AFrrm BY MARY DEVEREUX •V1TH ILLUSTRATIONS BY DON C. WILSON .(Topyrrg-A?, /P02, Py / ifffc, Srcwv, *'*J'Company) 04// P/gfits Peter-**/) CHAPTER VI. It^ was the night of December 19, 1*93, with a cold storm of wind and rain making still cosier the living room of the cottage, where, not far from the flames of the wood fire that made more ruddy the neatly kept red of the brick hearth, Margot sat spin ning, while Jean, curled up in a b’g chair opposite, watched idly—as many times before—her deft fingers smooth and twist the flax. "Hast thou heard aught of Langue doc since we left?” he inquired. Wondering what new mood had tak en hold of the boy, that he should bring up matters of which she had never ventured to speak, but relieved as well to feel that she might now im part to him information she had re ceived some time before, Margot re plied, ‘‘Yes. The chateau has been closed since the month after we left, ! with only Tatro there as keeper; for . Monsieur Etienne has returned to j Paris, where he is in high favor with the Great Committee.” "Pestel” The word, half sigh and half hiss, was full of vindictiveness. “Then the dagger did but slight injury, after all, for all the rust on its blade, that would surely have poisoned bet ter blood, even if the thrust had not let out life.” “Jean, Jean, do not speak so! cried Margot, looking aghast. “Surely thou couldst never really wish to kill thy brother! I always claimed that the act was only because of thy mad dened brain; and with good cause, as any one with heart and feeling must admit.” “He is no brother of mine!” de clared the boy, his face kindling into a fury of rage. “Never you say such a thing again, Margot. My name i* ! not his, nor is he any kin of Jean La filte.” She made no attempt to calm him; ! but her face was troubled as she re sumed her work. ; “Hark to the wind—how it pipes! ! Sacre! What a storm!” exclaimed Pierre, rousing again from his book, as there came a dash of rain upon the j windows, while a blast roared over the cottage and sent a brisk puff down the I chimney. “ ’Tis indeed a dreadful storm,” Mar got agreed, as she now drew her wheel farther away from the fireplace. “But ' there is one good thing to it.” "What good can there be in such a storm as this?” queried Jean, who was hoping it had not reached far had come the grief and so_row of tk.3 living, to fill the day witi tears for the dead: now had come ‘he moans and cries of the mangled and dying. In one of the lower rooms of a small, partially burned house, not far from the blackened ruins of her own cottage, lay Margot, who had been killed while she and the boys were making preparations for flight to a place of greater safety. The three were in the living-room, where her whirring wheel had filled the peaceful silence cf the evening be fore. She had made up the bundle each one was to carry (taking pains that Jean should conceal upon his per son the money intrusted to her by the baron), when a large piece of shell tore its way into the room and entered her breast, killing her instantly. Scarcely had the boys realized this when they found the cottage to be on fire over their heads. But they had time to half carry, half-drag Margot’s body to the street, and thence to the house where it now lay, stretched upon a rough btnch and covered by a blanket, in this bare room, filled with men, women and children whom fire had rendered homeless during the j night. Outside, before the house, stood a file of soldiers in the uniform ot the ' Revolutionary troops, at whom the ! homeless ones within stared appre- ! hensively, as the sergeant in command stood listening to a woman who had guided him and his men to their pres ent halting-place. “In there you will find them.” she said, in a dull, apathetic way, pointing to the door: "and with them is the deau body of their mother, or w hoever I she was.” The sergeant thanked her; and, after bidding his soldiers to stand wnere they were, he went alone into the house, the wrretched occupants of which shrank away from him. The bench upon which lay Margot stood in a far corner of the room; and near it. on the floor, Jean was stretched asleep, with Pierre seated beside him. his arms across his drawn up knees, and his head sunk upon them. He. too. appeared to be sleeping. But at the sound of the soldier's voice he raised his head to look at him, while a sullen light of grief showed for an instant in his heavy eyes. This, however, softened into recognition, as he heard the kindly tone and words. “Ah, Pierre, I am glad to have found you!” r * “Pizarro!—my Pizarrol19 he cried, springing forward. enough westward to affect the comfort of her whose beautiful face was so often in his thoughts. “It will put a stop to the bloodshed — for a time at least. The best and bravest soldiers would scarce think to fight in such weather as this.” replied Margot, showing rare ignorance of facts. “Little would they heed, so that it did not wet their powder,” asserted Jean, assuming an air of superior wis dom. She looked at him thoughtfully for a moment before she said, in a voice whose yearning seemed tinged with hope, “If thou'lt grow up to be a good man. Jean, thou’lt some day make a brave soldier.” “One can be brave without being good.” answered the boy, his natural waywardness asserting itself, although he met her earnest eyes smilingly. “Your little colonel, whom we all love—he has the bravery I mean. Surely thou must own ’tis well to be such a man,” she insisted. “Aye.” the boy said with a defiant •mile; “but I will be more like I^aro.” “Laro!” Margot repealed, her pa tience novr giving place to anger. “The saints keep us from living to see thee grow to be such a villain as Laro! Dost know, Jeat these days it seems to me tluviTt like a soul between Heaven and Hell. The man we all love is thy good angel—Laro is thy bad one; and betwixt the two art thou this night. I feel ’tis for thee to say which of them shall lead thee to thy future.” “Never mind Laro to-night,” he re plied. stroking her cheek lovingly. "Ha It now lar-off over the seas, and may never again see France nor I see him.” “I would he happier if I were certain of that,” she said, taking up the candle which was to light them to their cham bers above. They parted as usual for the night, .ittle thinking that this was to be the fast of earth’s nights for one of them. • ••••• It was the next morning—the morn ing after the flameiit, awful night that witnessed the capture of Toulon by the Revolutionists. There is no need to repeat the story which history has told of its horrors; of the bombardment and assault; of the unspeakable woe that was visited npon those shut up within the doomed city. The night was past; and now It was Murier who said this; and his dark face was full of pity as, after j glancing at the bench, he added, “I have been sent here to find you, and—” He stopped; for Jean, now awake sat up and stared at him. “Good morning, young m’sieur. And j I regret 'tis so truly other than a good I morning,” said Murier, nodding, and ! smiling grimly, as he looked down into the white face and dark-circled eyes. Jean, making no reply, rose to his feet, staggering as he did so. ‘‘Are you hurt, young m’sieur?” In quired the soldier anxiously. “Or either of you injured in any way?” And he turned to Pierre, who also had risen, and stood nearest him. “Hurt?” repeated the peasant lad. “Aye, most sorely—in our hearts.” With this he drew’ the cover from what lay upon the bench. “Poor dame!” muttered Murier, his eyes resting upon the calm white face. “The devil himself was unchained last night; and he spared neither the strong nor the weak. Poor dame—the saints rest her kind soul!” Jean, appearing to disregard what was happening about him, had been ' staring dully through the open door; and Murier, noticed that he shivered, touched him upon the arm to attract his attention. “Young m’sieur”—and the soldier now spoke more briskly—"you are to come with me. My colonel has or dered that you be brought to him.” Jean glanced at Mnrier; then his eyes again sought the open door as he said slowly, “Pierre (ad I are going to Pere Huot. We aie going to take Margot to his hous*.” “Aye; that is where I am ordered to take you,” was the sergeant's quick reply. “And Pierve also is to come.” He was moving toward the doorway, when the same woman who had guid ed him to the house came forward with a cup of coffee, which she offered silently to Jean, while an expression of deep commiseration showed in her haggard face. But the boy motioned her away as he exclaimed, turning to Murier, “I will not go without Margot!” “Surely not, young m’sieur,” the soldier assented. “Some of my men shall make a stretcher, ard bring the good dame after us.” He had, while speaking, dr\wn Jean to the door and out of leaving Pierre to fellow with tlie soldiers who were to construct a litter, and bear Margot's body to the convent of St. Sulpice, which was now Pere Huot's home. It Is not necessary to describe what Jean and Murier saw as they picked their way through the streets, some of them half-filled wTith debris, and all cf them bearing witness to the horrors of the nis*ht before. Jean was silent, with white face, and stony eyes that stared vacantly ahead, while the soldier held his arm in a close grasp, and occasionally ut teved a few cheering w’ords, to which the hoy seemed to pay no heed. And so they went slowly along, nn til. in a narrow street, which was com I aratively free from evidences of tht assault, the two paused before tlu heavy, iron-studded door of a gloomy looking stone building, whose ivy-hung windows were not much wider tbaD the loop holes of a fortress. Murier lifted the ponderous brass knocker, to let it fall with a peremp tory clang; and a few moments after i ward the door was opened cautiously while through its crack a single eye, under a shaggy brow, scrutinized him with manifest suspicion. “Open up, Martin. ’Tis I, with the young m'sieur for whom oir colone. sent me,” said Murier, pushing through the doorway, and drawing Jc-an alter him. They were in a stone-paved, walled and ceiled passage, along which Murier led the boy until they reached the entrance to a large apartment; and here, without a word, the soldiei left him. As Jean stood upon the threshold of the dimly lit room—as he stood lean ing against the side of the doorway his eyes downcast, and the sound as of roaring waters in his ears, he heard, even through this, Pere Huot> familiar voice ‘saying. "Thank our Holy Mother, my son, that I see thee safe and lyiharmed, after this awful night.” Tllen a tremulous hand was laid tenderly upon his bowed head. A murmuring of other voices came to him; and one of them stirred Jean's benumbed senses strangely, half-delir ious as he was from all he had suffer ed and seen. Lifting his eyes, he saw before him a face which seemed to have shaped itself from out the drifting haee. li was thin and careworn, with tumbled locks falling over the pale forehead; and the gray-blue eyes were bent upon i turn with a sympathy which aroused ! all his swooning faculties. "Pizarro—my Fizarro!” he cried springing forward; and the cry was I lost in a gasping sob, as he fell sense ' less upon the breast of Bonaparte whose arms went around the limp form as though to shield it from fur th^r harm. (To be continued.) Paradise Found. Little Willie's father, being a kina man, had taken him to the circus. It i was the child's first experience, and | with his eyes bulging he watched the - performers as they made "the grand j entrance.” His little hand stole into j his father's as he moved as closely as he could to his progenitor’s side The circus music rang in his ears, hall bewildering him. He saw the clowns go through wonderful antics and holt his breath when the tumblers rusLec forth to turn flipflaps high in the aii over herds of elephants. He saw thf trapeze performers, in dazzling tights as they did their wonderful turns higl in the air, and he gasped, clutchint i at his father's hand, as if to thus prc tect the daring one from going dow» to destruction. Then came suddenf. upon the scene a milk-white steed, ant sitting upon his broad back was f smiling, beautiful creature, all in pinl and ivory and fluffs. She was kissing her hands to the people, the banc having suddenly switched to a soul stirring air, that added to the unreal ity of it all. The ringmaster sair something, then he snapped his whip and the one in pink and ivory ant fluffs stood upon the toes of one foot on the .back of the milk-white charge! and seemed about to float away. Lit tie Willie excitedly rose, and, placing his lips near his father's ear, asked: j “Papa, is she an angel?” Valuable Queen Bees. Just as there are valuable strains in horses, cattle and other stock, so there are varieties of queen bees which are worth many hundred times their weight in gold. The most val uable strain is the Italian, and many Italian bee farmers demand and re ceive without question prices ranging from $50 to $200 for a single queen bee of a certain kind. Such bees are sent all- over the world. The owner of a bee farm near Ottawa, Canada, goes to Europe annually and bring? back with him bees of an aggregate value of thousand^ of pounds. He i« enabled through the agency of an Ital ian firm to effect an insurance upon the most valuable of his queens. This bee farmer has many strange experiences in connecting with the as sistants he is obliged to engage. O) course all bee keepers must submit tc a certain amount of stinging. But tr some cases the poison in the stinr acts directly upon the assistants anr makes them alarmingly ill. Others art immune, though stung hundreds o' times. Bee farmers are often appliec to by persons suffering from rheuma tism who wish to place themselves ir the way of being stung. And, strangt as it may seem, the virus of the bet sting does often act as a cure to per sons suffering from serious attacks o) rheumatism. Cured by Life in Open Air. J. D. Smith, ex-commodore of tl*e New York Yacht club and a million aire resident of the eastern metropo lis, has effected a remarkable cure of what was believed to be fatal illness. Early last spring Mr. Smith, who is 7o years old, was taken ill with a complication of gout* and Bright's dis ease. By the month of June he had lost flesh until he was a mere skele ton. Then he insisted on being taken on board his yacht, on the de«k of which he had a special hammock rigged. In this he lay all summer, day and night. About the middle of August he began to improve and hae continued to mend ever since. He is dow hearty once more and attributes his recovery entire’.- to life in *bc open air. Prosperity in Small Farms. We have become quite familiar with the term "agricultural depres sion in England.’’ It has been a com mon text for writers and speakers on both sides of the water. The ques- j tion has been why should an agricul tural depression exist in England when it did not exist in France and other European countries. Along with agricultural depression has come ag ricultural depopulation, the people in the rural districts finding it impos sible to make a good living have moved to the cities and there de pended on day’s work to give them enough to subsist on. Mr. Joseph G. Stephens, United States consul at Plymouth, England, reports to the United States government that "small farm holdings are now considered the best remedy for agricultural depopu lation. Many papers still argue, how ever, that it is a delusion, and will not work in practice. Where it has been tried it has been successful, and it is strange that so few estates should be cut up. When a large farm is divided into small holdings the de mand for the land usually far exceeds the supply. This has been the experi ence in Dorset, Wilts, Suffolk, Norfolk, Lincoln and Surrey counties. Men are willing to remain in the country if they have the satisfaction of work ing on land which is their own, or is held on a secure tenure. This is at present far from the case, and thou sands of acres go oul of cultivation and multitudes hurry off to foreign ands to obtain the opportunity denied chem in their own.” The small farm is everywhere the salvation of the country, where the agricultural conditions are such as to make the small farm possible. On great areas of poor land or on rich lands that have a very insignificant rainfall, of course extensive opera tions have to be carried on. But most of the land in countries with rich soil and abundant rainfall is of a character that makes the small farm easily possible. Americans should take a lesson from England and should do all in their power to encour age the breaking up of large farms. The man that adds farm to farm for his own glory and that he may dwell alone in the midst of the land is not a public benefactor. Our land is never intensively farmed under extensive operations. The man with tens of thousands of acres de pends on doing work on an immense scale and almost always the ground is aot made to yield the returns it should. No man will work as hard for another as he will work for himself, and when the land is filled with men working for themselves the land brings forth larger crops than it does at any other time. The more small farms there are the more independent farmers we will have and the more they will be in terested in the welfare of the rural .nhabitants. Big farms employ hired men, and these never feel themselves o be fixtures even if they are re gained on the same farm for many years. Their independence of action is destroyed. They cannot take hold of public affairs as they would do if they owned their own farms and were uot under the dictation of other men. When Banks Cave In. A large number of farmers have trouble with the parts of their farms that border on rivers. Whenever there are heavy rains the banks along the rivers and large streams cave in, and on some farms the area of the most valuable fields is being constantly re stricted by this process. The schemes tried for preventing this are numer ous and quite generally unsuccessful. Where stones are thrown in they soon disappear in the mud, if it is of the nature of soft clay. Grass seed sown on the steep banks fails to take root. If it be quack grass it may gain a .oothold, but it thence spreads over the farm and becomes a nuisance. Brush when thrown in may theck the wasting away if there be enough of it, but it is difficult to haul in a sufficient quantity to be effective. vjiuwmg wuiows seems to be the most effective method of checking the wasting of the land. No matter how steep the land, me willow can be made to grow. The mere sucking in of the willow twigs is not enough. They may be swamped in the mud that falls from the disintegrating bank. The willow rods must be long enough and numerous enough to be made into a sort of great shield by the use of barbed wire. The willow is admirably adapted to this work, as it so readily reproduces itself by means of cuttings, sprouts and suckers, as well as seeds. Where the bank is steep, willow poles should be cut not less than twenty feet in length. These can be laid up and down the bank, and fence wire stapled to them. If necessary some wire may be run up over the top of the bank and fastened to stakes driven in the ground back too far to be affected by the cave-ins. If there.are any further breakings away of the earth they will but make soil about the joints of the willows and will become rooting places for the new growths. The wil* low poles will be held together by the wire till the willow trees have become ’»ell started, when tney will be no longer needed. The rows of willows are far more sightly than are the ragged banks. Besides, in a dozen years or so the wood from these growths will have become valuable. Clean Up the Melon Field. Where melon fields have been at tacked by melon lice or other insects all the vines and rubbish in the field should be burned this fall. A thor ough cleaning up is imperative. This should Include the cutting and burn ing of any weeds that may be found about the place. We can do a great deal to prevent such attacks by des troying the harboring places of the insects. Corn intended for seed should not be placed at once in a warm room, but should be dried out for some weeks in a cool place where the air can freely circulate. Starting the Cherry Orchard. Mr. A. D. Barnes, in an address, said: Do not make the mistake of having cherry trees grow from sprouts on their own roots. Often the Morello sprouts so that the grower will give them away for the digging. Better pay a fair price and get good stock. I find that cherries will bear more fruit if planted close in quite a large patch or plantation. I believe there is as much profit and pleasure in cherries as there is in any fruit that can be grown. I have trees planted fifteen years, and at least ninety per cent are still there in good condition, and that speaks well for the cherry. I would by all means plant the cherry very early in the spring: it is even well to prepare the holes in the fall so as to get them in early. I believe in planting quite a quantity of them so one will fertilize the other. While I think they are all staminate blos soms. I think they will yield a better crop if planted in that way, and it is also a protection against storms, and you will not feed so many to the birds if you have two hundred trees instead of one hundred. If you plant a good many trees, you will have enough cherries for yourself and some for the boys. Pick Off the Bag Worms. The trees are beginning to get bare and it will soon be easy to pick off the bag worms. The cocoons will be found on many kinds of fruit and shade trees. They vary in length from one to two inches, and are sus pended by one corner to the smaller branches of the trees. Each of the larger cocoons contains during the winter a large number of eggs. If these cocoons remain on the trees till spring a multitude of worms will ■ l>fwwn» at (a. b. c) mcc***:** rtafoaf |Wj isi U|, 4. female bag—natural um tarlftaai). hatch out and at once proceed to strip the trees of their leaves. To kill them at that time is very difficult, as they are scattered in their work of denuding the trees. The cocoons taken from the trees should not be thrown on the ground. They should be burned or in some other way en tirely destroyed. If there are cedar trees in the neighborhood they should be also searched for the bag worms. The cedar is a favorite tree with these insects and sometimes they mul tiply greatly in trees of this kind before they are discovered. Nut-Bearing Trees. Most of our people take little inter est in the growing of nuts, and it is rather remarkable that in the light of this we should still have the amount of nuts on the market we do —nuts sufficient to supply the de mands of a large population. But with the increase of population we must expect to see the demand for nuts increase. That there will al ways be a good market for nuts is without controversy. An increase in the price is not going to stimulate production to the point where there will be an over-supply. It takes too many years to bring a nut tree to the point of bearing for us ever to have a very great over-supply. But just at this time the question of reforesting many plots on the farm is being considered. Why not plant groves of nut trees as well as other kinds of trees. The woods of some nut trees are quite valuable. The planter will have the satisfaction of seeing a grove of beautiful trees growing up on his farm and may live to reap the fruit of them. Where single trees are to be planted in pas tures it will be hard to And trees more suitable than some of those that bear nuts. Root Rot of Apple Trees. In some of the Western states root rot Is becoming a great source of an noyance to the orchardists. It is found quite generally in orchards over five years of age and even in some younger ones. The disease is, how ever, of more frequent occurrence in new land than in old. The disease is most to be met with on poorly drained land, though it is found more or less on any kind of land. The disease is not a product of the apple orchards but exists in our native forests. Thence it spreads to the apple orchards. This is a very important reason for not setting apple orchards on recently cleared land. That the disease is highly contagious is shown by the fact that it will attack an apple tree and spread from it in all directions killing every tree it touches. The best remedy is to re move and burn infected trees, not put ting other trees where the old ones have been. It takes at least three years for the disease germs to die out. New Diseases Develop. We have a development among fruits and vegetables, and we regard as quite remarkable the changes we are able to make in certain things. That there is a development in the character and form of the fungi that form the bases of our diseases seems quite certain. This is a point we have not generally considered and seem un able to guard against. There are numerous fungi that are known to be harmless. Last year a form of fungus caused rot among apples in Western New York. This fungus had always been considered harmless. A report was made to the experiment stations on the disastrous effect of this fun gous disease. Whether it will spread to other parts of the country we can not be sure. At present the danger of this does not seem to be great improving tne breeds. The breeds that now exist must be improved largely by the common farmer if they are to be improved at all. They are now out of the hands of the fanciers and they can therefore receive no more development from them, except so far as the fanciers can induce the general public to pur chase the high quality birds they are producing for breeders. Every breed was brought to its present perfection by selection, and this process should be kept up that the breeds may not deteriorate, but may continue to im prove. There is room for improve ment in every breed. If left to them selves all breeds tend to deteriorate, because inferior birds are being con stantly produced, and if used as breeders they will help the work of reversion. It must be remembered that all that is good in the breeds is artificial. It would take a long time for some of our breeds to go back to the primeval form if they were left alone and kept pure, but it would take less time if they were allowed to mingle freely with all other kinds of poultry. In the barnyards of most of our farmers there is little effort made to keep the fowls from mixing. The result is that from year to year the standard becomes less reliable, and the type more and more indistinct. When a farmer has pure bred birds he should keep them oure and select from them every year the birds tba are nearest the required type. Portable Poultry Houses. At the Illinois State Fair there wa* one exhibit that was very suggestive. It was of a portable poultry house, large enough to be used for camping out in if its use for a poultry house should be at any time discontinued. Adjustable and portable poultry houses have long been advertised by English agricultural papers, and it has been a wonder why the industry did not manifest itself on this side of the water. Any man can make an adjustable poultry house of his own. It is only necessary that each part be complete by itself and that it be per fectly fitted to the adjoining parts. The fault with some such construc tions is that they are rickety. This is a fault that can be easily cured. The join‘s should be perfect and the parts should overlap enough to prevent drafts in winter time. We can con ceive of a portable house being so badly made that the poultry would be exposed to drafts constantly through out the winter. The advantages of portable poultry houses are many, especially for ten ants. There are many people that wish to keep poultry, but they do not care to construct a poultry house to be . ft on the place when they move. The portable poultry house can be quickiy taken to pieces and it makes the least possible bulk when placed on a wagon. Whoever builds such a house should make himself patterns beforehand that he may avoid mis takes in the construction. Eggs in Winter. Some writer has said that if eggs could always be produced as abund antly in winter as in summer poultry would always be profitable. It is hard to agree with the statement. If eggs were naturally as abundant in win ter as in summer there would be no reason for high prices in winter. The reason why eggs are high is because they are scarce. But for the good of the poultry industry and of the gen- : eral public eggs should be produced about equally in all the months of the year. The average price might be a little higher but the buyer would have a compensation in the fact that his eggs would always be fresh. Doubt less the time will come when fowls will produce eggs abundantly in the winter, but it will be after a multitude of men learn how to take care of fowls properly. As it is, fowls are so generally neglected that Nature takes her course. Most fowls, no matter how neglected, will produce eggs in the summer time, but cannot be de pended on to do the same in the win ter time. This proves that it is a matter of care only and management. For the present the man or woman that will so care for their poultry and so manage them that the bulk of the eggs will be produced during the time when eggs are high in price will be making a large profit for themselves. Poultry House Floors. It is much easier to build good walls to a poultry house than it is to build a floor that will be satisfactory. A good many people try to get along with earth floors. These, however, have the great detriment of being damp, especially in cold weather. As a result of damp floors come rheu matism, colds, roup and digestive dis orders. Cement floors also develop more or less dampness. This damp ness, however, might be obviated by laying the cement on a thick layer of broken stone. Generally our builders get back to the board floors raised a short distance, say a foot, above the earth. If it is desired {o make this particularly good it should be double with tarred paper between. In the use of boards for flooring it should be seen that the ventilation is good and that the floor is not approachable by rats. If the rats cannot get a foot hold they cannot gnaw a hole througf the floor. Help the Creameryman. The creameryman and the cheese maker are bound up with the men that furnish them with milk more than is the ordinary manufacturer with the man that provides him with raw material. The patron should feel It his duty to help the creamery man in every way he can; for in so doing he is helping himself. Let him consider that the creameryman and the cheesemaker would like to have a greatly increased volume of milk. He can afford to do some agitating in this line for the greater the volume of milk the less will be the cost of mak ing butter and cheese from it. The man that furnishes only cream should take unusual care to see that the cream is in perfect shape when it goes in to the hand of the man that is to make it into butter. Had Learned to Save. father Halloa, where did you get all those toys? *^on I bought 'em with the money ! jou gave me. father But I gave you that money to teach you how to save. Son Tes, pa; I keut it for three weeks, until I learned all about sav ing, and now I am learning tow to shop.—Stray Stories. Sarcasm. “TV hv, John,’’ said Subbtibs, return ing from a month's vacation, “the lawn is all dried up.” Can’t understand it, sir,” replied the lazy caretaker; “I worked hard on it all the time you was gone.” “Ah! You shouldn't work so hard. Ton probably ran the lawn mower over it so vigorously that you scorched it.” Couldn't Touch Him. The Golfer—Are you laughing at me, boy, because I missed tho ball again. The Caddy—No, I was Just thinkln' what a cinch it wTould be to be your bad little boy.—Philadelphia Tele graph. Before and After Taking. Askitt—Say, do you believe it is possible for two people to live as cheaply as one? Knoitt—After leading all the statis tics I could find on the subject before I married I was convinced that they could, but— Askitt—Well? Knoitt—After I had been married three months I lost all faith in statis tics. Only One He Ever Had. “Does your coachman have any perquisites?” asked Mrs. Oldcastle. “He had one once,” replied her hostess, “but the doctor said it was brought on by being out too long in the hot sun. My! I don’t know what I’d do with a person around me that had them regularly.”—New York Herald. Sizing Him Up. “Pon my honor!” complained HI Tragerdy, with an air of great dis gust, “that railroad is positively atro cious. It took me thirty-two hours to come from Chicago.” \ “What are you talking about?" de manded Lowe Comerdy. “That’s mighty good time for a freight train.*1 Plain Everyday Fellow. “I am really and sincerely proud ol the common people,” said Mr. Pomp ous. “I am fond of the plain every' day fellow who can never hope to bs great. Call it Quixotism, it wish—” “Oh. I wouldn't say that,” interrupt ed Peppery. “I’d call it egotism.” Laid It to the Sermon. Rip Van Winkle wakened rather flustered from his .twenty years sleep. “Yes—yes,” he muttered hastily, “the sermon was very fine. Perceiving, however, that he was not in church in time, he tottered down the hill. A False Alarm. hoi tty m •*.■$! I Hotel Guest—What’s that, boyf Bell Boy—A clean towel, air. Hotel Guest—Oh! all right. I thought it was some reporter sending up his card. Some Relief in the Situation. “DeVt you sometimes feel discour iged about our political system?" ‘‘No,’* answered Farmer Corntossel. ‘I kind o’ like it. It’s a great relief co hare a man come around shakin* your hand an’ tellin’ you stories with out tryin’ to sell you books or lighten’ rods." Good Definition. Little Willie—“Say, pa, what is oon ceit?” Pa—“Conceit, my son, is the seif, esteem belonging to our neigh bora ” A Bachelor’s Guess. "There is a boy in London who can understand three different languages.'* “What are they, baby talk, grandma alk, and English?”