t Tbc Hirrisca Press-Journal ce. HARRISON, XIBRASKA. v.' i, Uit-.i Some men are eageriy sought aft. tecause they don't pay their debt. A man's idea of hard work ia any and at which he can t moke. sit down and "He was a follower of the golden sde," should be a soul satifying epi aph for any man. Never smote a gift cigar in the resence of the donor unless vou have eonderful self-control. Civil derire Is said to work weil In be Philippines. Wait til the Filipinos jet on to the way of civilization. For a steady, consistent casualty ree jrd, however, the gasoline can ha the lusso-Japanese war beaten a mile. Pauline A at or is not the only Ameri can heiress who has becomed allied eith the Spender family of England. Men should he elected to office be- use of their qualifications for the Job ind not for the purpose of keeping liem out of jail. We've seen so many Kales of "mill tods" advertised lately, that only the Mtral portion of all the factories oust be left by now. After walking home from the. race Tack a man is in the buiiior to sneer it hi wife for taking chances on the IriJte cake at a church fair. A Kansas woman Is said to have ft her husband because he persisted n refusing to argue with her. Could inything be more aggravating? Professor Mason of the Smithson n Institute declares that "the blondes ire a disappearing human typp-' Not irhile the peroxide sujply holds out, rofessor. A California surgeon operated on a stlent while the house in which they arere waa burning. It's simply impos sible to stop some surgeons when they et their patient down. Newspaper wits do not always treat istiquitie with proper respect. One at them remarked, upon reading about he discovery of a capstan two thou Dd years old in the Forum of Rome, - tiat It mast have been the one used a winding up the affairs of the Roman Impire. Rusmell Sage Is not the only man who does not take a vacation. The alitor of the prison paper at Sing Sing admits that he has not taken a vaca tion for five years, and says that bis engagements are such that he does lot see bow he can take one for at least seven more years. A Southern clergyman la trying to ronvlnce a convention of bis church that Santa Claus is a myth and an abomination and that to allow Untie jbildren to believe iu him was to train them to be deceitful. Let us hope that the good, foolish man has no children f bis own who are never allowed to j;lay that a dol! Is alive or a chair is l horse or that there are Indians and grizzly bears lurking behind the rose bushes in the garden. One thing must be said for John Alexander Dowle he never steals pon his victim from behind. For In Itawe, he has made public annonnce oient of his Intention to dethrone Ed ward VII, with an added warning that the kaiser is to be the next vi'-tim; the czar and Emperor Francis Joseph to be spared until further not!ce. "I may be assassinat! for saying these jFvtuS . &xc5iDrti th In torpid Ilijah III, "but I fear nothing." Wish such I dare-devil adversary bis majesty iiould better look out When should a girl marry? Govern or Warfield, of Mary'snd, thinks not before she in twenty-six, and he bases ibis age on the fact that ids wife was twenty-six when she blessed him with her presence. A certain Dr. Bmlth regards eighteen as a good age, I ml Dorothy Dix sends a long screed to the Sabbath press giving various uggestlons. Meanwhile the person fciost vitally Interested makes her ar rangement to accord with her oppor tunities, and we incline to the opin fon that from now on to the end of the chapter the girl will marry Just When be Is satisfied that he cannot afford to throw away the golden tbanee. Olrla are very much alike in this renpecit; so are parents. ; One of the distinct features of the tgt Is the tendency to return to agri lulture. Where a few years ago the tarmr boys were rushing to the cities 0rwd tbe profession, there is now I Kt4ed move In tbe otber direction. f.?tBral reaction that must always '1 Movement so radical In some rM, coonnts for tbe disposition t!3 to tbe aoU for a llvelibood. 'CSI nt Wr fb 4TictlltUrist ' r3M pwfflDMl . The ) CZl tf mrmAtj buy added i mm far kit bM.t,a.n4 1 a B ta a batanM 'ri ttt art ww kM Uaht t f ) r lt m wwm- it to bloom liVe the row. The di. periling labor hich bent the f.-rm-c! tlie el.lers and sent the lads scurry':). cityward ba teen lightened t.j h v!-es that belter accou.:pL&!i the n I sought Tbe long hours are short ended, and the farmer find time to In dulge !n Uie enjoyments of I f ?. This f:iw condition, added to the facinatioii or inaepeniienee, nas turn-M many I men from other profes-ions toward the r country, carrying with, thern the man j riirUui of their cias until th? evter . irination of the chin wh.sier is threatened by the Prince Albert coat Recommendations for a change from the vertical system of penmanship i have been made before the Chicago Hoard of Education. One of the trus tees, Mr. Cameron, Is quoted as say ing of vertical writing: "It may he good to write love letters, but it is not good for keeping books. I do not know of a set of Isxiks in Chicago where the up and down writing Is allowed. If a ly can write only in the vertical style business houses have little use for him." If that Is the case it is a suifl- cient reason why pupils should not be required to learn vertical writing. If 1ui:'i house have no use for buys who write only the vertical style surely no lmy ought to be required to learn that t-tyle against his natural inclination. It does not follow, how ever, that those to whom it is natural to write the vertical should be forced to learn the Inclined style. The ob viously common sense rule is not to attempt to force the pupil ont of his nature! bent. That Involves something worse than a waste of time. It results either in total failure or the acquire ment by the pupil of an irregular, nondescript style not suited to book keeping or anything else in which uni formity and neatness are desirable. Very few pupils left to themselves would write the vertical style. Per haps as many would write with a backward inclination. There is no danger that there will be any lack of penmen writing with the forward in clination if pupils are taught to make the best of the style which comes natural to them. There is no obvious reason why books rhould not be writ ten iu the vertical style, other things leing equal. Indeed, that style has the advantage in point of legibility. When Thomas A. Kdison was a tele graph operator he had few equals in speed aud anybody who could read "coarse print" could read what he wrote at top speed and his page as almost as even and handsome as print. There Is no valid objection to a set of books kept by such a writer so far as the penmanship is concerned. But if business houses will not have that style very well. Those who can write it like Edison can flnu enough writing to do if they wish.. They should not force themselves to write another style which they can never master merely to please the business houses. TOM'S CLEVER TRICK. TkU Big: Elephant Conld Heolly Make a Mouth Orson Bound. Many New York girls and boys, as well as out-of-town young visitors to the city, will recall Tom, the big per forming elephant who furnished daily amusement for big young audiences with tricks and other marvelous per formance in the Central Park. menag erie. That Is to say, his performances seemed marvelous for a heavy elephant whost natural position was on all fours, and who did not speak English, even though It almost seemed as if he understood it Old Tom finally became so dangerous that about two years ago he had to be quietly put away by a dose of poison. Perhaps the most remarkable ot Tom's tricks was one of which his trainer was very nrnn1i pot only be cause It was difficult, but because it was novel as well. Tom would stand upon hi hind legs on a strong box, take from his keeper's hand a boy'd mouth orgen, gracefully curl his trunk back until It rested on bis forehead and then alternately blow and dr-iw his breath through the musical refd of the toy. Rears have been trained to beat a drum and to wrestle, fie-Rig nnr Iwen taught to pl.'fl' ball and ponies to phi see-saw, but Tom's proud keeper thought his pet overtopped all other performing large animals in thir. novel musical solo. St. Nicholas. Considerate of Her Pastor. Captain George Archer, who recently gave np his post of iKxlyguard to John D. Rockefeller, heard, during his nine teen years of service, many intwvst lng things. "Yes," he said, tbe other day, "1 had some strange experiences while 1 was working for Mr. Rockefeller. I halted a good many queer people at Mr. Rockefeller's outer door. "I remember a Baptist minister I held up there last year. He hailed from a little town in Vermont, and ha talked like a brother to me. He told me all about a minister's life In the country. "It kn't an ea?y life. You'd be sur prised to hear how some country peo ple trroit their ministers. Wby, this man said that one cold winter night he was hustled out of bed by a womnn he didn't know and ordered to come right away to ber bou, twomlles off, because ber son was sick. "'But I don't know yon,' tbe min uter grumbled. 'Are yon a member of mj church T Am I your paatorr " No,' said the woman. I'm mem ber of Mr. MeWadCa cbnren. Mr. Me Wade la my paator. I don't oara about ealllnf klm la, though. My aoa's caae ia contaglona.'" Kifbt or wrong, a taagb goaa 'roand rnrkaa old maid aabojoaa that aha tat . ,, .... Mjri UbL h bjilLL. HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM THE COMIC PAPERS. PlmMnt Incident Occurring the World Oner SsrlK t hat A re Cheer ful to Old or Tuung-Fumj Selec tion tbat Ever) hod Will I'njoj. "I always enjoy reading the ps;.rs." Mid .Senator Ivgw. "You dor- asked the friend. "Ye; it give me the" opportunity of bearing for the first time the joke I told the night before." Modern Myle. "But. ray dear." protested the young tsad. "yi pronihvd after cur asr riage you would seldom th.it ti.e drs- jjaker." "And I have kept my word." replied t!e vouii'j wife. "Oniv old fashioned people go to dressmakers. 1 viait ladies' Uikvrs." Kipert Opinion. "But. papa," iiroteste.1 Gladys. "I am not a bit too young to marry. You kmc perfectly wWl lijut you marrleii omnium when she was and I am whole year older than that." 'I know, but I never thought much your mother's Judgment Iji that re Spect." Crnel of Kim. "No just look at these miniature bis-'uita I baked," said the egotistical wife. "They are d.iiity little tablet Yes," gpoke the brute husband "dyspepsia tablets." Bnramer Girl. Ennle Gladys tells every man she flirts with he is the apple of her eye. Eva Graclousi She must be culti vating an orchard. A Uoubtfnl Compliment. He You are Just as sweet as yon can be. SheI don't think that much of compliment. You see, it all depends upon bow rw pet you suppose I am capable of being. Town Topics. , The Unit. Tired Tatters Dls paper tells bouta feller wot died frum ennui. Weary Walker Wot s dst? Tired Tatters It's de feeJin" wot comes to a man when be glu so lazy dat kiafln'a bard work. Chicago News No Danger. Miss Playue I was almost frlghien ed to death when he midden y kissed me. Miss Dimples But you had no re cause for alarm. Joy never kills, you know. Way They Hare. "Does your club pay any attention to parliamentary r ):.? aaked Wig aggt "Of course we don't," replied Mrs VIgwaggs. "We didn't make them." Then And Now. "Matches." remarked the sentimental female, "are made In heaven." "Perbups rhoy were in forme ". rejoineo tne practical your man, "but that must have been before the match trust was organized." Tatent to Prevent Baldness. t V Ilia Privule Opinion. Mrs. Enpeck -Here's a story about i man who actually sold his wife. Now wlwt do you think of that? Enpeck Oh, there are some fools In the world who will buy any old thing. I'oor Consolation. lie I don't like your friend. Miss Knox. She told an acquaintance of mine that I was a perfect Idiot She Oh, I'm sure she didu't meant It She knows as well as aneyone else that no human is absolutely perfect What Did lie Mean? Wlfe But doesn't it cost an awful lot of money to send me to the sea shore for three months erery summer? 1 Husband Oh, yea, of course. Mon ey la certainly a great blearing. CoaldiTtlHWoraa. EtlH Charlie Haplelgh lan't quite bin; f late. Vf Indeed! I hadn't noticed aay laprovaaeat. I ' f If w s.r Win s ( cm i ii r- 4tw 1 w Hated to Be Disturb d. "That "Wi;y More Thus 1. if. like. I e.V tidier (showing i-.rrri' d you think of it, oid sinui i Criticu-!f remarkably lifelike. U , jt portrait of some friend of yours? I IwAuber Ye, it Muggshy. ; thought you knew him. ! Crittme Know Muggsby? W hy. o: course I know him. I've known bltr iniinuitely for more than twenty years j I Reason Wur. I "Bat jru Americans." protected tht Englishman, "have no ancestor U whom you can point w ith pride." j "Weil, tbat is our misfortune rube ' Tban our fauit," replied the Americai girl. "Moat of mir ancestors came frou England, you ktww." Practical lemontration. "Oh, bow (vmiM youT' exclaimed thi fair maid, wtio had been kiaaed unex pectedly. "It will afford me pleasure to aho roti, caunlv replied the aud a clou young man. Whereupon be proceeded more slow irauu! Verdict. Uttle W;U1 Sny. pa, whit race V we lielong to civiiizwl or ha!f,ivll iz.M? I'a Civilised, niy sou; but our nex door r.elgltisirs aTe only half civiiii" f llaht Interrnption. lie kissed her once, lie kissed her twics lie was the hspp;esl of all meu; No doubt he would bsv kiwi he tcrice But her papa csme in j'lst thfn. f-hnttiiiu liira Off. N'ewpop- i have an unusually smar littji' Ix.y. Nagidiy Yea, so I've been told. Newpop (flarteredi Ah. who to! you?" Nagsby You did a moment agr HI. Choice. Plodding Pete I,ew. ef youse win machine, wot kind wouJd youse nithe le? Izy I'w One uv dem perpetua morion machines. Pi'kldliig Pete Cfz why? I-azy Iw iz dey never work. Didn't Mind It. Satan Those men over there don seem to mind the beat at all. Who ar they? The Janitor They used to be Turl lh bath attendants. Proper Definition. Little Willie Kay. pa. what U th meaning of premonition? Pa it's something that a Us peopl who Bay 1 toW you so.' my son Two of a Kind. 1 es, aald ttie young drug clert w!w had been tnrttlng In ,io!)hn ha! news for nearly two weeks; "I've got boss wife." neii. you nave my sympathy," r Joined the man who had come In t buy a botrlp of hair restorer; "I've go that kind of a wife, too." Old, Old Morles. Is your huHbuud fond of fiction? ssked the literary woman. "Yes, Indefsl," replied Mrs. Gaytooj His favorite la tbe 'detained-at-the office' narrative, with the 'sick-friend story a close second." Important Settlement. The Friend So your engagejnen with Count DeBrcxitie Is a settled fac is It? The Heiress Not quite. Ffe Is not preparing a schedule of his debts fo papa to sot tie. Hia Lonely Flight. Oh, fly whh me," the young man criea "Where fond hearts oft have flown." bit her papa chanced to hear him, and- ell, the yonug man Hew alone. Just for a lllun Illm Would you scream If I at tempted to kiss you? Her Indeed I would if anyoo happened to be looking at the time. Wise Yoongr Man. Elvira Ami did he kis you befoc your chaperon? Marcla Oh, no. He was wie enough to kiss her first. . Getting at tbe Facta. "IfcxHor,' queried the lnquhiltlve pei son, "do you believe that the cigarett habit causes weak minds?" ncesaniy, repnea uie m. u i a rule it merely Indicates them." I 'As Aa Others Hea lie. "Do you think thie photograph doa me justice V asked Miss Elderlelgh. "I should ay not" replied Ml Youngbud. "Wty, it make you ap pear ten years younger than you real!' are." Neceeearr Kvil. Mlaa Verjuice What a aha me K I how tbe men deceive us poor women Mlaa Blneboee Tbey would neret get a woman to marry them anleei they did, mr dear. FMmdeiiwha Baile tla, itt b-jv 1 e.-r met.", I f s. ..te,,.,w,.ur. dJW jIFK IS HIT A UltKAM. Br ItaMI . raufrnii. P--hoid. fear of the Ird is wind .nu -Job. nrlll., 2. The world ruut le mo e to s ban a place of temporary aiuueniiit ir suffering. The sp.eudors wltJ vhich It ia decked snd whl h e have he abidiy to admire, the wtadwm atb vhich it i unimaied. .''id tl' rio jiic.-ii e v. ilU wh:ch It -.pikles wLhU v have a di-ire ti liti l rlsnd. r"c iluiiji'Ld i( as a si,ere of iiit.u.te lm nan p.jsMbllities. What a tnexxsg Is Mru by the gbltiriiig tsr M.at draws ur uttentlon to the npp -r re-iona ;ere the mira-le of d.ty i wrought md the myter of ti ki'' ' woteii: Vbat a l-Mn is taught by tin1 o-?an. f-stiesa snd roarin. t jieldiug to .he law of oliedlcm-e well I ,v he rah, drop that ('' like a ear ol tympailiy and the assurmc f a b' s-ingl H..w in I' ll thought may e gatln-n d from ti c .b o-ntt'g fl"ld. Tearing the smile of sure -fii! toil, is veil as from th dreary dci-rt, sad y e.iiblematlc of a life without ir iiei How Instructive and 'nspir.tig ire all these phenomena in the factory ind creation of God! Yet it Is not seldom that we loe 'iglit of the world around u snd jties'ioii the reality of all esNleif-e. Skepticism is eplil'-inic. It sv-ems hnl ovv and lu-li' rom that we should ever orne nnder its liitlueuce. What in.n -itise, we Hy. to doubt facts snd to ll-ptite our own citeiice. Yet that s tlie phbosophy we are likely to il M.iise when things go against us. Ila iever a feeling come over you of your utter inability to understand yourself, i feeling of illmmed consclousnrsj. a feeling that made the universe appear 'ike a mass of delusions? I!nw slngu- i-.rly things shape themselves when we think of how much of onr aspira tions, endeavors, snd expectations re man an unrealizable fact, and how much of what we cherish and fondU leaves nothing more behind than a nd recollection! Is It not In the thadow of such reflections that we are wont to say, "Life Is but a dream?" What do we mean when we ay ' f ife U a dream?" We mean by it tiist there Is nothing reliable in this world. "Life Is a dream" Implies all that skepticism designates. It Is the theory of double In a nutshell, the iuintessence of the skeptic phlloso- ihy. With most of us sketlclsm is a issslng malady. It comes and goes. But when it becomes chronic we are joor indeed. The Bible recognises the rower and acuteness of skepticism and nade provision against It. The Book f Job and that of Ecclesisstes are cal culated to counteract evil, to which here Is a proneness In human nature. rhe lending thought Is In both the i:me namely: "lear of the Ixird, that is wisdom" that Is, fear of or. hftt Is the same, faith In God. must je tbe supreme fact of our existence. Skepticism, as a rule, finds an open door where worship of God U made subservient to our world'y purposes. People who uphold religion for the lake of obtaining valuable returns in his world will lose faith in God when their expectations do not blossom into actual gratification. Quite different It is when we place religion and spirituality shove our 'einporal Interests. What If woridlv reasures are at our command, we will regard them as gifts of God, and will cheerfully Invite our fellow men to share wilh us more or lens those jenefits and advantages. And what If nlsfortunei and disnpolnt nents over- adow our path, we will soon rise ilove them and find comfort in the belief that In the management snd conomy of kind Providence 1 w.,rk or the accomplishment of a gissl end. If. Indeed, let us appreciate fenr of r, what is the same, fnlth In God. u the supremacy of wisdom, and we re masters of conditions, and r .ain firm and unembarrassed am'dst II the varied scenes and experiences f our limited pilgrimage. IGIIT BY KXPKUIKM-K ONI,Y. tsr Her. w. H. Heei. A simple definition of light is Light Is that agent by which object re seen." Two tilings are necessary ir sight fir-t, a reflector property rcatcd to receive the light that comes rom the object, T,lght fails upon the usicrle.s eye of the blind man with n0 espouse. Second, light to come frmn he object to fall upon the eye. With- ut either of these there can be no j eight We see things in the uKht which falis tition them. The vn,.. gian painter sees bis landscape In rtriteiilah-bltie atmosphere, th cu. blind engineer dashes past the red light of danger because be sees but the wblte light We see the truth through the glasses of our own experience. The dishonest man can believe none hon est; tbe Impure recognlae no purity in carnaje; the hypocrite bopee to divert attention from himself by called. "Htop These men aee not light, but dark noes. "In thj light shall we aee light" The member of the mob who thinks be aeaa light In the ephemeral public eeotlmeat and rnabea on to burn the atsra and tort are hia with aach aatw WIT U wuM IJ.i tie b Vt MVle in- , ill dark- ' A.'-' - iili" ferer thin to t.resk heads and d.--rev the life of lis fe..w HUB wbo 1 . . - . 1 ,1 . . M,-h I I bo vomutan.y aurreoocrea -iurs . . ... men see bg-t not In h. light but tn that afiT-orinsl public wii'lment. Or-, der Is hes ren's first law; . tolence l sntagonls'ic to it No two wrongs ran PT.r nuke rigbi Add s roiny aa you insy. they stl't pndu'-e negative quantity ! Jesus Christ ! '1-e trie iltrht of the world Buddiis the "light of As;s " but the mii' author called Je sus the "light of the worid," I'ltORH MUX 7 UK MlYl Br Dr. taorfe t. Tart Inconsis). li.'v ! one of the saddest tii!.'i-s ill life. We meet It on every hand Broken pledges, ruptured friend,. sCilp u iiii.r, i.M od 1 gnticin strew the the pathway of the agea IsU'et have .iH-n organized1 iar'eiy for the pur pie of overcoming this weakliess, and iu so far ss they ::uie .l"cei!rd Iu ,inl g so they are to i,f ivjrjitiietided. The mi o. t. 111.1.. chiir-'li that falls t etuplias:7.e the d.mger of lin--rislstency fails b do Us foil diitv. Siesdr isttica la the opjsiaite (Hiailty, ami it ii- one of tiie noblest ciiars'-ter-istlcs of true manhisid. Wheti one caa bones! !y say of a t iter, "lie is a true friend -tie alwaj. ntsn.is by a fellow in silvers ty or prosper. ty." no higher, compliment ca.l i- P-'M Ood pity the man who Is one (l.big to your faee and another t jmir baekl IIaeii have mercy on the man who will smile upon you and vote ju ;i ri.ht when every thing Is guing well with you. and then turn to you the coid shoulder and gtva you an icy stare when tilings go wrong. Mo man should stand by another who Is breaking a righteous law or living a life of sin. ' Hut every man should itaud by his f.-iiow man when he Is, trying to do right If In the wrong, he should patleutly point out to hlni the better way, ami as tactfully as pos sible lead him into It. This Is true service. This Is Clirlstianlty. Employers need more of the spirit which will move them to stand by their employes, and those who work for wage need more of the spirit which will move them to stand by th fellow who has given them their Jobe and nude it possible for them to keep the wolf from the dior. There Is no other right way to adjust tis differ ences Isr-tween capital and labor. Every man should pray for dellv erance from the inconstant, th vacil lating, the double-minded, the two faced; every man should be steadfast, not stubborn; ImmoTiM in whatever he knows to be right, not eaally led aatrsy from honor and Integrity. Htand by the good, tbe beautiful, the true al ways, everywhere, and both God and man will stand by you. HCSfclAS BAHK AM MQt'RRr)K. Br Iter '. C. nmrto. Who has wrought the greatest deisls of late in Itussla or Japan? No Jap anese admiral, though be sink the Russian fleet twice over; no Huss.an general, though he drive back the Jape from Port Arthur and hoid Manchuria for the czar. The greatest conqueror lira In the cradle. The birth of an Infant son to the long expectant and oft-disappoiut-' ed houseltoid of the Itusslan monarch has given to that nation a new birth. It Las nerved tbo arm of every Ru sian soldier and put heart into the 'ouncillora of state. But tliis is a smaii thing. It ha given to the exllea of Siberia riglits long withheM; It haa brought new hope U) Finland; it has enlarge th liberties of tbe common fieopie; it has opened the dxra for r forms such it a revolution with blood shed and conflagration could not have accomplished. Th.? power for the conquest of the world is not in Its armament and It navies. These are the clumsy and In effectual exponents of Inferior force! The greatest forces and most potent are those that rule Uie human will and make it operative for rlghteoua ness. Short Meter Permona. Paint does not make purity. Words are the windows of the soul He cannot help who does nol hope. Bet-k happiness, you find heartitohe. A little charity makes a lot of cheer Cherishing malice ii nurturing mi ery. Every biography embraces all h!-' tory. The world needs rlgliteousnea. m than rites. Rhetoric I a fine embalming fluid for religion. Failure may mare a good founda- Hon for auccess. There is no work la anything thai lead to waste. The picture we admire make our own portrait You cannot aave wandeiing onea with a field glaaa. RaUfkw ia aura to have a qneer taata w the au who eau tak i . . ' .afi-..,etjti.. ' i. "' aVi y. .-f-',, -J5r;e,.