Aa Kaaler Hay. ••So." aaid the elderly lady, *’l don’t think that woman ia advancing the right way, Hhe ia getting to a rM,lnt ! where ahe la liable to be irn famed I apori. ” ••llon't you think ahe ought to rote?" ••Of rourae, if ahe can't -u n, c cant n liclt j they in- olmtruclcd conaflpated, Ifl other *ord« lloetetiei'e atoniacb Bltter» will re- : Ib-ve them effectually, bill without pain and in-iltiite a regular naldf of hotly I hi* medicine aleo remedle* malarial hllioua, nyap- utic, rhcumatl nrtvou* and t utney lit,Hide a d "trenxtheO* the entire eyaiem f-ntato f'necake* Boil »i« medlum-alsntd potatoc* in mlted witter until thoroughly cooked: waah tht-14 and act abide to cool. tli<-n add three well-beaten egga. a quart of milk and flour enough to make a pan cake natter. Bake quickly on a well greaaed griddle and nerve very hot There la more t’ntarrh In ihla aeeilon of the country tnan nil olber dl*c«*e* pul together, and until the |:t*i f< w ye/ira wo* *up/c>*ed to he incurable, Kor a great many year* doctor* pro scribed local remedies, and by constant ly falling lo cure with local treatment, pronounced It Incurable, Molen efltd. Sure to please. 'I he farmers'rlvsl* in making hay while the Min shines are plumtwrg and dentists 'Ins tig,gross BsowiTd Hkovuiai. 'I ho cubs are sold only In lose* 't hey are wonderfully effer-ttv* for toughs end Throat Troubles Mnny of the lest social positions are tilled by underl/red (eople If the Hairy is Cutting Teem. Snn amiussthst.,14 *4 well 10*4 r»i»s.l/, Mas. StMC/s’i Sovrerav Brace for CMMim TaatWa* Many a man slnas hands are Irusy has s loafer shear) Coe'* l eafk Balaao b Ike otl-st ami best. It Will Ip'S* Uf »‘'0*“,'J erii.se aurttjlngslas. Ill*always rsilsMs fr» U» Halo for the coin plosion l* most Irenefl cfak COIrOKAItO 0(11.11 Ming*. If you are Interested in gold mining or wish to keep posted regarding the wonderful strides being made in < (do rado, It will pay you to send lifty cent* for a year's subscription to T he Hold Miner, an illustrated monthly paper published at Denver. >*bi v tin (*r cent of premature deaths > an I e traced to excess of strong drink risosture lor consumption is me of all rough cures lleorge M Izdz. Kahti rher, U., August 2ft, Pft>r,. The slightest material these days u>a es fashionable *, amlalof longest, duration, IOWA PATENT OFFICE REPORT. /**<• T" as T)ks Mounts, January 24. Patents have hern allowed to Iowa inventorsas follows: To l>. J. Stanley, of Harlan, for a brake for bicycles adapted to la-, advantageously operated by the rider * foot. To liev, J. I) Moo re. of Atlantic, for a gravity door lock in which the latch i* shajM'd and pivoted in such a manner that it w ill he retained in its normal position by its own weight. To I,. I.. Bdwards, of l.orimor for an armored mitten specially adapted for handling barbed wire and other objects that have sharp points. Valuable information about obtaining, valuing and selling patents sent free to any address. Printed copies of the drawings and specifications of any one ('tilted States patent sent upon receipt nf cents. Thomas It. am-J ItAi.eit * aflet pluntln* HI* Cham plon of the World Ik Ihe greatest yielder on earth and we rhwlleuiie you in pro dure Ilk ettukl M »••» wit) **«a II cents in siktttim Ik Ihe John A Haitet Heed Co, I at Crottae. Win., you will gel, free, lex paebaaee grain* aud graaaea. lut hiding TewsiNle, Hpurry, Utaat Ittramkle Clover, etc., and our mammoth cat*, lug ire Catalogue V for mailing w.a Veil 1,1 *. lisa MS Is IH Will l« Ml,.tv tut*. I ..it*, us wit* wutter than tin ' Ssssssssg * I tkM •« pwh H It w*rh In III i 1 trrwkg way M tm a i Sprain, j Soreness, “ < < Stiffness, < ew ST. JACOBS OIL •••M un u ik«ihii war, tlgki I !A!S5 It waa mil try In tbe amoklng room. For one thing the weather woi hot, for another, tha commodore had Juet Itnlebed a yarn. Markham aiwuya maintained that tbe atmoapliere be came aulphuroiM after the commodore had recounted a peraonal ramlolaeence, but then he waa given to eaaggera tlon. Htfll we felt grateful that the atory had (waned off without the Inter vemlou of a thunderbolt, and aat g,i*p Ing relief and credulity. Then Mild may, from aheer nervouaneaa, I he Hevc, not from any doalre for a rour renew of the Anunlaa epiaode, alined up the colonel. The colonel win all ting la>hlnd a big cheroot, evidently Incubating a kettle wherein to cook the commodore a euldaige. “Wonderful caciipe that, alr!“ anld If II.L..H/ I i t 11 ir t I ■ a > ft ,\t itH>\ "Vcs, air. We in the service in the old day*, before It became a school for step dancing and circus riding, used to have experiences which ibo country i e 'er heard o'. Advent ur'v. vt'ti "»n ■non as bilberries, sir, In those dstys. Gad, sir, u British soldier In those day* tho’irht no more of walking I,<*<»:» miles through the enemy’s country tluin you do of step dancing around the park. "I'robubly, sir, you've never in urd of the defense of Fort Da mil' No, sir, I don't blame you, sir, If you have not heard of it tint of arms which pre served half a continent for 1st ■n»J esty, tbs) bless her! We've all heard of suppressed dispatches anti lugratl titdc In high pla'cs led the feather bed step dancers should be replaced by men. "It was In never mind I he date, air, and never mind the place. If I men tioned them you would recall Die epi sode, and It Is not for me to fioast by telling the full extent of the services It was my good fortune to render this country. "A foreign power (no, sir, I will men tion no name damme, sir! I hope I know my duty better than to rekindle International complications) bad stir red up tla- niggers against us. I was In command of Fort Itamli, sir, at that time, with a handful of men a mere handful—but men, sir, such as your dancing schools do not turn out nowa days, "Fort Da mil Is built on a promon tory running out into the s<*a and Is only get at able from one side. The niggers had massed all their forces In the plain In front of the fort. Twenty thousand of them, sir -or ralln-r, as I wish to guard against exaggeration, 1 will say that 1 counted ID.HtKt a s warm lug over the plain thick as cheese mites In a Million, "I had ninety-three men all told, In cluding a one eyed drummer ls»y, hut we laughed at them, sir. Whenever the niggers came at the fort we loaded our big guns with broken bottles, bed steads, war office regulations, which waa aliout the only thing tln-y had sup plied us with from liorue. and mowed them down by the dozens. When they reached the walls my boys, giving them cold pig, took tea with the nig gers. "I used to sit on the powder uiaga zlne, smoking a cheroot, as comfort ably as I'm doing now. Dad, sir, how It ail comes back to me! That little devil of a drummer used to nip out after the tight and mend hi* drum with niggers' skins. After alsiut a fortnight of It we had the niggers piled up three deep facing the fort. "Well, we had held that fort for seven weeks no, damme, let’s he ac /.II co ts t,.r fttPii tilvllt 11 !4 VM—fi 11(1 Wf* looked like bolding It for seven years, or until there wasn't a nigger left to ! eat no an, Wh$B l/P‘* afternoon, It was about half past 4 on Fell, til—I'm flot likely to forget that date in a hurry— Lieut. Slinking of the Bombardiers, my subaltern, came to me and said: ‘It’s all up, sir. We haven't a round of ammunition left, and lint* niggers are preparing for a general assault to night.' lie was a brave man, was Simpkins Ml afterward at Serlngap atam, cut dean lu half by a cannon ball—but he looked a bit seated then. ** ‘is that allV' ” I said, off-hand. 'Then we shall have some fun with the bayonet. I am surprised at you. sir, for re|K»rtlug such a trifle.' After this rebuke i turned away, when the i little drummer almost ran Into me In I hia excitement. “‘Captain,’ said he, saluting I was only a captain In those days -'three i meu-of war reported In the bay.' 5 i looked out to sea and saw, as plainly j as I see you, sir, three frigates stand ! lug on the horizon, Hying the Hying the Hag of the foreign |tower which was uldlng and abetting the niggers. “Well, sir, I must admit that when 1 saw these whips ami tvineiulaired that we hud not u grain of powder In the whole blessed fort, I admit that for a lRoutent 1 felt at a loss. Another man, who wus less anxious to keep to facia, might 1*41 you that he never hesitated, hut I, wishing to deal with things as they were, I confess I felt at a loss. “Hut only for u moment. Lieut Hlmpkliis said, with a sort of grin. ‘Now, air, you had Itetter surrender to the Fr to the foreign power.' Hlr,' I answer* d, drawing my sell up. ‘a Torn Husnu dies, but never surrenders ' I Iteg your pAidnu> Yes, sir, t|uite right Hy a pertefsUtM <>f history these words were attributed tu Btueher at Hedatt Hut I h»|>e you will allow that I ought tu kuow wlwn they weie first uttered HI miter may have adapted litem I make m< complaint Well, a* I "Aid, fur a mom, nt a lUNmiklng space I tell that tie- game was Indeed up I sal tlowu on one uf the now useless fort y pounders to ret lew tin* situation As I meditated my eys fell <«a sums ends «>f telegiaph wire which Hudson of the suite) ik'iailumd had brought lulo Itm furl ts tore the noth ,-wk of the dtslurtmiMe, to coutiecl u# with the capital. A* my glance fell upon It a t* anight Hasted through uty loalu •* 'Hatetl' | tiled leaping from the tgntton ‘the rapiaUt'a got 'em agaitt,* w•narked that detll* nop of a drum b«tf istf Without heeding this loeat li of ills l|tilM> I scut fur Hmlaolt lu A few words I whlspetc*! my hlsA lu him t'apiAlH,' he rtlsd ‘you are a genius a nmrtel, g' Howctgr, It h pot fur to to h|etl the r»mpllme«ts !• ttott*s not AltngcihAr umlsssrtgii It# ttahl my rsa*mr»* With his kelp I wound tb* tele I I graph wire around two cannona, con necting every two gun* with a *po ' ! ! of wire. In tbla way we connected every two gtiua with a *|kio| of wire. In tbi* way we connected eight guu* on the land aide of the fori and *iv commanding ihe bay. 'ihe ihe wire* from each gun were taken Into the powder magazine, where lltidaou had rigged up an Infernal machine of hi* own devialng. "We hail hardly completed our work when ulght fell ‘You are *ure they > haven't any muaketair* llud*on aald to me before we aeparated for the night. ‘Perfectly/ I answered. ‘Only! apeura and kulvea/ ‘Then It ought to be all right/ lie murmured, ‘bill how | about the aldpa'r’ ‘Let’a *eltle the nig gera lirat,' J replied. ‘Hultleiaut for the ' day are ihe ruction* thereof.’ “With the*e remark* lie left me, and I *at In my powder magazine await 1 lug event*. The hour* crept by scry *lowly. I tingled with excitement, for ; I knew the next hour would determine I our faith. At length, in the pliehy darkne**, Ihe drummer boy, with Id* only eye glowing in the blackneaa like [ a carbuncle, whispered softly: Tap I tain, they’re coming!' Ht111 I walled, j “Then, In the deathlike alHInc**, n yell broke on (be atari led air. I knew ! the crucial moment bad come, and i ! • -I pr<*a*cd u button. There wu* a widrrlug aound. Then all wna quiet again, until a cheer from my men rang out, and I knew that all wna well. Heizlng my club, I hurried out Into the darkne**. Everything waa i dark aa a* the war ottlce and the fort waa deaerted. “Ju*t outalde the gate I aturnbled aero** a body. I turned It over with my foot. It waa a nigger In full war paint and unarmed. Then I knew that Viy plan tiiuj succeeded. ilurrying forward, whither a dull thud, varied hy an occasional groan, guided me, I I found my gallaul Itoinhardler* club bing for dear life for ihe bayonets and barrels of their r.iusket* had heeu removed hy my orders among a scur rying crowd of savages, ‘‘Well, sir, we hanged and hanged, until we could no longer raise our I arms. As day broke I ordered the' drummer to beat to quarters. He was nowhere to be found. Hboutlng to my l men, I ordered them to retire lo ihe fort. Then the sun rose, and whal a | sight met our eyes! Kvery cannon In the fort was studded with spears and knives as thick as a puding Is of , plums, ns close as a pin cushion Is of pins. “W'hut had happened will Is* obvious to you. Hy the telegraph wires and an electric buttery In (lie powder mag azine I had turned all my cannons Into electro-magnets of forty horse power. Consequently, as soon as the enemy ] were within range I turned on the cur rent. Kvery steel wca|sin In the hands of the niggers simply whirled out of their grasp and stuck like horse leech es to my magnets. ‘‘'Ihe absence of the drummer levy was soon explained. As. against my distinct orders, he had l*een wearing a hanger when I turned the current on, he hew against Hie nearest gun and stuck there as a C, O. docs to a decoration. It took six men to haul him otf, "Then, In the Joy of victory, a sud den dread came over me. How about the three luen-of-war? The forclgu power ought to have landed Its myr midons hy tills time. Hcourgod hy my misapprehensions, I hurried to the seaward battlement* of the fori.] There. In the gray dawn, a strange sight met my eyes. "Nailed to (he cruel rocks to the westward of Dainll lay these three men-of war, hopeless wrecks, buffeted ; by Ihe waves against the grinding crags, W'hat had happened was sim ple enough. Damme, sir, It flashed I ... „ I .. .... riM... foe,,o /. f my seaward magnets bad been such that It bad deranged the compasses of these vessels. Following their distort*1 ed guidance, they had run ashore on the reef westward of the fort. I “Even ns I watched, I saw a boat push off from the wrecked (lag ship. At once I donned the graceful uniform of my regiment, the Munchausen’s Own. as the service fondly termed It. and drew up my gallant ninety-three In platoons to await our vanquished foe. A tall officer, of gallant hearing, his dripping uniform decorated will) a star, stepped ashore. '“Field marshal,’ said he, bowing to me with a grace that left me no doubt that I was standing In the pres ence of a prince of the blood royal, ‘I have the honor to surrender to you my j sword!’ ‘“Not Held marshal,’ 1 replied, ac : ceptlng the sword, as I marked the di amonds flashing In Its hilt, ‘only a , captain of her Majesty's loyal regi ment of Munchausen’s Own.’ ’Ah.’ ; said Ids highness, turning to Ids fol lowers. ‘what chance have we against a nation where such men are only en|» talnsV’ i lowing low, he followed me, my prisoner, into the foil. "Thai, sir, la the true history of the defense of l>nilllt. The end Is plain. After my victory they sent a general fiom home who rca|a*d Its fruits, who whs rewarded by a grateful country by sticking every condemned letter of I the slphaliet after Ids blighted in,urn. I But the 'iHtlon lias yet to h*n.ni to whose resources they owe tile victory of Iininll You were pleased to oh serve, sir! Kk, sir! Wi.*t sir! Your oliedlent servant, sir Walter, two of the same, with a slice of lemon."* New Ittldget. A St»nr-SlalMe4 Aslvsnsmer ttchlaparelll, the astronomer who i first discovered the so-called "canals" of Mars, did so with s much smaller ! trlc*cnt*> than those It use In many I other olMMorvatorlc* at that time 1ml 1 yet ha Is a very wear sighted man Oar i rett 1* HervIsa of Hrnoklyn. In s|*sik» i lug of hla Arsl Interview with *ml* i nr lit Italian, sold a few days ago that ; W* htapnretll would hold a vtsltor’s card within Ave nr »U Inches of hla eyea In iinlrt to decipher It The alugular |«irl rtf this ahoy la not that a man with imh an InArmlty ah*mid Is* aide to nnitlo other *a»««W‘*ns*ra fur heeuir a« of vl«toU ih*t«*nda rather M|*m the retina than the ***uv* ttiy »*f the leuaea of the eye, amt the eyepte«v ef a 1 dues aet in a Iblte ‘hi ! that the gifted scientist In question should IvaMtuslly refrain r*'*m w*nr ! |ng ejregtaaaes ISteslldv he has a MtS i Hit as lo Ihe effe- I of Iholr IMS- 0|*'U tils visual |*ary ni spits The Claim* of (irmt llrltaln and the ( onrnalona of Vrwrni* In The colitroveray over the Venezuela boundary la nn old one. In I*K»1 n treaty waa algncd between Spain and the I Mitch which Hilpulated that the Orinoco rnloiile* ahouhl belong to the Hpanlah and the Ka<|ulle> colonic* to the Dutch. In the adjuatinent of hounriarte* at a later date Venezuela Inalated that what waa meant Tty Ilia Kaequibo eoloidea waa the Dutch act tlement* on the river of that name, aiul It haa alwaya lualaled that the propoaed boundary waa tin' eaal hank of that river. Map No. I allow* IhU original lam Hilary line tietween Vnnex uela and the poHaeaaion* of Holland n* uaderatood and agryed to by \ on ezuela. The llrlllah governtneiit. acquiring what I* known a* llrltl li Huluitn, claimed that the reference In the treaty of 1M0I waa not to the I Pipdltn Hardf, hut to the entire witter alied draining Into It. Aaanmlng tlila poal lion, (treat Britain pualeal her poa mtaalon* far to tint weatward. In ilia cnaalng the question It waa contended that, even If thla provlabm waa ad mined the water alied of Kaeqiillio river could not extend beyond the Moroco (or Maronll river, which alao (Iowa northward and Into the Atlantic ocean llfty niliw* to me west 01 ids Kseijudbo, WwT ,ra—Tittiia-.* jBBf. rwnnrrr ->..-lgg g j i Map No, »—Territory Taken Vrom Venezuela liy Ihe ScliolMhiirtfh I,Inc In 1M4I. Msrkril In H lillc. In IS4I itic Hehoinlmrgk line was run, (lie tract Included as shown by Ihe while portion of map No. 'I’lie territory claimed by lids boundary, If It is allowed lo stand. Imludes the larger |*hii, of the talley* of the Muza runt and Oiyunl rivers uud ex tends far oulslde the water shed of the Ksequlho and to the great mouth of the Orinoco. The object of this change In boundary was to establish a post ut ihe mouth of the Orinoco and lo dominate It* commerce. The opposition of Venezuela to this bound ary wan vigorous, and filially, In 1H44, isird Aberdeen proposed a compro mise line, abandoning Ihe mouth of the Orinoco, but Including the larger Map No, H—Territory Conceded by Venezuela to Great llrltMlu Marked la White. part of the water shed of (he Ouyunl, Venezuela in the meantime had Indi cated her willingness to concede the boundary as beginning ut the mouth of the Moroco river, granting Kngland In this wav full sovereignty over the white portion, as shown iri map Iso. d. The controversy remained unsettled and In lMHl I/ird (Iruuvllle proposed a new line, claiming still more territory than was claimed under tin* Aberdeen line. Wo the matter rested until the dlacovery of gold Helds westward of the Kchotnlmrgk line. Then England began to push her pretcualoiis to the west and gradually extended the sphere of her activity and Influence until she hud luld claim to an cuor Map N*. t-V#SMSfl«» Trrrllarr Has Claimed hr Ureal tlrllala Worked lo M kite moils tract not couiciuplated |n tbe conferences of IH-tt. lk«» or 1HH1. The gold mines hsve lo>en largely opi ned Ity the Hrltlsh West Indian miner*, who Imve taken with them Ihelr own met lasts of government, and If Kng land's |ireas*Ur for a *l*fc arrvaut *mt of hi* impurte*! 11111*1 ml ami >wpp*d N* >limn by ■looking lose* I* *>ui “f he* r*w*‘ tm*he* wllk a h*>% »< kn> heal |Vrti*n|i* llarpara Ha*ar A »enny need she expend. Eet her simply write to C1M Carta PuMMNag Coummiv. PMladH»M< 1 m **»▼*• RwRU—M MMMMV I Uattiifc'i'Mi.M* | mmmmmtm W. n IK. OMAHA-*-IM* W)t»ii • mu* Uj *U ««•<*•*«. lMl» tionii.M. Ill Ml i^|wr