H TAU1U KIT imp II By FREDERICK ®
g? O^JjnrM DvKl 1| UPHAM ADAMS S
w Anther of "The Kidnapped Millionaires," "Colonel Monroe's Doctrine,” Etc. «S?
Sgj Copt right, 1902, by I All rights Coptbight, 1803. bt &&
{gf rBKpnmicK Upham Adams J reserved A J. Dbuil Biddli
CHAPTER XIII-—Continued.
At the sight of the ore, and of the
dull gloss of the nugget, a wonderful
transformation took place in John
Hawkins. He gazed at the ore with
the rapt look of an enthusiast. The
weight of the nugget told its own
story.
“Go ahead and tell me about this,”
he said abruptly. “You look like an
honest man, and it’s a waste of time
to lie to me. What have you got,
and how did you get it?”
In a matter of fact way John Burt
related the story of the discovery and
development of the Sailor Mine.
“This may be worth looking into,”
said the capitalist. “I’ll send an ex
pert to investigate it and make a re
port.” He rang a bell and a boy re
sponded. “Go and tell David Parker
I want him,” he ordered.
“Until we have arrived at some ten
tative agreement or understanding, I
don’t care to have your expert exam
ine this property,” said John Burt,
when the boy had closed the door.
“Your expert will find one of two
things—either that my estimate of
these claims is accurate, or that it is
not. In the latter event you would
drop the matter. If, on the contrary,
your expert confirms my estimate—as
he will—it then becomes necessary to
act under a definite understanding. In
brief, the question is this. What
agreement will you make, assuming
that your expert confirms my state
ment*?”
“That sounds like business,” roared
John Hawkins, a gleam of admiration
for an opponent worthy of his atten
tion showing in his eyes. “Make
your proposition. You’re selling; I’m
buying. What's your terms?”
“You will assume the payments on
tho Blake option, which amount to
throe hundred thousand dollars,” said
John. “In addition to that, you will
advance the money necessary for the ,
For eighteen months John directed
the efforts of an army of men, swarm
ing like ants on the mountain-side. A
village sprang up in the valley “and
clustered about the stamp mills of
Hawkins & Company. Churches,
gambling houses, stores and saloons
contended for patronage. Thousands
of claims were staked out; but nature
had ceased from her gold sowing
when she finished the broad layers of
the Sailor Mine and its outcroppings.
The mines produced eight hundred
thousand dollars in gold the first year.
Afier deducting Blake’s price, John’s
share in the profits was more than a
hundred thousand. His dividends in
the following six months were three
hundred thousand. Following Mr.
Hawkins’ advice, he so invested his
profits as to become a millionaire be
fore he had been in California two
years.
Having placed the mining property
on a permanent footing, and in charge
of competent managers and superin
tendents, he transferred his head
quarters to San Francisco. He still
made periodical visits to the mines,
where he had an office in the old log
cabin; orders having been issued not
to destroy it under any circumstances.
When Jim Blake received his first
instalment of a hundred thousand dol
lars, he gave a dinner i’i John Burt’s
honor in the Occidental Hotel. Twen
ty guests were present. This social
lunction cost Blake a thousand dol
lars, and ten days after the feast he
was without a dollar.
‘ Mining stocks,” he explained to
John Burt. “I plunged on Robert Em
met, and they trimmed me.”
John advanced Jim ten thousand
dollars, and gave him advice which
was worth more than the money.
Blake followed the advice for a
month. When his second instalment
was due, he had drawn so heavily
against John that he had a balance of
I 7 nZuV’T XkD ZT'~ TrfUT^EZ^D JOny,? J&4PSX&&
development of the property and for
the handling of the ore. Fifty per
cent of the net profits will revert to
you until the money paid to Blake is
refunded. In consideration of the
capital thus advanced, your Interest
in the property will amount to forty
per cent and mine to sixty per cent.”
“I won’t do it!” thundered John
Hawkins, slamming down the cover
of his desk. “I must have control
when I invest. Make my interest fif
ty-one per cent and I will talk to you.
Fifty-one per cent or nothing.”
‘‘Very well,” said John Burt, rising;
“it is impossible for us to agree, and
well we should know it in advance.
Good-day, Mr. Hawkins. I am stop
ping at the Palace Hotel, and letters
sent there will be forwarded when I
leave the city. Good-day, sir.”
Two days later John Burt received
a message from David Parker, asking
him to call at his office. Scientific
tests had shown a much higher per
centage of gold than those indicated
by the crude experiments made in the
cabin by John Burt.
“I had an interview with Mr. Haw
kins this morning.” said David Park
er, after greeting his visitor. “Mr.
Hawkins is a very peculiar man—very
peculiar—as I have told you. He
says you are the hardest man to deal
with he ever saw—a great compliment
for you, Mr. Burton, I assure you. He
has had his lawyer draw up a provis
ional agreement in conformity to your
l terms—as he understood them—and
=. instructs me to say to you that we are
invited to dine with him at his club
■this afternoon, when the matter may
Elbe finally arranged. If so, I am to ac
■kpmpany you to the mines to-mor
■pohn thanked Parker, and arranged
HI meet him with Mr. Hawkins at a
■Her hour. He then called on an at
■ney and submitted the agreement
«.»®bis inspection. After making a
A minor alterations, the lawyer as
'*wHbd John that the agreement fully
' t^Hected his interests.
;£ Igkor a dinner such as is possible
iHg in San Francisco the agreement
ratified.
■I CHAPTER XIV.
only forty-five thousand. Two months
after he had received a check for the
final payment, which terminated his
original property rights in the mines,
he admitted to John Burt that his to
tal assets did not exceed five thou
sand dollars.
“I have a plan,” said John, ‘‘one
which will give full scope for your
talents. I’ve been thinking for some
time, Jim, of making a proposition to
you. I recently purchased seats on
the mining and stock exchanges, and
wish to become a silent partner in an
investing and brokerage firm. I will
furnish most of the capital; but for
reasons that you will appreciate, 1
rrefer to remain in the background.
How would you lik* to become the
nominal head of such a concern, un
der the title, we will say, of ‘James
Blake & Company’? In order that
you may have a substantial interest in
the firm, I will advance you a hun
dred thousand dollars on your future
profits from the Sailor Mine, and in
vest with the firm four hundred thou
sand of my own money. What do you
think of my proposition?”
‘‘Nothing would suit me better, but
I'm afraid I’m not qualified for«uch
a position,” said Blake, delighted be
yond measure. Once more the path
to wealth opened out before him.
‘‘I know your qualifications,” said
John. ‘‘You will become the most
popular and capable broker in San
Francisco.”
Announcement of the establishment
of the new firm was made the follow
ing week. Mr. Hawkins refused to
confirm or deny the popular rumor
that he was the banker of the con
cern; and no one suspected that John
Burt had any financial interest
in It.
Blake & Company first attracted
speculative attention by its masterly
handling of the corner in the stock of
Don Pedro Smelting and Mining Com
pany. The profits of the firm were
estimated at a million and a half.
John Hawkins was publicly named as
the manipulator and principal winner,
but James Blake was hailed as the
daring operator whose brilliant gen
eralship had crowned the success of
the deal. In the speculative firma
ment he suddenly blazed forth as a
star of the first magnitude.
James Blake suddenly developed
traits which bewildered his friends
and surprised himself. Under the
guidance of John Burt he mastered
the details of the business, displaying
ability in dealing with the intricacies
which formed the daily routine. In
capable of acting for himself, he could
follow a chartered course with the
precision of a pilot.
Nature had denied to James Biake
that spark of genius which inspires
the leader, but he possessed in a high
degree those traits which leadership
attracts and invests with power. He
grasped Burt’s plans of campaign with
the intuition of a Bernadotte, and ex
ecuted them with the dash and skill
of a Murat- In the two years which
followed, wealth poured into the cof
fers of James BhQe & Company.
Blake’s nams figured in great finan
cial transactions, and his opinion was
eagerly sought in matters of commer
| cial moment. Handsome as Apollo,
and the reputed posse9s<rr of a large
fortune, he became a society lion, a
popular club man and the target fo
matrimonial archers.
Blake accepted his honors with dig
nity and modesty. He was willing
and proud to shine in the reflected
light of John Burt. He would have
endured unmerited disgrace as se
renely as he wore unwon honors.
From the moment when Peter Burt
stood with uplifted arms in the light
ning’s glare and gave him a blessing,
John Burt had no doubt of his finan
cial future. With his eyes fixed un
waveringly on an immediate purpose,
he had boldly commanded fortune to
do his bidding.
A profile portrait of Jessie Carden
rested on an easel which stood near
the desk in his library. It was the
work of an artist of local fame, drawn
from a tintype photograph—his sole
memento of the women he loved. The
pink paper frame, with a design in
hearts and roses, which surrounded
the photograph, was frayed and torn,
but Jessie’s sweet face was revealed
on the glossy surface of the metal—
the face which had looked into his one
summer day when they rode to Hing
ham, and Jessie proposed they should
“have their tintypes taken.”
Jessie was in her sixteenth year
when the picture was taken, but the
long riding-habit and the queenly pose
of her head against the plain back
ground added dignity to the nascent
charms of face and figure. John
would sit for hours during the long
evenings and gaze at this portrait. It
was the one visible connecting link
between the past and the present, the
ocular inspiration for his future.
Again and again he attempted to pic
ture the Jessie Carden of the pres
ent. With his eyes fixed on the por
trait. and his mind centered on it3
original, he struggled to span the void
of miles and years which parted them;
and to hold communion with her. At
times he imagined the message was
received, and that a loving answer
came, bidding him to have faith and
to persevere. Surely such correspon
dence was not in violation of his
promise to Peter Burt! Then he
would turn to his books, and with a
light heart toil far into the night. In
this room he mastered the secrets of
finance and of commerce. With him
self as tutor, he took a postgraduate
course in business. No detail waa
too slight, no problem too intricate, to
escape hi3 attention. The world was
the chessboard of his future opera
tions, and he explored its past and
studied its present with zeal unflag
ging and faith unbounded.
But when slumber fell upon him,
and his soul wandered into unknown
regions, he dreamed—dreamed not of
millions nor of triumphs over master
minds. He dreamed of Jessie Car
den.
(To be continued.)
UMBRELLAS OLD AS MAN.
Though Rain Shields Are 10.00C
Years Old They Need Improving.
“How rich I’d be,” said an umbrella
salesman, “if I had patented the um
brella.”
The floorwalker smiled.
“You might as well talk,” said he,
“of a patent on swimming or cooking
Umbrellas appear to have existed
always. Wherever we excavate—
Eabylon, Ninevah, Nippur—traces of
the umbrella are found. This instru
ment is coeval with mankind.
“It is of oriental origin. The Eng
lish didn’t begin to use it until 1700.
Shakespeare, with all his genius, had
no umbrella to protect him from the
rain. Jonas Hanway was the first
English umbrella maker.”
The floorwalker paused to brush a
white thread from his long black coat.
Then he resumed:
“Now, what you might do would be
to patent some new sort of umbrella—
some rain shield built on better lines.
We have proof that the umbrella has
existed for lo,000 years, and yet in all
that time it has not once been improv
ed. Consider it. It is ov no means
perfect. It turns inside out readily,
and it only protects the head and
shoulders from the rain. Change all
that. Give us an umbrella that is a
complete rain shield. Then you will
become a millionaire.”
DEFERENCE TO CLOTH WASTED
Minister Surprised His Host at the
Club When He Ordered Drinks.
The late Henry Canfield, even in the
glow of a convivial time, was ever re
gardful of the proprieties when in the
company of persons supposed to be
rigidly and professionally abstemin
ous in their habits. One day Mr. Can
field had a distinguished preacher of
Chicago as his guest at dinner in his
club. As soon as the two were seat
ed at the table Canfield said:
“Doctor, we have some very fine
Burgundy. May I order a bottle for
you?”
“No, thanlt you,” the guest replied.
“I do not care for claret in any style.
“We have some excellent Hockheim
er, ale or porter. May I offer you
something of that kind?”
“No, thank you,” said the preacher.
“Perhaps you would have a glass
of lemonade. The day is warm and
the beverage is quite cooling. Let me
order something for you in the way of
a drink?”
“Well,” said the eminent divine, “if
you have a good article of whisky
about the place—which doubtless you
have—I wouldn’t mind a little nip of
that.”
He got it -with Mr. Canfield’s pro
fuse apologies.
A Different Meaning.
A crier of a court had lost his wife,
one who had led him an uncomfort
able life, and he was, of course, ab
sent from his post. When the judge
came in, as usual, he ordered:
“Mr. Crier, open the court.”
A young and facetious lawyer ad
dressed the court as follows:
'•May it please your honor, Mr.
H- cannot cry to-day, as he has
lost his wife.”
Paradoxical Doc.
“Doctor, you are the -most jovial,
even tempered man I ever met—do
you rever get out of temper?”
"One has to get out of patience to
lose one’s temper, and, as I am never
out of patients, 1 am never out of pa
tience.”
A Guide to the Height of Heels.
There are four different heights,
with as many different names of the
military heel alone. As a guide to
those who want to be right on the
subject of heels, remember the fol
lowing: Up to one and one-quarter
inches a heel is a military, up to one
and five-eights inches it is a Cuban,
above that it is a Spanish heel. When
it goes above two inches it is a Cas
tilian. The French heels range from
one and one-quarter to two inches
usually—and are called Louis XV.
The Du Barry heel runs from two to
three inches—and quite a few women
wear it.—Shoe Retailer.
Boy’s Military Suit.
Love of the military is Inherent in
every normal boy’s composition, and
clothes that suggest the soldier are
sure to 2nd their way to his heart.
This very stylish little suit satisfies
that ambition and well suited to daily
wear. The model is made of dark
blue serge, stitched with corticelli silk
and trimmed with braid and gold but
tons and is worn with a belt of braid
tied at the left side, but a plain belt of
the material or leather can be substi
tuted if preferred, and mohair and
other light weight wools are quite as
much used as is the serge.
The suit consists of blouse and
knickerbockers. The blouse is made
with back, fronts and a center front
that is applied over them and held by
brass buttons. At the shoulders are
true military straps and the neck is
finished with the characteristic collar,
while the sleeves are plain and trim
med to harmonize therewith. The
knickerbockers fit smoothly over the
hips, but the leg portions are drawn
up by means of elastics inserted in
the hems and bag becomingly over the
knees. At their upper edges are
waistbands by means of which they
can be attached to any underwaist
and pockets are inserted at the sides
where the closing is made. The
blouse is closed at the front, the cen
ter portion being buttoned over onto
the right side.
The quantity of material required
for the medium size (6 years) is 3%
yards 27 inches wide, 2*4 yards 44
inches wride or 2 yards 52 inches
wide.
Irish Crochet Coat.
A white Irish crochet coat is exceed
ingly smart in style made with a deep
collar of white linen, trimmed with
medallions of the lace, and having the
lace sleeve made with turn-back cuffs
of the linen and also finished with
fluffy lace-trimmed undersleeves. A
coat of this style should be worn with
a linen skirt trimmed with lace in
sets. It would also look well with a
skirt of white mohair, with the soft,
silky finish. But then the cuffs and
collar of the coat should have white
silk substituted for the linen.
It is quite the smart fad of the day
when wearing a lace coat to have the
hat made to match. With the Irish
crochet lace coat a white picture hat
is good style with the flaring brim
faced with the coarse lace, and an
ostrich feather caught through the
brim and drooping o\er the hair at
the left side. If the wearer feels that
a touch of color will make the hat
more distinctive it may have the
crown a mass of green leaves or
formed entirely of pansies, forget-me
nots or blue hyacinth blossoms.
The Newest Corset.
The new corset has a twelve-inch
clasp, with the material extending be
low it for several inches. Over the
hips the depth from the waist line
to the lower edge is sixteen inches.
This section of the corset is boned
with fine single whalebones. From
the waist up the corset is formed of
four horizontal shaped bands, ranging
from one inch and three-quarters to
three inches wide, the upper band be
ing finished at the top by plaited net
lace. This is especially adapted to
long-waisted, full figures. Many, and
in fact most of the new corset models
show the higher bust line, but not
over an inch higher, with the dip as
deep as ever below the waist line.
Faris Facts and Fashions.
In Paris they are wearing the
basque again; the jaunty little short
coat always finds favor with Paris
ians. In brown, black cr gray suede,
with silver or brass buttons, this is
about the smartest specimen of sar
torial art we can have, worn with a
cloth skirt of the same shade, strap
ped with suede. Suede is beyond the
price of the average amateur, which
is fortunate, for it is a fabric which
can only be successfully manipulated
by experts.
Theu, again, in Paris the tweeds,
plaids, plain cloths and serges are cut
with a short, full bolero and cape-like
sleeves, and worn with a wide kid
band.
Corduroy did not have a very long
run among tailor-made frocks. The
velveteen which boasts a mirrored
effect and narrow stripes is much
Boy's Military Suit Both Stylish and
Useful—Fancy Waist to Be Made
With or Without Fancy Bolero—
Some Recipes of Value.
smarter. A good many of these have
been made with a regulation bodice
and a skirt which just cleared the
ground—hardly of the tailor-made or
der of things, yet not quite a recep
tion toilet.
A Wire Salad Basket.
A wire salad basket is a very use
ful piece of kitchen furniture. It is
a kettle-shaped basket with a small
neck and a bail handle. After thor
oughly wrashing the salad it is put in
the basket and shaken until every
drop of water has been shaken off.
Then basket and all is put near the
ice to crisp the leaves. Oil will not
cling to wet lettuce and unless the
leaves are well coated with oil the
dressing is a failure.—New York
Evening Pc^t.
Mix plaster of paris with vinegar
instead of water and you wTill find it
excellent to stop the cracks in the
wall.
Jars and bottles that smell of onions
will be quite sweet and odorless if
left out cf doors filled with sand or
garden mold.
After rice or macaroni is cooked
place in a colander and drain off the
water, then quickly turn cold water
through and you will find that the
stickiness, which is so undesirable,
will be prevented.
To boll eggs for invalids, bring the
water to the boil, then take the sauce
pan off the fire and place the egg in it
for five minutes. This will cook the
egg perfectly without making the
white hard and indigestible. It is also
weli io boil an egg intended for a
young child in this manner.
Cold milk pudding can be used to
form extremely nice dishes and,
when tastefully arranged, will cer
tainly disguise the fact that they are
made up of ends which would cften
be wastefully thrown away, or eaten
with distaste because so unappetizing
to all save the ravenously hungry.
Useful Fruits.
Figs, dates and prunes are all time
ly at this season, and make valuable
addition to the ordinary bill of fare.
Each of these fruits should be thor
oughly washed before using.
If you have never had graham gems
with dates for breakfast, try this re
cipe and see if it will not be called
for ggain: Beat the yolk of one egg
with a half teaspoonful of salt until
lemon colored and thick. Add to this
one cupful of milk, hall a cupful of
boiled rice, a cup and a half of gra
ham flour and half a teaspoonful of
melted butter. Beat the mixture until
it is bubbly. Then add carefully one
quarter cupful of chopped dates, one
teaspoonful of baking powder, and
the stiffly beaten whites of two eggs.
Fold in, but do not stir. Fill buttered
gem tins half full and bake in a slow
oven.
Blue roses are one of the anomalies
in millinery.
Dark muslins are to be more worn
this summer than for years.
With elbow sleeves the long lace
mitten looks like a summer fixture.
Shoulder knots are made of narrow
ribbon with long ends falling to the
waist and finished with tiny pink
roses.
Braided insertions to be used as
headings for fringe are new in the
shop.
Violets of a pale burnt-brown shade
are new to nature, but most effective
in Paris millinery.
A pale blue gown with deep girdle
and trimming of bright orange velvet
is one of the striking importations.
Along with the yellow craze come
millinery cowslips, marsh marigolds,
kingcups, daffodils and all the golden
blossoms known to nature, save only
the beautiful but despised dandelion.
Fancy Waist.
Full waists worn with fancy boleros
are extremely smart and allow of
many charming and effective combin
ations. This one shows a full waist
of dotted silk mull with slashed bo
lero of pale green mousseline taffeta,
which matches the skirt, but there are
numberless other materials that are
equally desirable. Veilings are always
pretty made with waists of either
thin, soft silks or muslin and very
nearly all the season’s fabrics can
be utilized. The yoke of lace with col
lar to match makes an attractive fea
ture and is finished with lace or other
banding when the bolero is not used.
The waist is made with a fitted lin
ing on which the full fronts and back
are arranged and is closed invisibly
at, and on a line with the left edge of
the yoke which is hooked over onto
the left shoulder seam. The sleeves
are wide and full finished with double
frills, and can be made full length by
using linings to the wrists and facing
the lower portions to form cuffs. The |
slashed bolero is cut in one piece and j
is arranged over the waist, being
The quantity of material required
for the medium size is, for waist 4^
joined to it at the lower edge beneath
the full belt.
yards 21 inches wide, 3% yards 27
inches ■wide or 214 yards 44 inches
wide, with % yard of all-over lace;
for bolero 1% yards 21 or 27 inches
wide or % yards 44 inches wide.
Short Sleeves and Gloves.
The fashion of short sleeves is, of
course, going to make gloves an im
portant and expensive item of the
wardrobe. The wrinkled suede gloves
will undoubtedly be worn, and the
glovemakers are shewing some novel
ties in the shape of long wrists em
broidered with fine beads or silks, or
inset with lace. The latter are es
pecially pretty. The short sleeves
may also be given a little impetus to
the fashion of wearing lace mitts,
which was tried last season with lit
tle success.
' DOTTED NET AND LACE.
No waists of the season are more
charming and attractive than those
made of the many pretty nets in soft
cream and champagne tones. This
one is siipply dotted and is combined
with a yoke of heavy lace which
makes an admirable contrast, but
lining of chiffon, but the fitted founda
tion is optional and can be used oi
not, as may be liked. The broad
shoulder line of the yoke is eminentlj
graceful and the full sleeves, with
their ample frills, fall over the hands
most becomingly. To make the waist
strips cf banding held by fancy for a woman of medium size will ba
stitches are equally fashionable and required 6 yards of material 18, 5
greatly liked. The blouse is full at yards 21 or 2% yards 44 inches wide,
both upper and lower edges and is *with % yard of all-over lace for yoke,
made over a fitted foundation, be- 2 yards of lace for frills and % yards
tween which and the net is an inter- of silk for the full belt.
Nearing the Limit.
“Do you know, darling," said the
lovesick young man who was busy
planting microbes, "that I believe it
makes me a better man every time I
kiss you?"
“Well,” rejoined the taffy-haired girl
in the parlor scene, “at the pace you
are going now there will soon be no
more room for improvemenL”
The Truth Comes Out.
“I say, Adam," remarked Darwlti, as
they met on the golden sidewalk one
morning, “how about that pet hobby
of mine; did the original man really
aave a tail?”
“Sure he did,” replied Adam, “but
not the kind you alluded to in trying
to make a monkey of yourself. It was
just an ordinary, every-day tale of
woe. See?”
Poor Man!
Hubby—Half of him belongs ter you,
you know.
Wife—O, well, let my Lalf holler! —
Chips.
A Poor Business Investment.
“Well, she said sorrowfully, “we
lost.”
“How?” asked the neighbor.
“Why, we mortgaged the house to
put Mamie in society, and she didn’t
marry a man rich enough to pay off
the mortgage.”
Thus it will be seen that specula
tion is not confined to the business
world.
How They Do It.
“You say the motorman and the
conductor work well together?”
"Splendidly. The motorman starts
the car suddenly, throws you on your
neck, and that gives the conductor a
chance to come to your assistance and
apologize in a wray that makes you
feel mighty clever toward him.”—
Chicago Post
Not Due to Gravitation.
Newton evolved the law of gravity.
“That may do for an apple,” ex
claimed the rivals, “but why do the
smallest berries fall to the bottom of
the box?”
Sadly he was compelled to acknowl
edge the partial failure of his scheme.
—New York Tribune.
Not a Regular Game.
“Little boys,” said the old lady as
she stopped and looked over the fence,
“don’t you know you shouldn't play
a ball game on Sunday?”
The catcher looked around.
“This ain’t no game, ma’am,” he
said. “We’re short our reg’lar
pitcher.”
Loyal to the Last.
Weren’t you slightly annoyed by tha
manner in which your wife played
when she was your partner at whist?”
“No,” answered Mr. Meekton stout
ly, "I wasn’t annoyed. I was puzzled.
I couldn’t help wondering who made
that fool assertion about its being
wrong to trump your partner’s ace.”
Worse Than a Crime.
“You seem angry, Mr. Peck.
“I am. The inspector of weights
and measures has just been In.”
“Ha. ha! He caught you giving 15
ounces to the pound, did he?”
“Worse than that. He said I'd
been giving 17.”—Stray Stories.
Ladies’ Day at the Club.
Evangeline (catching sight of a bat
flying about the room)—Isn’t it
strange to see a bat here?
Arthur (half reminiscently)—I gues3
you don’t know this club!—Indianap
olis News.
Knew His Business.
Romantic Rosalie (at the reception)
—That young man over by the piano
is just too killing for anything.
Practical Pauline—Sure he is. He
owns a big slaughter house in Omaha
Taking Him Literally.
“Would you like the cause of youi
late husband’s death explained oo
the monument?”
“Well, if it don’t cost any mora
you might engrave a couple of cucum
bers on it.”—Hour Glass.
Leap-Year Maid.
“But as he never said he would
marry you,” remarked the widow, “1
fail to see where the breach of prom
ise comes in.” •
“When I proposed to him.” ex
plained the leap-year maid, “he prom
ised to be a brother to me. and h«
hasn’t been anything of the kind.”
How to be Happy.
They were speaking of the actress
“Yes, she’s married, but her bus
band travels with one company and
dhe travels with another.”
“Then they surely ought to have s
happy married life.”
Cash Vs. Credit.
Judge—What is the prisonei
charged with?
Policeman—He's full of whisky
your honor, but whether he’s charged
with the stuff or whether he paid
cash, I can’t say.