Loup City Northwestern GEO. E. BENSCHOTER, Ed. and Pub. LOUP CITY, - - NEBRASKA. Charltc IT. Schwab is simply tired; tired spending money. It is fortunate for royalty that an archists are so frequently bad shots. Sig. Marconi continues to send mar cohigraras across the ocean through his hat. France is making the French duel, a felony. Ping-pong will surely come in as a misdemeanor. “Pennies long saved amount to dol lars at last,” said Franklin, and it is just as true to-day of cents. A big sturgeon in the New York Aquarium is reported to have com mitted suicide. Sounds fishy. The man who succeeds best is gen erally the one who has the talent to advertise himself most judiciously. We probably have to do the things we ought to a great deal oftener than we dare to do the things we want to.. Sometimes, says the Homely One, I thank the Lord for that I am not good looking, for then I might also be a fool. — The football fatalities, appalling ae they are. might have been worse. Sev eral games were unavoidably post poned. Chicago's gambling king is bank rupt. He admits, however, that other professional gamblers were the ones who got it. Another diamond mine has been dis covered in South Africa. Will some one please put an extra chain on the dogs of war? King Leopold's blast of defiance to anarchists is doubtless made by his comfortable assurance that anarchists are poor shots. An Eastern paper wants to know ‘‘What co-education has done?” Well, from all accounts, it hasn't done a , thing to Dr. Harper. Trains that can run a hundred miles in a hundred minutes are almost as common now as men who can eat thirty ducks in thirty days. ! • —- >: ( Gen. Uribe-Uribe has been sentenced to death. The wonder is how did he manage to live so long with a name to mention which is to disturb the peace. The Brooklyn genius, who has sec cured a patent for a nursing bottle holder for baby carriages, dreams of millions like Col. Sellers with his eye wash. Millionaire Clark offered $1,000,000 for his first grandson, and his son W. A. Clark, Jr., has won the prize. Has the czar or King Humbert tried this plan yet? __ The Seottish-Ameriean declares that the length of mourning for a mother in-law is six months’ crape and six months’ black. What man would' grudge the time? ; ___ Washington’s theater managers have decided to stop wasting money. They have voted to abolish window litho-j graphs and to advertise hereafter only; in the newspapers. Asia will probably derive more; pecuniary benefit from the visit of! President Schwab of the steel trust' than America got from that of the' Crown Prince of Siam. " I Since President Eliot has made the amende honorable it seems to be up to Mr. Gompers to explain that his al lusion to Judas Iscariot was meant' in a Pickwickian sense. — “The‘greatest blessing in life, no' doubt, is to give,” says Dr. LorenzJ And yet young Mr. Vanderbilt com plains that his father left him so much, money that there is no mission in life for him. Dried corn as an article of diet has caused tha separation of a husband and wife in Ohio. But this is a mere patch on the trouble corn has caused, throughout the world after it has1 soaked awhile. The way to a masculine heart from time immemorial has been via the* digestive apparatus, but it has re-! mained for a Hoboken lady to love and marry a man because of the pies1 he manufactured. A French army officer claims to have invented a gun that makes' neither flash nor sound nor Bmoke. Now let us have one that makes no' wound and we may listen for the com ing of the millennium. Gabrielle d’Annunzio, among other things, had seventy-two shirts and twenty-four dozen pairs of "quiet tint ed” Bilk underwear. And yet they tell us it does not pay to write poetry! ( John L. Sullivan is without his $1, 000,000. But the rich memories of the gorgeous time he had in blowing it in remain to cheer his declining years. Expensive lingerie works not for modesty. When a girl is wearing the finest of silk stockings, every street crossing looks muddy to her. PHILOSOPHICAll OBSERVAtONS By BYRON WILLIAM* Now Is the time when the old resident "awful winter of 1823”— or thereabouts. This was the Fame year all froze. You will re member it, no doubt, by^E, trade mark even thougl The Year you may not feel cert|it,^Bu how (jeep tj,e gnow was the The white haired nati^^K a fearful blizzard begai Pieplant Froze. October 13th and conHaa^BintiI the next May, wit! slight interstices of and Snnlig!it! Even tt think of it makes one shiver. It was •'Snov.lioilll,^Bjn(jpe(jt There were feu spelling bees in the country school houses thst,^®er an(j “thank-ye-mams’ were as thick as sturgeon's eggs on a caviar Tbe jce froze so deej in the rivers the fish wore all the fins off their and snow shovels, con trolled by a trust, were used only in the homes of^B. very rich. The yourn women painted summer scenes on the shovel and set them on the handle ends beside the mantels in the parlors. p^Bgn0W was s0 deep very little courting was done and the heads of famiV,«,^Bve(] greatly on the gaf and kerosene oil bills. The roads were almost 1^®gsable and the horsei got so frisky standing in their stalls that they their ^ip bones badly For years afterward horse traders told the a e Qj^B;ces by the white hail that came in after the hips had healed, and eveg ts day may be seen ar occasional old stud on the Lake Shore Drive of Ciijc^B thus marked! It wat a f-e-a-r-f-u-1 winter! Ice froze in the refrigerators,^® butter and beer wert kept in the range ovens for weeks at a time. Wells^Bgea!ed and cellars hac to be steam heated to keep the preserves from btin^Bg, Milk froze In the cows’ udders and we went without ice cream throu^But the long, lonesome days and nights of a calamitous season. But, prais^^B Old Sol, the warmth came at last and by July 4 the old residents were as til as ever asking casua acquaintances: "Well, is this hot enough for you?” Moral—It is always coldest just after the janitor one glass too many! Someone is responsible for a proposal party fad. TiBll who are enamored we would respectfully warn of an old custom—that of iBning bridges behind * It is well before attending onecB besc amorous affairs Who Invented to look well to the backward^fcek, that a reverse the English may be used if desirabjiB Many a young mat Proposal Party? of bright prospects and happy^fc-lucky associations has lived to be tongue-lashed h<|B modern Mrs. Rii Van Winkle because of a too early application of the tori® m the bridges ovei which he has passed to the home of a fair enamorata. ,\Bwe understand this proposal party a careless man who enters there has littiBhow of ever again seeing daylight as a Bohemian. He is saddled and bridB in the rosy efful gence of the back parlor and sent galloping out after theBig and a marriage license. He doesn’t wake up until about six months later Ben his wife wants a new something that costs a month’s salary. Then heBn see it all—the dainty invitation, the unique wording, the novelty of the Beption, the lights burning low, the incense, the tender, loving, cooing eonvBation, the glossj hair, the cheeks’ glow, the warm arms—and rash capituiatB. I,ike a simple ruralist he stood before the matrimonial fakir-wagon atdBought soft soap! Sadly then he takes up the married man’s burden and puBases a house on installments. Occasionally he wonders if Zantippe herself i®'t originate this proposal party business, and mourns because he burned hisBidges. Proposal parties are no end of fun if you leave your watch on the pB0 at home, keep your hand on your pocketbook and cut a loop-hole for erawBing. Otherwise it is a serious business and means nothing more nor less thB tacky benedict hood. Beware of the torch! When doctors disagree it is time, ordinarily, to embrace® faith cure. In this instance, however, you cannot substitute faith for a bathBnd the alterna tive perishes. The man who has so Beied himself to What To Do cold baths that he can break the lightBe scum on the in bosom of the miniature lake with hiBbare heel, and an Emergency. tumble into Boreas’ grip with one splBing gasp, is a brave citizen. He was nervous monB ago and his physician prescribed the cold bath cure. At the outset lie reBed and beside the icy tub resolved to die rather than take the plunge. He ®t touched the bottom of his foot to the water and shrieked. Then he tried Btting into the frosty fluid by degrees and felt his heart jumping out of his Bull as he suf fered himself to sink. Those were sad days of trial and not iBil he learned to hang over the tub with feet and hands and fall in all at cnceBas he happy. Then he soused about, shook a bit, soused some more and pBout into the warm air of the bath room feeling like a colt. His nervousneB disappeared but now he has the rheumatism and another physician tells himBte cold baths close the pores, throw the waste back into the kidneys andcauBhis ailment. He has been told that warm baths are enervating and he is, ir.Be inimitable words of Herr Wagner, the Prince of Pilsen, “Up aginst it!" » is thinking of trying the perfume habit and of abrogating baihs entirely eBpt on state occasions. Men work hard for power and pelf and, occasionally', we se*^Bome provi dent fellow working in the sunset of his life through force of habM Few men or women, however, love work for itself ®one. Tom Work Without Sawyer much preferred going in swimmiB to white the washing the fence about his home, and Mmv a boy Prize Incentive. has hoed potatoes with a heavy heart in sBter fishing time! To begin with, we don't take to^Brk as we do to play, but as we progress through life’s vale, we note that evMthing de pends upon work—work with the hands or the brain,—but work f® all that. Success is only attained through effort. Comfort, position, adulaMn of the many, are but the masterpieces of labor. We soon learn the less®, set our eyes straight to the front and upward, and work! Many overwoM in their *eal to accomplish great things, but these same toilers with the pBzes gone would work little. The fact is joy of work, independent of results, ilmost ex quisitely felt by those who don’t have to toil! The hobo that dikmed he was working and awoke with a cry of consternation, is not a fit iiBstration, but the fact remains that none of us are too fond of work because itSs work! Having successfully thwarted the liquor traffic in this country, ft is said Carrie Nation will go abroad and hatchet the hydra-headed monster infcngland and elsewhere. We don t believe Carrie is reifty plan Suspicions ning to do any such thing, but if sin- really is * would Still respectfully notify her that a few remnant* of the Linger Here. hellish traffic remain on the North Side of fthicago. Only last Saturday night we noticed a squft'e box with handle-holes in the end being carefully carried through the rearftoor of in apartment house on Winthrop avenue. It may possibly haw been ftinerai water, but the clinkety-clink of the mysterious contents did • i life beer bottles! And Sunday when we were out exercising our family rhinorero*n the Lake Shore Drive we saw a man hide behind a minnow pail an" drink from a long, black bottle. Of course this isn't proof positive of liquor being lid in this country, but if the tip is worth anything to the Kansas reformer le arc gratified. There is a man in Buena Park who has an awful red no=e to! Car rie! Don’t desert us and quit throwing water on the fire 0f our 'hirst tltil it has been quenched indeed! But then, on to England! The man who confessed to murder he didn’t do explains he ust coidn’t seep from lying! If much murder is committed we feel sur • someone slould warn the department store salesmen to keep Infrors When Prevaricating for a few days until the matter blow 0vc- Lyifr is Becomes said to be such sweet pastime with ,.m. people they Second Nature. prefer it to the truth. But of com annot al be in the newspaper business! Somehov. «e ,1 way steel terry for the modern Ananias! Nobody expects him to tell the truth an! to je eternally lying is no easy accomplishment—I am told, sot meuVre natural born liars. They can lie from the first note of the thr'-u n the f*ay lawn until the cuckoo clock chimes the hours of the early niornin ■ Man! a wife unconsciously owes her peace of mind to the smooth ala;- in -nd sulve truthfulness of mien assumed by her recreant husband, it i- U(,Ir TherJi8 10 possible excuse for stirring up family misunderstanding At last a genius has been born! He has Invented a comb that will nit !all from a lady’s hair. No matter what the provocation is or i,ov , ,„g*ed *P the fair one’s crinoline, the comb. |ikf. ‘the gt;3r An Inventor spangled banner, is still there! The fri/Z(s av cat<*i Who on Willie’s shirt studs or in his elk pin "?,!» th* Makes Good. precious comb sticks to Its work like an organ erindei Unexpected company may come, ma or pa mav drop i$ ilmost unannounced—verily the comb keepeth its own secret f,nd\i th it* mission well! The inventor bids fair to become very popular while ! grapl pie-tooth comb is already a Joy and a Cupid’s assistant. Now if aanJ tenlus will invent a bald cure for the shiny top of middle aged ha-hJL, he will have made good indeed! i I ; NOT A SERIOUS DRAWBACK Terence's Love Still Strong Despiti Loss of Tooth. Bridget was engaged to be married to a young plumber, Terence Dolat by name, and when, two weeks be fore the day se* fer the wedding, shi fell down the cellar stairs, she was in the depths of woe. "I’ve broke out one o' my front teeth.” she walled to her mistress “and my teeth has been my best beau ty, ma’am! Manny’s the time Tir ence has bad me show ’em to hit friends, and remarked how fine thej were! Oh, what'll 1 do? What'll ; do?” “Tell Terence all about it when he comes to-night, and I’m sure he'll saj he’s only glad you were not more se vercly injured,” said her mistress* but Bridget shook her head and re fused to be comforted. “ ’Twould be better for me if I’c broke some o’ my bones,” she said gloomily, “and maybe all of 'em.” That evening, after Terence had come and gone, Bridget appeared be fore her mistress, the gloom gone, anj her face set in a broad smile. “I towld him all about it,” she said gaily, “and he says to me, ‘What's a tooth more or less when it comes to cookin’?’ he says, careless like, and passed on to Cassidy's wake as ii ’twas no matter at all!"—Youth's Companion. MR. CANNON’S QUICK COUNT Illinois Statesman Saw No Reason for Tedious Delay. Last winter Speaker Henderson called Mr. Cannon to the chair on one occasion when a vote was to be taken on an amendment, the rejection ot which was a foregone conclusion. It was one of those amendments to an appropriation bill which was made merely as a record, as the member who moved it had no idea that it would be passed. About six votes were in its favor and the balance of those to be cast were against it. Mr. Cannon began counting, the long fore finger of his right hand shaking over the House as he was telling them off. "One—two—three—four—five-” he counted, when the tediousness of the process seemed to flash over him as he looked over the House and saw nearly every one on his feet. “Oh, h-, a hundred,” he ex claimed to the clerk, who was watch ing him in order to take down the number. Every one who witnessed the quick method of arriving at the vote en joyed it hugely. It answered every purpose and no one offered the least objection to it.—Washington Star. Six-Tenths Drunk. "The testimony of a policeman in the police court the other day caused quite a bit of laughter,” a member of the bar said to a couple of friends yesterday afternoon. "A man was on trial for violating the temperance clause of the vagran cy law, which means that he was charged with being an habitual Arunkard. “'How drunk was this man when you arrested him?’ the prosecuting attorney asked the officer when he was called on to testify against the man with the appetite for firewater. “ ‘About six-tenths drunk, I guess,’ the bluecoat replied. “ ‘How did you arrive at that con clusion?' he was asked. “ ‘Well, I heard the judge say the other day that ten drinks would make a man drunk, and this man had taken about six drinks before I arrested him,’ the guardian of the peace an swered in all seriousness.”—Wash ington Star. The Lord’s Intermediary. Along with the snug little fortune that Deacon Jones had accumulated as the leading grocer of Gooseville Cove, him bump of self-esteem, which was originally fairly large, had in creased proportionately, until, as the richest man in the Cove, he felt him self entitled to considerable deference —its patron saint, in fact. When one day good old Parson Abbeck went to him for a subscription to home mis sions—which ho got—he remarked: “Deacon. I cannot help noticing that your fellow-citizens seem to hold you in high esteem.’’ “Wa-al, yis," replied the Deacon, complacently; “guess that’s 'bout so. The Covers do look up to me. Parson, that's a fact; and I—well, I look up to God!" The Worm Turned. He loved her devotedly. He waa also bowlegged. Both facts gave him pain at times. He passed it by with a rueful smile, when she merrily said that his affliction gave him such an arch look, and that, after all, he was a pretty good sort when you got on to his curves. He bore it patiently when she referred to his walk as parenthet ical progress. But he rebelled and broke the engagement when she tailed her pet dog through the wicket formed by his legs. “I may not be so overly ornament al," said he, "but I emphatically ob ject to being made useful to unsea sonably early in the game!”—Smar< Set. Occupations and Color of the Hair. Dr. Beddoe has said that there is a distinct relation between man’s pur suits and the color of his hair. An unusual proportion cf men with dark straight hair enter the ministry; red whiskered men are apt to be given to sporting and horseflesh; while the tall, vigorous blonde man, lineal de scendant of the Vikings, still contri butes a large contingent to traveler* ^nd emigrants. ON A BLOCKADE RUNNER. Sir William Allan’s Experience in the Civil War. When fortunes were being made by British merchantmen running the blockade of Southern ports during th« American Civil War, Sir William A1 latr. who had served in tho engineer lng department of the British navy I signed as chief engineer on a mer chant steamer. London M.A.P. re peats a personal reminiscence of Sir William, which gives a good glimpse of those exciting time3. After a successful run into the Sa vannah river, the blockade-runner tried a second lime, and met with dis aster. One dark night, she was steal ing, with all lights masked, into Sa vannah, and ran plump into the arms of a Federal cruiser that was waiting for her in the darkness. "Stop your engines or we shall sink you!” was the summons from the cruiser, which had suddenly unshroud ed her lights and thrust out her gunt I close alongside. ”1 stopped the engines,” related Sir William, “and began to blow off steam. A boat from the Federal shij had come alongside, and suddenly ar officer rushed into my engine room and put a revolver to my head. H< was in a rage, and told me I had opened the valves and was trying b sink the steamer. I must close them at once. I asked him who he was, and he answered: “ ‘I’m the engineer of the steamer that has taken you.’ “ ‘I can't believe you are the eng neer.’ I said, ‘or you would have a spanner or an oil can in your fist. 1 r stead of tooling about with a pisto and you would know that I am onl; blowing off a bit of steam.’ ” At this cool reply the officer droppe: his pistol, and the two were soon god, friends. THE INFLUENCE OF HEREDITY Lilias Haggard. Aged Nine. Is Now in; Literature. Admirers of Rider Haggard’s wr* ings will doubtless be interested In knowing that his youngest daughter 9-year-old Lilias, who striking resent bles her father, already has develop^! a taste for writing. She has recent completed a romance in which most of the characters come to fearful en - In this, her first attempt, she shows the influence of her father's weird romances, says the Philadelphia In quirer. The Haggard family formed an in teresting picture at an ’’at home given by them recently at the Hal!. Ditchingham, England. Mrs. Hag gard, handsomely gowned; her eldest daughter, in white silk, embroidered with silver; the second daughter. Pol ite, who will soon be presented; the little Lilias, and the writer himself formed the home party. One of the guests was a brother of Mrs. Haggard, who is Consul in New Caledonia, and I the original of Captain Good, in "KiDg Solomon’s Mines.” The novelist, tali, loose-limbed, and j with a peculiar swinging gait, looking not unlike one of his own heroes, took his friends through the hothouses to look at the orchids. The love of those flowers with him amounts to a passion. He would rather talk flow-ers or farm ing than of literature or art. Colorado Celery for the East. Colorado celery is this year for the first time being shipped East. From an insignificant business of a few years ago it has developed to an enor mous industry. Three years ago such a thing as shipping celery to the eastern markets was unheard of. But i a few enterprising spirits decided to j make the experiment and were amply rewarded for their efforts. The re turns were so large that the next year they shipped nearly their entire crop East. Since then the business has developed rapidly, and this year will be’the banner season of them all Nearly twenty-five cars have been shipped, and a conservative estimate for the season would be that not less than forty cars will be shipped alto gether. As each carload will easily average 24,000 pounds in weight, it means that fully 900,000 pounds celery will be used for export trad* alone. The Fether’s Hand. I am a child In the darkness, A little frightened child, The winds are moaning about me. And the storm In my heart is wild. My fear would increase to terror, Only, wherever I stand. It is mine to feel, for my comfort. The clasp of my Father's hand. Duty lias ordered me forward, But 1 am afraid to go, The work Is too great for my doing So little 1 see and know; And yet I can find my courage And obey my I.ord's command And I'm not afraid to go onward With the clasp of my Father's ban* It is true that the end Is coming. And my mystery, like a shroud, Hangs over the parting waters: I should fear to enter the cloud. But that this Is my happy secret— As I wait awhile on the strand, Closer and yet more tender Grows the clasp of my Father s hand. — Marianne Farnlngham in c'lu**tlan World. Record of Life Saver. Sixteen children have been rescued from drowning this season by \Valtpr Turrell, a Yarmouth (England) ferry man, who has saved 29 lives gether. Our Losses in Spanish War. ^ The United States employed 274,717 men in the war with Spain. Her to tal losses were 107 officers and 2,803 men. God’s work must he done In Go(1 8 way.—Ram's Horn. D Or THE PACT. guarantee of the future i of the past, snd over SC? people have publicly Ustl poan’B Kidney Pills have m of numerous kidney tils, mon backache to dangerous and nil the attendant annoy* sufferings from urinary dis !Su They have been cured to Be d. Here is one case: I J. Taj lor, retired carpenter, Et 312 South Third St ine., says: “On the 25th da? t. 1897, I made an affidavit cob C. Mann, notary public, experience with Doan s Pills. 1 had suffered for ears, and was compelled at walk by the aid of crutches. Iv passed gravel and suffered tir.giy. I took every medi the market that 1 heard about e gave me temporary relief, taking Doan’s Kidney Piila results 1 gave to the public above referred to. At , on the 19th day of Jusy, make this further statement g the five years which have I have bad no occasion to use Doan’s Kidney Pills or any for my kidneys. The was a permanent one." TRIAL of this great kid which cured Mr. Tay be mailed on application, to of the United States. Ad Milbum Co- Buffalo. N. sale by all druggists. Price per box. men take a mean advantage wives by wearing their hair inter Use Allen’s Foot-Eas*. . Your feet feel uncom nervous and often cold and If you have sweating, sore feet t shoes, try Allen's Foot-Ease, all druggists and shoe stores. Sample rent free. Address Olmsted. Le Hey. S. Y. of a woman's mind Is not her husband's peace of mind. rP-ro-llAIE HOI SBKKRFKBS Cross Ball Blue. It makes clothe* sweet as when new. All gTocer*. receiver is sometimes as bad as Cure cannoi oe too highly spoken of sa cure —J. W. O Brisk. S23 Third ava, M.lu.. Jan. 6, laOd In old saws invariably rope scenes of their childhood. WHEN VtM 11 tV STARCH and get the best, 18 o*. for 0»ce used, always Uaed. theories are often mis for great principles. of us might be nappy if we suffer from disorders of the Then we ought to use Dr. Au Koenig's Hamburg Drops, which the disorders and bring the system to a healthy condition. has beens are bad enough. The t have beens are worse. --—- , THE ST. PAUL CALENDAR FOR 1903 sheets 10x15 Inches, of beautiful in colors, of pastel by Bryson, Is now ready for and will be mailed on re of twenty-five (25) cents—coin stamps. Address F. A. Miller, Gen Passenger Agent, Chicago. faster a man is the slower he ia paying his debts. is failure when both hus and wife make the discovery that have married beneath them. 120 MILLION BOTTLES 1 SOLD EVERY YEAR. V TRACE l MARK* \ ] ' Happiness Is the absence of pain, and mil lions have been made happy through being 1 cured ty St Jacobs Oil of RHEUMATISM, I NEURALGIA, TOOTHACHE, HEAD ACHE LAMENESS. SCALDS. BURNS. ! SPRAINS, BRUISES and all pains for which an external remedy can bo applied. It never falls to cure. Thousands who have been de clared incurable at baths and In haspltals have thrown away their crutches, being cured after using St. Jacobs Oil. Directions in eleven languages accompany every bottle. CONQUERS PAIN ... I W. N. U.—Omaha. No. 51—1902 tanrafl 4 All ELSE FAILS. Ilea. ( ough Byrup. Tastes Good. CM I ■ I_In time. Bold by druggists.