TEE INVENTIONS OF HAWKINS
EDGAH FRANKLIN
THE GASOWASHINE.
The name and the precise location of
the hotel are immaterial. If you hap
pened to be there that night you know
very nearly all that occurred; if not.
you have in all probability never heard
af it, for I understand that the pro
prietors took every precaution against
publicity.
Let it suffce, then, that the hotel is
u prominent and a .fashionable one. lo
cated somewhere between the Batterv
and the Bronx, and that Hawkins and
1 sat at a table in the restaurant on
that particular evening and feasted.
The inventor had called at my office
and dragged me away to dine with him,
rather to my surprise, for I believed
him to be somewhere in the south with
his wife.
You see, after a certain explosion in
their home, a month or two of recon
struction had been necessary; and 1
opine that Mrs. Hawkins had thought
best to remove her husband while the
repairs were being made. If he had
been there it is dollars to doughnuts
he would have Invented a new brick
layer or a novel plastering machine
and wrecked the whole place anew.
It was in reply to my querj as to
his presence in New York that CiTk
ins said:
“Well, you know, Griggs, it im
pressed me as very foolish from the
first—that idea of my wife’s of getting
I out of town while the place was being
rebuilt.”
"She may have had her reasons,
Hawkins,” I suggested.
“Possibly, although 1 ."all to see what
they were. When a man’s own heme
is being built—or rebuilt—his place is
on the spot, to see that everything is
done right. Now, how, for instance,
could I, away down in Georgia, know
that those workmen were properly fit
ting up my new workshop?”
"Workshop?" I gasped. “Are you
having another one built?”
"Certainly," snapped Hawkins. “I
didn’t mention it to Mrs. Hawkins, for
she seems foolishly set against my con
tinuing my scientific labors. But I fixeu
it on the sly with the architect. It's an
finished now—has been for a week and
over—power and everything else.”
“Hawkins,” I said, sadly, “are you
going right on with your experiment
ing?”
“Of course I am,” replied the inven -
or. rather warmly. “It's altogetner
beyond your poor little brain, Grigzs,
but scientific work is the very breath
of my life! I can’t be happy without
it: I'm not going to try. Why, all those
seven weeks down south one idea
dimply roared in my head. I had to
come home and perfect it—and I did.
I've been In New York nearly three
weeks, working on it,” concluded
Hawkins, complacently.
“And you’ve managed to perfect an
other accursed—” I began.
Just then I ceased speaking and
watched Hawkins. His ears had
pricked up like a horse’s. I, too, lis
tened and heard what seemed to be a
heavy automobile outdoors; at any
rate, it was the characteristic chugg
chugg-chugg of a touring car, and now
adays a commonplace sound enough.
But it affected Hawkins deeply. An
ecstatic smile overspread his face, and
he drew in his breath with a long,
happy:
“A-a-a-a-a-ah!”
"Been buying a new auto, Hawk
ns?” I asked, carelessly.
“Auto be hanged!” replied the in
ventor, energetically. “Do you imag
ine that an automobile is making that
noise? I guess not! That's my new
invention, Griggs!”
“What!” I criei. “Here? In this
hotel?”
“Right here In this hotel—right un
der cur feet,” said Hawkins, proud
ly. “That noise comes from the Hawk
ins Gasowashine!”
l mmx i siarea open-moutnea pt
Hawkins tor a moment or two; I know
that I leaned back and shook with as
violent mirth as might be permitted
in so solemnly proper a resort.
“Well, does that impress you as par
ticularly humorous ?” demanded Hawk
ins, angrily.
“Hawkins,” I said, “why don’t you
start in and write nonsense verse?
There’s a fortune waiting for you?”
“I must say. Griggs,’ rejoined the
Inventor, sourly, "that you have very
little comprehension of the advertis
ing value of a good name. Who undei
the sun would ever remember the
'Hawkins Gosolene Washing Machine,'
if they saw it in a magazine? But
k —‘The Gasowasbine!’"
"Of course. It’s the one perfect con
trivance for washing and drying dishes;
and let me tell you the basic princi
ple of that machine breathes genius,
if I do say it. Why, Griggs, just think.'
You can pile in 300 or 400 dishes,
simply start the motor, and then sit
down while the clean, dry dishes are
piled neatly on the table.”
“And tiieyTe really using it here?” It
—It works?” i asked, wonderingly.
“Well, they’re going to use it,” said
Hawkins, rising. “I have consented to
allow them to try my model. It ar
rived here just before we did.”
“Hawkins, have we been sitting
right over that thing all this time?”
"Don’t try to in comic, Griggs,” said
the inventor, briskly, “I'm going
down to see who’3 fooling with that
motor. It should not have been
touched, although I must say it’s a sat
isfaction to sit in a first-class place
like this and hear my own machinery
running. Are you coming?"
1 will adroit that l was curious
about the contrivance. I folfcawed
Hawkins through the crowded dining
room to a door in the back.
Then, dodging a dozdn hurrying
waiters, we made cur way down an in
cline into the kitchen and through that
apartment, past steam 1 tables and
ranges and pots and kettles and other
paraphernalia of the cuisine.
At the farther end of the room stood
a massive affair of oak. It looked, as
nearly as it resembled any other thing
on earth, like a piano box; but oh each
side, near the top, was a huge fly
wheel, the two being apparently fas
tened to the ends of an axle.
For the rest of the mechanism, it
was all concealed. 1 rightly surmised
the monstrosity to be the Gasowashinc.
The fly-wheels were revolving slow
ly, and this seemed to irritate Hawk
ins.
"Good evening, Mr. Macdouga ,” he
said, to a puzzled looking gentleman.
the Gasowashine upside down, allow it
to rest upon the fly-wheels, which
keep on revolving, of course, and steer
it wherever I desired.”
“And so you might go a. little bet
ter and put on a saddle and a.steering
wheel and take a ride across the park
while you were washing dishes?” I
suggested, somewhat to the manager's
amusement. ■ t "
“Possibly you think it’s impractica
ble?” Hawkins rapped out “Perhaps
you don’t realize that there’s a. five
horsepower motor running that?”
“There, there, Hawkins,” I said,
soothingly, “if you-say that washy
washine is good for a trans-kltched’oR
a transcontinental tour,' I'll ’taWe ^our
word for it.” . , . ,' ,
“You don’t have to!” cried the in
ventor, wrathfully. “I demonstrate it.
See here, you!”
- To- this a corpulent French gentle
man in white, who had'just flipped an
omelette to a platter and sent it upon
j its way. “Come and g\ye pae a hand
' here. Just help, turn this thing over.”
The Gasowashine, puffing heavily a9
any racing auto, had plans of its own
and was accompanying them to the ac
companiment of a simply appalling
rattle of crockery.
“'Don’t let go! Don’t let go!” cried
Hawkins*’ ‘‘Keep hold, my man!”
“I do! I do! Mats, mon Dieu!” called
the Frenchman jerkily.
“But,* Mr. Hawkins,” gasped the
.manager as we hurrfecf after, ‘what
will become of our china?”
. “The; devil take your china!” snap
ped Hawkins, forgetful of his recent
guarantee. • “If they run into the wall,
it’ll break the motor!"
r Tti^y were not going to run into the
wall. The Gasowashine approached
the side of the apartment, swerved,
easily to the left, and made for the in
cline which led to the hotel dining
room.
“Good gracious!” screamed the man
ager. “Not up there! Knock that thing
over on Its side, Henri!”
“Don’t you do it, Henri,” cried llaw
kins. “If you do it'll smash,”
“I Shall Let It Go? Yes?”
| who stood eyeing the affair. “Mr.
I Griggs, Mr. Macdougal, the manager.
; So seme one started it, did he?"
! "One of the ’buses happened to
| touch it, and it started itself,” replied
the manager, gazing on the contriv
ance. “It’s cjuite safe to have about,
is it not, Mr. Hawkins?”
“Safe? Certainly it is safe.”
“I mean to say, if won’t injure the
dishes?” the gentleman continued, with
a doubtful smile. "You see, we have
filled the main compartment with hot
water, as you directed, and put in
300 pieces of our best crockery.”
“Mr. Macdougal,” said Hawkins,
icily, “if one dish is broken, I’ll pay
for it, and make you a present of the
machine, if yon say so. If you do not
wish to make the test, doubtless there
are other hotel men in New York Tvho
will appreciate its edvantages.”
“Not at all, not at all,’ cried the
manager. “I appreciate fully—”
"AH right,’ said Hawkins, shortly.
“Now, the dishes are all in, are they?
Very well. I’ll explain the thing to
Mr. Griggs and then start it. You see,
Griggs, the dishes are in here."
He tapped the side of the big box.
“When 1 turn on the power, they
*>■*} thoroughly rubbed and soused by
my automatic scrubbers—a separate
patent, by the way—and then they
reach this spot.”
He rapped upon the box near Hie
end.
“Here they are forced against a con
tinuous dish-towel, which runs across
rollers all the time. Just think of it!
Sixty yards of dish-towel, rolling over
and over and over! After that—but
you shall see tow they look after that
I’ll start her."
He twisted a valve of some sort. The
chugg-chugging became more pro
nounced, and the ‘ fly-wheels revolved
with very perceptibly increased rapid
l ity.
FTom somewhere inside the thing
emanated a gentle rattle and swish of
crockery and suds. Hawkins stood
back and regarded it proudly.
“There’s another great point about
the Gasowashlne, too,” he said. ‘ AS
you see, it's too heavy to shove from
place to place. What do we do?”
“Leave it where it is," I hazarded.
“Not at all. We simply invert it!
The whole business is watertight.
Every door fits so closely that it’s
impossible for a drop to escape. Now.
if I wished to move it to the other
end of this room, 1 should simply turn
“Co in me eela?” inquired the aston
ished cook, making pantomime with
his hands. ...
“Exactly. That's right. Catch hold
of the other side and don’t let go until
I tell you.”
The cook-complied.’Really, the Gaso
washine seemed to turn more easily
than might’ have been' expected irom
its huge bulk.
A strain or two, a puffed command
from Hawkins, an ominous ’sliding
about of hidden dishes, and the ma
chine lurched forward, poised a mo
mefit_on'its edge, and turned quite
gently, so that the wheels approached
the floor.
"Now, easy! Easy!” cried Hawkins.
"Don’t let the wheels down until I teil
you, and don’t let go till I give the
word. Now down! Down! Gently.”
The cook seemed to be feeling for a
new grip.
"Here! What are you doing?” cried
the Inventor. "Don't touch any of those
handles.”
“It is that 1 seek, a place for zt
hand,” murmured the cook apologetic
ally.
“Well/ find it and let her down. Got
your grip?”
“Aha! I have eet!” announced the
Frenchman, clutching one of the brass
knobs. -
“A11 right. Down!”
Down went, the Gasowashine. And a
very small fraction of one second later
things began to happen.
Each of Hawkins’ inventions pos
sesses a latent devil. You have only to
brush against , the handle or'the valve
or the string, or whatever It maybe
that connects him with the other world
and’the demon awakes^
In this case, the cook must have
pinched the tail of the devil of the
Gasowashine, for he sprang into' action
with a rush. •
“Is it,to release the hold?” asked-the
Frenchman as the wheels touched the
floor. \ ' •
“Np, not. till I—hey!” cried Hawkins,
starting back In amazement.
“Cur-r-dishes!” ejaculated the man
ager breathlessly.
The Gasowashine ami the 'cook were'
traveling across the witchen together,.
The Frenchman, with remarkable -.pres
ence of mind,-was.behind;the machine
and dragging back with all his might;
but as wall could he have hauled'-to a
standsfiirthe locomotive of the'Empire
State Express.- .' - -
“lit it smash!” roared the manager.
"Throw it over, Henri!"
“But I cannot," gasped the French
man as the Gasowashine set its wheels
upon the incline.
“Here! Somebody get in front o* that
thing!” commanded Maedougal. ’‘Don’t
let It go up. Knock it over!"
“if you knock that over!” stormed
Hawkins, springing to the side of his
contrivance and feeling excitedly for
the valve which should .shut off the
supply of gasolene. *
Two or three waited, having in
mind that their jobs depended upon
Macdougal’s approbation rather than
Hawkins’ strove to obey the former’s
injunction. They ran to the fore end
of the Gasowashine and seized It and
pushed back upon it sideways.
And did the Gasowashine mind?
Hardly.
It bowled the first man over so neat
ly that he fell squarely beneath one cf
his fellows, who was descending load
ed with dishes. It relied one of its
wheels across the toes of the qext an
tagonist. and drew from him a shriek
which sent people ir the dining room
to their feet.
After that coup, the Gasowashine
had things all its own way on the In
cline.
The French cook still maintained his
hold. Hawkins pranced along side and
fumbled feverishly, first with that knob
then with this little wheel.
Several of them he managed to move,
but to no good end. Whether excite
ment had confused Hawkins’ mind or.
the details of his invention I cannot
say; but certainly, far from control
ling-th,e.Gasowashine, he made matters
worse. /■
The- machine puffed harder, the
Wheels revolved more rapidly, and the
whole affair climbed steadily toward
the dining room, dragging the tena
cious cook along the incline in a sit
ting pos-ure..
Thus was made the first public ap
pearance of the Gasowashine, to the
utter amazement of some hundred
diners.
Bursting through the doors, it snort
ed for a'•moment, ''end-seemed to be
considering the long rows of tables be
fore it. Several waiters, gasping with
astonishment at the uncouth appari
tion, ran: to chock its progress.
That seemed to stir the Gasowashine
anew. It emitted a sharp puff of rage
and plhnged headlong forward.
MAKING PAPER FROM PEAT.
Peat cardboard Is comparatively a
new product. For many years ex
periments In making this much-ust d
article from peat were tried without
I success, but about three years aye
an Austrian inventor obtained pat
ents for a process which did not neces
sitate the use of chemicals and did
not require the boiling of the “half
stuff.” A company was formed in this
•mmtry. a plant was erected among
the peat beds of Michigan and . large
quantities of the paper (boxboard) are
being turned out. The machine room
contains a 120-inch five-cylinder ma
chine, with 41 drivers, and the heater
room contains four 1,500-pound heat
ers. No refiners are used. Paper can
be and is pi educed in two hours from
the time the peat is dug out of the
ground and it is declared to be of a
superior quality. It is of a brown
color, is odorless, pot as brittle ta
strawboard, and resists moisture to l
greater degree. The peat paprtr Jj
made in practically the same wiy as
strawboard, the patent being upj4*c«
process for reducing the peat • fct* a
workable pulp. *
We hear of a great many “ceiling
men,” but most of them avL;i.&U/
miss connections.
Hawkins pranced along by its side,
half turning as he ran to cry:
"Now,, just-make way, ladies an i
gentlemen, please. It’s not at all dan
gerous. Just make way.”
They made way, without losing any
undue amount of time.
One or two women fainted unosten
tatiously.
Most of them, meu and womer.,
scrambled away from the main aisle,
which seemed to have been selected by
the Gasowashine for its further per
formances.
“Hawkins,’ I panted when I had
managed to regain breath, "why don’t
you knock the cursed thing over?”
"There, there, there, Griggs,” sizzled
Hawkins, dashing the perspiration
from his eyes. "I’ve almost control of
it now. I’ll just shut off this—”
He gave a powerful twist at one of
the handles.
"That'll—” he began.
“Pouff!” roared the Gasowashine,
rearing up and lunging wildly from
side to side for a moment.
Then it started down the aisle in
earnest. Bang! Bang! Bang! echoed
from the crockery inside. Puff! Puff!
Puff! said the motor, driving its hard
est.
"Ceil!” wailed the cook. "I shall let
it go? Yes?”
“No!” shouted Hawkins, running be
hind the unhappy man. “In just a
second it’ll—”
It did, although not perhaps what
Hawkins expected.
I saw a little door in the side of the
infernal machine flip open. I perceived
a shower of finely subdivided crockery
hanging over the cook for a moment.
Then the hits of china and some rwo
or three gallons of greasy water de
scended upon the Frenchman and the
door flipped to once more. The Gasc
washine had dislodged the cook and
was free to pursue its wanderings un
hindered.
And certainly it made the most ol
the opportunity.
For three or four yards it bumped
along, ramming its top-heavy nose in
to the carpet and seemin' to become
more and more enraged at its slow
progress. Then it paused a moment
and pawed at the floor with its whiz
zing Wl.<A>'8.
I fancied teat I could upset it then,
and sprang far-yard to do so, regard
less of Hawkins.
I might have known better. I was
within perhaps ten feet of the Gaso
washine when another door, this time
a smaller one toward the front,
squeaked for a moment and then flew
open. Simultaneously a bolt of some
thing white shot forth and made for
my head.
Regardless of appearances, I dropped
flat to the floor and wriggled out of the
danger zone.
When I arose, I realized what new
disaster had taken place. It was the
60 yards of dish-towel this time!
Presumably a roller had smashed
and released the thing, at any rate,
there it was, yard after yard of it,
trailing after the Gasowashine as it
thumped energetically toward the
street door.
And that was not the worst. The end
of the toweling entwined itself about
one of the dining tables and held
there. The table went over, collided
with the next and emptied that, too.
Then the next followed and the next,
each new crash echoed by the fright
ened squeals of the guests, now lined
up against the opposite walls.
The tenth table, with its load of
crockery and glassware, had been sent
to destruction before Macdougal, the
manager, finally gained the dining
room. Tears rose to his eyes as he
made a rapid survey of the havoc, but
he sept his wits and shouted:
“Knock it over! Somebody knock it
over!" A big military-looking man ia
evening clothes sprang forward. I of
fered a prayer for him and held my
breath. He rushed to the Gasowashine.
seized it with his mighty arms, and
gave a shove.
“M-m-m-mister,” quavered Hawkins,
wriggling from under one of the ta
bles, “don't do that! The g-g-g-gaso
lene tank!"
But it was done. With a dull crash,
the only perfect machine for washing
and drying dishes fell to its side. The
big man smiled at it.
And then—well, then a sheet of
flame seemed to envelope the unfortu
nate. A heavy boom shook the apart
ment, the big glass door splintered
musically and fell inward, the lights in
that end of the room were extin
guished.
Then followed the screams of the
terrified guests, the patter of number
less fragments of crockery and count
less drops of filthy dishwater as they
reached the floor. And then the big
man picked himself up some 20 feet
from the spot where he had dared the
wrath of the Gasowashine.
And Hawkins standing majestically
in the wreck of a table, with one foot
in a salad bcwl and the other oozing
nesselrode pudding, while an unbroken
stream of mayonnaise dressing mean
dered down the back of his coat—Haw
j kins, standing tbu3. shook his fist at
! the big man and, above the turmoil
| shouted at him:
! “I told you so!”
Such was the fate of the first, last
and only Gasowashine.
Bellboys, clerks and waiters pelted
with hand grenades its smoldering re
mains and squirted chemical Are ex
tinguishers upun it; but the Gasowash
ine’s day was done. Its turbulent spirit
had passed to another sphere.
Later, when some measure of order
had been restored to the dining room,
when the door had been boarded up
and the inquisitive police satisfied and
I the street crowd dispersed; when a
sympathetic waiter had partially
cleansed Hawkins, and that gentleman
had suggested that we might as well
depart, he received a peremptory invi
tation to call upon the proprietor in his
private office.
The proprietor was a calm, cold
man. He viewed Hawkins with an in
scrutable stare for some time before he
spoke.
“I hardly know. Mr. Hawkins.” he
• said at last, "whom to blame for
this.”
“Well, I know! That hulking lum
mox who knocked over my—”
“At any rate, the machine was yours.
I fear you will have to pay for the
■ damage."
“I will, eh?” blustered Hawsins.
I "Well, I told your man Maedougal that
if one dish was broken I’d pay for it.
Here's the dollar for the dish! Come,
Griggs."
“Um-um. So you refuse to settle?"
smiled the proprietor.
“Absolutely and positively!” de
■ dared Hawkins.
“Well, I think that, pending a suit
‘ for damages. I can have you held on a
I charge of disorderly conduct,” mused
| the calm man. “Mr. Maedougal, wdli
: you kindly call an officer?”
Hawkins wilted at that. His cbeck
| book came forth, and the string or Sg
j ures he was compelled to write uiade
my heart bleed.
When be had exchanged the slip for
a receipt, Hawkins and I made for the
side door and slunk out into the night.
The Gasowashine, I presumed, or
such combustible fragments as re
mained, found an inglorious *rave
next day in the ranges of the .same
kitchen which had witnessed tine start
of its short little life.
! •
DANGER IN THE COLD BATH.
Should Never Be Indulged In Unless
the Person Is in Good Phy
sical Condition.
In a suggestive article on bathing,
a doctor gives some hints which
should never be forgotten and which
are of interest to those who have long
known them as well as to those who
have not Here are a few excerpts:
Should one feel chilled after a cold
bath and the following hard rub, that
person must realize that cold baths
are -ad.
There is really no way I can sug
gest that a person can tell whether or
not cold baths are good for him, ex
cept by the glow and bodily warmth
that should follow. I think if the
finger nails look blue and the body is
covered with gooseflesh after the bath
that it is too strenuous, says the
physician.
As to the method of taking baths,
I believe that a needle, shower or
bath sponge is best, for few are strong
enough to stand a plunge, and as to
sitting or lying in a tub of cold water,
I would say unhesitatingly that it is
unwise, for it takes too much animal
heat and resiles in a loss of energy
that is unnecessary. Frequently those
who are not strong enough to take a
cold water bath as it comes from the
spigot will find it immensely bene
ficial when a bag of salt is placed in
the tub; or by taking the chill off with
the addition of warm water, the bath
will still be practically cold, for the
temperature will be much cooler than
the body.
Cold baths should, as a rule, be
taken only in the morning directly
after rising, unless a person is very
warm and wants a cold tub on a hot
day or in a few cases of extreme
fatigue. When very warm I would
suggest that the individual wait until
the perspiration is entirely dried on
the body before getting into the wa
ter. For the shook to the nerves and
the rapidity with which the blood is
drawn to the surface of the skin by
the cold is not good. This same rule
applies to salt water bathing. And
many persons who jump into the surf
when very warm and covered with
persjpration often wonder why they
feel nauseated after they have been
in a few minutes.
One of the most refreshing baths I
have ever taken is a combination of
the cupful of cider vinegar and cold
water. If it is not too cold I would
suggest lying in It from five to ten
minutes when particularly fatigued,
for the reaction is remarkable.
There is this to be guarded against
in cold water bathing, that it Is not
to be done unless the person is physic
ally fit, never when the thought of the
cold on the body brings a shiver or if
one feels weak. At such times a bath
in tepid water will be far better and
will have no bad results, as the cold
one might
A Soothing Remedy.
There is something infinitely sooth
ing in massage for tired eyes when
rightly applied. All that is needed is
the power of using the fingers with
infinite gentleness. The lids arq
closed and the “masseur" using two
or three fingers passes them above
and below the lashes from the inner
corner of the eye outward. The
movement may be followed by strokes
over each eyebrow.
A quick bath is the best remedy in
the world for lassitude, a fit of the
blues, headaches and a lot of minor
ills. There is nothing so conducive to
a clear skin, for by stimulating all the
pores all over the body loss of tae Im
purities of the skin are sent out
through the more sensitive glands of
the face. Beauty baths of milk and
rose petals and all that sort of thing
is the greatest, kind of flubdub talk.
; RELICS OF PREHISTORIC PEOLPE.
,B. B.. Strong, who Is working a mine
near Anaconda, Mont., brought into
that city a knife of stone, carved
with heads of. animals, tmearthed 65
fee*.' from the mouth of a tunnel
dri ven into a hill 200 feet from the
peak. Mr. Strong also found, near the
knife, a huge stone, in the shape of j
ai altar, and believed to' have been
11 ae sacrificial stone of a prehistoric
i people.
A peculiar nauseating odor, unlike
anything encountered in mines in
Montana, leads Mr. Strong to believe
that further along his workings he
will encounter either mummies or a
chamel-hcuse. The knife will be
sent to the Smithsonian institute at
Washington.
Local archeologists believe that
Mr. Strong has stumbled upon the
ancient burying ground of those van
ished races whose traces are seen in
southern Colorado, in Wyoming and
in western Nebraska, and to study
whose forts and buried cities an ex
pedition from the University of Ne
braska is soon to leave for Wyoming.
—Salt Lake Tribune.
It may be that a woman changes
her mind oftener than a man because
It needs changing oftener.
I
The Love Interest
By S. E. KISER.
What a difficult job the dramatist
has, to be sure! It is always neces
sary for him to make the hero fall
in love with the girl early In the first
act, and she must, ot' course, return
his love without letting him know it
at the same time being careful tc
make the matter plain to the audi
ence. After it has become evident to
everybody but the girl that the man
is ready to sacrifice even his life for
her sake and when everybody but the
hero knows that the heroine is dying
for him they proceed somewhat after
this style:
ACT L
He—Ah, Miss DeLancey, there Is in
my heart something that—but, no! I
must not. I cannot!
She—Oh—Ari:h—I mean Mr. Spriggs,
if I could only confide in you—but.
hark! There is. my aunt
He—And must we part forever?
She—Forever—unless—but I must
not say the words that are struggling
for utterance u;pon my lips.
He—If I only dared; if I only had
the right to—to—
She—Yes, yes; go on.
He—No; it cannot—it cannot be!
She—Ah, well, then, let us say good
by forever.
He—No, no, no! Not forever! Don't
say that.
She—But why should you care
whether it is for—ever or not?
He—You are going to marry Dun
can Dingleblatt. Ah, well, bo be it I
will go out into the world alone—and
—and—but why should I bore you by
standing here and telling you of my
intentions? I will go now.
She—No, no, please don’t—that is.
if you must be going, good-by.
(He impulsively catches up one of
her hands, kisses it and exists.)
ACT 1L
He—Miss DeLacey! Why, what
brings you here?
She—Papa and I are making a trip
around the world. How good it seems
to meet you.
He—Thank you for saying that- Ah,
if I only dared to tell you that which
—but no, no, no! It cannot be.
She—You cannot know how happy
it has made me to meet—dear me?
What am I saying? I met Miss Fri
berson in Paris.
He—Don’t — don’t mention that
woman’s name to me.
She—But you love her and—
He—No, a thousand times no! If
she were the list woman in the world
I would scor-r-r-rn her-r-r!
She—Oh, if I could only believe
that what you say is—but no, no, no!
I must put all that out of my heart for
ever. Good-by.
He—Stay! I cannot let you go. I
will speak! And yet—ah, I have not;
the right to say these things to you.
Duncan Dingleblatt's ring is gleaming
upon your finger, and—I will speak! I
must tell you what is in my—curses!
There comes your aunt! But I will
not be flenied the right to tell you of
my—my (he makes a leap, lands at
her feet and kisses the hem of her
skirt) to tell you if my—but no! It is
my fate to be compelled to remain
silent.
She (sobbing)—Good—good-by for
ever. And when you and Henrietta
Fribberson are man and wife—I—I
hope you may be very ha-appy. (Cur
tain.)
ACT III.
He has changed his clothes and
now wears the garb of a toiler. She
is sitting on the southeast handle of
a wheelbarrow, musing. Suddenly he
stops, evidently greatly surprised at
her presence.
He—You her-r-r-re?
She—Oh! ’how you frightened me.
I am so glad to see you. Ah, if I could
only tell you how glad I am—but I
must not say such things to you.
When did you return to America?
He—Immediately after we met in
Naples. I have been out west trying
—trying to—to—
She—Trying to what?
He—Trying to forget.
She—But why should you want to
forget?
He—N’ ahh-h! Can you ask me
that?
She—I suppose it was very hard for
you to give tip Miss Fribberson.
He—Why do you insist on mention
ing that woman to me? ' I never cared
for her.
She—Oh, if I could only believe—
but there! It is'iill over. Ah, well!
I shall die an old maid.
He—Don't—don't say these words.
Olivia—pardon me—Miss De Lancey,
I—I—there is something that I have
• wished to—to say to you—something
that—but, all no! I’m a fool to stand
here talking this way. Pardon me if
—if I have—oh, good-by. Miss De
Lancey. But remember that if yon
ever need a friend 1 will be ready to
do anything you may ask of me.
She—You are so good. I am afraid
I don’t deserve vour kindness. Oh, if
—if—but no! It cannot be. Did you
know that Duncan Dingleblatt and
Miss Fribberson were married?
(He leaps half-way across the stage
and catches her in his arms.)
He—Married? Then he is not to
you for his wife, after all?
She—Me? Why, I thought you
knew there never was any truth in
that silly gossip.
He—Olivia! Darling! I love you!
She—And I love you, Arthur, with
all my soul.
He—Ah, iny sweetheart At last—
at la—last!
(Curtain.)
—Chicago Uecord-Herald.
Facts in the Case.
Singleton—A sensible girl is apt to
request the young man she is engaged
to not to spend so much money on
her. Mrs. Wedderly—Yes; but she
doesn't have occasion to make such
a request after marriage.—Chicago
Daily News.
Hush Money.
“I give you this, you understand, as
hush money,” the senator whispered.
And handing the druggist a quarter ha
took up the bottle of soothing ttroy
and tiptoed out.
