Leup City Northwestern
GEO. E. BENSCHOTCR, Ed. a.id Pub.
LOUP CITY, - - NEBRASKA.
Harry Lehr should be careful or ha
Pill sprain bis wrist.
Milwaukee has taken to golf. What
Is the matter Pith penuehle?
Women may live longer than men,
hut do they jive as much while they
are at it?
They are lawyers, not dentists, mind
you. who are going into the Sawtooth
mountains.
The philanthropist is still undiscov
ered who gives his money back to the
people be got It from.
That she may be In still finer fettle
to fight for peace, Russia orders an
other bunch of warships.
Diamonds have gone up 20 per cent
In price this year. This Is a sympa
thetic strike of another kind.
• Russell Sage is 88, but those who
tried to take money away from him
report that he is not childish.
A Berlin physician makes the claim
that arsenic will cure cancer. If
taken In large enough doses It will.
Lott Dillon is a terribly fast young
thing, but there is still quite a gap
between her and the two minute mark.
The matter of preserving seal life
in Bering sea has very appropriately
been referred to a high joint commis
sion.
Your dollar will buy a reserved seat
at the circus Just as quick as John
Rockefeller's dollar. But he‘ has the
dollar.
In time the name of the man that
made the arctic fox flea famous will be
forgotten, but the fame of the flea
will abide.
A mackerel weighing 800 pounds has
been caught off Newport. Trying to
keep up with the size of the jags in
that vicinity.
The chewing gum trust has a sur
plus, after paying dividends, of $776,
000. The new* has set a great man?
other jaws wagging.
It must make the women golfers of
Halifax feel like swearing to have that
Halifax clergyman accuse them of
swearing on the links.
It appears that the New York fruit
handlers are engaged in a banana war
They certainly have their troubles
bunched to begin with.
Lilliam Russell has an automobile
adventure every little while now. The
automobile is apparently taking the
place of the lost jewels.
Spine real distress, nevertheless,
has been caused by the slump In
stocks. It has cut a lot of promising
stimmer vacations in half.
When you learn that those cigars
you have been buying so cheaply w'ere
smuggled you wonder, with some in
dignation, why they were not sold still
cheaper.
The debts of Alexander and Braga
are $80,000. They will now be paid.
Perhaps the massacre was not a mat
ter of politics after all. It was very
businesslike.
Presently the orator who wants to
make a hit will refer to the boys not
as the future governors and Presidents
but the future farm hands of our
glorious country.
It is reported that Andrew Carnegie
thinks of starting a newspaper in
(Jlasgow. This is the first intimation
we have had that Andrew also hank
ers for strenuosity.
The latest system of wireless teleg
raphy is also poleless. Unhappily this
fact does not mark progress, so far as
the message senders are concerned,
toward the costless.
That. Philadelphia grocer who was
found selling green tomatoes which
he had painted red must be aspiring
to a place in history side by side with
jhe man who invented wooden nut
megs.
There is a girl in Chicago who has
worked thirty-one years for the same
family. Why should a girl like that
have to work tor a living? She ought
to be able to get big money from the
museums.
‘ The bos Angeles Herald says that
the new twenty-two-story building of
the New York Times will be equipped
with a special private stairway for
poetical contributors. Why not use
the elevator shaft and save time?
"Fighting Bob” Evans has been re
ceived in the throne room by the em
ppror and empress of (bins, but the
chances are good that he would rather
be traveling around with Prince
Henry, or off Sandy Hook keeping the
course clear for the racing yachts,
not to mention commanding the Iowa
in the battle of Santiago.
ft Is awful the way social duties
are telling on people at Newport. Some
of them hare to get up as early as 9
and 10 o'clock In the morning to keep
up with their engagement*. _
CUPOLA.
SKETCHED
Ay BYPON WLUAT15
THE WILD ROSE.
Oh, a wild rose bloomer) In a fair retreat
Where aephyrs gently blew.
Flooding the nook with her Incense
sweet— '
QLeen of a scented crew.
Rut coyest of all was this wild rose
uueen.
With her dainty petals fair,
When the west wind came with his woo
ing keen
A true love to declare.
And day by day through the springtime
fleet.
He sought In lover’s mood
To lay his heart at the rose's feet
Near the border of the wood.
Thus in sun and shade did the west wind
flee
To preserve his courting sway.
While the wild rose bloomed to matu
rity
And loved In her rosy way.
Ah! she gave herself to the atnTous wind.
As he sped the west land down:
And the bold groom blew the rose away
To the rolling fields of brown.
He kissed her cheeks in a merry race
Throughout the livelong day.
But at dusk he tired of her fragile face
And carelessly sped away!
fnlo the clods of a serried field
She fell with fragrance spent.
But the west wind never a sigh did yield
For the flower innocent.
In the chilling field, all torn and rife.
The wild rose drooped and died.
But the angels wrote in the Book of Life
Of a floweret sanctified!
Newspapers are all right In their
way, but the trouble with the great
THE LOCAL NEWS.
Journals of intelligence Is that they do
not give the local news. In fact, it
if only over the back yard fences of
this eventful and excitement pro
ducing country that news is news.
The newspaper reporter smart enough
to play eavesdropper to back alley con
fidences, will copper to enough news
to make his paper famous in two Is
sues. Of course, he must take his
own chances on enduring to enjoy the
fruits of his labors, but living he will
have only again demonstrated his ex
traordinary ability.
TOti KNOW HIM.
From morn HU night, despite the law,
The hose plays on the grass;
It waters ^everything in sight,
including thoge who pass.
From endless stream it spurteth wild.
With not a curb or calk;
It showers etery one who dares
To tread upon the walk!
Pedestrians are drenched and wet.
From dainty toe to wig
A has! the man that wets us all
With his old sprinkling rig!
n?
ADVICE TO NEWSPAPER MEN.
(treat care should be exerted in
choosing your country correspondents,
for much depends on whether or no
the rural Journalist writes on both
"ABOl T TO DROP A LINK,
sides of the paper. It Is aiao advisable
to choose as correspondents those
farmers who are nol*d for their lib
eral Sunday dinners. Herewith we
present a typical correspondent “about
to drop a line.”
At an Indian wedding in Oklahoma
recently the bride wore pink silk
foulard with pink ribbon sash, blue
collar and cuffs, black hat with yel
low and lavender trimmings, a green
veil and black gloves. The groom
wore the customary black minus his
coat, the day being warm. Hiawatha
and John are still some degrees re
mote from entrance into 400-society.
NOTICE.
Employes of this print shop who
wipe on the office towel are hereby
notified So wash first. We have posi
tive proof that the devil and the roller
boy have been using this aid to civil
ization with an entire abandonment
of all rules and regulations of the of
fice chapel. Unless such uncleanly
habits are rectified at once, this towel
will not be washed next Christmas, as
THE TOWEL BEAUTIFUL,
customary. There is no use trying
to keep toilet articles clean when the
simple annals of cleanliness are
abused by certain members of the
force.
P. S. Too. will the young lady typos
please clean the office comb of long
hairs after using It. This will be ap
preciated heartily by the married men
of the office. P. Scribblitis,
” Priwilly i* a pretty maid. "
"Indeed she is quite"
"stunning/ And when ”
"she sweeps along the"
" rurb.the chappy bovs "
" comes running. Pris- "
•' ittlltZtll ”
"rilly'* pa gave her a "
" purse to buy some"
" i x t ; x nut "
" needfuls trifling. Then "
** *Cilly to the nty went "
" and there began her rifl- "
" i n g . She traded"
"here and traded"
" theie. and shopped to suit "
" her fancy. Then home- "
"ward she did swiftly fly "
" to show her dear Aunt "
" Nancy. Aunt Nancy "
"gasped in"
"sad alarm,"
" at dear Prisrilly "
"shocking. She"
" i t 111 11 "
" ttttxt "
" bad a hundred pairs "
" like this here peek - a - boo "
"stitch stocking. The Moral—**
" Gentlemen should not rubber. *
" Ladies never dc. "
One Samuel Tilden, of Brooklyn,
knows where there is a cave full ol
treasure; that is. he gives his word.
According to Sara, the wealth lies
buried on one of the islands of the
Tahltan group. He seeks a capitalist
to join him in an expedition. Any
reader of “Cupola Sketches’* who de
sires to get rich quickly and who ha*
sufficient means to back up his desire*
may communicate with Samuel with
out first paying for this adv.
S 5
A RUDE SHOCK.
In the river, at 'The Point,"
Forty kids are splashing.
Sun upon their reddened bucks
In tne daylight hashing.
Round the bend the boarders come,
To the boat-house flocking—
Malden's gasp? The modest faint!
Oh, how awful shocking
Then from out a boyish' throat.
In a voice of thunder.
Comes one stern, affrighted cry—
"Hully chee, duck tinder'”
•mr.N YE. JEREMIAM. CAINT Y»
REASON NONE?”
Little words of reason
Spoken to a mule.
Oft wilt curb his anger
And his passion cool.
Hut 'tls well to argue
At a Jasack's head—
Saves a heap o' huntin'
For the long lost dead!
5 } 3
indigestion is the cause of three
fourths of the marital troubles In th«
country. The wife hands the husband
apple dumplings that won’t digest, and
1 he hands tack nettlesome words
Then she hands him the broomstick
the lawyers get their hands in and thi
court hands one or the other a di
vorce. Moral—Young women should
learn to cook.
IN CIUDAD BOLIVAR
NOT AN IDEAL SPOT FOR THE
NERVOUS INDIVIDUAL.
Inhabitants of Venezuelan Town He-'
er at a Loss for Excitement—Every
House Easily Turned into a Fortress
Ciudad Bolivar, the scene of the
Venezuelan revolutionists' last stand
..gainst Castro's army, is an exciting
I place to live in, even at the best of
limes.
"It is a semi-civilized spot on the
verge of the unknown jungle," said a
New Yorker, who has been there. "I
was condemned for my sins, to spend
a week there shortly before the town
fell into the hands of the revolution
ists last year.
"I noticed that if anybody went out
after dark he always stuck his revolv
er in his belt, and I was warned by
several friendly citizens not to stay
out late in the streets unless 1 wished
to be held up and pernaps murdered.
"It was a paradise for the adventur
ous. One day I saw a rum-shop keeper
chase the local barber down the street
with a loaded pistol in one hand and
a machete in the other. I offered up a
prayer for the tonsorial artist, be
cause I had no razor and he was the
only one. Luckily he escaped.
"The trouble was about an overdue
account. The purveyor of liquid joy
was simply trying to collect his money
according to the approved local cus
tom.
“Another day an imprisoned revolu
tionist escaped from the cuartel, or
barracks, and a couple of soldiers ran
out to stop him with bullets. He got
one in the leg and pulled up howling.
The people thought the revolutionists
had come, so in a trice shops were
shut, doors bolted, and everybody dis
appeared off the streets like magic.
"The doors and shutters of the mer
chants’ stores are made of sheet iron.
When they are closed the stores be
come veritable fortresses.
"Most of the private houses are sim
ilarly protected, and have little grilles
through which the inmates can spy
out to see whether visitors are ene
mies or friends. Truly, a soothing
place for a nervous man to live in.
“When the shots were fired at the
runaway I happened to be in the Brit
ish consulate, spinning yarns with the
Vice-Consul. Immediately he heard the
shots he locked his safe, the clerk shut
and barred the steel doors, and then
we got our revolvers and went out on
the balcony to see the fun. But it
was all over in a moment, and the
l»oor,wounded wretch was dragged
roughly along the street back to the
cuartel.
"Ciudad Bolivar is probably the hot
test place on earth. It is built on sol
id black rock which retains the day’s
heat far into the night, so there is
practically no respite. New York's re
cent heat wave would have been wel
comed as a cool spell by the inhabi-'
tants of the Orinoco hades.
"All day long one is plagued by myr
iads of mosquitoes more aggressive,
even, than those which have made
New Jersey famous; and at night bat
talions of frogs croak horridly and
murder sleep.
“The walls of the houses are badly
pitted with bullet markg—-grim relics
of former revolutions—and many are
in ruins. Ciudad Bolivar has often
been a battlefield before to-day.
“The streets are unpaved, and in
the center of each there i& a green,
stagnant ditch. Where stre-ts inter
sect, a plank is thrown across to
bridge these ditches.
“There are no vehicles, and indeed
very little civilization of any kind. The
place is always swarming with nickel
plated generals and bandit soldiers,
who fatten on the unfortunate inhab
itants, sip aguadiente, smoke their
eternal brown cigarettes and discuss
the glorious victories they are going to
win."—New York Sun.
The Oldest Ship in the World.
The time was when American ships
carried a broom at the masthead (fol
lowing the custom of the Dutch) as
a sign that America swept the seas,
writes Broughton Brandenburg in Les
lie's. In those days fine shipbuilding
timber grew right down to the shore
of the Atlantic coast, and there was
hardly a bay on the >»’w England
shore where there was not a ship
building yard. So it happens that
most of the old sailing ships are built
of American or Norwegian timber.
I have seen hundreds of old Fquare
riggers roaming the world under
strange flags whose every stick grew
on American soil. Ships built of Es
sex oak are famous for their iogevity.
The oldest ship in the world, the mail
schooner Vigilant, running into St.
Croix, French West indies*’is now un
der the French flag, but was built,
so I have been told, in 1802. of Essex
oak at Essex, Mass., and was long un
der the Stars and Stripes.
All They Could Raise.
The old colored man was wading
about his inundated farm in the flood
district.
"Look hero, boss." he said, rubbing
bis brow. “(Jo nature make eberytbing
to suit its surrenndin's?”
1 suppose so. Uncle Thad,” replied
the tourist. "Why?"
"Nuthin' much, only I was thlnkin'
det nature should liab supplied de
peoplq down lirah wid eq appetite foil
watah lilies."
New Nitrate Field.
The nitrate of soda, the important
element in fertilizers, in sight in the
recently discovered deposits in the
Mojave desert. California, is said to
lie more than 20,000,000 tons. Hither
to the only nitrate beds known were
those on the rainless coast of Chile.
PLAYED DEAF AND DUMB.
But Even Then the Lawyer Did Not
Get Silent SNMfe
“Experiments don’t alwnys terminate
■ r expected," said a Nassau street law
yer. “This morning I went to a
strange barber shop, and for the pur
pose of heading off conversation I
played deaf and dumb. As I entered
I put my fingers to work and went
through the motion of shaving with an
affirmative shake of the head; gave
the negative shake as I made ihe hair
cutting motions, shampooing gestures,
shoeblacking actions and. application
of hair tonic passes.
“Two idle barbers bowed in recog
nition of understanding me, and took
positions at their chairs, waiting for
me to makte my selection, which I did
by dropping into the first one.
“ ‘That fellow looks daffy as well
as dumb,’ said the barber who wasn't
putting soap in my mouth.
“ ‘I guess he’s all night,* answered
the one who was rubbing in all the
lather on one spot. ‘These dummies
always do act queer.’
“ ‘I bet he is too mean to give you a
tip.’
“ ‘He looks it,’ answered the shaver.
‘He will be a bald headed lobster in
side of six months. It looks as though
his wife had been playing ping-pong on
his bead.’
“ ‘Sell him some hair tonic,’ replied
the other. 'I will write and ask him
if he wants it.’
•'Til be hanged if you do!’ I cried
out. ‘Go on with the shave, and let me
get out of this.’
“The shave was completed—after a
fashion, and there wasn't a word spok
en during the rest of the process. The
tip was forgotten.—New York Herald.
WAS THIS DOCTOR A QUACKT
Cured a Patient of a Hallucination by
a Clever Trick.
We recall the case of an unhappy
wretch who came to Washington some
years ago imploring the doctors to re
lieve him of a snake which he said
he had swallowed while drinking at a
spring and which, as he violently de
clared, was devouring the coat of his
stomach. One by one the learned gen
tlemen examined him, satisfied them
selves that there was no snake—as,
indeed, there was not—and sent hjm
away with the solemn assurance that
he need not worry about it ahy more.
He continued to worry, however,
xnd when at last he found a physician
Who cared more about results than
etiquette he was on the verge of
actual Insanity. This great physician
soon perceived that he had to deal
with a hallucination, not a snake, and
proceeded accordingly. He employed
a colored citizen and a tin bucket.
Two hours In Rock Creek park brought
forth a garter snake of small size but
great activity, and an earnest and in
dustrious emetic did the rest. The
victim saw the snake wriggling In
the bucket and went home happy. It
Is part of the history of that period,
however, that the physician who
achieved the cure was loudly de
nounced as an outlaw, and consigned
to everlasting odium for unprofes
sional conduct.
We never heard that he lost the
confidence of the public on that ac
count, however, and as the fame and
the fortunes of medical men are made
by their practical achievements and
not by the approval of their fellow
doctors we rather think he profited in
the end,—Washington Post.
The Gospel of Must.
There is work in the world for the totfer
or dreamer
And the work that's at hand is the
work he should do;
And whether the toiler's mechanic or
schemer
The result is the crystallized “thing
that he knew."
I,et the thing be a good thing the world
Is the better—
If bad tis a pity the tools did not rust.
Good, had or indifferent, man is the
debtor
(So he'll tell you at times) of the Uos
p«l of Must.
"1 just had to do it!" cries weak-kneed
offender
■Gainst morality's haws, when he's called
to account.
"I had to!" the borrower say9 to the
lender—
So do Instances rise- there are any
amount.
Cruel fate is most kind in providing ex
cuses
For weak, foolish men who lie prone
in the dust—
And. while helping the wicked and fool
ish. traduces
A great and wise message, the Gospel
of Must.
The wise man must give of his wisdom
to many;
The man with great gifts always must
puss them on.
The good man forbears doing evil to
any—
Always must do what's right, and bid
evil begone.
Grim necessity cruelly tries every fellow
Who walks 'neath her banner. Ah,
heartless her thrust!
You must do right or wrong! You must
be red or yellow—
So the weaklings arc killed by the Gos
pel of Must!
—Pittsburg Dispatch.
His Debt to the Bible.
A frivolous visitor to the Fiji islands
said to a Fijian chief; “It is really a
pity you have been so foolish an to
listen to these missionaries. No one
nowadays believes in the Bible.” The
chief's eyes flashed as he said: “Do
you see tha* stone? There we killed
our' victims. Do you see that oven?
There we roasted their bodies for our
feasts. If it hadn't been for the mis
sionaries and the Bible you would
have met the same fate.”
Discourtesy
Madge—He tried to Kiss me. al
though we are not engaged. Dolly—
What made him think he could do it?
Madge—I suppose it was because ha
had been in the habit of calling on
you.—Judge.
Shame!
When a nftn's foot gets tangled up
with a woman's under the table and
she gets mad about it, you can make
her madder by pretending you thought
it was somebody else. .
Two English Speakers There.
British as well as American Cath*
dies will have but one repreaentaflvs
at the papal conclave. Cardinal Git*
bona, the American representative, it
already In Europe. Of the two British
cardinals, only one, Cardinal Logu^
the Irish primate, will be able to at
tend, as cardinal Moran, archbishoi
of Sydney, has no chance of reachlnng
Rome in time for the conclave.
Why It Is the west
Is becense mads by an entirely different
process. Defiance Starch 1* unlike eny
other, better end one-third more for 10
cents.
A woman who loved but once, and
madly loved on to the end, ought to be
canonized.
The man who admits that he Is sen
timental made the mistake of his life
in not having been born a woman.
Btopn tne I'ongli and
Works Off the Cold
Laxative Bronio Quini.je Tablets. Trice25a,
Man likes to believe in eternal pun
ishment—for the other fellow.
A man w ho 1b "so good” is real un
canny.
CITC penrsnesny roreci. jro uuor nerrnanenefts*
■ * * * #r«t d»*» uwor I>r. Kune * Orest KerreRett nr
er. Send for FRKK •3 00 Mel bottle end trrstbe.
On K. H tun. Lilt. K1 Anh Street, miedelehle.***
It takes two banana skins to maks
a pair of slippers.
Those Who Have Tried ft
will use no other. Defiance Cold Water
Rtarrb bee no equal in Quantity or Qual
ity—10 ox. for 10 cents. Other brands eon
tain onlv 13 nr..
Man often feels that be Is a sly dog
when, in reality, he is but a sorry cur.
ALL CT-TO-DATE HOUSEKEEPERS
Use Red Cross Ball Blue. It makes clothoe
clean and sweet as when new. All grocers.
If a poor girl has hair of the spun
gold variety folks say it looks like
streaked molasses candy.
It takes a genius to be a financier
without being the possesor of any
finances.
More Flexible and Lasting,
won't shake out or blow out; by using
Defiance Btasch you obtain better results
than possible with any other brand aad
one-third more for same money.
Love is like* smallpox. Sometimes
you escape, but it often leaves awful
scars.
A New Slot Machine.
The -slot” machine has entered a
new field. For a long time, by drop-1
ping a penny in its maw the gum
ehewer, the man who likes to know
what his exact avoirdupois is, the girl
who loves a lozenge and even the
quick-lunch man. hurriedly seeking a
sandwich have been accommodated.
But the new field is a wider one. The
diner in some restaurants can now, by
a new invention in the “slot” line,
rest ai ease while he takes his meals
and reads complacently between bites
the religious mottoes tin the wall, for
before he sits down he cafi go to a
box, drop a penny in the slot and out
jumps a key from another slot. That
key opens a closet ample enough for
his hat and coat. The very hooks on
which he hangs his clothes lock also,
so that even if the door of the closet
were opened the articles cannot be
hurried away with by anyone but the
owner.
Our Beef Croesuses.
The bigest beef man in the United
§tates had very humble beginnings.
Nelson Morris was a peddler in Con
necticut. and started business in Chi
cago with one hog. The late Gustavei
F. Swift began his career with one'
sheep in a small town in Massachu
setts. Philip D. Armour, too poor to
buy transportation to California by
ship in the days of the gold fever,,
traveled overland from Oneida, N. Y.,
most of the way on foot. He made
a few dollars on the Pacific coast dig-;
ging ditches to supply water for plac
er mines. These three men laid up
nearly $100,000,000 between them.
ABOUT COMPLEXIONS.
Food Makes Them Good or Bad.
Saturate the human body with
strong coffee and it will in timo show
in the complexion of the coffee
drinker.
This is caused by the action of
coffee on the liver, thus throwing part
of the bile into the blood,. Coffee
complexions are sallow and muddy
and will stay that way until coffee is
2iven up entirely.
The sure way to recover rosy cheeks
and red lips Is to quit coffee and drink
Postum Food Coffee which m^kes red
blood. "I had been for more than 20
years an Inveterate coffee drinker
and it is absolutely true that I had
so completely saturated myself with
this drug that my complexion toward
the last became perfectly yellow and
every nerve and fibre in. me was
affected by the drugs in coffee.
“For days at a time I had been
compelled to keep to my bed on ac
count oT nervous headache and atom
ache trouble and medicines did not
give me any relief. I had never con
sulted a physician in regard to my
headaches and terrible complexion
and I only found out the cause of
them after I commenced the use of
Postum which became known to me
through Grape-Nuts. We ail liked the
food Grape-Nuts and it helped us so
we thought Postum must certainly
have merit and we concluded to try
it. We found it so delicious that we
continued the use altogether although
I never expected it to help my health.
“After a few months my headaches
were all gone and my complexion had
| chared wonderfully then I knew that
my troubles had been caused by cof
fee and had been cured when I left
off coffee and drank Postum in its
place.” Name given by Postum Co.,
Battle Creek, Mich.
Postum will change the blood of
any coffee drinker and rosy cheeks
and health take the place of a yellow
ckin and disease.