Loup City Northwestern
GEO. E. BENSCHOTER, Ed. and Pub.
LOUP CITY, - - NEBRASKA.
Darn old Noah, he should have
killed the two mosquitoes he had in
the ark.
There is an epidemic of smallpox
among the fig pickers of Smyrna. Boil
your figs.
That young man who took tho prize
as a hat trimmer might make a hyper
critical husband.
Col. A. Hamid, it is said, thinks he
would be a happy man were it not for
creditors and editors.
May Ooelot is at last to be a
duchess. After thi$ May will regard
heaven as a mere annex.
John L. Sullivan still umpires base
ball games occasionally, and his deci
sions go without unwise dispute.
•
If all men were like Harry Lehr,
everybody could understand why Miss
Susan B. Anthony never got married.
The hoppicking season has opened
in central New York. What a joy
ous word, by the way, •'hoppicking"
is!
In cabling that he is as "fit as a fid
dle," Vice Consul Magelssen shows
that be is also as vivacious as a
violin.
With "Big Bill" IJevery on her
side, why should Frau Coslma con
tinue to feel that life has unlovely
aspects?
That threatening revolution in Pan
ama continues to burn large, ragged
holes Id tho pages of the sensational
newspapers.
It begins to look as though the only
thing which might even hope to take
away the America’s cup would be a
licet of warships.
It will never do to again speak of
Vesuvius as “she” or “her” after
learning that it has thrown rocks a
distance of 600 feet.
Announcement is made of a tour of
this country by the prince of Thurn
and Taxis, but he isn't to collect any
thing but information.
It is more than thirty-three years
since France has had a revolution. U
the French don't take care they'll be
getting out of the habit.
Beirut may be trying to qualify a:i
tho new capital of the Turkish em
pire when the sultan has to pack bit
grip and move out of Europe.
The dancing professors are In favor
of greater dignity. But it isn't dignity
that the lady thinks of when an awk
ward man steps on her train.
Baron Henri de Rothschild has
been fined $2 in Paris for auto scorch
ing. The cable doesn’t say how he
succeeded in raising the money.
How delighted Whistler must have
been to die if he had prescient knowl
edge that the post mortem cron of
Whistler stories would hold out like
It has.
Prof. Langley may take a fearful
revenge upon the skeptics by sailing
his airship all alone some dark night
and never letting anybody know
about it.
By beginning on the oyster early
you may be ablo to enjoy a few speci
mens before the scientific gentlemen
bob up with the annual scare about
oyster bacilli.
The Harry Lehr fashion of carrying
a purse attached to the wrist is rather
slow of adoption in this town, where
the police are alert in searching for
freaks and lunatics.
Even if the powers should succeed
in restoring peace to Macedonia prob
ably the luckless inhabitants of that
region would not have the slightest
idea what to do with it.
Much sympathy is felt for the. pitch
er on the Pittsburg baseball team who
had been released because he didn’t
rjome up to expectations, and who will
therefore become a mere college pro
fessor.
Few of us realize how many insane
people there are walking the streets,
untrammeled and unsuspected. Foi
instance, a Rochester man recently
eloped with a woman and her seven
teen children.
The American golf players and the
American dancing masters are to hole
their annual meetings in St. Ixuub in
1904. If the management is shrewd
it will get these two associations in
the bird cage on the same day.
A cable dispatch announces thal
Mile. Gjena I.nnjevios, the youngest
sister of the lately assassinatee
Queen Draga of Servla, is to lecture
on the causes of the tragedy in the
music balls of Europe. This is chai
acteristicaily improper.
In the New York city directory for
1903 there are over 3,000 Smiths and
i ,500 Browns, and 9.000 names have
the prefix "Me.” It looks as though
the Anglo-Saxon were following the
Hollander into retirement before the
resistless advance of the^Ceit.
MODEL RESIDENCE NOT COSTLY
Ki.. —. ..
A model residence like this can be T
built for an approximate cost of
$7,000. The first floor walls are of
local stone, and the gables and roof
o£ cedar shingles, stained a mos3
green. At the front of the house is a
spacious porch, with stone pillars.
One enters the residence through 1
a quaint door, which opens Into a
large and inviting reception hall. The
pallor, library and dining room are
connected directly with the hall, and
are admirably situated for light and
convenience. The kitchen, pantry
and back stairs are located immedi
ately in the rear of the dining room.
, -
The second floor is divided into
four bedrooms, each having a large
closet and ample space for beds and
buFeaus. It has a large bathroom,
which is equipped with the best sani
tary plumbing.
The house is heated by steam and
lighted by electricity.
BEAVERS BUILD FINE DAM.
Remarkable Piece of Work Near
Stroudsburg, Pa.
A remarkable beaver dam exists
near Stroudsburg, Pa. It was discov
ered about two years ago, beavers
having been supposed for years to
be extinct in the eastern states. Now
a special law has been passed by the
Pennsylvania legislature to protect
the Stroudsburg beavers. The dam is
located in a swamp, which for many
years had been drained of its surface
water, except in a few spots. Noting
that most of the swamp was under
water, although but little rainfall had
occurred, the curiosity of a neighbor
ing farmer was aroused and he made
un investigation which led to the dis
covery. The dam had been construct
ed around tho northern edge of the
swamp, extending in a zigzag course,
evidently to avoid obstruction and to
increase its strength. It is about 125
feet in length and the top is wife
enough for a man to walk upon with
out difficulty, ranging from a foot to
two feet in width. Further investiga
tion in tho vicinity showed that the
animals had felled a number of trees
near the dam to use in its construc
tion. The largest pieces yet found
in It are eight inches in diameter by
actual measurement. The principal
material used, besides branches and
twigs, was mud, which had been deft
ly worked into it so solidly that a man
weighing 235 pounds has walked upon
the top without affecting it. The
wood which has been used includes
beech, white ash and oak. In cutting
the trees tho animals worked in a
circle around the trunk, making deep
er indentations on the side toward the
dam so that the trees would fall into
the water in the proper direction.
Disappointed Archeologists.
Bourke Cochran is airing an amus
ing anecdote picked up during his
European trip. It seems that two
distinguished archeologists made an
excursion to the Isles of Arran, where
interesting remains of an archcolOgl
cal nature exist. They camo across a
little rough stone building, and both
entered into a fierce argument as to
the exact century of its erection, one
maintaining it was built in the fifth,
and the other in the sixth century.
A native who had listened to the
hot discussion suddenly broke in:
"Arrah, yer Honors, both of yeze are
wrong. ’Twas put up three years agj
by Faisy Doolan for his jackassl*"—
1 New York Times.
•
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GOAT HAD PAPA’S HAT.
But Former Owner Had No Further
Use for It.
From Rockaway comes a sad tale
involving a pearl-gray hat, a billy
goat, a small boy, a fond papa and the
sea. The fond papa owned the pearl
gray hat, and it really was a thing of
beauty. One day ho was promenad
ing the beach with his little son and
the wind cruelly swept the hat into
the ocean.
Two days later the small boy saw
a young man driving a miniature
laundry wagon drawn by a sturdy
billy goat. Ou the goat’s head was a
pearl-gray hat, a trifle dilapidated,
with holes pierced to admit the pas
sage of the goat’s horns. The small
hoy recognized that hat.
“Hold on, there,” he shouted. “That
goat’s got my papa’s hat."
The driver stopped and the fond
papa came up to see what was the
matter.
“Papa, the goat's wearing your
hat,” sobbed the small boy.
“I fished the hat out of the surf,”
explained the driver, who was inclined
to dispute possession. “I claim it's
mine—or the goat’s.”
“Well," said the fond papa, as he
gazed ruefully at his lost headgear,
“I’ve bought a new hat, but the goat
can have that one. The devil himself
wouldn’t take It—and he wears horns,
too, I've heard.”—New’ York Press.
Sunset Guns.
Mr. Bascomb had seen wonders
enough for his first day away from
Banbury, but just as he had settled
his tired head against the back of a
lounging chair, he heard a distant
boom.
“What’s that?” he demanded, start
ing up.
“Oh, 1 hat’s the sunset gun, Uncle
Ezra ’’ said his nephew’s wife, in a
soothing tone. “It goes off just as the
sun rises and sets.”
Mr. Bascomb’s mild face took on a
look that approached hostility.
“I've seen your talking machines
and electric bell pulls and under
ground rails and overhead trusties
and kerriflges kiting here and there
with no hoss nor other signs o' draw
ering power,” he said, resentfully,
“and I've set myself to believe all
you’ve told me. But I’ve seen the
sun all my days in Banbury, and I
know there ain’t strength enough in
it when it's setting or when It’s ris
ing to tech off a gun, without there’s
works going on in this place that
ain’t Scriptural nor fitting.”
POPE'S CHOICE OF TITLES.
Events Which Have Influenced Pon
tiffs in Their Selection.
New popes are sometimes influ
enced by incidents of their boyhood
In selecting the titles by which they
desire to be known. Thus l^eo XIII.,
when in his teens, presented an ad
dress to Leo. XII., and the event so
stamped itself upon his memory that
it determined his choice of a title
when be was called to the chair of St.
Feter. Some similar recollection, it
is likely enough, suggested the de
cision of Cardinal Sarto, and not,
as has been too readily assumed, a
desire to give an indication of his
prediliction for the policy of Pius IX.
Between the last pontiff who bore the
name of Pius and the present one
there is a striking resemblance mus
ically, for Pius IX. was also a pro
ficient player on the piano and organ
and possessed an excellent barytone
voice. His singing of mass was a
musical treat, but he suffered agonies
while his intimate friend Cardinal
Manning was similarlly engaged. ‘‘No
Englishman can sing mass decently,”
was his criticism on one of these oc
casions.
The Red Sea.
Here is an interesting theory: What
made the Red Sea red? The blood of
locusts. Read a few lines from Exo
dus: ‘‘And the locusts went up over
all the land of Egypt, and rested in all
the coasts of Egypt; very grievous
were they; before them there were no
such locusts as they, neither after
them shall be such. For they covered
the face of the whole earth, so that the
land was darkened. • • * And
the Lord turned a mighty strong west
wind, which took away the locusts,
and cast them Into the Red Sea; there
remained not one locust In all the
coasts of Egypt.” The Red Sea to
day is no more red than any other
sea. Its reddening was temporary.
How the Fiddle Acted.
During a recent trial spin of Sham
rock III. a violinist on a passing boat
serenaded her, whereupon Designer
Fife said to Sir Thomas Lipton:
“Every time I hear a fiddle I remember
a description of the instrument given
to me by an unsophisticated country
man. He said: ‘It was the shape of
a turkey and the size of a goose; a
man turned it over on its back and
rubbed its stomach with a stick, and
by the powers, but it did squeall*”—
New York Times.
I.EBUKE FOR AN UPSTART.
Attorney General Griggs Was Afraid
of Turning His Head.
When John VV. Griggs was attorney
general in President McKinley’s cab
inet he broke a long-established pre
cedent in his department. He de
term 1 ned to break his callers of the
habit they had of addressing him as
‘general.”
"I have no claim on the military
title,” said Mr. Griggs.
One Insistent politician (paid nc
heed to the attorney’s reqn-st. He
considered "general” a good jolly, and
by this means persuaded Mr. Griggs,
as he thought, to find a position for a
friend.
"How does your friend like his
job?” asked the president's legal ad
viser a few days later.
“When 1 told him what you of
fered,” said the politician, "he turned
up his nose. Haven't you something
better for him, General?”
"I have,” and the attorney general
smiled as does a man whoso oppor
tunity lias come, “but 1 cannot offer
it. If this position has turned your
friend's nose a better one will turn
his head.”
Thereafter the politician and liis
friend referred to him as Mr. Griggs.
WRECKS OF WALL STREET.
• "
Men Ruined for Business by Specula
tive Operations.
“Wall street leaves an ineffaceable
stamp upon a man.” said a New York
lawyer thp other day. “It isn’t so ap
parent when he Is on the crest of the
wave, for he spends his money freely
and no one questions his means of get
ting it. Hut when he goes broke! He
is absolutely unfitted for getting on his
feet unless he ean do it in a day. He
has been accustomed to seeing for
tunes won and lost In a few hours, and
he can’t see why fortune will not
knock at the same door twice.
‘ “I know a man who went broke In
a crash six years ago. He is a good
business man when not imbued with
the fever of speculation. He could
obtain a good position at $3,000 a year
But he would have to work, and work
bard to earn his salary. So he is look
ing for ‘easy money’—to make his mil
lion in a year. Consequently he has
borrowed from his relatives until they
arc1 tired of him. They want him to
go to work. But I doubt whether he
will view the matter in the light they
do until it is too late and the last
golden opportunity has slipped away
from him and left him a speculative
and misanthropic wreck.”
I Loved You So.
T lovcil you so—I was so young, you see.
There lay no guile between my love and
me,
I gave you all my spirit eotild bestow ■
1 did nut stop to think—I loved you so!
I loved you so—I was a helpless thing.
My heart, a harp responsive in each
' string
’I'nto your touch, and yet you did not
know
‘Nor understand then, that I loved you so.
T loved you so! My trembling lips were
dumb,
My being abject, pleading, overcome.
How could 1 voice the useless word# that
BO
To tell of loving when—I loved you so?
d loved you so, T could not smile, or part
My lips to breathe the passion in my
heart.
I dared not lift my eyes—their overflow
Would then have told you that I loved
you so!
I loved you so—and now, is love well
worth
The years and tears of sorrow since its
birth ?
A thousand times again I'd undergo
Love's crucifixion, for—I love you so!
- Annulet Andrews, in New Orleans
Times-Uemocrat.
Thought He Needed Something.
Prof. K. H. Chittenden, director oj
the Sheffield Scientific School and pro
fessor of Physiological Chemistry at
Yale, has been very much Interested
lately In the theory that people eat
more food than is required, and would
be not only healthier, hut able to ac
complish the same amount of work or
exercise if they ate less. He has even
gone so far as to try the experiment
on himself.
While summering at a fishing resort
in Maine he ordered for his usual sim
ple bteakfast a cup of coffee.
The waitress looked puzzled, hut
brought the coffee, asking If that was
all. Upon his replying In the affirma
tive, she suggested sympathetically:
“Don’t, you want a doughnut?"—New
York Times.
What a Swimmer Says.
This is the advice of an old swim
mer to those who cannot swim: “Any
human being who will have the pres
ence of mind to clasp the hands behind
his back and turn the face toward
the zenith may float at ease and in per
feet safety in tolerably still w'ater
When you first And yourself in deep
water you have only to consider your
self an empty pitcher; let your mouth
and nose, and not the top of your head
be the highest part of you, and you are
safe. But thrust up one of your bony
hands, and down you go—turning up
the handle tips over the pitcher.'
There is reason and logic in this.
Hie Slur at Chicago.
Miss Gladys Deacon has been re
peating of late, with considerable
scorn, the characterization of Chicago
that an Englishman recently made foi
her.
"Of course," Miss Deacon said, "the
Englishman was wrong, but he was
rather amusing. He said:
•• ‘There are two classes in Chicago, I
the aristocrats and the common peo- ■
pie. The common people are those
who kill pigs. The aristocrats are
those whose fathers killed pigs. Touch
on pork any where in Chicago and
tney all bristle up.’ ”
I Axiomatic.
"Be doctors say now date people
injure deie health by bathin’ too
much.”
“Wall, de doctors don’t know much,
but once in a while dey stumble onto
a intelligent idee. Wldpeople bath.
In' every day and people dyin’ every
day, anybody wid any sense oughtei
see dat water is a good t’ing to keep
out of.”
Atl UP-TO-DATE HOUSEKEEPERS
TT«e Red Cross Ball Bine. It makes clothe*
clean and sweat as wheu new. AU grocer*.
King Peter’* First Order*.
King Peter has conferred the order
of the White Eagle—the highest in
Servia—upon his sons, the Crown
Prince George and Prince Alexander;
bis brother, Prince Arsen Karageorge
vitch, and upon his nephew. Prince
Paul. These are the first orders con
ferred by King Peter since ascending
the Servian throne.
To Cnre n Cold in one day.
Take Laxative Bromo Qninine Tablets. AU
druggists refund money if it fails to care. Hoc.
Mary Anderson’3 Chickens.
At her home In England Mary An
derson Navarro has become a most
successful raiser of chickens. She
does not sell hf,r chickens nor her
eggs, but after her own table has
been supplied and her friends have
been generously remembered she dis
tributes the remainder among the
poor.
Why It Is the nest
is because made by an entirely different
process. Defiance Starch is unlike any
other, better and one third more for 10
cents.
Hard Prcesed.
Ruth—And so you have accepted
Peey? I thought you decided to re
fuse him.
Kate—So I did: but he kept press
ing me and pressing me for a favor
able answer until I—I—
‘‘Surrendered at discretion?”
“Oh. dear, I don't know! I fear it
was an Indiscretion!”
I do not believe P'.no's Cum for Conroaptlen
css an equal for coughs and colds —John W
Butih. Trinity Springs. Inc.. Feb. 16. IWu
Tea is Russian Beverage.
There are always tea peddlers about
a Russian station. Tea is brought to
the windows at the stopping of the
train; it is also served in the depots,
and is drunk at ail hours of the day.
The Russians have better tea and
more of it than any other people of
Europe.
After locking your family skeleton
in the closet hide the key where your
neighbors cannot find it.
W. L. DOUGLAS
*3.23 & *3 SHOES SSS
You can save from $3 to $6 yearly by
wearing W. L. Douglas $3.60 or $3 shoes.
They equal those
that hare been cost
ing you from $-1.00
to S5.00 The im
mense sale of W. L.
l>ouglas shoes proves
their superiority over
all other ma'ios.
Sold by retail shoo
dealers everywhere.
Look for name and )
price on bottom.
That OoDflnt uses Cor
OnaColt proven there li .
vslae In Itonirlas shoes. A
Corona Is the hlfhent I
f r*'le Pat.Leather made. H
r ast ('nltw t Oc
QHt Edge Llneeannnt be equalled at ar.q puce.
Shoe* by wail, £5 rent* extra, illtut rated
Catalog free. TT. L 1)01(1 LAS, Brockton, Mam.
Every housewife gloats
/over finely starched
JInen and ..white goods:
Conceit Is justifiable
fetter using Defiance
5tarch. It gives a; J
Stiff, glossy white-' I
ness to the clothes I
land does not rot I
[them. It is abso- E
lutely pure. It Is %
the most economical 1
because It goes 1
farthest, does more ]
And costs less than
THB DEFIANCE STARCH CO.,
OMAHA. NEB.