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About Harrison press-journal. (Harrison, Nebraska) 1899-1905 | View Entire Issue (June 2, 1904)
OUR BUDGET OF FUN. HUMOtlOUS SAYINGS AND INGS HERE AND THERE. DO- Jaaea a ad Jokeleta tkat Arc aBoaa4 I Hac Brca Kecentlj Born Kyi. 4 Ioia thai Arc Old, Carious mm Laacaablr-Tac Wetk'a Bnaur. Khe My uew gown 1 Jut hvely; It's a ixrfwt tit. He-Hstlsned on that point, eh? " rbe Yn, 1 know lt' a gxd lit be 411 liar It plucbea iue He Well. It doesn't piiicli you half much a It doe my ixx-ketbouk. Philadelphia !'re. feamc Thing. He' a employed by tbe railroad com pany now. I understand." "Vt, be ban ctiH rji of the luir.zlc de ,iirtinent." 'The what?" "He make out the time tiililea." Philadelphia l'reiw. Ju.t lirfnre tbc liattlr. "Thla bread Isn't fit for a dog to tai." growled the litlMlmnd. 'Very well, my dear." replied wife, "don't ent It. then." Awful. his Mr. KnM.v -Wliat H ail tliHt iioIm' Mr. Kriisty- Kaly In practicing 'The First Step In .Music." Mr. Kruty Tell her to take the llepa in her storking feet. 1'refcrencr. "We never iret nreciHelv what we waul In this life." wit 11 (he philosopher. "T!l;:!'ii right." niihwered th" rj tile. a lot of Iiiu'iim through 1lo- country Ire getting Winnie when 1 1 icy would father have the i-Hh." - Washington rH:ir. A lira loo k. Mr. IloiiM-ki-ep llellii, I don I want foil P he entertaining thill pollet n in u in the kitchen any more. Delia -Hill Miss Killth is In the pur mr iiiost of I lie toiini' uin'iini. iin i loii't think Mr. oTIyiiu would enj'y tier wielety. her lieiu' Htrimg'- to him riiii.iih-ipiiiM i'iiks. Well Timed. "Thai whs a great to-nnmi you fireachisl llns iiio'ninif." mill tbu old fleaciii, "it li I II was well timed, too." "Yes." rejoined the parson, with deep sigh; "I noticed that." "Noticed wliiit?" nsked the puzzled fle.lcoli. "Tbat several of the congregation looked lit Iheir wnlehea frequently tnswercd the good man. with another deep sigh. Nut True to l.lfc. Mifkiim -hid you rend that thrilling detective stoiv In the current iiumlier if l.hink magazine? IJIfkliiH-Yes; but II isn't feallstle. Mifklns - Why Isn't II? Hlfklu-- I'.i-ciiUHe the detective f Iowa a clew anil actually eatchc the real criminal. Still Free. Miss (iiiusslp I understand that you ire as good an married to Minn Hox k-y. .Mr. Hiichelor Just an good and even Mter. I'm not going to he married to iiiybody. rbiladclphla 1'resn. He'd liecn There. "Whiit'n the beat thing you can get in Russia?" "A ticket for the United States." Why He Rejoiced. "You evidently enjoyed tbe sermon flila morning," said Mrs. Knpeek to the sther third of the combine, uinm bin return from church with a self-aalls-Oed smile on his countenance. "You Just bet I did," replied Enpeek. The minister's remarks were exceed ingly edifying." "What were tbey about?" she asked. "About there being no marrying or g-lvlng In marriage In heaven," on iwored tho meek and lowly man wltli s large-slued chuckle. Real Katata Item. "Did It ever occur to you?" asked the man who begins his questions at the wrong end. "Did what ever occur to me?" queried the party of tbe other pah. "That a front foot of Chicago real Mtstu Is worth mors than a back yard?" continued the originator of the trouble. No Aapaai. "If your wife treats you so shame fully," said Henpeck's friend, "wby lon't you get divorce from her?" "I did want to," replied lienpeck, 'but she said Do,' and, of coarse, that isttlod It" PhlladelphU Pratt. Fore of Habit. Khe' what 1 mil a bargain i-oufcter arcjuulnUuie." kaui the floorwalker a be tlpiM-l liia bat gravely to the girl that went by. "Wby'a that?" queried bla t-om-ju i) ion. "Well, IjecaUM-. At tlrst, J'ou are. we were great friend. Went every, where together note and flower all the tltur. aud ail tkat you know. Hut after a while thing begau to change. We didn't see niiHQ of e-h oilier, and the noU-a were fewer and the flower le. Now I dou't even get a plea Mint look h hen I m by nothing but an ld nod. Ho you ee there In only a remnant left of tue old -qulntauce aud that la wby 1 have relegated it to the bargain counter." Detroit Free Pre. A Indicated. Fond Mother 1 think little Harold a going to lie a poet. Aunt May Why. baa be written anything .' Fond Mother No. but be sometime goe for two or lliree iay eating wan-ely anything. Komewbat Otlfereat. Jack So she gave you the marble. heart, did she? Toui 'o, she didn't happen to hav heart of that kind. Jack What kind Is It? Tom - Asphalt. I think; hard In win ter ami toft lu summer. It All Depend.. F.ggliert-I e Katitcr Is playing fane called "Hamlet " one of Hhak speare'a, you know. Hiiuiand-Mc dear boy, sucli ignor auce is unpardoiialile. llamlet Isn a farce. Kggbert 111. yea. II la -the way lie Hauler piny. It. Keul l.nkind. "My words don't sis-m to have much weight," protested the young wife dur lug an argument at the breakfast ta hie. "Never mind, my dear," rejoined tin brutal other half, "your biscuit mori) I lui n imike up for the shortage." Rather lerorial. "Cln-e," remarked the boarder who hud been delving In ancient mythology "turned men Into hogs." "She must have oivrnted a street cur line," said the typewriter maid who luii been hanging to a strap a! the way home. Wouldn't Take It Twice. "l can draw that tooth without any pain. I'll give you gaa." "So, you won't. I took gas at ther hotel last night, young feller, an' It took two doclora an' three bell boys ter bring me to." Then He Went. "No. Mr. Horein, 1 can your wife," said the girl never be with the square, chin. "Your habits are not cal culated to make an Ideal husband of you." "My habits!" he exclaimed in sur prise. "Yes," she replied, after vainly try ing to strangle a yawn as the clock chimed the midnight hour. "For ln; stance, vou stay away from home too late at night." Ill Health, for Instance. Don't he forever wishing, Don't grumble at your lot. Some things that r-ake us happy Are the things we haven't got. -Philadelphia Press. Too Hold. The purchaser of the horse rushed hack to the denier In anything but a peaceful mood. "Take back this beast," he demand ed, nt the same time brushing the mud from his hslr. 'What i the matter?" said the sur prised dealer. "Didn't I tell you this horse was not afraid of automobiles?" "That's Just the trouble. He wasn't afraid of them and ran right into every one be met." Richard Revlaed. King Klchard had Just offered kingdom for a horse. his "You are behind the times'." shouted the wit In the gallery. "Why don't you offer your kingdom for an outomo bile?" Hut Richard was not to bo caught napping. "What do I want with an automo bile?" he sneered. "I have a saw and want a horse to saw wood upon." Old, Old Story. "Men are queer animals," remarked the married woman. "For Instance?" queried tho young girl. "Well," explained the married worn an, "a rnon takes sufficient Interest In his wife's letters to open them, but not enough to mall them." A Cloao Friend. Tlngftllug Suy, Is Orasnlt a close friend of yours? Bobalong That's what. When 1 tried to touch hlin for $10 the other (lav I found hlin as close as a combl nation lock, The Worat of It. "Life Is full of trials," said the mel ancholy cltlsen. "Yes," answered Mr. Grafton drabb, "and the worst of It Is that a whole lot of tbe trials are resulting In convic tions." Washington Star. MAY CAUSE A STORM OKK KAU1CAL ACTIOS .". ur rum. rMiHiLn ii. tawrt ta Abolish Kaatiaaay a aea lar AH TIM A ll-l !! tiaraaaat Hiny Prr H( U Cat PA RIS.-Tbe counsel of miDlsteri las rooaklered tbe tikicAU cootro ier, and lo an official note, uyt:- "Tin government is utiatied witb tbe autbenclcUy of the repotiea irotett tent by tbe vaticao to tbe xer and therefore decided lo re- all M. Nlsard, leiog routine, bual- ies In tbe bod of the third secre- arjr of tbe vaticin embassy. Tbe zoneroineot baa decided to tuny pre sent the Vatican controversy, culmi nating" tba recall of M. Nisard. to tbe chamber of deputies Friday. A violent debate is espected and the government is pieparlntf Itsen tor mote radical action than that here tofore, taken, since It is anticipated that an effort will be made to atadlsh the French ebniassy lo the holy sea Foreign Minister Dclcasse will pre-, sent tbe diplomatic netfotuuoni wilh the Vatican, aod Premier Combs will set, forth tho attitude and Intentions of tbe government. The utttclals emress tbe belief that I be embassy will not be suppressed, but thev say the present feeling may lead to that result when the propriatloo for sustaining the embassy comes before the chamber a month hence at hlcb time the budget for foreign affairs will lie considered. But. some parliamentary elements are seekinu the immediate consideiaton of tin matter, with the view of :il. iiishinn the embassy. Tbe (ifliclals here do not credit the rerant circulated by the Tiibunant ll'ime that King Alfonso has Inde nitcly postponed his pn posed visit to I'lesldent Lnubctin order to avoid friction with the pope. Members of the diplomatic roips say it Is definitely settled ihat th piotrst to which France took excep tion was addressed by the vntlcan to Spain. This was the only prowsi containing the clause ini i.natinn thai, tbe papal would be withdrawn if .,ihr and lmlUr visits weie made, to King Victor Kmmaniie Agree To Divide Estate UES MOINES. Three women, each claiming to he the le.gunj wedded wife of Contractor Du Molse, who died last week, met in a ics taurant today, talkod the situatioi over and mutually agieeu upon i division, of tbe estate. Simon Cas sady, a prominent hanker, is agreed upon as administrator of the estate, which Is valued at til. 000. Mrs Du Boise, No. 1. as she is dlstln gulshed from the ethers was living with Du Holse at the time of hi death. Mrs. Du Holse No. 2 comci from New Orleans and Mrs. Du Hoist No. 3 comes from Denver. Tbey incl here to attend the funeral of the! " husband. " Threatens Police Captain NEW YORK. Threats of bodily barm to a police captain who tool part In the general pool room raldi yesterday In th; event of continue!) surveillance in the manner in which It has been conducted, were made bj an attorney in open court lodaj when some of the raid prisoners were arraigned. Lawyer Stephen O'Hara, who represented three mei attest In the raid on an alleged p'OI roome don East, Thirty-second st.iee attacked Police Captain Shire when his clients were arranged in tin Yorkshire police court. He charged that the captlan has unlawful raided the place at various lin es. "I warn the captain now" said Lawver OMIara. "that If he ever goes there again he will be shot.'1 Captain Shire then made a formal comnlalnt against the men, and the hoirlntr was adiourned until to- . morrow. Drowned in Tank of Oil PORT ARTHUR. Tex. llllam Richard of New York city, and Kred Trahm of Guerdan, La., were, acci dentally drowned In a tank of oil at the Gulf Redoing company's plant today. Richard who was working on one of the altators, became dlwy anq toppled over. He succeeded in clutching a small pipe Hnrt swinging to It. Trahim witnessed mo acoi dent and went to Richard's assist anee but the gas overcome him an i,o rdl Into the tank. Richard was soon rendered unconscious and drop ned in. - Sends Him Into Exile CONSTANTINOPLE. Kemal i Pasbi the sultan son-in-law, ana other higher officials nave necn ar rested and sent into exile in conse- ijuenceof the discovery of secret cotre SDondencs rctweeo Kemai rasna xnnet or roaa oea was wasnea oui. ' ... . all a i . j r- l and Princess KbaOldie, daugnter oi th. imnrUoned ex-sultan. Murad. w,,v . r- - Kemai rasna, wu . ' "! late Osman Ghaxl Paaba, la a general in the Turkish army aod aioe-ae WORST OF WAR klNOLINAKT BtlTLE KKPOBtBO AT POST AKTUIK. OUTCOME IS NOT KNOWN: ILT HKIBrSMT StBPOKTS ST. PKTKBSMVBO. BKACb lallBf rare (tela to B Kepulaad I Ilk Laaa Uf Plftaaa Ibaaaaad la Paar Th aaad Kaaalaaa. s id that Foreign Minister Lamsdor has received a message from tbe; (lusslan consul at Cbe Foo saying that the Japanese made a lanJ at-. tick on Port Arthur and that Iff (ioing so tbey lost fifteen thousand killed aod wounded. The Bussiarij I ss is placed at tbiee thousand mm. Toe estimate outcome of the light ing Is not stated. According to reports which hare re., died the Russians beadnuarters at Llao Yang, from Chlnrse sources, tbe J panes,; have made a land at tack on Port Arthur, hot have been repulsed with heavy lOiSes. Tbe .t.tutli of the ;cports U quest! ,ned bete. The report that test Admiral .lessen, fii,dii It Impossible to save (he protected cruiser toi':ityr, which went aslioiu r, ct-utiy in a fog on the rocks off Vladivostok caused her to l.e bio n up, U confirmed. The guns of the Uogatyr were re moved before she was destroyed. No lois of life attended ber destruc tion. ST. PETESRBUllff. Altb mgh the removal of duties on goods Im ported at all the Asiatic ports ol Russia has been ad pied as a war measure, to attract the importation of food stuffs and leave the Siberian railroad free during the war, n sprcilic date or limit Is placed upoo its operation. . The following dispatch, dated May 22, from General Kuropatkln, bus been received by Emperor Nicholas: "All is quiet In tbe direction ot the Fin Chou Ling mountains, 'it is reported from Slu Ven thai on May 21 a Japanese force, con sisting altogether of about ooe regi ment of infantry and two reglmcnti of cavalry of tbe guard of tbe line were observed moving on tbe broae front ftom Habalin towards Salilzai putz. 'During tbe nlgbt of May 20-21 one of our sotnias, returning iron Taku Shan to Loua Mlao and, KboDdou Kan, discovered a detach merit ot Japanese Infantry bivouac- ing at Sltkhoutcbiudza, ten mllti north west of Taku Shan. Tin Japanese opened fire on our troops. "There Is no change la tbeir situ atloo along the shores of tbe Llai Tung peqlnsula. One Bishop Short LOS ANGELES. Cal.-Tbe Metho dist general conference at tbe open ing of Its fouilh and last week labor found itself confronted witb i duty almost unprecedented in tlif history of the Methodist church tbat of acting upon tbe resignatiot of one of its bishops elect, Rev. Tames R. Day, chancellor of tb Syracuse university, who on las Saturday was chosen as tbe last ol the eight bishops elected by tbi present conference, resigned bli place in tbe episcopal board and wa 'excused at bis request, from furthei attendance upon tbe conference Detectives Shadow Burt OMAHA, Nebr. Uorace G. Burt, former president of tbe Union Paci fic railway, who has been travellni) n tbe orient has written a friend in tWs city tbat he was followed bj Japanese detectives until It becamt so Irksome that be was forced t appeal to a United States consul foi relief. Shortly after bis arrival li Japan tbe newspapers all over thi empire published an article to the effect that Mr. Burt was about U be placed In control of tbe Trans- Siberian railway. He was at 3nc placed under espionage, and detec lives followed blm from place ta place until he was forced to appeal to an American consul. Tbe consul secured a retraction by tbe press ol I ha atnra that. had -JlHfid th I irouoie. I n. . V . , I riooa L.oas in Wyoming CHEYENNE, Wyo.-Losses result 1 log from tbe floods of Friday ami 1 o ail i f-1 i ill i osiuroay win reaou uau a mnnoo - i uuuats. inuturii auu iiunwui wen the heaviest losers, although tb loss on city property Is heavy. Fout pna six oriagei overcrow oree ia tblt city ware carried away. The 1 LnJiu tk.ikua.klU... Atf ci,yton who lost their Uvea In thf , D recoT,reo. seven people killed UOZBM OTHfcK kKKIOtLT BCBT IS rACTOBT VXrLOalOM Aeelaaat at flaUjr, Okie, Ratalta la Laaa of LUt, Iajary to Star a ad f raaany FINDLAT, O.-As a result of to explosion in tbe two drying room of tbe Lake Shore novelty company's plaot bere today, seven persons are known tone dead; five are so ser iously hurt tbat recovery it believed to be Impossible and twelve or tifteea art. Injured badly. From reports of tbe physicians ten of tbe less ter loualy Injured may die as a result of blood .ooisloning from tbe potash tbat was driven Into tbeir bodies. Tbe Lake Shore owelty works plant covered nearly ten acres of ground in tbe southwest part of tbe city and employed nearly two hundred men, women and children. Railroad torpedoes aod Fourth of July explosives were auacufastured. Owing' to tbe large rush of orders tbe officials of tbe plant requested tbe employes to report for duty today. About thirty complied witb tbe re quest. This morning the residents of Flodlay were startled by two ex poslons tbat shattered windows throughout tbetlty. The coocussior. was felt for miles around, two magazines In separate rooms at tbe novelty works let go simultaneously witb terrible repots. Tbe exact cause of tbe explosion is not, definitely known. Tbe explosion iccurred shortly be fore tbe employes assembled for duty. At least twenty persons were on tbeir way to tbe factory when tbe explosion occurred. Human forms wera strewn con siderable distances apart on the factory site. Tbe remains of tbe Sherwood brothers were found In drying room No. 1. mangled and almost unrecognizable. Tbe body of Editb Dillon was picked up 200 yards from where tb explosion occurred. ' . Tbe news of tbe catastrophe spread like wild-fire tbrougbgout tbe coun try. Every train and lnterurban cai tbat has arrived in tbe city, for the past ten hours was crowded. Tbe large plant is shattered Into frag ments, not one single wall remain-. Ing. Bricks and timbers can be found for a great distance around. One Taak Finished ANGELES, Cal.-When tht LOI Methodist general conference finished its third week's labors at neon today and adjourned until next Mondaj. It bad elected eight blsbops, tbe number recommended by tbe episco pacy committee, and dlsprsed of the majority of tbe subjects tbat bava come up for consideration. Ten days more remain in wbicb to complete its business. Subjects yet to ba passed upon are the election of fout additional missionary blsbops, tbe election of general conference officers for tbe next qnadriennium and action upon Important problems ol denominational and general interst as follows: Amusement, divorce, consolidation of tbebook concerns, termperance, relation of capital aud labor, and polygamy. Hit By a Shell LONDON. A dispatch from Sc. Petersburg to Reuters Telegram com nany says that the report of a sortie by tbe Port Arthur garrison ba Vior. been confirmed. It appears, says tbe dispatch, ta have originated in tbe receipts o Lieutenant General Stoessel's report of tbe fight at Kin Cbau, this, to, getber witb tbe fact that General Stoessel commands at Port Arthur, giving rise to tbe rumor tbat thi, garrison bas made a sortie. TOKIO. A supplemental report was received bere today covering tbe opposition encountered by tbq Japanese force wbicb landed at Taki uhshal, about fifty miles west of tba Yalu, on May 20. Tbe Russians consisted of a squad ron of the independent trans-llaika) Cossacks. Tbey vigorously resisted tbe Japanese advance at a brldgi and only retreated after one officei aod nine men were killed and a num ber of men were wounded One Ru Ian officer and four men weie cap tured. Tbe Japanese lost one nw killed. Tbe Russians retired lo tin direction of Hslu Yen and -ballchal Flood toss Mounts High. CnEYENNE Wyo. Only tw lives were lost In the flood wtalcl wept thru gb West and South Chey. one last night, tbe victims being the Clayton boys, 'our and two yean of age respectively Others who wert missing weie round toaa;. mncr men living along Craw creek repot tbot nr.D e of their famlllia waa lost but tbeir property was damaged t the extent of thousands of dollar The amount of damage dune la eati Bated it 160.000. NEBRASKA NOTES Tekamab waa visited by frost, kkt no baim is done to fruit. Mis. Mont Strelgbt died at Plattsououtb. She lea vet a buswan4 and a 3 weeks old aaa. Charles Ernie and Mist CtatK Clincbonse were BiarrM at Liaootet Tbey will live In Beatrice William Claua, aged 76 yean, dl at Plaitamoutb. He leaves a wlfa four tons and one daughter. Tbe Sheldon farm, located w tween Liberty and Barneaton, wat sold at referee's sale for 40 per acra Dr. McCoouell left for Pennayl vanls, where ba goes to accept i position as pbyiaciaa for a nfoini company. Tbe Nortb-weatern Business collegi cadeta of Beatrice held an eocamp ment at DeWItt in conjunction witl tba Crete High School cadeta. G. E. Malm is in Jail at Beatrlci charged witb tbe tbeft Df a pocket book from Black Bros.' mill, com talnlng a small amount of money. Mrs. Anna Kroebler died at Piatt mouth having just returned frora Oklahoma, where abe bad beeo fat some time in tbe bope of improving ber health. Contrary to trat expectation Jack Monroe of North Platte wbt attempted suicide, at reported, improving aod tbe physicians not express tbe oplonion tbat. Je wil recover. In police court Judge Weber Hoes Hattle Markings 130 an costs fat selling liquor wltbout a license, Ida Giltner and Margaret Saofor4 were each fined 12 and coats for betB inmates of tbe bouse. A week's mission is now being held at Holy Rosary cnurcb Id Alli ance, tbe Right Rev. Bishop Keen of tbe Cheyenne diocese conductina, tbe meeting. He is being assisted by four prominent prests ( While cutting meat Carl Falk, I butcher at Columbus, accldeotl struck bis band, &'nuost severing tb thumb and ball of the light baodj He tried to catch a knife wblcb was, iaiiing irom me diock. i Tbe library board of Falls Cit appointed committee to coiifer witl the city council regarding a direct tax for the support of tbe library, The card receipts amount to 1201 iper year, it la tnougni toe counci will take favorable action. i J Tbe town board of Springfield baj granted saloon licenses to the saloons of that place. A writ of mac damn has been secured from Judge Suttee of tbe district court ordering thi Tillage of Sprlnfield to appear be for, tbe court and show cause wby tat licenses have not been revoked. James Jensen, a well known mens ber of tbe Danish colony at Weal Point, died at the age of 59 yeara An Inquest waa held on account a Jeasen nsvlng bad a fig bt, with i fellow workman several weeks aga Tbe coroner's Jury decided that ttM deceased came to his death fraa causes unknown to the Jury. 1 Luella Brown of Omaha bat Me4 a petition for a divorce from ho busband, Robert 1). Brown, on thi ground of cruelty, In wblcb tbe spa clfically alleges tbat on one occaaiot Mr. Brown attacked her with I knife aud cut her ear. Tbe peti tioner asks tbat ber maiden navi of Laird be restored to ber. Tbe new High school building at Tecumseh is to be completed bj October 15. Tbe contractor, B. M Attreberry, according to tbe agree ment if to pay tbe school board tV for each day be is delayed after thi specified time, aud he is to reclev 110 extra foi eacb day be saves of thi specified time In completing tht building. Lysle Gregory, tbe Denver office) who was murdered was formerly I resident of Saunders county am quite well known in Fremoot. Hi bad many friends and stood excep tionally well In tbe community His parents visited friends bere I few weeks ago, and on account a the condition of affairs In Cfloraoi i-;t very anxious about tbeir son Frank Rowe, a man of 35 yeara o ige, was arraigned before Counoj fudge Lr.uis Dewald on tbe charge of itatutory assault on tbe person ot Ibe 13-ycar-old daughter of Fret tggert, a farmer living tbree mlla last of tbe city. Tbe defendant i fie red no defense and wat bount iver to te district oourt. Bona was placed at 11,000, wblcb tnt prisoner was unable to furnish. Tbe Jury In the caae against Carl imitn oi uoiumous returned a ver Hot of guilty after being out lata .ban an hour. Smith waa convicted if stealing a team and buggy belong ng to F. J. 8elnee on March It He was arretted about a moDlfe ater at Exeter, Nebr. Had be beta icqultted be would bare bean il ' mce arrested by tbe therlff of Gray Iry county, tieutb Dakota, wbt yanted Snltb on a taora terlMt barge. ' camp to tba sultan. . .
