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| TALES OF FLOCK f
| AND ADVENTURE. {
Tlic MI«»lon Women In tlie Fiji*.
Among the friends made iu the enly
dava of my ministry, writes O. W.
Payne, in the New Voice, was the
ltev. William Moore, now deceased,
and several members of his family.
Mr. Moore labored for many years in
the Fijian Methodist Missiou, his
career dating hack into the dark days j
of lust and blood amid which that
mission begau. His party landed j
among cannibal savages. Anarchy and |
bloodshed prevailed on every side, j
The missionaries were frequently
threatened with instant destruction,
their houses destroyed and their prop
erty stolen, Iu other parts of the
group mission workers found u
martyr’s death. Many stirring iuci- I
dents occurred in the earlier and I
darker days of their work which have
never been recorded. The incident of
which I write was related some years
since in my hearing.
Hhortly after the advent of the mis
sion party referred to, a leading chief,
named Thakombau, acquired consid
erable influence over the savages
throughout the group, fie was a man
of great intelligence and striking per
sonality. In later years, by wise
r statecraft, he brought the scattered
tribes of Fiji into some sem
blance of true nationality. Jiut
hia superiority displayed itself dur
ing early manhood iu the successful
conduct of numerous wars with neigh
boring tribes. After every battle can
nibal feasts were held to celebrate a
victory or to ameliorate the chagrin of
• temporary repulse. At such times
prisoners captured iu war or kidnapped
from hostile villages were clubbed and
eaten. After some years the mission
anes succeeded hi rescuing many of
the prisoners destined for death, aud
occasionally in checking the wild
orgies over those actually slain.
During one of the frequent tribal
warn the missionaries jourueyed to a
distant village with a view of recon
ciling the tribes concerned. Thakom
bau, for the time being, resided iu a
village adjacent to the mission station.
During the absence of the missionaries
a party of his warriors brought in
seven women captured while gather
ing food on the plantations of their
enemies. The chief forthwith deoided
to celebrate a great feast, aud all
night long preparations were in
progress. In the early morning news
came to the mission house that crowds
were gathering to witness the slaugh
ter of the captives and to participate
in the feast. The wives of the mis
sionaries were aloue with their little
ones and a few faithful attendants,
while the country was full of yelling
savages. In the absence of their
husbands no one remained to de
nounce the iniquity or plead for the
victims. After brief consultation
these heroic women, leaving their
little ones and commending all to
God, determined to act as the mis
sionaries would have done had they
been at home. When they reached
the scene the butchery had begnn.
Three bodies lay side by side, the
skulls dashed in by the death-club.
Without a moment's hesitation these
dauntless women confronted the
frowning chief, denouncing the horrid
iniquity of it all and warning him of
the wrath of heaveu against his deeds.
Then they pleaded for the lives of the
remaining captives. The chief waited
till they had finished speaking. All
present expected to see an outburst
of rage culminating iu the death of
those who dared to cross his purpose
in such a way. A word, or even a
gesture, and their bodies would have
lain beside those at their feet. For a
moment a lurid gleam shot into the
fierce countenance; but* it passed as
quickly as it came.
“What I have killed I have killed,”
he said. * The others are yours.
Take them. Go!”
With feverish haste the noble wom
en loosed the bonds of the captives
aud led them away.
On** (inn \tiuniwl a II*giin«*lit.
A fresh story of a naval ollicer’s
rourage iu the Philippines is brought
to Washington by Surgeon Stone, late
of the Heuuiugton, who is now in the
city. Its hero is Lieutenant Emory
Wiuship, also of the Heuuiugton, anil
now on leave iu this couutry, recover
ing from the effects of live Mauser
ballets gathered in various parts of
his anatomy while saving a landing
party of 1 'Jo men from being cut up
by a regiment of Filipiuos.
It happeued shortly after the bom
harduieut of Matabou, about MarchS,
that Admiral Dewey expressed a wish
for some photographs of the earth
works and houses that had been
struck bv the leu inch shells from the
Monaduock. Commander Taumg said !
that if he were allowed to laud a few
boat loads o| meu he could get all the j
photograph* wanted. It «a> believed
at that time that the hostile* bed all
vacated that part of the »bure, so per
miaeion wa* gtvigi to laud a party
Several boat*, with between I Jib sod
Ifll» men, slatted ashore aud uu land
ing made for an old shureh which was
the chief object of interest
A tales idea of eeenrity led them to ,
advance very rarelensly, throwing out |
no advance an I taking nothing but
their side at me- *>u|y e b»at guard
of two meu under kVtuship wa* tell to
keep up steam in the launeh whteh j
had towed in the landtag party, but
fortunately the launch had a •mall
automate gun monated forward, and
Wmabip vm well ae-|watnted with its
working.
The leading party had gone intend
e»me little dtatauee, when they were
surprised by e whole isgimeal of Flit
pinen, who tud febly appear* I out of
the jungle. The uatives advanced on
the run, shooting wild, hut confident
of cutting oil’ the whole party. Those
ashore expected little else, hut seeing
it was a case of a foot race or a fu
neral, they doubled hack for the
boats, yelliug lustily. That was
where NVinship came on ilia star part.
He unlimhered his machine gun on
the Filipinos, calculating closely, so
as not to enfilade his own comrades.
It was practically one mail against a
thousand, and the natives came on
with a rush, hoping to put the lone
gunner out of action before bis fel
lows could reach the launch, Winship
received the hulk of their fire, thereby
also contributing to the safety of the
landing party, but he stood up to his
work. He was struck five times—
once in the shoulder, the arm, the hip,
and twice in the leg. He braced him
self and continued to train the gnu
while bis men fed it ammunition.
Thirty Filipinos dropped under bis
lire before the little jungle men de
cided they had enough. Their rush
was checked and then they ran, pur
sued by the relentless tire of Win
sbip’s lone gun.
The retreating boat crews reached
the shore just in time to see Winship
sink down in the bow of the launch.
The closest estimate that could he
made of the enemy's loss was about
sixty killed and wounded.—Washing
ton Star.
•Viint Sh v«*rl From Heath.
A thrilling incident occurred a few
mornings ago at the R. and O. H. NV.
Railroad bridge over Hogan Creek,
near Lawreuceburg, Ind. Two men
named Hatch and Powell were walk
ing across the bridge when train No.
4, known as the “Newspaper Train,”
from St. Louis, came rolling down
upou them. It was too great a dis
tance from end to end of the bridge for
the men to escape in that way, and
to leap from it meant a fall of sixty
feet and almost certain death. To
lie dowu on each side of the track was
almost sure death, us there was not
room enough. In terror the two men
laid down by the side of the rails.
Frank Evans, the engineer, saw the
men and reversed his engine with
such promptness and applied the
brakes with such energy that the fly
ing train was brought to a sudden
standstill. It was none too soon, for
when the engine stopped the two men
lay pinioned, bruised und bleeding,
beueath the ponderous engine that
held them fast in the very jaws of
an impending death. Evans called
out to the helpless men: “Keep quiet,
I will save you,” then slowly backed
the train of)'the imprisoned men and
off the bridge, so that they could
crawl out of the reach of further dan
ger. Their clothes were in rags, but
their limbs were uubroken.
The Bugler Who Forgot.
It is not often that an enlisted man
gets a chance to run a part of the fight
to suit himself. That chance, how
ever,came toone bugler. Captain Han
nay, finding that L Company was too
far away to hear orders, sent his bugler
after the company to sound the charge,
At the first notes L Hew onward. It
was right here that the bugler for
got, for the time being that he was
only the commanding officer’s orderly.
He saw another chance for L to move
ou the jump—too good a chance, he
thought, to be lost. lie sounded once
more, and Lieuteuaut Ross, imagin
ing, of course, that the order came
from Captain Hatinay, executed it.
Not even yet was the bugler’s thirst
for forward action sated. He sounded
again and again, as the heat of gener
alship made his blood How fast und
hot. Ry the time the bugler came to
himself and relinquished the duties
of fight-director, the poor fellows of
L Company were troubled with short
ness of breath. In this brisk affair,
according to the official report, the
dead reached a total of about sixty,
including some officers. It is the
enemy’s dead that is meant, of course.
Twenty-one Mausers and six Reming
tons were the spoils of this field.—
Manila Correspondent in Leslie’s
Weekly.
Adventure With »» Hear.
While berrying uu the Ammeuia
Mountains a few days ago Mrs. Samuel
Stanton, of Canton, l’euu., was startled
by a crackling sound in the bushes.
Investigation revealed a huge bluck
bear eating berries ott' a bush. The
beast came at hernud seized her bucket
of berries, while the woman, terriiied,
tied down the mountain with the bear
following her. II unters who went out
found tbe empty bucket, but no bear.
LI It dug Chamc No rat riot.
‘‘I regret to say that I may have to
shatter a possible American idea,"
says Admiral Charles lleresford. "Li
Hung Chang ia uu patriot. He ia
nothing but a selfish old millionaire,
auxioua to make money at the expense
of hia country's ruin.
"It doesn’t make any difference
what his political sympathies are,
whether he is the friend of Hussia or
Kuglsud. He is a cipher, without
ottlde aud without influence.
"His successor as Viceroy of China
ia Juug Lu, now the diplomat of
highest rank in tha Umpire. He la
friendly to tbe opeu door,' though it
be heht open with the irou baud. The
Liuperor of Chius ia still alive, re
porls of his aasasMuatiou to the eou
trary notwithstanding, lie was a re
former, but he tried to reform tt*o fast
"You can't alter the system of 4UUII
years m a few mouths, and, as he
tried, he was asked to *tep down.
The Itowager tlwpreae, who Las been
a power in Chinese palace politics for
two generation*, rales as regent in
the name of the t'.mpvror. ‘-—Me*
t.uglsnd Mag*sine
Norwsigeu legidstor* propose that
girls who do nut know how to knit,
mw, wash sad cook shuald be refused
permission to mnrry, ttnnghter* of
wealthy men we not to be exceptetl.
* NEWS AND NOTES 1
t FOR WOMEN. I
£ *
m ^O(9tO«(«*3(()tOI(**^3fe>tQ(ei(*5l0(OI0la
The lileitl XIutiler.
She never describes her aches and
pains.
She never dwells on unpleasant
reminiscences.
She is never a martyr.
She never corrects the children in
the presence of any one.
She lets everyone have affairs of his
or her own.
She is always polite and cordial to
the children’s friends.—Philadelphia
Record.
K««|i C|> tlie Lllurr.
A thoughtful woman says that the
“journal habit” should be discouraged
in young girls, as writiug down the
thoughts, feelings and impressions of
immaturity and inexperience tends to
the development of self-consciousness
and introspection at a time when they
cau do more harm than good. A diary,
however, is a different matter, and
should be encouraged, as it may be of
value in after years, in its record of
dates and happenings.
K«iiimI«' Nimrod*.
Lady Hopetouu, wife of the Lord
Chamberlain, is one of the cleverest
of a galaxy of female Nimroils, which
includes Lady Haudhurst, Lady
Beaumont and the Duchess of Bed
ford, and she cau bring down any
thing from a partridge to a stag as
skillfully as cau most men. In Aus
tralia the used to practice regularly at
the rifle range, and her score of
“bulls” was the euvy of many met
shooters. Deer stalking is her favor
ite relaxation, and many a tine buck
has fallen to her gun.
Tin* KovIvmI ol Coral.
Coral beads used to be considered
the correct and necessary thing to
wear, with muslin gowns and other
pretty, old-fashioned toilets appro
priated by the present fashion.
Perhaps, also, if there be one color
in jewelry as to the beauty of which
all tastes, from the least cultivated to
that of the connoisseur, accord, it is
for red in its various tones. Its re
vival began in the favorite old form of
beads. It has found its best field
again in the fashionable long chains,
and it is in this hue that jewelers
make their principal display. Next
to chains in extent of display come
brooches and tpius. A dainty new
fancy noted is the combination of
pearls and coral in one or two fine
brooches, the design being a crescent
inclosing a star. An establishment
catering to the finest trade reports
coral unequivocally as “coming in,”
and displuys a variety of chains and
some new designs in pins and brooches.
Commonplace (ilrli.
The brilliant and unusual girl gets
more than her meed of praise, but we
just go on loving the commonplace
girl for the nice little part she plays
in life and seldom think of telling her
what we do. And the commouplace
girl is so apt to underestimate her
worth. You know that time and again
she lias come to you for comfort be
cause she declared she was such a
social failure, such a commonplace
mortal.
My dear little commonplace girl, it
is the commouplace men and women
who make up the greater part of the
world, and it is the commouplace men
and women who attend to the small
but necessary matters that go to make
up the great sum total of our lives and
the world’s affairs generally. The
geniuses are too busy to look after
small matters, and, besides, the geni
uses are so few! Maybe out of a
thousand folk there will be but one
unusual one. The balance are just
commonplace.
I he commonplace woman is not the
inferior woman. The commonplace
woman comes just up to the accepted
standard of what a woman should be,
when all is said aud dout*. Each of us
may have nu ideal, but we are all quite
conscious that in some way, us time
bus passed ou iuto eternity and Mother
Eve’s daughters have lived ami loved
and worked and smiled, a standard
has been fixed. To sink below it is
sadly disappointing to those who look
for all that is best in womanhood; to
rise above it puts one in the ranks of
the unusual. Our greatuess or our
inferiority, as men aud women, only
stands out prominently because there
is a standard.—Philadelphia Inquirer,
H nw to Take Car* of I'earla.
Pearls are undoubtedly one of the
most beautiful of precious stones, aud
those persons who are fortunate pos
sessors of them have, doubtless, been
puzzled many a time as to the best
way of keepiug them nice
A good way of .trighteuing up the
appearance of pearls is to wash them
iu soap aud water, that is, if they are
what is kuown as “whole" pearls. |
Hut should they lie only half pearls, j
the greatest care must be exercised in !
keepiug them out of water, as this
Ituid affects their color aud lustre,
aud iu time causes them to become
quite black.
People who posse** a ring or brooch I
that consist of half pearls tiud it a
most difficult mailer to dean litem.
When they look dirty, jud take a dry, I
clean leather au«l polish them, aud ;
thru lhal being doue lake a a >ft brush
and go gently over the settings, and ,
you will be surprised at the increased
inslre and ebsn look wlusli Ibis aim
pie process Its* gtten to the pearls,
I'i art* ate valued a cording to tbstr
color aud lustre, aud so, if the color [
fades, so does Ibe i|lm, sad pewits
that are kepi locked up fur any length
of time lose their color entirely. The
wearing uf peerls do them far more
good, and the great pity re that some ,
people who he*e in their poaseestun
pearl necklace* end ttug* never alluw
them to see daylight, but keep them
io k‘ I awsy in a j«««l esse, and thus
the color and the value of the pearls
are mined. Pearls should never be
kept locked up for more than a week
at a stretch, aud if possible they
should be worn every day, aud in the
end yon will lie rewarded by seeing
how much handsomer they have be
come through contact with the fresh
air.—Woman’s Life.
Tl»* Woman of tli* AnigHti*.
Barhizon, a little village in the midst
of the forest of Fontainebleau, a short
distance from Paris, has become a goal
of pilgrimage for many admirers of
Millet’s work, am! particularly for
those who know that the woman who
suggested to the great painter his fa
mous picture of “The Angelas” still
lives there in a little cottage a stone's
throw from where she was born. Mere
Adele’s home is a small viueclad cot
tage, in which she lives a frugal but
comfortable life, troubled only by the
overinquisitive tourists aud by her
rheumatism. Hhe must have been an
attractive woman once, for even now,
although she has witnessed the pass
ing of more than threescore years and
ten, there are traces of former beauty
iu her wrinkled face.
Mere Adele is a lady, though she has
woru her fingers blunt by toil, and her
form is bent under the burdens sho
has hail to bear. When Hhe looks at
you her smile is like atmueditiou, aud
the beautiful things of earth are not
lost upon her. Her manner is cheer
ful, aa one who feels Hhe has not lived
iu vain. If questioned closely she will
tell you of the day when the great
artist came through the dense forest
with his wife and children, leaving be
hind him the gay city of Paris with its
schools of paintiug aud its models.
Hhe knows a great deal of the very
hard days which followed for Jeau
Francois Millet—the toil, the anxiety,
the disappointments. Hhe nursed his
five children, aud did the little field
work in the garden adjoining the cot
tage. When he saw his nurse-girl,
Adele, aud her father reverently bow
ing their heads in prayer at the ring
ing of the Augelus he conceived the
picture which, if not his best work, is
yet the best known, and the one most
appreciated by the people. Mere
Adele calls herself a child of God. Hhe
looks itiu the painting, and she lives it
every day iu her humble cottage.—
Woman's Home Companion.
fioulp.
The chignon is to be revived.
Rosa Bonhenr was of Jewish extrac
tion.
Women have been enfranchised in
Western Australia.
In one month Helen Gould received
over six hundred begging letters.
Baroness James de Rothschild owns
the finest collection of fans in Europe.
Sarah Bernhardt is writing her rem
iniscences. They will fill two large
volumes.
News from London states that Lady
Warwick is doing good work for the
labor movement in England.
Archduchess Stephanie, daughter of
the King of Belgians, is known to her
friends by the nickname of “Step.”
Mrs, J. Pierpont Morgan owns a
dinner service that cost $50,000. It
is made of silver gilt, and there are
300 pieces in the set.
While it is conceded that the study
of astronomy calls for abstract and
exact thought, yet many women have
gained eminence in this science.
Women sailors are employed in
Denmark, Norway and Sweden, and
they are often found to be most ex
cellent and delightful mariners.
The Kansas State Federation now
consists', of ninety-two clubs, with
uhout four thousand members, an in
crease the last year of one thousand
members.
Mrs. Phiobe R. Hturtevant, of Ja
maica Plain, Mass., has agreed to fur
nish the greater part of the money to
build a $70,000 dormitory for girls at
the Hebron (Me.) Academy.
A noted costumer of Loudon says
he has designated $200,000 worth of
costumes for one woman, while a pair
of stockings he provided for a noted
belle cost $500 and a tea gown $3500.
Mrs, Caroline B. Nichols, of Bos
ton, is making a name for herself as
one of the most competent musical di
rectors in the country. Hhe is leader
aud musical director of the Bustou
Woman’s Fadette Orchestra.
Miss Daisy Letter, who will be re
membered by her American frieuds as
a super!) horseback rider, has taken
up elephant riding as an amusement
while in India. Hhe has a pet ele
phant, which she is training herself.
.....
TolUt Hints.
Never mistake fads for fashions.
Cloves and shoes too small aie de
cidedly had form.
Ripped garments aud frayed edges
are fatal ta smartuess.
A sense of appropriateness iu attire
is more desirable than riches.
Oood grooming is the necessary
preliminary to smart dressing.
The little spade-fronted jacket agaiu
is coming iu tor a good deal of es
teem.
Well-brushed skirts, well-cleaued j
shoes, aud a tutu waist lute costs
nothing.
Learu bow to carry the body cor- i
redly if yon expect fo carry your i
clothes well.
Fresh linen is as essential to the
smartly dreesed girl as to the correct
ly dressed man.
Dry hair aud scaly scalp require
nourishing Hub a little olive oil
into the roots of the hair with the An
<*r tip# twice a week, making pari
mgs din Ike bea-l fur tkat purpose.
Hweet spirits of nitre is oae of the
i-cst and simplest wf toilet waters It
■a an excellent deoduriset, an I while
|ro«aeeaiag n-> actual fragrance itsslf.
■opart* a most acceptable aroma of
Ivauiiueaa,
"CANCWAY!"
A N*w W*r Cry liaised l»y Our Men Ir i
the riilliiiplue*.
The Manila correspondent of Col
lier’s Weekly, writes as follows: The
enemy were invisible aud shooting.
That made it necessary for Uncle
Ham’s troopers to go on until they got
near enough to get a good close view
of the little brown euemy. And they
did it with splendid spirit, rushing,
shooting, cheering and laughing. Two
companies of Cook’s battalion of the
Third were ordered to the left of the
railroad, while the other two com
panies, under Captain Cook, kept to
the right of the tiack. All four of the
companies were made tip mainly of
“rookies,” ns recuits are called, but
they made up iu spirit what they
lacked in effective drill.
As the two companies to thq left of
the track, under Captain Day aud
Lieutenaut Hannay, got their first
glimpse of the shooting euemy their
officers shouted out to steady their
commands. It was unnecessary, One
tall rooky, who was the first to catch
sight of the heads of the mass of Fili
pinos abend, yelled gleefully: “Gang
way!” With one accord the two com
panies took up the cry of “Gangway!”
aud on they rushed. It was their
slogau. They kept it up uutil they
readied the thrown-up dirt of the
trench aud saw the Filipinos, now an
irregular mass, fleeing a hundred
yards ahead of them. The Filipinos
gained another trench, hut “Gang
way!” was the battle cry that drove
them out of it. It was the same with
the third liue of trenches. Parenthet
ically, it is understood, of course,
that our boys shot off something be
sides “Gangway!” Dead and wound
ed Filipiuos strewed the ground aud
filled the trenches. Our losses all
along the line that day were tri
fling by comparison. Day’s and Han
uey’s companies, for instance, which
suffered rather more than the average
losses, had five men killed snd eleven
wounded.
Hut that cry of “Gangway!' is fam
ous over iu the Filipinos lines. In
surgents who have been broughtiu
either wounded or prisoners have in
quired eagerly the meaning and po
tency of that mysterious Yankee word
which invariably preceded a Filipino
retreat. And so the Third has con
tributed anothsr famous word to the
technical slang of the American sol
dier.
liKlInii VHIhb*' I.oal.
Historians are at a loss to account
for the apparent ruins of au Indian
village in Hilver Creek Township,
Michigan, about half a mile west of
Indian Lake. In 1843, when William
Gilbert, one of the wealthiest farmers
iu this section, built his house in this
locality, he built upon the ruins of
what had evidently been a church. In
fact, settlers iu the twenties claim to
have attended church there, the ser
vice being conducted by a priest from
I3ertraud or Notre Dame.
Other old settlers state that in the
early thirties one Slater taught school
there, later going to the vicinity of
Yankee Springs and continuing that
occupation there. The fact of its be
ing a schoolhouse would not preclude
its being used occasionally as a
church, aud there are in existence in
this city records of baptism of Indian
children at the “Church of the Indian
Village.”
On this same farm were ruins of
nine sugar camps, each about twelve
by sixteen in size, with holes bored
iu a log at the back, in which sticks
had been driveu on which to make
their beds. Copper kettles were used,
and copper knives, nails aud natcliets,
of poor temper, have been plowed up
there. There is not au ludinn in this
vicinity who knows anything about
this church or school, yet the evi
dence that oue did exist is indisputa
ble.
Indian Lake was named from the
fact that this locality was the favorite
resort of the ludians iu the muple
sugar seuson.—Detroit News.
Dpiitlfit Tel Ip l»y Sl|(iift.
A peculiar actual or imugiued cor
respondence has been developed be
tween physical acts and mental atti
tudes. The elocutionist declares tliut
the sledgehammer gesture indicates
emphasis aud t he hands opened with
uu outward spread of the arms candor.
The student of handwriting assures
you that the up curl at the eud of a
word indicates a hopeful mood and
the droop a despondent one; that if
the haudwritiug begins boldly and
ends in smallor characters u weak will
is indicated, and vice verna Curly
hair is supposed to imply a quick
temper, aud the ileutists will tell you
that the teeth of the curly haired man
pull hard,
"I cau tell as far as 1 see a man,"
oue of them remarked, "whether
his teeth Will be difficult to pull. If
he lias a bull neck and curly Lair, you
will ueed your strongest forceps.
Somehow the roots curl themselves
up hi the bony tissue of the jaw in as
much of a tangle as the hair u If."—
New York Mail and Express.
!:•!• amt trail Swallows,! I»» a snaks.
A remarkable snake story that i»
vouched for by the family of Charles
iiraddock. Hr,, of Hbaumug Township,
N. J., is lobl by John IMIett, the
hired mail.
Iielb-tt went to the barn the other .
day to milk the cow a. t’pou entering
« ne of the stall* he saw a large white- j
throated blacksuakw. It was curled i
up iiiau apparently comfortable post- ■
lion, aud it was uotieed that a rat a 1
tail waa haugrug from its month. {
I>elleti aniuwoued Mr, tiraddoek au«’
other members of hi* family At !
that the men si range I to give battle I
to the reptile, when it we* found to
he dead, Au examination snowed I
that lu its hanger aud greed to gat
the rata, threa le number, the auahe
lie I swatioeed the trap and all. This
ansa I Its death.
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.
Letters anil the Man—A Man of Method
—Whose the Hlatne?—Indelibly Im
printed — All Talk — (living Herself
Avray—Beyond Expectations, Etc.
For mischief done naught can amend
The letters raeu have failed to send.
Aud hearts are pierced with harsh Intent
Uy letters better left uusent.
Great woo comes to us, I believe.
From letters that wo don't receive. }
But heaviest on our soul do sit '
Those letters that Fve never writ.
—Chicago Record.
A Man of Method.
"Isn't Htubbius rather irregular iij
tiis habits?’’
"No; when he borrows he neve;
pays.”
Whose I ho Blame?
"It is false, absolutely false!” she
exclaimed. "He never kissed me.”
"HiR fault or yours?” inquired her
dearest friend insinuatingly.
Indolllily Imprinted,
"I shall never forget that lady lec*
turer; she made a profound impres
sion on me."
"By her intellect?”
‘‘No; she wore a hahy-blue saslj
tinned crooked at the hack.”
All Talk.—— f| —
Smith—"You say that you have a
.(peaking acquaintance with Brown,
yet I notice you never speak on the
street to him.”
‘ Jones—"No; my speaking acquaint
ance with Brown occurred over a tele
phone.1’—Judge.
(living HorsoH Away.
Mrs. Bainbridge—"She doesn’t be
long to the best society.”
Mrs. Marshmallow—"Doesn't she?”
Mrs. Baiubridge—"No, she doesn't.
Why, would yon believe it, anybody
can read her handwriting at the first
trial.”—Judge.
Hr vend Expatriations.
"How did your picnic pan out?”
was asked of the cynic, who had gone
against his will.
"Great! Never so well satisfied in
my life. I counted on rain, but we
bad bail and n young cyclone in addi*
tion.”—Detroit Free Press.
At III* Cirrus.
Something new in hydraulics. t
Itotort Courteons.
“T punish yon," said the fond
mother, “my child, to show my love
fur you.”
“It isu’t necessary," replied the
bright child, “for your love to work
overtime on my account, ma."—Pick*
Me-Lp.
Tin* Kong-Service Alter l lie Sermon.
“Did yon hear the music, Edith?1
“Ob, yes.”
“Can you toll me how it sounded?"
“It sounded—it sounded like un
ice-cream soda tastes, mamma, just
after ouo has boon to a funeral.”
Judge.
Outr In «*««<!.
“You must remember," said the
proud Yankee girl, “that I am a
Daughter of the Kevolntiou."
“Pooh!" exclaimed the beautiful,
darked-eyed woman from Central
America. “I am a Daughter of Six
Devolutions. "—Chicago Times-Her
aid.
Kcanonlng li Out.
“Judge, they are accusing you ot
favoring your frieuds end being too
severe on your enemies when you get
a chance at them."
"Oh, well, it will average up all
fight in the long run, so justice in tha
Abstract is none the loser."—Indiana*
polls Journal.
Iluinmlm.
She (at the depot) —“It must li
iwfully hard for these poor foreigner
who coiue to this couutry to IIml tlieiu
•elves stranger* in a strange laud."
lie- “Oh, they don't mind it! You
■re, they are u*«d to it, havtug been
born «tnl raised in foreign land*."
She—“True; I never thought of
that. "—Chicago News
I ll«Mk l«Mr|.Uae:*l,
First Witae** “The prisoner is iu
aoeeat'"
Sec >ml Wiiure* •“ The prisoner is
guilty!"
First \YiIs»m ulctisullyi — “Of pre
cisely wHal is the prtsone* guilty?"
Second Witness more Jrlianlly) —
precisely what is the prt*oaer in
uoeent?"
First Wiinest — “lla!"
Second Witness '“Its!"
I lie litre tui threat* to elear tha
•»uft room if applause eiatiuues).-»
Washington Star.
