Harrison press-journal. (Harrison, Nebraska) 1899-1905, May 14, 1903, Image 2

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

    lb fianisci Prc&Joirul
d wrmu, rioruaros
EASMUOH,
XMRASKA
Hampshire refuses to be ruled
Wf th women.
It is the unexpected that happens
when you're most anxious to have it.
We now know why it rains so often
on March 17. St Patrick was a Bap
tist
What the boys seem to need most is
to Join a union that prohibits members
from sleeping overtime.
There Is no advantage In being so
all-tremendous rich that you have to
hire a man to eat for you.
One of the bitterest evils of the re
cent coal famine has been the flood of
newspaper jokes on tbe subject
An eccentric man Is one who praises
his neighbors but he is never consid
ered so by the aforesaid neighbors.
A man can be happy with a tooth
brush and a pipe; his unhapplness be
gins when he adds a valet and an auto
mobile. A Berlin court has ruled against
Emperor William. Wait till some sol
dier gets a chance to press that Judge
Into a duel.
No more ocean giant will be built,
It Is said, until there are larger ports
to accommodate them. By and by the
ocean will need enlarging.
Helen Gould receives 1,300 letters
every day. When a girl gets them that
way she probably doesn't spend much
time sitting at the window watchiu
tor the postman.
A Chicago professor says that peo
ple who work at a business that
shakes them up a good deal live longer
than those who occupy smoother
places. Now will you beat the car
pets? ' Anent Dr. Alfred Russell Wallace's
theory that the earth is the center
of the universe, it may be conceded
that it Is so far as we are concerned,
anyway. What the people ' of other
planets think about it is for them to
decide.
' Hetty .Green is at least honest in her
tax-dodging. SHe frankly admits' that
be is without a home or a residence
simply to avoid paying persona taxes.
And yet what a row she would make
If the laws of the land failed to pro
tect her and her property.
An ex-tramp has become a member
of parliament, and the fact has been
cabled to this country regardless of
expense as something extraordinary.
But when an ex-member of parliament
becomes a tramp notuing is said about
It The occurrence probably lacks the
element of novelty.
Abram S. Hewitt a poor man's son,
was brought up, as he himself ex
pressed it "to reverence God and to
give an equivalent," and, thanks to
these old-fashioned virtues, he made
a good beginning and ended well. Men
who try to achieve prosperity by get
ting the better of other people gen
erally become the victims of them
selves in the long" "runt
No freight except live stock and per
ishable goods is to be moved on Sun
day, according to the new rule of the
Chicago dc Northwestern Railroad, and
thousands of railroad men will have
their Sundays at home for the first
time since they entered the service. It
Is worth noting that the management
of the road expresses the belief that
the rest will enable the men to move
aa much freight in six days as they
bav been moving in seven.
"If you cannot come to the mission
ary meeting," suggested a city minis
ter, "suppose yon drop into your mite
box the amount you would probably
spend if you came your car fare, the
cost of your lunch and your contribu
tion to the collection and so make
rare of not missing all the good of the
dayr The suggestion only Implied
a great truth, but Gen. Booth of the
Salvation army affirms it when be
says, "The contribution box, too, Is a
means of grktf."
A genlns baa been figuring out now
many ancestors a man has. First he
takes your father and mother that
ma ass two human balnea. Bach of
them most also havs a father and
mother that ' makes four hutaan be
ings. Each of these must bare had
father and mother and that makes
eight human beings. Bo he goes on
hack fifty -six generations, which
bring him to the time of J eons Christ
The calculation thus resulting shows
that 180.2aB17.48BM.976 births muat
have taken place In order to bring
jva Into thia world you who read
these Una. Quite a largo and respect
able family we belong to, la It not)
To be cheerful whan the world to
snaj wen wtCh yen to no grunt virtue.
The thwtf M h ne asssrrui
If
11 in to rw if rrf ir
t Cm to & tzlxX ft TtrtM e
one has ever to deny self of every
little longed-for luxury, and tbe pus
sie of bow to make one dollar do the
work for two has to be solved, then
the man who can still be cheerful is
a hero. He is a greater hero than the
soldier who faces tbe cannon's mouth.
Such cheerfulness is the kind that
we need to cultivate.
Tbe autocrats of fashion, who are
also the architects of the female form
divine, should not be allowed to banish
the "shirt wuist girl" without some1
popular protest In all the wide range
of feminine fancy and caprice in the
way of apparel nothing 'bus found such
secure and lasting lodgment in the
masculine heart as the shirt waist,
lu its capacious and fluffy mystery
it not only provides ample room for
the imagination .but it presents an
agreeable and oftlmes fascinating con
cession to the masculine Ideas of sim
plicity and utility. Hut the National
1 tretismakers' Association has decreed
that the shirt waist must go. If sub
a simple and utilitarian garment is
allowed to get a firmer grip on the
feminine mind it means "death to the
business of dressmaking." says one of
the managers of tbe dressmakers' con
vention. Just as the architects of
the feminine figure were reaping large
profits from the trailing skirts that
swept the microbes from sidewalk
along came the bicycle craze which
ushered in an era of sanity on tbe skirt
question. The rainy day skirt becatiiq
an every day skirt The dressmakers
indeed have never recovered from this
blow. The common-sense skirt is here
to stay. But can the dressmakers dis
lodge tbe shirt waist ? It is true that
not every shirt waist is a "poem" or
a "dream." After all, the girl iu the
shirt waist is the thing. Isn't it posi
sible for the dressmakers to recouii
their losses in some other way ami
spare to us the delightful reumant of
feminine individuality and imlepeui
dence known as the shirt waist girl?
Pity a poor old lady with miliiout
of dollars in real estate, railway and
bank stocks, who has not where to lay
her head who Is merely a rotator on
tbe face of the earth. This is the sad
fute of Mrs. Hetty Green, said to be
"the riches! woman in the United
Spates." . Since her husband died Mrs.
Green avers thatjihe has had no home
of her oirit It Ta true that Mr. Green
lived with the neighbors and that thctj
was some trouble over" the furniture,
which it is claimed bad been loaned to
him by a friend before his death. Bu
this does not alter the fact that si
long as he lived Mrs. Green felt thud
she had a home. Mrs. Green's home
less plight was revealed to a New Yor'J
reporter who was imprudently Ir.vad
Ing the sanctity of her sorrow by trj
ing to coax her to explain why n)ni
paid no personal taxes in that cityi
After showing that the death of hetf
husband left her homeless Mrs. Greet!
declared that she was proved a non
resjdent of New York several years
ago, and said: "I am simply rotating
between here and Chicago." Being a,
rotator not an oscillator or vibrator
Mrs. Green does not stay in one rpoi
long enough to be counted by the nx
gatherer. She simply rotates; she re-i
volves on her own axis, and hence is n
high roller. The suggestion that 1;
Pierpont Morgan, another high roller,
was also homeless, but that Jip mad'
a handsome contribution to the trea
ory of New York, had no effect upo:
Mrs. Green. Having no home, she dh
not propose to pay taxes on one. Thero
is only one course left for the assess
ors if they still hope to assess this
homeless woman. They must find out
where her laundry work is done. If.
it also rotates between New York ami
Chicago we see no chance for making
the richest woman in America pay
personal taxes.
There is something suggestive ot,
green clothes, and soft hats with roll
ing brims and feathers, and hunting
horns and romance in the title of a
modest pamphlet lately sent forth
from the government printing office.
"Report of the Forester for 1902" is
the title of It and it summarizes the
great variety of work which has been
carried on by what was formerly the
Division and is now the Bureau of
Forestry. Much of the work is the
most useful sort of specialization. The
inspection of private forest lands and
tbe devising of plans for utilizing them
most effectively Is, of course, a part
of what one would expect of a Bureau
of Forestry, Just as one expects It to
conserve the national parks and other
government timber lands. Yet tbe
work does not by any means end here.
It Includes the chemical investigation
of tanning extracts from native woods
and barks; tbe production of turpen
tine by ''orcharding," a system which
Mr. Plnchot the forester, believes
"wW radically affect the whole in
Industry"; the testing and classifica
tion of timber in regard to strength
and durability; tbe best way to stop
drifting sand by tree-planting. These
and many other special Investigations
snow tbe broad Interpretation which
the bead of tbe bureau puts upon bis
duty. No part of tbe report la more
encouraging than that which records
briefly tbe changing attitude of pri
vate owners of large forest reserves.
More and more they are coming to th
bureau for advice as to the manage,
sent of their property. Tbla tbe gor
eminent furnishes free, on condition
thai the owner pay the bare expenses
of the expedition. Every owner who
to thus put en the right track be
estnee a guide and incentive to others;
Car msBorn forestry la the manage
ant of 'woodlands for gala, adjarga
are aiwars pirsasstv preaeb-
Cat Battle hhran
EMPLOYES AND TELEPHONE.
Detroit Maaafactariaaj firm Forbid
That to I'm It.
One of the large local manufacturJni
bouses, says the Detroit Free Press,
rectntly Issued an order forbidding the
use of the telephone by employes; and
the edict, which may seem rather
severe to those unfamiliar with the
workings of such a concern, is thus
commented on by a member of a well
known firm, which has been harrassid
greatly by the telephone tete-a-tete cai
ried on during business hours and dur
ing the hours of luncheon.
"It's tiie biggest nuisance with whK-b
a busiiu s establishment was ever af
rJictid," said he. "The little telephoii
flirtatious and heart-to-heart tulks th
are sometimes conducted within ear
siwjt of a man burdened with (he can I
of business are truly exasix'nttlng,
though they might be often amusing
under different circumstances and eiV
vifoiimeut. Here is a sample:
"Young lady enters the ottice betweei
the hours of twelve and one. I
" '(."an I use the telephone?' she sa;
swiftly. "Yes? Oh, tbui'k you.' .Shi
takes d iwu the receiver.
" Il'm, she says, clearing her throat
for a protracted siege with the clcctrio
messenger of girlish confidences.
" 'Give me K'lm main,' Khe says. "N'i,
not 1-!MM). Yes, that's It. He!
loa; that you, Harry? No gone tc
dinner? No, than! you.'
"She hangs up site receiver, but iin
mediately takes it down again'.
" 'Heilo! '.'sao m.ii.i. Yes, that-!
right. (Oh, dear, they're so long answer
ing this is the worst serv M h, Is thid
you, Nell? ay. row do you fe,l? 1'ic
awful tired; but what a jolly goo
time! Yes. Harry was them Are yot
going Wednesday? Tickets $1.50. 'jus'
called up Harry, but he was out U
lunch. Well, gotd-by.'
"She hangs tip the receiver, takes i
down strain and proceeds: '(Jive an
4-3-2 main. That you, Maude?' Yes'
Say, you are all right just had mj
lunch, see you to-ulght Good-by.'
"Shi! hangs up the receiver, jurt il
time for another young lady who wauti
to call up some one on important.busl
ncss. while the boss at the other mi
of the wire is told they tine busy. Now
do you wonder at the order?"
At St. Augustine, Fla., is the oulj
mill In the world that gets its power dl
rect from an artesian well.
The oldest statue in the world ii
that of the sheik of Kgypf, which date)
back more than six thousand years.
; The number of leaves on a largt
sixty-foot high oak tree has beet
counted and found to exceed six mill
Ion.
Fifty tons is the weight and elevei
miles the effective range of a cannoj
which has just been mounted a
L'Orient. It is stated to be the Inrg
est on the French coast. .
' With the modern steel framing, l
building can with safety be carried t(
seven and a half, times the diametu
of Its base. Thus an ordinary businen
building could lie erected to a beighl
of fifteen hundred feet.
it
W. H. McGowan of t'rbana. Ohio
has one of the most unique collection
of autographs Iu the country. It con
tains the names of over twelve thou
sand actors and actresses, besides 1.7'H
pictures, and over oO.OijO programs
posters and the like.
;The antiquity of the fan in the East
particularly In Asia, extends far bacj
beyond the possibility of asrtaiuln;
its date. In China and India the(or!g
iual model of the fan was the wing o
a bird, and at one time was part if
the emblems of imperial authority.
I The American peanut Crop a vera get
about five million bushels a year, an(
twenty-two pounds of the nuts make i
bushel. Alwjut $10,000,0(10 worth ot
peanuts yearly are consumed, either It
their natural form or in candy. Tin
shucks furnish good food for pigs, nn(
the peanut vine forms a first-class fod
der for mules. Vast quantities of pea
nuts are shipped each year to Great
Britain and the Continent from boll
Africa and Asia, where they are cou
verted Into "pure Lucca olive olj." J
bushel of peonut shells will a (Ton
about a gallon of oil, and the meal ii
used for., feeding horses, and is ftlst
baked Into a variety of bread whlcl
has a large sale In Germany au(
France. ,
Paul.
Some say that Patti cannot sing,
Pity PsttL
They claim her voice be taken wing.
Pity Pstti.
How very ssd to think that she '
Should come so fsr across tbe sea
To show ber Isck of bsrtnonee,
Pity Patti.
, . v '
Bat don't you be too sure of that;
Witty Patti
Is quite too sharp to prove so flat,
Witty Patti.
She'll coax the dollars Sa of yore,
She'll add s fortune to her store,
And like ss aot she'll come eocoe more
Oritty Patti.
Cleveland Plain Desler.
Her Paec Too Ixnie
Walton Why did Jones break o
his engagement with Miss Oldaeraa?
Jackson On account" of her past
"What wae the matter with ttr
"Nothing, only he thought H was to
Iwxae CeiUe.
It to aaid that Texas alone auvkrt
fSO.tXXMMO worth of eattto ummSf.
A akan! nantatooay are aiwty ettha
too abort or tee iecx but ta ato ease
at ef tam a wvcMafa Oct karci im
DOCTOR ENSOR
Endorses the Catarrhal. Tonic Pe-ru-na
A Congressman's Letter. ,
Dr. J. F. Ensor, ToMmaster of Colum
i'ia, S. C late SuperintuHitmt and Phy
sician in charire ef State Insane Asylum
at Columbia, S. C, writes: ,
' "Alter utlng your Peruna myself
tor m Bbort period, and my tmmlly hav
ing utad mod are now using tbe same
with good results, and upon tbe In
htrmation of others woo hrrz been
benefited by It as a cure Kr catarrh
and an Invigorating tonic, '. 'an cheer
fully recommend It to at persons re-
3ulrlogso effective a remedy." Dr.
. F. Eosor.
' Hod. C. W. P.ntts. evMember of Con
jrresi from North Ikikota, in a letter
from Washington. I, C, says:
"That Peruna is not only a T'errous,
aa well as an effective tonic, hut a so a
cure of catarrh is beyond controversy.
It ia already mtnblitdird by its nae by
the thousands who have been benefited
by it. I cannot too hiirhly express my
re rui ii uu ui ii t'ALCiieuue. -V., .
Butts.
1 Ir. R. Robbiqa, lluskogee, I. T.,
.writes:
i "1'eruna la the best medieine I know
'of for coughs and to strengthen a wenk
tomacii and to give Setite. Beside
'prescribing it for catarrh, I have ordered
it for weak and debilitated people, and
liare sot had a patient but said it helped
.him. It i an excellent medicine and it
fits so many case.
) "I hate a larite practice, and hare a
chance to presi-ril your Peruna. I
hope yon may liTe long to do jjood to the
ick andtaufferinit."
I Only the weak need a tonic. People
are never weak except from ome good
cause. One of the obaciir- cause of
iweakneaa and tbe oue ofteneat over
'looked ia catarrh. "
i Catarrh inflames the mucous mem
brane and causes the blood plasma to
escape throujrli the mticmis membrane
In the form of uiucua. This discharge
of mnoua in the name aa tbe loss of blood.
It produces weakness.
W.
rbery
Hiiro
Tk. Dcwilaii Trl wm I lr I W Koa
kUi MM Tr, wktrfe prM u. rwrMf.
Two hundred thousand dollars Las
been appropriated by tbe Louisiana
Purchase Exposition to cover the
expenses of tbe International - Con
gresses that will assetubls. In St.
Louis, September 19-25, 1!)4. The
Congress of Arts and Sciences will
have one definite task: Td demon
strate tbe unity of knowledge, and
thus bring harmony and Inter-relar
tlon into the scattered scientific
work of the present day. Lending
g-holars from all over the world will
deliver lectures before the Congress
WESTERN CANADA
HAS FREE HOMES
FOR MIULIONSI
I (7pr4f of WJSS latirliaai
hmn wtua U WaMara Canaaa
daitna u rasr. iww
MUiiiIM, npr u Proaj!
a,a4 iterate mom Uil for mlJhvaa
Waaoorfal rtol4 off Wkaat M
oUiorirauw. Ma Oreaina Im4
oa tko OsatlBoot. Maoineoat
I Fni Rexitteid il 160 Acrts, Fm
Baa oalr akarra bl iKi tut ntrr. BaU th
Eitooiaa (or an atlaan4 otkar llioratora.a U as
aVaolUteaio.aliu inn radooaa railoai raiaa. otoj
iairUuo4aot ot IainicaUaa. Ottaaw. taa.. ar kr
iT. Boaaau, SSI Ma fort Ilk Bl. Oaaafca,
. Ua ikilaoi flaaailoa 0 hi ill lM
TUEKE IS KO
SLICKED LIM!'
rorVynrA fo and bfUr rvyyttis
or um enjuw casum ceax, lower a
OlUdCauU were IhUodJced
in the Wcat and wtrt caHed Orders lr
the pferartra and c"y. Thb yaphic
natnc ha com r& such gnml um thnt
il it ftanKrty theu4 wroMfuty aapard
to aurv snUutcs. YeuiKthcjensr
Losfc far the jn cf the PuKand
tkr lamTwRr n the kutUm
pMaxa(Siswaasi I
A Shin ef nuty la a 4f Watwr.
a, us
' IS am
ii p7 a mi- r
a i f fl r a .:va.
h arav. r X,. m.
"m'J Wna are here
l I Kootbccr
I t1 grwitfit Sr!n(t tonic. i
I 1 ApackacnuUeadvecal- 1$
) lona. n,,M evrryprtri-. J
' or '"' a rnU' Mi t !
' iiiiiKi. himo. Ifl
si
mil rs&
SUPT. SOUTH CAROLINA
STATE INSTITUTION.
Perune stops the catarrh and prevents
the discharge of tnncun; Thin j why
I'eruaa is called n tonic. Peruna doea
not give nrenKth by stimulating tbe
nervous system a little.
It jtivea strength by preserving
miicoua membraneiuapalnut leakage.
the
It given fetreoglh by converting the
blood fluids and preventing their drain
ing away in mucotn discharges.
Constant spitting, and blowing the
nose will finally produce extreme weak
ness from the loss of mucus.
If yoo do not derive prompt and satis
factory results from the use of l'eruna,,
write at once to Dr. Iiartman. giving a
full statement of your case, and- he will
be pleased to give you bis valuable ad
rice gratis.
Address He. Hartman. President of
The Hartman Sanitarium, Columbus, 6.
L. DOUGLAS
S3.antl S3.S Shoes &:
f f" You hi Irmn M.Ut lo "KMMi early
tf wearing JL. If out: La t3.&J or &3 Mxm.
arts jtwt a (fi! hi evfry may . tlms that
oMii eoMtuii j-i,u lroiu m taw. mm
uiinine ot . j jHMigm ftiM prove
tlifir huittriorUr over ail oilier tunkr.
im gfTtiiiRA frfO? !mii nn! Jnc6
ilainrwl mi th rvtH'W 'Jake no
I.. I.hu-1hn 94 (.lit Kriice
Line cannot be equalled
Ht Htiy price
W. Ij. DotiirU mkft and Mils mrff rnn a
thf,n any o hr manuta' tnrr 'n the wr,r('0
$25,000 R8wrd."'i'a'JwA'hi"m!,
StatV 'tixmt tu nr'e'M4 tiwip lail'fa,
2 The grand stand erected for those
who viewed the display of flrewotks!
at tbe dedication Ceremonies or the
Louisiana Purchase Exposition at St.!
Louis; is tbe largest, with one cx-'.
eeption ever built. The exception is;
the grand stand built in London forj
the coronation ceremonies of Eng
land's ruler, Edward Vlll. The St. j
Louis stand has a seating capacity of(
31,000, It is KM feet loug and 185
feet broad. Tbe lun ber in the struc
ture alone cost, 20,C(K ,
The achievements, history and
possibilities in the science and Indus
tries of agriculture are to receive ex
tensive treatment and display at the
Universal Exposition at St. Louis In
l'.H)4. The Exposition authorities
have given tbe various materials, In-,
tlustries and pursuits which are to'
be Included, or irnp'ied, under the
heading Agriculture, such as theory
of Agriculture, appliances and meth
ods used in agricultural ndustrles;
agricultural Implements and farm
machinery; farm equipments; meth
ods uf Improving lands; agricultural'
proc'uets, vegetables cereals', etc., a
leading place in the ciusslricatloo.
Tbe space devoted to agriculture
covers 65 acres on a comtni.ndIng
site.
A quarter of a million dollars has
been set aside by (lie Louisiana Pur
chase Exposition for the use of tbe
Live Stock Department. Chief F.D.
Coburn and bis assistants have ac
complished much, and are already
assured tbat the live stock display at
St. Louis will exceed that made at
any previous exposition. Thirty
seven acres of beautifully wooded
land is devo'ed to tbe live stock ex
exhibit, and fine pavillion, stables,
etc., are being erected.
A UA8T RESORT.
Pare Food Bhonld Km th Flrat.
When the human machine foes wrong
It'a ten to one that the trouble begao
with the stomach and can therefore b
removed by the uae of proper food. A
lady well known in Hriatol, Out aria
County, N, Y., tella of the experience lbs
had curing; her only child by the ne ol
wientinc food: "My little daughter. Mm
only child and for that reaaon doubly
dear, Inherited nerroua dyapepaia. W
tried all kinda of remediea and soft foods
At laat, when patience waa stout
kauited and the child's condition bad
frown ao bad Die whole family was
srouaed, we tried Grape-Nuts.
"A friend recommended tbe food st
one whieb ber "own delicate children bad
grown strong upon, so I pnrcbssed I
bos ss a laat rerort. In a very short
time a marked change Ift both bealtl
and disposition was seen. v Wbst msdf
onr ess ay was tbst she liked it al
one snd Its crisp, nutty flavor bas raadi
It aa tmaiediau favorite with tb moat
fastidious la our family.
"It us seems to bo thoroughly tstab
Hiked la wasttra Nw York, wber maaj
frkMas use It rsfulsrly. 1 bar not lee
Ms one snoots up) taa Istelloets as wtl
as tko bod is ti tko who mi il - Wt
ws It mack." Naasa girsa by Psotasj
C 8atO Oroak. Mkj,
aooo wives ARE
IN ACTIVE DEM AND.
4AAAAA -
A cry comeo from the bachelors of
Western Oklahoma for wives. It comes
through a letter of E. V. Jones, An
pora. Day County, to the Guthrie Daily
vai'iitii, u ,1,1 iviitin, ;
"iM-iir Sir: In the laat lesueg of your
paper have npiienred two items of
news (hat have particularly Interested
me. The brut one Rave an account of
a man in South Imkota who wrote tb
Imliima about the bachelors there who)
WHtitcil to get married and were un
able to, and the result of that letter.
Secondly, the desire of a member of
the Kansas Legislature to tax bacb
clorH ?."o a year.
"Let ua look at the condition of
JhiiiKa In Western Oklahoma, where I
am now living. We have here a great
many bachelors who are continually
bcitiK Joked for remaining o. Soma
ot tlicKc are men who are ImluKtrlou
iijid well itble to support a wife and
would make her mppy. You talk
with then? iiu u, and very few, if any,,
l.ke the life they are living. Then
why do they not marry? Because they
are nnabie to help themselves in thia
county. They want women of mar
riageable age, women of good common
sense, women who will make them
suitable companions and thus enable
them the better to overcome the diffi
culties and dlsapHilntments that beset
them In the great struggle for exist
ence. 1
"The girls out here of marriageable
age that are of any account are very
few Indeed. It Is almost easier to find
a pin In a haystack than to find one.
What Is to become of the bachelors it
Western Oklahoma? Must lhey fell
out or continue to live the miserable
life they are at present living?" A
member of the Kansas Legislature
would say tax thorn $."( a year? Would,
you tax a man for what be cannot
help? Give Hum a chance to marry
the right kind of. women and see if
they will not readily respond to It.
Then the abodes that have Jiet-u for
merly shunned will be shunned no
more. Then the houses where pcoido
In the past have always refused to
partake of hospitality will be refused
no more. Then the society of a com-,
mtmity will be Infused with such new!
life, new joy, that even tbe very hills
around us will break forth In anthems
of praise as they see men ami women
living the life that Ood Intended they
should live when lie said: "It Is not!
good for man to be alone."
HOODOOED EAR.
t- ,
I'oaaeaaed by 'I Ilia Man I Always
Gcttlnu Him I nto Trouble.
"Dou you know I believe cne of my
ears Is hoodooed," ald the pale-fa
ce
man n ue sviueu uown tutu u out arm
chair, "and I know a good many tbi
which tend to strengthen this fori
.impossible, eh? Well, you are fool
ish.
j "One of my old schoolmates had a
ii)oucn' toe. x'.very rime anytnnig
happened to him It happened to that
toe. Now he would 'slump' the nail
otr; agalu lie would pick up a thornj
or a splinter; or be would get a toa
mashed ull these things always hap
pened to tbe same toe. He grew up.
.What happened? Corn worst com 1
ever saw on the same unlucky toe.
1 knew u not her fellow. Fate seemed
to have a pick at his nose. Every time
anythlui; hnppi ned his nose was tbi
thing it bappt titd to. One day a man
tried to cut him with a razor. He Just
clipped the end of bls nose off, a gra
cious bit of economy, as you shall see.
During an election row several years
later he got Into a shooting scrape.
A man shot bim with a ritie and clipped
off anoint r bit of his, nose. Home time
'after' this 'my friend got Into another
row, and his adversary threw bim
Jdown, and in the skirmish that fol
lowed, cht wed another little piece of
ids nose off. A pollcetimn struck bim
across tbe nose with a club st a still
later timc--broke the bridge. Mams
way with my right car. It's hoodooed.
When a more boy I was thrown from a
horse. Itrulsed the lobe of my right
ear. Ont hit In n ball game one day.
Itight ear again. Once nfter I grew. up
I got Into a fight, and the man lilt tne
three times, and every time his big fist
landed squarely on the right ear. Take
the other day. as soother example. I
was sitting In a dicing car going out of
New Orleans, when the train suddenly
swung arourld a sharp curve. With
(table, chair, linen, dlsbes and all I
niMiaii tiuieuuy ugninm (ne OIDer
side of tbe car. Sea, tbat ear same obi
ear same old result. Don't you tell
me It's hoodoes, that's all.. Bat I arq
certain of one thing I'll never get l(
in the neck, not as loag. as I hare tbat
ear." New Orleans Times-Democrat. '
No Argument.
A clergyman passing through a rlr
lage street saw a number of boys sur
rounding a dog, says tbe Ituffalu
Courier. Thinking tbat some cruel
deed was In progress, tbe clergyman
bsstencd toward the boy and asked)
what they were doln. On r h
fads replied tbat tbey were telling Ilea,
ano tne Doy wno told the biggest lb
would get tbe dog. The clergyman
was shocked at snch deprsvlty and b
gan to lecture them on the sin of lying;
and concluded his remarks by saylng4
"Why, when I waa a little bey 1
never UM Ilea."
Tb boys were silent for a
when on of tbem said sadly,
"hsbo mm tbe do."
i
Tbe mora nparlenees wa hare with
beakb foods tha mora aympaUir we
fea for onr aid gnas-aattng triaaq
i
..." ..... '.
,1 f