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About The Loup City northwestern. (Loup City, Neb.) 189?-1917 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 29, 1899)
V ^1 ^S<SaWXiBC*'S’4<« • •<•'» i'SI!!#!? s-s»^ | TALES OF FLOCK f | AND ADVENTURE. { Tlic MI«»lon Women In tlie Fiji*. Among the friends made iu the enly dava of my ministry, writes O. W. Payne, in the New Voice, was the ltev. William Moore, now deceased, and several members of his family. Mr. Moore labored for many years in the Fijian Methodist Missiou, his career dating hack into the dark days j of lust and blood amid which that mission begau. His party landed j among cannibal savages. Anarchy and | bloodshed prevailed on every side, j The missionaries were frequently threatened with instant destruction, their houses destroyed and their prop erty stolen, Iu other parts of the group mission workers found u martyr’s death. Many stirring iuci- I dents occurred in the earlier and I darker days of their work which have never been recorded. The incident of which I write was related some years since in my hearing. Hhortly after the advent of the mis sion party referred to, a leading chief, named Thakombau, acquired consid erable influence over the savages throughout the group, fie was a man of great intelligence and striking per sonality. In later years, by wise r statecraft, he brought the scattered tribes of Fiji into some sem blance of true nationality. Jiut hia superiority displayed itself dur ing early manhood iu the successful conduct of numerous wars with neigh boring tribes. After every battle can nibal feasts were held to celebrate a victory or to ameliorate the chagrin of • temporary repulse. At such times prisoners captured iu war or kidnapped from hostile villages were clubbed and eaten. After some years the mission anes succeeded hi rescuing many of the prisoners destined for death, aud occasionally in checking the wild orgies over those actually slain. During one of the frequent tribal warn the missionaries jourueyed to a distant village with a view of recon ciling the tribes concerned. Thakom bau, for the time being, resided iu a village adjacent to the mission station. During the absence of the missionaries a party of his warriors brought in seven women captured while gather ing food on the plantations of their enemies. The chief forthwith deoided to celebrate a great feast, aud all night long preparations were in progress. In the early morning news came to the mission house that crowds were gathering to witness the slaugh ter of the captives and to participate in the feast. The wives of the mis sionaries were aloue with their little ones and a few faithful attendants, while the country was full of yelling savages. In the absence of their husbands no one remained to de nounce the iniquity or plead for the victims. After brief consultation these heroic women, leaving their little ones and commending all to God, determined to act as the mis sionaries would have done had they been at home. When they reached the scene the butchery had begnn. Three bodies lay side by side, the skulls dashed in by the death-club. Without a moment's hesitation these dauntless women confronted the frowning chief, denouncing the horrid iniquity of it all and warning him of the wrath of heaveu against his deeds. Then they pleaded for the lives of the remaining captives. The chief waited till they had finished speaking. All present expected to see an outburst of rage culminating iu the death of those who dared to cross his purpose in such a way. A word, or even a gesture, and their bodies would have lain beside those at their feet. For a moment a lurid gleam shot into the fierce countenance; but* it passed as quickly as it came. “What I have killed I have killed,” he said. * The others are yours. Take them. Go!” With feverish haste the noble wom en loosed the bonds of the captives aud led them away. On** (inn \tiuniwl a II*giin«*lit. A fresh story of a naval ollicer’s rourage iu the Philippines is brought to Washington by Surgeon Stone, late of the Heuuiugton, who is now in the city. Its hero is Lieutenant Emory Wiuship, also of the Heuuiugton, anil now on leave iu this couutry, recover ing from the effects of live Mauser ballets gathered in various parts of his anatomy while saving a landing party of 1 'Jo men from being cut up by a regiment of Filipiuos. It happeued shortly after the bom harduieut of Matabou, about MarchS, that Admiral Dewey expressed a wish for some photographs of the earth works and houses that had been struck bv the leu inch shells from the Monaduock. Commander Taumg said ! that if he were allowed to laud a few boat loads o| meu he could get all the j photograph* wanted. It «a> believed at that time that the hostile* bed all vacated that part of the »bure, so per miaeion wa* gtvigi to laud a party Several boat*, with between I Jib sod Ifll» men, slatted ashore aud uu land ing made for an old shureh which was the chief object of interest A tales idea of eeenrity led them to , advance very rarelensly, throwing out | no advance an I taking nothing but their side at me- *>u|y e b»at guard of two meu under kVtuship wa* tell to keep up steam in the launeh whteh j had towed in the landtag party, but fortunately the launch had a •mall automate gun monated forward, and Wmabip vm well ae-|watnted with its working. The leading party had gone intend e»me little dtatauee, when they were surprised by e whole isgimeal of Flit pinen, who tud febly appear* I out of the jungle. The uatives advanced on the run, shooting wild, hut confident of cutting oil’ the whole party. Those ashore expected little else, hut seeing it was a case of a foot race or a fu neral, they doubled hack for the boats, yelliug lustily. That was where NVinship came on ilia star part. He unlimhered his machine gun on the Filipinos, calculating closely, so as not to enfilade his own comrades. It was practically one mail against a thousand, and the natives came on with a rush, hoping to put the lone gunner out of action before bis fel lows could reach the launch, Winship received the hulk of their fire, thereby also contributing to the safety of the landing party, but he stood up to his work. He was struck five times— once in the shoulder, the arm, the hip, and twice in the leg. He braced him self and continued to train the gnu while bis men fed it ammunition. Thirty Filipinos dropped under bis lire before the little jungle men de cided they had enough. Their rush was checked and then they ran, pur sued by the relentless tire of Win sbip’s lone gun. The retreating boat crews reached the shore just in time to see Winship sink down in the bow of the launch. The closest estimate that could he made of the enemy's loss was about sixty killed and wounded.—Washing ton Star. •Viint Sh v«*rl From Heath. A thrilling incident occurred a few mornings ago at the R. and O. H. NV. Railroad bridge over Hogan Creek, near Lawreuceburg, Ind. Two men named Hatch and Powell were walk ing across the bridge when train No. 4, known as the “Newspaper Train,” from St. Louis, came rolling down upou them. It was too great a dis tance from end to end of the bridge for the men to escape in that way, and to leap from it meant a fall of sixty feet and almost certain death. To lie dowu on each side of the track was almost sure death, us there was not room enough. In terror the two men laid down by the side of the rails. Frank Evans, the engineer, saw the men and reversed his engine with such promptness and applied the brakes with such energy that the fly ing train was brought to a sudden standstill. It was none too soon, for when the engine stopped the two men lay pinioned, bruised und bleeding, beueath the ponderous engine that held them fast in the very jaws of an impending death. Evans called out to the helpless men: “Keep quiet, I will save you,” then slowly backed the train of)'the imprisoned men and off the bridge, so that they could crawl out of the reach of further dan ger. Their clothes were in rags, but their limbs were uubroken. The Bugler Who Forgot. It is not often that an enlisted man gets a chance to run a part of the fight to suit himself. That chance, how ever,came toone bugler. Captain Han nay, finding that L Company was too far away to hear orders, sent his bugler after the company to sound the charge, At the first notes L Hew onward. It was right here that the bugler for got, for the time being that he was only the commanding officer’s orderly. He saw another chance for L to move ou the jump—too good a chance, he thought, to be lost. lie sounded once more, and Lieuteuaut Ross, imagin ing, of course, that the order came from Captain Hatinay, executed it. Not even yet was the bugler’s thirst for forward action sated. He sounded again and again, as the heat of gener alship made his blood How fast und hot. Ry the time the bugler came to himself and relinquished the duties of fight-director, the poor fellows of L Company were troubled with short ness of breath. In this brisk affair, according to the official report, the dead reached a total of about sixty, including some officers. It is the enemy’s dead that is meant, of course. Twenty-one Mausers and six Reming tons were the spoils of this field.— Manila Correspondent in Leslie’s Weekly. Adventure With »» Hear. While berrying uu the Ammeuia Mountains a few days ago Mrs. Samuel Stanton, of Canton, l’euu., was startled by a crackling sound in the bushes. Investigation revealed a huge bluck bear eating berries ott' a bush. The beast came at hernud seized her bucket of berries, while the woman, terriiied, tied down the mountain with the bear following her. II unters who went out found tbe empty bucket, but no bear. LI It dug Chamc No rat riot. ‘‘I regret to say that I may have to shatter a possible American idea," says Admiral Charles lleresford. "Li Hung Chang ia uu patriot. He ia nothing but a selfish old millionaire, auxioua to make money at the expense of hia country's ruin. "It doesn’t make any difference what his political sympathies are, whether he is the friend of Hussia or Kuglsud. He is a cipher, without ottlde aud without influence. "His successor as Viceroy of China ia Juug Lu, now the diplomat of highest rank in tha Umpire. He la friendly to tbe opeu door,' though it be heht open with the irou baud. The Liuperor of Chius ia still alive, re porls of his aasasMuatiou to the eou trary notwithstanding, lie was a re former, but he tried to reform tt*o fast "You can't alter the system of 4UUII years m a few mouths, and, as he tried, he was asked to *tep down. The Itowager tlwpreae, who Las been a power in Chinese palace politics for two generation*, rales as regent in the name of the t'.mpvror. ‘-—Me* t.uglsnd Mag*sine Norwsigeu legidstor* propose that girls who do nut know how to knit, mw, wash sad cook shuald be refused permission to mnrry, ttnnghter* of wealthy men we not to be exceptetl. * NEWS AND NOTES 1 t FOR WOMEN. I £ * m ^O(9tO«(«*3(()tOI(**^3fe>tQ(ei(*5l0(OI0la The lileitl XIutiler. She never describes her aches and pains. She never dwells on unpleasant reminiscences. She is never a martyr. She never corrects the children in the presence of any one. She lets everyone have affairs of his or her own. She is always polite and cordial to the children’s friends.—Philadelphia Record. K««|i C|> tlie Lllurr. A thoughtful woman says that the “journal habit” should be discouraged in young girls, as writiug down the thoughts, feelings and impressions of immaturity and inexperience tends to the development of self-consciousness and introspection at a time when they cau do more harm than good. A diary, however, is a different matter, and should be encouraged, as it may be of value in after years, in its record of dates and happenings. K«iiimI«' Nimrod*. Lady Hopetouu, wife of the Lord Chamberlain, is one of the cleverest of a galaxy of female Nimroils, which includes Lady Haudhurst, Lady Beaumont and the Duchess of Bed ford, and she cau bring down any thing from a partridge to a stag as skillfully as cau most men. In Aus tralia the used to practice regularly at the rifle range, and her score of “bulls” was the euvy of many met shooters. Deer stalking is her favor ite relaxation, and many a tine buck has fallen to her gun. Tin* KovIvmI ol Coral. Coral beads used to be considered the correct and necessary thing to wear, with muslin gowns and other pretty, old-fashioned toilets appro priated by the present fashion. Perhaps, also, if there be one color in jewelry as to the beauty of which all tastes, from the least cultivated to that of the connoisseur, accord, it is for red in its various tones. Its re vival began in the favorite old form of beads. It has found its best field again in the fashionable long chains, and it is in this hue that jewelers make their principal display. Next to chains in extent of display come brooches and tpius. A dainty new fancy noted is the combination of pearls and coral in one or two fine brooches, the design being a crescent inclosing a star. An establishment catering to the finest trade reports coral unequivocally as “coming in,” and displuys a variety of chains and some new designs in pins and brooches. Commonplace (ilrli. The brilliant and unusual girl gets more than her meed of praise, but we just go on loving the commonplace girl for the nice little part she plays in life and seldom think of telling her what we do. And the commouplace girl is so apt to underestimate her worth. You know that time and again she lias come to you for comfort be cause she declared she was such a social failure, such a commonplace mortal. My dear little commonplace girl, it is the commouplace men and women who make up the greater part of the world, and it is the commouplace men and women who attend to the small but necessary matters that go to make up the great sum total of our lives and the world’s affairs generally. The geniuses are too busy to look after small matters, and, besides, the geni uses are so few! Maybe out of a thousand folk there will be but one unusual one. The balance are just commonplace. I he commonplace woman is not the inferior woman. The commonplace woman comes just up to the accepted standard of what a woman should be, when all is said aud dout*. Each of us may have nu ideal, but we are all quite conscious that in some way, us time bus passed ou iuto eternity and Mother Eve’s daughters have lived ami loved and worked and smiled, a standard has been fixed. To sink below it is sadly disappointing to those who look for all that is best in womanhood; to rise above it puts one in the ranks of the unusual. Our greatuess or our inferiority, as men aud women, only stands out prominently because there is a standard.—Philadelphia Inquirer, H nw to Take Car* of I'earla. Pearls are undoubtedly one of the most beautiful of precious stones, aud those persons who are fortunate pos sessors of them have, doubtless, been puzzled many a time as to the best way of keepiug them nice A good way of .trighteuing up the appearance of pearls is to wash them iu soap aud water, that is, if they are what is kuown as “whole" pearls. | Hut should they lie only half pearls, j the greatest care must be exercised in ! keepiug them out of water, as this Ituid affects their color aud lustre, aud iu time causes them to become quite black. People who posse** a ring or brooch I that consist of half pearls tiud it a most difficult mailer to dean litem. When they look dirty, jud take a dry, I clean leather au«l polish them, aud ; thru lhal being doue lake a a >ft brush and go gently over the settings, and , you will be surprised at the increased inslre and ebsn look wlusli Ibis aim pie process Its* gtten to the pearls, I'i art* ate valued a cording to tbstr color aud lustre, aud so, if the color [ fades, so does Ibe i|lm, sad pewits that are kepi locked up fur any length of time lose their color entirely. The wearing uf peerls do them far more good, and the great pity re that some , people who he*e in their poaseestun pearl necklace* end ttug* never alluw them to see daylight, but keep them io k‘ I awsy in a j«««l esse, and thus the color and the value of the pearls are mined. Pearls should never be kept locked up for more than a week at a stretch, aud if possible they should be worn every day, aud in the end yon will lie rewarded by seeing how much handsomer they have be come through contact with the fresh air.—Woman’s Life. Tl»* Woman of tli* AnigHti*. Barhizon, a little village in the midst of the forest of Fontainebleau, a short distance from Paris, has become a goal of pilgrimage for many admirers of Millet’s work, am! particularly for those who know that the woman who suggested to the great painter his fa mous picture of “The Angelas” still lives there in a little cottage a stone's throw from where she was born. Mere Adele’s home is a small viueclad cot tage, in which she lives a frugal but comfortable life, troubled only by the overinquisitive tourists aud by her rheumatism. Hhe must have been an attractive woman once, for even now, although she has witnessed the pass ing of more than threescore years and ten, there are traces of former beauty iu her wrinkled face. Mere Adele is a lady, though she has woru her fingers blunt by toil, and her form is bent under the burdens sho has hail to bear. When Hhe looks at you her smile is like atmueditiou, aud the beautiful things of earth are not lost upon her. Her manner is cheer ful, aa one who feels Hhe has not lived iu vain. If questioned closely she will tell you of the day when the great artist came through the dense forest with his wife and children, leaving be hind him the gay city of Paris with its schools of paintiug aud its models. Hhe knows a great deal of the very hard days which followed for Jeau Francois Millet—the toil, the anxiety, the disappointments. Hhe nursed his five children, aud did the little field work in the garden adjoining the cot tage. When he saw his nurse-girl, Adele, aud her father reverently bow ing their heads in prayer at the ring ing of the Augelus he conceived the picture which, if not his best work, is yet the best known, and the one most appreciated by the people. Mere Adele calls herself a child of God. Hhe looks itiu the painting, and she lives it every day iu her humble cottage.— Woman's Home Companion. fioulp. The chignon is to be revived. Rosa Bonhenr was of Jewish extrac tion. Women have been enfranchised in Western Australia. In one month Helen Gould received over six hundred begging letters. Baroness James de Rothschild owns the finest collection of fans in Europe. Sarah Bernhardt is writing her rem iniscences. They will fill two large volumes. News from London states that Lady Warwick is doing good work for the labor movement in England. Archduchess Stephanie, daughter of the King of Belgians, is known to her friends by the nickname of “Step.” Mrs, J. Pierpont Morgan owns a dinner service that cost $50,000. It is made of silver gilt, and there are 300 pieces in the set. While it is conceded that the study of astronomy calls for abstract and exact thought, yet many women have gained eminence in this science. Women sailors are employed in Denmark, Norway and Sweden, and they are often found to be most ex cellent and delightful mariners. The Kansas State Federation now consists', of ninety-two clubs, with uhout four thousand members, an in crease the last year of one thousand members. Mrs. Phiobe R. Hturtevant, of Ja maica Plain, Mass., has agreed to fur nish the greater part of the money to build a $70,000 dormitory for girls at the Hebron (Me.) Academy. A noted costumer of Loudon says he has designated $200,000 worth of costumes for one woman, while a pair of stockings he provided for a noted belle cost $500 and a tea gown $3500. Mrs, Caroline B. Nichols, of Bos ton, is making a name for herself as one of the most competent musical di rectors in the country. Hhe is leader aud musical director of the Bustou Woman’s Fadette Orchestra. Miss Daisy Letter, who will be re membered by her American frieuds as a super!) horseback rider, has taken up elephant riding as an amusement while in India. Hhe has a pet ele phant, which she is training herself. ..... TolUt Hints. Never mistake fads for fashions. Cloves and shoes too small aie de cidedly had form. Ripped garments aud frayed edges are fatal ta smartuess. A sense of appropriateness iu attire is more desirable than riches. Oood grooming is the necessary preliminary to smart dressing. The little spade-fronted jacket agaiu is coming iu tor a good deal of es teem. Well-brushed skirts, well-cleaued j shoes, aud a tutu waist lute costs nothing. Learu bow to carry the body cor- i redly if yon expect fo carry your i clothes well. Fresh linen is as essential to the smartly dreesed girl as to the correct ly dressed man. Dry hair aud scaly scalp require nourishing Hub a little olive oil into the roots of the hair with the An <*r tip# twice a week, making pari mgs din Ike bea-l fur tkat purpose. Hweet spirits of nitre is oae of the i-cst and simplest wf toilet waters It ■a an excellent deoduriset, an I while |ro«aeeaiag n-> actual fragrance itsslf. ■opart* a most acceptable aroma of Ivauiiueaa, "CANCWAY!" A N*w W*r Cry liaised l»y Our Men Ir i the riilliiiplue*. The Manila correspondent of Col lier’s Weekly, writes as follows: The enemy were invisible aud shooting. That made it necessary for Uncle Ham’s troopers to go on until they got near enough to get a good close view of the little brown euemy. And they did it with splendid spirit, rushing, shooting, cheering and laughing. Two companies of Cook’s battalion of the Third were ordered to the left of the railroad, while the other two com panies, under Captain Cook, kept to the right of the tiack. All four of the companies were made tip mainly of “rookies,” ns recuits are called, but they made up iu spirit what they lacked in effective drill. As the two companies to thq left of the track, under Captain Day aud Lieutenaut Hannay, got their first glimpse of the shooting euemy their officers shouted out to steady their commands. It was unnecessary, One tall rooky, who was the first to catch sight of the heads of the mass of Fili pinos abend, yelled gleefully: “Gang way!” With one accord the two com panies took up the cry of “Gangway!” aud on they rushed. It was their slogau. They kept it up uutil they readied the thrown-up dirt of the trench aud saw the Filipinos, now an irregular mass, fleeing a hundred yards ahead of them. The Filipinos gained another trench, hut “Gang way!” was the battle cry that drove them out of it. It was the same with the third liue of trenches. Parenthet ically, it is understood, of course, that our boys shot off something be sides “Gangway!” Dead and wound ed Filipiuos strewed the ground aud filled the trenches. Our losses all along the line that day were tri fling by comparison. Day’s and Han uey’s companies, for instance, which suffered rather more than the average losses, had five men killed snd eleven wounded. Hut that cry of “Gangway!' is fam ous over iu the Filipinos lines. In surgents who have been broughtiu either wounded or prisoners have in quired eagerly the meaning and po tency of that mysterious Yankee word which invariably preceded a Filipino retreat. And so the Third has con tributed anothsr famous word to the technical slang of the American sol dier. liKlInii VHIhb*' I.oal. Historians are at a loss to account for the apparent ruins of au Indian village in Hilver Creek Township, Michigan, about half a mile west of Indian Lake. In 1843, when William Gilbert, one of the wealthiest farmers iu this section, built his house in this locality, he built upon the ruins of what had evidently been a church. In fact, settlers iu the twenties claim to have attended church there, the ser vice being conducted by a priest from I3ertraud or Notre Dame. Other old settlers state that in the early thirties one Slater taught school there, later going to the vicinity of Yankee Springs and continuing that occupation there. The fact of its be ing a schoolhouse would not preclude its being used occasionally as a church, aud there are in existence in this city records of baptism of Indian children at the “Church of the Indian Village.” On this same farm were ruins of nine sugar camps, each about twelve by sixteen in size, with holes bored iu a log at the back, in which sticks had been driveu on which to make their beds. Copper kettles were used, and copper knives, nails aud natcliets, of poor temper, have been plowed up there. There is not au ludinn in this vicinity who knows anything about this church or school, yet the evi dence that oue did exist is indisputa ble. Indian Lake was named from the fact that this locality was the favorite resort of the ludians iu the muple sugar seuson.—Detroit News. Dpiitlfit Tel Ip l»y Sl|(iift. A peculiar actual or imugiued cor respondence has been developed be tween physical acts and mental atti tudes. The elocutionist declares tliut the sledgehammer gesture indicates emphasis aud t he hands opened with uu outward spread of the arms candor. The student of handwriting assures you that the up curl at the eud of a word indicates a hopeful mood and the droop a despondent one; that if the haudwritiug begins boldly and ends in smallor characters u weak will is indicated, and vice verna Curly hair is supposed to imply a quick temper, aud the ileutists will tell you that the teeth of the curly haired man pull hard, "I cau tell as far as 1 see a man," oue of them remarked, "whether his teeth Will be difficult to pull. If he lias a bull neck and curly Lair, you will ueed your strongest forceps. Somehow the roots curl themselves up hi the bony tissue of the jaw in as much of a tangle as the hair u If."— New York Mail and Express. !:•!• amt trail Swallows,! I»» a snaks. A remarkable snake story that i» vouched for by the family of Charles iiraddock. Hr,, of Hbaumug Township, N. J., is lobl by John IMIett, the hired mail. Iielb-tt went to the barn the other . day to milk the cow a. t’pou entering « ne of the stall* he saw a large white- j throated blacksuakw. It was curled i up iiiau apparently comfortable post- ■ lion, aud it was uotieed that a rat a 1 tail waa haugrug from its month. { I>elleti aniuwoued Mr, tiraddoek au«’ other members of hi* family At ! that the men si range I to give battle I to the reptile, when it we* found to he dead, Au examination snowed I that lu its hanger aud greed to gat the rata, threa le number, the auahe lie I swatioeed the trap and all. This ansa I Its death. THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Letters anil the Man—A Man of Method —Whose the Hlatne?—Indelibly Im printed — All Talk — (living Herself Avray—Beyond Expectations, Etc. For mischief done naught can amend The letters raeu have failed to send. Aud hearts are pierced with harsh Intent Uy letters better left uusent. Great woo comes to us, I believe. From letters that wo don't receive. } But heaviest on our soul do sit ' Those letters that Fve never writ. —Chicago Record. A Man of Method. "Isn't Htubbius rather irregular iij tiis habits?’’ "No; when he borrows he neve; pays.” Whose I ho Blame? "It is false, absolutely false!” she exclaimed. "He never kissed me.” "HiR fault or yours?” inquired her dearest friend insinuatingly. Indolllily Imprinted, "I shall never forget that lady lec* turer; she made a profound impres sion on me." "By her intellect?” ‘‘No; she wore a hahy-blue saslj tinned crooked at the hack.” All Talk.—— f| — Smith—"You say that you have a .(peaking acquaintance with Brown, yet I notice you never speak on the street to him.” ‘ Jones—"No; my speaking acquaint ance with Brown occurred over a tele phone.1’—Judge. (living HorsoH Away. Mrs. Bainbridge—"She doesn’t be long to the best society.” Mrs. Marshmallow—"Doesn't she?” Mrs. Baiubridge—"No, she doesn't. Why, would yon believe it, anybody can read her handwriting at the first trial.”—Judge. Hr vend Expatriations. "How did your picnic pan out?” was asked of the cynic, who had gone against his will. "Great! Never so well satisfied in my life. I counted on rain, but we bad bail and n young cyclone in addi* tion.”—Detroit Free Press. At III* Cirrus. Something new in hydraulics. t Itotort Courteons. “T punish yon," said the fond mother, “my child, to show my love fur you.” “It isu’t necessary," replied the bright child, “for your love to work overtime on my account, ma."—Pick* Me-Lp. Tin* Kong-Service Alter l lie Sermon. “Did yon hear the music, Edith?1 “Ob, yes.” “Can you toll me how it sounded?" “It sounded—it sounded like un ice-cream soda tastes, mamma, just after ouo has boon to a funeral.” Judge. Outr In «*««<!. “You must remember," said the proud Yankee girl, “that I am a Daughter of the Kevolntiou." “Pooh!" exclaimed the beautiful, darked-eyed woman from Central America. “I am a Daughter of Six Devolutions. "—Chicago Times-Her aid. Kcanonlng li Out. “Judge, they are accusing you ot favoring your frieuds end being too severe on your enemies when you get a chance at them." "Oh, well, it will average up all fight in the long run, so justice in tha Abstract is none the loser."—Indiana* polls Journal. Iluinmlm. She (at the depot) —“It must li iwfully hard for these poor foreigner who coiue to this couutry to IIml tlieiu •elves stranger* in a strange laud." lie- “Oh, they don't mind it! You ■re, they are u*«d to it, havtug been born «tnl raised in foreign land*." She—“True; I never thought of that. "—Chicago News I ll«Mk l«Mr|.Uae:*l, First Witae** “The prisoner is iu aoeeat'" Sec >ml Wiiure* •“ The prisoner is guilty!" First \YiIs»m ulctisullyi — “Of pre cisely wHal is the prtsone* guilty?" Second Witness more Jrlianlly) — precisely what is the prt*oaer in uoeent?" First Wiinest — “lla!" Second Witness '“Its!" I lie litre tui threat* to elear tha •»uft room if applause eiatiuues).-» Washington Star.