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About The Loup City northwestern. (Loup City, Neb.) 189?-1917 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 9, 1906)
THE ADVERTISING MAN The Advertising Agent. Advertising Expert, Advertisement Writer, Advertising Manager, and Advertising Solicitor—The Work They Do, and Their Prospects. By f/ATITL C. FOWLED. Jr. Author of “The Boy—How to Help Him Succeed," "Fowler's Cyclopedia of Publicity and Printing," "Practical Publicity." "Dollars and Sense.” "Building Business." "Gumption," Etc. (Copyright, 1906, by N*th’l 0. fc’owler, Jr.) While advertising was born the day following the birthday of business, commercial advertising was not rec ognized as a business necessity, nor as an accomplice with business, until about half a century ago. When 25 years of age advertising was, by common acceptance, taken into business partnership and ac knowledged to be as much a commer cial commodity as flour, or any other manufactured product. Then business acecpted advertising as a commercial investment, and not as a trade-mak ing expense. Before this it had been considered more or less of an experi ment, and invariably as an expense, a sort of business luxury or a side issue. These quarter-of-a-century ago advertisers advertised, or seemed to advertise, under a more or less pro nounced protest, looking upon adver tising as a something which for some unexplained reason they did not dare not to use, but did not want to use, and were not by any means sure of being able to properly utilize. To-day, advertising is a business necessity and a trade commodity, and is so recognized, not as the fifth wheel of business, but as one of the four wheels; and. by many, as one of the two driving wheels. Substantially every North Ameri can publication carries advertising. The total number of copies of these publications issued annually in North America, including dailies, weeklies, monthlies, and all others of regular appearance, may exceed thirty-five hundred millions. Assuming that there are 100 advertisements, a very conservative estimate, in each issue of each publication, there would then be not far from an aggregate of more than three hundred and fifty thousand millions of impressions of advertise ments during a single year. North American progressiveness gives to our country an advertising value proportionately greater than that of any other civilized nation. Probably a multiplication of the fore going figures by four, as well as of the following ones, will not fall short of the statistical truth of the world’s publicity. The 100,000 or more printing of fices in North America are producing advertising matter, in the way of catalogues, circulars and other things, which amounts to a sum not less than that consumed by periodical and newspaper advertising. Enormous Sum Spent. A most conservative and composite estimate shows that the business men of North America expend more than $150,000,000 in newspaper and magazine advertising alone, and un doubtedly a sum equal to this for ad vertising printed matter in the form of circulars, catalogues, posters, fly ers. etc. The grand total of money spent annually for North American advertising, including commercial printing, but exclusive of all books and the product of the press which is not pure advertising, cannot be far from $300,000,000 a year. If my figures are correct, the appli cation of printer's ink annually costs the whole civilized world, including the expense involved in the printing of books and all other matter, whether it be advertising or other literature, and also including lithography, an an nual aggregate of about two thousand millions of dollars. I assume, and this assumption is sustained by many more competent than I am to estimate in the premises, that the world, exclusive of North America, uses somewhat more than three times as much printer’s ink and paper as is consumed by the nations comprising the North American con tinent. Upon this hypothesis, which I believe to be a thoroughly reasona ble one, I present my estimate that the world's use of printer’s ink con sumes an annual expenditure of not far from two thousand millions of dollars. This enormous bulk of advertising, and this tremendous volume of print ed matter, have grown within the last 25 years to occupy a position ful ly 12 times greater than they did only a quarter of a century ago. To rea lize this, let the reader turn to the advertising pages of the magazines for a few years ago and place them side by side with the magazines of to day. Let him compare the size of the daily paper of half a century ago with the big Sunday paper of last week. Let him hold in one hand the book catalogue of 25 years ago, and in the other hand the catalogue of the books published last year. Advertising Pays. Truly, it may be said that the path of progression is paved with adver tising. Twenty-five years ago comparative ly few advertisers expended more than $50,000 a year in advertising, and probably not more than 30 paid out as much as $25,000 annually. To day there are hundreds of advertisers expending each year more than $100,000, and thousands of business concerns annually advertise to the extent of from $25,000 to $50,000. Probably the largest sum of money ever expended by any advertiser in any single year was paid out some years ago by an English soap house. The advertising covered the civil ized world, and was supposed to have cost not far from $2,000,000 annually. In the United States to-day there are a few advertisers expending up wards of half a million dollars a year, and quite a number pay out half of this sum. Nearly 99 per cent, of all publica tions, whether daily or weekly pa pers, or monthly or quarterly maga zines, carry advertising. Few people realize that the advertising, as much as, and more than, the subscription, pays the expenses and makes the nroflt of the periodical publication. and that few of our periodicals could live, and fewer make a profit, if it were not for the income derived from advertising. If it is true, as it is claimed by many, that to the press of the world is due in large measure the progress of civilization, then advertis ing may be considered as one of the main trunk progenitors of the diffus ion of literature and knowledge and of those things which are ttie natural pushers of progress. Advertising men may be divided in to the following classes—the advertis ing solicitor; the advertising agent; the advertising manager, both for the advertiser and the advertising me dium, and the advertisement writer. The advertising solicitor is the most in evidence. As his name implies, he is a solicitor, a drummer, or a sales man of advertising. His work is largely outside; that is, he calls upon those he would have advertise, be cause advertising, barring the classi fied wants in the newspapers, is sel dom bought or sold over the counter. Substantially all of it is obtained by direct or indirect solicitation. Salaries of Solicitors. Newspaper advertising solicitors are usually paid salaries ranging from $1,000 to $6,000 a year, and a few en joy incomes exceeding the larger amount. The average salary, exclus ive of country paper solicitors, is probably not far from $2,000 a year. Solicitors for general periodicals, like the standard magazines, are generally paid salaries, seldom less than $1,500, and from that up to $10,000 a year; the average salary which a first-class periodical pays being not far from $4,000 a year. A high-class advertising man em ployed upon a large newspaper or magazine or other well-known publi cation of general circulation, invaria bly commands a salary of not les3 than $5,000 a year. Soliciting advertising is extremely difficult work, and is considered the hardest kind of solicitation. While to-day advertising is usually recog nized as a business commodity, its position has not yet become sufficient ly established to have determined for it a definite standard of value. It is not as easy for the buyer of advertis ing to decide in advance whether or not certain advertising will pay, as it is for the buyer of flour and fabric to decide beforehand the quality and probable profit of these commodities: consequently the advertising solicitor, while usually not handicaped by the necessity of being obliged to argue the value of advertising, may he seri ously hampered because of this lack of standard of values in buying and selling advertising space. An important class of advertising men is represented by the advertising agent. His name is a misnomer. He is not in any sense an agent, either for the buying or selltng of advertis ing space. He is, in fact, a whole sale dealer in advertising; and, fur ther, he is a solicitor either personally or by proxy. Practically all of the periodicals pay a commission for bus iness which does not come directly to them through their regular solicitors. They give the advertising agent a commission ranging from 10 to 25 per cent, on all the business he brings them, 10 per cent, being the lowest rate of commission paid. 15 per cent the average, and 25 per cent, the maximum. Few publications of a large circulation, however, allow more than 15 per cent., and the leading periodicals seldom give more than 10 per cent. The agent, therefore, in the capaci ty of advertising solicitor either him self or through the men he employs, visits his advertiser and endeavors to sell advertising space. Usually the advertising agent offers space in a cer tain o timber of publications, known as a "list,” for a lump sum, which sum is apt to be less, and sometimes con siderably less, than that which the advertiser would be obliged to pay for the same space if buying it di rectly from the various publications. The advertising agent works in the interest of both parties; in the adver tiser’s, for he saves the advertiser’s money, and also renders certain serv ices in the way of clerical and other work which the advertiser may not so economically perform; and he is of service to the periodical, because he reduces the periodical’s expense of soliciting, simplifies accounts, and brings to it business which the peri odical might not otherwise obtain, and certainly not so easily. Advertising Agencies. There are, in America, a few adver tising agencies doing a business of several millions of dollars a year. These concerns were established years ago, and have built up a sub stantial clientele and are among our strongest mercantile institutions. The rank and file of advertising agents, however, are not financially strong. Many of these agencies were formed by dissatisfied and unsuccessful ad vertising solicitors and managers, who, with a little business for a nu cleus, started in for themselves. More than half of these agents fail, and some of them almost immediately. I would" not advise any young man to become an advertising agent until he had had practical experience with seme of our largest agencies; and until he had either sufficient capital or strong financial backing to protect himself against sudden, and often im possible to avoid, loss. Advertising managers are of two classes, the advertising manager of a newspaper or other periodical and the manager of an advertiser’s advertis ing. The former may or may not be an advertising solicitor. The chances are that he is, and that he personally solicits the business of his largest customers. Many periodicals com bine the office of business manager with that of advertising manager, for the two are closely allied. The ad vertising manager of a great daily paper seldom receives a salary of less than $2,500 a year. Many enjoy in comes of $5,000, and occasionally they are paid somewhat more. The aver age. however, is probably about $3,500 a year. Advertising managers of leading magazines, and of other gen eral publications of standing and of extensive circulation, receive from $2,500 to $5,000 a year, with $15,000 as a maximum, and with an average of about $4,000. This average, how ever, only applies to advertising man agers of the leading periodicals, those of the second class in circulation re ceiving salaries of from 25 to 50 per cent, less than the amounts just men tioned. Advertising Manager. The advertising manager of an ad vertiser’s advertising is in every way different and distinct from the adver tising manager or solicitor of a peri odical, for the former is in no sense a solicitor. He is a buyer of advertis ing space and generally a writer of advertising matter. As a rule, he is as independent as the manager of any other prominent department of a business concern, taking orders only from some member of a firm, some officer, or from the board of directors. It is his business to buy the advertis ing space and the printed matter, and, further, to prepare, or have prepared, the advertisements and advertising matter. He is as much a profession al as a business man, rather more so in point of fact. Business ability alone is not sufficient for the success of an advertiser’s advertising mana ger. He need nave no selling ability whatever. He may not even under stand bookkeeping or the clerical side of business, so long as he knows how to buy advertising, how to write ad vertisements. and how to obtain gen eral publicity. To be successful, and to reach any where near the top, this advertising manager must be a composite man of high grade, with a knowledge of the principles of business and a practical experience in the methods or usages of business; and, further, he must be enough of a writer and have a suffi cient education to give him a com mand of language so that he shall be able to write properly about that which his firm has for sale. Advertising managers of the high est grade receive as much as $20,000 a year, although comparatively few ever enjoy salaries exceeding half this amount. The average salary paid to a first-class man is probably not in excess of $3,000. The advertising managers of large retail stores receive from $1,000 to $10,000 a year, the average salary for the rank and file not exceeding $1,500 a year, and that of the upper grade man being about $3,000 a year. The great department stores in our large cities invariably employ advertising managers, paying them from $2,500 to $10,000 a year, the smaller stores paying salaries ranging from $500 to $2,500. One cannot learn to become an ad vertisement writer. True, the adver tising school or the advertising book may teach the principles of advertise ment writing. So can the school and book impart the principles of law and of medicine; but neither in itself can make an advertisement writer any more than it can make a lawyer or a doctor. Unless one possesses a pa culiar natural ability, advertisement writing offers to him little or no op portunity. The boy who cannot com pose, and compose decently well, or, in other words, cannot properly pre sent himself and his ideas in writ ing, will never make an advertise ment writer, and no amount of study, training and experience will ever give him more than mechanical proSciency. He will never become a writer of real advertisements, advertisements with life in them. The boy who does not observe things, and who cannot carry in bis mind the result of his observa tions, may not hope to became an ad vertisement writer. To Be Successful The most successful writer /'of ad vertisements must have more than the usual power of observation and of concentration; and, further, he must possess the genius of contraction and of condensation, and be able to say much in little. Anyone w'ho has a fair command of language, by the aid of a dictionary, can properly describe things if he ip given unlimited space for the description; bnt the adver tisement writer must say all that it is necessary to say in the fewest possi Se words. He must so describe a ing that the reader will wish to see it, whether or not the reader actually believes the truth of the description. The successful advertisement writer must possess the peculiar power of being able to put upon paper an ac curate and brief description of what he seeks to present to his readers, and this peculiar talent 1* teldom found, and is never the result of any school or any kind of teaching. I would not advise any boy to hope to become an advertisement writer or manager who did not understand, or who was unable to learn, the prin ciples and practice of printing, and who had not, or who was unable to acquire a substantial newspaper ex perience. Without a knowledge of printing, and without the experience of actual newspaper work, one cannot hope to become more than a fair ad vertisement writer. The advertising school has its place and the advertising book is of value, but neither of them alone or together are worth anything to the boy who has not the natural capacity at the start; nor will they be of much use to him unless he combines with them actual practical experience covering printing and newspaper work in gen eral. The mere writer, no matter how proficient or successful he may be, cannot necessarily turn his atten tion to advertisement writing, for the advertisement writer, besides having literary ability, must possess some business capacity. In short, advertising offers much to the competent, something to those of some ability, and nothing to the ia> competent A man who is In society is usually out more than he is in. MODERN SHADES OF MEANING. Words of English Language That Have Improved with Age. Why is a poodle so called? Some one says: “Probably the natural an swer would recall the old lady who said that no credit could be given to Adam for naming the pig, since any body would know what to call it. ‘Poodle’ seems so obvious a name for this dog. And, in fact, this is not far from the truth about the origin of the word. It is quite recent in English, not being found before 1864, apparent ly. It is the German ’pudel,’ which comes from the low German, ‘pudeln,’ to waddle, and the dog must have been so called, as Skeat says, either because he waddles after his master or because he looks fat and clumsy on account of his thick hair.” “Nice” is one of the exceptional words which have risen on the scale and improved with age. It is from the latin “nescius” and originally sig nified ignorant. To Chaucer it reg ularly meant foolish—“wise and noth ing nice.” In Spenser’s time it still meant effeminate. From general fool ishness there was probably first a specialization to foolish fussiness about trifles. Then the idea of ig norance dropped out, and the word meant particular about details, accu rate. It was creditable to be a “nice” observer or to show “nice” judgment. And so in the end the positively agree able meaning of to-day was evolved. “Sculls” and “skulls” are one word GRAND EXALTED RULER OF ELKS. Henry A. Melvin, of Oakland, Cal., who was elected exalted ruler of the Elks at the Denver convention, is county judge of Alameda county. Cal. He was for some years chief deputy district attorney and served as deputy attorney general. in origin, and both at various times have been spelled capriciously with a “c” or a “k." Pepvs, the diarist, tells how he went on the Thames at one time “in a scull," at another in a “skuller." The origin of the word is “skulle,” or “sculle,” a bowl or goblet. While the cranium was ob viously bowl-like in shape, a distant re semblance to a bowl was also detect ed in the scooped-out blade of a “scull,” as opposed to the Hat blade of our propeller. They Dread Ridicule. According to a missionary, the Jap anese are so sensitive to ridicule that one reason why children are so sel dom punished for faults is that they can be so easily laughed out of them. The fear of riricule, in fact, accord ing to the authority has had no small part in forming the Japanese charac ter, promoting the national zeal for efficiency, and the minute attention to clothing, manners and speech. At a Japanese school the children were once asked what they consid ered the most dreadful thing in the world. All sorts of answers were given—murder, ingratitude, earth quakes. and so forth—but the teacher said that in his opinion the worst thing of all was to be laughed at. SEEK NORTH POL1 With the exception of the originator of the expedition, the above are the chief figures of the Wellman exploration party. Henry B. Hersey is the representative of the United States government. aj. GAMBLING AS RELIGIOUS DUTY. Hindoos Devote One Day in Year to This Pastime. A missionary lay beside a camp fire of birch logs in the Maine woods, smoking a black cigar and watching his guide grill trout. “Speaking of gambling,” the mis sionary said, “I know of a sect that regards it as a religious duty, like fasting or prayer. “This sect is the Hindoos. They, one day in each year, gamble like mad SPLITTING GRANITE WITH AIR. Force Will Separate Horizontal Sheet of Several Acres. The explosive force of compressed air is employed in a very interest ing way by a North Caroline granite company. On a sloping hillside, com posed of granite which shows no bed planes, but splits readily in any di rection when started, a three-inch bore is sunk about eight feet deep, and the bottom is enlarged by exploding half a stick of dynamite. A small charge of powder is fired in this hole, which starts a horizontal crack or cleavage. Charges increas ing in size are exploded until the cleavage has extended over a radius of 75 or 100 feet. Then a pipe is cemented into the bore, and air is forced in, under a presure of from 80 to 100 pounds. The expansion of the air extends the cleavage until it comes out at the surface on the slope of the hill. A horizontal sheet of granite several acres in extent may thus be separated.—Youth's Compan ion. GREEKS A RACE OF SAILORS. Formidable Competitors of British for Danube Trade. While much public interest has been shown in the recent celebra tions of Roumanian independence and the revival of the Olympic games, no attention seems to have been paid to a development, which, curiously enough, Jinks the two countries. It has been left to the British vice con sul at Sulina to point out that the Greeks are the most formidable com petitors of the British in the impor tant shipping trade of the Danube “The Greeks,” he sa^'s, in a passage which will be interesting to all pro Hellenes, “are a race of sailors, and if one were to visit every port in the Mediterranean and Black seas, be ginning at Gibraltar, and making the entire circle back to Tangier, one would find very few places where the Greek language did not predominate at the quay-side.” Last December 32 modern Greek argosies sailed from the Danube, as compared with 45 be longing to the United Kingdom. The irony of the vice consul's stor’* >s to be found in the fact that many of the Greeks bought their ships by means of profits derived as chandlers or run ners for British vessels. Cairo’s Many Gates. In the walls of Cairo the present Egyptian capital, erected under the Fatimit-Khalifs a thousand years ago, there were originally 60 gates. Of these, many remain to this day, re sembling, in their general construc tion, the ancient Roman gateways. : WITH WELLMAN. T&lXTtZZZHZ *sjzrm: from sunrise till sunset. The day is the Festival of the Lamps, a day sacred to Lakshun, the goddess of wealtn. A tremendous lot of money changes hands in Laashun's Honor. "All this gambling is done to test the financial success that will at tend on each person throughout the year. If a gambler loses he knows a year of hard luck is ahead of him. If he wins, he knows he may expect a twelvemonth of prosperity. “Strange to 3ay, a good deal of cheating accompanies this religious gambling.’' GOOD DESERT LAW~ RIGHT OF “SQUARE” MAN TO KILL UNFAIR PARTNER. Authority Lays Down Rule and Backs It with Good Argument—Pros pector’s Calling Admittedly a “Tough Game.” It was in the camp of Bullfrog that Mitchell, the big, brick-red mining man of Nevada, told his view of law on the desert: “If you are prospecting with an un reasonable hog of a partner who wants to eat three slices of bacon and half a loaf of bread for breakfast and lets the canteen gurgle down his throat, while you get along with a strip of bacon and just moisten your lips when you take a drink, then you're all right if you kill him. I’d kill him if there wasn’t anything else to do. It’s a tough game and it's your life or his when you're lost or your grub stake and water are giving out.” These observations were suggested by the arrival in camp two days be; fore of the bones of a prospector who had died of thirst some 40 miles from Bullfrog during the previous summer. He had been a carpenter, earning wages of eight dollars a day in the new camps during the “boom,” but the gold fever led him away from this safe and profitable toil. He picked up a partner, they loaded their burros and trailed off south toward the Death valley country to prospect in the Funeral range. Three weeks after the desert swal lowed them up the partner wandered into a freighters' camp half crazed with thirst and exhaustion. He was able to tell the freighters that the carpenter was somewhere out beyond, lost and withou1: water, too helpless to move. The partner was too weak and fevered to go back with the res cue party of freighters, so they left him in camp. He directed them as well as he could, but the search was bootless and Griffin, the carpenter of Bullfrog, was added to the long list of desert victims. Several months later a party of prospectors tumbled by chance across what was left of him. There was no traces of his out fit; he had thrown away his gun, his canteen and his hat. One shoe was found 30 feet from his body and he had torn off and flung away most of his clothing. These were the ghastly evidences of the last great fight he had made to struggle on. “When they’re dying for water,” said Mitchell, who knew the “desert game,” “they throw away everything until all their clothes are gone and you generally find them without a stitch on.”—Outing. How to Reduce Your Flesh. To Increase the lung capacity is the first step in the reduction of flesh. For this purpose running is. I think, superior to any other exercise. Box ing and hand ball are also excellent for the ‘‘wind." And these exercises will do more than increase the respiratory organs: they will greatly stimulate the circulation as well as all the secretory and excretory processes. What leg exercise will not do, how ever, to any great extent, is oxidize the soft tissues of the trunk and arms. True, by stimulating the or gans of elimination and by increasing lung capacity, leg exercises will oxidize upper tissues somewhat; but when fat is not replaced by muscle, it has a strong tendency to reform. A bad effect of leg exercises exclusively is that they draw a major part of the blood, rich in oxygen, to the lower limbs; whereas, if vigorous arm and trunk exercises were executed, be sides the leg exercises, much blood would be attracted also to the upper parts which would then be oxidized to the best advantage, their lost fat being, at the same time, replaced by solid tissue, and hence having little tendency to reform. Running, there fore, splendid exercise though it is. should be supplemented by “upper" exercises. By vigorous upper exer cises I do not mean calisthenics nor any kind of so-called light exercises; I mean reasonably hard work.—Out ing Magazine. Shock for Love’s Young Dream. The interesting young couple board ed the car. On the third finger of the girl’s left hand appeared an obvi ously new gold band. The man was apparently In the worst stage of the disease. Oblivious to the hard, un feeling world, they carried on an au dible conversation of the tootsy wootsy kind. The stout man sitting opposite was clearly disgusted. He snorted his disapproval and endeav ored to transfix the lovers with a fe rocious stare. At last his feelings passed the stage when they could be expressed by a snort. Turning to the meek, washed-out little woman who sat beside him he inquired in a voice that sounded like the bellow of a bull with a sore throat; “And will my darling pop^y-wopsy always have her lovey-Iovey’s dinner ready for him when he comes home in the evening?-’ The bride and bridegroom sudden ly brought back to this most censor oius world, came down from the celes tial regions with a thud. Love’s young dream had received another hard knock. Belief in Wandering Elves. Piskies, pixies, or pigseys, are a tribe of elves peculiar to old Cornwall, England, a territory once extending to the eastern edge of Dartmoor, which is still included in the duchy. They are not elemental spirits, but in material life were those of the Celtic tribes who refused to give up their ancient religion for Christianity, but otherwise lived blameless; hence their sympathy with humanity. Not good enough for heaven, nor bad enough for hell, their wandering souls were permitted to remain on earth, haunting their own familiar moor lands, wooded coombes and waste sea beaches. Singer Beer. Pour a gallon of boiling water on one pound of loaf sugar, half an ounce of ginger, and one ounce of cream of tartar. When nearly cold add a table spoonful of yeast. Strain, bottle, and in six hours it will be ready for use. If root ginger is used, boil it in the water for 20 minutes. STORY LACKS USUAL ENDING. Thoughtful Man’s Visitant May Have Been Ghost, and Then Again— “Ghosts!” said the skeptic, con temptuously. “Pooh! no sensible man believes in such nonsense nowadays.” “Well,” said the thoughtful man, slowly, “I don't know. Curious things do happen occasionally. There was a man who lived beside me who used to scoff at me because I professed a slight interest in visitations from the other world. He told me one day that if he happened to die before me and found that there was anything in the ghost theory he would come back and notify me. Brown was his name, a sort of general disbeliever in everything save his own Importance. “A couple of months ago,” continued: the thoughtful man, “I was sitting in, my study reading. It was about 12 o’clock at night and everyone had gone to bed except myself. I was sud denly aroused by a loud clanking noise accompanied by a dismal wail ing. After awhile it was repeated. I got my gun and started to investi gate. I made a thorough search, bur could find nothing. The watchman happened to be passing by and I called him, but everything seemed quiet. None of the folk in bed had been aroused, so at last 1 gave it up and went to bed, feeling, I confess, a lit tle uneasy. “Next morning when we were at breakfast Markham called in and told me Brown had died suddenly in the night.” “Oh!” exclaimed the skeptic, “his ghost had remembered hi-3 promise and come round to wail out his re pentance at his former unbelief.” “Well," said the thoughtful man “that might have been so, only it: turned out later that our cat had broken its leg and got tangled up in the hot w-ater pipes in such a way that she was strangled.” _H__ HE KNEW FEMININE NATURE. Amateur Theatrical Director Hit on Just the Right Thing. “Now,” said the director of the ama teur theatrical company to the girl who had the stellar role, “in this scene you must show the greatest anx iety and concern. You must be worried and nervous, and on the verge, apparently, of prostration. Act as though your lover were possibly lost at sea—that is the situation we portray in this scene.” She acts as near that way as she can, but the director is not satisfied. “No, no,” he says, stopping her. “Try to imagine how you would feel if some one near and dear to you were lost.” She tried the act that way, but with no better success. The director is about to give up and let her go through the scene in her own way, when an inspiration strikes him. “Here!” he exclaims. “Act as you would if your Easter bonnet were not going to be delivered in time for you to wear it to church.” When the play was produced, it was said that the heroine's rendition of this scene was one of the finest bits of acting ever witnessed. Wouldn’t Prejudice His Case. Former Senator John M. Thurston, of Nebraska, who was representing the defense in a recent trial in one of the local courts, arose the other day to reply to argument of counsel for the government on a point of law. In deliberate and impressive man ner the attorney began a forceful presentation to the court. Before he had fairly launched his counter at tack, however, he was interrupted by the presiding justice, who said that he was about to decide the question in favor of Senator Thurston. “In that case," remarked Mr. Thur ston, resuming his seat at once. “I will make no speech to the court for fear of changing your honor's opin ion.”—W&shington Star. Her Quest. “Speaking of Irish bulls," remarked Clerk Brownell, “my wife had a fun* ny introduction to one last evening. She was standing on our front door step, when a woman with a shawl pulled over her head came hesitating ly along the sidewalk. Seeing my wife, the woman paused and said: “ ‘Pardon me, but are you acquaint ed in this neighborhood?’ “ ‘I am. What can I do for you?’ replied Mrs. Brownell. “ ‘Can you tell me where Mr. Mc Cloud lives? I understand he just died, poor fellow.’ San Francisco Chronicle. Danish English. The following amusing advertise ment is copied verbatim from a Dan ish paper: “The hotels charmingly situation, surrounded of a nice gar den the good cuisine, the kindly ac commodation with moderate charge and good conveyances with easy oc casion for salmon and trout fishing, the ascending of the surrounding mountains has done this place well known and praised of all travelers. N. B.—The landlord is spoken Eng lish very good.” Bringing Husband to Time. The colonial wife is not to be tri fled with. When her husband goe3 “up country” and neglects to return within a fair and reasonable time, she simply advertises for him. Here is a recent advertisement from an Australian paper: “If my husband, A. B., does not answer this advertise ment in three weeks, I intend to get married. Signed C. D.”—Royal Maga zine. Restful. Gasser—I noticed your friend Knox at my lecture last night. Kandor—Yes. and he enjoyed him self immensely. Gasser—Yes, I noticed he stayed until the end; he didn’t get tired at all. Kandor—No, he told me he was in a part of the hall where he couldn't hear at all. An Oregon Catastrophe. P. E. Colbern, of this city, has a refractory hen, and the other day when he went to take egs from the nest the hen actually rose up in wrath and kicked him on the hand. The hand became seriously swollen, and the prompt attention of a physician prevented a case of blood poison. Athena Press.