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... Br CHARLES MORRIS BUTLER.
fTufAor of "7Ze /?erfvj0v of f)t*nre~yf 7e/*e/nefr/ 7hap*ffc.
Copyright, 1905, by Charles Morris Butler.
CHAPTER XV.
Lang Rescues a “Hunted Man.”
TLe emigrants crossed the borders
Into the “Convict Country” early in
the morning. At about noon they
came upon what at first sight looked
like an old-time palisaded farm house
and barn, surrounded by a high fence
of logs driven into the ground. The
house was formed of logs, two stories
high, and fitted with shutters of un
hewn oa.:. which could be drawn over
the windows when necessary. The
whole building was protected from
view by a magnificent growth of large
trees and an artificial curtain of vines
growing on frames which trained
them to run from limb to limb of the
trees.
Golden told Lang that this was one
of many outposts which formed the
defense of the city in the interior.
It was defended by three male and
three female residents and six import
ed Siberian bloodhounds—a formid
able company. The party was ex
pected, because the gates were open,
and in the main room of the block
house were set out a homely but sub
stantial meal ready to be eaten, and
In the center of the table was a huge
jug of whisky surrounded by numer
ous goblets and cups for drinking pur
poses.
“Have somet’n’,” was the greeting
of an old man who stood in the door
way, and with the invitation the party
after tending to the wants of the ani
mals, took themselves into the nouse.
After partaking of several rounds of
liquid refreshments and a meal of
solid food, before the train moved on
again. Lang. Golden and Johnson, the
proprietor of the post, withdrew to a
secluded spot not far from the ^ouse,
for a little private conversation.
As a starter Golden said, by way of
preliminary to what he really wanted
to say: “Johnson, I haven’t seen you
for an age. nor Paradise, either;
what’s going on in the city?”
All right, old man, we understand
one another then.”
The schooners being ready, tne
word was now given to moA ~
women were exchanged
knowing ones for two who were q^uite
ignorant.
Paradise, the city of the convicts
was now but one day’s journey away.
By hard driving the city would be
reached by right.
For a long time they had been trav
eling through a dense thicket, in
single file, Bronco George and Bowie
Bill leading the May. The schooners
strung out behind with Golden, Lang
Limpy Jim and Pete bringing up the
rear.
The distant baying of hounds broke
upon the stillness of the forest. Lang
peering through the thicket to one
• side, saw a man runEing through the
bush. His clothes M’ere torn from con
tact M-ith the underbrush; he was
eoatless and hatless.
“Some poor devil trying to escape,
said Louis to Golden, readily compre
hending the meaning. “He M'ill be
torn to pieces!”
It took the impulsive Louis but a
moment to turn his bronco around
and M-ith a savage dig into the ribs of
the animal, dashed after the fleeing
man. There Mas a sharp race for a
moment, and then Louis got close
enough to cry, “Halt! you will be
torn to pieces by the hounds! Halt,
and I will save you!” But the man
did rot pause in his mad race; M'here
he was going, or how he expected tc
escape was a conundrum to ixmis:
but he followed closely behind him.
The baying of the dogs became louder.
They Mere rapidly gaining on the
fugitive. “Halt!” again called Louis,
as he dreM- his revolver from his belt.
“You foolish man, don’t you hear the
dogs? Turn M-ith me and come back
to the train. I will save you!”
The man halted. He could scarce
do anything else; he Mas exhausted
and ready to drop in his tracks.
The man-killing Deasts had now completely encircled our imprisoned friends.
“Nothing!” was the non-committal
, reply oi the backwoodsman. He ap
peared not to desire to speak before
Lang.
Golden interpreted Johnson’s feel
ings aright, “Johnson, this is Louis
I^ang,” Golden said, by way of ex
planation. “He killed a man in New
York, he also robbed the Madison
bank of ten thousand dollars belong
ing to Jim Denver, the detective. He
is a friend of mine, and has shown
himself a man by killing an Indian
2hief in a hand to hamPfight, and sav
<ed me from the assassin’s knife dur
ing the journey out. You can trust
him, you know what that means:
- Johnson gazed at Lang with differ
ent eyes than before and shook mn
by the hand most heartily. “I .am
glad to know you.” he said, quite iree
Jy. “Well, then. King Schiller passed
through here yesterday with two cap
tives. iou remember Schiller’s oath,
don’t you; how he swore to be even
with the man who had nim sent up?
Well, he has him and his daughter ,n
limbo now—a Dr. Huntington
name, and to my mind a very renned
man. As to the girl, she’s a peacu.
but I’m afraid Schiller will break her
heart.”
“What I wanted to say to you. John
son, in bringing you here was to ask
a favor of you. It may be necessary
for Lang here, or even myself, and
possibly a posse to leave Paradise m
the near future. *Will you have a
relay for us, according to our old
agreement?”
“Yes, but how am I to know wheth
er I strike the right party or not?
I might make a mistake and let the
wrong party through. I will keep my
pledge to you, Golden, but you must
be true; no traitors, you understanu.
I am a friend of yours, but I can’t take
too many risks for nothing. See?”
“You know me wrell enough, John
son,” replied Golden, “to know that I
would not abuse the privilege, and
that in no case but one of life and
death to me would I ask it. When I
do each of will be furnished with
the countersign we now agree upon,
and our special mode of recognition.
I know you will do this for me. John
son. and I want you to promise to do
it for Lang. I owe him my life, and 1
f want him free to act for me and mine.
By the way, I saw your wife. She
asked me to ask you to come home
Sot a visit on the 23rd of December,
because Millie (she is a lovely girl)
is going to marry John Edwards!”
Johnson had deserted his wife. He
was not a scoundrel exactly, but one
wno loved idleness and drink. His
married life had notvbeen a happy one,
* but he thought a great deal of his
daughter, Millie. This last remark of
Golden touched Johnson in a tender
spot.
“If you come back this way soon
I will pull up stakes with you and
we will make the trip together.”
•
Louis ntanaged to draw him up De
hind him on the horse. Turning, Louis
was just in time to see the train dis
appearing from view, as he thought,
into the very base of one of the moun
tains. A lit pine knot swinging from
a tree over the roadway showed fully
a mile away.
The train men thought Louis wTould
be torn to pieces, or hoped he would,
anyway. Whether he escaped or not
was of little consequence to them, feel
ing that if he did escape it would
be but to run his neck into the noose
for lending a helping hand to some
one who was trying to escape, so they
drove on, leaving him to his fate.
"Why were you attempting to es
cape?” asked Lang, as the two start
ed on the back trail.
"I have been sentenced to death for
attempting to release a prisoner just
brought in, and made my escape by
scaling the walls of the city! \ou
will get yourself into trouble by sav
ing me—you will have to share my
fate. Don’t you hear the dogs? They
will tear you to pieces.”
Lang was armed with a repeating
rifle and twro revolvers. "Take the
gun from my back,” said Louis coolly.
“Never say die! Shoot to kill when
you do shoot. Don’t kill the keeper
unless you have to in order to save
your own life—and leave the future
to me!”
Up to this time no keeper had appear
ed. Louis had had hopes of saving
the escaping man without bloodshed
—this could hardly be done, he now
realized, because the sound of the gal
loping horse had attracted the hounds
and they were swiftly closing in on
the fugitives Hearing a sound off to
the right like that made by a human
running through the bush, Louis call
ed out:
“Hello, you keeper of the dogs!
Call them off!”
No answering shout came from the
keeper. The hounds could plainly be
seen from behind now, their eyes
shining like huge lumps of living
coals. The noise made by the gallop
ing horse could not drown the noise
made by the hounds, whose breath
came in hoarse snarls and pants.
The train by this time had entered
the city and no one, not even Golden,
appeared in sight. A gust of wind
had blown out the torch left by Gold
en, and the darkness now became in
tensified. Lang saw there was but one
way to escape alive. “Shoot to kill,
friend,” said Louis calmly. “Make
every shot count!”
The fugitive seems to have recover
ed his wits, for turning in the saddle,
he fired into the ranks of the pursuing
dogs. The poor horse, loaded with his
double burden, and exhausted by his
long journey, could not long keep up
the killing pace. He was panting with
exertion and staggered blindly. If the
horse should fall the dogs would be
uDon them. Both riders thought of
this new danger at the same time,
for each straightened up and Lang
freed his feet from the stirrups.
The expected came! The liOrse
stumbled and fell! Lang and the man
he was trying to save seemed to be
miraculously protected, for they fell
upon their feet uninjured. Now that
the fugitives were somewhat accus
tomed to the gloom, they could see
quite plainly.
“Back to back!” cried Lang, “And
shoot to kill!” Both men now were
as cool as two brave men can be
when facing death.
On came the dogs; foam falling
from their extended jaws. Being close
behind' the fallen horse, the man
killing beasts had swerved sidewrise
and now completely encircled our im
prisoned friends. The two men fired
in rapid succession at the glowing orbs
of the beasts, and they had the satis
faction to see at least two bite the
dust.
Before the other dogs reached them
up thundered a horseman from out of
the darkness. “Dowm, dogs!” the
newcomer thundered in a voice of
command, cracking a great black
whip, which made a report like the
discharge of a revolver. The beasts
recognized their master, and obeyed,
but lay ready to spring.
“Load up!’ whispered Lang, as he
slipped a few cartridges into his re
volver and placed the man’s hand
upon his cartridge belt, so that he,
too. could reload.
“Who are you?” cried the new
comer. As he spoke one of the hounds
gave a long drawn out “death howl,”
which is always the forerunner of the
death of a human being. Lang and
the man at his back pressed closer
together and straightened themselves
up to resist a second charge.
Down the road from the direction of
the city could be seen Golden on
horseback, madly galloping toward
them, waving a pine torch in his
hands.
“I am a candidate on the way to
the city!” said Lang answering the
keeper's query
"I am Wilson,” quietly said Lang's
companion.
“Call off your dogs!” said Louis
calmly.
"Don’t you know that you have for
feited your life by helping this man
to escape?” the keeper asked of Lang.
“I am saving him from the dogs—
not from justice.” replied Lang.
The keeper's face took on a demonia
cal expression; he raised his huge
whip and brought the lash down upon
the haunches of the nearest dog.
“Then save him!” crted the brutal
man.
With howls of rage and pain the
dogs bounded into the air to spring
upon their prey.
(To be continued.)
COLLIE RECOVERS THE CAT
Takes a Long Journey to Find the
Friend of His Youth.
A family living in Vermont removed
from their long-time residence to an
other village, some forty miles away.
They took with them a Scotch collie
of unusual intelligence, but left behind
the family cat. The collie and the
cat had been warm friends for several
years and had fought each other’s bat
tles with courage and impartiality.
After the family reached their new
home the collie was evidently lone
some. One evening as the family
was gathered about the open fire
some remarks were made about this
and the man of the house, patting the i
collie on the head, said: “I am sorry
that we did not bring George with us.
You miss your old playmate, don’t
you?” The next morning the collie
had disappeared. Three days after
ward he came into the yard in a
state of great enjoyment, indicated it
the usual dog w-ay, followed by George,
the cat. Both seemed somew-hat ex
cited, and the collie showed marks
of battle. Each seemed greatly de
lighted in the company of the other,
and the old-time status quo w-as at
once resumed.
Out of curiosity inquiry was made
by the family, both at their old resi
dence and along the line of the main
highway between the two places,
which developed the fact that the dbg
appeared at the old home, very de
liberately and very distinctly induced
the cat to start on the journey with
him and had protected him en route,
with a clash of arms for nearly every
mile.
Of course, the question arose as to
the language by which he told George
his wants and what inducements were
offered to go with him on the haz
ardous journey.
GROWING JET BLACK ROSES.
Englishman Discovers the Secret Long
Sought by Florists.
Florists in New York were greatly
Interested to-day in the announcement
that an Englishman has discovered
how to grow jet black roses, a feat
which has been vainly attempted for
many years. If a dozen of them could
be offered for sale to-day in the city
leading florists agreed that there
would be no difficulty in obtaining
$1,000 for the bunch.
On a few estates along the Rhine
practically black roses have been
growrn for the last ten years, but all
efforts to eliminate a redish tint in the
center of the bud have so far failed.
No secret has been more closely
guarded by the German gardeners
than this one of developing even a
comparatively black flower. Visitors
are allowed to look at the bushes and
buds on special occasions, but what
ingredient has been put into the soil
to bring about the abnormal color has
not been told even to close friends.
In California a specialist has also
been partly successful in producing
roses practically black, but, according
to announcement in London, it remain
ed for a peddler of shoelaces to at
tain perfection. It was said to-day by
New York florists that undoubtedly
the color is the result of a chemical
introduced in the soil.
The same principle, however, is said
to be 5nvolved as in the (jevelopment
of blue hydrangeas, wHich are pro
duced by putting iron into the soil in
which the plants are grown.
The black blossoms would be most
popular as indications of mourning,
but it was agreed by florists that the
day is yet distant when any one of thr
freaks will be seen in their windows.
—Baltimore Sun.
PICTURES OF ADMIRAL JOHN PAUL
JONES ARE MANY AND VARIED
i
* —■———————————— — "
He who desires to confirm his opin
ion of John Paul Jones. America’s
distinguished naval commander, can
do so in the library of the Navy de
partment at Washington, be that opin
ion unfavorable or favorable to the
great sea captain. In a score of old
prints gathered during past decades
from various sources John Paul Jones
is depicted as a bloodthirsty pirate,
which was the view taken of him by
the British, whose coasts he scoured
in the gallant Ranger; as a bluff sea
captain, which is the opinion most
schoolboys have gained from reading
the account of his plucky victory over
the Serapis, and as the cultured gen
tleman and accomplished naval officer,
which is the opinion held of him by
practically the entire American naval
service to-day.
Mr. Charles W. Stewart, superin
tendent of the Naval War Records Of
fice and Library, has arranged these
old prints in a highly interesting col
lection. Many of them purport to be
engravings from pictures made during
the lifetime of Jones. All that is
of John Paul Jones, which is now
much prized in the collection of the
Navy department. It potrays a bluff
sea captain type, far removed from
either conception that he was a des
perate buccaneer or a naval dandy.
The figure is that of a man probably
forty-five years old, which is some
what further advanced in age than
Jones was at the time he commanded
the Bon Homme Richard, attired in
seafaring dress, including, wide, loose,
flowing trousers. He rests the point
of a cutlass upon the rail of the ship,
and the legend under this picture tells
us that it is “Capt. Paul Jones, from
an original drawing taken from the
life, on board the Serapis, published
London, Oct. 22, 1779.” The date is
less than a month after he captured
the Serapis, and if it was really drawn
on that ship may be considered possi
bly an accurate portrayal of the great
American naval commander in the
hour of his greatest victory.
The picture in which John Paul
Jones is shown boarding the Serapis
from his own victorious but riddled
PAUL o
JONES ° _ :h4ptian
fCET/SAE2? a^C?yy<Z&£Z7
known of the man confirms the opin
ion that, not unlike some fighting men
of his day and since, John Paul Jones
was something of a dandy. Certainly
he was a favorite in Paris in that cir
cle of imperial society which gave fre
quent employment to artists and sculp
tors. That the skull of the body re
covered from an abandoned grave
yard in Paris, by Gen. Horace Porter,
American ambassador to France, cor
responded to the precise measure
ments of Houdin's bust of John Paul
Jones was accepted as the final proof
of identification. Houdin was an ex
ceptionally painstaking sculptor and
a copy of his bust of Jones which
stands in the office of the Secretary
of the Navy at Washington is consid
ered most probably a true likeness.
One of the best pictures in the col
lection is an engraving by Carl Gutten
burg from a drawing by C. J. Notte,
a French artist. This rather reflects
the favorable opinion which the
French had of Commodore Jones, for
it depicts a fairly young but deter
mined looking officer, standing behind
the shot-riddled rail of the Bon
Homme Richard, with a sword swing
ing easily in his right hand, while his
left rests upon the butt of one of
half a dozen pistols in his belt. The
legend of this picture says:
“John Paul Jones, Commodore in
the Service of the United States of
America, as he appeared in the en
gagement of the twenty-third of Sep
tember, 1779, against Commodore
Pearson. His vessel mounted forty
guns. The English ship Serapis, for
, ty-five guns, had, moreover, the ad
vantage in caliber and range. Com
modore P. Jones entangled his ship
with the bowsprit of the enemy and
continued the engagement side by side
for two hours and three-quarters. The
action lasted three hours and and one
quarter. The Bon Homme Richard
sank the next day.”
“Tom” Ochiltree, of mellow mem
ory, during one of his sojourns in
Paris, in 1883, picked up an old print
and sinking Bon Homme Richard is j
thoroughly heroic conception, but th [
features and figure of the victor bes
little resemblance to other portrait
and drawings. This picture, whic
is by A. L. Stephens, is somewha
more recent than most of the item
in the collection.
Chappel's original painting of Jone
has often been called the George
Washington picture because of the re
semblance of it to a well known por
trait of the Father of his Country,
whom Jones, incidentally, knew well,
they both having lived in Virginia.
In this picture Jones is standing in
a dignified pose, his left hand slight
ly outstretched from the body and
clasping a telescope.
And row turning over the pictures
in this collection is found a most
startling creation in boldest black and
white. “Paul Jones, the Pirate,” is
the legend, but it is unnecessary, for
the dashing, bearded figure wears a
uniform emblazoned with skull and
crossbones. A gory cutlass in one
hand, a smoking pistol in the other,
he is the incarnation of all that is
demoniac in fancies of piracy, while
the idea is helped out by portrayal in
the background of his men ruthlessly
cutting down the brave tars of Old
England. This picture is an engraving
published by A. Park, of London, and
is apparently very old, as is another
old English print, apparently only a
trial proof copy. It shows Jones with
demure side whiskers and immense
hat of the style later affected by Na
poleon, with tassels pendent from each
side. The crowning glory of this uni
form is a pair of striped trousers,
which give a sort of Uncle Sam at
mosphere.
A head and shoulders engraving
also from an unknown source, shows
Jones as a mild and sedate appearing
man, with white hair (or is it a white
wig?), who, one would think, might
pass for a substitute merchant In the
colonies.
---
Very old and deemed very good by
students of John Paul Jones lore is
an engraving from a drawing by Va
rin, a French artist. This shows in
Jones’ countenance something of the
shrewdness and humor he inherited
from his Scotch ancestry. It is a
quizzical but the same time a pleas
ing countenance.
With curly hair and chubby face
Chapman endowed his portrait of
Jones, which was engraved by act of
Congress.
Of the thousands in the British
Isles who thought harshly of Jones,
Lord and Lady Selkirk, whose country
seat still stands at Dumfries, Scotland,
were about the only persons of qual
ity and discernment who came in
touch with the American naval com
mander. It was on April 23. 1778,
that the American privateer Ranger
put into St. Mary’s isle and sent an
armed party to surround the house oi
the Selkirks, demand their plate and
capture Lord Selkirk if possible. He
was not at home, so the party took
the plate.
When Jones arrived later at Brest
he wrote to Lady Selkirk that he de
sired to return the plate. He pro
posed not only to restore his share
of the prize, but to purchase the share
owned by his crew for the purpose oi
giving it back to the Selkirks. Lord
and Lady Selkirk were much surprised
to get this Jetter, which regretted the
fortune which caused him to make ar
expedition against their home. Loro
Selkirk wrote a reply, but not know
ing how to get it to Jones, sought the
counsel of Lord de Spencer, postmast
er general of England.
Lord de Spencer was evidently not
much impressed by the favorable
tendency of the Selkirks towan
Jones, for he returned the letter te
Lord Selkirk with the remark:
“I cannot help doubting, in the sit
nation I am in, the propriety of mj
forwarding a letter to such a rasca
and rebel as this Jones. A letter di
rected to him, of course, must be
opened at the postoffice.”
The foregoing extracts from letters
&±ul jones -.f&yr a7w&v&ar ■
-z&a&arr'
copies of w hich were recently obtained
for the navy department by the Amer
ican embassy at London, shows the
view taken of Jones by nearly all the
people of England, but it also shows
that the persons with whom he came
in contact were disposed to recognize
the virtues which he possessed and
to acknowledge the finer sensibilities
of his character. It would undoubt
edly have been a great pleasure to
Jones, who knew the bitterness of feel
ing against him in England, to have
received the letter which Lord Sel
kirk wrote, but which Lord de Spen
cer prevented from reaching its des
tination.—New York Herald.
Little Angle
For some considerable time the pa
tient schoolteacher had been endeav
oring to explain the meaning of the
word angle to the infant class.
Towards the finish of her effort she
pointed to a corner of the room.
“There,” she said, “that corner,
children, forms an angle. Now can
can any scholar tell me what an
angle is?£
Little Doris Tresser’s hand went
up.
“Please, teacher,” she said, “an
angle is a place to put bad boys in.”
Abandon* His Title.
Reginald Ward, American million
aire, society man, friend of King Ed
ward and once a Boston broker, has
abandoned his title of “count” con
ferred upon him by Pope Leo XIII., on
account of adverse criticism.
Superstitions.
She was a little excited as she
threw the clock at him. His equa
nimity was not marked, as he re
sponded with a vase. They fell into
each other’s arms and rolled grace-,
fully over the carpet, clinching and
hitting in the breakaway. The end of
the round found him sitting on pthe
floor, dazed by the gentle patter of a
potato masher on his head. Having a
mind to continue the pleasantries,
she seized the table cloth and scat
tered broadcast the articles thereon.
“Heavens!” he exclaimed. “Now,
see what you’ve done!”
“How careless of me!” She was
very regretful.
And apprehensively they looked at
the salt that she had" spilled.
They believed in the sign. They
feared there would be trouble in the
house.
A Dental Treasure Trove.
"1 know where I could go, right here
in this country, and dig up millions
of dollars’ worth ot. treasure,” said a
dentist.
“Where would I go? To our ceme
teries. To the mouths of our dead.
In the teeth of our dead enough gold
is going to waste to enrich a small
town.
“You have in your teeth $10 in gold.
Your sister has $5. Your father and
mother have each $7. And there are
90,000,000 people in America.
“Allow to each person’s teeth a half
dollar’s worth of gold. You have then
$45,000,000 hidden in our mouths.
When we die this gold won’t be ex
tracted. It will be buried with us.
“To take the gold from the teeth of
the dead before burial would be neith
er difficult nor grewsome. It would
be a good idea to pass a law requiring
all this gold, which does no good in
the grave, to be removed after death
and distributed in charity.”
Want Coins Up to Date.
Of late a number of natives of
West Africa have practically refused
to accept any other coin than that
having the profile of King Edward en
graved upon it. They ha^e an idea
that now that Queen Victoria is dead
the British government may repudi
ate coins bearing her image.
Tallest Californian Dead.
Noted for stature, bigness of heart,
and stability of character, Andrew J.
Hart, the tallest man in California,
died in Los Angeles, June 27, at the
age of 67 years. He measured 6 feet
10% inches in height, and, though
looking quite slender, weighed 250
pounds. He had lived in Los Angeles
for six years, and made hosts of
friends among his neighbors. Andrew
Hart’s father died when he was a boy,
leaving a mother for him to provide
for as well as the care of the Indiana
farm upon which he was born. Until
he was 60 years of age he performed
this duty for his mother, and it was
only her death at a great age that
finally released him and left him free
to marry the woman he loved from
childhood. His wife survives him._
San Francisco Chronicle.
Should Reverse Salaries.
“You cannot always judge a man's
brains by his salary,” said Arnold
White, lecturing to workingmen in
London recently. “Togo gets £648 a
year, while Admiral Rojestvensky**
salary is £11,000.”
READY FOR THE THIEF.
Famous Sprinter Happened to Be In
Condition for Chase.
Arthur Duffy the sprinter, who c»r>*
ried off many racing honors here and
abroad, once told a friend of an amus
ing experience in New Haven, where
he had gone to participate in intercol
legiate athletic events.
The evening following the close of
the meet Duffy was in a hotel demon
strating to his friends the best kind
of clothes to don for a race. To do
this better, he had stripped and put on
his new trunks and running shoes.
Just as he had done so, a commotion
was heard in the corridor outside
Duffy’s door, and there were cries of
“Thief! Stop thief!” It should be
added that this occurred at about one
In the morning, for Duffy and his
friends had been to a theater and had
supped afterward.
As soon as he heard the words,
Duffy threw open his door and dashed
out, in time to see a man darting down
the stairway. He made after the man
and after a sprint of half a block over
took him. As Duffy grabbed the cul
prit by the collar the latter wheeled
as if to fight, but when he observed the
trunks and the running shoes his jaw
dropped and he shook his head.
”1 give up, old man,” said he dis
consolately. “When dese hotel people
gets to keeping a man ready in run
nin’ costume to chase a man at one in
the mornin’, they’re too much for me!”
—The Sunday Magazine.
OLD AS EARTH ITSELF.
Is the Comparison Between Hailstones
and Eggs.
There is some strange relation be
tween hailstones and poultry, or be
tween hailstones and eggs, that fas
cinates mankind. The hailstone may
be dodged, the egg should dodged, but
the comparison between hailstones
and eggs never can be dodged. It is
impossible to get away from it. When
ever there is a hailstorm, when ten
der plants are cut to death and win
dow glass is shivered, the hailstones
are always the size of hens’ eggs.
Nobody ever heard of a hailstone the
size of baseballs, walnuts or potatoes,
or the size of a macadam rock, golf
balls, tomatoes or the fist, but ever
and always the size of eggs. Yet eggs
vary in size. .
No chicken fancier would think of
pointing to a cackling hen and saying:
“She lays eggs as big as hailstones.”
There really should be no compari
son between hailstones and eggs. A
shower of hailstones is a work of na
ture.# while a shower of eggs is apt
to be a work of ill-nature. A shower
of hailstones may be destructive, but
a shower of eggs is positively insan
ity. The longer a hailstone stays on
earth the more Inconspicuous it be
comes, while the longer an egg stays
on earth the more convinced we ar«
that it is h^re.
The Mill and the Water.
“ 'The mill will never grind
With the water that is past,’ ”
Sighed the Moralizing Person
To the Cobbler at his last;
And he sighed again profoundly
At this solemn thought of hiz
Concerning men's and women’s
Wasted opportunities.
*
But the Cobbler kept on cobbling.
And he said: ’‘Wen. I don’t claim
To be much uv a grinder,
But I git there jist the same
With cobblin’ shoes; and, mister,
If I kin say my say.
I'll say that there warter
Wa’n’t quite all throwed away.”
r
The Moralizing Person
Sighed again and shook his head.
And the Cobbler kept on talking:
"Why. it’s plain as day,” he said.
“You kin put yer plant uv bilers
Jist below the mill an' git
A J’int er two uv pipin’
To reach right up to it;
"Then chuck in slabs and shavln’s.
And set the pile afire,
An' 'fore you know it, mister.
You've got that steam up higher
Than Parson Trimble's steeple;
Then turn yer throttle, and
That mill will git a move on
And grind to beat the band.’’
The Cobbler ceased conversing
And let his hammer drop,
And the Moralizing Person
Got up and left the shop.
Absurd and Perilous.
Congressman Landis desired to Il
lustrate the absurd and perilous posi
tion of a boodle politician whose dis
honesty had been exposed.
“There, before the crash came,” he
said, “the man stood tottering and
swaying, pale and scared; and, though
I pitied him, I had to laugh at him be
cause his position was so ludicrous.
“He reminded me of the Indianap
olis barber who got drunk one busy
Saturday afternoon.
“This barber, heavy with eighteen
large, cold glasses of beer, lurched
into his 6hop at the end of the ball
game, put on his white coat, seized a
razor, and began to shave a patron
whom the apprentice had just lathered
up.
“As the barber shaved aw&y he held
onto the patron’s nose.
“‘Hang it!’ the patron said. What
are you about, anyway? Let go of my
nose, will you?’
“ ‘Let go?’ said the barber. ‘Not a
bit of it If I did I’d fall down.’ ”
Turtle Weighs 700 Pounds.
A- monster sea turtle, known as a
leather-back, has been captured at the
mouth of the Nanticoke river, in Mary
land. The turtle weighed between 600
and 700 pounds, was a fraction over
six feet long from tip to tip of shell
and had flippers over three feet from
tip to tip.
A half inch hawser was required to
halter the big fellow to a post. During
an effort to free itself the rope, which
was fastened over the head and under
the flippers, became so tight that it
was found that the turtle would be
choked. The big reptile became en
tangled in an ordinary fish net spread
off the mouth of the Nanticoke and
practically wrecked It.
Murphy’s Rise to Greatness.
Charles F. Murphy, head of Tam
many hall, is now as great a nabob as
his predecessor, Richard Croker. He
moved to his new country place on
Long Island a few days ago, carrying
with him all the accessories of social
greatness—a string of horses, two
automobiles, a yacht, a troop of ser
vants and many other things regard
ing which he did not even draam
twenty years ago when he was con
ductor on a horse car. Said one who
has known him for many years: "He
does not need a knife when he eats
bis pie nowadays and it is said that he
can make a salad dressing all by him
self. Croker never made such prog
ress In the time.”
