Loup City Northwestern
J. W. BURLEIGH, Publisher.
LOUP CITY, - - NEBRASKA.
The gifted inventor of the "gold
brick" is dead, but his brick goes
marching on.
Twenty million dollars’ worth of
Jewels were worn at Mrs. Astor's ball.
Harry Lehr was dazzled.
Edna Wallace Hopper proposes to
endow a home for newsboys. Tremen
dous applause from the gallery.
At this late day it doesn't matter
much whether it was an apple that
Eve ate, or a quince. We're all out
side.
Concerning that decline in mar
riages last year, there may have been j
an unusually large number of declina
tions.
Uncle Russell Scrooge’s Christmas
may have been a Dickensesque affair;
but there are no reports to that effect
as yet
The medical congress at Panama
declares for the extinction of mos
quitoes. Let’s make the movement
universal.
It really seems a shame for the
whisky trust to start a price war
when so many good men are still on
the water wagon.
A tornado sneaked into Mexico and
did considerable damage the other
day. President Diaz must not allow
this to happen again.
It takes a mighty level-headed man
aot to consider himself a great finan
cier when the stock he is holding on
margin happens to go up.
The scissors grinder who died and
left an estate of $30,000 had not at
tracted the attention of the kings of
finance. Obscurity is wealth.
Incidentally, Andrew Carnegie’s es
tablishment of nearly 1,300 libraries
has added 1.300 copies to the guaran
teed sale of every important book.
Mr. Takahira says that Japan Is too
busy fighting now to talk of peace. It
must have bothered the minister a lot
to have to stop to have the appendi
citis.
By order of the De Beers syndicate,
the value of the supply of diamonds
has been increased $50,000,000. That
$50,000,000 may properly be spoken of
as fiat money.
The Harvard medical commission
pronounces cancer to be hereditary,
and a European authority says there
is no such thing as hereditary disease;
and there you are.
A Christmas bard warbles pathetic
ally about Nan Patterson’s “empty
stocking,” though why Miss Patter
son’s stocking was not as full as usual
does not appear.
Mrs. Lillie Devereux Blake says it
was not an apple that Eve ate. It was
a quince. This makes Eve’s conduct
all the more reprehensible. Ever try
to eat a raw quince?
The learned scientist who explains
the price of beef on the supply and
demand theory adds that it is just pos
sible that combinations of packers also
exist. What a shrewdness!
The siege of Port Arthur is com
pared with the siege of Troy. There
was a Helen connected with the siege
of Troy, and there was something
very like hell in Port Arthur.—Boston
Globe.
An Iowa woman who smokes to
bacco has celebrated the one hun
dredth anniversary of her birth. But
why should a woman wish to live 100
years if she has to smoke a pipe to
get there?
A Massachusetts pastor left the stub
of his cigar in his study the other day,
the result being a fire which destroy
ed the church. Here is another strong
argument against the use of tobacco
Dy ministers.
Mr. Barney Oldfield has just bought
& new mile-a-minute automobile. With
'.his instrument at his disposal, Mr.
Dldfield should bo able during the
;oming season to make several more
aotches in his axle.
The sum of six cents has been
awarded by a jury to a New York
woman who sued for damages done to
oer heart by a man who said he would
and then decided that he wouldn’t. Oh,
out she must be homely.
A Michigan professor says no
woman should marry until she is able
to support her husband. He does not
go so far, however, as to insist that it
must be according to the style in
which his mother supported him.
New York is looking with amaze
ment at a Danish wrestler who has
performed the feat of getting under a
1,400-pound automobile and lifting it,
with its chauffeur seated in the car.
Wouldn’t you like to have him help
lift the mortgage on your house?
In a speech to his son’s Bible class
John D. Rockefeller said he believed
In newspapers and in extending the
widest freedom to the press. Mr.
Rockefeller needn’t expect after this
to stand very high in the estimation
of Gov. Pennypacker of Pennsylvania.
Senator Depew’s New Year punch
Is said to have been a mixture of
calves foot jelly, rum, champagne,
green tea, claret and liqueurs. Nat
urally it was a great deal more ef
fective than any of the doctor’s jokes
The Hans Wagner who ba3 made a
mile and an eighth in 5:52^4 at Los
Angeles—a new record for the Ascot
track—ts not the famous ball player.
If Hans could run as fast as that,
every base hit would be a homer, and
Pittsburg would stand a better chai\ce
to win the championship.
Lullaby
Now the evening shadows fall
On tne mossy garden wall,
And the' birdies, soft and wee.
Sleep within the cherry tree.
Rut the bee is busy yet
Where the leaves are dewy wet
In the honeysuckle tine.
Baby darling, baby mine.
And the West is full of dreams.
Rosy glows and golden beams.
Made for slumbers, calm and deep*
By the lovely Rady Sleep.
With the woolly lamb to hold,
And the bedtime story told,
Sleep, for rosy dreams are near.
Waiting for my baby dear.
—Brooklyn Eagle.
(Copyright. 1904. by Daily Story Tub. Co.)
me man behind the little nan-moon
window in the “Impecunious Loan Of
fice” glanced at the pathetically old
fashioned peculiarly carved brooch he
held in his hand, and with a swift
but fleeting look into the sweet face
framed in the window, dropped his
eyes suddenly, and exclaimed in a
business-like tone, “three dollars.”
“Very well.” The words were so
quietly spoken, so low, the man
scarcely heard. “Three dollars,” he
repeated again in a slightly raised
voice, and was rewarded by a nod in
the affirmative, as he again absorbed
in that fleeting glance the beauty and
sadness of the young face before him.
“It is the very last thing I had to
pawn,” the woman murmured as she
sped swiftly homeward through the
snowy streets. “What the future will
bring—I dare not think.”
The crowd that jostled and pushed
her hither and yon was a good
natured crowd, elated and cheered by
some Divine thought of the approach
ing New Year.
Inhaling some of its spirit, the wom
an quickened her steps, and stopped
pantingly at last in front of a decid
edly squalid-looking house in a pover
ty-stricken quarter of the city.
“I’ll get the things first,” she smiled
faintly, and when she ascended the
stairs a little later her arms were
filled with sundry mysterious pack
ages, topped by one great paper par
cel, from which protruded frivolously
some toothsome chocolate eclairs and
other dainties, Interspersed here and
there by New Year s candies of vari
colored hues.
“Was she much trouble, Mrs. Mulli
gan?” she asked, as in response to
her knock a door to the left of the
dark hall was thrown open, and a
frowsy, betousled head thrust forth.
“An’ is that you, Mrs. Relevan?
Shure I’m glad you kem home. No,
; ma'am she wasn't the shloightest
thrubble—not the shloightest.”
“Mamma,” called a sweet, childish
voice, as a little white-robed figure
bounded forward. “Ooh, what lots o’
nice things you got. Can we have a
party, to-morrow, mamma, an’ can I
stay up to-night to hear the chimes
ring?”
r irsi, supper, aarung, ana tnen—
I’ll see.”
She set a dainty table—such a ta
ble as seemed unfamiliar, so long had
it been since she had seen one like
it—and when it was all complete, she
called Mrs. Mulligan.
“A faste, a faste.” As Mrs. Mulli
gan stood in the doorway wiping her
glistening red arms on her apron, she
looked a picture of good nature, good
cheer. Many a time had she given
of her own limited store, rejecting
vehemently Mrs. Relevan’s objections.
‘‘Shure you’d do the same 'f you had
it, darlint. Toosh—don’t be foolish.”
She was the life of the little party
to-night, and little Margaret, climbing
into her lap, threw her diminutive
arms around her neck, and rested her
fair small head lovingly against her
ample shoulder. “I’m going to stay
up to hear the chimes ring,” she mur
mured sleepily, but even while she
spoke the last remnant of candy
dropepd from her small, clenched fist,
and she fell fast asleep.
‘‘An’ that divil,” muttered Mrs. Mul
ligan as her mother softly tucked the
coverlet around the small, childish
form, “could lave a choild like that.
Ee gorra. the min have no hearts—
no hearts!”
The two women sat late into the
night. They had been drawn one to
another by a common bond, the bond
of woman’s suffering. Their rooms
adjoined one another, and as they
"What the future will bring—I dare
not thinK”
toiled day after day, on® at the wash
tub, the other at the machine, work
ing for the bare privilege of exist
ence, they encouraged one another
with cheering words, each essaying
to lighten the other’s burden.
“A Happy New Year,” whispered
Mrs. Relevan softly, as the last tune
ful chime rang out that night. “A
Happy New Year.”
“The same to you, darlitl an’ man
ny more o tnim. .Mrs. .Mulligan s
door closed softly. There was dark
ness and quiet in the stretch of gloom
between them.
“I’d like to ray the interest on the
brooch. I cannot take it out just
now.”
The sweet voice stirred him
strangely. It was like a strain of
sweet music, whose impelling beauty
is never forgotten. He had remem
bered it all through the long year.
Backondorp had succeeded to his
father's business by the natural law
of heritage from father to son. Its
sordidness had not robbed his nature
of its inherent craving for, what might
be called for lack of a more appropri
ate word, “sentiment.”
Here was a woman of a different
type from the others—a different type
from his own wife, whose coarse
voice rang in his ears even now. He
lingered for a moment in the dark
ened room behind the crescent-shaped
window, and then emerged from a
door next it, with something clutched
tightly in his hand. With one keen
A■ i\Vu\t \m (I M iv.it..r it . .
Hia arms were outstretched.
glance he observed the shabbiness of
the poorly dressed woman before him.
They were alone in the deserted
outer room. The man leaned heavily
against the door leading to the hall
way and thence to the street.
“Would you not rather have this
than your own plain brooch?” he
asked rapidly, hurriedly. “See—it is
a diamond. And its setting is beauti
ful. It is of the best. You-”
He moved toward her, attempting
to seize her hand.
“Stop!” she cried in a ringing
voice. “I came here to pay the inter
est on ‘my’ brooch.
He slunk through the halfopened
door then, the diamond heart seeming
to burn his fingers.
When she had gone, he sank into a
chair. “Confound* it,” he muttered,
“and so shabby, too.”
* * * • *
“Another year gone by, we, haven't
been sick anny to spake of, an’ thank
God we didn't want for food.” Mrs.
Mulligan was hostess to-night, and her
kindly face fairly beamed with its
hearty welcome and good will, the
grace of the New Year already ap
pearing to have imprinted its insignia
upon it.
“Now, darlint. I'm goin’ to sing you
an’ old-fashioned Irish nursery song.”
Little Margaret smiled up at her,
and with one small fist tightly clasped
in the other's great rough one, pre
pared to listen.
As the crooning continued, its inter
minable length produced drowsiness.
There was a fluttering and an essay
ing, but the white lids would droop
over the sweet blue eyes. A Heaven
ly smile appeared on the baby face.
And little Margaret, in spite of her
efforts, drifted peacefully into the
land of dreams.
“Phwat do you think?” Mrs. Mulli
gan began tentatively, “I saw him
today.”
Mrs. Relevan relieved her of the
sleeping child and buried her face in
its soft, golden curls.
“He wants to koom back. An* he
looks moighty prospherous too. ‘A
misunderstanding,’ he says, but—if
you would forgive-”
She never forgot the look on the
white face, as it slowly upreared
itself from the mass of tumbled curls.
“Forgive,” she cried brokenly, and
then as the chimes began their peal
ng the door opened and closed noise
lessly, and Mrs. Mulligan slipped
quietly out.
A moment later a handsome, white
faced man stood on the threshold. His
arms were outstretched. His voice
pleading. Its tones mingled vibrat
ingly with the music of the chimes.
“Let us begin the New Year to
gether, Margaret,” he said humbly.
“Together—dear.”
The child on her knee stirred rest
lessly. She quietly reached out her
hand.
A woman’s intellect is seldom up to
the standard of her conversational
ability.
THE ONE GREAT PROBLEM.
Question of Distribution That Has to
Be Solved. *
George I>. McNutt, the poacher
laborer and social economist, other
wise known as “The Dinner Pail
Man,” told recently of a conversation
he once had with a multi-millionaire.
After lecturing in the plutocrat’s man
sion on the inequalities and strug
gles of life, he seized the occasion to
investigate the rich man's point of
view.
“What’s the matter with this old
world, anyway?” he asked. “Did the
Creator overlook something in his
plans?”
“That’s not it at all.” was the reply.
“It's all a question of distribution. I
made my money by handling just one
of the world’s many products—just
one—but every item of waste was
eliminated from the handling. This
wasteful duplication in distributing is
what picks our pockets and keeps the
poor man down. Why, grapes that I
raise on my farm in the West cost to
produce just one cent a pound, but to
put them on the table in New York
makes the price soar to twelve cents
a pound. In other words; God gives
us grapes for one cent and our waste
ful way of distributing them around
makes them cost us eleven times
more than they are actually worth.
“You will say that our method of
handling products makes work for
many men, but the high prices they
are obliged to pay for everything
makes it a game of taking in with one
hand and paying out with the other.
There’s no doubt of it, much of the
world’s misery hinges on this one
thing—the question of distribution.”
“Mrs/' Not Put on Tombstones.
“How often one hears the expres
sion, “She just got married because
she wanted to have Mrs. put on her
tombstone.” Now, this seems a very
natural statement to the natural lis
tener, says the Philadelphia Record,
but, as a matter of fact, there are
few tombstones that have “Mrs.” on
them, as very recent interviews with
grave-diggers and church sextons have
demonstrated, so the woman who in
tends plunging into matrimony with
the idea that she is going to b6 known
as Mrs. Jackson or Mrs. Blackson
after death had better hesitate before
she takes any desperate step.
Even after death a married woman
is only considered part of her hus
band’s property, for out of several hun
dred tombstones investigated none
had the appellation Mrs., while every
one had “Sarah, wife of,” or “Jane,
wife of.” When the investigator ask
ed an old sexton well versed on tomb
stone lore if there were any tomb
stones with “Mrs." on them he re
plied :
“Well, I’ve been seein’ to the baryin’
of married women for the last fifty
years, but I ain’t never seen a tomb
stone yet that had a ‘Mrs.’ on it.”
Maximilian’s Officer Saw Him Shot.
A beneficiary of the will of Ferd
inand Maximilian, emperor of Mexico
from 1864 to 1867, lives in Vineland,
N. J., in the person of Rudolf Stinerter,
now 62 years old. lie was a captain
of artillery on the ship Penosola, and
was sixty-five miles off shore the
night Gen. Lopez betrayed the em
peror. He started on land for his be
loved commander with 11 guns and
940 men, and cutting his way through
surrendered with 440 men and 3 guns.
Stinerter, with other officers, saw his
commander shot. He differs with his
torians in describing the death scene.
He says Maximilian refused to have
his eyes bandaged, and stood up with
one hand on his heart, marking the
spot where the four soldiers were re
quested to fire, and with the other hand
outstretched fell back and expired
immediately. Maximilian left each of
his officers $100 a year in his will. The
only other officer Stinerter knows to
be living is Baron Fulmer of Phila
delphia.—Philadelphia Public Ledger.
The Warning in a Sneeze.
“As a general thing, sneezing is Na
ture’s warning to get warmer in some
way or other and quickly,” is the gist
of an article by Dr. W. R. Conant in
Modern Medical Science.
“The question of temperature and
ventilation,” he says, “is one of the
most difficult winter problems. So
much depends upon circumstances and
individual idiocyncrasy that it is hard
to lay down any definite rules. An in
door temperature which is suitable
ter a vigorous person or one in active
motion is dangerous for one who is
delicate or sitting and doing head
work exclusively.
“As a general rule it may be said
that a temperature that falls much be
low 70 degrees at four feet from the
floor is dangerous for sedentary work
ers; and any one who continues sit
ting when he feels chilled does so at
the risk of his life.”
To a Critic.
I sometimes wonder which the earliest
thrived,
The mind creative or the analytic;
Whether the writer first arrived,
Or first the critic.
’Tis certain that' in Paleolithic times
Men fully understood the art of slating;
And earlier than the birth of rhymes
They practiced rating.
Dear Critic, do not think we value less
The potency of your perennial function
Because you sometimes curse and bless
In strange conjunction.
’Tis true as the generations pass,
There is a deal of reputation breaking;
The ages write you down an ass,
And no mistaking.
But let not this disturb your candid mind;
The donkey's ears are very sliw in
showing;
The lion’s skin you hide behind
Is vast and flowing.
You need not think about posterity.
When bolstering the false or scouting
beauty,
To rectify your faults will be
Oblivion’s duty. •
—rail Mall Gazette.
13 Rostand’s Lucky Number.
Edmond Rostand, although supersti
tious like many of his countrymen,
yet considers thirteen his lucky num
ber, and with reason.
His own name, by which he con
jures francs from the pockets of the
French publishers, contains 13 let
ters; “L’Aiglon” and “Cyrano,” his
two greatest successes, contain 13 let
ters between them; the day he was
received into the Academy (the great
est honor a Frenchman can conce're)
was June 4, 1903—6, 4, ’03—sad he
was assigned to the thirteenth chair
in that august body, of which he was
the thirteenth occupant.
'T£LD op.
&TSP O RTS^I
Chess Match Hangs Fire.
The proposed Lasker-Marshall match
for the world’s chess championship is
still in a tentative stage. While Las
ker demands that Marshall put up
$500 deposit, he does not consider that
he should put up a like amount, and
regards his tirle as champion as equiv
alent security. Lasker’s stand seems
to have irritated a few chess editors,
but the logic of events will settle the
matter in due time. If Marshall de
feats Janowski in their coming match
I^asker cannot well evade the issue,
whereas if he loses, financial matters
are likely to stand in the patch of the
victor of the Cambridge Springs and
St. Louis tournaments.
Polo War at an End.
Appearances indicate that the long
drawn-out. war between the Western
and Central Pclo leagues is at an end,
and that from this time on there will
be straight polo, with no jumping of
contracts or stealing of players.
The Western magnates, after trying
to secure two additional clubs to re
place the loss of Elwood and Indian
apolis, have given up the effort and
will continue with but four clubs,
which, it is conceded, contain the
cream of the polo talent of the world.
A schedule for three weeks ahead
has been made out for the four teams.
It is now ffeely predicted that next
season will see but one league in In
diana.
Murphy and Nelson Part.
Teddy Murphy will in all probability
have to go on a still hunt for a new
“meal ticket.'’ while his former pro
tege hunts for bear in the hills around
Richardson Springs. Battling Nelson
told a reporter that he had severed his
relations with the “boy manager,” as
he felt that, after all that had passed
between them, it would be utterly im
possible for them to get along to
gether harmoniously in the future.
Nelson has as yet secured no one to
look after his interests, and will, no
doubt, let the matter rest until his re
turn from the north. He fully expects
to get a return match with Jimmy
Britt.
easy. This would not include the first
miles in longer races, as these the
public would have a good chance to
keep check on.
The action of the racing board will
probably give the record to Basle,
who, in the third mile of the ten mile
free tor all at Providence made it in
:54. If intermediate miles are not
allowed the record will stand at :55,
made in a mile trial by Oldfield.
Murphy Will Not Fight Neil.
Tommy Murphy will not meet
Frankie Neil ar San Francisco before
the San Francisco Athletic club the
; last of the month. Manager Greggins
of the local club has been confident of
obtaining the two boys for this
month's show after two futile attempts
to secure an attraction. Murphy has ;
an engagement with Hughey McGov- j
ern at Philadelphia Jan. 25 and will
not be able to accept the Neil match. |
Says Jeff Is Best Man.
In discussing his ring experiences 1
i recently Bob Fitzsimmons said:
“I have fought a good many fight*
j ers, but Jeffries, in my opinion, is the I
greatest fighter in the world and the |
j best man I ever fought. As for the 1
! cleverest fighter, Corbett carries off
j the honors for science. I don't like j
Corbett. I never did. But you have
to give the devil his due. so I will
put Corbett down as the cleverest man j
I ever faced in the ring.”
Turf Snub for Croker.
I The Jockey club has refused to j
! grant permission for the horses which j
Richard Croker recently purchased iD '
' Ireland to train at Newmarket. As ]
J usual, the club gave no reasons for its
j action. It wrote to J. E. Brewer ol
| the Heath house, Newmarket, with !
! whom Mr. Croker had placed three ot
his Irish horses for training, that he
would not be permitted to train them ,
there. The horses are still at New j
market.
Medler a Great Sire.
The get of imported Medler wor
more money on the running turf th(
past season than the get of any othei
RICH WRESTLER WOULD FIGHT CHAMPION JEFFRIES
Some interest has been created in
the”athletie line by this champion ath
lete’s announcement that he would
like to meet the big California title
holder in a battle for the champion
ship. Gotch comes from Humboldt. Ia.,
where he owns a considerable amount
of property, and, having taken good
care of his money, is reported to be
in excellent circumstances. Gotcb
says he will place himself in the hands
of a good trainer like “Kid” McCo>
and learn the finer points of the game
He already has had six or seven ring
engagements and did fairly well. II
he gets a match with Jeffries he will
train hard. It is unlikely the big fel
low will meet him.
Calls Jabez White Dub.
“I'll take on Jabez White and agree
to knock him out in ten rounds,” said
Young Corbett at San Rafael, where he
is going through a course of severe
training.
“I had that fellow picked out long
before they thought he was a cham
pion. I knew all the time that he was
a mark, and 1 had my wires all laid
for him. I took Nelson for a sucker,
though, and went back some points in
the estimation of the sports, but right
now I'm working harder than I ever
did in my life, and inside of a month
will be in grand shape for any one of
them.”
Fitz Now After Corbett.
Not having heard from Jeffries in
regard to his recent challenge, Fitz
simmons wants to meet Jim Corbett.
Ruby Robert says he can turn the
trick once more. Corbett says that
Fitz is the one man he wants to
meet before he goes into pugilistic re
tirement. Fitz thereupon reiterates
that he is ready to sign articles when
Corbett deposits a forfeit of $5,000 to
bind the match. Corbett may dictate
the conditions.
If the bout between Corbett and Fitz
ends in talk, Fitz will endeavor to I
make a match with Tommy Ryan.
Rejects Automobile Records.
It is announced by Chairman Pard
ington of the American Automobile as
sociation that the racing board had
rejected the claims for mile records
made by Earl,Kiser and Barney Old
field. The former made :52 4-5 at
Cleveland and the latter : 51 1-5 at
Denver. The action wp taken owing
to difference of the timers’ figures.
Mr. Pardington believes intermedi
ate mile times should not be accepted
as mile records, as there is great
ohance fox errors, and fraud would be
| stallion in America. This is the horse
■ that the former trotting queen, Nancy
I Hanks (2:04), was bred to, producing
, Princess of Monaco, now used as a
j brood mare. Medler was imported by
| Col. Forbes of Milton, Mass., a brother
of the late J. Malcolm Forbes, whe
owned Nancy Hanks.
May Match Kelly and Schreck.
An effort is being made by the pro
moters of the Dubuque Athletic asso
ciaticn to match Hugo Kelly of Chi
cago and Mike Schreck of Cincinnati
for the wind-up of the next card t#
be offered by the association. Eddie
Kenny of Chicago and George Mull
holland of Dubuque, light weights, who
fought ten rounds recently, may be
rematched for fifteen rounds.
Pigeon Club Elects Officers.
The American Pigeon club, at its
annual meeting re-elected these offi
cers: Vice presidents, Rudolph
Schweisfurth, Philadelphia, and L>. A.
Janssen, Milwaukee; secretary and
treasurer, E. C. Duffy, Washington.
The American Barred Carrier club
chose Pennock Powell of Wyncotte,
Pa., as secretary.
Tells One on “Cy” Young.
“I was standing in the dressing room
of the old Cleveland team one day,"
says Jimmy Welsh, “when Cy Young
came in from a near-by drug store
with a bottle of mineral water and
started to loosen the cork with his
knife, “Be careful, there,” said Pat
Tebeau, “that water’s charged, ain’t
it?” “Charged nothing,” replied Cy,
as the cork flew out and the water
went splashing into Pat’s face. “I
never had a thing charged in my life;
I gave 20 cents for this water.—New
York Sun.
GOT EVEN WITH CRITIC.
Wife’s Arrangement Effectually Muz
zled Captious Husband.
A certain well known politician's
daughter has a husband who is dis
posed to be critical, Most of his
friends are men of great wealth, who
live extremely well, and association
with them has made him somewhat
hard to please in the matter of cook
ing.
“What is this meant for.’ he would
ask, after tasting an entree his wit*
had racked her brain to think up.
“What on earth is this?” he would
say when desert came on.
“Is this supposed to he a salad?” he
would inquire sarcastically when th<
lettuce was served.
The wife stood it as long as she
could. One evening he came home in
a particularly captious humor. His
wife was dressed in her most becom
ing gown and fairly bubbled over with
wit. They went in to dinner. The
soup tureen was brought in. Tied to
one handle was a card containing the
information in a big round band:
“This is soup.”
Roast beef followed, with a placard
announcing: “This is roast beef.”
The potatoes were labeled, the
gravy dish was placarded, the olives
bore a card marked "Olives.” the salad
bowl carried a tag marked “Salad.”
and when the ice cream came in a
card announcing “This is ice cream'
came with it.
The wife talked of a thousand dif
ferent things all through the meal.
Never once by word or look did sh**
refer to the labeled dishes. Neither
then ror thereafter did she say a
word about them, and never since
tha* evening has the captious husband
ventured to indulge in criticism of
his home dinners.—New York Pres-.
TO PRESERVE A HUSBAND.
Advice That Combines Humor and
Common Sense.
For this purpose select a nice. kind,
amiable, industrious, generous mar.
The American variety is far better
than the foreign kind. Prepare him
by having him go through a long en
gagement, which effectually renders
a man a soft thing and makes him
easy to handle. Gently detach him
from all of his old friends and ac
quaintances and remove ary fcabi -
he may have. He is then ready to
can. preserve or make jam, as you
choose.
To can, merely deprive him of fci
latch-key and throw a handful of
mother-in-law in the house. Men cork
od up like this have been known to
keep for years without spoiling
though when they are opened up. if
kept to long, they are apt to be sour.
To make jam, prepare as before, but
shred all of his finer feelings by nag
ging and pound them into a pulp bj
complaints. To preserve a husband,
put as much love into the heart as it
will hold, add an ocean of sympathy,
a world of tenderness, a pound of for
bearance, a dram of patience and
drop him into it until he is thorough
ly coated over with sugar. Husbands
should aitways be erystalized one at
a time. Never in pairs. Neither
should they ever be stood in hot water
This is where many women make mis
takes.—Memphis Commercial-Appeal.
Willie Warmed His Deposits.
Rogers has a small grandson, of
whom he is very fond. The boy one
day last week espied in a toy shop a
savings bank in the form of a rooster
gayly painted in yellow and red. He
asked for and obtained from his grand
father the coveted toy. Before drop
ping his pennies in the slot made to
receive them in the back of the toy
he examined it critically and inquired:
“Do the pennies go straight into
the rooster's stomach?”
His nurse replied: “I think they
do.”
Willie had a lively remembrance of
an inadvertent spoonful of ice cream
which he had once swallowed too
hastily. A fellow' feeling makes us
wondrous kind. So he said:
“They’re so cold. I’ll warm them
first before I drop them in,” which he
proceeded to do. His grandfather, up
on hearing of the boy's solicitude for
the comfort of the rooster, was highly
amused and said to him:
“I do not know of another bank.
Willie, whose digestion would be dis
turbed by any amount of cold cash
deposited in it.”
After the Votes Were Counted.
The editor of this paper met the
enemy last Tuesday and we are theirs
in carload lots. We lost out and our
•opponent won in. The only way we
can account for this is that he got
more votes than we did. We are not
lame, maimed or sore over the result.
A number of voters promised to vote
for us, but made a mistake on election
day and voted for the other fellow
such is politics.
Hereafter this paper will be more of
a religious paper than a political one.
We have to do something to square
ourselves for the lying we have done
in behalf of ourselves and others.
We find ourselves now without
friends, influence, money, credit or a
meal ticket, and those owing us will
come to our relief at once. No apol
ogies or excuses will be received un
less it bears the mark of the sender—
that Is, gold, silver or currency. We
will be found at the Gem ofllee during
business hours, unless w-e are dodg
ing our creditors.—Flagstaff Gem.
By-Low. By-Low.
Here’s the way she sang to me.
By-low. by-low.
As she held me on her knee,
Long ago, long ago.
Oh. the years between are long
And their haunting specters throng
Vet 1 hear her olden song;
By-low, by-low.
I have wearied on the way—
By-low. by-low—
And the sunset is but gray,
Well I know, well I know,
ret. my mother, through the stress
-Jomes your song, my heart to bless*
Comes your song, like a caress—
By-low, by-low.
Hold me, mother, as of old—.
By-low, by-low—
Oet your song of love untold
Ebb and flow, ebb and flow*
Hold me to your loving breast_
Bing the songs of songs the best*
By-low. by-low.
-A. J. Waterhouse in Sunset Magazine.
Fox in 9 Dining Room.
A fox, being hard pressed by the
Hdworth Hunt, washed through the
arge window of the dining roojn of
he residence of Major Foyle. R. e
it Netheravon, oscapii,g through the
Vnnt dooi.— London it\preas.