JAguinaldO. the Phllllplne Insurgent
»der, is only 27 years old. His par
«ut* were very poor, but managed to
h give| their sun a good education.
Wfjenhe Joined tlie socialist Katl
l puna pome years ago It was resolved
to atrest him, but he shot the officer
with the task and converted
lldlers. That was the beginning
IM servant girl isn a Birmingham
^family was taken to task for over
^ sleeping herself. "Well, ma'am," she
wtlA. T sleep very slow, and so it
Bie a long while to get me
pisick)
lHaiiwciil
^k Many persons have their good
Bta day and their had day. Others
^B arc about half sick all the time.
B They have headache, backache,
■ snd are restless arid nervous.
2 Food docs not taste good, and
■ 4 B the digestion is poor; the skin
JHL is dry and sallow and disfigured
With pimples or eruptions;
sleep brings no rest and work
is a burden.
What is the cause of all this?
Impure blood.
•^B And the remedy?
m
Hr iBISr w
■
| It clears out the channels bR
fhrougli which poisons are ^B
tarried from the body. When ^B
til Impurities are removed from
(S (be blood nature takes right hold bbS
•od completes the cure. ^B
If there is constipation, take B
Ayer’s Pills. They awaken the B
| drowsy action of the liver; they 2
cure biliousness. *j
RMIs to our Doctor. I
W» h*»* tb<> airiuelv* lorTlrn# of S'
soma of Iba naoat avliiant pliv»i«-i»i.« tn B
E Iba tlutlaU Stalaf Wrlia f ra«HT all lha M
■bHl' olata In join eaaa Van will la ^B
ft- caloa a prone*reply. without < «•» ^B
I , Adrfrana. Kll. J. C AYKR.
W3 Dr. Parker, an eminent English
physician, advises sufferers from neu
Kfnlgla not to drink tea, but to partake
freely of coffee into which the Juice
of a Jrmon has been squeezed.
JITS r#rta*"«»tl|r* or* o. I»o*t« »r
rei dev • n>a of I>» klm«i <»*••* N#nd IdU'trst
mm t«Mi ♦ »* vhv.k i*i%\
|>* R H kUM Ltal .•:«» Ai«n hi. P»U*l«tpM«. **
No man Is so ignorant Hint he
cm doesn't know what be would do If he
were In your place.
jb Use Diamond “C” Snap and get a
\ full gilt mantel clock for nothing.
Other valuable prizes also.
"What Is the difference between
your teas?” Clerk—In those of the
first quality some bad tea is mixed
with the good, and in those of the
second quality some good is mixed
with the bad.”—Flierende Blatter.
The less Important a man Is the
more badges he puts on his coat.
! ifWk
H j
TIE EXCELLENCE OF SYBLP OF HOS
indue not only to the originality and
simplicity of the combination, but also
to the care and skill with which it ia
manufactured hy scientific processes
known to the Cai.iroNNia Fin Svhi i*
C'o. only, and we wish to Impress upon
all the importance of purchasing the
true and original remedy. As the
genuine Syrup of Figs ia manufactured
by tbo t'ai.iroHNit I'm Nvatr to.
onlv, a knowledge of that fact will
assist one in avoiding lire worthless
imitations manufactured by other par
ties. The high standing of the Cut- i
roHNia Flu St mi r Co. with the medi
cal profession. an<l the satisfaction
which the genuine Syrup of Figs has j
given to millions of families, makes
the u&mc of the t'owpany a guaranty
of the excellence of its remedy. It la
far In advance of all other laaatives,
as it acta «a the kidneys, liver and
bows is without Irritating or weaken
ing them, and it does m4 gripe nor
nauseate, la order to get its beneffeial
effects, please remember the name of
the Company —
CALIFORNIA MG SYRUP CO.
sax rstums tea
iwi is* ii i v a. -.a veus. s v
I
I
THE BREAKER.
m
In appearance he was about as com
monplace as other people- a middle
aged man. Inclined to portliness. ,».s
the train moved on he discussed com
monplace subjects with me In a com
monplace way. 1 should not have ls en
surprised to have been told that nc
was a stockbroker or a solicitor or
that he was engaged In the tea trade.
In the course of our chat something
happened to be said about curious oc
cupations.
"Well,” said my companion, "I
not suppose (bat there Is any more
curious occupation than my own. 1
am a breaker."
He hnd not at all the appearance
of a man used to horses; but I sug
gested, "A horse-breaker, you mean?"
"No," he said, "Just a plain breaker.
A man who breaks things, breaks any
thing that requires to be broken; f ets
Ills living by breaking.”
I glanced nc i vousjy at the communi
cator, though he looked even less like
a lunatic than he did like a horse
breaker.
“I see,” he raid, smiling, “that I
must explain. When 1 left Cambridge
with a classical degree, no prospects
and no influence, I looked about for a
profession. I found everything over
crowded; beuldes, none of the profes
sions appealed to me at all. I like to
travel about a little, and I enjoy social
life, I like talking -talking to any
one. I hate work of any kind. This
being the case, I looked about me to
see If there wa i not a chance for some
new profession; if among our million
wants there was not one that was not
supplied. The idea came to me by
accident. I was stopping at my
uncle's house when he received os a
present from his wife's brother a sin
gularly ugly but very valuable pair of
oriental vases. His wife's brother was
frequently in my uncle’s bouse, c ,d
therefore lhe.<e abominations bad to
be displayed. I beard him grumbling
about this. I suggested that he should
sell them. The Idea was, of eourse,
absurd; he told me so. Nor. he said,
could he break them himself, for his
wife’s brother would never forgive
him; nor could he ask his wife to break
them, because, although he had been
married fifteen years, he felt that tie
did not know her well enough; nor
could lie ask the servants to break
them, for that would encourage care
lessness and thiiftlessncss. ’That Is
all right,’ I said. I rose from my place
and smashed the vases one after the
other on the floor. ‘Sorry I was so
clumsy,’ I snid; ‘you had better ring
and have this rubbish cleared away.’
He rang, and told the servant I had
broken them accidentally. When she
had gone he said without a smile,
'It seems rather n pity.’ I said, ‘I am
very short of ready money. Could you
lend me five pounds?’ He wrote me a
check for twenty, and said that I was
a useful man to know of. Then I said,
'Recommend me to your friends, or
already I sa - the possibilities of my
future profession. He mentioned me
to some half-dozen people he knew,
some of whom I hud never seen in
my life before. They sent m? invita
SMASHED THE VASES,
lions to their houses, anil they Indi
cated the objects on which I was to
operate. In my first week I broke,
] remember, a lamp shaped like an
owl, an oil painting, a tea service ami
a dining-room table."
"But an oil painting.'’ I said. "How
docs one breuk an oil painting?''
"It is simple enough," he said. "I
first of all undid the wires so th .t the
picture fell, then In picking It up 1
put my foot through the face. Jt was
n portrait of my host's wife's aunt.
It was more tllffli ult to break the din
Ing-room tuble. | recollect that it be
came necessary for the purpose to In
vent a somewhat boisterous form cf
round Name. Even then we bad to
play it for three evenings before the
legs mme off When I left this bouse
my host handed me a check and prom
tsed to recommend me to other people.
I never advertise, and I have mure
I nuking to do than I <uu possibly
tend time for. if | could find a young
man with plenty of tad I would lake
him as an assistant."
"It tuuet need some tact," | sug
gested.
"It does. It »o often happen* that
I am employed by the husband without
the knowledge of the wile, or by in*
wtfe without tne knowledge of the
husband Even with the utmoet tact
one gets oneself disliked bu that i
must pul up with The other day mi*
of my i Beats asked me to ma* 10
h ■ house to bn cl a ttisiu r »• i c•
I dined there and wade myself a*
plraeaai as I laulU and told several
gtutd stories, liut then I also bloke
the dinner service, or sum of it. and
tl was oae to which my hewtese was
mu«h attached Nhe raid to him altei
ward. 'I will aev*r have that brut# m
my bou»e egath** **
"And what did he say?"
"He said. ‘I fully agree with you,
my dear. To the beat of my belief the
man was drunk. If he had not been
the eon of an old college friend, I
should never have asked him at all.’
That was a little mean; but then It
was necessary for him to cover him
self In some way. and as 1 never break
a dinner service under twenty-five
pounds. I received some solatium for
the Indignity."
"Have you got any engagements at
present?" i asked.
"Yes," he said, "I am going to one
now, but It Is a trilling thing requiring
no tact at all, iiad I an assistant I
should have sent him. I am to go the
day after a wedding reception, when
the presents are being packed. Those
which, from their ugliness or worth
lessness, are not worth packing up and
sending to the bridegroom’s distant
home, have been placed on a separate
shelf. I shall upset that shelf and
accidentally step on anything which la
not broken In the fall. The Job won’t
take me five minutes, and 1 get three
guineas for It. I am doing it for the
bridegroom without the knowledge of
thp bride. Men begin to deceive wom
en very soon, I find."
"I have,” I said, "one or two little
objects In niy own home which—"
Hut at this moment the train en
tered Victoria station, and though I
managed to complete my sentence,
and my companion said that he would
bo glad at any time to oblige me, In
the confusion of our arrival I neglect
ed to take his mune and addrcti or
to give him mine.”—Harry Pain.
SHEDDING BLUE CLOTHES,
L'ncle Main's Hoys' Olil ('lollies Worn liy
Younger Patriots.
From the Chicago Tribune; Soldiers
who have returned home and been
mustered out are shedding the blue
uniforms of Unde Ham. A large drop
ping off of men wearing (he blue has
been noticeable since the chilly days
came and especially since Colonel
Young’s First cavalry was paid off and
discharged at Fort Sheridan on Tues
day. The Chicago troopers proceeded
to get into clothes more suitable for
the chilly air, and the troopers frorri
the country took early train* for home.
Hut the uniforms will continue to do
service even after being discarded by
the men who wore them to the front.
Occasionally a blouse, a pair of leg
gings or a cavalry boot is to be seen
in the stock of a pawnbroker. Home of
the soldiers get rid of the garments by
giving them to their own children or
their neighbors' hoys. These young
sters delight In the blue clothes. They
wear them regardless of fit, adjusting
them as well as they may. with pins
and bits of string. They are particu
larly fond of the legglns, and a hoy
with a pair of them Is the envied of all
the Juveniles in his circle*. He can
trade them for any other valuables any
of the envious may possess. A canteen
Is another favorite article from the
soldier*’ kit, but it is not always put to
good uses. Over on the west side one
day last week the police raided a can
rushing soiree in a secluded alley. Thp
receptacle the guests were using was a
canteen that went through the cam
paign. The slouch hats are also In
demand, especially amongst teamster*,
or young fellows who desire to put a
tough edge on themselves. Besides
being a serviceable article of dress Un
cle Ham's hats are capable of being
pressed Into wonderful and startling
shapes. Home of the decorated hat*
command fancy prices, and many have
been offered for sale, which the ven
ders are willing to guarantee had seen
service In the battles before Hantiago.
They point to holes In them as passag
es made by Mauser bullets. Of course
the soldiers are not allowed to retain
their aims, but what they are allowed
to keep they generally part with quick
ly. usually In a spirit of generosity,
but occasionally as a means of profit
YOUNG HEROINE OF A WRECK.
Taiaa (llrl Wtio Mavail » llallruail Su|>er
Intxnileiil from Death.
The authorities of the Houston ana
Texas Central railroad are consider
ing how best to show their apprecia
tion of the coolness shown by Mice
Mae Mosse in a recent wreck on their
line at Chambers creek. A trestle gave
way at that point and a portion of the
train plunged Into the water. Super
intendent Daffan of the mud was iu
the car with Miss Mosse and both were
precipitated Into the abyss. Mr. Daffan
was at once pinned down to the floor
by u broken seat. Wutrr was pouring
into the car and the sufteriutendeui
would certainly have been drowned but
for aaulstanca given him by Miss
Mosse, The girl was the only passen
ger who kept a mol head. Kxerting
all her strength, standing meanwhile
waist deep In water, she managed to
release Daffan to such an extent that
he was able to sit upright Kven then
the water was up to his chin, hut rose
no farther, and so he escaped with life,
though badly injured Mlwt Moase.
seeing him in romitatalive safely, went
to the assistance of other* and render
rd invaluable aid to a number of suf
ferer*. Mtsa Mease live# in Denison,
la not quite IB year* of age and was
on her wav to lake up her siudtew nl
ihe Austin university when the met
dent happened
XriMml UIXetMfs
Johnny "l*n some of the • unou*
people tuund here they call 'odd' and
tom* of the other* 'tu*Btrk ' VI hat
la the differente’ i\« VI hen a mat
la **14 In he eccentric he uaonlly ha*
mote u» lets Bit'll* i li ken he It poet
a nou i* •imply odd*' Mts'itn I ran* i
cript
VI fey potnilea* mate >atieu al
• a** bore >h« qubkeat?
"It Is all very nice to inculcate re
spei for gray hairs," said the Comfed
Philosopher, "but I think a llti.e rev
erence for bald heads ought to he in
stilled also."—Indianapolis Journal.
It is W, I). iiowt!!i who says:
'Society Is Interested in a man's
future, not his past, ns it Is interested
In a woman’s past, not her future."
Salan invariably smiles when a
woman falls In love with the wrong
man.
The choice of a birthplace Is of less
Importance than Ihe choice of parents,
A handy device for banging clothes
Is formed of a ring to he screwed to the
top of a post to support a number of
arms, which are dropped Into a hole
In the end of the post when not In use.
A Missouri woman has designed an
Ice creeper to slip on Ihe sole of thi
shoe, a steel plale, with curved ends,
to grip the edges of the sole having
teeth to engage the Ice as the wearer
walks.
A handy cup for eggs boiled In the
shell has slots near the edge for the
Insertion of a table knife to remove
Ihe lop of ihe shell, the cup having a
removable lining to us to hold eggs of
different sizes.
For use in curling Ihe balr a newly
designed Instrument has the endu of
the tongs flattened, to be heated and
press the hair after It baa been dam
pened and wound on curl papers or
crimping pins.
The skin can be quickly removed
from potatoes by a new cleaner formed
of a tubular net of sharp cords huvlng
a number of knots on the Inner surface,
the tubers being placed in the net and
shaken rapidly.
An Australian has designed a new
diving dress In which steel rings ure
woven Into the cloth or sewed be
tween two thicknesses, for the purpose
of resisting the pressure of the water
at great depths.
Tobacco pipes ran be thoroughly
cleaned by n new device constating of
u pump to he attached to the howl of
the pipe to draw water lu through the
stem and forcibly discharge it to dls- i
lodge the Impurities.
•Shoe laces are to be made with a core
of hemp or oilier strong cord Inclosed
In a loosely-woven casing, the core e*
lending into a tongue of colled w ire or
soft brass at either end, thus forming a
string which will not wear out easily.
For complete list of prizes given free |
to users of Diamond "C" Hoap write
Cudahy Packing Co.. Bo. Omaha, Neb.
It's difficult to convince a schoolboy
that history repeats Itself.
Florida.
Are yon going to Florida? Do you
want rates, maps, routes, time-cards
and full information? If so. address
H. W. Sparks, 334 Clark street, Chi
cago.
I knew an Ignoramus who pro
nounced Psyche ••flsh.”
!!«' IUt. SK I It AUVOI.O'S COCOII Klt.I.F.tt
ft) my family for £1 year*. Mn. A. mu liaocik,
MiuueapoiU, Miuu. if* a tattle.
If the hearth I. untidy the room is
untidy.
'IVie hlghr It mountain Is Mount
Everest, In Thibet, 30,002 feet, or !»%
miles.
Try taking cod liver oil In tomato
catsup if you want to make it palaia
Lie.
Try a allk handkerchief over the face
when obliged to go againei « piercing
wind.
Try a cloth wrurg out of cold water,
put about the neck at night, for * Hore
throat.
Try walking with your hands brhlnJ 1
you If you find yourself becoming bent
forwurd.
Try breathing the fume* of turpen
tine or carbolic add to relieve whoop
In* cough.
tvny does poinnew conversation al
ways bore the quickest?
Why can't truth be raised from the
bottom of the well with a windlass’
Why is football called play, and
shoveling coal considered bard work?
Why docs the Joke we think of Just
before going to sleep depart never t»
return?
Why does a woman always turn her
back to her companion when «bo
opens her purse?
Why doesn’t some enterprising man
ager put a realistic war opera on the
■tage with rival comedians In It’
AN AFFAIR & NATION (
It has been said of Americans that they
are “a nation of dyspeptics" and it is true t
that few arc entirely free from disorders
of the digestive tract, Indigestion. Dyspepsia,
Stomach and Bowel trouble, or Constipation. <
Tne treatment of these diseases
with cathartic medicines too often ad- <
1 gravates the trouble. ° '
the. logical treatment ,
is the use of a remedy that will build up ’
the system, thereby enabling the various
i organs to act as Nature intended they should.(j
Such a remedy is found in Or Williams Pink 1
Pills Vor Pale People s here is the proof*
In Detroit there nrr few aoldirr* more popular and efficient than Mai
R Davie*, flrat aergraut of Co li Ilia Home In at 416 Third Avenue, Por
four year* hr va* a lxxikkre|ier with the wholeoale drug houar of larrand,
Williama tt Clark, and hr aava "I have charged up many llumaund y
order* for Dr. William*' I’ink Pilla for Pair People, bill never knew their
worth lint it I Hard them lor the < ure of chronic dyaprpain lor two vein#
I antlered and doctored lor that aggravating Double but coaiil ou'y b*
helprd temporarily. L
"I lltiuk dyaprpain I* one of the moat alubhorn of ailmrnla, and there 1
la ar'arcely a deck or odi e man but wliat la more or Iran a victim, Some
dava I could rut anything, while nt other tiroea I would lie atarviug.
Tlo ae dialrmaeil paint would force me to <| 1111 work 1 have trie.) many G
trealnieula and remedb-a hut they would lu lp only for a lime. A friend
Induced mr lo tiy Ur. William*' Pink I'llla lor Pale People, and aflei tak
ing a lew duaea I found much relief and alter ualug aevrral hoara 1 waa
cured. 1 know thr*r pilla will cur* dya|x-|iaia of ila worat lorm and I aia P
pleaaed to iccommeud them.”—OH ref/ [Mkh )J*utual V
Tnc genuine package always bears the Lil name
At all druggists ct sent postpaid on receipt of piut,S0*C
per bo*, by the Dr.vtilli&ms Medicine Co, Schenectady,N V 1
Mr*. Theodore Roosevelt Is one of
the few wives of political notabilities
who shares her husband's enjoyment
of cartoons. Mrs. Thomas Hiatt has
said that she sometimes fears to open
a paper. Ho, too, Mrs. Russel Huge.
But Mrs. Roosevelt has made quite a
collection of the multitudinous repre
sentations of the Rough Rider.
While there’s life there’* floap Dia
mond "C” Hoap.
There should he one Mary In every
family.
Joe’s (tougli manm
'<■ ihr nl.'a»f unit l*»i. II will hr*»k rp nrolrl nuU'krr i
lb*u mi;'bins cine. 'l la «lwif> reliable. Trr k.
David I.Inton, who Is said to he the j
richest nian in Ohio. Is the son of a |
noor Irishman, who Intended his l.oy !
for a blacksmith.
It Is easy to appear amiable If one
has a sweet voice.
>< j Oiirvrv isrvnnr~iffairT|_ghaX\i^>af>_rknfiarx/‘V^g~>>~"Wiii
1 MEN at WORK are ACCIDENTAL HURT
I OR ON always oll
! PLEASURE BENT PHYSICAL STRAIN.
LQV I A A An A All i» a good ti tend In such
Ole JMIlUDO UIL timet of needj it cures surely.
•'IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED/”
TRY
SAPOLIO
CATARRH CURED ££»
Live* of tuffeilng tud misery fmu thla repiilklro dloeako lurood intu health and bappl
n«sk through ibo uao of
Richard’s catarrh Expeilant.
After veers of special study And practice to diseases of the Mucus Membrane. ami espe
cially of catarrh Ml troubles, w»* luo* ut 1mm developed a treatment ih«t will pnsltlvtdv and
(nr in an • ut ly curs t aiarrhal Olsease* In whatever form they may I** Aft*** fully demon
strating the merits of lIds treatment In a private practice of over five veers, aiiii ...
fullv fleet mg end «* ti r 1 vim I he most otisllnnle rases, m I liallenge the H nr Id for a rase of
Oatairh or < atuihul Ihsrase our CATARRH EXPELLANT »M n«l I’lilt
Deafness. resulting fr mi t'a'srrh. nulckly cured
I on of sense of *«aietl and I aste quickly restored.
All repuUlve symptom* peculiar to* starrhal trouhlet. us font hreath nasal dischargee
Hacking. < ongoing. an«l "pining. relieved at once.
t aiarrltel %l?ectM*«va of Mtouiiu h. Liver or hldueyt, cans i f Indigestion. Nl«k hiouiaeE.
Nsuos. U rdkiiro. Depression. I oss of AinMlIoii and litergv. 41 e «|iilcLly cured
Moat of the weaktinea of men and women I* caused hy i'alarthal diseases The poisonous
dU- ha rites find llielr way to the stomach uml Into the bh*»4, ami dlslrthuied lhr* ugloul
the eot<re system, wife ting the vital Slid Life I orees uml raising those Organic and
he* sons llt skiifort mi dreaded hy rverv man and woman
These weaknesses arw cured t»y CATARRH EXPELLANT and i<erfc 1 health and
strength fully restored Over live hundred te*iltm.nl a UTn praise of this ireatmeut re
reived sines January I. I**VT If you hgve t'atgrrh or any LNnarrliil Dlsetse
RICHARD’S CATARRH EXPELLANT
Wilt tnr* you Juki im kur* »• ani.r ■llli|ii«ni'k (him tt rli* i«> iIhjp for i^kitmontnu aud
luklrui ll«« p«p«r uu lit. •• Iim-.w. »(U Mkr. AiltiswM
>M* C. H. RICHARDS CO..
OMAHA *' 1 HHAIHA.
In ibe reign of ICdward III all the
brewer* mid linkers were women, and
when men flint began to engage In
these occupation* it wh* ibought *;>
strange that they were culled men
brewer* Htid men bakers,
T'» t’l lt.; A tui.ll IS USE DAY
Take l.iisutlvo Hromo Quinine Tablet*, All
UrugirUt* refund the mniu» If It full* to cure.
Jin. Thu Kdiuliie line I.. it *J. • >■> each tablet.
When men and razors are snapped
they always become Mharpcr.
Mrs. Wmiios'D wonttjtng njrrup
F*»r •htltl' rn l#ftlitri|r wiftidie tlie K'ini«.ir«Jil* te-lnfam
i/itf lion, ftllAjn fmni, tsuir* wind‘toll-. ^ c«iit*s ►nyt
Mdnu Your faace seems lamlliar.
Jellaby II I* Had it rime 1 wan a
baby. Tld-lllt*.
A Berliner claim* to have dlacovered
a paper und au ink that will rc*lrt
the effect of fire.
W. N. U. OMAHA. No. 49-1868
kheo Ansueriiwj Advertisement* Hindijr
Meat loo This Taper.
1,000 NEWSPAPERS
Aru now iihlnu our
International Type-High Plates
Sawed to
LABOR-SAVING LEXGTHS.
They will Mive time In your comiwalriB
room nx llioy tan bo bandied even quicker
than typo.
Niiexi r« elm rye U made for lnq plates
to khort lnni;tbk.
eend h trial order to t:>i» office und bo
convinced.
WESTERN NEWSPAPER UNION,
OMAHA, NSB.
Or. Kay's Lung Bairn
Whoiiliii) Inv Mtardi fa si, your
Kioi-i'i for
“MAGNETIC,”
IIchI cold «liter Htnrdi muil*.
A Nchrnwkn Product.
Santa Clara Manufacturing Co..
Ouialiu, kul/r.
FAIRBANKS SCALES aas
Dr. Key b Ksnosator, 8V!K*i»SaP
m« eowatlpallou. liver and klduc <tiae*a*k,tiU*
iiOUklieki I'Hiii'.hi', etc At di u#fal»‘N S*« A Ik
CURE YOURStlP?
I e« Hi* U f«l« h!i*it«lui«l
ill* IUf|f<, l.i|U*tMt*IH be.
ut wl«ei«li,i»e
'*•”**’' ' I »«•!«• u«f Ha* tail f•!.*»
«•*••••••. r*.ul*M Mill It >1 eilllM
•• ill or |Mttai*i*t.«4B
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