aiI Vraa Unlivery Aid.
At the recent iBteruatilual Good
EUad Convention, at Be Louia, Hun.
tank B. Nevlne, of the United attte
Poetoffic Department delivered n
idlreas la wnlch be said:
"The eetabUafcmeat of the rural free
letlvery of inali throughout the eouu
iff Ul produced a in ked iroproTe
Mt In the condition of the highway.
Wa there la prospect of rural free
letlvery Id otxainuiUty, work luinie
tlately begins on Um roads. Tberc
ire now tu operation 28.0UO rural
Kratee over which carriers travel &60,
MO miles delivering mall to about
1,000.000 people. More than 15.000
bridges hare been constructed over
ltriua that would oot hare been
Dutlt If It bad not been for the eetab
ItabmeDt of the free delivery aysteiu.
Nearly every portion of the country,
where road conditions will warrant it,
la now supplied with thlt aerrlce. But
In many sections the bad conditions of
the roads, or the lark of bridges, pre
vent the extension of the service. The
rural carrier of a standard route la
now expected to travel about twenty
Ave mllea each day to earn bit salary
f aoo a year. He In required to fur
olih and maintain lila own outilt and
team, and to give a bond of $000 fr
the faithful performance of lili duties.
Experience has demonstrated that thla
distance la too great on account of the
bad condition of the road. So many
rarrlera have resigned, thereby caus
ing much confusion and labor In the
department, that Die Congress Just ad
journed haa been compelled to add
$170 a year to the salaries of the car
riers of the country. This Increase of
salaries anvounta to aliout $-4,000,000 a
rear additional that the department
baa to pay to maintain this service on
account of bad road. Over a good
graveled or macadamized pike road a
carrier cau easily make twenty-five
miles a day lx times a week. Wtth
the roads a they are, It Is a question
Whether the next Congrws will not le
tailed upon to add another $1,000,000
to the salaried of the carriers.
"1'nder the road laws of moat of the
Western States at the present time
work Is done upon the roada In the fall
iy the various road districts, when
lliere Is no work to be done on the
farms. In the spring this work dlsap
pears. Nothing permanent remains,
and the roads are In as bad condition.
or worse, than they were before. The
coat of $2,000 to $U.000 a mile for the
txmstruction of hard roads In thla
Western country Is too great. In most
Instances, for road districts, townslilpa
and counties to bear; neither Is it
right that they should bear the entire
Cost. The public at large, which shares
directly or Indirectly In the benefits
ahould contribute to the expense.
There never will be good roads In thla
country until the National Government
takea tho Initiative In thla movement.
and the respective Btatea of til union
Join In with llberaJ contributions, and
this again la eupplemeuted by local
enterprise. Continental Europe, Eng
land and Ireland are covered with
bard broad pikes built at the expense
of the governments of those countries.
No eouutry In the world ever yet had
or ever will have permanent and pass
able highway constructed and main
tained by local authority.
"Hlity per cent of the population of
this country Uvea In the citiee and vll
jages; 40 per cent Uvea In the country.
It Is not fair or Juat to pla.ee the en
tire burden of good roada upon the
shoulder of the farmer. The general
public aharea directly or Indirectly in
the benefit and should bear tho e
pense of an equitable tax for ttla pur
(oe on all assessable values. The
weight of It upon the Individual would
then be a light as a summer shadow.
While Uila specter of taxation may
frighten some of our skittish oountry
friends and cause them to rear and
jiluuge a little, they will find on closer
Inspection that the goblin la a harm-i.-M
creation of the Imagination. They
will get buck In beueflts ten times
more than they will pay out in taxea.
"Why aome of our frlenda apum
Bovernaient aid when It is offered
(hem I cannot understand. They claim
lo be opposed to It on principle, and
Ian see no good in it There are some
eople so constructed that when look-
Lg Into a pool f watcr rn neT'
tr see the aky and the clouds above it
reflected on Ita aurface, but only the
Hud at the bottom.
"Thla Government never falls to do
(he right thing In the end. It will not
fall to do the right thing in tbls in
Ita nee. The Impetus given to thla
hovement by a few progressive states
hen who Introduced measure la Cen
tres last winter authorixlng national
Id Id the conatroctlon of highways.
Mil ultimately produce the results
limed it It cannot fall to do so be
tanse the public Interest demands It;
the progreM the age demands it,
the welfare and development o tho
fountry at Urge demand It, and It Is
bound to come lo aplt of those who
aiae their voices In opposition to It"
rawer Death by War.
If a rreoeh writer on military sub
facta la correct, the advocata of peace
no m looger fall back upon war's In
ireaslng deatroctlveneai to humao life
m aa argument On the contrary, be
tlaima that experience ahows that the
liMtor the destructive power of awd-
ern rifle and artillery the leas la the
percentage of men killed. During the
Seven Year' War betwen Germany
and Austria and the dynastic wars of
the eighteenth century the rival armies
opened fir at a distance of one hun
dred yards, and after the first few
volleys charged with the bayonet or
pike. The average loss in these war
waa seventeen per cent of the total
number of combatants. During the
time of the Civil Revolution and the
Napoleonic era the losses were sixteen
per oent In the Italian war and Orl'
mean war, with Improved weapons!
theeloea fell to fourteen per cent la
lBOt, In the wax of Prussia against
A a stria, with Improved oeedle-gune
and greater distance, the losses were,
seven per ceut. In the Frauco-Prus-'
stall war the losses sank to Ave per
cent This Is both fortunate aud un
fortunate, according to one's view-'
point But the fins octal argument for
peace cannot be gainsaid.
INVISIBLE HANDWRITING.
Transfer Left by Ink Which Mar U
Keadlljr Developed.
In writiug with certain forms of ink
on ordinary paper, placing the sheet
after thorough blotting la contact witii
a white sheet of paper, it is possible to ,
make o:i this latter uu invisible trans
ference, which, as M. A. Hertlllou lias
shown, may be rendered visible by the
use of certain methods. Iu fact a let
ter placed for aeveral hours between
the leavea of a book will leave ita
secret in this book, and a falsification
in a ledger may be proved by the ex
amination of the page against which
the falsified page rests.
A Swiss investigator (It. A. llelss, of
Iusannei has recently made investi
gations In reference to the above phe-i
uomeuoii and In reference to the cou
dltlona under which It may be pro-,
duced. It appears that the forma
tion of the linage depends principally
on the Ink, although It was discovered
that the latent Image may be produced
by nearly one-half of the Inks In cur
rent use, out of thirteen different varie
ties of Ink seven having produced a
Kitlve result. It further appeared
that the formation of the Image de
pended upon the presence of acids In
the colored mixture, the gum and the
sugar having no part In the phenom
ena, although the paper on which the
writing has been placed gives different
results. The best results were obtained
with paper well sized and polished, for
the reason that the contact In this cane
Is cloer, thus favoring the production
of the Image.
The duration of the contact Is not
necessarily long. In general about an
hour, while In order to reveal the lin
age two very simple measures are re
sorted to. The first method is to ap
ply the back of the sheet on which the
latent Image Is supposed to be a warm
Iron, an ordinary flatlron, which is hold
In place until the paper la slightly
browned, after which the Image will
appear sometimes very clear and com
plete. The otter method doe not make
any change In the paper to be exam
Ined, and consists In placing In con
tact with the latter a sheet of nitrate
of silver photographic paper for sev
eral hours six to twelve the two
sheets being exposed to the light. The
photographic paper will completely
blacken, but the latent Image will
mtmnA forth very distinctly. It ahould
be stated that the leaf on which a
latent image exleta loses thla image by
contact with water or alcohoL i'uri
I' Illustration.
The Great Russian Lake.
Lake Baikal, which figures so tnucl
In the Oriental situation, la a aome
what remarkable body of water. IU
name la a corruption of the Turkish
Bet-kill, "rich lake' the reference be
lng. presumably to the valuable flsh
with which It swarms
Ijike Baikal la the third largest body
of water In Asia. The Caspian and
Aral seas are the two larger. Both are
aalt, however, while Baikal Is fresh,
It la, therefore, the largest fresh wa
ter lake In Asia, and the sixth In size
In the world, the five Great Lakes of
North America each exceeding It In
area. Ita waters occupy a remarkable
depression In the vast plateau of Cen
tral Asia. The level of ita waters Is
1.300 feet above the sea, while the bot
tom of the lake is, in some place,
more tlian 8,000 feet below the aea
level. Ita depth Is, therefore, 4,500
feet lu the deepest part.
The lake Is 830 miles long, and from
nine and a quarter to forty miles wide.
Ita watera are a deep blue, and re
markably clear. There are a number
of Islands In It; the largest Olkhon, is
forty-two miles long. There are nu
merous hot springs on the shores, and
earthquake vibrations are frequent
The annual value of Ita salmon, stur
geon and other fisheries s about one
hundred and sixty thousand dollars.
Fresh water sal are abundant and
they are caught for tbelr fur. It re
celves the watera of several sVeenis,
Uie main one lK-lng the Salnega Itlver,
eight hundred mllea long. The upper
Angara River, also of considerable
size, enters Its northeastern end. Its
outlet is the Lcswer Angara, on which
Irkutsk Is situated.
The reason Vhy the Siberian Hall
road was not Jjullt around the southern
Lend or tne etae i ""
Pof the mountains reaches to the wa
ter edge, and the task would be ber
culean. Kvents In the Hast may com
pel It nevertheless,
, Consolation.
-It may he dat yo' sweetheart
Done lef you feelln' blue,
Bnt de mehm coolln' In d well
Wld a ripe, red heart fer yon I
Atlanta Constitution.
Consider the other aid. You may
be unreasonable.
IN ANY GARB.
Ia olden times, when a girl 'grew op.
They tied her with rope of gems.
They ahackled her anklea and wrbita with ore,
And they crowned her with diadems.
They soaked her tresses In perfumed ell,
' They rubbed her with pastes and things.
Then brought ber forth, aa a queen, befit
To rivet the gases of kings.
Bat now e dip In the tumbling waves,
With a rest en the sends between,
A linen skirt, and a sailor hat
And she'a Just aa moon of a qaeent
-Madeline Bridges, la Life.
Romance of
WE were all sitting on the plac
es, except Uiose of us that
were swinging In the ham
mocks among the trees; the sea wind
waa blowing over ua, the blrda were
lartlng low here and there, and the
bantams and the spring chickens and
the big black Cochin were clucking
i nd picking in the grass, watched over
by the old King Charlea, who redeem
ed us from vulgsrlty, and it waa a
icene of domestic comfort, as Aunt
Helen Bold. Aunt Helen, by the way,
oecame a very pleasant addition to the
xuufortable appearance of the scene,
is she aa!d it Khe wa Just aa plump
. ,,h tn he when her
next birthday may be her fortieth. She
had a soft flush on her cheek, where
the dimple was yet a fresh a when
he was a girl, and the flush deepened
sometimes Into a real damask; her
:eeth were like rows of seed corn for
whiteness, and her eyes were Just as
rown as brook water; only her hair
that wa quite white. Lovely hair,
ihough, for all that; she parted It even
ly over her low, level forehead and
ibove the yet black eyebrows; and we
all declared, every day of our lives,
that Aunt Helen was a beauty.
"I lifted to be," she bad replied; "but
that'a all gone now. 1 have put my
youth behind me."
Perhaps she had. But we young
rolks used to think differently when we
law Mr. Thornton coming up the road,
snd Aunt Helen's eye resolutely bent
on her work, but her color mounting
and mounting, till the reddest rose
that ever burned In the auushine was
not so rich. Mr. Thornton Haw It, too,
no doubt for he always looked and
looked Intently all the way by. But
the truth was I shall have to tell you
ail about It if I tell you any that
when Aunt Helen was 20 years young
er, she Mid Mr. Thornton had been
overs ever since they could remem
oer. They had built their house at
laat and her wedding dress waa made.
t ahe was a beauty, he wa every
mch her mate I know he was, be
cause he Is to-day one of the men It
tees you good to see, who look a If
Jiey could hold up the world If need
and Inspire you with confidence In
lielr power.
Now, what lu the world do you sup--it
th:t, vf'.'-h thl,r house furnished,
uid the cake baked, and a dozen yeara
i Intimate affection to bind them,
Aunt nelen and Mr. Thornton found
jo quarrel about? She declared be
rouldn't keep hen! And he declared
that he wouldn't keep house! That
was the whole of It to condeuse the
iatenient; one word led to more, and
laally, In a towering passion himself,
M- told Aunt Helen that she had bct
sr learn to control her temper If she
(id not want to be a vixen entirely,
end Aunt Helen took the ring off her
Inger aud laid It on the table without
; word and soiled out of the room,
ud refused' to see him when he called
ji the morning, and aent back his let
ter unopened, and cut the wedding
ake and put aome of It on the tea
able and sent the rest to the fair.
Perhaps, on the whole, Mr. Thornton
might have been right. Exactly one
week frointhat night Mr. Thornton
waa married to Mary Mabew, an In
offensive Httlo lody who would have
married anybody that asked her, and
ahe went Into the house that had been
furnished according to Aunt Helen's
taste; and Immediately afterward a
hen-house of the most fanciful de
scription of architecture rose on the
hill behind hi house, full of fancy
fowl, and the little lawn waa all alive
with it overflow, and you couldn't go
by the place without meeting a flock
of cropple-crowji. or pat ridge Cochin,
or white Leghorn, or black Spanish,
flying up on each separate piece of
fence to crow out Mr, Thornton's tri
umph reversing the oiu tradition of
the crower, and crying, "No women
rule here!"
They say Mr. Thornton grew very
old In a few year. Ills lnoffeualve
little thing of a wife turned out to be
a smart termagant who led him n
pretty dance. Perhnp she wa dissat
isfied with her piece of a heart; but
then she knew that was all when she
took It Ue treated her always very
gently perhaps feeling he had done
her some wrong In marrying her and
gra tided ber every wish, although, hav
ing cared nothing for ber lu the be
ginning, It Is doubtful If he cared any
more for ber In the end. Tbe end
came after 18 years, when Mrs. Thorn
ton waa killed In a railroad collialon,
and her buabandwas left with four
children on his band; rude, noisy, lll
farlng cubs, aa all the neighbors said.
If Mr. Thornton had ever Impatiently
aha need to think that-hla punishment
bad lasted-long enough, ba Mioagbt
now It waa Juat beginning, when he
found himself alone with those chil
a Barn-Yard
dren. Be wandered that hi wife bad
any temper left at all. He grew more
bent, more vexed and worried every
day, and one would hardly have rec
ognized, people aald. the dark and
plendld Btephen Thornton of hi
youth, In thla middle-aged, gray-haired
man; and yet to our eyea, be waa
still quite a remarkable looking per
son perhap more so from our asso
ciating him with the poetry In Aunt
Helen's life, and making him an ob
ject of wonder aa to whether or not
they would ever come together again.
But there was little chance of that.
We had met Mr. Thornton elsewhere,
hut he fisd nmr come scrriuu our
threshold since the day he went out
with his bride's ring. And Aunt Helen's
peculiarity waa that she never forgot.
Could she, then, forget the words he
sKke to her In his anger? Could she
ever forget his marrying another wo
man In less than a week? It had been
in that week and a few'followlng that
her hair had turned white. She had
suffered Inexpressibly ; she had not
slept a night but she kept up a gny
face. Perhaps she would have suf
fered If It had not been for our grow
ing up about her. Her life was thus
filled, every minute of It; she had but
very little time to be lonely, to brood or
mourn. She forgot herself In us. It
gave her a quiet happiness, and kept
her comely. And then she was too
proud; whenever the thought thrust up
Its head, she shut the lid down, as one
might say. and sat on It.
But one day after the time when
the doctor had said Harry was a hope
less cripple, and must lie on his back
the rest of bis life Aunt Helen
brought home a little basket from the
county fair, and took from the wool
within It two of the cunnlngcst mites
of chickens you ever laid eyes on.
"I hate them," said ahe; "they make
me crawl; but they will amuse the
dear child. They're African."
And so they did amuse him and de
light him, as he lay on hla lounge In
the bay window and watched them
growing up, full of business. And that
was the way, by the way, that we
came to have chickens round the front
piazza. One night, a year after, when
the bantams were quite grown people,
somebody dropped over the fence a
pair of big black Cochins, that stalked
about as If the eartn waa too good
to tread on, or as If they were afraid
of crushing a bantam with the next
step. Of course we knew where -e
Cochins came from for nobody elae
lu town bad any but no one aatj a
word. Only It waa sport tbe neJt&diy
to peer round the corner and see Aunt
Helen, with a piece of bread In ber
band, in doubt whether to have any
thing to do with those fowls or not,
twice . extending her hand with the
crumbs and snatching it back again,
and at last making one bold effort,
and throwing the whole thing at them,
and hurrying Into the bouse. But from
that moment the ever-hungry Cochin
seemed to regard her as their patron
salut She never appeared but they
came stalking gingerly along to meet
her, and at last one made so bold a
to fly up and perch on the back of her
chair, on tbe piazza. Of course he was
shooed off with vigor with a little
more vigor perhaps because Mr. Thorn
ton had at that moment been passing,
and had" seen this woman who would
never keep hens presenting tbe tab
leau. It was two or three days after that,
that Aunt Helen, coming home at twi
light from one of her rambles by the
river bank, was observed to be very
nervous and flushed, and to look much
a if she bad been crying.
"It's all right," said our Ned, com
ing In shortly after her. "I know all
about It. I've been setting my eel
traps; and what do you think she met
old Thornton "
"Ned!"
"She did, Indeed. And what'll you
say to that man's cheek? He up and
spoke to her."
"Oh, now, Ned! Before you!"
"Fact! Before me? No, Indeed; I
lay low," said Ned, with a chuckle.
"Hut bless you, they wouldn't have
seen me If I had stood high."
"For shame, Ned! Oh, how could
you and Aunt Helen!"
"Guess you'd have been no better In
my place," said the unscruplou boy.
"But there, that'a all. If I could listen,
orcourse you can't"
"Oh, now, Ned, please!" we all chor
used together.
: "Well, then. Ue stood straight be
fore ber, 'Helen,' aald he, 'have you
forgottatf me?' and slie began to turn
whit. 'I bare had time enough,' said
she.
"Oh, joo ought not to have stayed,
Ned!"
"You may find out the rest by your
learning,!' aald tbe offended narrator,
"I should like to know bow I was go
ing to leave. Only I'll say this, thst If
Aunt Helen would msrry old Thornton
to-day abe wouldn't touch him with a
walking-stick !"
To oar amazement on the very next
afternoon who should appear at our
gate, with bis phaeton and pair, but
Mr. Thornton; and who, bonneted, and
gloved, aud veiled, should issue from
the door, to be placed in that phaeton
aud drive off with him. but Aunt
Helen! Ned chuckled; but the rest of
ua could do nothing but wonder.
Ha abe gone to be married?" we
gasped. Aud Lill and Harry began to
cry.
"Well, I'll tell you," aald Ned. la
mercy. "He said there'd never been a
day since b left her that he hadn't
longed for what be threw a way P
"Oh. how wicked!"
"8b told him ao, very quietly and
severely 1 tell you Aunt Helen can be
severe and to be silent on that 'For
ever? said be. 'And ever,' said abe.
'It la Impossible,' said be. And then he
went over, one by one, a dozen differ
ent days snd scene when they were
young; and If ever a fellow felt mean,
I waa the one."
"I thould think you would," we cried
with one accord.
"Now look here," returned Ned. "If
yeu want to bear the rest you keep
that Bort of remark to yourself. It was
too late to show myself, snywsy. And
I'll be blamed If I'll say another word
if you don't every one acknowledge
you'd have done Just aa I did."
"Oh, Ned, do tell the whole. That'a
a good boy."
"Well, she Just began to cry I
never saw Aunt Helen cry before. And
then It seemed as If she would go dis
tracted; "nd he begged her not to cry.
and she cried the more; and he begged
her to marry him out of hand I know
Just how to do It now; only It doesn't
seem to be a very successful wny
and she shook her bead; and he im
plored her, by their old love, he said,
and be wiped her eyes, and she looked
at hUu, and gave a laugh a hateful
sort of laugh.
" 'Then,' aald be, 'If you will not for
my sake, not for your own sake, then
for the sake of the motherless children,
who need you more than ever children
needed a mother yet, and who who
are driving me crazy!' And then Aunt
Helen laughed In earnest, a good,
sweet, ringing peel; and tbe long and
short of It Is that she has driven up to
the Thornton bouse to-day to look at
the cubs and see what she thinks about
thern. Maybe she'll bring them down
here she's great on missionary work,
you know."
"Well, I declare!" was the final
chorus. And we sat in silence a good
half hour; and by the time our tongues
were running again Aunt Helen had
returned, and Mr. Thornton had come
In with her and sat down upon tbe
piazza step at her feet, but not at all
with the air of an accepted lover
much more like a tenant of Mohamet's
coffln, we thought And, as I began to
tell you, we were all sitting and swing
ing there when Aunt Helen exclaimed
about Ita being a scene of domestic
comfort As she sat down the big
black Cochin hen came to meet her.
and Aunt Helen threw her a bit of
water-cracker, a supply of which she
alwaya carried about her nowadaya.
"Why, where' your husband?" said
she t the hen.
''There he !," said Ned. "He'a been
up alone In that corner of the grass
f the whole day, calling and clucking
and Inviting company; but the reat
haven't paid tbe least attention to him,
and are picking and scratching down
about the cannaa."
"Oh, but he'a been down there twice,
Ned," cried Harry, "and tried to whip
the little bantam, but it wa a drawn
battle."
"Well, he ought to have a little va
cation, and scratch for awhile," said
Aunt Helen. "He baa picked and
scratched for hla hen and her family
all summer."
"And bo's the banty," said Ned. "The
bantam's tbe beet; he's taken as much
care of the chickens as the hen has,
any way; and he never went to roost
once all the time bis hen was setting,
Mr. Thornton, but sat right down in
the straw beside her every night."
"A model spouse," said Aunt Helen.
"They are almost human," said Mr.
Thornton. And so we sat talking till
the tea-bell rang, for Mr. Thornton was
going to stay to tea, he boldly told us;
and we saw that he meant to get all the
young people on his side by the way he
began to talk to Ned about trout and
pickerel, and about deep-sea fishing;
but when he got to eel-traps, Ned's
face was purple, and be blessed that
tea-bell, I fancy. However, Mr. Thorn
ton might have found that It wasn't so
easy to range the young people on his
side, If he bad made a long-coutlnued
effort. We enjoyed a romance under
our eye, but we had no sort of notion
of his taking our Aunt Helen away.
We were Just coming out from tea,
and were patronizing the sunset a lit
tle, which was uncommonly flue, and
I thought I never seen Aunt Helen
looking like such a beauty, with the
rich light overlaying her like a rosy
bloom, when John came hastening up.
"I Just want you all to step Inside
the barn door with me If you please,
marm," aald he. And we went after
him to be greeted by the sweet smell
of new-mown bay, and to be glided by
the one great broad sunbeam swim
ming full of a glory of motes from
door to door. "Do you see that?" said
John. - It waa a flock of the bens and
chtckena on tbelr accustomed roosts.
"And now do you see that?" be said;
and bt turned about and shewed us,
on the top rail of tbe pony's manger,
tbe big, black Cochin also gone to
roost, but separately and his wife be
side him? No, but little Mm. BaD-taml
"That'a who he'a been clucking and:
calling to thla whole afternoon, 'tbW
wretch !" cried Ned. '
"Aud now look here," said John; aud
we followed him into the harness room,;
where the chicken had chanced to be"
hatched, and there, in the straw on the;
floor, sat the disconsolate little ban-l
tarn rooster, all alone, with hia wings,'
spread and his feathers puffed out'
brooding his four little chickens under)
hia wings the four little chickens de--serted
by their mother.
"I declare! I declare" cried Aunt
Helen, as we came out Into the great'
motey sunbeam again; "the times are
so depraved that It baa really reached
the barnyard. The poor little banty
and his brood! Why, it's as bad as a
forsaken merman!"
"Only not so poetical," said we.
"Helen." aald Mr. Thornton, "It's ex
actly my condition. Are you going to'
have pity for that bird, and none for.
me? Are you going to leave me to my.
fate?" And in a moment, right before
ua all, aa abe stood In that great retf
sunbeam. Mr. Thornton put his arms
round Aunt Helen, who, growing
rosier and rosier, either from tbe aun-!
beam or something else, could do noth
ing st lsst but hide her face. "Helen,"
he said, "you are certainly coming
home with me?" And Aunt Helen did'
not say no. Waverley Magazine.
GEOMETRY EXCITES THEM.
Explanation of Quarrelsome Couple on
Trolley Car.
"Do you see those two?" said the)
conductor of the suburban trolley car
to a man on the back platform, "that
man and women In there who are
pawing so?" 1
The man answered that he did. Hej
might ue said that he had beeaj
watching them for the last tnieen mln'j
ilAd anil tmd hAt,n u-nudprinar whether
they were sister and brother or man!
and wife, and whether they were can-j
dictates for the divorce court or were)
In a dispute over their parents' will. '
"They go on that way every time;
they come to town," the conductor con4
tinued, "and they don't seem to carel
whether people got onto them or noti
It used to bother me for a time.
"Other folks would come out to me
and ask who the quarreling coupit
were, and I couldn't tell them. Once
an old man declared that they were
crazy and Insisted that I should put,
them off the car, aa ho couldn't read
his newspaper In peace." '
All this time the man and the worn-;
an were deep In their argument. The
man held a visiting card in one hand,
and on the buck of it had written or
druwn something.
The man on the back platform wltix
the conductor craned his neck and
managed to see that the markings onj
the card were mostly straight lines
and he came to the conclusion thai
they were brother and sister after all
and that the lines represented thsj
boundary lines of some property thej
were quarreling over.
But the conductor, who had been up
the car collecting fare, now returned)
and explained the mystery. The cou
ple were man and wife. The man 11
an Instructor In geometry In a large
private school, and he baa a wide rep
utatlon In his specialty.
His wife, however, Is quite a goooj
at geometry as ue, uu wun,m
go their chief topic of conversation M
the hobby of both geometry. Tia
lines on the card described some geo
metrical problem, and Uie discussion
was over the best way to solve It
"Thev ro on awful sometimes," thai
conductor explained. "They get ao ex
cited over their hypothenusea and an
gle and auch tht they forget where
they are going, and If I don't happen
to know where they want to get ofll
they will sometimes go half a dosea
blocks by."
Perfectly Natural.
"Well, and how does my son get
on?"
"He Is one of the best students at
school, sir," replied the teacher. "I
have no complaints to make on that
score.
"That wa the way with me when
I went to schooL I'm glad he Is tak
ing after his father."
"But he Is very unruly at times, Mr,
Hardcastle, and frequently has to be
reprimanded for fighting."
"WTell, I suppose it is natural that
he should have some of his mother'i
striking characteristics."
The Plodder Wins.
I have often met the fellow
(So have you!)
Who proclaimed In accents mellow
What to do.
But whene'er we sought assistance
In a task that took persistence
He'd forgotten our existence
Sad, but true!
Many preach who never practice.
' As of old,
And tbe unpoetic fact is
We were "sold."
Just dispense with airy graces;
Iu success as other races
'Tis the plodder gets the places
And the gold!
New York PreBS.
A Negro and Kngllsh.
You are almost an octogenarian,
sab," said the semi-educated, young;
yellow negro, pompously.
"Wha-what'a dat yo' says?" snapped
the venerable but unlettered darkey.
"I specified, sab, that you are almost
an octogenarian."
"Well, don' yo' do it ag'n, boy, of
I'll done bust yo' head wld my stick-
yo' beads my prognostlflcatlon?"
A woman wbo was lately divorced
la quoted as saying: "There are to
many men In tbe world to be unhappy
with one of them."
Ever remark bow timidly and
tatlngly a bald-headed man takes off
hla bat?