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About Harrison press-journal. (Harrison, Nebraska) 1899-1905 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 18, 1902)
A SISTER'S VENGEANCE By CEORCE MANVILLE FENN CHAPTEU XI. (Continued- Wbst fotfowed n one terrible scene f despairing men striving (or tbeir 'ivi-s against a foe of overpowering strength. The fierce fire of the schooner, as she came nearer aud nearer, was feebly re sponded to, aud io a short time the deck a '.reamed with blood, a the ah Jt tame crashing through the bulwark. Heading shower of splihters td do deadly work with the bail of grape. There u no thought capture now; no need of bid ding the men attack; fallowing the n j)ple of their oflirera, aud one aud ull doggedly determined to sell tbeir iivcs dearly, the men dragged gun after gun rmd as those they worki-d were dis abled, aud heni a shot in reply as often as they could. With uniform torn and bedabbled, with biood. face blackened with powder. auJ the red light of battle In hi eyes. Hum phrey Armstrong saw (tlainly enough that big case was hopeless, and that, with all Tier pomp of war and pride of -ttt4ttiiue aud strength, his sloop wan pra-itrnte be fore the buccaneer' snaky craft. '1'he schooner's sides were vomiting smoke and flame, and she was close aljH, aide now. She bad been so maneuTered as to sail rignt round the eaid of the reef, whose position seemed i be eaaetly known, ao tVat from firing upou the sloop's bows and raking from sb-oi to stern, the firiug had been continued as the p&saed aJoug the larboard side. Hardly had llamphrey seen the eue tujr't intention aad gathered his wen to gether, than the schooner's side grouml up against the shattered atera of the ioop. Heavy grappling irons were thrown on board, and with a furious yelling a horde of blackened, savage-looking men poured on to the bloody, splinter-strewn deck, and coming comparatively fre!i upon the sloop's exhausted crew, bore down all oppoaitioa. Men were driven below, cut down, stunned and driven to a.sk for quarter; and so furious was the onslaught that the sloop's crew were di Tided into two half-helpless bodies, cue of which threw down their arms, while the other, which inci'ided the captain six the officers, backed slowly toward the bowa, halting at every spot where they could make a stand, but forced to yield foot by foot, till tbeir fate was to sur- . l j : ik t. V. .. .. t. .. .... reuuer or oe uriveu iuunn m: ed bulwarks into the sea. It was a matter of minutea. The Tight waa desperate, but useless; Humphrey Armstrong and those aronnd him seeming determiued to sell their Uvea dearly, for no quarter was asked. They find rrivon way atep by step tiU there waa aothing behind them, but the shattered bulwarks and the sea, when, headed by their lead er, the buccaueera made a desperate rush; there waa the clashing of a word and pike; and, as sailor and officer fell or were dis armed, Humphrey stepped in a half -congealed pool of blood, slipped, and wtpnt heavily backward, the buccaneer's lleu teoant leaping forward to brain him with a heavy ax. There waa a rash, a fierce about. Black Maxcard waa throat aside, and the com modore aprang past him U piaat hfe foot npen the fallen Scar's cheat, while, the fight being over, the rest held thetr hands the conqueror aad casta, tiered to see what would be the captain's fate. "Now, Captain Artwatroag," cried Uie buccaneer leader, "bra; far jroar wretch ed life, you cowardly dogf "Oowardr roared Humphrey, raising himself slightly aa aaa hand, aa with the other he swept the blood from Bis ensan guined face. "Toa cursed houad! yoa lier The buccaneer sssrank back aa if from some blow; his foot waa withdrawn from the wounded officer's cheat, he lowered the point of his sword and stood gazing at bis prostrate enemy wildly: "The captain shirks the job, lads," cried s coarse voice. "Here, let me come." It was Black M award who spoke, and. drunk with the spirit of the furious tight, be preaaed forward, as in hand. Humphrey raised himself a little high er, with his white teeth bared in fierce de nance as be prepared to meet the death blow he saw about to fall. But st that moment the buccaneer caught his lieutenant's uplifted arm. "Bnough!" he cried, fiercely; "no more blood. He is no coward. Bart Dinny, take this gentleman ashore." Hamphrey Armstrong did not hear the words, for "his defiant act exhausted his failing strength, aad he fell back, in sensible to all that happened for many hours to come. OHAPTBB XII. "Not dying, Baitr "No, not exactly dying," said that wor thy In a low growl; "bat a'pose you shoots ad wings a gull, picks it up, and takes It and puts It la a cage: the wound heals ap, and the bird seems Bound: but after a time it don't peck, aad don't preen its plumes, and if it don't beat itself again' the bars o' the cage, it sits snd looks at the sea." "Then yoa mean that Captain Arm strong is pining away?" 'That's It." "Has be any suspicion of who we are?" "Not a bit." "And you think he la Buffering for want af changaT "Course 1 do. Anyone would shut up In that dark place." "Has be complained T" "Not be. Too brave a lad. Why not give him and his la da a boat, aad let them go?" "To come back with a strong force and destroy nT' "Ah, I never thought of that! Make h!m swear he wouldn't. He'd keep bis word." "But his men woold aot, Bart. No: be will have to stay." "Let him loose, them, ta ran about the place. He can't get away." 'I am afraid." "What ofr "tome trouble aristae, kfauarj does at like bim." "be buccaneer took a tar or two op ibe quarters ha oeeaolad tB of bnlkUaga bwiied la the frasa eft head of the wajar to; aad Bart sly US ha Mapped. aad tat frawa va Ua waN af tamer not to attempt to escape, Bart," said the captain, pausing at last before his fol io wer. " "fwar'n't likely," said Bsrt. "Who would? He'd get away if be could." "The prisoners caunot escape through the forest; there is no way but the sea, and that must be properly watched. Due notice must be given to all that any at tempt to escape wiltlie followed by rbe punishment of death." "1 hear," said Bart. "Am I to tell the captain that?" ''.No. He must know it; but I give him into your charge. You must watch over iiiui, and protect him from himself aud froui anyone else." Uia.k Mazzard?" '"From aiiioue likeiy ta do hiui barm," iaid the captain, sternly. "Von nuder UandY" "Vei. I'm going," replied Bart, in a low growl, a he gazed in hi leader's eyes; aud then, with a curious, thought ful look in bis own, he went out of the upturn's Quarters and iu the direction of :be prison of the kin?' otiicer. As Hart approached be became aware il a fsiut rustling souud, a of someone -etreating from the window among the trees, aud starting forward, he looked ut. But ali waa atitl; not a long rope ike liana ijuiveriug, no leaf crushed. "Some monkey," muttered Bart, and turuing back, be gazed dowa with a jeavy frown at the frank, handsome face t the young officer, till he saw the fea iiie twitch, the eyea open and stare wouderiugly into his; and once more the ;riiouer, roused by the presence of an uber guzing upon his sleeping face, sud leuly sprang up. . "You herel" "Yea. air, I'm here," said Bart. "What for? Why?" "Nothing much, air; only to teil you that you can go." "!o?" cried the captain, excitedly. "Yes, air. Captain Jack's orders where you like, so long as you don't try to escape." "Hut I must escapef' cried Humphrey, (Ugrily. "TelJ the captaiu I will nut giTe ny parole." "He don't want It, air. You can go where you like, only if you try to escape you will be shot." Humphrey Armstrong rose from where iie bad been lying and made aa if to go to the door, his face full of excitement, his eyes flashing, aud his band all of a tremble. "There, the sickness baa passed off. Now help me out into the sunshine." Humphrey Armstrong waa weaker from his wounds thau he believed; but the change from being shut up in the dim temple chamber with the great stoue idol for company to the comparatively free open air of the forest clearing rapidly restored the elasticity of hia nature, and gave him ample opportunity for studying the state of affairs. He found that the buccaneers went out but seldom, and that when expedites were made they would be fairly divided. At oue time the captain would be in com mand, at another the lieutenant, xo that their settlement was never left unpro tected. As far as be could judge, they were about s hundred in number, and great dilapidated chambers in the range of temples and palaces formed admirable barracka and meana of defense, such as In time of need coald easily be held against attack. But Humphrey's great idea waa to es cape; and to accomplish this it seemed to him that hia first need was to open up communication with bis men. This he determined to accomplish, for with the liberty given it seemed to be a very easy thing to walk to some heap of stones at the edge of the forest and there seat himself till he was unobserved, when he could quietly step Into the dense thick et, and make his way to where his fol lowers were imprisoned. He bad not long to wait, for it seemed that, after being closely watched for the first few days, the latitude allowed to him was greater. He bad but to walk to the edge of the forest and wait, for the op portunity was sure to come. The forest psth bad evidently been rarely uaed of late, for the soft earth showed no imprints, the tender sickly growth of these deep shades had not been crushed: and as Humphrey realized these facts, be glanced back, to see bow easily his trail could be followed each step he had taken being either impressed in the vegetable soil or marked by the crushing down of moss or herb. . The sight of this impelled him to addi tional effort, ao tbat he might gain some definite information about bis people, and perhaps seek them by night, when once be had found the means of communica tion. In this spirit be was hurrying on when be came suddenly, ia one of the darkest paths, upon a figure which bar red his way, and it was with the addition of a rage-wrung savage exclamation tbat be uttered his captor's name. There waa a dead silence in the dark forest as these two stood face to face, buried, as it were, in a gloomy tunnel. After Humphrey's impatient ejaculation, quite a minute elapsed; and tben. half mockingly, came in a deep, low voice: "Yea! Commodore Junk!" Humphrey stood glaring down at tbe obstacle iu hia path. He was tsll snd athletic, and, in apite of his weakness and the talea be bad beard of the other's powers, he felt that he could seize this man, hurl him down and plant bis foot upon hit (heat; for the buccaneer captain was without weapons, and stood looking up at him with one bsnd resting upon his hips, the other raised to his beardless face, with a well-shaped, small index finger slightly impressing hia rounded cheek. "Yes," he said mockingly, "Commodore Jiu:k! Well, Humphrey Armstrong, what mt"1 fit is this?" "Mad fit!" cried Humphrey, quickly re covering himself. "Yoa allowed me to be at liberty, snd I am exploring the place." The ti'ic nneer looked la his eyes, with tbe mocking smile .growing more marked. "Is tbU Captain Hamphrey Armstrong, brave commander seat to exterminate me and mine, stooping Ui make a misers ble irnse-to tell a lie?" -A be'." cried Humphrey, areata, aa he took a step la ad vases. "Tea, s lir said tki baacaasar, with out moving a niuncle. "Yoa were trying to find some way by which you could es cape." Humphrey waa silent. "Come. Captain Humphrey; you will Buffer for this. There are chills aud fevers in the depths of this forest which aeize upon strangers like you, especially upon those weakened by their wounds, and I do not want to lose the ulbccr aud gentleman who is to be my friend and help here, where I am. as it were, alone." j "Your friend aud help!" said Hnm I phrey. haughtily. "I am your prisoner, t sir; but you forget to whom you are speaking. How dure you ask me to lick ! my fate with that of your cutthroat band to share with you a life of plunder aud I disgrace, with the noose at the yard-arm of every ship in his majesty'a navy wait ing to end your miserable career?" lie made a clutch at the nearest branch to sajre fcii!ie!f, for his Dead jwam. black spots veiled in mist and strangely blur red seemed to be descending from above to form a blinding veil before bis tyea. He recovered himself for a moment, long enough to resent the hand stretched out to save him, and then all waa blank, and with a hoarse sigh he would have fallen heavily but for the strong sruis that caught him, held him firmly for a few moments, and then a faint catching tih was heard in the stillness of the for-st, a Humphrey Armstrong was lowered slowly upon the moss and a soft browu band laid upon his forehead, as the buc caneer bent down upon one knee by his side. "Want me7' said a deep, low voice; and the buccaneer started as if from a dream, with his face hardening, aud the wrin kles which bad been smoothed reappear- iug deeply in the broad forehead. "You here, Bart?" "Ay, I'm here." "Cire me a lift and I'll carry him back." All this was done, and Dinny summon ed, ao that wheu, an hour later, Hum phrey unclosed his eyes, it was with hia head throbbing with fever, a wild, half delirious dreaminess troubling hi.s braiu. aud tbe great stone Image glaring down at biro through the dim green twilight of the prison room. It was a bitter experience for the pris oner to find that be had overrated bis powers. The effort, the excitement, and the malaria of the forest prostrated him for a fortnight, and at tbe end of thut time he found that he was in no condi tion to make a further attempt at secur ing the meana of escape. "You're to beep to your prison till fur ther orders," said Bart one day as be entered the place. "Who says ao?" cried Humphrey, an grily. "Lufftenant." "What! Mazzard V "Yes. sir. Hia orders." "Curse I.ietit. Mazzardr cried Hum phrey. "Where is the captain?" No answer. "Is this so-called lieutenant master here?" "Tries to be," grumbled Bart. "The captaiu is away, then?" "Orders are not to answer questions," said Bart, abruptly; and be left the cham ber. Midday arrived, and Humphrey was looking forward to the coming of Dinny with hia meal. The Irishman lightened hia weary hours, and every time he came the captive felt some little hope of win ning him over to help him escape. "Ah, Diuny, my lad!" he said, as be heard a step, and tbe banging curtain was drawn aside. He stopped and listened, for a voice whispered from somewhere close at Land the word "Kelly!" "Yes; what is it? Who called?" said the prisoner, aloud. There waa a momentary silence, and tben a peculiar whispering voice said: "Don't be frightened." "I'm not," said Humphrey, trying to make out whence the voice came, and only able to surmise that it was from somewhere over the dark corner where he slept. "But where are you?" "Up above your chamber," was the reply. "There is a place where tbe stones are broken away." "Then I am watched," thought Hum phrey, as the announcement recalled the captain. "Can you we me?' he asked. "I cannot see you where you are now, but I could if you went and lay down upon your couch." "Then I'll go there," said Humphrey, crossing the great chamber to throw him self on tbe blankets and skins. "Now, then, what do you want with Dinny?" "I knew tbe captain had gone to sea," said the voice, evasively; "but 1 did not know Kelly had been taken, too. He cannot be, without letting me know." "Listen!" said Humphrey, quickly. "You are Mistress OreenbeysT' "Yes." "And you lore Dennis Kelly?" There was silence. "You need not fear me. I know your history," continued Humphrey. "You are, like myself, a prisoner, and in the power of that black-looking lieutenant." "I am a miserable slave, sir." "Yes, yea, I know. Tben look here, csn we not all escape together?" "Escape, air! How?" "Through Dinny's help." "He would not give it, sir. It would be Impossible. I I there! I will speak out, sir I caD bear this horrible life do longer! I have asked bim to take me away." "Well, will he not?" "He Is afraid, sir." "And yet be loves you?" "He says so." "And you believe It, or you would rot run risks by coming here." "Risks," said the woman, with a sigh. "If Mazzard knew I came be would kill me!" "The wretch!" muttered Humphrey. Tben, aloud, "Dinny must help us. Woin- ; an, surely yon ran win blm to onr side! 1 You will try?" "Try. sir! I will do anything!" "Work upon his feelings, and I will try and do tbe same," The curtain dropped. Humphrey stood listening and thinking. Finally be ose. and without any hesitation walked straight out through the opening, and made his way along tbe corridor to where tbe sun blazed forth. ! The prisoner made s bold dash in a fresh direction, going straight toward where be believed bis men's quarters to be; sad. as before, the moment be pass ed behind the rains be found himself fact to face with a deose wall of ver dure. Defeated bare, be tried another ad Bother place, till bla perseversnce , waa rewarded by the fladiag of one of I the dark, aaaaa-llke paths 'erased by a at- t!i., anay the smaller growth and ata zuk'iug through the trees. Into this dark pathway he plunged, ta find at the end of bve minutes he bad lost all idea, through it abrupt turns, of the direction in which be was going: whil! before be bad penetrated much , further the pathway forked, aud, un able to decide which would lead bim to i the required direction, be took the path to the right. This sudjeuly debouched upon another going across it at right angles, and after a moment's hesitation the prisoner turn ed to the left, and to his great delight found that be bad solved one of the topo graphical problems of the place, for this led toward what was evidently tbe outer part of the buccaneers' settlement, and of this he had proof by bearing the smoth ered sound of voices, which became clear as he proceeded, and at last were plainly to te made. at Mowing-. from a mined, building standing upon a terrace. (To be continued.) The l'uni.liliielits (il a School. When tbe John Worthy School of Chi cuko was created there was uu law on the statute b mAs prohibiting dogging, and so the institution tlojjiatl. Koou su- clety heard of It, raved, fomented and I sprinkled protests in the newspapers, I and afternoon teas, appalled but not speechless, wert- agKg with Indignation, and the preut city council, Btirred by the feminine fluster, put, as it were, a gag on society's mouth by euueting an ordinance making corporal punishment unlawful. Then tbe solitary cell, known otherwise as the solitary, or, vernacu larly, as "the hole." tauie into exist ence solitary confinement for one, two or three days, according to tbe offenue. But It was found tbat offenses were committed for which solitary confine ment of any length of time would be too severe but which still ought to be checked by proper reprimand. To sup ply this want a new aud peculiarly punitive device was contrived. In course of time It became known as "ploughing." u term suggestive of any thing but prison life. This new punish ment consisted of continuous walking about the four aides of a large rectan gular hall, the walking being Incessant under watch of a guard, and of a dura tion Bufliclect la length to penult the sufferer to bear at least one meal gong to which he could not respond. Thom as A. Steep, In Leslie's Monthly for Au gust. What Is Electricity? At a time when electricity Is rapidly transforming the face of tbe globe, when It has already In great measure annihilated diwtance and bids fair to abolish darkncBH for us. It Is curious to notice how completely Ignorant " tbe plain man" remains as to the later de velopments of electrical theory. Some recent correspondence, tsays a writer in the Academy, has led me to think that a vague notion that electrici ty la a fluid which in some mysterious way flows through a telegraph wire like water through a pipe ia about as far as be has got; and if we add to tbbi some knowledge of what be calls "electric shocks," we should probably exhaust his Ideas on tbe subject Yet this Is not to be wondered at Even the most Instructed physicists can do nothing but guess as to what electricity Is, and tbe only point on which, they agree Is as to what It is not. There la, In fact a perfect consensus of opinion among scientific writers that It Is not a fluid 1. e., a continuous stream of ponderable matter, as U a liquid or a gas and that It is not a form of energy, as la beat Outside this limit tbe sci entific Imagination Is at litrty to roam w here It llsteth.H ud although It has used this liberty to a considerable extent, at) definite result has followed to the present time. Harcahiu that Failed. lie is such a little man only 3 years old yet he Insists upon Intruding his presence and advice upon his elders, often to tbeir Intense annoyance. It was only a few days ago that bla mother and bis Aunt Belle were dis cussing some household problem something that an infant was Dot sup posed to know anything about Sud denly Cliff appeared upon the scene, and In a moment was Informing both of the feminine members of the fam ily Just what tbe facts were. "Oh, Wisdom, when did you arrive?" exclaimed Aunt Belle, thinking that she might be able to "squelch" the youngster. "Just come dls mlnlt," replied tbe mite, not In tbe least abashed by the sarcasm. And Aunt Belle gave It up as a hopeless case. Dulutb News Tribune. Five lioona of Life. In the morning of life came tbe food fairy with ber basket and said: "Here are gifts. Take oue, leave tbe others. And be wary, choose wisely; O, choose wisely! for only one of them is valuable." Tbe gifts were Ave: Fame, Love, Riches, Pleasure, Death. Tbe youth said eagerly : "There Is no need to consider," and be cbose Pleasure. He went out Into tbe world and sought out the pleasures that youth delights In. But each In turn waa short lived and disappointing, vain and empty; and each, departing, mock ed blm. In tbe end be said: These years I have wasted. If I could but cbooite again, I would choose wlsely."-Mark Twain In Harper's Weekly. Apace with the Tim Fa, "Yes," said tbe landlord of the pic turesque old tavern, "I am going to al ter my 'Accommodation for Mao and Beast' sign." "In what way?" queried the tourist "Why, I am going to put up: 'Accom modation for Man and Automobile.' " To ascertain the correct age of a bona, ask the ewaer aad multiply ala snartar bjr two. 8UPP0SE WE SMILE. HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM THE COMIC PAPERS. Pleasant Incidenta Occurrina the World Over eayings tbat Are Cheer ful to Old or Young Funny Selec tions tbat Everybody Will Kujor. "Women are certainly queer crea tures." remarked the old physician. , "What Is it now?" asked the drus I "Why," answered the old pill dis- ! penser. "I Just received a poatal card from a woman patient marked 'Per sona .'" - - - Had Not Itecidrd. Theatrical .Manager Here's a letter from the lithographer, and he wants to know what will be the color of your bai this season." Actress Tell him I'll wire him next week. Very Active. Jones Were you there when they passed around the cheese? Smith Yea; I took an active part Best Course. "Husband," walled the speckJed hen, "I laid my c-ggs high up in the loft and some one took tbcui. What should I do now?" "Lay low!" chuckled the red rooster, as he strutted away. Ilia Confession. "To what" asked the inquisitive per son, "do you owe your success In life?" "To my wife," replied the mail who was in tbe tax-dodger class. "Would you mind giving me further de4albj?" asked the 1. p. "Details are scarce," replied tlie cap italist. "I simply married a widow who had half a million ba cold cash." An Awful Jolt. "I say, barbae," queried the very young man as he paused at tbe door of a crowded tonaorlaj parlor, "how long will I aw have to wait fob a abave?" "Oh," replied the barber as he glanc ed at the beardless face of the speak er, "you might come back In a couple of years." Not a ' onplimcsL "I see Reginald has changed his mind and decided to prosecute the owner of the automobile that ran over hJm." "Yoa, Indeed. At first be thought it was the racing machine of a Newport millionaire, but now be finds It only belonged to a common broker." Use leas. Sue Yes, It was terribly lonesome dowu to the beach. No one to make love. Belle But you said there was one man down, there? Sue Yes; but he was no use to us. He was the "armless wonder" from the museum. Did Not Understand. "What on earth's tbe matter with Mrs Safte, anyhow?" "Jealous of fiafte, I gueaa. Sbo's been made ever since be told ber the other day that he was going to buy a new ribbon for bin typewriter." A Draw, Summer Boarder-Tell me something to decide a bet Is that horse of yours older than the wagon? The Farrner-They're twIns.-Puck. Like a Hook. "Mm. Judson says she knows her husband like a book." "Vm, and she treau bim like one." "How's that?" "Treat blm carelessly aad Shut Wm up." Keadr to Take Chaaeea. First Old Maid-Weil, yoa know, uiflrrlnge Is a lottery, and I truly be lieve It Hecond Old Mai I -Ho do I! But wbera do you suppose I could get a ticket? A Tsj llrated. Ping-That fellow Oraaplt aortal aly knows the value of a dollar. Pong-Been trying to borrow oa ot sdsaT-klcago Nowa, f Practical Kaperlence. I "What we require," said the man aging editor, "Is the services of a man capable of taking full charge of oaf Qnery Box. Are you capable of an swering all kinds of questions?" "Well, I rather guess yes," repUd the nppllt ant "I'm the father of elev en children." Chicago News. Awaited. Young Man- So Mlsa Ella la jro oldest slsler? Who comes after bar? Small Brother-Nobody ain't cos na yet; but pa hays the first fellow thai comes can have her. Pearson's. In tiood hape. "That young BiinbT who married tho Mixer girl says he's going right to bouseke)lu." "Indeed. Is he well fixed?" "I gue, he is. One of his frlcnaw told ine that he had enough coal lat him through the winter." Cleve land Plain Dealer. 1 lie Keul Problem. "Do you expect that you will be obis to make a Dying machine that wlU reaiiy uy " "I'm absolutely certain of It" at swen-d L.e Inventor. "It's no trouble at all to gt-i a Hying machine to H7 The dinicuity is to inuke oue that wbb let you nave aotue idea of which way It la go.n.' aud bow it will lighk" Washlu.'iou Sur. A i Advantage, "Wealth has its embarrassments." "Yes," uuswered Mr. Cumrox with- sigh. "It's u great advantage to a man to be able to say he must stay at boa aud wo-k instead of being draaja around from one fashionable resort another." Washington SUir. Tue Worriel Housewife. Husband -What have you been kxaw lug so biuc about all day, my dear? Wife I'm afraid our hired girl wa1 approve of our new waahwomaav Boston Post. They Coat Monev. She Certainly you have ansa friends? Ho Yes. but It take every eec I can rake and scrape. Town Toptea. r'uy to Go Off. "So your former employer Is cowbb ered a big gun?" interrogated sad friend. "Yes. a rapid fire gun," sighed aha clerk who had been discharged without notice. Weddina ftock. Customer (looking over the atocssV-j I can't see a useful thing In all youl stock. 1 Jeweler Of course you can'tl These are all wedding presents. Pearson's. Point of View. Duet "Who m the world weaM want to ue that stuff?" Enjoyable, "How did you enjoy tbe autanaahsls parade?' "Very much Indeed," answered tad timid pedestrian. "It was very graCM fylug to K.-e so many automobile pro prletors going along peacefully, all ks honor bcuiid not to run over the peoptd In front of them." Washington Star. 1 be I. ate A rrival. "Was old Bender sober when b came bo tin last night?" "Jude for yourself. He thought lightning bug was a street lamp and tried to light his cigar by It." Cbleags .Sews. The Only One. Madge What's the prise In the girls' ping pon- tournament? Marjorlf -The young man who baa Just arrived.-- Puck. The 'I horn and tbe lioa. Mrs. Teiunertou- I've got the deareal old darling of a husband that ever hap peiied. He has an awful temper and about cin e a mouth be gets mad and tears up n.y lest bat. Miss ;sn: .-leton And vou call hbtn a dear old darling after that? How can you? Mrs. Temnerton WclL you see. ha always has a fit of remorse next day and buys me a better one." Kiedlv's Preference. "What d.x Freddy Ilka to playr asked the caller. "Freddy." replied papa, "liken ta play w hn ever game mamma and I decide are too rough for blm." Well Watered. Htubb You complain about streets being dump. Why, I know city where the streets art always field of writer. Peim--What city Is tbat? Htubb Venice. Hut nt Hatlalar. The An' iiur- i ills la all nons about the literary profession being iin heaUiy. The Pot t-Of eoiime. Why, H la taa greatest appetite producer ba too worlds Inipnaalble, Big;;:-They cay Mrs. Oabblotoa b) guilty of tiu attempt at blackmail. D'.ggR f don't believe It Biggs- Why not? IMasa woman at tblua of accepting "aaaa
