mix1 7 ft as..! - .i. I f A. V A HOME , KDWAKD LESLIE kissed bis Wife fondly when she ran to the door to welcome him boiue from business, but when be readied their cosy kitchen be dropped wearily Into the easy chair by the are and mated bis bead unon bis band, lie I tu tired after a long day's work, witb nothing but a couple of bum to stay the tuner man tired and worried. They had been married now nearly twelve months, and tbey found housekeeping more expensive than tbey bad antici pated, and the better times tbey bad hoped for seemed as far off as ever. It was nearly the end of the month, too, and the rent would soon be due. The coal, also, had yet to be paid for, and then there was the interest on some "tickets" which must be paid, or bis little wife would lose the little Jewelry he treasured so, but which she gave up so willingly to help the man she loved In the hard struggle to get tbeir , little home together. "Dinner Is nearly ready, dearest," aid she as she stroked bis hair back from his forehead. "And you are hun gry and tired, dear, and worried." Presently the postman's sharp rap caused him to spring up and run to the door, lie came back more slowly. "It's from Uncle Mac." he said. "Well, I am surprised. He arrived in England yesterday morning, and oh, good heavens! we must put him off. We can't do it" Mrs. Leslie took the letter. "My Dear Godson Ted I have come back to England after fifteen years in Australia. As things are not too well With me, I propose to come and stay a few months with you. I suppose since you are married fortune is smiling upon you, and they say three can be kept as cheaply as one. Expect me to night at 9. All news then. Your affectionate uncle. MAC." "Why, I always thought your L'ncle Mac was doing so well, Ted," she said, lowly, as she finished "So did L" said her husband. "But, then, everyone abroad Is always doing well. I must write at once and put him off." "No, Ted, dear," his little wife said, bravely. "Because you are married I don't want him to think we are quite ao poor. We will manage somehow." But she sighed a little as she thought how quickly, even now, the weekly pay dwindled to a shilling or two before Friday night Barely an hour later Uncle Mac an nounced bis arrival witb a performance en the little brass knocker which start led several of Mrs. Leslie's quiet neigh bors. "Glad to see you, me boy. Glad to tee yon, Nice little place you got but awkward to find. Took the wrong train ' at Broad street so bad to come up on the tram. And I say, Ted, my boy, i why on earth don't tbey put the pave ment all the way along the street? . Half way down 1 got mixed up in a mountain of mortar, quite lost my temper, and nearly my umbrella. As I aaid to a man who came down with me. That's an infernal ugly looking thing Your wife, eh. TedT broke off Dncle Mac, as be can tin sight of McQitt tn the ball. "Glad to make your acquaintance, Mrs. Ted," he said, waik mg Into Nellie's dainty little drawing room the pride of her life bringing with him sufficient of the much-sized mortar on his boots to build a srnall slacd Tills. "Come over to the light and let me look at you." "Nice face, but tired," he said, qnite j audibly, although intended only for himself. "Smart girl, but no strength er backbone. Novel and the sofa and pretty fal-dal-lala. Wonder why be ; married her?" I "Because he loved me and I loved him." aaid Nellie, proudly. "I beg your pardon," said Uncle Mac, hurriedly. "Silly habit speaking your thoughts aloud. Learnt it in the lonely bush. No offense. Hope you're happy and your love will last but they do any when poverty comes In at the whafe-lta-name love skoots out of the thingummy." "That's wrong, my dear, lan't Itr aid Edward, slipping bis arm round her waist "Poverty only make our lore the brighter. But come, Uncle Mae, my little girl has some real old Irian stew for supper, and I'm sure you're hungry." Tou're right Ted, my boy," cried Undo Mac "I'm absolutely raven- - "leu won't mind the kitchen, will fm, Mr. -or V Nellie began. "Mac, my dear, plain Mac; ;that la, tf wiik, Unde Mac. to you," be re gUod. "Personally I prefer Um klteb- Paring supper be kept them all mer fj with atorlea of hla life In Aua fcaSn, but Nellie's eyea noted with ap t.JjoBoinn that hla appetite waa likely f ) t a ncrtoaa strain on her limited tack, thla." he aaid presently, ft) fsmmtloH. "Knocks billy and : r sr koUew. But you're not eating - lr . Vrt Pfe?' thank you," she :J3KX bt Uncle Mac silently J Cri tho moat had been served to ;cJltl aif. while her plate made Oow wftk Uttto erne than a ' ' ;". ' Wk paaaed and one day zitatt -roadertag whether ahe 1 C tJi a ring taw CJ n Ok mis -Uneto ' tt' mm ant SO aesm. aa. HEROINE my dear?" be says cheerfulJy, "but the fact is, I've run out of cash, so I thought I would drop down earlier and have a bit of lunch with you." "Have lunch with me!" cried Nellie in a horror-stricken voice. "I'm afraid I have nothing In the house. Uncle Mac." "Oh. anything will do," he replied, carelessly, "and If you have nothing In the place, give me two bob, and I'll run down to the butcher round the corner and get a bit of steak, eh?" "I'm sorry. Uncle Mac, but but Ted die went off In a hurry this morning, and and he took my purse away In his pocket" "Silly boy! Silly boy! And yet he doesn't know It" replied Uncle Mac ruefully. "For when I called at hla office to borrow five shillings off him be said ts had left all bis money at home. But there," be added cheerfully, "I have a sovereign, and we must spend that My lucky sov. must go." "Your lucky sovereign?" queried Nel lie. "Well. I call It my lucky sovereign," said Uncle Mac, "because It was tbe first sovereign I ever earned, and it happened to have tbe date on of tbe very year I started to work as a boy of fourteen., I've kept It ail these years." "Oh, you mustn't spend that" cried Nellie. "To-night Ted will be paid and we shall be all right again. Come down stairs and have some more ba con." Uncle Mac said be had never enjoyed any meal so much as he did that bacon, and after he had finished he proposed that they should go for a walk to gether. "As we can't afford a tram ride," he said, laughingly, "we will Just walk round and think we are millionaires. Nothing like building castles in the air, tny dear, when you are down In the dumps. If you can't actually en Joy the things wealth would bring you can look round the shops aud see all the pretty things, and then by a little Imagination just consider they are your own. Now, as money's no object where shall be say we live?" "Oh. at HIghgate," cried Nellie. "Why Highgater asked Uncle Mac seriously. "Because there's such a lovely house there to be let It stands in its own ground, and I've often looked at It long before we were married even. I think I told you about It one d:iy." Finding the gate of the bouse open they ventured to look over It Nellie waxed quite enthusiastic, and as tbey went from room to room she furnished them sumptuously In ber Imagination. The drawing room would be in gold and white with, Louis XIV. style fur niture. "Never beard of him," said Uncle Mae, with conviction. "You must show me some of that on tbe way home." Nellie replied with a laugh that she would show him the very thing she meant in Dormans & Brown's Empo rium, and on the way back she pointed out many things she would like aud have, "if only they had plenty of money." When they got back Ted was waiting for his dinner, and while the chops were grilling Nellie told him the ad ventures of the day. During dinner Uncle Mac, amid many bursts of laugh ter, described the wonderful home in which Nellie would, in imagination live. Uncle Mac started off early next morning to get work, or, as he said, "die in the attempt" Toward the end of the second week Uncle Mac ob tained a "Job." "Of course, It hsu't ex actly the thing I wanted," he ex plained, "but then, beggars can't be choosers. I'm to get thirty-live shil lings a week, so 1 thought Nellie, I could pay a pound every Wednesday toward tbe bousekeep.ng expenses." Matters were so arranged, and Nellie began to feel quite rich. It was sur prising bow much help that extra sov ereign was, and Nellie's nightmare of the end of tbe week began to vanish. Uncle Mac continued to come down at 5, and Nellie and be atlll amused themselves by "building castles In the air" and with looking in the shops. At last when everything seemed so happy, Edward came down one night with a hard, drawn look upon bis face. He kissed his wife with great tender ness at the door. and. with a shake in his voice said: "Come Into the kitchen, Nellie." "What la It Ted?" ahe asked anx iously. "I'v got the sack, NeUr he aaid. with a sob. Fof some moments they stood la al ienee, then he sank on a chair and burled hla face la hla hands. "Well my little love blrda," cried Uncle Mac. entering from the garden. "Why, where the matter?" In a few broken words Nell told him of thla last and greatest trouble. "Well, well." aaid Unde Mae. when ahe had ended, "keep a brave heart, my dear, and things may be all well yet I think Ted and I will take a lit tie walk up the street and talk ma Haw When they came back ahe waa lying on the bad, where ahe had been crying bitterly, but aba tried to with smile. After dinner ahe assmsd to and tad bear, and she fH as though aba mast ge to aleep. Presently ber ahe heard Uade Mm nay: "Cnrry tor to aotaHhlag." Ircav taO. tar atony ct had i toaaatfaj dream. She thought that she woke u and found herself In the house at High gate, furnished jurt as she always pt tured it and Untie Mac and Ted wart there, and they were talking and laugh lng Joyfully "Isn't It a lovely dream?" she said turning to Uncle Mac. "It Is not a dream, my dear," he said softly. "I am not poor, as you think I am very rich. I have bought you thli house and furnished it as you de scribed, and we brought you here it your sleep. We shall all live here no that is. If you will tolerate your oW uncle and to-morrow Ted will conn up with me a,s manager to my business in the city." "Is It true, then Uncle Mae?" shi cried. "It Is all true, little woman, and yo must forgive an old man's deceit but I wanted to see the metal my boy'i wife was made of, and and that rlchet would not turn ber bead. But I know now, my dear, that as wealth has com In at the thingummy, love will not flj out of the what's-lts-name." New York News. CONCERNING THE OYSTER. A Short Natural History Lesson 01 This Timely Subject. Now that the oyster season has ar rived a few remarks concerning this popular bivalve might not be amiss.' Epicures naturally like to know what they are eating and If those who are addicted to the oyster habit will fol low this brief scientific treatise closely they will be made familiar with the habits and eccentricities of the oyster. The oyster belongs to the genus of lametlibranch mollusks of the third order monomya aud may be at once distinguished by the bilateral sym metry of the heterogeneous convexity. The labial ganglia are very minute while the parietospianchnie are will developed. We hate to say a thing like this about an oyster behind Ht back, but the truth may as well lie told now, because some one would find out later, anyhow; there is no excuse for beating about the bush. In spite of all the hard names applied to the oyster, however. It Is connidered one of the most toothsome dinhes that come out of the sea. A few fat oys ters In the prime of life, seasoned to taste with Kalt, pepper and a dash of vinegar, make a really appetizing re past; an oyster needs no other lubri cants save the condiments mentioned above. If placed in the month it will be found that a well trained oyster will burrow Its way down a man's gullet and Into his vitals with the dexterity of a toboggan on a shoot-the-cbutcs. The oyster Is a creature of sedentary habits. It will sit In the mud by the month at a time thinking out beautiful and ennobling thoughts without assist ance from outside sources. In add i Ion it also possesses a great amount of per sistence. Tbe oysier never gives up; it will cling to a rock during the eutire period of Its existence without com plaint or becoming discouraged. In fact the oyster's motto seems to be. "Hang on." There are various humane ways of killing an oyster, says the Ohio State Journal, all of which Bre highly com mended by the clergy and societies for the prevention of cruelty of animal throughout the country. For Instance, an oyster may be stewed, fried, baked, steamed or pickled, according to the caprice of the consumer. If eaten raw an oyster should be stabbed before taken. LAUGH AT THE "TOMMIES." Boer Prisoners Played a Clrer Joke on Their Hrltish Guard. When tbe 5.000 Eoes prisoners were confined on the Islands of the Great Sound, Bermuda, there was a constani rivalry between the wits of the burgh ers and those of their guards every whit as keen as that displayed by the contending generals on the far-off Afri can battle-fields. Now It was a "take off" on the Tommies, now a laugh on the hirsute burghers, and tiling had about split even until the eventful night when not only the whole English camp but the English fleet as well full victims to the plotting Boers. A Britsh sentry was stationed on a promontory overlooking the sound, when something suspicious caught bis eye on the calm surface of the water between himself and a battleship ly ing at anchor. Not wbb'ng to arouse the whole camp on a false alarm, be watched the object for some minutes. Suddenly bis heart Jumped into bis mouth. Tbe object was not only mov ing slowly through the water, but It had taken tbe shape of a man oa a raft Was It a prisoner escaping? "Guard turn outl Sound the alarm! Searchlight! Searcbllghtr he shouted. The English camp wss sstlr In a moment Tbe alarm was sounded and the armed Britons came flocking from every quarter. Slgnala were made to the battleship, and In a few momenta she waa a scene of commotion. Her great searchlight waa turned on the ocean and lighted up tbe promontory with the brightness of noonday. Boats Oiled with armed soldiers shot out af ter tbe escaping Boer. Then the st arch light fell upon tbe raft, as It did so a roar from 5.000 Boers told tbe British that tbey had been taken In aa Brit ish soldiers bad never been taken la before. The supposed prisoner eaeaplng. aaya tbe Detroit Newe-Trlttune, waa a dum my dreseed up In burgher's clothes gad dad to a raft . Mgftvet uT A I VtHUm Mllta, What la to be tbe biggest cotton mtU In tbe world Is to be located aoon near Eansaa City, Mo. The iaost- wlll reach a boat 10400,000. AM seme city people skew la whether their part of tows m reached jhyagrmm ar CflJB BUDGET OF FUN. HUMOROUS 6AYING3 AND DO INGS HERE AND THERE. Jekea and Joteiete that Arc Bnppossd to Have Been Hecently Born Maying and Doings that Are Old, Curious aud LaughableThe Week's Huaaor. We had uo anthracite nor coke. Our cook was new and green; Some one told ber that she should souk A brick In kerosene. Sbs placed.lt. In the stove -a roar It seemed the roof was cleft; And now we show a shattered door Where our Nora left Chicago News. Mlu Flutter's Remark. "This Is Mr. Fleeter, tbe famous hundred yard maa. Miss Flutter." "Oh, Mr. Fleeter, I'm so glad to meet you I And do you play ping-pong, too, Mr. Fleeter T An Accident. all game?" fell, a imilo In an adiolnlnir field bn loose and mixed with the game Vis pretty badly hurt." a tn lil,wl 1 ..II. Ethel Oh, you dear little doggie; you."' Mary I think he's horrid. Ethel So do I; but Jack says he's got a dandy pedigree. His Hiericnce. Hi. Every time I pick up a hairpin on the street I get a letter. I never knew it to fail. Dlx I did. 1 picked up one the other day and put it in icy pocket but 1 d.du't get a letter. . 1IU You didn't? IMx No. But my wife found It, aud I got a lecture. Knew His ltusinesa. After putting her autograph on the hotij register the actress handed the cleiit a package, saying: "Put It In the s;ife, please; k contains 10,000 worth of diamonds." "Very well," replied the genial clerk. "I'll see that the ife is robbed In time to get un account of your loss In the morning papers." The Diair-io-tis. Patient Do you think I have the gout? Doctor Hem! What's your Income? Patient About ?2,000 a year. Doctor My dear sir, It's only an or dinary case rheumatism. Reasonable Explanation. Customer YoU charged me M for this one garment? I think that's pretty high. Tailor Well, the bill, as I made It out at first was for $13, but that is such an unlucky number I thought you'd rather pay a dollar more. Chicago Tribune. Just a "little alip of a boy" a fa miliar expression illustrated. The Privilege of Age. I haven't known you very long," said Miss Anne Teek, gushingly, "but I hope you won't object to my calling you tirace." It doesn't seem too familiar, does itr "Not at all." replied Mlaa Sharp. "I rather expect elderly ladles to csll ms by my first nasae." Philadelphia Pi Ad Hoaalaasa. He Doesn't It aeem rid leu loos, yon know, to call a thing that grows oa land a "vegetable oyster?" She Not at all, when yon reflect upon the numerous lobetera that grew on land. Chicago Tribune, As KsstUlSKrt. O liesMany a man's thirst for Hqaer hi due to hla poverty. Milea-HeWa that? lilies tf wealthy be wonldsA allow himself to bare a thirst Added Attraetleaa, -No, Indeed," aaid tbe crafty ger agent to tbe bride and groom. "Our company doss not prohibit Biasing an tbe platforms, and, besidea, I weald all year attention to tbe fact that wa bare more and longer roanela tan any other railway la the world." taiti snore American. "'IVere there any accidents In the Suspicious. "I suppose your cbsnces of winning the affections of Miss Usy are as good as the next fellow's?" "I don't know. She called me 'Jim' very affectionately last night" "You don't say? Well, that's promis ing. Isn't itr "Hardly, considering that my name hapiwns to be Tom." Philadelphia Press. Plenty to Ppare. "I see a Baltimore man hla discovered that ordinary street dirt can be turned into fuel." "Il'm! According to that, Chicago can supply the world with fuel." Eer Preference. "Darling, come and fly with met whispered the ardent young lover. 'No, I am afraid of airships," replied tbe beautiful glrL "But If you bring your automobile around I'll think U over." Doubtless True. Smith 1 wonder if Seeker really putt principle above party success, as he says? Jones Undoubtedly. At least he hai run for office a djzen times sad hai never once been elected. The Biggest Kxpenae. She I ought not to have marrleo such an extravagant man. He But. mv dear, the man WTiOm you married couldn't be anything else. Philadelphia Bulletin. Short Account. La Montt I hear that Cheaply'i money is all in his wife's name. I.a Moyne Il'm! She must have an awfully short name. Then He'd Have To. Singleton My physician says 1 should lead a strenuous life. . Wederly That Isn't a dllllcult mat ter. All you have to do Is to get mar ried. Wanted to Know. "We have some nice shot slk np stairs, madam," said the polite floor walker. "Who shot it?" asked Innooceut Mrs Ilogau. " lliiNinms Vim and Dowqo. Junior Partner Your wife called you up six times over the telephone to-day. Senior Partner That means she'll call trie down a dozeji times to-night at dinner. Knvious Nell. Nell So you are engaged to Cholly eh? Bess Yes, I've met my match at last Nell Oh, I don't know. I Imaglni poor Cholly will find himself outclassed Mia Excuse. Mrs. Perch I declare, Mr. Perch, you're Intoxicated again. Mr. Perch All wrong, ni dear (hlc) got caught in a whirl pool. Just dizzy; thatsh all. A Plot. "I see an eminent authority on fresh ets says that In all the rivers of th country the water Is going to be ex tremely high this winter." "Fudge! I'll bet the Ice trust started that story so It'll have an excuse fol keeping the price of Ico high nxt sum mer." Philadelphia Press. Similar but a fferent. IIm T. 111,1 ...... ..... i Ml ii si . amriiui 1 j iia j 11 VHl Kill stretch your legs when the train stop pe 1 at the Junction? Kecona passenger tame tning. I bad 'em pulled at the lunch counter. Plenty of Experience. "Did your new cook have any recom mendations to offer?" "Oh, yes; she said she's been dl charged from some of the very best families." Philadelphia Bulletin. Meiinneas of Brown. Urevn Brown told an acquaintance of mine that be could have beat in) time an 1 married you himself if he tuu. wanted to. Mrs. Green The Ideal I wondet why be didn't do It then? Green Oh, I can readily understand why be didn't lie had a grudgt against me, Olail Ha Went. Homer That preacher Is all right I wouldn't have nrlased she sermon thli morning for s 1 10 bill. Mrs. Homer I'm glsd to bear you say so, dear. It certainly was cont rincing. Homer That's what I liked about It It fully convinced ms Kiat 1 might M a great deal worse than I asm. just no. "I read where the Queen of Serrte boxed the king's ears until tbey flush ed." remarked the maa with the paper. "Ah, a royal flush," grinned the poker Aa Object of Pity. Mrs. Neighbore-Oor new girl eaa'1 read a word of English. Mrs. Homer What not area the bar gain advertisements? Beth Chant. Mlaa nderlelgb-I hardly knew yen, Mr. Roundabout Ton bare a different cut to your hair. Rona about-Tee. And I aaa years aaa a afferent bun. Qelie Tree. "Can't always bare what yon want ha thai world." "No, bat that doesn't prerant yon wiatiag what yen baren't ant NEW8PAPER GROWTH. Marvelous Develnpaaest of the Assert can Press. w Wennett Greeley. Prentice and Raymond -the grand "we" of the old ichool were In a fmali company when tbey virtually ruled public opin ion aava the St. Iuis Republic. There were only t!M dally papers In exist ence in 1 ST0. To-day there are i.-o. tn 1850 the combined circulation of the papers was 758,454. while in 1000 the circulation of the 2.220 wss 15, 102,150. The aggregate number of tonics Issued during the year 1850 was 120.400,978, while In 1!0 it was 8,- lfiS.248.740. It must be admitted that U)ts growth tn circulation has follow- hT a change in the" socailed mission f the newspaper. A half century ago ao statesman felt secure unless be bad the editorial support of the papers. The press did not hen. as now, ex- ress and lead public opinion, but form fd It To-dav the highest calling of the newspaper Is to truthfully faralsh the news. No daily can make editorial expression the leading feature and sur vive. Railroad, telegraph and cable liave made communication so easy that the desire of the pple for the latest news has made the circulation of the better papers Increase by lsaps and hounds. With the betterment of transporta tion facilities the weekly press has failed to keep pace with the dally. Prom 1SX0 to 18!KJ the Increase In the dally was 25.0 ix-r writ; from 1S90 te 1900 It was 30.2 er cent; while the in crease In weekly circulation dropped from 2C.7 per cent between 1K80 and 18LK) to 14.7 per cent in the Last de aide. There was V.riWXm invested In jewspapers and jK-riodlcals In 1900. nicy had 27.579 salaried employes, who received 127,015.791, and 91,004 ivage earners, wh i n-ceive $50.3.'i3,051. Material cost $50,214,904. and Uie mon y valne of prod nets was $222,1183,505). There Is no way of promoting the ac tual value of the product In promoting tdvancenirut and nav'.ng the cost of nlstakes which ignorance makes at wcry turn. Diamonds are worth SJO.OOO.OOO a ton, It Is estimated that more than half tha people In the world dwell In Asia. It takes about tim-e lavonds for a message to go from one end of the At lantic cable to the other. What was probably the Erst public library In the United State was started in Charleston, S. C In 1719. Hard times In Germany are said te have caused a largp diminution In the consumption of wine and spirituous li!ju ;rs. . The bamboo holds the record among plants for quick growth. It has been known to grow two feet In twenty-four hours. , The rotation of a watervpotrt at the nurfsce of the sea has been estimated t ?M miles an hour, or nearly six miles t minute. The great bnlk of chalk Is composed af eight different fipecles of tiny shells, but nearly three band red kinds have ba n found in It. The Columbia, which sailed from Bos on In September, 1787, was the first ship that carried the stars and stripes completely around the world. Of ninety-three Emperors who have governed the whole or a large part of Ihe Roman empire, sixty-two were tnur Icred or died under suspicious clrcum jtances. Henri Ilourict, a 8wlss watchmaker, has recently completed s watch made ntlrely out of Ivory taken from a bil liard ball works and case complete. It keeps good time. Several important railways are being built In China. Notwithstanding their ibeoretlcal objections to railways, ths Chinese make much use of them when built, and trade is at once Improved. fill thousand Is the record number of roses produced by one tree at a time. This was In Holland. on Mme. Uegnew's land. A Mareohal Mel at Whitby, Eng. !ard. has had 3,500 blossoms on It at the ame time. Woman's rights prevail In Abyssinia. There the wife Is Ik)ss of the shanty. The house, with all Its contents, belongs to her, and If the husband offends her (he turns him out until be hi fully re pentant and makes amends. Tbe Paris Academle des Sciences la xainliilng s theory to the effect that the key to human ststure lies In the gland 'Ituated In tbe throat under the larynx. Ry artificially stimulating this glsnd It is claimed that any child can te mads a grow to maximum height House at Meven Qeblee A cousin of the late Nathaniel Haw thorne, who Uvea In Salem, says there never was a House of the Seven Ga bles In that town. He tells the Boa Ion Journal that "Hawthorne came down to visit me shortly before hut death, and we rambled about the old haunts of his early days. 1 was par ticular to ask him to point out If he could, tbe famoua House of tbe Serea Oahlea, because at that time tbe con troversy existed In some degree. " There never waa any.' waa bla I ra ined Is te reply to me. 'I never bad any (articular house In my mind when I wrote the story. It waa Just a fancy f my own."' Honest City of Borne. Berne has tbe reputation of Wing the most bo neat town In wltaaflaad. It 1 1 aaid that not a alagle article bag I era loat within the city without ba log I , ' ' Kir ; ' , ' ' A "