t
0 -
1 SELBY'S SAFE.
O
O
WHENEVER I get a new job
Uiat seems like a gold mUie,"
observed Selby, "I Immediate
ly begin to look around for the draw
backs." "Kicking Bill, as usual," remarked
hi friend Eggleston. "By George, I
believe you'd kick In heaven because
j our wings were iike a swan's imdend
of a peacock's. What In the world
hare you got to grumble about uowV"
"It's just like this," replied Selby.
"You see, I have some very large col
lections to make every Saturday night,
which 1 have to keep in the house un
til Monday. I don't like the rtatponsi
bllity. It's wearing on my nerves. 1
haven't a peaceful moment while the
money's in the house and scarcely got
a wink of sleep. There isn't a place I
can put it and feel that it's secure."
"Well," suggested Eggleston, "my
advice is, first to take a nerve tonic,
ind then to buy a safe."
"That's what I'll have to do," as
sented the other, "buy a safe. The
zxpense is somewhat heavy, but I can't
ltand the strain any longer. Look here,
Eggleston, suppose you meet me to
morrow noon at Devron's and hlp me
:o select one."
"Glad to do it, old man," answered
Eggleston. "but I'll charge you a fee
not only for my professional knowl
edge of strong boxes, but also for the
advice I have given you to-night."
The next day the two met at Dev
ron's. It was evident that the epithet
if "Kicking Bill" which his friends had
oag ago bestowed upon Selby was not
1 slander. According to him there was
not a suitable safe in the whole estab
lishment. One was too large, another
too small, a third not strong enough,
a fourth had too easy a combination.
After a couple of hours' examination
of the whole stock, and when the
weary salesman, having vainly extoll
ed the merits of his wares with all
his trader's eloquence, at length de
spaired of making a sale, Eggleston
came to the rescue.
"Ootne now, Selby, this is all non
sense. Here's one that fills the bill."
Selby protested: but Eggleston Insist
ed, and in the end carried his point.
Tte safe was installed in the library,
which adjoined Selby's bedroom. Like
a child with a new toy, he spent the
first few hours after its arrival play
ing with the combination until he could
almost work it with his eyes shut.
The first Saturday after his purchase
he brought home a fat wad of green
backs, which he carefully deposited in
the inner compartment of the safe,
locked the door, put the key, in his
pocket, closed the outer door and twist
ed the combination back and forth for
five full minutes; then opened it again
to make sure he had locked the inner
compartment, and repeated the whole
process.
He went to bed that night with the
key to the inner door tied to his wrist.
Nevertheless, sleep was as difficult to
Induce as ever. If the floor in the hall
creaked be imagined that some one
was stealing into the library, and a
thorough investigation bad to be made.
But physical and mental exhaustion
finally won the upper hand.
When he awoke the next morning
his first act waa to feel for the key.
It had not been removed from his
wrist. Next he hastened Into the li
brary. No dynamiters bad been at
work on the safe, which stood as if
gating at him In silent disdain at bis
anxiety. He quickly opened the outer
door, and, with trembling fingers, in
serted the key into the lock of the in
ner compartment A twist, a pull and
its door was open. His 'heart leaped
violently to his throat, then dropped
exhausted and seemed to cease its
beating altogether. Only gaping, moek
' Ing, hopeless, awful emptiness met bis
searching eyes. Not the slightest ves
tige of the treasure remained.
Bnt who had extracted it and how?
He reported the matter to the police,
and detectives were sent to the house.
As is their wont, they Immediately sus
pected the servants. Impossible! They
had been In the family for years, and
even if they were dishonest, how could
they have gotten Into the safe, espe
cially as the key bad never left bis
possession for a single Instant and the
dealer bad assured him that there were
no duplicates.
What but no, it could not be! Vet
Kggleston bad insisted rather deter
minedly upon bis taking that particular
safe. No, he woo Id not believe It of
bis friend. Still, such breaches of
friendship were not unheard of. Could
It be that Eggleston and the clerk were
la collusion, and that Eggleston hud
obtained a duplicate key? But how
could be have gotten Into the bouse?
Perhaps be had bribed one of tbe ser
vants. Although be doubted him, neverthe
less these suspicions made Selby very
uncomfortable. However, he did not
' communicate then to tbe detectives,
who were atterty at loss for a dew.
Another Ma tarda y arrived without
say hopeful developments.
After mark fceattattaa Salby again
tCS bin oUetMMM in th safe, and
I'ZtmUr tmmim4 every door a ad
batata ratJrlac. Not coo teat
4 cm tasjaa prfwtimm. he arose at
r laterals carta- ran aigat aaa
'-"mi (a anatcat af tola traaaart
vm .'. latV aaMll
D'tiUMaui
S
from which he was awakened soim
time after daybreak by a knock at thi
door. It was one of the servants. Ai
he was never aroused from his slum
here on Sunday morning, he surmise
that something was wrong. In respon
to his inquiring glance the maid stat
ed that between three and four o'clocl
she Lad heard fuutstrps descending thi
attic staircase, that she had renin inet
awake and listened attentively, bu
heard nothing more, ami that she ha
only at that moment dared to venturi
out of her room.
Selby's first thought was of the safe
Hushing into the library, he hastilt
opened its two doors. Again it wa:
empty!
Next he climbed the attic stairs. Hi
found no trace of the thief up there
The windows were not only all uailec
shut, but none of the dust-covered cob
webs which sealed them had been (lis
tiubcd. The scuttle to the roof like
wise was fastened on the Inside. A
search through the rest of the lious
revealed nobody in hiding, nor was
there any visible means of exit, all thi
doors and windows being locked fron
within.
The servant who had awakened Sel
by was put through a rigid examict
lion by the police, who were of th(
opinion that she was implicated in tht
theft and had concocted her story t
divert suspicion from herself; but shi
was either an expert twister of thi
truth or innocent, for the ferrets o!
crime, with all their skillful question
ing and cross-questioning, could find w
Haws in her testimony.
.Saturday came round again, and thi
detective in charge of the case hat
made no progress. Although It wat
not probable that a third robberj
would be committed, still he was go
ing to try the only method renialuint
to solve the mystery namely, concea
himself 'In the library that night. Sel
by alone was apprised of his Intentior
and admitted him to the house aftei
the servants had retired. When they
had both made sure that the contents
of the safe were thus far intact Slbj
locked the Iron doors and went to bit
room.
But he was ill at ease. His nerves
unstrung by the worry of the past twe
weeks, excited his Imagination to thi
wildest vagaries. He became distrust
ful even of the detective. Whist if h
should be an accomplice! The corrup
tion of the police force was notorious
Might not this man be one of the most
corrupt? Reason dispelled these r'eaif
in part, but it was several hours be
fore sleep visited him.
Suddenly he was roughly brought
back to consciousness by a shake from
a powerful arm. He struggled frantic
ally to free himself.
"Calm yourself," said a voice, vvhict
he instantly recognized as that of tb
detective. "What's the matter? Ev
erything's all right."
Everything all right: How happen
ed it then that the detective was Ir
his room and how had an entrance
been effected, for he was sure he had
locked the door before retiring? How
but his thoughts abruptly changed
their direction. His wandering eyet
had gradually regained the power ol
seeing concrete things, and he all at
once realized that he was not in Lib
room. But where was he? Refon
him stood the detective holding a flick
ering candle.
"Are you awake now, sir?" asked th
latter.
"Tea," answered Selby.
"Look down at your feet, then."
Selby did as blddeu. A loose board
had been removed from the flooring
and In the hole thus uncovered wen
three wads of greenbacks. Meinoriei
of childhood came back to him. How
often when a small boy had he bidder
ids youthful valuables beneath tha'
very board, but he had long since for
gotten Its existence. In an instant hi
comprehended the situation. It wai
an oild ease of somnambulism. Hh
ever-vigilant distrust hud stolen i
march on Ills sleeping consciousness.
New York News.
The Hope of Kings.
The Ctur be rules a billion men;
He bids them live in peace or strife;
He makes them sad nnd glad again;
He holds dominion over lif.
From where the snow enshrouds the poll
To where the sun first brings it tirei
Each serf and noble ploys his role,
The ('nor has all thut he desires.
In Home the Emperor, in state.
Rule forth to view the spreading
seiie.
To glad his eyes are thing ornate.
And palaces of regal sheen.
Ilia wishes are commands, Indeed.
Hi sublects fear the nllirhtMt frown
Snch hnppiness is bnt the meed
Of him who wears royal crown.
And yet the Emperor and Cznr
All powerful each in his Isrid
Find that there are wnne things to ma
Their v'mtns slid their outlook grand
For, on ouch palace gate is nailed
A sign wbiMie meaning it most clear,
A daughter with delight it hulled.
Bat eh sign read' "IVy waotx
Chicago Tribune.
ffstenstv nilartty.
"DM a smile when you offered bin
the cbaaceT"
HaaflaT Why be wu sa eatln
fafos eoauay-New Tor Tims.
ShniwAiLs iP
OPINIONS OF GREAT PAPERS ON IMPORTANT SUBJECTS
Generosity in the Churches.
THu.SE who believe, or affect to believe that religion
is declining throughtout the countries of Christen
dom will find no support for their pessimistic notions
in the figures showing the amounts already collected
for tbe "twentieth century" funds started by various
denominations In this country and Europe. These funds
have already reached a total of $40,000,000, and the pro
moters of these enterprise are confident that they will have
the balance of f 10,000,000 more. Of the amount raised,
more than one-half is credited to American churches, the
Methodists being far In the lead in liberality. The Cana
dian Methodists started into raise $1,000,000, and have al
ready secured that and $'J50,0t)0 "besides. The Presbyteri
ans of Canada set out for the same million-dollar goal and
have already gone nearly a half-million beyond It
It Is especially gratifying to note that all these enormous
sums have been collected at an expense of less than 1 per
cent of the total, and also that In spite of this generous ply
ing. It has in no way interfered with the regular contribu
tions to missionary societies nnd to the supixirt of churches.
On the contrary, all religious societies show an increase in
receipts, and there is hardly one ibat Is not out of debt,
a condition that has not obtained in years. The funds
collected are to be used first for the payment of church
debts, and, after that, for the i nduwint nt of colleges, mis
sionary societies and other religious institutions.
As giving and doing are always closely related. It Is un
believable that this outpouring of millions for the extension
of religion at home and abroad will not be speedily fol
lowed by a corresiwHidlng development and Increase in the
spiritual life and activities of the churches. The oju n hand
nid the open heart generally go together.-Leslie's Weekly.
The Cost of Comfort.
ANY a man has bought his comfort at the cost of
y achievement of his aims. Tew people are willing
I I to be incommoded, or to submit to discomforts,
1 1 even for the sake of future blessings. They would
succeed if they could do so. In an easy and pleas
ant way; but the moment they have to sacrilice their ease
or their comfort they shrink from the effort.
It is astonishing what people will sacrifice in order to
get comfort, or even temporary relief from whatever an
noys or harasses them. They will let golden opportunities
slij), by procrastinating, for the sake of comfort until the
chances have gone. They do not like to get up early In
the morning, because they are so comfortable in bed. Th.y
do not like to go out in a storm or In cold weather because
It is so cosy at home, or in their office; and so they lose
many a chance.
Thousands of people are earning small salaries to-day
because they cannot bear to exert themselves to win pro
motion. They prefer to remain on a low round of life's
ladder, for the sake of temporary comfort and ease, rather
than to put forth the efforts that would carry them up
ward. New York Daily News.
The Waste of Timber.
THE utter indifference of the majority, who live In
cities, to the beauty and the uses of the woods makes
It hard to procure effective legislation for their keep
ing, and the eagerness to convert them into money
makes the capitalists who are hewing them from the
earth indifferent to the needs of the America of tbe future.
Worst of all are the fires which are allowed to devastate
whole counties and which usually start as a result of care
lessness on the part of hunters, prospectors and campers.
Since lumbering began in the State of Washington, about
thirty years ago, 30,000.000,000 feet, board measure, have
boon cut, but more than half as much again has leen
burned off. The money value of the woods that were de
stroyed by fire alone was at least $rO.OO0,Oi)O, a most appal
ling waste, yet one that the people will not realize, because
they have not seen tbe forests. The paper millers are
recklessly using up the spruce nnd poplar wherever they
find It, and It Is not known that they are replanting where
they take away.
CHINESE CHAIRS AND TABLES.
Kich Furniture Used in Restaurants
and Joai Houses.
The Increasing wealth of Chinatown
In New York Is expressing itself In tin
ever-growing use of oriental luxuries
and works of art. No better illustration
can be found than in the chairs and
tables of the newer restaurants, the
Joss bouses, club halls and private resi
dences of the district Formerly cheap
but substantial American furniture
was employed. To-day handsome im
ported goods are, if not the ruic, at
least so common as to excite no com
ment.
These specimens of the eastern cab
inetmakers' art will bear comparison
with our own. They are more conven
tional and less varied, but they are
equally rich, artistic and attractive.
The sitter has the choice of a stool or
of a chnlr. Both are made of teak,
olxmy or ebonized Iron wood. The stool
is rectangular, with a sent about 18
by 12 Inches In dimensions. It Is of
wood. Inlaid marble or Inset granite.
The frame is plain, carved or inlaid
with inother-of-pmrl, ivory or silver.
Stools cost from $1 to $5 apiece.
The chairs are massive affair,
weighing from ten to fifty pounds.
They have substantial arms and a foot
rest, which Is usually covered with a
bamboo sheath. A movable cushion in
creases the comfort of the sitter. This
cushion has a warm canton-flannel
side for the winter and a cool Singa
pore mat side for the summer. The
chair Is o I ways more or less carved.
The more ornate styles have their
framework Inlaid with mother-of-pearl
or silver and a circle of polished mar
bloi granite or even Jnde set In tht
bnJk as a centerpiece. The plainest
cost $5, while those richly curved, dec
orated with mother-of-pearl and back
ed with Jnde command as much ni
$200.
The tables are like our own, but
from four to eight Inches higher. ThHr
general outline Is circular, oval, square
or rectangular. They are ma da solid
and are never extensible. The material
U teak or ebotilxcd iron wood, or, as
called, Canton Attack wood. When a
table la not more thsn Jl by ft feet tha
top la often of marble or granite. Tbe
Idea and legs are richly carved and
ara atHhwd to tbe utmost by the art
ist A favorite treatment says the
New York Post, is the shaping of the
lower part of the table leg Into a drag
on's leg. ending in claws opened or
else half closed about a globe of crys
tal or stone.
MILLIONS OF MATCHES
Are Distributed Gratuitously by tbe
Hotel Annually.
"It would be Interesting to know Just
how much the hotels of New Orleans
spend every year for matches for free
distribution," said an observant man
who hangs around the more prominent
places a great deal. "No doubt the
outlay will amount to a considerable
sum In a year's time. It is rather In
teresting to watch different men as
they approach the free match-holder,
which Is to be found on every hotel
counter of ihe city. Nearly every man
wears a different expression, and ev
ery man bug his own peculiar way of
reaching for free matches. It Is a rare
thing for a man to simply take one
match. He may need only one to light
his cigar.
'Rut he will take more than one. He
will light his cigar, or his cigarette,
or sometimes bis plie, with one, and
tbe others he will shove down Into his
pocket. Matches nre cheap enough,
but one hotel manager told me his
match bill would amount to more than
$.V) a year, and It wasn't one of the
larger hotels, either. Taking nil the ho
tels, you can see that the match bill
for a year would le no Inconsiderable
sum. It Is rather singular thnt men
who smoke never have matches with
them. They sre always begging
matches. Men who never smoke do not
need matches except to light the gii
when they go home after nightfall.
What Incomes of all the match"", any
way? Men are always asking .for
mutches. Of course, tunny matches are
burned up by men who smoke cigar
ettes. . The cigarette Is the greatest
match consumer In the world. Tbe pipe
will probably ran a good second, If I
nay one a race-horM eipresslon, espe
cially If tbe smoker Is In tbe habit of
talking a great deal, and If he ventures
out when the wmd can blow the flr
oat of tbe mouth of tbe pipe. But
matches, when put out In a public
holder, become public property, a ad
The drying up of springs and brooks, the shallowing of
rivers, tbe disappearance of wells, the driving out of farm
erg from once well-watered lands, the decline of villages
that formerly prospered through a water supply, the aban
donment of mills that formerly had water enough to drive
their wheels, and that especially need them, now that coal
is no longer to be had, are results of a too eager commer
cialism and greed, and a too gross Ignorance and careless
neess on the part of those who did not share In the profits.
Brooklyn Eagle.
Living on $300 a Year.
X saying that a workingman and his family could live
on $300 a year and save money, Professor Clark, of
Northwestern University, makes the error of seeming
to imply that mere living Is enough. A little happiness
and a comfort or so to serve as a palliative to the crude
and useless task of living are commonly eliminated from
the calculations of the wise theorists who think uiit & sim
ple regimen for the man with a large family and a small
income. It Is true that economy Is n Joyous thing in Itself
under most conditions, but the pinch of poverty Is not con
ducive to economy. It Is the poor who have to buy waste
fully. The bod of coal is for sale only at an exorbitant
price. The ill-nourished body Is In poor condition to resist
i he craving for a glass of liquor. The cramped rooms in
the congested tenement of the crowded quarter of 'he city
breed disease and the doctor and the druggist have to be
paid If the workingman Is to. retain his self-respect. U t
us teach economy by example, not by theories spoken from
the platform or by figures on a lyccnm blackboard - iii
cago Daily News.
Sire of the American family.
ACCOKlil.M! to Professor Vlerkandt, a tieiiuau so
ciologist, the question whether American race su
periority can make Itself felt in the world at large
depends on the size of American families. He notes
a Berlin dispatch says, "a tendency which discour
ages large families because of the standard of comfort re
quired." No observing person will deny that there Is such
a tendency in this country. The Americans like children,
but they hesitate to become responsible for the welfare and
comfort of large families. Four children In a family are
an unusual number; six make a big family nowadays, and
eight Invite the imputation of reckless prodigality. If Eu
rope is safe from an American Invasion until American
families prow bigger, it can rest easy In its mind. At pres
ent the tendency seems to be the other way. They say
that the French are growing more peaceable, more thrifty,
and richer. They are not Invaders nowadays In commerce,
and they are less and less disposed to aggressive war. They
have no spare population. So it may be with us. American
families can ill spare their sons for foreign service, either
military or commercial. There are too few of them born.
Harper's Weekly.
Pressing Need of Untie Sam's Navy.
THERE Is need for a very thorough agitation of the
question of the increase in the number of our naval
otticers; for It is certain that neither the people at
large nor their representatives In Congress appre
ciate the very grave crisis which has been precipi
tated by the failure to make adequate provision for man
ning the new ships of the navy. It Is easy to understand,
if not to excuse, the ignorance or indifference which exists
with regard to this question, which Is due doubtless to the
fact that we are more nfTectcd by what we can see with
our own eyes in the shape of big battleships, powerful
cruisers, etc., than we are by statistical figures indicating
the present and future strength of the personnel for man
ning these ships. For several years past It has been per
fectly well understood in official circles that we were build
ing new vessels very much faster than we were providing
men and officers to man them; but up to the present time
Congress has shown a strange apathy In dealing with the
situation-Scientific American.
any man has a right to fill his pockets
If it pleases him to do so. Hotel men
make no complaint alxiut the matter,
and, in fact, they rather like men to
help themselves." New OrleansTimes
Detnoerat Most Ancient Mine.
Primitive Inscriptions from Southern
Chahlea mention expeditions sent to
the Land of Magan for the purpose of
obtaining hard stones with which to
make statues. The date of these in
scriptions can only be conjectured, but
circumstances point to their being at
least 8,000 years old. Apart from them
there are records which show that so
early as 3,800 U. C. the Chaldeans were
In possession of both Slnul and tbe
gold-producing land of Melukkah, or
Mldian, where recent expeditions have
discovered extremely ancient mineral
workings, containing mining tools dat
ing back some 7,KH years. These
uilne, which yielded copper as well
as gold, appear to have fallen Into tbe
hands of the first of the Pharaohs, for
the very earliest Egyptian records yet
discovered tell of the expulsion of for
eign miners from the Nlmtltlc penin
sula. The Siamese Army.
Hiam has a standing army of about
five thousand men, but the fact that
the government owns arms and equip
ment sufficient for 80,000 troops shows
that the .Siamese arc prepared for de
fense. Every male Inhabitant from the
age of 18 to 21 must serve as a recruit
for three years. The government also
owns about twenty vessels. The larg
est of these Is a cruiser of 3,000 tons.
(JimkI Cause for Kriiiuljr,
Mrs. Korseley I don't see your lady
friend with you any more.
Miss Ciiiiiicii No, but you may have
noticed my Imly friend's gentleman
friend with me, so she's my lady enemy
now. Philadelphia Press.
No Much 'Kre,
"loosing your hair, sir!" remarked tha
barber, producing the inevitable bot
tle. "Ob, that's all right," rejoined the
victim cheerfully. "I always come oat
on top," London Judy.
In these times a man ought to be a
farmer or la a trust
ARITHMETIC BY MACHINERY.
Laalsvllle, Ky., Man's Beasarkablo
Invention.
The stereotyped remark about some
of our modern machinery havlag al
most human intelligence gain new
force as the result of the Invention
of a Louisville man. A. C. Schuman.
0f 5(jo street, that city, has been
granted patents on an adding machine
that computes all four sums In arith
meticaddition, subtraction, division
and multiplication.
Mr. Scbutuan has already gained
more than local distinction by bis In
vention in tbe field of applied me
chanics. The manipulation of the invention
involves no mental arithmetical calcu
tlon to assist in the working. Tbe
process is as nearly a mechanical ope
ration as possible.
The adding machines now la use art
built for processes of addition alone.
It is possible, however, to use them tot
simple subtraction. When Mr. Schu
man. some time ago, turned his atten
tion to computing machinery he In
vented two machines.
One of these is uu adding machine
md typewriter combined, suitable fot
making out itemized bills and the like.
This machine which was the first oni
patented by Mr. Schum.tn, only com
putes sums In addition.
The machine which is available fol
ill our processes of computation Is lim
ited lis to typewriting facilities. Th
change from one form of calculation
to another means only the shifting ol
a bur ami the turning of a crank s
many times.
The odd part of this uncanny n
chine Is that it computes sums In flvi
or six figures more quickly than th
shorter ones. This is due to the me
chanical construction. In division tht
fractional remainder is always set
down with the answer.
"I applied for patents on both ma
chines at about the same time, but th
letters on the simple machine wer
granted first," said Mr. Schuman. "Tht
machine which computes all sums wai
invented before the other." '
Mr. Scltuiiiflu is assisted by his sod
Ceorgo Schuman. lictween them they
have done some remarkable work. Fot
the Nazareth Academy Mr. Scbuman
furnished a planetarium and a tele
scope. The planetarium shows the po
sition of all the Inner plauts for thi
century just closed, recording transit!
and eclipses. The telescope, which hai
an equatorial mounting. Is an unusual
ly good one.
Another of Mr. .Sell utisan's achieve
ments, suys the Lotiisville-Courlei
Journal, was made in the line of co
and thread cutting machinery. He haj
built a machine which will cut any re
quired number of cogs on a wheel ol
tny given dimension. Tbe threadcuttei
can be adjusted so as to cut from IOC
threads to the im h to one thread In
12 inches, on a rod otie-guarter of an
inch in diameter, (inly a mechanic
?an appreciate tite Importance of thess '
aiachinea or the difficulties' surmounted
In building them.
The Itussian mercantile marine con
ilsts of 745 steamers and saillnj
vessels.
Three thousand newspapers a ad out
thousand letters are received by Klnj)
Edward every day.
Last year sixty oceau-goiuK steauten
were engaged exclusively in the ba.
nana trade.
Novel first ttid-to-the injured boxet
are to be scattered In the streets oi
Paris. Outwardly the appuratu re
sembles a lump post letter box, and il
contains a small medicine chest a fold
ing stretcher and a telephone for gig
nallng the nearest ambulance station.
Access to the box Is gained by break
ing a gluss panel.
It was disclosed by examination!
made in the Washington city poatoOlce,
covering a period of about two and
half months, that 970.S20 piece of pnU
matter and 5,900,000 pieces of nnpsM
(or "franked") matter of all classei
went through, tbe unpaid matter oi
some days running as high as 135,000,
127,000, 120,000, 125.000 and 122.0M
pieces, while the percentage jmt daj
would often to to ubotit ninety, crawl
Ing up ns high us ninety-three per cent
on a single day, and averaging pel
cent every day.
Of the four huiidriil Inscribed chtj
slabs found In the ruins of Mabylol
by the expedition sent out by the tier
man Oriental Society, but two bavt
yet been deciphered, one explaining tin
Babylonian cuneiform chanicters n
the other containing the lltnny chant,
ed by the singers of the temple of Ea
gllu on the return of the god Mardul
lo his sanctuary.
Was lluay.
Bishop Thomas U. iMidlcy, of Ken
tucky, was seated upon a veranda li
Louisville last Easter watching thi
people crossing Hie street. Tbe daj
was a very nasty one. A friend eaiui
long.
"Ah, Bishop," said he, "what are yo(
doing Ibis dreary afternoon?"
"Merely observing the Passover," re
plied the Episcopal gentleman.
Iliah Knough,
"lie says he never wears suytblni
but a blgb bat."
"Why, I saw him with a derby ol
only this morning."
"Well, It wss a $5 one " PhMadel
pbla Bulletin.
No woman Is so anxious to see Imb
church fair a success as to warn to am
bar husband there surrounded ay otaa
wbm who are selling him tMags.