Loup City Northwestern
J. W. BURLEIGH, Publisher.
LOUP CITY, - - NEBRASKA.
A skull would make a good flgure
lead for the modern railroad locomo
ive.
The lobster is said to be disappear
ng from American waters. That ac
:ounts for some things.
The mowing machine knocked out
he farmer’s scythe and the racing
machine is after Death’s.
By all means, let the scientists “iso
ate” the penumonia germ. If possi
jle, give it a life sentence.
Santo Domingo cannot expect to at
j.'act public attention at this time
*vith a little 2x4 revolution.
Perhaps the members of that Amish
:olony who insist that the earth is
flat had been to see a minstrel show.
Bad whisky killed fifteen persons
n New York. There are no statistics
o show how many good whisky
Killed.
Richard Mansfield takes his pen in
hand to say that “no one is writing
end few are acting.” A saving dis
tinction.
New York and Boston have the
champion baseball teams. Profession
il baseball is now played mostly by
old people.
The St. Louis inventor who thought
he had mastered the problem of aerial
navigation is now in the hospital with
a broken leg.
With twenty-five men dead in a
week from drinking New York whis
ky, the Gothamites will no longer slur
“Jersey lightning.”
Firewater, it has been grievously
demonstrated, is the most dangerous
kind of speed-making power for au
tomobilists to employ.
Mr. Rockefeller is a conspicuous ex
ample of what a man can achieve by
close attention to business after he
has passed the age of 35.
Also, the theory that long engage
ments prevent divorce might be up
held on the wrell-known fact that they
frequently prevent marriage.
Yvette Guilbert wants to make an
other tour in the United States. All
that is lacking to make the wish unan
imous is the concurrence of the United
States.
When rich men’s sons spend their
money foolishly it gives poor men the
opportunity to accumulate great for
tunes to leave to their sons to spend
foolishly.
So the young ladies of Bryn Mawr
are not to be permitted to flirt! Per
haps, though, they will not be forbid
den to breathe, and we shall have
them still with us.
Our great soldiers are the most ear
nest advocates of peace. Gen. Miles
has told the peace congress that wai
is terrible. Only those “jest at scars
who never felt a wound.”
Col. Younghusband’s men are report
ed to be suffering many hardships co
their way back from Lhassa. This ia
probably due to the fact that they are
bringing so much with them.
A college student wrhile absorbed in
a letter from home, walked through a
plate-glass window. He promptly
paid $15 for the pane. The letter
must have contained a remittance.
Stick close to your desk, young man,
and some day you may be the presi
dent of a railway company with a
chance to resign and draw a salary ol
$75,000 for several years after your
resignation.
For the man who is for peace and
prohibition, the only consolation he
can get at this time is to know that a
bottle of champagne is being smashed
every time one of these new warships
is christened.
Sir William Vernon Harcourt,
though one of the most brilliant men
in England, was among his personal
acquaintances one of the least popu
lar. It Is well to shine, but more im
portant to glow.
An Arizona bachelor wants to know
if he will violate, the law by raffling
himself off at $1 a chance for 2,500
chances to get a husband. Certainly
not. It has always been held that
marriage is a lottery.
When the Russian conductor comes
around at Tibet to collect fare he will
find John Bull with such a serene,
convincing “got on four miles back”
look about him that he will probably
pass on without disturbing him.
Those scientists who' assert that
cental work^may be made painless if
the patient will only look steadily at
a blue light have a lot of things to
explain. To a man with the toothache
all things look blue, and yet he keeps
the toothache.
A judge in Connecticut sent a man
who had robbed a bank of $70,000 to
prison for five years, and gave an
eight years’ term to another man
who had stolen a horse. It is probable
that such a judge would hang a man
for stealing a chicken.
The Astors and Rockefellers are at
war in New York. Here is a fight that
the public will doubtless be Inclined
to view with complacency. Indeed,
it is probable that a majority of the
people of this country would be will
ing to pay good prices for reserved
seats.
A Brooklyn street railway company
has been compelled to pay $1,000 be
cause one of its conductors used abus
ive language to a passenger. That
city must have at least one splendid
advantage as a place of residence.
Sunshine Song.
Would you make some saddened heart
Just a little lighter?
Would you make some burdened life
Just a little brighter?
Drop a word of hope and cheer,
Set the echoes ringing
With your notes of endless joy,
As you go a-singing.
Would you smooth the rugged path
Down along life’s highway?
Would you plant the rose of love
In some lonely byway?
Just a deed of kindness done
Clears the path before us;
And the lilies of God’s love
Bloom and blossom o’er us.
Just a little word of cheer
Lightens every duty;
Just a smile will often show
Faces wreathed in beauty.
Sprinkle sunshine as you go;
Comfort the distressing.
And your glad reward shall be
Heaven's choicest blessing.
—E. A. BrinninstooL
Horse’s Character.
The favorite pet for boys and girls
is a dog, but the most useful is a
horse, only it is more expensive to
keep, and therefore city boys and girls
are debarred from this pleasure. But
if you should buy a horse, big or little,
be sure you buy a good one; a shying,
kicking, biting horse is worse than
none.
The simplest plan is to buy a horse
you “know”; a horse you have seen
ridden and driven at least a year. If
you don’t know any horse you had
better get a friend to buy one for you,
or, better still, learn how to detect his
good and bad qualities.
A horse’s head indicates his charac
ter very much as a man’s does. Vice
is shown in the eyes and mouth; in
telligence in the eye and in the pose,
in the mobile nostril and active ear.
The size of the eye, the thinness of the
skin, the large, open, thin-edged nos
tril, the fine ear, and thin fine mam
and foretop, are indications of fine
breeding, which, with good limbs and
muscular power, insures a consider
able degree of speed in the animal.
The stupidly lazy horse that drivers
call a “lunkhead” has a dull eye,
usually a narrow forehead and con
tracted poll. He is always a blunder
er, forgets himself and stumbles on
smooth ground, gets himself and his
owner Into difficulties and is generally
lazy. He needs constant care and
watchfulness on the drivers’ part and
you had better let him alone.
Pindertoy.
This pindertoy, the gay drum major,
can be readily made by cutting out
and fastening together the various
parts. Scissors and a pin only are
ueeded.
Story of a Deadhead Bruin.
As a passenger train from Cedar
Keys to Jacksonville was running at
a lively rate, some cattle on the track
caused the train to slacken speed
almost to a stop. When the tral.;
slowed up, to prevent running over
the cows, a large black bear trotte^
leisurely out of the woods and climbed
upon the platform of the car to see,
probably, if there was anything of an
eatable nature aboard. He had got on
the front platform of the express car,
and, finding the door open, decided to
continue his search in the interior. In
side he found three nice strings of
fish, all of which he transferred to
his stomach. During the time the bear
was taking his lunch the baggagemas
ter discovered him and notified the
conductor, and the two men could
think of nothing to do but start the
train. When the train started, the
swaying of the car shut the door,
and all thought an important capture
had been made. The bear soon be
came tired of his ride, and looked
about for means of egress. Nothing
appeared so vulnerable to attack r.s
the windows in the side of the car,
which were protected by iron rods
about a half inch in diameter. He
selected one of these and clawed the
woodwork about it very badly. He
then evidently caught three or four of
the iron bars with his paws, and, giv
ing them a hug, broke and twisted
them off clean. His lumbering body
was then forced through the aperature
and struck the ground like a rubber
ball. He turned two or three somer
saults and ambled off into the woods.
Why Cows Dislike Dogs.
Why should a cow so hate a dog?
If only an innocent little poodle hap
pens Into a pasture with a cow you
will see a lowering of horns and a
stamping of feet that sends the poodle
scampering for a place of safety. The
reason dates back for huadreds of
years to the time when all dogs were
wclves and all cows were wild, shaggy
cattle almost as savage. There was a
constant warfare between them, and
the wild cattle, nearly every day, had
to use horns and hoofs to k,eep them
selves and their calves from being
eaten by the hungry wolves. Dogs
have been for so many hundreds of
years the close friends of m§n that
they have forgotten some of their nat
ural enemies, but the cattle have not,
as you can see almost any day in the
fields.
Showman's Trick.
An amusing little game for boys and
girls, one which will produce mucn
laughter and fun, is explained here.
Let some boy of the party pretend to
be a magician, claiming to be able to
show each guest any animal he or she
wishes to see. The guests, all save
the boy acting the part of the magi
cian, are invited to leave the parlor,
entering an adjoining room. A girl
assistant stands at the door connect
ing the two apartments, and calls one
person at a time into the parlor, clos
ing the door securely again, so that
the as yet uninitiated may not see
the fate of their fellows.
On entering the parlor the boy cr
girl is asked by the magician:
“What animal do you wish most to
see?”
The person questioned names some
animal, maybe a monkey, whereupon
the magician says: “Close your eyes
tightly, please.” Then he quickly re
moves a small mirror from the inside
of his coat, and, holding .t in front of
the subject’s closed eyes, he com
mands: “Behold the monkey,” or
naming the animal, of course, asked
for. The boy or girl opens his or her
eyes to gaze at his or her own image
and the laugh is indulged in at the
soia one’s expense.
Then victim No. 1 is allowed to sit
down and enjoy seeing each guest in
turn sold in the same ridiculous man
ner, and as the crowd of spectators
becomes larger the merriment be
comes greater, for all the boys ana
girls present enjoy most keenly seeing
their friends turned into animals at
tne pleasure of the magician.
Getting Ready for Winter.
All nature is now getting ready for
the long, cold winter. The trees that
leaf early in the spring are protecting
the coming buds with down and wool,
the birds and beasts are putting on
their winter changes of plumage and
fur and even certain of the insects are <
growing soft, warm coverings. Not
only is the fur of outdoor animals
growing longer and closer, but most
of them are putting on underclothing
of dense, short hairs growing among
the roots of the longer fur. The beau
tiful cashmere shawls are made from
this inner wool on the goat.
Overshoes are worn by a large num
ber of birds. In the late fall fringes
of sharp points grow on the toes of
the ruffled grouse, and the feathers on
the feet of the ptarmigan are much
broader and stiffer than in summer,
and really act as snowshoes to keep
the feet from sinking into the soft
snow. At night, by the aid of these
feathers, these birds can scratch their
way into a drift and lie there well
sheltered, or dig deeply into the snow
for the wintergreen and partridge ber
ries that lie close to the warm earth.
Some of the smaller animals also
wear snowshoes. The hairs grow so
long and so stiff on the feet of some
of the rabbits that one Western spe
cies is called the snowshoe rabbit.
Furl Alive.
Fun Alive is a game played by any
number of persons with eight large
cards, called “game cards,” and forty
smaller “forfeit cards.” The game
cards are all blank except one, called
the “catch card,” on which the words
"Fun Alive” are printed in large let
ters. On each of the forfeit cards a
forfeit is printed. The forfeit cards
are spread, face downward, in the
middle of the table, and the game is
begun by one player’s taking the
game cards, shuffling them and pre
senting them to his left-hand neigh
bor, who draws one. If it be the catch
card, he must at once draw a forfeit
card, and do as it directs. Then the
player who draws, shuffles the game
cards and presents them to his left
hand neighbor, and so on. When a
player draws a blank card he takes
no forfeit card, and the next one
draws at once. The game continues
thus as long as the players choose.
Baby an Accomplished Linguist.
Little Rejane Lea, who resides wiln
her parents in York road, Lambeth,
is something of a “wonder child.” She
speaks as many languages as she is
years of age.
Although not quite three, Rejane
prattles fluently in French, Italian and
English. In addition, the baby lin
guist has invented a mixture of the
three languages which she addresses
exclusively to her dolls.
Rejane was born in Cairo. Her
mother is French and her father Ital
ian. She converses with both parents
in their native languages.
A few months ago Rejane was
brought to London and placed in the
care of a nurse whose linguistic at
tainments are inflexibly limited to
English.
Rejane is a dainty, sprightly little
miss with raven black tresses. She
explained last evening that “it was
very dull having no one to converse
w'ith. It got very lonely in time. J*st
fancy nurse not being able to speak
either French or Italian, and she is
years and years older than I am!
Well, I felt I must speak to some one
or die! So I set to work and learned
English.’'
When, in a few weeks, Rejane
reaches her third year, she is to begin
learning German. Afterward she will
be taught Arabic.
Her father is an accomplished lin
guist, so Rejane’s Is evidently a case
of hereditary talent.—London Mail.
Will Tramp Far for Justice.
James Le Barre, a civil war veteran
will walk from Cincinnati to Washing
ton this fall in an attempt to vindicate
his name of a court-martial charge
which keeps him from getting a pen
sion. Le Barre has already made one
trip to the capital on the same mis
sion, but a short session of congress
cut his hope short after he had
tramped all the way from Cincinnati
over country roads covered with snow.
Le Barre says the charge of desertion
booked against him is a mistake and
points to the record of his discharge
from the Sixty-first Ohio regiment
Eleventh army corps, after the days of
the civil war. The records show an
honorable discharge, he asserts
Though age has bent his form, Le
Barre vows he will not give up his
fight and will tramp again to Washing
ton to present his claim to the next
session of congress.
A Whistling Arrow.
Doubtless you’ve read about the
whistling bombs or whistling rockets
—but did you ever hear or see a
whistling arrow?
It is very simple to construct one.
First procure a section of thin, light
bamboo; saw it into several pieces of
varying lengths, the longest about two
or three inches. Then cut a hole near
the end of each one and plug the other
end with a piece of cork. The open
end is to be the head. Tie each to the
arrow's end by a string long enough
to allow the bamboo pieces to hang
over the top of the bow so they will
not interfere with the arrow’s flight.
As the arrow is discharged the bam
How Arrow Is Made and Shot.
boo pieces tail out behind it and the
velocity of the arrow causes the air
to rush into their open heads and
out again through the small holes
which gives very nearly the same ef
fect as a whistle. The stronger the
bow the more whistles will the arrow \
be able to sustain in its flight—with,
or course, a proportionately greater
amount of noise.
Wind Has Queer Effect.
In the neighborhood of -Buenos
Ayres in South America there is a
north wind which sweeps over plains
covered with marshes and becomes
overcharged with moisture. The ef
fects produced in the human body are
in general lassitude and relaxation.
The pores of the skin are opened, in
ducing great liability to colds, so:e
throat and all consequences of check
of perspiration. The damp wind of
La Plata seems to affect the temper
and disposition of the inhabitants. The
irritability and ill humor it excites in
them amount to little less than a tem
porary derangement of their faculties.
It is a common thing for men among
the better classes to shut themselves
up in their houses during its continua
tion and lay aside all business till it
has passed; while among the lower
classes it is always remarked that
cases of quarreling and bloodshed are
more frequent during the north winds
than at any other time. Even mur
derers are said to lay it to the blame
of their foul deeds. No, sooner, how
ever, does the southwest wind, blow
ing from the dry and snowy summits
of the Andes, set in than health and
comfort and peace are restored.
A BOY’S CARD SKIMMER.
How to Hold the Card Skimmer.
There is something for the boys. It
does not make a noise like the danger
ous toy pistol, but It is a more amus
ing and more interesting toy in every
way.
The illustration shows how the toy
is made. There Is a slotted handle
on which is pivoted a slip of wood
with a notch in the uper end. Around
the notch and the handle is sprung a
strong rubber band. On the lower end
of the wooden slip is a short pin and
a slight cone.
To use the skimmer, you stick the
card on the pin, and pull back and
suddenly release the slip. The card
swings around on the pin, strikes the
cone, is thereby lifted off the pin and
goes flying through the air to a great
height or distance. A little practice
will enable you to skim the card 100
feet.
Study the illustration and you can
make the skimmer j-ourself.
Hoping Against Hope.
Short—Do you really believe there
is any such thing as second sight?
Long—Well, I’m not exactly a be
ITever, but I hope there is. Otherwise
I’ll not get another glimpse of that
ten spot I loaned you six months
•go.
What Worried Him.
She—But, pa, he says he can't live
without me.
Pa—But the question is whether he
can live without me.
t Terse.
“Now, there’s Senator Rvsing, for
instance," said the stateman’s ad
mirer. “He's an example of true
greatness—"
“Yes?” replied the blase individual.
“Born, achieved or thrust?”—Catholic
Standard and Times.
Somewhat Different.
Mrs. Graspit—My husband has a
mania for practicing economy.
Mrs. Shopper—Mine hasn’t, but he
has a mania for preaching it.
yww-,wwwwwwwwww,ywwww* WWW wwwwwww w-w-tr^ry^r^^rwv-VVVVVVVVVVVVW
INHERITED.
Music Teacher—Your son does very well in music. He runs the scales
splendidly.
Mrs. Cole—In that respect he takes after his father. He's been in the
coal business for thirty years.
The Matter Easily Settled.
“John.” said the editor, “we’re very
anxious to get an interview with your
wife about the factional troubles in
her club, but she won’t talk about it.
Can’t you help us.”
“Certainly,” replied the editor’s
friend. “Send a reporter up to see
her this evening and she'll talk. In
the meantime I'll tell her to keep her
mouth shut about the matter. That 11
fetch her.”—Philadelphia Ledger.
His Dollar Cigars.
“Mrs. Bragley says her husband
never smokes anything but dollar ci
gars.”
“That’s right. He gave me one
once and there was no denying the
price.”
“The idea of burning up a dollar in
one smoke.”
“Don't be foolish! A dollar a hun
dred.” _
One Boy's Wisdom.
“What,” asked the grocer of the boy
who had applied for a job, is the
first principle of the grocery busi
ness.”
“To make a little go a great weigh,”
promptly replied the youngster.
The boy got the job. He had been
reading the comic papers and knew
the answer.
A Real Genius.
Jigsmith—That fellow Piker is cer
tainly a clever, ingenious chap, isn't
he?
Browning—Why, I never heard of
his doing anything remarkable.
Jigsmith—That’s just it. He man
ages in some way to get along without
doing anything.
A Complete Cure.
“Well,” said the prominent man,
who had been asked for a testimonial,
“I had little faith in the curative prop
erties of your medicine, but I took one
bottle-”
“And it cured you?” suggested the
manufacturer’s representative.
Ravages of Time.
“Even the hairs of our heads are
numbered,” quoted the good old dea
con with the bald pate.
“Well, uncle,” rejoined the irrever
ent nephew, “in your case the count
dosen’t take up much of the enumerat
ing angel's time.”
Matter of Relationship.
Her—I can only be a sister to you
Him—Oh, that won’t do. You’ll
have to be a daughter to me or noth
ing.
Her—Because why?
Him—Because I’ve been a “popper”
to you.
Perfectly Awful.
“I don't know why it is,” remarked
young Saphead, “but I’m always dull
and stupid when I have a cold.”
“You are certainly entitled to sym
pathy,” replied Miss Caustique. “A
chronic cold must be an awful thing.
A Distinction.
“Can a man patent a scientific dis
covery?” asked the commercial person.
“It isn’t usually done,” answered the
scientist. "But some of them ought
to be copyrighted as literary produc
tions.”—Washington Star.
Unconscious Insult.
Mrs. Homer—Do have some more of
the Ice cream, Miss Guestly!
Miss Guestly—Well, just a little, as
you insist: but only a mouthful, mind.
Mrs. Homer—Jane, fill Miss Guest
ly’s plate up again.
A Misrepresentation.
“It has been Insinuated that you are
the hireling of a trust.”
“It’s a base misrepresentation,” an
swered Senator Sorghum. “I’ve been
promoted. I’m a stockholder now."
Genuine Imitation.
“Well, I made the sale, all right,”
I said the new salesman.
“But you lied to her,” protested the
proprietor. “You told her they were 1
genuine Irish laces—”
“No, I didn’t. She simply said she
didn’t want any ‘bogus imitations,’
and I assured her ours were genuine.”
Disbeliever.
Wife~"Do you believe that mar
riage is a lottery?”
Husband—“No. I don’t.”
Wife—“Why not?”
Husband Because when a man
draws a blank in a lottery he can tear
it up and take another chance.” ,
* Quite Natural.
Guest (in cheap restaurant)—Say i
waiter, this fish smells. ' (
Waiter—Course it do. What’d reck
on it’s got a nose fer—huh?
Unusual. ,
She—It’s shameful, the way that
man treats his wife.
He—Yes, indeed. He doesn’t seem
to mind her a bit.
Time for Serious Reflection.
“When does a young man commence
first to think seriously of marriage?”
“Usually about two months after
he’s married.”
I
I t
Mrs. Upperten (at dinner)—Have you any heirlooms in your family?
Mrs. Newrich—Sure. Why this here knife I'm eattin' this pie with has
been in my family for forty years.
Had His Degree.
“Why does every parachute jumper
call himself a professor?”
“I don’t know, but I heard of one
who signed himself Prof. Flire, B. A.
“Bachelor of Arts?”
“No, balloon ascensionist.”
Knew His Place.
Mrs. Newkid—Henry, I wish you
would get up and carry the baby a
little while.
Newkid (sleepily)—Not much! I
engaged with this concern as a silent
partner, not as a floorwalker.
Could Afford It.
“Bigglesworth is a multimillionaire
at last.”
“How do you know?”
“Why, his wife came to church last
Sunday wearing an old frock and her
last fall’s bonnet.”
Natural Deduction.
Samsmith—“I see that young
Scadds has been arrested on the
charge of murder.”
Jimjones—“Why, I didn’t know he
owned an automobile.”
Congratulations Already Earned.
Tess—Mr. Kadley is very attentive
to you. I suppose congratulations
will soon be in order.
Jess—They’re in order now.
Tess—Indeed?
Jess—Yes, I rejected him last night
Friendly Comment.
“Yes,” said the newly elected freigh*
payer, “it was a case of love at firsl
sight with me.”
“It’s too bad,” rejoined his olu
bachelor friend, “that you didn't hav<
time to take a second look.”
Getting the Money Anyhow.
Baxter—They say your uncle ha*
cut you out of his will?
Carter—Yes; but it won’t make anj
difference if 1 can only get him tc
keep on playing bridge with me a
few weeks longer.
The Blush That Would Come Off.
Maisie—So you have dropped young
Swellman?
Daisie—Yes; when I went to lean
my cheek on his shoulder he spreao
his handkerchief over his coat.
Did His Cwn Packing.
Wife—I am just dying to gre the
things you bought while you were
away.
Husband-Eh? I didn't buy any
thing.
“But you had only one small trunk
when you left, and you came back
with two.”
“Oh, yes, you packed my trunk for
me, you know. When I came to start
back I had to borrow another trunk to
get all my stuff in."
Development of Astronomy.
Alexander was storming about the
house
“Confound those four-flusher astro
nomers!” he bellowed. “Why don't
they find some more worlds to cun
quer?”
Presently astronomy was made a
necessary subject in all the school
courses.
Marriage a Success.
Foreign Visitor—I am told tht:
American marriages are generally
happy.
Mr. Gotham—Oh. perfectly. The
husband is devoted to business, the
wife to society, and they hardly ever
meet.—New York Weekly.
Preoccupied.
Twelve-year-old (looking up from
Grimm s)—Papa, wouldn’t you like to
have a golden-haired fairy grant you
a wish?
Father (absent-mindedly)—Hush
Richard! Your mother is in the next
room.—Town Topics.
Orders From Fapa.
"What in the world is that you have
on?” roared her father.
“Why, that is the coming-out gown
mamma had made for me.”
“Well!”—with a snort—"don’t you
dare to come out of it any farther!”—
Houston Post.
True to Her Sex.
She (at the theater)—Tom, dear.
Lhat man in the box has been staring
at me for the last ten minutes.
He—Shall I go over and thrash
him?
She—Mercy, no! But do tell me if I
look all right.
Good Way to Stop ’Em.
Patience—Some women marry men
to reform them. It's dangerous busi
ness.
Patrice—Oh. I don’t know'. The men
who write verses to the giris they
marry write none afterward, you
know.
Business Is Business.
Patient—You say there will be con
siderable cutting to this operation?
Doctor—Yes.
Patient—Well, you’d better draw up
t set of plans and furnish me w ith an
climate.—Collier’s.
Depends.
"How does it feel to be knocked
3ut?” they asked him.
“Well,” said the defeated pugilist,
‘if ye git a third of the gate money,
ind the fight ain’t long, it don’t feel
so durned bad.”
Overheard in the Business Office.
"What do you think of this n:w
dea of noiseless typewriters?”
"I’d pay one of that kind a salary of
i hundred and fifty a month.”