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About The Loup City northwestern. (Loup City, Neb.) 189?-1917 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 9, 1905)
Loop City Northwestern J. W. BURLEIGH, Publisher. LOUP CITY, - - NEBRASKA. Impregnable fortresses are as ran as fireproof buildings. There are none. Most anybody can stand being poor; it is having other people sorry for you that makes it so bad. Two blind men who got on a New Year’s spree probably felt immune from “seeing things.” Gen. Nogi’s chief of staff is Gen. Ijicbi, a name which suggests a call tor some sort of ointment. Alfred Trombetti of Bologna speaks 400 languages. He would be a hard man to best in an argument. The Medical Record asks: “Are the American people growing shorter?” Yes, the cost of living is increasing. It would be a much more progress ive world if we economized the time we give to other people s business.— Puck. An inquirer wants to know what sort of necktie a bridegroom should vear at his wedding. A noose, of course. Everybody has about the . same quantity of love in stock. The trou ble is so many devote it entirely to themselves. A dermatologist is a man who mends faces and a pugilist is a man who breaks them. They ought to form a partnership. — The Norfolk Landmark tells of a turtle twenty-four years old. That is a long time for even a turtle to keep out of the soup. The czar has not answered the let ter recently addressed to him by Tol stoi. Perhaps the old man neglected to inclose a stamp. What is called the “smile cure” for dyspepsia probably is nothing more than a variation of the old prescrip tion, “grin and bear it.” Sometimes a man is despised for twenty or thirty years because he is so stingy, and then envied all the rest of his life because he is so rich. The Boston Herald asks: “Why not levy a heavy tax on polygamy?” It will strike the average husband of one wife that polygamy itself is a heavy tax. “Don't work in rooms where there is no fresh air," says the tuberculosis section of the Visiting Nurses’ asso ciation. Isn't it just as bad to be idle in them? --— A Hungarian who lost $118 on a Pullman ear after playing' his cornet | cot his just deserts. It is a great pity that he did not lose his horn at the j same time. That man who claims he never had a dream, never experienced the ex quisite pleasure of counting an imagi nary treasure and spending it all on imaginary pleasures. A Chicago man has been fined $100 for attempting to steal a kiss. It would appear that in addition to being the sweetest, forbidden fruit is also rather expensive in Chicago. A drunken man lying on a railroad track in New York state had his life saved by the fact that the locomotive headlight gleamed on his bald head. Don’t try to sell hair restorer to that man. A Cincinnati horse has been taught to count. But there is a consolation for the owner in the fact that it can't talk, or there might be trouble wher he tells his wife that he has “only taken one.” Mrs. Brodie L. Duke had been mar ried twice before, but when Mr. Duke proposed to her after but three days of acquaintance, she says, she was <-umfounded. But did she say: “This |s so sudden?” A negro named John Suppertonight was badly beaten by another negro named Jone~, in New York recently. Probably Jones was hungry and Sup pertonight would not allow him to in dulge his appetite. The writer of an esteemed contem porary who describes a visiting Eng lish nobleman as “the scum of an an cient family” may be even worse than his coarse language seems to imply; he may have written “scion.” Another great thinker has come to the front with a theory as to the for bidden fruit eaten by Mother Eve. He says it was a crab apple. This lets down all the bars. Anybody may en ter into the competition now. Suggestion asserts that thousands of persons think themselves to death every year. But don’t let that lead you to let others do your thinking. The magazine was merely treating of those whose minds dwell on morbid subjects. Mr. Hart McKee’s wife secured a divorce from him on Monday. He married Mrs. Tevis on Wednesday. Mr. McKee's strict regard for the us ages of polite society was the reason that impelled him not to marry on Tuesday.—New York American. A girl in Seattle put a highwayman to flight by turning on him a stream from a siphon bottle she was carrying to a sick friend. The treatment was too heroic for the highwayman. Al most anything proves an effective weapon in the hands of a determined girl. A Kansas City man w#s robbed of $700 which he had concealed under a pile of potatoes in his cellar. The obvious conjecture is that me thief took the money because he hadn’t time to carry avay ..he potatoes. "/JJoncF/y/G&xr/or/ " Why these gorgeous coated, sweet voiced fellows should stay with us all through all the snowbound months has always been a mystery to me. But I suppose the law of compensation gov erns such matters; and in this in stance I am well satisfied with the result. It is a very gratifying compen sation. too, that one derives from the companionship of these cheery win ter visitors. During the busy sum mer season it is a treat to meet a new bird: in winter a greater one to run across an old acquaintance, or even discover his dainty little tracks in the snow. If we follow up his trail | we will soon hear various chirps and ! twits that warn us that we, too, are I discovered, and if all this is in close proximity to a hemlock or pine tree 1 the chances are that the note of alarm ! was sounded hv a rieh-ooated cardinal j whose disposition is as peppery as his , coat is red. And what an all-round ! good fellow he is, so famous in song I and story, familiarly known to most as the Kentucky red bird. All sorts and conditions of seeds go to swell his little red waistcoat; even those hard billets on the wild cucum ber are not to be despised in an emer gency. His Latin name (toxia eoeco- ; thraustes) signifies "berry breaker,” j because, with his large, horny bill he ! cracks open the shell of fruit stones and so secures the kernel. One or two authorities have assert ed that these birds “never condescend below the level of the laurel bush," ' but I have many times discovered them scratching and fussing among dead leaves on the ground. In fact, the first cardinal bird I ever saw in northern Ohio emerged in a cloud of dust from a heap of dead leaves where he had been raising such a commotion that I had expected to see nothing smaller than a hen or a hawk. The less “dressy” little wife soon appeared on the scene also, and. I am happy to say, the charming pair, or another just like them, have nested for several seasons in a nearby thick et, and during the winter six glowing cardinals have ranged through the valley in search of food, a sight for sore eyes in January, when the ther mometer has tumbled way below de cency. On almost any winter day, if the sun gives the least hint of increased warmth, the cardinal takes heart and whistles loud and clear. His thrilling “What-cheer, what-cheer. what-cheer. girly-girly-girly,” rings out sweetly, followed by a meditative little “eho cho-oho,” lest he forget life’s responsi bilities. By the way, the chatty little juneos imitate these “cho-cho-cho” notes in a tinkling, icy song that would be positively refreshing in Au gust. but during the heated months these small snowbirds are “away in the North” arranging affairs in the icicle country; so it is no wonder that their song has a frosty flavor. Next in gorgeousness of color, oft en to be seen at a wintry “at-home,” comes me meiaiiic-uuea uiuejay— saucy, noisy and handsome, with a beauty that covers a multitude of sins, according to some observers. At any rate, he is the first to cry “thief, thief.” on all occasions and the last fellow to give up the booty. All the same. I believe that this engagingly “human” chap is a much maligned bird, for all that I^angille insists that he sees them lugging around dead sparrows in the tree tops, picking out the eyes and brains at their leisure. Of course, such tales give the jays a doubtful reputation that will bear “washing.” Myself, I have only seen them despoiling the winter cocoons of the destructive tussock moth. The government report also confirms my good opinion of them. Occasionally crops out the jay’s re lationship to the mischievous crow. Like that bird of questionable charac ter. he skips about teasing other birds by imitating the call of their dreaded enemy, the hawk. Owls. too. are game for him, for he cannot see one blinking and motionless in the sunshine without making unpleasant remarks in close proximity to its un seeing eyes. Doubtless, however, the owl takes his revenge when night comes, and many a juicy jay pays the penalty of his daylight impertinence. By the way crows are often annoyed by impudent kingbirds, at. whom, in turn, the saucy littlo wren has his fling; and so on, I suppose, down the scale. following the example of Swift's “lesser fleas.” ‘ But if the jay is a noisy chap during the autumn and winter months— comes May and mating time. Then ho is as silent as a pickpocket, gliding through the bushes with never a word to anyone. He appreciates at its true value the old maxim that silence is golden. There is a time for all things, and he intelligently discriminates— which is more than ran be said of many of the great urfeathered. According to Lowell, his kingly crown sometimes leads him into trou ble, as does occasionally that insignia of royalty of our own order. Malicious boys make a hole in the snow just large enough to admit his head and bait it with corn. Into this the crest slips easily, hut refuses to be pulled out, and the jay “who came to feast remains a prey." A tragedy like this makes one thankful that “birds’ rights" have become subjects for legislation. How beautifully marked are the feathers of the jay. Each little plume is a veritable jewel of itself. Only to study one of these atoms of nature’s handiwork, discarded and floated down onto a hit of summery moss, is a liberal education in coloration. I frequently notice, too, how protective is the bird's feather arrangement, par ticularly effective during the season when he is most exposed. The zigzag lines of color render him almost un discoverable. The two birds already mentioned, however, do not provide all of the bright feather color to our winter land scape, though they are both very con spicuous of voice and plumage. The sociable, downie, energetic little care taker of the bark, is very attractive both in manner and plumage, as he glides up and around some larvae in fested hole, one eye on his audience and the other on some small grub who supposes himself secure from sight. This wee woodpecker, with his pretty “pepper and salt” suit and cap of gleaming ruby color set well back on his intelligent noddle, is a charm ing acquaintance, winter or summer. If one is utilitarian—a fad doctrine at present—his usefulness in the mat ter of grub extermination should ap peal to one. Someone has made an estimate of the number of larvae de stroyed by one downie in a single sea son, but the figures are so appalling that I dare not repeat them—doubt less doubly appalling from an insect's possible point of view. The only questionable action that I have ever heard attributed to this confiding lit tle chap is an entire disregard for the j fair sex during the non-nuptial sea ' son. John Burroughs asserts that he will ruthlessly hustle away from his own snug retreat any unfortunate lit tle female who may seek shelter with in. But when spring comes all this is changed, for he is a most devoted lov er, husband and parent. The thought sometimes comes to me. What a drear place this earth would be if there were no birds about! Cats, boys, women and a few sportsmen have done their best tc bring about such a calamity, but spe r —-1 i1— -1 ! y7/f^Gv-Cs’j?z>/Ar/7zJ' rial legislation is rapidly “cutting their claws,” and the lover of nature and wild life may still continue tc mf‘et old friends or make new ac quaintances along a foot-pathwav. nc matter how deep the snow or bittei the winds.—Alberta Field in Chicago Inter Ocean. The Very L«':est Drink. ! Some of the delegates to the For estry congress introduced a drink new to Washington. A waiter in the Willard cafe came to the bar and said: “I want four Scotch whisky sours, with the sour made of half lemon and half lime.” The bartender had never heard of a drink like that and inquired. The waiter came hack and repeated the order, and those delegates to the For estry congress, who had big hunches j of gray whiskers and the ruddy out doors sort of face, drank several of they before they quit.—New York ! World. Birds Little Known. A recent number of the Emu con tains reproductions of two very inter esting photographs, the first showing the “run,” or “playhouse,” of the great I bower bird (chlamydera nuclialis), and j the second a flight of baro-eyed cocka- j toos (cacatua gymnopis), estimated at j between GO,000 and 70,000 in number. ] Considerable interest attaches to a j note on bird sanctuaries in New Zea- j land, where, it appears, all the sur- ' viving flightless species are now pro- I tected by the government. Cockrell to Give Away Library. Senator Cockrell of Missouri has completed plans for the distribution , of his library, the largest and most ! valuable collection of public docu- 1 ments possessed by any congress man. It comprises from 30,000 to 35, 000 volumes, covering practically every subject of public interest. The senator will give it to libraries in Missouri and to his friends in that ■ state. First Cuban Vessel. The first vessel launcEhd under the ! Cuban flag took the water at Belfast recently. She was christened Regina, and is about 250 feet in length, with a gross tonnage of 1,300. She has been specially designed to carry molasses in bulk between ports on the Cuban coast. Decrease in London Foa. The Royal Meterological Society held a meeting in London recently to hear and discuss a paper on “Decrease of Fog in London.” There was a very slim attendance. Most of the mem bers had been unable to come on ac count of the fog. Baths of Ancient Times. “Did the middle age bathe?” said an antiquary. “Is it true that in medi eval times bathing was unknown, that for 1,000 years in Europe there wan not a man or woman who ever took a hath?” “No,” said the old man vehemently. “No. thank heaven, this is not true. Man was fairly clean in the middle ages. It is a libel to say he did not bathe. For I have looked this matter up and I find literary records of medi eval baths. Thus, in the accounts of Queen Isabella, wife of Edward II., there is a charge for ‘repairs of queen's bath and gathering herbs for it.’ “On the arrival in London of Louis of Bruges in Lt72 the chronicles say that ‘there was ordered a bayne, or ij. which was covered with tentes of white cloth.’ “I have found over six recorded in stances of medieval bathing. Baths, I will admit, were in medieval days somewhat rare, but they were not so uncommon, so unknown, as certain historians would have us believe. One bath a month was the average among the aristocracy.” Preserve the Forests. The American forestry congress is now in session in Washington and it will have matters for discussion that are quite as important as any that are confronted by the national con gress; more important, indeed, for unless we can have fertility we shall have no products, no commerce, no na tion for which to make laws. The prime necessity is salvation from the impending ruin of cur woods, since that implies th*' ruin of industries, of waterways, of agriculture, of pastur age, and, of course, of health, comfort and beauty. An interest in forestry is a duty of every American, whether he lives in the city or not.—Brooklyn Ea^le. Postmaster’s Rich Bondsmen. Albert M. Bradshaw, recently reap pointed postmaster in Lakewood, N. J.. has probably the.richest bondsmen or any postmaster in the country. George W. Gould heads the list of sureties and another millionaire on the list is Sam uel S. Beard. Mr. Gould took an active interest in the appointment of Mr. Bradshaw’, writing personally to Presi dent Roosevelt. Governor's Long and Busy Life. George Laird Shoup, first governor of Idaho, who is dead at the age of 68, had a picturesque career. He was 11 years in the senate. While colonel of the Third Colorado cavalry he pur sued a band of hostile Comanches 500 miles, captured them, recovered the spoil of several merchandise caravans they had attacked and compelled the chiefs to sign a treaty, which was af terward observed in good faith. Mr. Shoup weighed about 300 pounds and was very tall. His rugged good na ture and strong, shrewd character won him friends in national politics, ! as they had as a mining storekeeper in his early years. Oregon Wool Sales. More than 1,500,000 pounds of wool of the 1005 clip has already been sold in the Wallowa country at about 16 cents a pound, a figure which makes the sheep business a highly remuner ative industry. These prices and the willingness of buyers to bind them selves to take the wool in practically 1 unlimited quantities positively as sure a prosperous year in at least one of Oregon’s great industries. Working the Land Too Hard. The Manitoba farmer has not profit ed by the experience of the wheat growers on this side of the boundary. Like them, he has proceeded on the theory that the virgin soil, which is a heavy loam, could not be exhausted. Heavy crops of wheat have been taken from it in continuous succession, the straw burned and none of the chemi cal elements taken from the soil in the form of crops returned to it in any form. In the older sections of the province the inevitable result is al ready apparent. The soil has greatly deteriorated and so has the quality of the product. Insurance on Life of Czar. It may or may not be an ominous circumstance that of late a number of persons in London have been taking out insurance on the life of Czar Nich olas, though the companies demand heavy premiums. Fifteen guineas (about $77.75) per $1,000 is the ruling figure. Thus a man who took out a policy on the czar’s life for $2,500 will have to pay nearly $200 a year as long as the emperor lives and he keeps up the insurance. In the Old Barn. They were husking corn in the old barn. “They say love is blind.” remarked the bucolic lass in gingham gown. “Yes, color blind,” whispered the girl in the knitted shawl. “Hiram thought a yellow ear of corn was red and kissed me twice.” His Strenuous Wife. Oldwed—Do you use condensed milk at your house? Newed—No; but my wife gets busy occasionally and turns out a con densed cake. Automobiles and Women. Mr. Crimsonbeak—“Automobiles are a good deal like women.” Mrs. Cri m son beak—" Because they are expensive. I suppose?” “Not exactly. Because they are hard to control, and when they get cranky you don't know what's the matter with them.”—Yonkers Statesman. Out of Style. “Well, they are no longer the fash ion.” “What?” “Eleven butt in’ kids; the football season is over.” VERY OBLIGING. ‘‘I told the artist who is painting my portrait to make my mouth small, ever so small.” ‘ What did he say?” “Said he’d leave it out altogether if I wanted him to.” A Thing to Avoid. “Ha! that's a clever story.” laughed Dawson. “Here comes Rorem; tell it to him.” “No,” said Mawson, “it would be suggestive to him.” “Nonsense! Nobody could possibly consider that story suggestive. “He could. He'd consider it sugges tive of some old chestnut which he’d insist upon telling."—Catholic Stand ard. The Cook’s Favorite. Mrs. Powers—I’m afraid you'll have to use your influence to have a new policeman assigned to this beat. Brid get doesn't like the present one. Mr. Powers—All right, and while I'm about it I'll to careful to get one that likes his roast beef rare. I'm tired of overdone meat. Working Overtime Without Pay. j Mr. Jackson—Ah wnkked two hours | ober time yesteddy an' nebbah got no pay fer it. | Mr. Johnson—flow'd yo’ come to do | It? Mr. Jackson—Do boy failed ter wake | me up at. quittin’ time and Ah slop’ ! two hours after six. Alack! Alas! “For every dollar spent in this coun try for spirituous and malt liquors,” said the moralizer. “twenty cents is spent for tea and coffee.” “Gee!” exclaimed the demoralizer, “the amount of coin squandered on tea and coffee is certainly something fierce.” Making Allowances. He—What allowance do you think your father ought to make us when we are married? She—Well. I think if he makes al lowances for my extravagance and your income, dear, he will be doing as much as we can expect of him. He Admitted It. "Conductor,” said the timid old lady, ‘‘ain't you 'feared o’ bein’ killed by the 'lectricitv in these here cars?” “No. ma’am.” replied the man, as he pocketed four fares and rang up two. “I’m not exactly a good conductor.”— Philadelphia Public Ledger. Necessary Preparation. “Has your boy passed his exami nation for college?” “Not entirely. He has qualified in his studies, but he lias yet to pass a physician’s examination to determine whether he can stand being hazed.” The Sacrifice. Clara—I don’t see why you liked that group picture of our society; it wasn’t particularly good of you. Isabelle—I know it, but it was so perfectly horrid of that conceited .Miss Gushing!—Detroit Free Press. Explaining It. “Troubled with sleeplessiess, eh?” said the doctor. “Is your trouble of long standing?” “Yes,” replied Popley, “and long walking. The baby’s had colic every night for three months.” Cum Grano Salis. “Well, Mrs. Eragley is a good wom an, but I think she lets her left hand know what her right hand does.” "Well, her left hand probably takes the information with a grain of salt.” The Customary Climax. Nordy—How did that new play end? Butts—Oh, in the usual way. Nordy—And what do you call the usual way? Butts—In a whirl of hats and feath ers and opera cloaks. Wasteful. gue—Liza jes’ bought a book on “How to Be Beautiful.” Dinah—Huh! Some fool niggahs ’d spend dere money jes’ tryin to find out how to get rid ob freckles. I A Discussion at the Club. Mis. Brown—Why, those Wall street speculators get control of stocks and they just ruin people. Mrs. Jones—How dreadful! But I should think the governors of the stock exchange would forbid the sell ing stocks to speculators. Looks Like Malpractice. Dr. Cutts—“I made an awful mis take when I diagnosed that mans case as appendicitis.” Dr. b!ash W hat did the operation disclose?” Dr. Cutts—‘ That he didn't have a cent.” Quite Possible. ^arR Mo t ink dat book ’ll ra’Iy ; show yo’ how to tell forchuns by kyards? Pete Shuah. Dey’ll guarantee dat yo’ kin do it jist as good as a for chune teller. ' Wanted: An Opportunity. Miss Youngbud— Don’t you admire a man who can say the right thing at the right time? Miss Elderberry—I’m sure I could— if 1 ever had the pleasure of meeting such a man. Same Old Thing. “What is a scenic railroad, pop?” “A scenic railroad, my son. is one where the scenery never changes.” The Principal Things. Citiman—“So you're really getting used to the country. I should think you'd miss a good many things then that you had in the city.” Subbubs—“Not as much as I mif some things that 1 never had in the city.” Citiman—“Vv'hat do you moan? ' Subbubs—“Trains.” — Philadelphia Press. Most Exceptional. “Hill was quite seriously ill. but Dr. Frankley pulled him through ai right.” "Yes, he’s a remarkable doctor.'' “Is he, really?” “Oh. yes, he never once remark • to Hills people that they had call- • him ’just in time.’ ” Saving Trouble. “Does your janitor attempt to show his authority?” “No,” answered Mrs. Flatts. “IF didn't have to show his authority. 1 started in by giving him to understand that I fully recognized it without an argument.”—Washington Star. Wisdom of Solomon. Solomon explained why he cam*' have a magic carpet. “^Suppose 3,000 wives ordered you to take it up when you moved? says he. Commanding the wind to do the joi he excited universal envy. Another Way of Putting It. New Boarder—I suppose the Ian lady charges more lor the more com fortable rooms? Old Boarder—I should say she charges more for the less uncomlor? able rooms. Cynical. “Which do you think counts for the most in life, money or brains?” “Well,” answered Miss Cayenne. “1 see so many people who manag e t get on with so little of either tha* I am beginning to lose my respect t >r both.” Plausible. Knicker—So the burglar wa f un under the bed? Bocker—Yes. his defense was m sentmindedness. Said he was .-•> u to crawling under his auto to e why it didn’t go. Somewhat Similar. Little Johnny—Say, Tommy i.d; ever hear a steam calliope? Little Tommy—No, but Iv- ’ «>ar ma lots of times when pa ge\s >• late. Sparks Flying. “Miss Newflame is certainly • acinar him.” “Oh. yes. It isn't exactly a cr. < i spontaneous ccmbusion.” A Question of Responsibil.t . “Well, when things are at th .. . • they begin to mend.” “Yes. that’s because peopF> : r: - had sense enough to mend L • •: sooner. ’ A Distressing Certainty. “I dislike to hear music mur. -r : '* “Yes, especially considering thru ;• is sure to come to life to be murder* ngain.” A HOT ONE. . . .————«■ y He—I don’t feel good. I suppose it was the lobster we had fo* .jm Do you think lobsters unhealthy? She—You look pretty well. That’s Fun. “You know, they say ‘all the world loves a lover,’” began the sentimental young man. “Yes,” interrupted the cynic, “but not as much as it loves to hear Ute lover’s letters read out in court." At the Soiree. “Have you any of my works in your house, mauam?” asked the long haired gentleman. “I beg your pardon.” said the lady, “are you an author or a clockmuker?” He Sure Ought. Bilkins—I see John D. Rockefeller is lecturing to his Sunday school class on the subject of “leaven.” Pilkins—Well, he ought to know all about raising the “dough.”—Louis ville Courier-Journal. All Right Coming In. Mrs. Crimson beak—I suppose you never saw any good in a woman? Mr. Crimsonbeak—Oh. yes, I've no ticed that you only slam the door when you're leaving the room. Exercise to the Limit. Doctor—The only thing that v cure you is plenty of exerci > afi. your meals. Poor Man—Exercise? Huh* (l lav on m>' mea,S L'a-' ,n day out or I wouldn't get 'em. The Other Boy Was Angry. Too. Willie?’’ dM y°U ROt ,hal biil"k * ' edlv R?Kvdat’” ,re,plied Wll»o. disg cdlj. bj wait in to count ten Ah. I was angry, like you told mo to do. ’ k A Friend in Need. Beetem-Pshaw! I must h;iV., by noon to-day, and I left . , 1 *cii my monev at home m my other cloth, -. t you help me out? Wiseman—Sure, m ien,, , fare to go home for it. Of Course. Beile—Wouid you allow a n-ui kiss you? intyZ -lmTWe11, 1 think it *« our d*ty to—er—to make aliowai, s 1 r tk« weaknesses of mankind.