OIPLS AT THE TELEPHONE.
Behavior of Several Types To Be Found
in New York.
New York Press: When I received
*n order from the editor to write up
the telephone girls of New York I
sighed, for up to that time I had not
noted specially the telephone genius
and I feared there was neither class
nor variety. Hut I took up my posi
tion In a public telephone pay station
and watched. And soon 1 saw enough
to repay me for my trouble.
It was a dull morning, very much
like Ixmdon with a fog settling all
THE PHILADELPHIA GIRL.
around and the rain coming down in
drizzles. 1 was therefore not surprised
to see a young woman come in
wrapped in a long, loose cloak of bril
liant plaid. The cloak was very Eng
gllsh in cut and the young woman
wore an immense hat, all velvet and
plumes, just as they do in England
during the April season.
SheT turned the little knob which
called, up the central office, and then,
putting her mouth down to the re
ceiver, she called out, ‘‘Aw—” She did
not sky "Hello,” as we do here. "I
wantjthe Hotel Fifth avenue.” There
was a wait then she said, "The Hotel
Fifth avenue, don’t you understand?”
Then followed a conversation some
thing like this.
“I don’t know the number, aw—
come you—”
"Ob, thank you ever so much. Is
r Mr. Marks in his room?”
"80 sorry to tell you that I have a
wretched cold. Cawn’t go on tomor
row night.”
A iong Interval during which the
young woman scowled and seemed to
be getting pretty mad.
"But I tell you I cawn’t."
"Well, you can accept my resigna
tion, then. I leave today. I want to
go into Mr. Daly’s company, anyway. I
hate the wretched Gaiety girls and I
won’t be a Gaiety girl any more.”
The telephone began to buzz so loud
that the girl grew frightened and
throwing the handle at the w’all she
went out of the door without ringing
ENOUHII OAIETY (11KI..
..ft
IHrectly on bar beat* there tame a
very deni urn-looking young woman
Into the trlephuue station, Mb*, too,
»or« a long cloak but It waa o! a dlf
fcrent aort. It waa a dark, atudloua
brown. Hard with a llttla modaat
plaid, liar hat waa vary much out of
data, but aba had a awaat fact and I
listened to hear what »h« would »ay.
* flirt !&• l.IWty.*
“la that you art <U*a' ‘
I tailed you up to tall you that 1
hart atcurad a model from tb# ityrlan
quarter Ma U a parfart beauty Kaaa
breach#*, embroidered )*. ket, far atd
alt that aort of tblaa “ M*ra our Iku
t»aaaa forgot bar tradttioa aad burat
lata a llttla girtUb gw*h la pralaa
of Iba model *t» t ibe bad *•« uiad
In iba dyrUin quarter.
Me am i* ait', u. *bia af'e-■■ » u at
I Hut #*y gtrU wa alii ba»a to par
bim a dollar at hour Ha la worth It.
though aad ha la toab a beaut * aad
we aaa bare him bay time of 4a* or
night Ha waa aaitiag little awpa aad
•bueara tad aimuat wapt • tb t ail
tude wbaa I aakad him tv pan* N Wh"
The sun was just coming through
the clouds when a very dashing
creature entered the telephone station.
She wore a black dress and a stunning
black hat which sat upon her head at a
very peculiar angle. The black dress
was held up well around her figure so
as to show a remarkable petticoat of
red satin.
‘‘Parlez-vous Francals?" she asked
as she rang the bell.
The answer was apparently not sat
isfactory. “Non, zen 1 must do zee
best I can. Gif me zat numbaire zat
you call Cortlandt.”
The telephone girl had a great deal
of trouble apparently at the other end,
but after a time the young woman from
gay Paree found herself In communi
cation with a milliner on Fifth ave
nue. Zee hat, zee hat zat I bought.
Eet ees not arrlvee. I wait until ze
curtain go oop last night, zen I sat In
zee audience wlz my big hat In my lap
because I have not zee new chapeau.”
Then followed a few arguments In
Anglo-Franco which must have had
the effect of paralyzing the milliner
at the other end of the line, for the
girl from gay Paree swept out with a
very satisfied expression.
The Boston girl is always busy. She
Is the most Industrious creature that
walks. Therefore, when a young
woman came rushing Into the station
with her dress held up to keep it out
of the mud, and a serious face as
though the business of the world
rested upon her, 1 was not surprised to
learn that she was from Boston. She
was bent on making money, as all
Boston girls are. and like them she
was going to do it in the most elegant
way.
“Hello, give me Dresden & CO.”
“Hello, Dresden, did you get those
THE DENVER GIRD.
cups and saucers safely yesterday? 1
finished the last of them the day be
fore and put them through the kiln as
rapidly as possible.”
‘‘What! not thoroughly glazed?
Well, send them back. The kiln i9 a
new one. I just imported it from Lon
don, where it was made after one used
by the people who supply china to her
majesty. Send them back and 1 will
give them another firing.”
‘‘About the check. Oh. thank you.
Yes, 1 will probably receive it in this
afternoon’s mail. I am going south to
stay a week and shall take the coast
steamer. Will be back in time to do
your June wedding orders. Goodby.”
And so'the Boston girl, on work and
pleasure bent, ran off.
The so-called sleepy Philadelphia
girl isn't as sleepy as she might be. 1
have discovered that a New York girl
llirts half the time, but a Philadelphia
girl flirts all the time. She is quiet
In her ways and very elegant in her
demeanor; but look out for her, ye
women with marriageable sons; she
will catch the sons every time. Look
how the Philadelphia girts got all the
Astors William Waldorf and John
Jacob. The Philadelphia girl who
THE BMTOM UIMI..
IHIO lit I Ml
*«n • <lt«tn »«* »•**« M
Mr «*» Mt|ii ul i 4 * **»• Mm
hat was a coquettish thing with feath
er trailing upon her blonde hair. Her
cuffs were white, J.e kind that set oft
the hands so well, and she wore an
Immaculate white tie and very giddy
white spats. Her conversation was
too fragmentary to make out Its im
port. It was something like this:
“Did you call me up? Oh. I must
have made a mistake. I thought you
did. Then It was somebody else.’’
“When did you say you were coming
to call?”
“Certainly. I shall be home all the
evening—so glad.”
"Violets, please. I never wear any
thing else this time of year.”
“Oh, thank you again. I am so fond
of chocolates.”
THE GIRL FROM GAY PAREE.
“What! and er—and a book, too?
Oh, really, you must not send me any
thing more. Good-by.”
When the Denver girl telephones she
treats the ’phone as though she were
afraid of It. She stands off from the
’phone and shouts into It as though
she were a member of the House
speaking to the chair. She does not
do much telephoning, for in Denver
"the people” live near each other; a
girl can always go out to call on any
one she pleases and the telephone
hangs Idle on the wall. The Deuver
girl is Just now very patriotic, and 1
saw one of her In New York that day
wearing the Stars and Stripes. She
was timid and acted as though she
were afraid of the telephone.—John
Merrifield.
KILLED ROMANCE.
The Woman Who linn Away Shed* Home
New Light.
“A new- phase was thrown on the
elopement question by an incident that
happened to my wife not long ago,”
said a noted criminal lawyer. “You
may recognize the people without my
using any names. The case was a fa
mous one. The husband was promi
nent, but the marriage was uncon
genial, and in a moment of folly the
woman ran away with a handsome
man. It was a terrible case of In
fatuation and made a great scandal.
The pair remained away for a while,
but after about a year they reap
peared in the city, and one day my
wife came face to face with the la—I
mean woman, in a street car. They had
known each other pretty well before
the escapade, and this being the case
it made it very hard to adjust them
selves to the situation. My wife felt
that as she often speaks to men she
has no respect for. in common with the
rest of the world, she made up her
mind to treat the sinful woman as she
did sinful men, and she said: ‘How do
you do, Julia?' using the given name,
because she did not just know how
to call her. Well, they drifted into con- j
vernation about everything but what |
was uppermost in both minds. Slid- j
denl.v Julia said: You no doubt think '
1 am a dreadful creature?' My wife
begged her not to talk of what had
passed. ‘Yes, I want to,’ insisted she
of the escapade. ‘I presume you think
1 am living a very romantic existence.
‘‘Love and the world well lost,” and all
that sort of thing; but no. no, far from
It. It Is the Impossibility of being ro
mantic that makes the fate I have
brought upon myself hard to liear. To
do practical things for a men who is
not your husband, but ought to tie
Is almolutely destructive to romance; 1
to see him en neglige has the same ef
feet, and nothing but marriage can |
sanctify a snore ‘ My wife looked
shocked ‘Oh said the erring one.
with £ hard little laugh. T amaxr you
no doubt. Sly dear, I have been i
through the Urea of Made* in the last !
rear* Cut by my acquaintances, living
in a style far below what I have been
accustomed to; In constant dread that ;
the man who taiked me Into my folly
will leave me oh. what a lot of pretty
aomrn there are In the world trying
to keep from seeing old friends on the
street for fear tfcey ehouldn t see me
•o I have been well puniehed for what 1
I «|id, J can a outre you 1 ”
foteeOw 1 o""*« wt ses.uvs a »*,«.,
Htatisttm have been prepared kt the
government ettuwlng that American
• «porU of mwnufar ured goods now
average 11 *mo uuo a day There were
.of working da»» during the Krai right
monthe of the .orient fnsl year an I
during that lime the total Mp.ru
s c re |.’ sr*1 Ik -■ * • - * * *... , f
|f« you on*' or if per «*m oyer ih*
turuapX'lllf per tod of Ike previous
year
THE DUTIES OF A WHIP.
Ill* Influence In (ircakr Than That of
Mon! Cabinet MImIhHtn.
There Is nothing more curious In
English politics than the position of a
successful whip, says the Iondon Spec
tator. He Is as completely unrecog
nized by the constitution as the cab
inet is and is usually paid either as
"patronage secretary to the treasury”
or through some sinecure office, but he
Is, when efficient, one of the most im
portant wheels in the political ma
chine. He writes no reports; he ex
ercises no patronage of any moment;
he Is responsible for no measure, and
he Is rarely one of the speakers re
lied on by the government. The pub
lic seldom knows anything about him,
and he Is, as a rule, only criticised in
the newspapers when he lias made a
blunder; but he has more influence In
shaping the Internal policy of the
country than any cabinet minister
outside the two or three who really
rule. He Is the true "power behind
the throne." and many a project has
been baffled, many a grand programme
drawn up, because a whip has shaken
his head or has urged that on such and
such a matter "something must bo
done."
His business is not merely, as tht
public Imagines, to warn members of
important divisions, and so keep the
party together and enable business to
get on, or even, as Sir William Huy
ter once defined it, to conciliate the
real masters by persuasive words,
email concessions, pleasant arrange
ments, or whispered promises of polit
ical or social advancement. He per
forms those functions, it Is true, and is
lucky If in performing (hem he does
not become something of a cynic, and
doubtful of the perfectibility of hu
man nature; but he has a higher func
tion than that. It is his business to
gather up in Intimate conversations
the true sense of the house of com
mons, and especially of his own party
In if, to understand why a proposal
will not "go down,” to detect the half
formulated wish of a majority, to pen
etrate, in fact.to fnat inner wall which
so often controls the conscious will,
and which is possessed not only by
most strong individuals, but by ail
great corporations. He confides his
opinion to the cabinet, and especially
to the premier, and unless the head of
her majesty's government Is a man of
very resolute and Independent Judg
ment. or the cabinet possesses within
Itself a born whip, his report has a
greater weight than almost any speech
or even vote. The first contingency,
which practically reduces the use of
the whip to the smaller business of
legislation, is not, however, so com
mon as one would expect, the strong
premier being often aware that he is
a little out of touch with the average
members, and sometimes distrusting
his own social knowledge. Both
Sir Robert Peel and Lord John
Russell are said to have felt a cer
tain deficiency In this latter respect,
akin, perhaps, to Lord Melbourne’s,
who, man of the world as he was,
could not comprehend why members
cared so much about the things they
asked for. The second contingency is
less frequent, but it occurs. Lord
Palmerston, for example, always put
In the cabinet, If he could, Mr. Ver
non Smith, a man whom the public,
and in a lesser degree the house, con
sidered a well-dresspd fribble. He was
not a fribble, by any means, but a
cool-headed, observant man of the
world, with a weak will, but possessed
of a power which Lord Palmerston,
who understood men, had early de
tected. He had some faculty In him,
probably based on sympathy with the
average political mind, which enabled
him to tell almost unerringly what
the house of commons was thinking
and would think, and his chief trusted,
and, after his manner, nobly repaid,
his friend's acumen. In the absence
of such a man within the cabinet, a
good whip who can be trusted to know
in a crisis what the majority think,
what Is wanted, possible or impossible
—the house at this moment wants im
possible, because contradictory, things
in China—Is invaluable, and wields a
secret authority which has often seri
ous effects upon the course of events
Ilow IVkhi In (iiiHriled,
The outer great wall of Pekin Is
al>otit twenty-seven miles in circum
ference. It was built centuries ago of
mud and bricks. Kach brick is as big
as a family Hlble, an<l the interstices
are filled up with mud and stones. The
whole has long settled into n solid
cement. Save for some damage done
in one or two quarters by recent Hoods,
this great wall in still intact. The
gatea number thirteen. They ure in
significant, though finely arched, being
only twenty fret high At night they
are closed with great doors sheathed
with Iron, and no one ran pass In or
out.
I.ihhI NlMIII'lllr.
It Is a matter for congratulation that
the Hetna Mercedes, formerly of the
Spanish navy, has reached this coun
try In safety. She will be an interest
ing. ornamental and useful souvenir
t f certain stirring events.
ItHertiMl.
“I ant wedded to art,'* said Parley.
Well." said t’rllieue, gasiug at Par
ley s picture, "11 get a divorce If I
were you. title has deserted yuu." •
Tit »HU.
**** Nag* lllws.
' It appear* lh«
t tartar " "That's a horse ns Tomp
kia* ' It*? certaialv a steady wag."
t'levelaad plain IWaler
*•*•» n»ii«i
AguiMldo may have wept Put he
lidfc't stop to do It
L.A.W. LS IN TROUBLE I
ALL OVER THE CANADIAN CUS
TOMS REGULATIONS.
Hi-file ruled by the Organization, Many
M heel men Httetu Too Negligent to l»o
the Klglit Thing—-Canadian Govern- i
luent Seemingly lni|>o»e<t I|hmi.
Hy virtue of an agreement made by
the League of American Wheelmen
with the Dominion government, tuem
bem of the L. A. W. have been en
abled for several years to enter their |
bicycles 111 Canadian ports without
iwylng duty on them, or even the i
customary deposit representing the !
amount of duty. League members
surrender their membership tickets In
place of the deposit. At the same time
each tourist is required to sign an
entry blank giving a description of
the wheel, Its number and Its value. !
and agreeing therein to take the wheel j
out of Canada within a given time at
a specified port, where the tourist fur- |
thcr agrees to report his departure to
the customs officials and lake up his
membership ticket. To gain this im
portant concession the la*agun of i
American Wheelmen guarantees the
payment of duty to the Canadian gov- i
ernment on all such wheels not taken
out of Canada in the specified time, or :
not so reported to the proper officials. |
To the disgrace of the L. A. W. In i
particular, and the entire cycling fra
ternity of the I'nlted States in gen
eral, there have been so many cases i
where, through carelessness, Indo
lence or positive dishonesty, return
ing tourists failed to report their de
parture with their wheels as required,
that the hills for duty against thp L.
A. W. piled up rapidly, and the Cana
dian government became disgusted
and threatened to withdraw the privi
lege. The league officers in the mean
time must trace up each Individual
case to collect the duty from the of
fender, or obtain an explanation that
shall be satisfactory to the Canadian
customs department
In most Instances where excuses
were offered the explanation has been
that the tourist could not find the Ca
nadian custom house official on his
way out of Canada. Much tourists did
not hear in mind the fact that the
Canadian Inspectors do not wait on
trains leaving their territory, and
must he sought In their offices, which
are Invariably In close proximity to
the railroad station or steamboat
wharf. Whatever the merit of that
excuse may be, the league officers have
made a new deal with the Canadian
government, which makes it impos
sible for returning tourists to resort to
such a claim in the future.
When the Canadian officers cannot
be found at the frontier the United
States officers are always on hand on I
this side of the line. The Canadian
government will accept the declaration
of K returning rider that his bicycle
has been withdrawn from Canada if
countersigned by any United States 1
customs officer on duty at the line.
This declaration will secure the re
turn of the tourist's membership
ticket and relieve the L. A. W. from
financial obligation, if forwarded at
once to Abbot Bassett, secretary L.
A. W,, Boston, Mass, The declaration
blanks arc furnished by the I,, a. W
officers.
Secretary Bassett reports that the
negligent tourists have caused the ;
league officers no end of trouble and
annoyance. Some of the offenders
have taken their bicycles Into Canada
and thence to Europe; one man has
gone to the Klondvke regions, and an
other is somewhere in Manitoba. Sev
eral Canadians visiting this country
have joined the L. A. W. and used the
membership tickets to get American
bicycles across the border without
paying duty. They remain in Canada,
and the tickets, not being taken up In
the specified time, beeome claims
against the I.. A. W.
Flouting Farms Disappear.
On the 10th of last month, at Nong
han, near the town of Kumpharnphi,
on the Mekong, an island six sen wide
and fourteen sen in length entirely dis
appeared. There was n number of
large trees, ten feet in elrcumferenee.
on the island, and it was partly tinder !
cultivation. The owner searched for
it during three or four days, but was
unable to find it or hear any news of !
It. It seems that in the month of
March there are always a number of
islands floating down the Mekong. The
owner of the large one that has Just
disappeared has seen many of them
pass, and says they disappear In a few
years. The owners are continually In
search of their property, which raiher
upsets one's notions about the fixity of
a landed estate.—Bangkok Times.
I
TRAVELING MEN.
Now Kid|>I<>>«><I l»y Hunk* to Uull<l t'p
Their lluftlneoft.
Milwaukee Sentinel: A new style of
traveling man has developed within
the past month. His business is to so
licit deposits for the New York banks
from the merchants of the country. His
advent Into the commercial world was
heralded by numerous circular letters
sent out by the banks of the Empire
City soliciting business. He is an out
growth of a change in the rules of the
New York clearing-house. When busi
ness became depressed the merchants,
manufacturers and business men gen
erally began paying their obligations
In distant cities with checks upon th dr
local (tanks, where they had before
that time used drafts upon New York
or other eastern banks. The plan
proved so convenient that It was con
tinued, and grew to immense propor
tions. In the dull times the New York
banks were glad to get these checks in
deposit from the wholesalers and
others of that city, and they sent them
to the local banks for collection, pay
ing the collection rates aud standing
the loss. "Some of the large banks
In New York," said J. P. Murphy of the
Milwaukee National Hank, “lost $40,
000 and $50,000 by these transactions,
ho large had the business grown. As
a result of this the New York clear
ing-house changed Its rules, so that
the banks were obliged to charge ex
change on these personal checks, and
Imposing a tine of $5,000 on the bank
that failed to observe the rule. In
view of this the New York banks are
sending out circulars and agents to
the leading merchants of the city urg
ing them to open accounts with them.
Of course the local bankers do not like
this kind of business, and It Is not
likely that they will feel under the
same obligation to accommodate those
concerns who spilt up their accounts In
this way. 1 don’t think they have done
much In Milwaukee yet. Henry Bene
dict, who was formerly in the clothing
business here, Is traveling over the
northwest soliciting business of this
character for New York banks, and
recently made a visit to St. Paul and
Minneapolis. What the clearing-house
here should do, and do immediately. Is
to call a meeting anil charge Chicago
at least the currency rate of 30 cents
for collections. As It is now, Chicago
Is a sort of collection agency for lh«
northwest for the New York hanks.
We have been doing the business of
Chicago In this city for nothing, and
when it became necessary to send th»
currency to Chicago we stood the
charges of 30 cents for each $1,000—
that is the ra'3 fixed by the express
companies.”
Solid mail Spirits for Fuel.
A new Idea in candles has been
evolved by a German chemical manu
facturer. It is simply a mass of solidi
fied spirits pressed Into cylindrical
form and distributed in round tin
boxes. The solid spirits burn readily
and need no wick to make them ap
plicable for heating or cooking pur
poses. The flame can be extinguished
like that of a chafing dish lamp, after
which the little surface spirits, which
become liquefied by the heat of the
flame, resume their hard and waxy
consistency in a few minutes.
Couldn't lift In Anyway.
Benign Individual—"My good friend,
don't you know that Indulging your
appetite for strong drink will under
mine your health and bring you to
death's door?"
I)e Tanque—“Thalsh all right, old
boy; I won’t be able to (hie) find zho
keyhole."— Philadelphia Record.
It Wlftft ! >«'4'lill<‘tl.
"We shall have to decline the Geez
ers' Invitation to their card party,”
wheezed Mrs. G.izzam. "That's odd,”
replied Mr. Gazzam. “You enjoy play
ing so thoroughly.” "But I shouldn't
enjoy it to-morrow night, for I'm so
hoarse 1 can't speak above a whisper.”
- Detroit Free Press.
ATTACKED BY HIPPOPOTAMUS.
Our ikrtrk r#|>r*##ftt* an !u< I'I#M
O141 «,<rutf*4 in Ik# Vhi ru N)aa«.»
• ktl# ('HIM M J Tigti* I* ti o #h i
Ci|i W M Miko i f Ik# k‘ r»t Hal
Hrki*Uk UglialkMI • ■'f• UUl tkuollag
#1 I • leg *. »•* ‘ f l » I •«»* l »•
luri) «igh<»4 g n fciMil uf kikkuiNiiiai,
•■4 in parauit la fa— On at»
proa#king Ik# aa #uor«u«# kali
ktkkw rkarg#4 ('agl Ti#fc# ■ taam iiu
mriiuuijf tittdrraaatb. anil •)« • *««!*.(
in lifting It « ui if in** malar. hittah to
• b» >urpt l>v a it it iiMtalaraatkiit uf !tw«
crmpnaia lu i th« b pp. an .
In K*aitHr«ing ik« mao* probably «
■ •••I man* wuhM not diva mraH
•Hk tbalr ||«a« *■ th» tpwl «t<
• •arming with rinMUgi Ik* btppu
bMiama* daa*ag«*t lb* um badly, twin
lb* |>uraun . .>nili*u«d and b# gut away
• lib lbr«* t Hilda |« bl* bawd
