Tb Hirri oa Pietf-Jjiiwai
KEEBASKA
Lu tuny laula at bolsaj. but poli
ticians do not.
The foot and mouth disease is not
necessarily confined to quadrupeds.
Every man has tils particular bent
especially after be gets iu the rheu
matic class.
Venezuela isn't the first debt dodger
that baa found tbe way ot the trans
greaser bard. - - -
A New York man with a broken neck
baa Inherited $1,000,000. Some people
bar terrible luck.
may be gome things a woman
does set know, but an tsaa eaa tell
ber what tbey are.
Prince Cupid's full name is Jonah K.
Kalanlaaole. We can't blame that
man for not wanting to cling to his
title.
.... T w t-if. U.
growing shallower. There are enough
w seeks reposing on its bottom ts ae
cout far this.
A Chicago preacher has aomltmned
tha "don't worry philosophy." If you
bare no trouble of your own hurry out
and borrow a little.
EUptorer Peary advises consumptives
to spend a season in tbe arctic circle.
Certainly nobody can accuse Mr. Peary
of giving the consumptives bot air.
A lnnactic iu Poughkeepsie was re
stored to sanity by hearing an orches
tra. It must have been the playing of
some other orchestra that made him
insane.
A Brooklyn man, after the death of
his second wife, has just gone back
and married the first, from whom be
was divorced. Sometimes experiences
makes tbe heart grow fonder.
The disappearance of the little toe,
which is predicted by the scientific
gentlemen, will do away with a
large percentage of the discomfort, not
to say misery, with which the country
mores its com crop.
A Pennsylvania postmaster has re
ceived a request to forward 500 mar
riageable young women to Seattle and
Tuconia, to become the wives of as
many anxious and desirable young
men. As It is not specified whether
they are to be sent by registered let
ter or as second class matter, the post
master is taking no action.
One of the New York papers calls
attention to the decline in popularity of
the silk hat. There was a time when
the older citizens of dressy tastes were
Invariably decked with the shiny stove
pipe. But that day has passed and silk
hats have become so rare that they
attract special attention when seen in
public. Exception is made, however,
in the case of the cheap politicians.
They would forfeit all respect if they
omitted the high hat
Men who employ child labor, as
well as men who. indolent at home,
lire upon the earnings of their chil
dren, should be smitten with public
condemnation. Lnder the old regime
the alive dealer the man who, in or
der to make money, separated fathers
and mothers and children was social
ly ostracized. There is no small rea
son why men who traffic in their own
children's lives and In the Uvea of oth
er men's children should escape simi
lar punishment.
Howe day we shall probably have to
light for this Monroe doctrine. The
country is practically unanimous on
the subject and is likely to remain so,
despite the Imbecile, corrupt and revo
lutionary propensities of the South
Americans. We are considering our
own interests and safety, not theirs. It
is a well accepted principle of internal
law that every nation has a perfect
right to fight against a threatened dan
ger. We could not submit to tbe es
tablishment of a hostile empire at our
very door.
In bis message President Roosevelt
puts the stamp of hearty approval on
the rural free delivery system, and he
sees more in it than the simple deliver
ing of mall matter to the folks on the
farm. It is one of a host of niodem
things tbut are making life away from
cities more pleasant and attractive;
and some day, It is believed, the con
stant flow of young men and women
from broad acres to crowded cities will
be checked. There are not enough suc
cessful fanners progressive, wide
awake, modern tillers of the soil How
can there be when the sons are not
willing to follow lu that footsteps of
their fathers? These boyi crave ex
citement, luxuries, better clothing, the
noise and bustle of a busy world. In
a good many Instances these young
sters of the farm swap pure gold for
Cross; peace for discontent They even
make less money than could be wrest
ed from (be soil at home. 'They prefer
to chase dollars in a crowd. They risk
health and morals. There srs tempta
tions In a city that the farm dwellers
know nothing of any are blessed In
their Ignorance. There are little towns
that hare been almost swept of their
jioting men. while nt the plow are gray--frw;
old fellows who need the help
K mnm, and tnoarn because of the city
i Ajm thai ant become epidemic
lue fouudjtiou of American prosperity
In In the soil. We are still an agrieul
tural nation, and wise men assert that
we must remain such. Anything that
science, invention and new laws can do
to make life on the farms more attrac
tive to the j-oung folks will have a
benring on the future welfare of the
nation. Cheap telephone, rural free
mail delivery and interurban istreet
railroad are putting the fanns In
touch with the test of city life and the
result can only be good.
It is the easiest thing in tbe world U
be a "nobody." All that is necessary
is to do nothing, or to be like the boy
who, when questioned by his father as
to why he had resigned his position as
clerk In a store, replied: "Tbe work
wr.s too harri; I am locking for some
thing easy." Look out for a "soft
snap." Don't get op in tbe morning
until you feel like It. Don't go to work
until you are obliged to. Dont ' put
yourself out to meet engagements.
Never mind if yon miss a train, or if
yea are half an hour late at your work,
if you are at school, don't trouble
about preparing your lessons. "Crib"
whenever yoa can, cheat as often as
possible, and get the beet of your teach
er whenever you fee a chance, and
your progress In the desired direction
will be assured. If you are in college,
iirer uiiuu about a scholarship: the
main thing is to slide through. You
can employ a tutor at the close of each
term and "cram" for the examination.
Have "a good time," and never bother
about results: they will take care of
themselves. Do not try to do things
as well as you can; any way will do.
If you are sawing a board, do not tx
crt yourself to saw it straight. If you
start to make a sled or a bookcase, nev
er mind about completing it; or. If you
do, put it together anyhow. Half done.
botched work Is Just the thing for
"nobodies."
When Dr. Lorenz has not been en
gaged professionally his time seems it
have been occupied with submitting tr
snap shots, interviews and banquets,
ills professional services a re performer;
with enthusiasm because his heart i
in his work. He submits to the snar
shots with the utmost good humor,
likewise to the Interview, which he
recognizes as an American practice tc
which he is now fully accustomed.
A ;
to the banquets, that Is another story
Upon the eve of leaving Baltimore for '
Philadelphia the doctor in an inter
view remarked that he was heartilj
weary of the banquets he had to tin-
dure with their endless variety of
foods. Being a man of simple tastes
he liked plain, simple, solid food. "Dt
not think," said he, "that I am insensi
ble to the great good will which yout
hospitality illustrates. But so bjucI
eating! Why, it Is wonderful! It it
extraordinary!" Unquestionably Amer j
leans are too much given to eating
So are Britons. So are Dr. Lorenz't '
own countrymen, for as to eating an
drinking a German kommerz is pro !
dizious as comnared with an Americas
banquet, and most Americans
u.j)r i
should try to keep up with Teotouh
spreads for any length of time woulc
end as physical wrecks. All the north
ern nations are great caters as com
pared with the Latin and other south
ern nations. It is partly the surviva
of savasery, partly tbe effect of cli
mate. The Ooths and Vandals wen
huge eaters and the Anglo-Saxont
hardly Inferior to them. Much de
pends, after all, upon the individua
capacity. Dr. Lorenz may not lie t
fair specimen of German alimentativf
tiess. Perhaps, having a more hill
mute acquaintance with the hnmat
body than most persons, he appreciate I
the blessedness of plain, simple living
Still, It cannot be denied that many ol
onr feasts are Gargantuan; that, as f
rule, ve eat too much and too often
and that our chief way of expressinf
our hosplialily is In lavishly feedint
our friends. It is not alone the'publu
banquet which we give the distin
gtilshed guest, which sometimes Ik
wrestles with successfully, as dit
Friuce Henry, and sometimes uiisuc
cessfully, as did the Grand Duke Boris
The private banquets go on like tlx
brook, "forever." Society must liavi
its refreshments upon every occasion
Ministers get together to discuss tlx-o
logical affairs and straightway procee
to eat. Women's clubs meet to llstei
to a paper upon some important 01
unimportant subject, and tea must lw
poured and salads serred. The birth
day, the wedding day, the funeral day
each must have its appropriate menu
and tbe holidays cannot be fittingly
celebrated without sumptuous spreads
Perhaps there is no way of reforming
our eating habits, but, all the same, at
Dr. Lorenz says. "It Is wonderful! I'
Is extraordinary V
Only a Matter of Time.
Ernest Staples tells this story of t
friend who was very fond of neb
sports and possessed a fine pair of rw,
Irish setters. One night be visited t
fashionable gambling establishment
taking tbe dogs with bim. He sa
down to enjoy tbo supper, when tin
proprietor, who was also fond of shoot
ing, remarked:
"Those are very fine animals, Mr
Blank, are they broker
"Heavens, no," was the response
"they haven't been In here Ave mln
tes."
Bay Canadian Timber.
Paper manufacturers sre buying u
timber lands In Newfoundland, Cana
da. as far as Labrador, and wnerevei
timber can be found to convert In i
pulp for paper-making. One of tb
latest purchases was by a Whtconsii
buyer who bought (Xto.ono seres o
spruce timber In Newfoundland, wher
an extensive paper mill will be erected
Often a shoemaker's flrst resort i
bis last
ABRAHAM LINCOLN.
TKa boar wii on us: where the man?
The fateful sands unfaltering ran,
Aud up the way of tear
He cauie into the years.
Our pastoral captain. Forth he came,
As one that answers to his Dime;
Nor dreamed buw high bis rburge.
Hli work how fair and large
To act tbe stones hack In the wall
Lest the divided bouse should fall.
And peace from uieo depart,
Hupe and tbB cbKd.Ike heart.
We looked on blrn; " 'Tla he." we said,
"Ceme ernwnless and unheralded.
The shepherd who will keep
The tlorks. will fold the sueep."
Unknlghtly, yes; yet 'twas the mien
Presaging the immortal scene,
Some l.attla of Ills wars
Who sealeth up tbe stars.
Nor would he take the past between
aanoa. wipe vsior t tablets clean;
Commanding great Mesa wait
Tlii he stand at the gale;
Not he would cramp to one small bead
The awful laurel of the dead,
Time's mighty vintage cup.
And drink all honor up.
No flutter of the banners bold
Home l.r ifee Justr "ns of old,
1 be haughty conquerors
feet forward to their wars;
Not h!g their blare, their pageantries,
Their goal, their glory, was not hla;
Humbly he came to keep
The flocks, to fold the aheep.
The need comes not without tbe man;
The prescient boura unecotlug ran.
And iiu tbe way of tears
ue caifie Into the yeara.
Our pastoral captain, skilled to crook
The spear Into the pruning book.
The simple, kindly man,
Ltncola, American.
New Tork Independent.
IM Senna's. Valentine f
cW-HWH-r-!-4-t-h-
fHE postman's
and shrill that c
February, and
whistle was clear
morning, the 14th of
as liu lifted the
knocker ou Aunt Xelina'a narrow
green
door the sound echoed through the house
md readied the ears of the little ladv.
I ho hastily threw aside the brush she
I was using and, shaking the dust from
Uer long print apron, opened the door
vith a pleasant smile.
! The smile vanished, however, and a
; look of surprise took its place as she was
given a large square envelope, pure
i 'hite, anil tied with dainty pink ribbons
i Hid quailit little bows. w hieli even her
nimble tinkers found if hnr.1 in iiini,v I. or
little later it was spread out ou the
tabic before her, a valentine, all laea and
bowers and satin bows, with two angels
bearing up a line of love.
Aunt Seiiua's face was a study. In
deed, she made a picture sitting there by
the old fireside trying to solve this mys
tery, and -when evening came and when
she went to feed her chickens and dog
Uover, her only companions, she was still
asking herself over and over:
Who in all the wide world can care
enough for me to send me such a mes
sage of love''"
Aunt Selina's life had been a quiet one;
her mother had died while she was a
child, and. with the help of au old nur.-se,
she had been housekeeper for her father
and one brother, older than herself, i:nd
when thia brother married she wan Aunt
ftelina, not only to his children, but to
uieir little irieuus as well, tor her sunny
nature made her a favorite with them
all. When her father died he was left
with the cottaRe and little purdeii and
enough money to live comfortably in a
quiet way.
Iiut, though 30 years of n
sue nau I
never had a lover, so now as her mind j
iao over Lite gen ueiueii wiioui sue Knew
she could think of no one who would
send her a valentine. Still there was the
Maysvilie postmark, the town where she
lived, and once again she went through
her list of acquaintances.
"There's Deacon Hayes but he is so
old and gray it can't be he. And Carlos
lirow-n, he sits in the pew at my ridif.
r. ,,
too poor to think of
For, some way. Aunt Seling felt that
it meant that, else why should one send
so costly a valentine to au old maid?
Once she thought of asking tbe post
man, and then laughed at the idea. As
if he would know, lie was a bachelor
of middle age, and rumor said that Le
had no liking for ladies' society, owing to
some experience before coining to Iiays
ville. Aunt Selina thought that his manner
bore out this statement, as lie had made
few friends and seemed not to care for
the cheerful "Good morning" which she
gave him whenever he slopped at hei
door.
It must be confessed that when tho
next Sunday came. Aunt Relina was un
usually careful of her dress. She wore
her new black silk, and her wavy brown
hair was neatly coiled beneath the small
velvet bonnet, which she had freshened
ip with a new satin bow, for she felt
sure that her valentine friend would be
at cbnrch that morning, and as sin- en
tered the color rose in her fair face, for
she felt that the deacon (md spoken
more kindly than usual, as she came
up the gravel walk, Mr. Brown had tak
en her band in greeting and 'Squire Wat
kins, her father's old friend, had in
quired for her health.
As she went back to her quiet homo
he wondered If a brighter future were
in store for her, something beside the
loneliness that had been her lot for many
years.
Time passed, and t length, hearing
nothing more from the sender of her val
entine, she decided that either lie did not
wish to he known, or bad not the cour
age to carry th matter farther, so the
little token was laid awny, the one ro
mance of Aunt Salins's life.
One day a boy came running to her
door with s message, which read:
I am very sick; will you come to me?
Tour postman. JOHN MOO UK.
"Bleak House. Baysvillc."
Tss, Aunt Sallni would go, sho was
slways ready to help the suffering, but
wbea she tntered the room where John
Moors lay, the nurse cams quickly to
ward her, telling brr that he had not
long to live, and she thought the snme
when she saw what a wreck the fever
had tnsda ef tb once strong man.
Prrhsp It was his constitution that
brought bim through, or it may have
been Aunt Pellna's cheerful face and gen
tle ways, for John Moore did not die,
allhongh It was many weeks before he
could travel his rounds again, and dur
ing that time A ant Hellns learned how
eh be had eared tse her, and that It
BORN FEKRUAKY 12, I80.
"Let as bave faith that right makes mlht and In that faith let Da dare to
do our duty aa we understand it"
wag he who had sent tbe valentine, hop
ing the little message would, in some
j w.,y, jK,)p ,jm t0 gajn h(,r jove ftlT lf
was not true, the report which the gos
sips of Iiaysville had brought agains,
him, but more a reserved nature which
had made him seem indifferent to those
w ho would like, to have been his friends.
Aunt Helina soon found that he was a
noble, true-hearted man, one she could
trust with her whole love and life, and
when be asked:
"Will you share the home I have rosde
ready with the thought of you?" she did
not refuse, but a little later went quiet
ly into the church which the children
had filled with (lowers, and when she saw
the sweet blossoms and realized that ail
this had Ijeen done for her, tears of hap
piness filled her eyes and she thought:
"How fair is life and all changed for
me by the aid of a valentine." Indian
apolis Sun.
LINCOLN'S LIFE
Characterlatica of the Great Emanci
pator n Told in J'araKrapln.
The familiar cabin of Lincoln's child
hood could more properly be termed a
camp, for. instead of twine made of logs,
it was built of poles, was about fourteen
feet square and had no floor.
In youih he was an ardent advocate
of temperance, and delivered discourses
on cruelty to animals and the horrors of
war. He liked stump-speaking much
mere than the ax he had to wield so
often.
Among the first situations he obtained
e,..r .,,: ,i , t ,
himK(,lf .; , f)at.llo,lt , N(,iy
Orleans. The slave auction he witness
ed there bore the ripe fruit of after years.
It is ssiid that then and there, in May,
1K.11. the iron against slavery entered
his soul.
Tall, lanky, sallow, dark and slightly
stooping he was in appearance, beiiu a
muscular (', feet 4 at 17. His dress in
those days was all tanned deer hid", coiif,
trotiKi-rs and moccasins. The luxury of
wearing garments of fur and wool, dyed
with the juice of the butternut or white
walnut, was just being adopted in his
neighborhood, and Lincoln was not a
person to take the hud in elegance.
Lincoln had very' little actual school
education, his first goings, at the age of
10, were in Indiana, to a woman named
Hazel Dorsey. He was often taken from
school to work or hire out. At
went again to Andrew Crawford's scl
and at 17 he saw the last of his school
days under a man named Swaney. All
the education be obtained afterward was
through his own exertions. "Kducation
defective" was his own definition given
to the. compiler of the Dictionary of Con
gress, although it was not a pleasant
thought to him.
Being raised in a community supers).!- (
lions in the extreme, Lincoln helievnl in
supernatural portents all his life. Krl-,
day be considered fatal to every enter-
pnse, snn, as it turned out, wen ue
might. He had many dreams which he
considered forecasts of coming event,
once sending a telegram to his wife to
take away "Tad's" pistol, as he had had
a bad dream slstit turn. A good dream
presaged the victories of Antietnm. Mur
freesbnro, Gettysburg and V'icksluirg. He
related an ill one just before bis assas
sination. Too Many Bills.
9
00
"Lord Needmonneigh asked me if be
could b oiy valentine. "
"And you told bim "
"That there was too moch postage due
on him."
W 'ju vi
HOUSE IN WHICH LINCOLN
LILD COINS TO DECAY.
JThe rapid decay of the bouse in Wash
ington in which Abraham Lincoln died is
attracting public attention, and if is prob
able that something will be done to pre
serve it. it contains the Oldrovd col
lection of Lincoln relics, and until re
cently whs in the care of private tenants,
who charged a small admission fee to
visitors. .Now it is in the c;ire cf a so
ciety, but nothing has been done to pre
serve or repair the walls or the interior.
The house is directly across the street
from the site of Ford's Theater, where
Lincoln was shot.
LINCOLN'S NARROW ESCAPE.
Fiendish Plot to Inocnlnte Him with
the Vftmlipoi.
The demand for an additional body
guard around the White House recalls an
incident of the civil war within the mem
ory of many residents. During the excit
ing period of XI great fears were enter
tained for the safety of the President,
and every precaution was taken to insure
his personal protection.
One morning there appeared at the
White House a woman, closely veiled,
demanding an Immediate interview with
Mr. Linroiu. Approaching Messenger
Perkins, who guarded the door of Mr.
Lincoln's private oltie. tfie visitor made
known her request and '..leaded earnestly
that she Ik- admitted to a personal inter-
M he ri,'n- 1 d.K.rkeeper's orders were, how
choo, i ''v'r' very strict, and finding her eloquence
all in vain, she finally compromised by
rounding her message to the courteous
but firm employe. Taking him to one
side, the veiled lady took both bis bands
in hers and tenderly nibbed them as she
extracted a promise (hat be would imme
diately deliver her request to the Presi
dent. Perkins was almost overcome by a
most peculiar odor that appeared to ema
nate from his companion, and hastened to
w itnont creating a scene,
'So sooner bad be accomplished this than
')l' confided to one of the household (he
" i"'i'"i upon mm wnne in con
versation with the Impo.-tunafe visitor.
A physician w ho w as present promptly di
vincn me irtitn and instituted a search
for the woman, when It was learned that
she bad driven rapidly avay in a carriage,
and all trace was lost. Perkins was im
mediately ordered to return to his home
and await developments.
Within the usual period he was taken
ill with one of the worst case of viru
lent smaIIKix on record, and for weekt
lay at the point of death. Upon his re
covery the faithful messenger, whose de
votion to duty doubtless saved the life of
the President, wis appointed by Mr. Lin
coln to a permanent position on tbe cleri
cal force of the War Department, which
office he has continued to hold op to data,
being one of the most efficient clerks on
the rolls.
Man or tho People.
The birthday of Abraham Lincoln may
well recall the principles which be rep
resented, for which he labored sad for
which be endured a martyr's death.
There is no more popular figure In Amer
ican history than that of Abraham Lin
coln. He wag pre-eminently a ma a of
tbe people. Sprung from the people, hs
slways remained one of tbein. Men ad
mired George Washington, but It wis
id id mi rut Ion mingled with awe. Tin
people both loved and revered Lincoln.
President or rail splitter.be wis tb sitn
plain American citizen. In whom hon
esty was an Instinct, and whoa patriot
Ism was pirt of bis vry soul. Charles
A. Dins. .
JOHNNY CANUCK IN WAR.
The Canadian Soldier ia Africa Bs-
bibitcsl Home Hnrr Traits.
To South Africa Great Britain sent
Tommy Atkins, Australia forwarded
Tommy Cornstalk and Canada die
patched Johnny Canuck. Much has
been said regarding tbe merits of tbe
fabling material raised by the empire
and nothing save praise has come our
way. We are, therefore, not in search
of compliments, nor do we wish to
draw uny Invidious dlstinctluna. That
Canada did lis duty nnd did it well is
sufficient for the average Canadian. In
other quarters, however, the part takeu
In the war by Johnny Canuck and oth
er I!rilo..s is still a subject of cotu
mcat, A story of the war, written by au
Australian, Corporal Adams, gives tbe
impression of a man in tbe ranks. The
writer, who speaks highly of tbe work
of tbe Asulralians, concedes that the
empire produced two kinds of soldier
that were even better. The best In bis
Judgment, were tbp Canadians, and
next dime the New Zcnlundcrs. Of the
Canadians Mr. Adams speaks in this
wise: "Their dashing actions, cool fe
rocity, qnbt 'slimness' and guileless
vcrneukery' of the Iioers themselves
and their pure hard cheek rendered
hrm famous s"d fuocinntln" herevrr
tbey went." As an Illustration of tbe
"vcrneukery" of the Canadians, an In
cident In which they trapped the tricky
zarps, or Johannesburg police, by
adopting the B ;er tactics. Is cited.
The Canadians held a strong posiriop
on the edge of a ridge which the mrpti
were trying to capture. After a desul
tory engagement the Canadians rose
ami ostentatiously retired. Tbey gallop
ed past a gap In tbe ridge, through
which the Iioers could see them Is full
retreat, but under cover of the hill they
returned to their old positions, where
tbey silently awaited t lie pursuing
Doers. It was not often that the coun
trymen of slippery Dewct were caught
by such n ruse, says the Toronto Mall
and Kiupire. but we are Informed that
in this Instance is was entirely success
ful. Tbe Iioers advanced tin; II ot 2K1
yards the Canadians oic n (1 a deadly
at;d effective fire, b fore which the sup
posed victors retired with heavy lost
and In havoc. Thus tbey were. In the
vernacular of the veldt, "vernett'-ed''
by the Canadians, for wh m, im tbey
bave subsequently testified, tbey ac
quired a wholesome dread.
ABOUT THE TIPPING EVIL.
Americans Have I nc rented Cost m
Travel irt dr. cut.
'Wherever Americans b'tve trnvelcd
In tbe Orient tbey seem to bave ex
erted a bad Influence over the natives
In the way of raising prices," said Mr.
Hofcl, as be boarded the dongkoujf
Maru Just prior to ber sailing for Sun
Francisco. "(Jo to India, Singapore,
Hongkong, Manila nnd Japanese clues
and yon will find that tbe Americans
have turned things topsy-turvy."
Mr. Hofcl is returning to St. Inis
after a year In the Orient. Ills tnc1
complaint is the m.. ,ner in which
American tourists have caused prices
to soar bkywurtl. Tin; fault with Amer
icans Is that wherever they go they at
tempt to "show on"' and their habit ot
tipping far Iu excess of bcneliln receiv
ed has Iticrciised even that bane of
travelings Kuropenns generally do not
exceed a tip of one tenth of their bill
iu cafes and other places of service.
On the other bund, Americans tip en
tirely out of all proportion to tbe cost
of things received. When an Auierle;i;i
goes into a cafe and his bill amount, to
50 or 75 cents In Aineilenii money, lie
tells the waiter to keep the change of
a dollar. People following In the wakii
of these extravagant tipsters uaunlly
find out to their sorrow that tbey must
pity equally well or put up with poor
service.
The ricksha runners even have made
up their minds that when an American
appears among them be must tx mulct
ed. Tbey raise the prices and then
expect tips as well. In Manila the
coeberos, instead of bring the obse
quious J( bus of the old Spanish days,
have now become Independent beings,
nnd if they feel Unit they will not gvt
more than the regulation fare, tvfuo
to accept a passenger on the ground
flint they are engaged.
"To say that one Is an American."
snid Mr. Hofel, according to the Hono
lulu Advertiser, "is to niinnunco that
you ttre to Ktjind and be rolil-od in
broad daylight. The servile people
which we used to know In the Orient
are not so row in the rase: of Ameri
cans. Kuropenn travelers, hovorer,
pscspi from this condition of affairs,
nnd they lire treated with ris much re
Kpcct as formerly."
All In Ills i:ye.
"HI, there!" shouted the customs ofB
--r. suplclously. "Why nre you hold
Ing your handkerchief to your facer
"There's a bit of cinder in my eye,"
answered tbe returning tourist.
"Ahl foreign substance In the pye,'
You'll have to pay duty on It."
Womn In Meillolnn.
Medicine as a profession for women
Is constantly growing In popularity In
London. Women now holding medical
degr ees In Great Rrltaln number more
than MO.
Kqn illy Tough.
La ti 11 dy Wblle meot or dark?
Boarder It doesn't matter; I'm coloi
bllnd.--New York Tlnua.
If a m m has to be at work at 7, then
guests a.ioiiM not stay the evening
before later than 0:3l. If he Is not
due till 8, tbey can remain till 10. A
set of roles governing the hour for thi
arrival and departure of guests weuld
make life easier for the man who
works neit dsy.
When a man quits smoking, and goes
to ebewlsg, he ts not mocb ot here.