MR. BRYAN AT HOME
it _
People of All Political Parties in Town and Country
Give Him Hearty Welcome.
GREATEST DEMONSTRATION OF HIS TRIP
Acres of faces Turned to Nebraska's Distinguished
Citizen as he Addressed Them at the
State house in Lincoln.
LINCOLN—William J. Bryan is at
home. His return from a year's trip
abroad was marked by the greatest
demonstration ever witnessed in the
state capital. Citizens of Lincoln, re
gardless of party affiliations, augment
ed by many thousands from out in
the state, were at' the depot to meet
him at 5 o’clock, followed him to the
home of his brother, Charles Bryan,
where he and his family ate dinner,
heard him speak in the evening at the
state house and then shook his hand.
It was a crowd in love with Bryan
and a crowd full on enthusiasm. It
cheered him before he alighted from
the. train, cheered him along the line
of march to his brother's home, and
cheered him while he spoke. It was
Nebraskans paying a tribute to a Ne
braskan.
Lincoln was lighted and decorated
A. in honor of the occasion as never be
fore. The principal streets were
arched with electric lights; the stores
were literally covered wuth flags and
gay rib Ik ms and pictures of the distin
guished citizen were exposed at every
available window.
Mr. Bryan’s Lincoln welcome began
when the train passed the state fair
grounds. Hundreds of people who
sighted the dust covered banner, “Bry
an’s Home Folks." set up a cheer that
reached to the larger crowd at the Bur
lington station. As soon as the train
Oldham. Edgar Howard and most of
the democratic mayors of the state
who helped to bring Bryan home from
New York. Harry Walker of New
York, who, with Walter Hoge. conceiv
ed the idea of the New York reception,
came clear to Lincoln to sae the finish
of what he started.
Being introduced by Mayor Brown
of Lincoln, Mr. Bryan said in part:
Mr. Mayor, Governor. Members of the
Reception Committee. I-adies and Gen
tlemen: In the Arabic language there
are some €00 words which mean
‘'camel,' and for the last few days I
have been wishing that there wei;e
that many words in the English lan
guage that meant “thank you." I
have had occasion to use the old fa
miliar term ‘t'hank you" a great many
times since I landed in New York. In
London I had occasion to regret that
I could speak but one language in
that meeting where the representa
tives of twenty-six nations were as
sembled. but if I could speak all the
languages known to man I would not
he able to express the gratitude which
my wife and I feel for the generous
welcome that has been extended to us
on our return home. The home folks
met us in the harbor of New York, and
I never looked into the faces of a group
of friends more gladly in my life.
They took charge of us. and they have
lloated us ou the stream of welcome
l.f.OO miles long, several leagues wide,
and of immeasurable depth, until that
stream has emptied itself in this
ocean of good will. To come home to
; those among whom we live and find
this kindly feeling touches our hearts;
i to find those who differ from us In po
i litical opinion vieing with those who
agree with us to make our reception
| delightful, more than pays us for any
thing that wc have been able to do.
It was kind of our dear old minister
I to oiler tiie invocation and my heart
WILLIAM JENNINGS BRYAN.
stopped Mr. Bryan. Mrs. brvan and
Miss Grace Bryan came to the plat
form of the private car in which they
rode.
William J. Bryan. Jr., was the first
to greet the home comers. He leaped
to the steps of the platform, was grab
bed in the arms first of his father, who
kissed him and then passed him to his
mother and sister. Then, while a lusty
photographer shouted from the roof of
the station, “Mr. Bryan, look up,’’ the
distinguished cithsen pushed out into
the crowd, shaking hands with all who
rushed at him. Almost immediately,
however, he was yanked into a car
riage with Governor Mickey. Mayor
Brown and J. E. Miller and taken to
Charles Bryan's residence.
The crowd at the state house, which
A assembled in the evening to hear Mr.
Bryan speak, was a compact mass and
numbered not less than 50,000 people.
It was here the bars were taken down
and the real old-fashioned enthusiasm
turned loose. It was 7:30 before Mr.
Bryan, headed by Governor Mickey:
and Mayor Brown, walked onto the!
balcony leading from the supreme I
court rooms on the second floor. They 1
were greeted by cheers whie lasted !
several minutes.
Dr. George Martin, pastor of Mr.
Bryan’s church, prayed, after which
Mayor Brown welcomed the Lincolnite j
home. The mayor caught the spirit i
of the crowd. He was short and to'
the point. He was followed by Gov-1
ernor Mickey, whose remarks were!
quite extended and who was admonish-:
ed by the crowd to “Cut it short.”
The crowd turned itself loose when :
Mr. Bryan began to speak. When he I
told them the Arabic language had 600'
words which misant “camel” and he
wished the American language had 600
words whch meant “thank you,” he
caught the crowd. The people knew
the “Peerless Leader" was sincere in
his thanks for the great home-coming
reception tendered him.
Many prominent democrats from
■ over the state were in Lincoln and at
l tended the meeting, as did most of the
republican state candidates. On the
platform among the democrats were
State Chairman Tom Alen and Dr. Hall
and G. W. Berge, while away down in
the crowd were W. H. Thompson, can
didate for United States senator. Judge
joins his in its ascent to the throne
of God in gratitude for that providence
that has kept us from the dangers of
foreign lands and brought us safely
from the perils of the deep. It is kind
in the chief executive of the city to
welcome us to this, his rich domain;
and it is kind in the governor of this
great state to join in givig us a greet
ing as we come home. The fact that
this man. with whom t have not al
ways been able to entirely agree, has
overlooked the opposition that has
sometimes arisen, only shows how
much there is in life that we can en
joy together, and how little after all
political differences ought to count be
tween men. I might describe t thus,
that the things that we hold in com
mon are like sunshine of the day.
while partisan differences are like the
clouds that come and in a moment pass
away.
I am glad to be here with you. and
1 speak for my wife and children as
well as for myself, when I thank you
a thousand, thousand times. I dont'
know how I can repay you for the joy
you have given us. unless you mill per
mit tne as occasion offers to bring such
lessons as I am able to bring from
what we have observed in other lands.
When we conceived this trip around
the earth it was with the belief that
there would be education In it. We
thought SO highly of it that we were
willing to take the children out of
school for a year, and I believe that it
was worth more than a years' educa
tion. But it has been instructive far
beyond what we imagined, and we have
been able to store up information that
will not only be valuable in the years
to come, but wTill give us something to
reflect upon in the closing years of
our lives. I .have for years appreciated
the honor and the responsibility of
American citizenship. Twenty-two
years ago when I returned to my col
lege to receive the masters 'degree I
took as the subject of my address.
"American Citizenship." and as I recall
the language that I then used I am
sure that even then I understand some
what of the Importance of our nation’s
position among the nations of the
earth. During the nearly a quarter
of a century that has elapsed my ap
preciation of my nations' greatness has
increased, but never so much as in the
last twelve months have I grown in
the pride that I have in my nation.
Following the sun in his course
around the globe I have notect every
where the effect of American influence
Before I left home I had spoken at
times of aphorism and its part in the
world's affairs. But. my friends. I
have learned something of aphorism
since I was last among you. and I
affirm without fear of contradiction
that there is no nation on earth which
manifests such disinterested friendship
ror the human race as this dear land
of ours. Not only do I affirm that our
nation has no equal living, but I affirm
that history presents no example like
ours. In many ways our nation is
leading the world. I have found in
e\er> land I have visited a growth of
ideas that underlie our government. A
century and a quarter ago certain po
litical doctrines were planed or Ameri
can soil, and those doctrines have
grown and spread until there Is not a
nation on earth that has not felt the
impu'se that was started in this coun
try at that time. There is not a nation
in the werld in wMch the democrat!*
idea is not moving and moving power
fully today. Go into Japan and you
will And that they not only have a
representative, but that they are con
tinually endeavoring to make that gov
ernment more responsible to the whole
people. Go into China, that great na
tion that has slumbered for twenty
centuries, and you will find that there
is a stirring there and that her em
press has within a year sent commis
sioners abroad to investigate t«e insti
tutions of other lands for the purpose
of granting a constitutional govern
ment to the flowery kingdom.
Within a year public opinion in Rus
sia has forced a reluctant czar to grant
a douma, and while that douma has
been dissolved, it has been dissolved
with the promise that another shall
take its place. Not only do you find
the democratic sentiment—and I need
not tell you that I use the word in no
partisan sense—I think democracy
means the rule of the people—not only
is this idea spreading, but education i»
spreading throughout the world.
But. my friends. I am not here to
speak to you tonight. It has been an
nounced that we are to have the pleas
ure of shaking hands with you as soon
as I have concluded my remarks. I
have been taking a survey of this a«
dience. Mrs. Bryan and 1 have nt
times shaken hands with as many as
S.ilOO an hour, and 1 have been looking
over this audience and wondering how
high the sun would be in the sky to
morrow morning when 1 got through.
As we have not had cur full quota of
sleep since we landed in New Tork I
think I shall not postpone that sleep
too long. I think 1 shall not occupy
more of your time than to say that we
come home again with delight. We
have seen nothing abroad that is so
dear to us as home.
Tonight we shall not rest on the
trembling bosom of the mighty deep;
we shall rest rather on these billowy
plains of the boundless west, and I
am sure that the alfalfa scented air
of these lands will be sweeter than
the spiey breezes of Ceylon. And I
know that in my home upon the hill
where we can meet you and-talk over
the days when we have been absent
we will be far happier than we would
be in any castle on the Rhine. I
thank you for your attention.
Mr. Bryan was cheered lustily and
long. The doors of the state house
were opened and the crowd filed
through.
The reception was in the rotunda of
the capitol. It was attended by many
thousands of people desirous of grasp
ing the hands of Mr. and Mrs. Bryan.
The crowd was well handled, and al
though it moved slowdy, everything
was carried out in an orderly fashion.
Only the north and south doors of the
capitol were opened, and the people
entered from the north, using the
south entrance as an exit. The re
ception committee, appointed some
time ago by Dr. F. M. Hall, chairman,
formed lints on each side of the re
ceiving line, consisting of Mr. and Mrs.
W. J. Bryan, Governor and Mrs. J. W.
Mickey, Mayor and Mrs. F. W. Brown,
and Mr. and Mrs. J. E. Miller. The
people thronged the capitol grounds
and until near the end of the reception
it was impossible for one to get within
forty feet or more of the entrance to
the building. The crowd, while wait
ing. however, was entertained by the
elegant display of fireworks from the
front of the capitol grounds. The re
ception was rushed through and ended
early, so that the out-of-town visitors
might be able to catch their trains,
most of which were scheduled to de
part at 10 o'clock.
Chief Cause of Suicide.
The old school of neuropathologists
maintained that every case of suicide
was a case of insanity, but that the
ory has been abandoned because of
the preponderance of testimony
against it. Acute mania sometimes
causes suicide, but in the large ma
jority of cases sheer laziness and pol
troonery furnish the plain evidence of
motive. The lazy theory is, there
fore. approximately correct, even
though it is improperly restricted to
hot weather suicides. It really applies
to all.
World's Consumption of Rubber.
Some idea of the enormous quantity
of rubber used every year can be ob
tained from the following necessarily
tough estimate of French statistical
cxper-ts. They calculate that the pres
ent total annual production of rubber
is not less than 57.000,000 pounds. Of
this total about 55 per cent comes
from South America and Africa, and
considerably over 45 per cent of the
finished product is consumed in the
United States. Germany is the sec
ond largest user of rubber.
A Courtship of 25 Years.
The recent wedding of Miss Mar
garette McCough of New Derry and
Oscar Crissinger of Derry was ibe
culmination of a courtship which had
extended over a quarter of a century.
There had been no lovers’ quarrels,
but Miss McCough would not set the
oay. and the event was delayed from
year to year until now the bride is
dO years old and the bridegroom is 65.
—Latrobe Correspondence. Pittsburg
Dispatch.
Diamonds in America.
Diamonds are constantly being
found in the woods of Canada, and
last year a stone, picked up by an
Indian, was sold to a w’hite man for 85
cents. The white man hurried to De
troit with it and got *1.500 from a
jeweler for his investment. It is be
lieved by scientists that the diamond
bed exists in' the north, and that the
diamonds were brought into the south
central parr bv prehistoric glaciers.
Imaginary Diseases.
Only an imaginary remedy ran cure
an imaginary disease. This may be
condemned by the righteous as
quackery, and quackery of a kind it
undoubtedly is. But if the real end
of medicine is to cure, can she. when
iegitimate means fail, afford to de
spise anything that relieves suffering,
even though that suffering be imagin
ary?—British Medical Journal.
Corn’s Wonderful Productiveness.
Under favorable conditions a sin
gle kernel of maize or corn may in
crease to a million kernels in two
years. Many of the lower forms of
animal life are capable of multiplying
much faster than that astonishing
rate, but the necessary conditions—
especially freedom from the attacks
of destructive enemies—seldom, if
ever, exist.
British officials are set a task in
the Persian gulf as impossible of ac
complishment as that of the Israelites
of old; for they are expected to fur
ther the interests of their compatri
ots, maintain the prestige of their
country, and right the wrong, with
insufficient authority upon the spot
and but little hope from home.—
Blackwood's Magazine.
JAMES 5. HARLAN.
Appointed Member of ths Interstate Commerce Commission.
ONE MOMENT OF DELIGHT.
When American Woman Got Even
with Nagging Britichers.
Everybody who has lived in Lon
don,” said the woman who has trav
eled a little, “will agree with Bishop
Potter that there is very little good
will exhibited toward Americans
there, particularly Americans who are
not incumbered with wealth, but I
got even with them once for eight
mouths of nagging at our nation and
customs. It was on a Fourth of July.
We were on our balcony, in Russel
square, watching some Americans
start off in a coach with great crack
ing of whips and fire of crackers and
flourish of flags.
'■ ‘Aw—er, don't you know?' asked i
an Englishman who stood by me.
"What—er—are they making ail that
noise for? What is it—er—that they I
are celebrating. I should like to
awsk?"
“ 'They are celebrating the day we
licked you,’ said I.”
OFFERED UP TO MAMMON.
Lives and Health of Children Sac
rificed to God of Gain.
Irene Macfadyen of England, after
inspecting conditions, a year or two
ago, wrote: "The physical, mental,
and moral effect of these long hours
of toil on the children is indescribab
PAINFUL SUSPICION.
John Chinaman—Wonder what 'Melican man wantee?—He no act natural
lv sad. Mill children are so stunted
that every foreman will tell you that
vou cannot judge their ages. The lint
in their lungs forms a perfect cul
tivating medium for tuberculosis and
pneumonia, and consumption is com- |
mon among them. Many die after !
a few years of this service.” The
Washington Post, commenting on
child-labor in the south, says: “The i
average life of the children after they 1
go into the mills is four years. It j
would be less Cruel for a state to
have children painlessly put to death
than it is to permit them to Ire ground
to death by this awful process."—The I
Cosmopolitan.
World's Favorite Fruit.
It is estimated by those who know i
that the apple is the favorite fruit of:
the world, but whether favorite or not, I
it is eaten more more than is any
other fruit. When William the Con- !
queror went from Normandy to Eng- >
land, among the many good things he j
did was to have large orchards plant- |
ed wherever he and his followers set- i
tied, and these orchards consisted ;
principally of apples, the fine quality !
that grew so abundantly in Erance.
Digging Coal Under the Sea.
Up in Cape Breton island, where
there are a number of collieries, dig
ging out coal from under the sea, the
submarine area thus undermined now
amounts to about 16 ordinary farms of
100 acres each. The outer end of the
hole is something over a mile from
the shore. Strange as it may seem,
the workings have never been invaded
by sea water, although fffesh water
streams have been encountered flow
ing out in the strata under the ocean
bed. The thickness of strata over the
mines varies from 500 to 1,140 feet.
be forgotten. The school children of
Kansas were asked to contribute a
penny each to secure suitable mark
ers for this pioneer highway of prog
ress, and 36D.166 responded. With
this fund the trail will be outlined in
an enduring manner from Kansas City
to Santa Fe, 800 miles as the cara
vans made it. the time consumed for
the round trip being 110 days. It is
believed the trail dates back to 1540,
when a Spanish adventurer led an ex
pedition from Mexico as far north as
Kansas. But it was not until the be
ginning of the last century that the
American trader and pioieer utilized
the long trail that stretched out into
the wilderness of the new El Do
rado.
The Best Hamlet.
In his first success at Drury Lane,
Edmund Kean overheard a knot of old
stage carpenters discussing vigorously
the various players of Hamlet they
had seen in their day. “Well,” said
one, ‘you may talk of Henderson and
Kemble and this new man, but give
me Bannister’s Hamlet—he was al
ways done 20 minutes sooner than
any of ’em."
Cold Storage for Hay Fever.
Here is a cure for hay fever that
may not come too late for the sue
ceptible victim of that fell malady.
The Hospital relates that “a gentle
man who was suffering from hay fe
ver happened one summer to spend
two hours in the refrigerating hold
of a steamer." This cured him and
he had. no further attack that sum
mer. As a remedy, “cold storage”
has objections, but there are victims
who would even be cured at the ex
pense of a frozen foot or fingers, and
at any rate the idea 1b refreshing.
MEANS END OF OBSERVATORY
Power House Threatens Usefulness of
Scientific Station.
The Greenwich observatory, Eng
land. one of the most important astro
nomical stations of the world, is about
to be “put out of business.” according
to the Electrical Review, by the pow
er station located near it by the Lon
don county council.
“The power station is located,” says
the Review, “exactly on the meridian,
about a mile south of the observatory,
and, although it at present has but
a smail part of its complement, the
entire equipment will have an output
of over 50,000 horsepower. Already
some disturbance has resulted from
the observatory authorities have
from th'1 operation of certain
generating units, and the ob
servatory authorities have brought
the matter before parliament,
as they fear that when all the ma
chinery is in place and running, their
instruments will become useless.”
As nearly all the world now gets
its longitude from Greenwich, all the
world will share in the wonder that
the British government was so inert
as to allow a power station to be put
where it will interfere with important
scientific work.
Marking the Santa Fe Trail.
The famous old Santa Fe trail is to
be marked so that its location will not
INDIAN SWEAT BATH
REGARDED BY SOME TRIBES AS
A “CURE ALL."
Belief In Thie Heroic Form of Treat
ment for Disease Was Largely
Responsible for the Whit
man Massacre.
The “sweat” bath of the Indian is a
cure-all warranted by the tribal med
icine man to cure anything and every
thing, from sunburn to corns. It is
taken in a primitive but effective man
ner.
When the Indian feels the languor
of disease stealing over his frame
he hies himself to a brook and in
some convenient place by the side of
a deep pool builds himself a “sweat
house.” This house is built of wil
low and hazel poles, bent like the
center wicket in a croquet set. Over
these are wrapped skins and blankets
Until the place is practically air tight,
an opening just large enough to allow
a man to crawl through is left close
to the ground, and this opening is cov
ered with a flap, which may be tight
ly fastened from the inside when de
sired. When this house has been
completed the patient builds a fire
close by and into it rolls a number
of large stones, which he heats red
hot. He then retires to the interior
of the house, accompanied by no
clothes, the hot stones and a large
vessel of water.
He closes the door, pours the wa
ter over the stones, and endures a
primitive but at the same time effect
ive Turkish bath. When the sick man
can stand the heat and steam no long
er he breaks from the house, followed
by a cloud of steam and perspiration
dripping from every pore and plunges
headlong into the icy cold depths of
the pool.
This treatment is said to be effect
ive for a great many diseases. It
undoubtedly aided in the creation of
a hardy race of warriors by killing off
all but those which could not be
.killed by anything short of super
human agency.
In 1847, while Dr. Whitman and his
family were camped with the Cayuses.
and just beginning to have sume suc
cess toward overcoming their preju
dices and gaining their friendship,
an epidemic of measles broke out in
the tribe.
Dr. Whitman and his wife did what
they could for the suffering Indians.
The doctor prescribed for them out
of his store of medicines, and would
have checked the disease in all prob
ability had not the jealousies of the
Indian medicine men, coupled with
the customs of the Indians them
selves, persuaded the sufferers to try
the wonders of the sweat cure.
It seemed a good idea to the Indian
mind. If the white medicine man's
prescription was good, the Indian med
icine man's remedy would help it i
out
As a result of this reasoning, hun
dreds of the stricken Indians took the
sweathouse course of treatment and
were fished out of the pool dead as a
result of the sudden disappearance of
the measles.
This plague of death visited on the
tribe was placed to the account of
Dr. Whitman, and he was accused of
having given the Indians poison when
he pretended to give them medicine.
Partly, largely in fact, on this account
the massacre was planned and carried
out. It is a fact, therefore, that the
Indian sweathouse was the indirect
cause of the Whitman massacre.
Father Took Son's Whipping.
The boy had misbehaved, as he
often did, and his father called him to
account.
“Son," said the father, “I hate to !
lick you. but some one must get a j
whipping for what you’ve done."
The boy whimpered a little.
“Suppose,” said the father, “that I
take the whipping for you!"
The boy laughed at the idea, but the j
father took down a dog whip, called a
friend who was visiting at the house,
explained the situation to him and
then requested the visitor to use the
whip on him.
The father wore a long-tailed coat I
and the visitor hit the tails of that j
coat in great style.
At the first crack of that whip the
boy was wild-eyed. At the second he
was clawing, biting and kicking the
man with the whip.
“Don't whip my papa! Don't whip
him!” he cried. “Whip me! Oh,
whip me!”
That was a year ago. Since then
that boy has never done anything seri
ously wrong.
South Africa's Great Men.
Cecil Rhodes and Alfred Beit were
equally undemonstrative. A great
scheme of Rhodes was once collapsing '
when Wernher and Beit came to the
rescue and saved it. Beit for his firm
—Wernher & Beit—took up the obli- ;
gations. Rhodes said simply: 'That's
all right," but the following day, as
Beit and he stood together at the bar
in the Kimberley club, he abruptly
asked the steward for half a dozen
promissory note forms, signed them
in blank and stuffed them into Beit's I
pocket, saying: ‘‘You backed me. If ;
things go wrong, you’ll want mine,
too." In the success the notes were j
forgotten by both and were handed '
back some six months later.
From Sandals to Shoes.
The first foot coverings were sand
als. After these came shoes left open |
at the toes, then the wooden shoes
of the ninth and tenth centuries, fol- j
lowed a little later by shoes with .
long pointed and turned-up toes,
which sometimes reached as high as
the knee. Later a shoe was worn
with an exceedingly wide toe, so very
wide that it impeded the process of
walking. Queen Mary restricted the
wearing of this by proclamations. The
proclamation ran to the effect that
shoes should not be worn wider than
six inches.
_
/
Domestic Bliss.
“Of all my women friends." re
marked the spinster, “I know of only
one who is happily married.”
“Is it possible!” exclaimed the mere
man.
“It is,” replied the spinster. “You
see her husband is a naval officer, and
is away from home two or three years
at a time.”
BETTER THAN UNITED STATES?
Samland. It Is Asserted, Would Mak*
a Good Name.
A certain class of minds has been at
work for more than 100 years trying
to construct an original designation
in a single word for the United States
of America. It was seriously proposed
at first to call the republic Columbia,
but no one wanted that, and finally
New Granada, in South America, came
along and appropriated the title.
Samuel Whelpley, author of the "Com
pend of History,” conducted a cam
paign in behalf of the word ”Fre
donia,” which he considered more
euphonius than Fredomia,” but suc
ceeded only in getting the name at
tached to a village in this state,
whence it has been passed on to post
offlees in a dozen other states of the
union, says the New York Mail. Later
the English kindly attempted to re
christen the country “Usonia ’ and the
people “Usonians,” by derivation from
the magical initials "U. S." But com
mon speech accepts none of these des
ignations. ‘•America” and “Ameri
cans” are good enough for the people,
who see no impropriety whatever in
giving a continental designation to
the republic and its citizens.
But the fact that no original designa
tion has yet pleased the fancy of the
people is no sure sign that none ever
will. The International Mercantile
Marine company has hit upon a name
for one of its ships which has great
popular picturesque possibilities. The
steamer Mississippi of the Red Star
line is to be rechristened Samland, in
honor of Uncle Sam.
And •'Samland" is good. Uncle Sam,
the genial and shrewd abstraction of
the republic, is dear to every heart.
We can imagine "Samland" going
from mouth to mouth until the applica
tion of it is transferred to the nation.
After that Americans of the United
States may be calling themselves Sam
landers and the business will be done.
Cures Bright’s Disease.
Let those afflicted with one form or
another of Bright’s disease take heart!
Here comes from some of the grand
mothers of the middle wTest and
southwest a "sure cure." It was com
monly used three-quarters of a cen
tury ago. Old Dr. Tip passes it along
the line. It comes to him straight
from a granddaughter of one of the
grandmothers, a relation of Mrs.
James G. Blaine: “Get some dried ap
ples, the kind we used to have at
home; not the evaporated kind. Pour
boiling water over a kettleful of them
and let them steep, covering the kettle
tightly. When the water has absorbed
the strength of the apples pour it off
and drink it—lots of it—as much as
you can hold; keep on steeping apples
and keep on drinking the water. It
will soon give you a new pair of kid
neys. Then you can laugh at all other
ailments, which will soon disappear
when your kidneys resume opera
tions."—N. Y. Press.
Don’t Envy the Rich.
The real virtue of riches is that
they add to the picturesqueness of
life. Millionaires and even semi-mil
lionaires do a great deal toward bright
ening the landscape, and we ought not
only to suffer them to live, but to be
grateful to them. Who would will
ingly miss the gay pageant down
Fifth avenue on a spring afternoon,
and reduce the beautiful city with its
glad decoration of well dressed peo
ple to the gray level of the willing
poor? No; the world is best consti
tuted just as it is, with all the varie
ties of the people, and all the varying
scales of being and of dressing. Only
let the man not yet doomed to being
a millionaire realize that, like the pur
ple cow, it is better to see than be one.
And joy, after all, is really and truly
not to be bought with money, nor to
be found in any distant corner of the
earth, but is, in very deed, as the sages
have known in all ages, the kingdom
of heaven within.—Harper's Magazine.
Yellow Beauty Powder Now.
The latest invention of a certain
"beauty doctor" is yellow powder. The
“doctor" learned his little secret from
the fascinating maidens and squaws
of a Canadian Indian settlement. The
powder is not a really golden yellow;
it merely has that rich, creamy brown
tint that is seen in the skins of Indian
girls and some of the duskier maids of
our own race also. It is made by the
simple process of burning a little of
the chalk on a rock set in the sun and
mixing the burnt chalk with the white
until the creamy color is obtained.
"The only trouble in marketing this
new powder." remarked the "doctor."
"is to find any woman sallow or black
enough to acknowledge that she needs
yellow powder. The most bilious look
ing creature I ever knew would rather
make a whited sepulchre of herself
than acknowledge to her own soul that
she is anything but milk and roses.”
Limited Number of Attorneys.
In some old records just discovered
tn a Suffolk parish api>ears the follow
ing entry of a statute passed in 1054,
the second year of the reign of Queen
Mary: “That there used to be six or
eight attorneys only for Suffolk Nor*
folk and Norwich together: that this
number has increased to more than
80. most part of whom, having not suf
ficient knowledge, ccme to fairs, etc.,
inciting the people to small trespasses
that they may get employment, where
fore there shall be hereafter six for
Norfolk, six for Suffolk and two for
the city of Norwich.”
As to Stray Cats.
A man of cats declares it is the
worst of luck for a pet black cat to
forsake your home. A woman of cats
asserts it is the best of luck. In the
middle ages Satan's favorite form was
a black cat. Witches always have a
cat as their familiar, stray black pussy
in preference. If a white cat races
across your yard a child is going to
die. If a stray cat of any color takes
up with you, making your home its
home, you will have good luck.
A Bit Fearful.
"How shall we treat our critics 7*
asked the theatrical manager.
“Well, for gracious sakes! Don't
give them flve-cent cigars!” replied
the leading man..
Diagnosis.
Knieker—My wife says she feela
like an old rag.
Bocker—Then the only cure is to
buy her some new ones.