Brignts Witty Dctort.
W Once in the course of a speech which '
"as punctuated by interruptions in
parliament John Bright was saying:
' Personally 1 do not feel disposed to
wage war against these Philistines.”
"lien an unruly member of his audi
ence shouted “Heehaw!" “If, how
ever,' Mr. Bright continued without a
pause, “my friend at the back of the
ball will lend me one of his Jaws I
shall be encouraged to reconsider my
attitude, in view of the historic suc
cess of Samson when provided with a
similar weapon.”
Iowa Farms $4 Per Acre Cash,
balanuo # crop till paid, MUI.HALL, Sioux City, la.
An intellectual feast is a sorry
apology to an empty stomach.
ARE TOUR CLOTHES PADEOf
Use Red Crms Ball Blue an 1 make them
white again. Large i oz. package, 5 cents.
Don’t try to reform people; set
them a good example.
No one would ever ho bothered with con
stipation if every one know liow naturally
end quiokiy Burdock Blood Bitters regu
lates the stomach un<l bowels
Many an octogenarian can attribute
bis longevity to the fart that he never
called another man a liar.
Fiske Favored Going Around.
The late John Fiske, the historian,
was a man of enormous stature and
extremely sensitive about any refer
ence to his unusual size. On one oc
casion when he was visiting a friend
at his home in a beautiful town in
Connecticut the hostess and her daugh
ter invited Mr. Fiske to drive with
them one morning. The road was a
picturesque one, which winds along
the river at the foot of the mountains.
At one point the hostess suggested
that the party alight and walk a short
distance through the field to get a par
ticularly attractive view. Around this
field was a high fence, with no open
ing but a narrow stile. The ladies got
through and turned to wait for their
guest. For a moment he contemplated
the opening; *o squeeze through was
impossible, to climb over was equally
impracticable. Finally his deep bass
voice broke the silence: “Ladies, 1
think we would better continue our
drive."
Direction in London.
In London and throughout the
tight little island the words “up” and
“down” have a peculiar significance.
In going to London from any part of
England you go “up.” In traveling in
any direction from the capital you
go "down.” So In London itself every
thing goes “up” if it goes in the direc
tion of the bank—that is, the Bank of
England—and going from that center
toward any of the points of the com
pass is to go “down.”
The word bank, which is no\ only
always spelled with a capital “B,” but
is always uttered with an impressive
ness that sugegsta an inital letter of
the largest type, may be said to be in
a sense interchangeable with city, a
term of equal dignity and value in the
eyes of Englishmen, and likewise in
variably adorned with a capital “C.”
The City docs not mean London by
any means. It means a certain lim
ited section of London, the part where
business is mainly carried on and
where the great financial institutions
stand.
Helped Everybody.
Gainesville, Tex., Oct. 27th.—Mrs.
L. E. Burton, formerly of Eureka, Kan
sas, has been at B07 Gladstone street,
this city, for some time. While here
Mrs. Burton has been the means of
doing much good by introducing to her
sick friends a remedy which it seems
is very popular in Kansas, but which
has not been very much heard of in
this neighborhood. It Is called Dodd’s
Kidney Pills and in every case where
it has been used it has produced won
derful results.
Mrs. Burton has good reason to
speak well of Dodd’s Kidney Pills, for
they have done much for her and her
family. She says: “I must tell every
body what Dodd's Kidney Pills have
done for me and for as many of my
friends as have used them.
“I had a very bad case of kidney
trouble for which I had been doctor
ing for a long time without benefit. I
saw Dodd's Kidney Pills recommend
ed. I tried them and was completely
cured. My mother and my brother
were ill and they took them and were
soon well again.
"Dodd’s Kidney Pills have done
much for ua.”
Chinese at Columbia University.
Prof. Frederick Hirth has begun in
Columbia university the work of in
structing students in the Chinese lan
guage, written and spoken. Later he
intends to conduct courses on Chinese
literature and studies in the arts and
industries of the Orientals. Prof.
Hirth denies that a knowledge of the
Chinese language is particularly diffi
cult of attainment, though, as he re
marked to his first class, “students
must not expect to chat with their
laundrymen in a few weeks."
PI«a permanently cured. So fit* or nerToueueee after
rl I 3 n™t day'* uhnr Hr. Kline * Great Ner»« Kotor
ir. Send for KKKK •3.00 trial bottle an.l treatise.
Ha. li.. II Klixk, Ltd., Ml Arch Street. Philadelphia, P».
Hungarian Wives’ Wigs.
Here in Essex, Ludlow, Suffolk,
Broome and Delaney streets, says the
Now York Press, we meet a great many
women of all ages who wear wigs of
perfectly straight hair plastered to
their shaven heads. They are Hun
garian wives. The wig is put on im
mediately after the marriage ceremony
to tell their world that they are
wedded and faithful to their husbands.
The most beautiful hair is shaved off
end the head covered with the cheap
est of wigs in order to render these
women plain and unattractive to other
men. It is a religion to appear as
ugly as possible as a defense against
designing males.
“A dose in time saves lives ” Dr Wood’*
Norway Piuo Svrup; nature's remedy for
roughs', colds, pulmonary diseases of every
sort. ____
Never judge pictures and horses by
their frames.
GREAT AMERICAN TIE
PUMPKIN IS ONCE MORE THfc
MONARCH OF ALU.
Immencc Consumption of the Luscious
Dainty Throughout the Lend—Fig
urea Show the Extent of Its Won
droua Popularity.
The pumpkin pie is cace more
abroad in the land. On the counters
of the confectioners, in the windows
of the dairy lunches and on the em
bossed menus of the hotels where
wealth and fashion ilock, it again
takes its honored place, to gladden
with its presc ice the heart of old and
young.
New York—pre-eminent in most
things—is the greatest pumpkin pic
eating city in the world. During the
season, from September to February,
there are, on an average, more than
10.000 pumpkin pies a day cuten in
that city. Estimating each pi ? to con
tain live pieces, an army of something
like 75,000 pumpkin eaters musteri
daily.
To make 15,000 pies a day requires
25.000 pounds of pumpkin and 10,000
quarts of milk. Such dry, prosaic and
exact things as figure; are hardly in
keeping with the poetic pumpkin; but
it is interesting to figure cut the fact
that in the four month; or so during
which the pumpkin pie flourishes there
are about 3,000,000 pounds of the fiuit
used to make the pies which are eat
en in that city, and a million and a
quarter quarts of milk. With a pencil
and an imagination interesting figures
of the consumption of the United
States at large might be worked out.
In the days when p?opIe who are
now middle-aged were boys—for it is
to the male sex primarily that the
pumpkin pie lia3 always appealed—
pumpkins were raised as a "stolen
crop,” a few seeds placed at intervals
in a field of Indian corn or potatoes
often giving, besides the regular crop,
a ton of pumpkins.
But now the pumpkin, though still
to seme extent raised in the old way,
has attained the dignity of being con
sidered worthy to be raised for itself
alone. Pumpkin farms are numerous
all through the eoniral and New Eng
land states, and yield good returns to
their proprietors.
The largest pumpkin farm near New
York is in Monmouth county, N. J..
where a tract of 300 acres is given
over principally to the raising of pump
kins. The cultivation of the fruit, too,
is no longer a haphazard affair, but is
conducted on scientific principles, the
soil being thoroughly fertilized with
the special view of providing the kind
of richness needed in the pumpkin.
LUCK RESTORES A DIAMOND.
Found by Its Owner in Street Where
She Lost it Five Years Ago.
The luckiest woman in the west is
Mrs. Anna M. Scott of Denver, Col.
Five years ago, in returning from a
party, she lost a diamond earring
worth $200. In looking for something
else a few days ago she found the dia
mond in the street where she had
dropped it so long before.
Hundreds of persons had passed
over the spot in the meantime. Kain
and snow had buried the jewel in the
sai d, and at just the right time the
rain again washed the diamond clean
for Mrs. Scott to find it. Other per
sons had looked in vain, when it was
lost years ago.
“I was not looking for it,” said the
owner, “I was looking for a little ring
that my daughter thought she had
lost. As I could not find the ring. I
went over the ground rather carefully.
••Suddenly something sparkling
caught my eye and then I cried right
out loud, ‘Why, there's my diamond!1
"I was so surprised to see it that
I could really hardly believe that I
was awake, or that it was 1902 in
stead of 1897.”
Wedding Gifts in Coff i Box.
A young married woman in one of
the neighboring towns must be given
credit for originality in securing
means for transporting her wedding
gifts. Her new home is in a distant
city, and she recently returned to her
old home to pack her presents. The
problem presented itself of finding
something of sufficient size to hold
them. A boxmaker was consulted,
and it was found that it would cost
about $3 to make a box to order such
as she desired. Finally it was sug
gested that a common coffin box
might answer the purpose. The young
woman Jumped at the suggestion and
invested $2.50 in a long, plain pine
box. The neighbors of the young
woman's mother were startled to see
the undertaker drive up and take the
big, long box into the house. A num
ber of hurried calls were made before
the mystery was solved. The bride
says she will make good use of the
coffin box after she returns to her
home by utilizing it as a couch.—
Springfield (Mass.) Republican.
Strange New Herbs.
The gardens and fields of Yucatan
are filled with succulent vegetables
and odorous herbs unknown to the
outer world. In the cultivated fields
at the proper seasons ara grown
classes of Indian corn, beans, squashes
and tubers for which we have nc
name, for the reason that we have
never seen or heard of them, reports
the Pittsburg Dispatch. The forests
and Jungles contain fruits that, excel
lent even In their wild state, could be
made delicious by scientific care and
cultivation. There are half a score
of wild fruits that offer more promis
ing results than did the bitter wild
almond, the progenitor of the peach.
CASE NO. 30.611,
C. E. Cc'»s, Dealer In Grain and Feed;
Address, 505 South Water Street,
Akron, Ohio—Cured in 1896.
Mr. Boies says: "Ever since the
Civil War 1 have had attacks of kid
ney and bladder trouble, decidedly
worse during the last two or three
years. Although I consulted physi-!
cians, some of whom told me I was
verging on Bright's disease, and l was
continually using standard remedies,,
the excruciating aching just across
the kidneys, which radiated to the
shoulder blades still exited. As might
be expected, when my kidneys were
In a disturbed condition there was a
distressing and Inconvenient difficulty
with the action of the kidney secre
tions. A box of Doan's Kidney Pills,
procured at l.ampartcr & Co.'s drug
store, brought such a decided
change within a week that I continued
the treatment. The last attack, and it
was particularly aggravated, disap
peared.”
Cure Confirmed Four Years After.
Four years later Mr. Boies says: in
the spring of 18f‘G I made a public
! statement of my experience with
Doan’s Kidney Pills. This remedy
cured me of terrible aching in the kid
neys, in the small of my back, in the
muscles of the shoulder blades, and
in the limbs. During the years that
have gone by I can conscientiously
say there have been no recurrences of
my old trouble. My confidence in
Doan's Kidney Pills is stronger than
ever, not only from my personal ex
perience, but from the experience of
many others in Akron, which have
come to my notice."
A FREE TRIAL of this great Kid
ney medicine which cured Mr. Boies,
will be mailed on application to any
part of the United States. Address
Foster-Mil burn Co., Buffalo, N. Y. For
sale by all druggists, price 50 cents
per box.
Wickedest Man in New York.
"The" Allen (his name is Theodore),
who is called the "wickedest man in
New York,” is very sick, and there is
some hope that he may die. Allen is
xn extraordinary person, whose record
proves that law doesn't catch its chief
violators, for he has led a consistent
"riniinai life for most of ids TO years.
He recently said that, so far as he
’ouid remember, he had been arrested
lixty-eight timer, and indicted very
often, but never convicted of nny
•barge, although he is perhaps the
most notorious gambler in the city.
His pistol shot Ills partner in a gamb
ling house on Broadway, some years
ago, but Allen said it was an accident,
and the court accepted his assertion.
Booth Tarkington’s Sketches.
Booth Tarkington. the novelist, al
ways sketches his stories in pictures
before he writes them in words, and
ill of his stories lie hidden away in
picture former. He is unwilling to
■show these drawings even to intimate
"mends. His publishers have urged
him to allow them to use his own
irawings for illustration of his books,
but he wouldn't hear of it, wouldn't
even let them see any of the pictures.
At last he promised them one of the
Vanrevel sketches, but was canny
mough not to send It until too late
for insertion in the book.
Didn’t Recognize the Description.
.Judge W. H. Simmons, of San Fran
•isco, has an enviable talent as a story
'oiler, and has never been known to
relate a “chestnut” unless by request.
Due of nis yarns is of a citizens who
lied, leaving a somewhat unenviable
name. The preacher who was called
in to officiate at the funeral deemed it
his duty to eulogize the deceased. He
had proceeded some distance with his
laudatory remarks, when an astonished
friend of the dead man leaned over
to an acquaintance and whispered:
"Say. Billy, are there two funerals here
today?"
Marriage Lengthens Life.
That marrriage is more conducive to
long life in women than single life
is shown by the fact that of the thirty
two women of over 100 years, revealed
by Germany's last census, twenty-nine
were widows and one married, leaving
only two old maids.
scan ot Persia j'rpuiar.
Since ascending tbs throne vacated
by the assassination of his predeces
sor, Nassred Din, six years ago, the
shah of Persia ha3 shown himself to
be a man of progressive ideas. He
has greatly reduced taxation, organ
ized a postal and customs service,
built a university and several schools,
equipped telegraph lines, and, more
important still, has made it possible
fer his subjects to obtain justice in
the courts. He shows no taint of the
cruelty which so often characterizes
Oriental rulers, and altogether has
won from his people a measure of
personal loyalty and affection never
accorded to any of his predecessors on
the throne.
If you wish beautiful, dear, white clothes
use Red Cross Ball Blue. Large U 03.
package, 5 cents.
Noted British Sculstor.
Albert Bruce-Joy, who is sixty years
of age, is one of the most active of
English sculptors. He has given Bow
her Gladstone, Birmingham her Bright,
Westminster Abbey its Matthew Ar
nold, Stratford-on-Avon her Mary An
derson and has set up numerous other
statues in England and in America.
Born in Dublin, ho became a pupil of
Poley and studied three years in Home,
since when he lias traveled much in
America. He is one of the sturdiest
of vegetarians.
JUNE TINT BUTTER COLOR
makes top of the market butter.
If we could see ourselves as others
see us mirrors would be a drug on the
market.
Low Rates for HomcseekersI
On the first and third Tuesdays of
each month—One-way and Round
Trip—to the Great Southwest. Write
for illustrated literature and particu
lars. JameB Barker, Gen'l Pass. &
Tkt. Agt., M., K. & T. Ry., St. Louis.
A Preacher Sheriff-Elect.
The Rev. Charles S. Cummings, shcr
Iff-eleet of Androscoggin county,
Maine, proposes to enforce the prohi
bition law as rigidly as did the "par
son" sheriff of Cumberland county, the
late Rev. Mr. Pearson. Mr. Cummings
was elected by a large majority after
having been nominated by the repub
lican convention on the 202d ballot.
Stops the Cough and
Works Otf the Celil
Laxative Hrotuo Quinine Tablets. Price 23a
The Shah as a Chess Player.
The shah of Persia is probably the
best chess player of royal blood in the
world. Even when in Paris he found
time to indulge in the game every now
and then, but he says that Europeans
canr.ot play it. “It is a royal game, a
divine game,” he is reported to have
said the other day, “but it is a game
that was not made for Christians.”
Mrs. Wlmlown *ootTi1ng Syrup.
| For children teething, softens tnc reduces In*
Humiliation, allays pain,cure* wind colic. 25c a bottle.
The Irish Curse.
An Irish authority thus defines as an
expert the effects of a well delivered
curse: “The belief among the ancient
Irish was that a curse once pronounced
must fall in some direction. If It has
been deserved by him on whom it is
pronounced it will fall on nim sooner
or later, but if it is has not. then it
will return upon the person who pro
nounced it. They compare it to a
wedge with which a woodman cleaves
timber. If it has room to go, it will
go and cleave the wood, but if it ha3
not it will fly out and strike the wood
man himself, who is driving it, be
tween the eyes.”
Scold bend is an eczema of the scalp—very
severe sometimes, but it can be cured.
, Doan’s Ointment, quick and permanent ia
its results. At uny drug store, 50 cents.
—
Au "Edward Everett Hale Club."
Some of the Boston boys have
formed an Edward Everett Hale base
ball club. They wanted uniforms and
got up a raffle to raise the price. They
asked Dr. Hale to take 50 cents' worth
of tickets. He wrote back: “1 do not
like to subscribe, to what seems to me
a lottery. But I enclose $5 for the un
iforms. I am much pleased that you
formed the club and that you gave it
my name.”
A woman's first love affair makes or
mars her life.
Mrs. Tupman, a prominent lady |($|
of Richmond, Va., a great sufferer with
woman’s troubles, tells of her cure by
Lydia E. Pmfeham's Vegetable Compound.
“Dear Mrs. Pixkiiam: — For some years I suffered with backache,
severe bearing-down pains, leucorrlicea, and falling of tlio womb. I
tried many remedies, but nothing gave any positive relief.
“I commenced taking I.ydiu E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound
in June, 1901. Wheh I had taken the lirst half bottle, I felt a vast im
provement, and have now taken ten bottles with the result that I feel
like a new woman. When I commenced taking the Vegetable Com
pound I felt all worn out and was fast approaching complete nervous
collapse. I weighed only 98 pounds. Now 1 weigh 109J pounds and
am improving every day. I gladly testify to the benefits received.”—
Mrs. It. C. Tupman, 423 West 30th St, Richmond, Va.
When a medicine has been successful in more than a million
eases, is it justice to yourself to say, without trying it, “I do not
believe it would help me”?
Surely you cannot wish to remain weak and sick and discour
aged, exhausted with each day’s work. You have some derange
ment of the feminine organism, and Lydia Ik Pinklinm’s Vege
table Compound w ill help you just ns surely as it has others.
Mrs. W. II. Pelhaln, .Tr., 108 E. Baker St., Richmond, Va., says i
“ Dear Mrs. Pinkiiam :—I must say that I do not believe there is any
female medicine to compare with Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Cora
. pound, and I return to you mv heartfelt thanks for
what your medicine has done for me. lie fore
taking the Vegetable Compound I was so badly
l olf that I thought I could not live muen
K longer. The little work I had to do was a
sjL burden to me. I suffered with irregular
E menstruation and leucorrhcea, which caused
n an irritation of the parts. I looked like
one who had consumption, but I do r.ct look
like that now’, and 1 owe it all to your wonder
ful medicine.
“I took only six bottles, but it has mad©
me feel liko a new perron. I thank
„ God that there in such a female helper
^ as you.”
Ha fliArAfnrA. 1»a1:ava#1 ©T1
women who are ill that Lydia E. Pinkliam’s Vegetable Compound
is the medicine they should take. It has stood the test of time,
and it lias hundreds of thousands of cures to its credit. 'Women
should consider it unwise to use any other medicine.
Mrs. Pinkhnm, whoso address is Lynn, Mass., will answer cheer
fully and without cost all letters addressed to her by sick women.
Perhaps she has just the knowledge that will help your ease —
try her to-day — it costs nothing.
(hrnnfl FORFEIT If cannot forthwith nrndncc th« original letter* and ■ijnatares at
V HIIIIII wbuv« tei ..muiiiaU, which will prove tliclr absolute cenuineuean.
vWwUU L}tlla hi. i'mkliitui JUudlcine Co., ILjnu, Uuw
!'STANBERRY^NORMAir
I AND
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i 1 STAN BERRY. - - _M<880_UWI._
A Standard College for Young Ladies and uectlemen C
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Syrup.of Fi£s
tke-besf family laxative
It is pure.
It is gentle.
It is pleasant.
It is efficacious.
It is not expensive.
It is good for children.
It is excellent for ladies.
It is convenient for business men.
It is perfectly safe under all circumstances.
It is used by millions of families the world over.
It stands highest, as a laxative, with physicians.
If you use it you have the best laxative the world
produces.
Because
i
Its component parts are all wholesome.
It acts gently without unpleasant after-effects.
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It contains the laxative principles of plants.
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Its value is due to our method of manufacture and to
the originality and simplicity of the combination.
To get its beneficial effects — buy the genuine.
Manufactured by
San Frnnclsco. Cal.
Louisville. Ky. New York. N. Y.
FOR SALE BY ALL LEADING DRUGGISTS.