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About Harrison press-journal. (Harrison, Nebraska) 1899-1905 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 18, 1904)
. V - l j i Short Qtoriesi 1 a iiiiMMtntm A New York dlvorc and a man ilio Is noted ft.r Ida -ori'iueitii a mot .1 rouriK matron f iiniidid the oci-usioii 'or Harry I-hr'a Intent witticism. The two w-re strolling sts the lawn, alien a lady with It-hr called attention 0 th-m. "Tiny l'iok aii happy a c!.l!-Irt-ii," she remarked. "Tln-y ouitlit ti i'," he remarked; '"tihe'is a ST.it- !dow aiid he's a nike." Kipling ones dewrilied the Sunday Horning sendee of a Itt!fiih;i mi which hp too'; rruWe. It was a very sell nt tended aervlre. every ailor imt in duty Im'Iiik there, and. after it wa ver, Kipling Rnld t-i one of the Jin-kb-a. 'Are you oldlifed to attend tln e kt rice erery Ktindny morning V "X no o." fa Id the riilur, "ii"t e:i th Jhllged. hut our Kng would he diopped 1 we didn't" The late dimming Ciapp, of Itiuton. rsa for come ye-.ira after the t'lll War I cotton planter in the South. Mr. lpp had on hl plniitiition a little iiy n buttons ealh il "Sum." S ji in one af lertiooti pointed to a hottle on hi m.-is-t' litireatl, and wild: "M:ir Clmn Slnif. am diit hair oil':" "Meiey, no. lam. thiit'a nine." aald Mr. t'hipp. "1 ftietm iIiim why I emt't clt uiiih cap iff." said Sam, thnii.'htfiir.y. It 1h mild of the Itev. I. K. Kiink. ahe hook on Kpir tunlKm him made lut.ti a u!tn t ion that even mm ji t-)il!l He hud a pwnllarly stihil'' and d icii .li j mind. One day, at Sunday n-h.cd. i clergy man put n niimher of ipi'-U : o him, and finally nfd: "What oin amiiduieiit. my Ind. did Ad.nu hn-ak when he ate the apple V" "If ymi p!eHe, air." wii the reply; "there weren't any lomtmitiiliiients at that lime." I)r. Kvana. the American dentlM, who achieved such succ- in I'iim. jnce received, In-fur- he went ahroad, 1 letter from a yotinn Verinonter who wanted a net. of fnlo teeth tuaile and lent to hi in. The letter concluded: "My mouth Is three Inches acront, five MKhlh Inches threw the Jaw. Seine bummocky on the edc Shaped like i hoHH ahew, toe forard. If you want to lie more particular I "hall Iihy" to ?ome thar." It wan CladNlone'a hahlt when In Paris to vlait the I-nttn Quarter, where be haunted the second hand hook tliopa. One day. ns he entereil a simp pear the Och-on, he found the book seller tiilkinu with odd looklm per ion who lielil in IiIh handa an old edi tion of Villon' poems. Hi ib. wns raj: mil and dirty, hi fa.e matted "It.i hair, and he had "the eve of an :ir. li aniel and the mouth and Jaw of a baboon." The respectful nttitud. of Ihe lMikelIer showed, though, lliat the man win n personality. tilads'oiie filtered Into conversation with him nhout Villon, and for an hour Hoy diy-r-used early Tretieh poetry: then tlie KranKcr fhullled out of the ln.p. "Who I that ifcntl can?" Itepiired ;iadtotie, with inteie-t: "he ha an extroordiiinry knowledge of l-Tcndi poetry." ".Monieur, hr iiimsen ,n greatest poet, ("int l'ltul Vriaine:" MECHANISM VS. BRAINS. Hubt!tutc Found and 1'otcnti-d Many Tiint- I'.iuh Vcnr, "From the corn miller's little hell that sets up n fussy tinkling the mo ment the hopper run empty tip to the ralciilHllne machine that lire now to ) found In banks and insiira t- hees, lies. cleiiring houses and observato there are k uKin.v mechanical nubMHute for bmln workers that it Is Is, dillh ult at times to realize that it after all, only mechanism and not Intelligence that Is being evo.veu, wild. an employe at the patent office to V Washington Star reporter. "Home of the touches of what, for convenience, we may tall mechanical Intelligence to lie met with In vari ous odd corner of the Industrial and commercial world are really quite amusing, and they have their proto type In that little bell of the old wind mill. "There Is, for Instance, to he seen In any screw factory a different appli cation of that device The machinery takes hold of n rod of metal, pulls It rapidly along, gives the end of It the tei.eral shape of a screw, cuts the thread round it and the slot In the head and then snips off a perfect screw. "If you watch the thing actually making the screws the Idea strikes you that It Is really n piece of mech anism; hut wheu Ihe machine comes to the end of It material mid gives a sharp, Impatient ring "f '" for the attendant to bring more you can not help laughing mid you would scarcely be surprised If. when the man came with another rod. the busy screw-maker gave him h sharp repri mand for Inattention mid diln toiiness. lu these days of phonograph, of course. It would he quite possible to tuiike It. do so, -The nuicbine by which railway ticket are printed gives another amusing little show of Intelligence or what look to be very like It. Hall way tickets ore not, n might be sup jioscd, printed In large sheets and aft erward cut up. The cardboard Is cut Into tickets first and they are printed one by one afterward. "The little o-Lniik cards are put In a pile In a kind of perpendicular spout, ami the machine llp bit of metal underneath the Isittom of the spout ad pushed out the lowest ticket in the pile to le printed and consecutive ly tiuii.tien-d. "It in of no uc trying to print a had ticket The uiachine finds out an llltlterfect tiiutilf tu mn inutunt aitjl flatly refuse to have anythinu to do nn it. "These are simple Instance of a Rood iniitatiou of wutchfuinem and di.riiaiiiation; indeed, the latter lks aluioht like conscientious care. They a (Turd a droll Mip-j;eMhiii of the trained IntelHirence ('f the learned iig or the performirm dog; and we may find various decree of the unie. At the I'nited States mint they have weighing machine for colli to which It 1 difficult to deny a very acute In-t-l!lifen.-e. The mint apparatu is the more remarkahle of the two. "The new coin at the mints, how ever, are sometime a trifle over weij.-lit, while sometimes, of course, they are under, so it Is necessary to sirl theui out in three categories lijfht, heavy anil good. Thi delicate business is done with unerring preci sion hy a ions row of wonderfully clever little machines. "Into these machine slncle piles of fchinlnic new coins are put, and quite automatically the mechanism takes each coin, puts it into the scale and in a fraction over two seconds at the rate of twenty-live a minute weighs it. If tlie coin is light the imtcliinp shoot. it Into its proper receptacle; If heavy into another, and if it Is of cor rect weight or with a margin, as they call It. it is pushed into a third re ceptacle." FATE OF THE LAST CHILD. Motherhood Relic of I'ast Through Modern tlsHjfe. The last child looked about him pain fully, and winced, without knowing why, at the contemptuous glances of (tie grown-up. Hi mother, shame faced and absorbed, fed him furtively from a hottle, and blushed as she did so." "Mother." said the child curiously, "w nat is the matler? Are we different from the n-stV What have we done to cause all this prying contempt'" Ills mother sighed as she replied: "My isiy. it is no longer good form to have children. The idea of not hav ing them, promulgated lit first by a few queen of society, gradually spread to the masses, until It becunie firmly cUb!ishcd. Now no self respecting wife ever has any babies. You are the only one left. You are tlie last child." "itut, mother, whom am I to play with?" "Flaying went out long ago, with' the advent of psychology and the high er education. It was dlseoven-d that children got a certain amount of pleas ure out of playing, and this not being in accordance with the scheme of life as uught in the highest thought cir cles. It was stricken off tlie list." "Hill mother, Is there no hope for me?" None whatever, lty being born you have fatally compioinised yourself and me. You are a freak, and I am ostra cized. There Is no help for us." And the last child, overwhelmed by the serio-isncss of the situation, con scious of the humiliation of his posi tion, turned sorrowfully to his mother "oh, mother, will you forgive me? I knew not what I did." And the mother folded him in her arm. "My dear child." she sobbed von see that I am to blame? , "don't In the race for supremacy I have been left behind. I am n relic of the past. Alas! to think that I should turn out to be onlv a tin-re mother: .--mart, ci. Ilium Urive tint Negroen. It is enough to make all the old Mis sissippi ltiver nun who nave passed nway and gone to their reward stir in tlio lomli could tliev know that Hun garians are to be Htilmlltuted for ne- griK-s an roustabout on the river. This shatters the last tradition. We cnnniit iuiitgiiii! tht-se silent, taciturn little men of central Europe making the moonlight nights vocal with their minstrelsy on the lower dock or scram bling with each other for nlckcla thrown by Hportive passengers. Nor shall we believe that the mate .lure unwind that panorama of pictur esque profanity tit his long, wavering undulating line of roustabouts as tney move from deck to nhore with the cargo. The darky roustabout hears thea objurgations with a Joyous and Appreciative cur and welcomes a hurst of originality in' It lry rolling the whites of his eyes expressively nt his fellows, or. If it Is particularly moving by a loud. "Vnh, yah, yah," that Is re ward enough for the objurgator. What will tlie Hungarian care for the ex pletive wit that stirs the responsive negro heart so deeply 7 He will not understand it, and If he did his per ception of the ii..nior of swearing it not of the open ready na'we of !hat of the sons of Ham. He would get .....I about It. Kverythlng is changina on the river. The passengers are not the wiiiip, "' hunts nre smaller, table fare Is sadly scant and luxury has long Klnee departed, St; I-ouls Globe-Democrat. I'nlliiig II Mildly r'bly. Grimes h, come; Miss Muggins li not so had looking J'ou seem tt think. Why, I believe you think she N positively ugly. Grant I hope I sin too much of a gentleman to think anythjng so tin complimentary of n lady. But I don'l recall any person whose face is s splendidly filled for a thick veil. Boston Transcript. It Is almost Impossible to discourage the msn who thinks bo can toll funny story. AN OLD MAN 8 THItlU TE, An Ohio Krnit Maiacr, 7H Year Old, C ured of a Terrible C'aae After Ten Veur of Suffering, Sidney Justus, fruit dealer, of Mentor, )., sayg: "1 nil cured hy Iioju'a Kidney Tills of a severe case of kidney trouble, of eight or ten years' standing. I suf fered the most severe backache and other pain In the region of ir5ET JVSTt 8. ,be w , d n e y ,. These were especially aevere when stooping to lift anything and often I could hardly straighten my back. The aching was bad in the day time, but Just as had at night, and I was always lame in the morning. I wsi bothered with rheumatic pains and dropsical swelling of the feet. The urinary pas sages were painful and the secretions were disi-olored and so free that often I had to rise at night. I felt tired ail day. Half a box served to relieve me, and three boxes effected a permanent cure." A FREE TRIAL Address Foster Milhurn Co., Uuffalo. X. Y. For sale by all dealers; price M cents. When tincture of benzoin Is added to any lotion or cream it should be dropped In slowly, constantly stir ring or beating to prevent cutdllng. A catholic oiptment for chapped inds and Hps and fever sores aroucd the mouth Is made by drop ping fifteen drops Of carbolic acid In two ounces of glycerine. t are of ihe Hair. It is now generally agree J that many r the shampoos iu use are injurious to lh hair. The best treatment is fre quent hni-hiiig and absolute clean iim-Mi. Hush tlie liair in a lather of li-jiry Soaji nivi rinse thoroughly. Let the hist water h cool, as it close the pores of the skiu nud prevents colds. ELFANOIt It. FA It 1C Fit, When brushing the lialr tne strokes should be long and even; short un even strokes have a tendency to break and snarl the bair. To keep the hair in curl take one half ounce of gum tragacanth and iissolve in a pint of rose water, let tmd over night, strain through lieese cloth and add a little oil of roses or ell of avander. This should he bottled and applied to the bair just before curling. Common baking soda Is one of the best remedies for the removing of warts and corns. Bind on wet and moisten the soda several tfmes a lay. The warts and corns coil julckly disappear. WrT 1 ONE DOLLAR! I Not much money, is It 7 But if Invested with us it'm enough to give you an opportunity to receive & sum running Into five figures. Writs at once for Information. NATIONAL CONTEST CO. 20 BROAD STREET . . . NEW YORK as T I IQUID rrv " " A Ihe process of making Liquid Koal requires three days. The process of reduction requires 350 degrees of heat. It is a compound embracing every germicide, antiseptic, and desinfectant found in coal, treated chemically with an alkaline base until every objectionable feature is eliminated, being non-poisonous and harmless. LIQUID KOAL is a combination of Creasol, Guiacol, and Kalium. LIQUID KOAL is a black oily liquid. Sells for sixty cents a pint, one dollar a quart, three dollars per gallon. You may have a pint free without ny expense to you whatever if you will cut out the coupon in this adver tisement and mail It to tlie National Medical Company at Sheldon, Iowa. LIQUID KOAL cures and prevents lion cholera, chicken cholera, pink eye, black leg, and all the germ dis iases of animals, hecause It is a germ killer and goes into the stomach, into the bowels, and Into the blood, and wherever the hlood goes. It per meates the entire system of an ani mal tlirouiili the medium of dicta tion, and denudes the system of evety llscase Kcrni. We ate Riving three hundred thou wild loIhus worth of It for adver tising purposes and to prove to farm eis and stock ralscts what It will do. LIQUID KOAL' has heen tcsfed for the past five years In Ihe largest lahoia toiies of this country, and (icrmany. ind in many or tne expenojcnmi nations. . We have proved beyond a question f fldiiht tu frirn t hi oresir.psr i vnerts if the country, that itdestrovs irerms uf fliwnsis common 10 un uuuiesuci anlniHls, ana ineretiy cures diseases. Tonns. intestinal and skin parasites, Mr-Lu lice, insects, and vermin sucK the life hlood and sap the vitality of iimicsllc anlniHisntifi i. wis until tne kiMiital losses to fat mors and stock raisers reach enormous footing. The farmer and stock raiser who would increase his hank account, must, ot necessity wage a continuous ttfrfare an a Inst these robber worms, parasite, vermin, and insects. The most effective and inexpensive rwhedy for all these Is Liquid Koal. Llould Koftl aeutralliet the acid HINTS OS ETIQUETTK Invitulou to a wedding should tie sent out two weeks in advance. ine guests are received by the bride's umber at a borne wedding. The tactful and successful hostess always succeeds in putting her guests at ease. At a dinuer party the place on the right of tlie hestess Is considered the place of honor. A gentlrruao takes the initiative in asking to hpgin a correspnodence. A widow retains her deceased hus band's name on ber visitiog card, thus: Mrs. James Culling. A professional mao's title is used in an introduction, as "Dr. Blank," Professor Thompson. " etc. The lady enters a carriage first, but the gentleman gets out first in order that he may assist the lady. Ttie day at home Is engraved In the lower left hand corner of the card, the tight-hand corner being reserved for the address. Mrst things are dun best when tbey are duo according to rule;but the man who never takes the chances Iz a going to miss the luxury ov menny brilliant hits. One reason who we all luv babys Iz bekause we ain't jealous ov them; their purity arid Innosense iz out ov our reach. The man who marrys a woman simply for her buty haz but little more property in her than his nabors hav. KepeDtarce iz the highest prlcr W3 kan pay for ennythlng, and ye' mankind ure kontlnually hiddnlg against each other for the privilege. White spots or scars on the fi'gp' nails come from bruises and nothim can be done for them but to wal until the nail grows out. 1 he too frequent use Of cold cream will In some cases promote th growth of a slight down. The sponge when used for bathing purposes is hard to keep thoroughly clean and Is liable to sour. The sponge may be thoroughly cleansed and sweetened by rubbing through it the juice of a lemon; wash and rinse in warm water. Tn reduce the waist eiercise the waist muscles; place the hands on the hips, keeping the bips and lower limbs perfectly still and firm, twist the trunk vigorously from right to left. This is one of the best of exer cises for reducing the waist line. ONE PINT LIQUID KOAL Makes One-half Barrel of Medicine or Lice Killer. One-half Million of Pint Cans Given Away. condition of the system which is a condition favorable for the produc tion or worms causiug such diseases as hog cholera, authrax, chicken cholera, etc. Liquid Koal Is In general use by physicians and veterinary surgeons throughout Europe and America em bracing a wider range of uses than any preparation on the market. If you need Liquid Koal and have never used it please send us the cou pon below. We will then send you an oidor on your dealer for a sixty cent can and will pav your dealer ourselves for it. It will cost you nothing. It will cost your dealer nothing. You are not obligated to us in anv way if you accept this offer, we will not ask you to buy any after you have given It a trial. All we want is a chance to prove to you what it will do. If you want to know the result from giving Liquid Koiil to a sick animal.no matter what the cause of the sickness is, send us the coupon tod iy. If you want special expert advice, regarding your stock tnat Is sick send, us full description of the symp tnnis and also ten cents In po&t,n'3. You -jv ill also be entitled to the thirty-two page book on the germ dis eases of animals. Liquid KobI Is the Bent and Cheapest, Worm Killer Known to ctence A list of the diseases that Liquid Koal . cures Unit Chnlern I. ii nn Worm Swine rim: 11(1 Inieditml Wormt Cow Choi' r Ttihrrriilrall Amhru lilarli l CnriikUlk ntiuc Aboruos la vows Colic GUniteri IitntfTnper hiik lue luflumiKA Foot Rot TiWorm l ung Fever Iiflnmiitlon of tb Bill AWgetabk PreparalionforAs- n similalingtJicFoodandBeguIa- ,J ting the Stouwtcte and Bowls of Promotes Digestion.Cheerfi ness and Rest.Conlains neither Opium.Morpltine nor Mineral. Not Narcotic. tape afOUnrSAHLTLfmWR StU Mx.Xmiut JkuttSmid Ctmthtd ttmf Msnm rknm Aperfecl Remedy forConslipa Oon , Sour Stomach.Diarrltoca Worms .Convulsions ,Fe ven sh ness and Loss of Sleep. FacSunile Signature of XEW YORK. I EXACT COPY OF WRAPPER. EES If we were only hall az wlze az we think we are. we should kno at least twice az much az we do now. Thare are fu men who ever doubt their Judgments. Yu kan find skores ov men who kant' tend a tollgate and make their ackounts bailance, who kan tell you exactly how the finances ov the kuntry ought to be managed. A lake containing fresh water on top and salt water at the bottom has been discovered on ICildin Island, Lapland. The lake rises and falls with the tide, and the silt water evidently comes from the sea by an underground channel. Texa Fever Cirrft Poll Evil Karcy Chirken Cholera Mange Roup BoU Thrush Scours Look-jaw Nanil Qleet Blind stagKem Soratchei Liquid Koal Acts as an Appetizer and Vitalizer No disease germ can escape It, that Is the reasoD it cures for when the germ is destroyed the disease is gone. Two Things to Remember Use Liquid Koal to destroy the par asites on the Inside. Use Liquid Koal to destroy the par asites on the outside. Parasites exist and thrive only at the expense of live animal tissue. One I housund Dollars Deposited in the Union Bank at Sh;lilon, Iowa, to be (liven to Anvoue Who Finds Any of These Tes timonials Not Gen uine. Smith Conor. Run.. July 5, H'03. Nntiunal MoiHohI i'o., York, Ni'ltr (ii-nil"-m'n: Unvo ioetl nur l.iquirl Koal for a pur" nt dmliTti In hoi7H ami I huc mil found Its ennui. 1 Ind tlfty iK'url ot tior and live out of tiny 1 wai sitri' w'nuld dip, Imt by the in of vonr oiil hroupht them out O. K. (ind Lhvp not in''n bothered with cholera r,r hiiv other swine pldtitie sinee. Therefore etm any I" the swine hreedern nf Mnilh County and Un (louttry r;iWers tlmt it loo, net ei mi I Y'fiu ean jmrrh'ise this valuable tneiii citiP of Walker A Son, of Smith Center, who can not misrepresent this viiliinttle medieine to you. Yotiri Krntertiiillv. JOHN PYLE. P. S. Thavn nt thn present time sventy-iix head nf l ogs and pigs that are doin fine anil I ludlnvelf It had not been for the use of the lilquid Hon I I would have lost one-half or probably all of them. J. P. KEAKNKY COUNTY NO USER Y, O. A. Strand, Prop. Grower of Choices Nursery Steele M Inilen, Nabr., Deo. S, Iflfti National Medle.al Co., York, Nebr. About two weeks aifo many of the fiirmors around here lost very hnavlly by t cholera. I do not wish to write you a lone BfTterlug stale, mem about veur medicine but will lav thai I bought a quart Ma of Liquid Koal and U Im I lsf ill I in llffi) IfDi For Infants and Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought Bears the Signature of In Use For Over Thirty Years I notiss one thing, when I hav mi store clottes on everybody iz more polite to me. England's only female gravedlgger, Mrs. Elizabeth Geese, died recently, at Lewes at the age of seventy-six. On the death of her husband, in 1879, she was appointed to fill hisi place as grave-digger in the Lewes' Cemetery, and since theo performed the duties. Every time the face is washed and, especially before retiring the nius-j cles should be gone over witi cold' cream. Relaxed muscles, if this suggestion is followed, will soon be strengthened and firm. I am allwus just a littie afrade ov thoze who are very oily; blunt tools an't apt to kut. BEGGS' BLOOD PURIFIER CURES catarrh of the stomach. rnuiv WHHI M FISf (US. I Beat Cuuiih SyrupVTajitM Good. Be 1 time, f oiq Dy aruireiBiq- YORK NEB LIQUID rVOAL provement was so marked thai I bought a gallon can and used it with the result that my hoes all recovered and I did not lose one. My herd ot over 200 arei fine condition and you may put me down as o tiatunt user of Liquid Koal. O. A. Strand. Deo., 1902. We the underslpne d stock raisers and farmera (tladly testify to the merits of Liquid Koal man ufactured by the Natio nal Medical Co.. of Shel don, Iowa and York. lNebraska. We have used this product with grut tying success and advise all to g've it a trial. H should be on every farm in Nebraska. Rufus Kearv. liec. Neb. Geo. MilU, llee, Neb Chris .Schnll. Staplehurst, Neb. Cieo. Hingeljerger. Sewiird, Neb. J. II. Icarv, Oec. Neb. W. Pltighaupt. Stnplehurst. Neb. K. C. Meyer. Stnplehurst Neb. J. KinBebcrtrer. Sr, Uermivntown, Neb, liloonillekl, Neb., Dec. 18, 1902. I have sold Liquid Koal for a year now and never have found an article that pi vps such uni versal satisfaction as Liquid Koal docs. I can wifely say that I have not one dissatisfied cus tomer. I honestly think that 1f every farmer uould use It there' would be very Utile hogcholem In the country. It O. Mundcloh. i Vausn. Neb.. Dec. 12, It"l2 I have heen using L. K. as and insect, destroyer and Dud Kail von elni in for It. Would recom. mend it to all." I will keep It on Ihe place all th time.. Yours, Sum Cross. It Is positive crfventatlve of coataglous diseases. Cut Out This Coupon For It may not appear again. Fill nut the hlnnks and mall to the National Medical Co;, Sheldon, Iowa. My Dave Klnu of Block. Olseue. 1 have never tried Liquid Koal but If you will supply me with a sljty ctnt can free 1 will give It a trial. Give full name and address and write plainly. Send this coupon todBy. If you desire a thlrt y-two page book on the germ dlseuses of Ml iii h 1 n and special enperl advice regardtnt the diseases that effect, your own slock send ten rents In postage with this coupon to cover cost of mailing and ejpense to ui. The ran ot liquid Koal Is to be furnish you without ei press or I ralf hi aarget to yea Air AM n 1 J lvs