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About The Loup City northwestern. (Loup City, Neb.) 189?-1917 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 24, 1902)
Loup City Northwestern GEO. E. BENSCHOTER, Ed. and Pub. LOUP CITY. • - NEBRASKA. Bftfiil we fix our stoves over to bun eoU coal or Kansas corn? J retie explorers do not succeed la finding much except one another's re mains. Diamonds are worth $300,000,000 a ton. Remember this, and don't pay a cent more. Most of us know just how Explorei Baldwin felt when he found that h« was short of coal. No man can serve twro masters And it is harder still for any mac to serve two mistresses. Yet how many of us, even with a full complement of toes, could hav« done better than Peary did? Roumania is acting very much lfl:« the saucy little boy whose brother ii the biggest fellow in the school. Mr. Edison has just made anothei of his justly celebrated predictions, but the horse is still jogging along. St. Paul girls are organizing for th« purpose of marrying union met only. Get your working cards, boya The man who gets a wife from 3 matrimonial agency generally has rea son to believe that the camera lie: like sixty. Bogus Chicago matrimonial agents were lined $100 each, but they wll! need only four or five good victims tc get It back. If Peary is correctly reported, he thinks the north pole “can be reached for $200,000.” Even the north pole has its price! No, no. Sir Thomas, don't try any balloon trips across the English chan nel until after the third Saamrocb has been beaten. The more we read about King I.eo pold of Belgium the less we feel like making our best bow to him when he comes to visit us. Twenty-four thousand people at a bail game in Philadelphia! They haven't sunk to the ping pong point of athletics there as yet. A Maine man has been pronounced Insane because he ate raw beef. What would his follow citizens have thought of him had they found him burning coal? They are now paying $*>,000 apiece for boxes at the opera in New York, It must be the Intention to have all th® lady members of the troupe in tights. A Chicago woman Is seeking a divorce from her husband who is des cribed as an enthusiastic ainateui pugilist. She says he was too en thusiastic. The judge who decided that piano playing is disorderly conduct evident ly had been hearing some of the latest popular music interpreted by hlG neighbors. Perhaps If Gov. Salazar of Colom bia, would put a wet towel on his head and dampen it with ice watei occasionally, it would soothe hia Beething brain. The airship in which Mr, Spencer, the English aeronaut, is making his thirty-mile flights, has a pug nose, Eventually it will land in the denial lion bow-wows. Harriet Huggme of Youngstown wants htv name changed. If she fully Appreciates the snap she has with such a. name she will have little trou ble Getting it changed. Peary says he could discover the norrb pole if he had $200,000. But L* ho had $200,000 why should he ever vant to do anything as disagreeable os discovering the pole? A sweethearts’ trust has been op ganized in a Nebraska town to correct the intemperate habits of the young men. Of course, in a case like this, It will be permissible to water thf stock. From the published pictures of tin •■ount de !a Escosura, the putative husband of the Spanish queen dow ager, her majesty could have got a better looking man by patronizing t matrimonial agency. E. A. Robinson, who has just fallen heir to $1,500,000, says he is going to spend his whole fortune in eighteen months. No, Mr. Robinson is not one of those vulgar Americana. He lives in London, and was born there. There is news in the fact that a Bos ton man lost his wife in Buffalo while an a wedding trip. It would have Been scarcely worth mentioning had the couple hailed from Chicago. King Alfonso wants to rehabilitate the Spanish navy. Gen. Weyler ad vocates an expansion of the army. It Spain getting ready for another fight? A Kentucky girl of unusual beauty is doing more damage in the fashioa able circles of New York than any. thins that CoL V/aU- rson may say. Real Snakes in His Boots “On at least one occasion I had snakes in my boots,” said the man with the red nose to a reporter of the New Orleans Times-Democrat, ‘and it was no wild delirious fancy, either. The snakes were genuine. They were very much alive, could crawl and aid crawl, and they had eyes and fangs and forked tongues and all the other things which go with a well made and complete member of the reptilian species. I had gone out on a fishing trip with some friends up in Arkansas, and we were quartered in a tent on one of the best lakes in the southeastern section of the state. It w'as during the hot season, i never naw as many snakes in all my life ns we found around that lake, and they were of all sizes, shapes and colors. The heat was so intense—It was dur ing a severe drought of 1SS1—that all the snakes of that section gathced around the lake in an effort, no dc**tt, to keep cool. They would slip down •?o the water's edge, burrow in the mud and cut ether curious capers because of the prevailing drought. “Late in the evening they would take a whirl at swimming, wriggling out Into the lake for some distance, and then pull back to the shore again. I mention these facts merely to show that snakes were plentiful in that sec tion. The heat had made them des perate, but we never anticipated any trouble from this source. We pitched our tent at the head of the lake, and were Inclined to gloat somewhat over the splendid location we had securet and the coziness of our surrounding: generally. Of course we had th® usua quantity of stimulating things which belong to a first-class fishiug outfit, and to tell the truth about the matter, I had been pulling away at the jug and popping beer bottles until L was just a little shaky. After we had been out | about a week I began to see things I that a man under ordinary circum | stances could not see. 1 was just in | this condition one morning when I rolled out of my cot to begin the day's sport. The sun had been up for some ! time. | "My boots were standing beside the j cot w here I had put them the night be fore. In throwing ray legs over the side of the cot I knocked both boots over. You can guess how I felt when i two or three snakes wriggled out of my boots. 1 simply went up in the air. My nerves were in no condition to be tampeied with. I couldn't get out of the cot. and I couldn’t stay in it. I simply felt like melting into thin air. One of my friends witnessed the whole thing, although I did not knew it at the time. I was ashamed to say anything about the snakes until be brought the question up. Finally he said something nbout the snakes that | had spent the night in my boots, and I'll swear to you I never felt better in my life, for up to that time I was very much in doubt about the genuineness of the vision. I was glad to know that the snakes were real live snakes.” Prowess of a Wire Mattress Bronson had never taken a wire mattress to pieces, but he always thought he could. The mattress was too big to go up the stairway ot the new house except on the instalment plan, and it had to go up there, the thing being so ordered by Mrs. Bron son. Bronson examined the mattress and found that it was compbsed of four modified scantlings, framed to gether by bolts and kept firm by the wire web. He diagnosed the case as one requiring a monkey wrench, and after he had scarcned half or three quarters ot an hour he found the wrench. He noticed that the nuts on the bolt turned hard, but said that they were rusty, and a little patience would conquer. When the nuts finally came off the two end frames flew together like long-lost sisters and shut Bronson up in the folds of the web like a salmon in a gillnet. He goi. out after a while, ana when he had expressed himself succinctly carried the mattress up stairs, where he $et about putting it together again. 'io his great surprise he found that the web had shrunk about four sizes and that the frames refused to resume their former posi tions. He tugged and hauled for a while, but the sticks had an irritating habit of wrenching themselves out of his grasp and joining forces, and he always happened to be in the trajec tory of one of them. At last he nailed two of the scant lings to the floor and began drawing the other two into their places. Mrs. Bronson here entered the struggle, but still further reinforcements were re quired, and the children came. The family lined up along one stick and pulled till Bronson strained his wrist, and let go. Then the web got in its work, and two children were thrown violently to the ceiling, while Mrs. Bronson, caught by the escaping frame, was knocked breathless. Bronson feaid a few things, gathered up the children and renewed the at tempt. But the esprit de corps was gone from the community efforts, and after a few further trials, in which the list of injured was like that of an excursion train accident, Bronson sum moned a neighbor. The two men toiled ail the afternoon, and then the fleigh bor let go of the straining web at the wrong time. It was Bronson's jaw that suffered. Bronson thought he'dld it purposely, and the two fought earn estly and convincingly for half an hour, at the end of which time the neighbor's wife came and called him to supper. "Mv dear.” said Bronson that even ing, when the doctor left the house, ”1 think if the second-hand man will give you 25 cents for that mattress you had better take it. I always despised that second-hand man. and this will be a glorious opportunity to show my ill will toward him."—Portland Oregon ian. Huge Sums for Church Work One would not be surprised to learn that the attempt of the Northern Methodists to raise $20,000,000 as a twentieth century fund had been aban doned as Impracticable. But the fact is that $17,000,000 has already been subscribed, and the remaining ; $3,000,000 may he fairly said to be in ! sight, says the Watchman of Boston, i This great sum is to be devoted to j freeing Methodist churches from debt, ' and for educational work. Methodism in the United States for the next five . hundred years is certain to receive a mighty impulse from this great achievement. The September number of the Church Economist gives the result of careful investigation to show how other denominatians are getting on with their twentieth century funds. The Methodists of Canada set their figures at $1,000,000, and they have raised $250,000 more than that, and the Presbyterians of Canada put their mark at $1,000,000, and have already obtained $1,430,000, with a probability that they will receive $150,000 more. The English Methodists have raised $4,600,000; the English Congregatlon alists, who sought $2,000,000, have se cured $3,312,000; the English Baptists, who put their figure at $1,250,000. have already received $1,000,000, and the Congregationalists of Wales, who set out to secure $100,000 in five years, have received $860,000 in three years. The Economist reckons that the churches have secureu $30,000,000 of the $40,000,000 proposed, and that the movement in all its branches is prov ing an unexpected and overwhelming success. Doubtless the entire sum proposed will be secured. One of the interesting features con nected with this movement is that the raising of these huge sums has not di minished regular contributions for de nominational causes. It was feared that offerings for missions would be lessened, but that has not been the case. Again the assertion has been demon strated that there is no flved sum for benevolence, like the alleged “wage fund” of the political econom ists, which cannot be diverted to one cause except at the cost of others. It lias been shown that gifts depend on the inculcation of the giving spirit and that the larger the gifts the larger they will be. These great sums have not been contributed by syndicates of rich men. For the most part they have coma from people in moderate circum stances. A married man says the best alarm clock is his wife's elbow. Would Prove a Dear Girl. He was asking the old man for his daughter in marriage. He was talk ing tremblingly, hesitatingly, as you read of in r.tory books. Now came the old man’s turn to speak, and as he began his fare wa3 white with passion, and his voice shook with ex citement. "You want to marry my daughter?” he said. ”Ah, twenty years ago your father crippled me in a stock deal, and I swore to be revenged! And now my time has come.” He paused for breath, and the aspir ant for the maiden's hand was nbout to beat a hasty retreat in the face of supposed defeat, when tha father broke forth again. “Yes, sir, I swore to be revenged, and I'll now strike the father through tho son. Want my daughter, eh? Well, take her, and may she prove as expensive to you as she has t» uie!” Tho old man dropped into his chat# worn out with the excitement of his plot, and the young man fainted Must Be of Legal Age. What Milwaukee and St. Joe are to Chicago in the way of elopements Jer sey City is to New York, and Justice of the Pcarc Ttoe of the last named place, has tied a great many hurried knots. He has just announced, how ever, that when he has the siightesl doubt as to the real age of high con tracting parties, he will require them to make affidavit. “There are too many silly, thoughtless marriages," says the justice, “and I don't propose to cater to such madness.” Doyle Mistaken for Kitchener. On several occasions lately Conan Doyle, while walking in London, has been mistaken for Lord Kitchener, much to the author’s embarrassment. Once he was nearly mobbed by a yell ing crowd of enthusiasts, who cheered madly for “the ero of South Hafrica." By the way, it has seldom fallen to the lot of man to reach affluence in a literary career so early in life as has been the case with Sir Conan. He is only 43, rich, titled ana popular. SUSPICIOUS OF THE BRANDY. Reason Why Congressman Hull Pro* ferred Admiral Evans’ Whisky. Here is a good story of Admiral Rob ley D. Evans, of the navy, which some of his associates are telling; Soon after the close ot the Spanish war the people of Iowa decided to present a sword to Capt. Evans as a memento of his command of the battleship Iowa in the Santiago fight. The presenta tion was made at the home of Admiral Evans in Washington. Mrs. Evans assisted her husband in entertaining the guests and presided over the colla tion which was served in the dining room after the speeches were con cluded. "Bob” did not make a very elaborate address, but soon after the close of the formalities he said a few words which were highly appreciated by those who heard them. "Step into this room,” said the naval hero; "we'll have a cigar and a toddy.” Leading the way into a cozy den. Capt. Evans said: "I ran out of my favorite brand of whisky yesterday and was com pelled to stock up with some that l don't know much about. But here is some brandy that I do know something about; it has been in this house for more than twenty years.” Turning to Representative Hull, he added, "Which will you take, governor?" "Just hand over that whisky decan ter,” responded Mr. Hull. "Why. what s the matter with the brandy?" asked Evans in a tone of surprise. “I don't know. Bob,” said Hull, “but If you have had it in the house for twenty years without drinking it thero must be something the matter with it I’ll take the whisky.” And Cap. Bob retired under the roar of laughter. Energy and Cheerfulness. A minister writing from Rome tells of the blessings brought to the Pope by his busy and cheerful life, say ing: “Twenty-five years ago an old man, weak and thin, was selected by the Sacred College to be the successor of St. Peter at Rome. None of his con temporaries thought he would live long. But he shut himself up In the Vatican and kept busy and cheerful, and has seen all of his colleagues of a quarter of a century ago pass away from earth. The lesson here is that energy and cheerfulness are powerful tonics to the body, and a long life is the natural tendency of a right spirit. Not that happy natures always reach old age, but that the Joy of the Lord is the strength of human life. It mat ters not so much what may be the circumstances surrounding life, the great token of success is the spirit with which we meet the world. A Joyous heart is the Christian man’s Impregnable stronghold.” Truly a “Devil’s Trap.” Recently a foreign naturalist named Dtinstan, was walking near the bank of Lake Nicaragua when suddenly he heard his dog howling at a little dis tance behind him. Rushing to the ani mal's assistance, he found that it was in the grasp of three black and greasy thongs which had coiled them selves around us neck and had torn it so badly that blood was flowing in several places. After some difficulty the naturalist freed the dog and in a few days its wounds were healed. The thongs, which imprisoned the animal were the principal portion of a plant which Is known among the natives of Nicaragua as the “devil’s trap.” It is composed of black, flex ible, leafless branches, which secrete a viscuous fluid, and which are pro vided with numerous tiny hooks. At Sea on Land. A clergyman who had neglected all knowledge of nautical affairs was asked to deliver an address before an audience of sailors. He was discoursing on the stormy passages of life. Thinking he could make his remarks more pertinent to his hearers by metaphorically using sea expressions he said: “Now., triends, you know that when you are at sea in a storm the thing you do is anchor.” A half-concealed snicker spread over the room, and the clergyman knew that he had made a mistake. After the services one of his listen ers came to him and said: “Mr. -, have you ever been at sea?” The minister replied: “No, unless it was while I was de livering that address.” Water Substitute for Coal. Herr Thormann, a noted Austrian engineer, has for several months been studying the waterfalls in Switz erland, and has come to the conclus ion that they can he utilized in con nection with electricity as a motive power for all the trains on Swiss rail roads. He has discovered twenty two waterfalls, the force of which Is equivalent to 86,000 horse power, and this is more than is needed, ar 60,000 horse power would be quite sufficient. Switzerland is obliged to import at considerable expense all the coal that is used on her railroads, and therefore it will readily be seen that she would gain a good deal by adopting Herr Thormann’s suggestion. Languages of India. Twenty-eight languages are spoken In India, and none of these is spoken by few'er than 400,000 persons, while the most general is the mother tongue of 85,600,000. Besides these (here are • n the remotest parts of the country iialects spoken by no more than 500 persons, which none other than them selves can interpret. India has nine great creeds, numbering their follow ers from the 208,000,000 Hindoos down to tho 9,250,000 Anlmistics and the Innumerable sects included in the 43, 000 "others.” BTATJS OF GERMAN WOMEN- j ' Female Emancipation Made Lit tle Progress. Although German poets vie with one another in extolling the “eterned feminine ideal.” there is no country , where the emancipation of woman, 1 which forms the great feature of modern life in England and in the United States, had made so little progress. An amusing instance of this occurred some days ago in tho Prussian chamber of deputies, on an Interpellation as to the right of wo men to take part in political meet ings. The minister of the interior, with his hair on end, his face pale with emotion, and a voice quivering with excitement, replied that although it wTould not legally be permissable to bar the door against a woman desir ous of attending a political gathering, every possible means should be taken ! to prevent her from speaking. In other words, he declared, amid cheers from the outer part of the house, that women, like children, should be seen but not heard. Womenphobsa has always been a German characteristic, says the Lon don Graphic. The admission of wo men into the civil service met with the most violent opposition in Ger many long after female clerks and telegraphists had been successfully employed in England and in France. The right of women to practice medi cine was called in question only three years ago when a committee of ex perts declared that the idea was too preposterous to be seriously discuss ed. In 1899 a proposal to establish gymnasia for girls was likened by the Prussian minister of worship ‘‘to a little spark which should be put out at once, lest it should break into a flame.” i3ut there are many signs that even 'he German woman is growing im* oatient of her. part as upper house maid, and in the consciousness of being a thinking entity, with a sepa rate life of her own, demands to take her share in the national public life. Antiquit) of "Shoo.” “ ‘Shoo’ is the only utterance you can make to startle chickens,” says an observant young man. "You can shout at them until you get blue in the face, but that won't frighten them away, if such i3 your intention. But the minute you say ‘shoo’ they scam per. People ‘shoo’ chickens the world over. The Jap ‘shoos’ his chickens, and so does the Hindu, the Kaffir, the Russian, German, Briton—everybody. Why does this hissing sound instantly startle fowl, when a shout or other human utterance will not? Have you ever thought it out? Well, you can put it down that ‘shoo’ waa one of the first utterances that man learned to make. In primitive days the world was overrun with reptilian creatures, and these no doubt preyed on fowl, just as snakes nowadays have a fond ness for birds. Feathered bipeds nat urally came to recognize in the hiss the presence of their mortal enemy and took fright when it was heard. Primitive man would, of course, notice and appreciate the effect of the sibilant utterance. It's a cinch that our remote forefathers would put the hiss into use when the progenitors of our modern chickens came straying where they were not wanted, and there, you see, we get ‘shoo.’ A chick en runs when you say ’shoo’ because of an instinct that has come down in the breed from the days when fowl recognized their foe by the hiss.” Scripture Cake. There was a church bazaar in the village of Comrle, Strathearn, Scot land, Aug. 23, and a novelty at one of the stalls was a sale of what was called "scripture cake,” which was in great demand. It was made according to the following recipe: Take four and one-half cups of I. Kings 4:22 (first clause); one and one half cups of Judge 5:25 (last clause); two cups of Jeremiah 5:20; two cups of I. Samuel 30:12; two cups of Nahum 3:12; one cup of Numbers 17:8; two tablespoon fuls of I. Samuel 15:25; season to taste with II. Chronicles 9:9, six of Jere miah 17:11, a pinch of Leviticus 2:13, half a cup of Judges 4:19 (baking pow der). Finally, follow Solomon’s pre scription, Proverbs 23:15, for making a good child, and you will have a good cake. New Bloom. I heard the lilies growing In the night | When none did hark; i knew they made a glimmer, dimly white. In the cool dreaming dark. Nothing the garden knew— So soft they grew— Until they stood new-risen In the light, For all to mark. I heard the dreams ■tlll-growlng In the night; Nor was there one That I saw clear or, seeing, named aright; Cut when the night was done. The fragrance to be Awakened me; I saw their faces leaning glad and white Toward thee, their sun. —Josephine Preston Peabody. -- A Vivid Description. “Do tell me something about the play,” she said to the young man. "They say that climax at the close of tho third act was superb.” “Yes, I am inclined to think it was very good.” “Can’t you describe It to me?” “Why, the heroine came stealthily on the stage and knelt, dagger in hand, behind a clump of pink rib bons. The hero emerged from a large bunch of purple flowers, and as soon as she perceived him she fell upon him, stabbed him twice and sank half conscious Into a very handsome aigrette. This may sound queer, but the lady in front oi me didr.'t remove her hat, and that’s how It looked." j IN A BAD WAV. i Night after night with rest and ' sleep broken by urinary troubles. Painful passages, frequent calls of nature, retention, make the day as miserable as the night, j Man, woman or child with any • wrong condition of the bladder and kindeys is in a bad way. Don't delay 'till dangerous Diabetes comes. Cure the trouble before it Bet ties Into Bright’s Disease. Read how certain are the cures of Doau's Kidney Pills and how they last. John J. Scharschug, a retired farm er, residing at 474 Concord St., Aurora, 111., says: “Three years ago I was a sufferer from backache and other kidney disorders, and for months exhausted all my knowledge of medicine In an endeavor to obtain relief. Doan’s Kidney Pills cured me, and time has not diminished my esti mation of this preparation. Not only did Doan’s Kidney Pills cure me at that time, but although over three years have elapsed there has not been a symptom of a recurrence of the trouble. I consider this preparation to be a wonderful kidney remedy and Just as represented.” A FREE TRIAD of this great Kid ney medicine which cured Mr. Schar Bchug will be mailed on application to any part of the United States. Ad dress Foster-Mllburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y. For sale by ail druggists, price 50 centis per box. Doctors’ Incomes in England. The British Medical Journal ventur ed an estimate of the average income that might be expected by the general practitioner in England, and put it at £400 to £500. The estimate was cop ied into several daily papers and baa produced a large crop of correspond ence, teeming with ridicule and indig nation. The general practitioners, who ought to know, declare that only a small proportion of their number earn so much even after years of arduous work. The competition brought about by the overcrowded state of the pro fession is, they declare, so gr< at that it Is a cruelty to induce men, by in flated estimates, to enter it. His Wife a “Matinee Fiend.” A novel cause for divorce is that al leged by Joseph Madison of Hoboken. His eomplaiants set forth that his wife has become a “matinee fiend.” She is a young and beautiful graduate of the Hoboken high school. Her husband states that they lived happily together for three years, until, in the winter of 1900, she contracted the matinee habit. She would go to the theater five or six times a week, devoting her attention chiefly to continuous per formances and to vaudeville. The hus band does not charge her with select ing any particular idol for histrionic worship, but merely with neglecting her home for the footlights. She was Persuaded to Try St. Jacobs Oil, and All Pain Disappeared Immediately. It Is undoubtedly a fact beyond dis pute that the strongest advertising medium the proprietors have is that of people who recommend others to uso St. Jucobs Oil. People who have them selves experienced a happy result which invariably follows the use of , this great remedy, show their grati- ’ tudo by recommending It to those whom they know are similarly affect ed. This is the case of Margaret Lee, of 71 Brightfield road, Lee Green, Wis. “Having suffered from muscular rheumatism for years, and not receiv ing any benefit from various remedies, 1 used St. Jacobs Oil: pain and sore ness removed at once: no return of rheumatism.” St. Jacobs Oil is sold In 25 cts. and 50 cts. s/.zes by ail drug gists. Only a loving mother can weep bit ter tears over a lost child and then wield the slipper energetically when it returns. PUTNAM FADELESS DYES color more goods, per package, than others. Superior quality and extra quantity must win. This is why Defiance Starch is taking the place of all others. Though you lead a man to water, you can't make him drink. IF TOD USE 11AEL BLUE, Get Rad Cross Ball Blue, tho best Ball Bluo. Large » oz. package only 5 cents. Don’t say you haven't time. You have all of it there is on tap. INSIST ON faKTTINO IT. Bonne grocers any they don’t keep De fiance Starch because they have a stork In hand of 12 oz. brands, which they know cannot be sold to a customer who has once used the 16 oz. pkg. Dellanca Starch tor same money. Many a dishonest heart beats under a ragged coat. permanaittir cured. No flt* or nervonnnc*s aft** ■ law first day a u*o of Dr. Kiltie'* Great Nerro Keetof* c r. bend for FKUK 4R2.00 trial bottle ajid treatise. l>*. U. Li Kline, Ltd., 931 Arch street. i'hlladeliiUia, 1>. A man seldom wants a thlug after he gets it. THOSE WHO nAVE TItlED IT will use no other. Defiance Cold Water Starch has no equal In Quantity or Qual ity-10 oz for 10 cents. Other brand* contain only 12 oz. It's a mistake to imagine thnt itching piles can’t be cured; a mLtal.e to Buffer a day longer than yon can help. Doan’s O.nt mout brings Instant relief nud permanent cure. At any drug store, 50 cents. It is not the coat that makes the man; it’s the trousers. Stops tho Cough amt Works Off tho tobl Laxative Broruo Quinine Tablet*.. Price 25ct Take care of the pounds and every body will rush to take care of you. I am »ure Plso’s Cure for Consumption saved my life three years ago—Mrs. Thus. Rddbim*. Maple Street, Norwich, N. Y., Feb. 17, 1900. The mustache Is the key of char acter. Is It a burnt Fse I)r. Thomas’ Eelectrf* Oil. A cut? Use Dr. Thomas' Eclectrio OIL At your druggists.