T
w w
I,
3...
lb Htrrbon Prcss-Jjarnal
A C. BDKKK, rKOPHIKTOB
URBISOS,
NEBRASKA
Immersion Is the German water cure
for pirate craft
Oount Boni de Castellans has just
Bought a chateau In France. The I
Gould roads have been making money
lately.
It has been remarked with some de- characterized It as "fresh, alive, readi
gree of unanimity, also, that the salt ly responsive, full of healthy curiosity
tnut baa eone ud the river of the same
Young King Alfonso wants to have
It distinctly understood that he intends
to do the cutting up for the whole
family.
The Duke of Marlborough declares
be will never set foot on American soil
What have we done to deserve
thia kindness?
Here's the best news of the day:
When the school bell rings in Porto
Bico 1,200 schools are filled with 50,
000 future Americans.
Whistling soloist weddings are among
the latest Eastern fads. We shall next
hear of somebody whistling "Lead
Kindly Light" at a funeral
It the Duke of Veragua resembled
his illustrious ancestor of the period
of 1492 be would be a good man to
In search of the North Pole.
England Is disposed to admire Amer
ica's public school system. Every now
tad then England discovers something
worthy of attention in this country.
book lover who lent two or three
and forgot where, is advertising for
tfaem in the papers. Never lend a
cc. Whst &rc the
the bookstores for?
A girl has applied to the Circuit
Court to have her name changed.
There are lots of other girls who could
tell her a quicker and more satisfac
tory way of securing the same result
Peary says the arctic regions would
be the best place to send consumptives.
This suggests a reason why he wished
to discover the North Pole. He may
have planned to convert it into a
health resort
An Eastern scientist predicts that in
five years the air ship will take the
place of the automobile. Are we to
understand from this that in five years
the air ship will get to killing others
heaides those who operate it?
According to Rev. A. B. Simpson, the
celebrated pocket compeller, the "nov
el and books that are given to our
young people to read to-day are a scan
dal and a disgrace. They are clever,
aye, very clever. As clever as the devil,
hi fact" This is unjust to the devil.
If that old serpent Is not cleverer than
!X per cent of the books read by "our
young people," then he is as much of
an ass as the legends make him out to
be.
Mr. Rockefeller's gift to science in
tfie form of an endowment of patho
logical research has already borne most
interesting fruit. If It la true, as re
torted, that investigators working un
der the endowment have discovered the
germ of cholera infantum. Anything
which should help to prevent or check
e ravages of a disease which carries
ff ao many thousands of children ev
ery summer would make Mr. Rocke
feller's gift one of the most valuable
the world has ever known.
"Wealthy and wonderful" la as good
am alliterative phrase to be applied to
the West aa "wild and woolly." More
over, It haa the advantage of truth.
The new civilization of the plains is
pictured by a recent Incident ten miles
from a Kansaa town. A farmer, riding
uader an awning on a aulky plow met
nl the end of bis farrow, the rural mail
vagon. The driver toaaed the farmer
i handle of mall and as the team took
.: Ita steady coarse back across the
jlf-mlle Held, the farmer unfolded
the dally paper, printed that morning
two hundred miles away, and read the
happenings In China and the news of
law political campalga.
' Burglars should always be polite, but
one of them are carrying refinement
f manners to the point of Insolence.
Far example, the burglar who made a
Business call at a house la Thirty-first
street. New York. For twenty minutes
h searched the house for keepsakes,
tie in while, outside, one man was look
lag for a policeman and another man
was waiting for the caller to come out,
mt. Inside, the burglar alarm was sput-
away and not alarming the bur-
At ths and of that tune ha came
the steps calmly, lighted a cigar,
walked jauntily past the watcher and
disappeared. We should hate to be con
rpBCad that a gantUianly bwgiar can
at aagsatleaanly, bat K was Insulting
a CM watcher to samater hy hlaa, and
Cs tigar was a datal paaMraly srro-
Cm rvrotetlaM art aaBasfcBC Tbs
Xtsyrraata aaaa who akjaetoi to his
K 'y wrfttsa rotes of
bUIbiiI ty aa
I CM t lafassd to "take a bath all
wt wash," m "to t to ehorch
) filter atawsV hat basaass ha
Cat U was Bat bevatf to
'niCMat fMshsf hjaaaif to
43t BsGlsBaW flfsstflftfL TltWB
f e bin wife deoerted blm and demand
ed a regular allowance for her support
But Bhe forgot that the applause of a
woman's club Is not necessarily tb?
edict of a court of justice, and Mr. Sut
ton Is now free to marry a woman who
will not present hini with a written
ordT to "get up at 5 o'clock without
calling you." Little by little, with the
j helpful support of the judiciary, we
j men are getting back to the old busi-
news basis.
That was a good word which An
thony Hope Hawkins said recently In
I appreciation or me modern novel. He
ronri-en t .hu .,,-.. .!
I .,,, " , .?'
' r- - - j v. ucw ripvi n-uiT. lie
I further said: "Its faults ire not the
vices of decadence, but defects of viril
ity and confidence." The word of as
surance is a relief from the chorus of
wailing that comes from critics who
j affect to survey the field of fiction, and
; f no Thackeray, no George Eliot, a
"y p-. v xuom-
" "aruy PretemnS w write poor
r8ryof SontrsThey 2d,K
Uttle Idea of goHf art ana care less.
The Immense sales of novels which
non h,- v.
crude taste of the public seeking the
popular sensation. Is the case so bad ?
son for being and that a good one?
"The Crisis" may not be a geat work
i - t .
nf art hut it resnnnrla in a Aat,i lnpol
sentiment of the American people,
evoked anew by the Spanish war and
by comparison reviving Interest in the
earlier critical period- "The Octopus"
may not be Immortal. It has its
weak points, bnt a moral as well as
economical principle is at stake in
which the public at large la Interested.
The work of fiction which deals with
a question of this kind is sure to have
large sales and numberless readers.
The Intensely practical life of to-day
must eventually find expression in a
fniitr tar-tiMiir imv ittnf u rris rm ww inn i
for beauty found artistic expression in
Greece and the passion for religious
feeling is shown in the art of the mid
dle ages. Art in any new direction Is
slow in coming to perfection. Mean
while critics sigh over the past with
out looking to see prophetic glimpses
of new and perhaps better things.
When Browning's "Paracelsus" first
appeared the London Athenaeum saw
no promise of the future Browning. It
dismissed the work In three lines: "Xot
without talent but spoiled by obscu
rity, and only an Imitation of Shelley."
It Is never worth while to cling too
regretfully to the past, and critics
would do better to look for signs of
promise in the mass of what they are
disposed to pronounce mere verbiage.
They may then come to Anthony
Hope's conclusion and find the faults
which they lament to be the defects of
virility and confidence and not the
vices of decadence.
The Quiet Man in the Corner.
I lingered o'er a checker game a uigbl
or r - ago;
The one played against rue seemed
t no ghost of show;
I had a hunch of lusty kings that strutted
all alxjiit
And bullied my opponent's men, who
dstml not venture out
'Way over in a corner shrunk a timid
little man
Who staid right in his station ever since
the frame began.
He watched my crowned heads marching
by with banner and with song.
And seemed to be discouraged over stand
ing still so long.
But pretty soon an opening occurred two
blocks away,
And not another moment did that littls
fellow stay,
He bounded o'er the board and took three
kings in one fell swoop,
Then landed in my king-row with a wild,
ecstatic whoop.
You've known these quiet fellows that
just sat around and thought
And never made a noise while the others
raged and fought;
The whole community had come to think
of them as dead,
Or else so very near it that their hope of
fame had fled.
The chaps with recognition for their por
tion pose and strut
And seem to overlook the man who keepx
his talker shut
But some day, when 'moat every ene in
looking t'other way,
This quiet fellow sees a chance to break
into the play.
He reaches oat and grabs things that
the others bad ignored;
He put into the life-game all the energy
he's stored
Through all the years of silence. So
you'd better not forget
A still man in the comer, for he'll reach
the king-row yet!
Los Angeles Herald.
Taming the Tables.
Among the students at a Chicago
medical college was one who frequently i
Wed to "play to the galleries" by twist-, ,Iow 'w, mwt !n Ilfe' , Q
Ing bl. answer, to such a way a. to weU.b.lanceA. who have that ex
raise slsugh. Bt one day the laugh MlK lte wul(;n ,-baracteristle of
went against him. ssys the Ohlcage cbar.-ter! - November
Record-Herald.
One of his hits, although not at all
original, was bis description of a re
markable red bst be bsd sesn. The class
was much interested, but the professor )
was skeptical, and Intimated that he
should be better atlsfled If be were to '
asa It I
Tre brought It with me," said the'
sxoaent ana uking the paper off a
psf!kats be exhibited a brick hit.
The other day be was asked shout the
origin of cholera.
"Asia, they ssy," he answered, "bat
from my own sxperieooe I should aa
It waa la the abdominal region."
"I did not mean cholera Infantum,"
remarked the professor, blandly, sad
the joker couldn't sea for
what tbs others wars krafhtac at
Whoa ro look at
to
first tbtef yoa tfctok of to a.
THE WIFE IN BUSINESS.
,,., ' ,
MANS wife often knows more
than he does about a grea
rrmnw thfncra nl a-K U ka rw.rwt
not lower himelf in he, tlm.tlA
admitting her mental superiority. It is
sometimes well for him to silently ree-
w . ... ..
wl" lur mm lo '
ognize her superior Intelligence, ami
profit by it. If he is a wise man, he
.wiU.uot.be too ready tGeome into ac
cord with the opinions of bis wife, but
will affect a great deal of wisdom of
his own, even though he knows he has
gpect for h),r buband t0 know that he
to her lnf,rior ,a anyth!ng and ,t Cer.
tafn doeg not lncrea8e her t
affectlon to ha , ,nUma.0 hl vn ,
J 'J"
ln " ain it
1 m u , t. A
money is often better than that of the
average man, particularly when it
comes to spending money for domestic
purposes. It takes a shrewd tradesman
t0 e a verage sensible woman,
, T l "
work off stale goods on the average
man; and the most conceited man might
as well acknowledge frankly that his
wife can attend to most of the affairs
of her own household better than he
can attend to them for her. Women very
often have the most acute perception
regarding busfnesa affairs. If men
would only "talk business" with their
wives. Instead of taking it for granted
that women "don't understand any
thing about business." there would
probably be fewer failures. Many u
successful business man owes his suc
cess to the keeiineu nf liulirniont of
i farlner hose Dalne does DOt aI'Pear
In the firm or over the shop window.
and who is not supposed to have any
connection with the business and
that partner is bis wife, In whom he is
wise enough to confide. Housewife.
Ifunirina of Pictnre.
To give the walls of a room a digni
fied and restful feeling, nothing must
be placed upon them to disturb the
vertical effect A wall shoulu remain
a fiat surface. The first illustration
shows a picture hung with two hooks
so that the wire forms vertical lines
that harmonize with the lines of the
frame. The picture Mug fiat againHt
the wall casts no unrestful shadows.
The second illustration shows a very
HOW TO HAJfO riCTCKta.
common but mistaken fashion of hang
ing pictures. Here the eye is dis
tracted from the picture, which ttttouid
TIT 1 'Btere,it, tTh1 bli,U:
' ' ' v""'
overhanclne frame is still more no In
fact all the lint
., .. . . ' :
confuse the eye, so '
that a wall thus
bung wiUi picture
autlful or reasonable ,
Uc standpoint-Good
can never be be
from as artistic
Housekeeping.
Tranquillity.
Who does not love a tranquil heart
a sweet-tempered, balanced life? It
does not matter whether It rains or
shines, or what misfortunes come to
those possessing these blessings, for
they are always sweet, serene and
calm.
That exquisite poise of character
which we call serenity is the last les
son sf culture, It is (he flowering of
life, the fruitage of the soul
It is as precious as wisdom, more
to be desired than gold yea, than
even fine gold. How contemptible
mere money-wealth looks In compari
son with a serene life a life which
dwells ln the ocean of truth, beneath
the waves, beyond the reach of tem
pests, in the eternal calm!
How many people we know who
sour their lives, who ruin ail that is
sweet and beautiful by explosive tern
pers, who destroy their poise of char
acter by bad blood! In fact, It Ik a
question whether a great majority of
riAstnlsk sfst tint niln tlift 1 1 &u wi ,
h.rinln laMr , Zi?";
Saccess.
The New Woman.
Oh, "New Woman!" you who face
the twentieth century with the secret.
eii-compiaisani reneciion trial you
m highest production of your sex.
loo Back with bouest impartiality to
e woman of colonial days-and grow
bumble. Tou are priding yourself not
a little because you are a graduate of
Smith, af Wellesley, Vaster, or some
other great college, that you tan stir
your dobs with scholarly theses or
easy-flowing words, that you are pro
ficient to domestic science. Informed
politically, that yon are traveled; B
short, are a brilliant, cultured, at-
i tract! a women, drilled to meet the
tauag exigencies of modem life. Par
aoa me if I draw your attention to
tha fast that all your life equipment
Mr to) Boaalroa by aay wemaa af
ooo
average endowments opportunity per
mining. Your real fiber has nevei
, bwn t to . straln
you the Tast co J ,
. . 1 r1" '
' " . - "s 'vu ,luu '"ur uue ln
: i Sl'ncw to the cneerful making of can
dies, cheese and medicines? to wash
ing and carding wool, spinning, weav
mg ana knitting, to eternal mending
brewing and baking? Could you stifl
your yearnings to quietude while yoi
cuurnea. wove clumsy carpets, and did
a hundred other homely things? Anc
ir you oore the test, would you bavi
spirit left for dancing minuets, foi
musing yourself a charming, ever
hospitable hostess, for keeping it
touch with the greater affairs aboui
you, and finally for Insuring to youi
children (as only a mother can Insure
the gladness of childhood, suite oi
dangers, ever surrounding you? fioof
Housekeeping.
Fashions change so rapidly that tbert
are few homes where the remodeling
of last season's gowns does not becomt
a necessity, and the question to be con
sidered is how It may be done lu the
most satisfactory manner. In some
large places there are dressmakers whe
make a specialty of making di 'esse?
,4S kiJCSSI
over, and derive a good Income froiBl"quor over lw nr0' C0V4'r f,,,a slm"lpr
if. bnt many women do their own
ing, which is a great saving, and witb'Add ,hree P0"111 of Knr and l"
the aid of good patterns the results ai
ery satisfactory.
If one wishes to accomplish a great
deal of work in a short time, it is Im-m
to have a small room set apart for th
sewing room. One cannot keep the
iwmi ueai n such worn is uoni
there, and this consideration, as well a;
m- luimuu oi uie lamny, win well re
pay me expense of heating a separat
room. There should be a good machine'
a cutting table, a large and well-0tte:
6rfc-rsket. and a set of drawers foi
Keeping pieces or various materials
it-ji nrrm uressf-s ana oilier garments.
spools of silk and cotton thread, vn
finished sewinir etc. A -ir skirt 7.,
I a great convenience, enabling one t fu! of DlUk' one ('RS' "u-,'"lf lful "f
see at a glance whether they are even b"U'r' one-half f',Pful of usar, one
all around or not A woman with a cupful of "PP""1 rnMn. one-half
room fitted with all the implement "Poonful each of ground cloves, clu
ueedei can accomplish almost twice a? namon aml nuitneg. one teaspoonful of
much as one whose tools are s-aUend, wJa- Mix ln fl(,ur Iike Hoft WW?
When a dress Is to be made over ii pr('ad 8,1(3 fJr"P ln "PoonfuJs ou butter
should 1m? ripped apart, every stliclj ?d tlnB- Bake quickly,
nicked out. and the cloth Knom-erl nn.i! .. . . ".""'..'" .
P b'f0rC ' 19 I,Ut tMPI a:lin I
uien roueu sutooiwy on a rol
i ri Th ,.mi..t . v
" ' nuiuiiu ouyi
good material, then when It become
faded or she grows tired of the color -
one or two packages of dye will make,
f Navy or In j
Is always a safe change. The briite"
shades are often preferred for children I
The sewing should' be done as careJ
fully as If It were a new garment fot
the little details make a great deal of
difference ln the appearance of a gown,
The safest plan for an amateur Is to
cut the lining of the waist and fit It on
the preon for whom it is intended,
before cuttJng the material. Get a good
pattern If you do not cut by a chart,
and follow the directions In the min-
utest details, and you can scarcely fal'
to obtain satisfactory results. The
skirt Is almost as Important as th
r.: T'.: Z::.:: I I . .
old-fashioned gores are easily shaped
without piecing. Two old skirts ma?
be used for one of the new ones with
the circular flounce, by using one foi
the gores and the other for the flounce
To Clean a flewlna; Machine,
To clean a sewing machine place II
near the flre to get warm, that the con
irealxl oil about It muv melt oiifl !,,
oil It thoroughly with paraffin. Work
It quickly for a few minutes, then wlp.
off all the paraffin and dirt treat it t
a little more clean paraffin, wipe
again, and after the application of s
very little of the ordinary lubricating
oil It will be ready for one. Peoplt
often shirk the trouble ef thoroughly
(-leaning their machines like this, hut
a cioggeo anu ueavy machine undei
this treatment will become like new,
and ita easy working will be an ainpl
reward for any trouble Inrurred.
To w..h HiJki..,.
All kinds of stockings require tsrefnl
washing. No soda should ever be used.
and the water should be only moderate-
ly warm for both wssblng and rinsing. luM' e,c" " P"tc n',(, ot oqual
After rlnalag, which should be done 'I"0"1 r hsved yellow soap, whit
in water conlslnlng a few drone of D al dlooled over the lira
liquid ammonia, dry tbeai nnlcklv om
of doors In a good current of air and
press with s warm bon when dry. Hllk
stockings require savers! rinsings, and
after pressing (not wringing) the wa-
tar oat of them and puMIng them lo
hspe they shoald be tbs ken ovt wall
ami lotted to a doth to aay.
Bean Pouo
DO"K P,Bl 01 oeans a" nlSnI- An lne
morning nut over the fire with two
quarts of cold water, a half-pouud of
salt pork, cut small; a pound of cracked
beef bones: an onion and a stalk of eel
ery, chopperf; salt and nepoer to taste.
Boll slowly for four or five hours, 01
until the llanid is reduced one-half
Strain through a colander, rubbing th
peas through also. Ileturn to the fire
stir In a tablespoonful of butter rubbe
; to a paste with one of flour, and whei
the soup boils up once serve.
Devil' Cake.
Half a cup of grated chocolate, hal
C"P of sweet milk, half a cup
brown sugar. Boil these Ingredients
together until thick as cream and let
cooL One cup of brown sugar, half
cup of butter, two eggs, beaten; two-
thirds of a cup of milk, vanilla flavor
Ing. Mix well, beat tn the boiled mix
ture, and two cups of flour sifted with
a heaping teaspoouful of baking pow
der. Bake in layers and when cool put
together with boiled frosting.
Boiled Ftuffed Chicken.
Boil till about half cooked enough
onions to fill the chickens to be cooked
and drain; mash them a little, moisten
with milk, season with salt and while
pepper and a chopped celery stalk or
two to them. Fill the chickens, truw
them, and boil till tender. Let the
water In which they boil cook away
slowly till only a half pint or so re
mains. Add to this half a pint of rich
cream, season as needed with pepper
ind salt, thicken and serve.
Oranite Marutalede.
Wash, seed and slice very thin
dozen oranges and two large lemons
If you have not a quart and a pint of
Juice add enough water to make thai
quantity of liquid. Put the fruit and
vw' siowiy until me peel is tender.
until the skin looks clear and Is like
jelly when poured In a saucer and
cooled.
Jatry.
Into a pound of flour chop a half
pounu or cqio, nrni nutter until you
have a coarse powder. Wet with a
teacup.'!;! of Iced water, work w
spoon to a paste, turn upr n a floured
board, roil out, fold over anil roll out
again, and repeat this process three
times. Put for two hours or longer In
the ice. then roll out and make into
pies. Have all ingredients ice cold.
California Cvkfe.
One cupful of molaws, one-half cup-
Trim the .teaks Z 11 and flatten; cov
ure lemon iuicp a little onl.m
' e ' " on J,)lce' a "me on!"n
juice,
cayenne penner and salt. At
y'nr u el Ju'",a .... . J. ... "
east an
"tnen .ght.X i
th(.n ln cr.,n,bg aml f,Z(, 1 V)r if i,
XTn'ave ft Erold !l
from the oil and put right on the grid
Ver 8 bot flre;
uiier-?cotch.
Put lnl a saucepan a cup of sugar,
cup of water ,wo tablespoonfuls of
vlnc6ar and a heaping tablespoonful of
butter. Boll steadily without stirring
,1D," a llttle dropped in cold water Is
brittle. Bemove from the flre, add a
tablespoonful of lemon Juice, turn into
buttered pan and mark off Into
squares,
Fudge.
Boil together a cup of milk, one ol
sugar and one of grated chocolate until
Then remove from the fire, add a tea-
spoonful of vanilla and beat until
creamy and granulated. Turn Into a
Kre!,Ml paD nd ,attrk off ,Dt0 "lure-
Brief Hlnia.
Never light a lamp with paper, foi
fragments of It are sure to drop off Into
the burner,
A little Wax In the last rinsing water
wl" ,mftke, b'l"Tchlefs easier to Iron
H,lu ,w "l,er wnPn Q0M-
To nUflte ground glass dissolve Ep-
ol beer and apply it with a
to '"e "" As It dries It crys
'anises.
Kulfe-cleanlng may easily be Der
formed by nibbing the knives over with
a slice of potato and tben polish In a
them witb lirlrk dust
Wash chamois leather In hk...m
soapsuds mid flnslly rinse In slightly
,.. of fh. MmH ,...,'
tof ""''"'f ';-,b" J" water
r,UM H 0 b"aa- r,r ' ?
1 ' nre'
For (,"ln( oameled baths, aloe
w,tn tn msllest quantity of water ro
aQlrrd t0 kP 11 tT,,m burning.
Boiled starch la much Improved by
the addition of a little salt or dissolved
n arable A useful thing to re mem-
Ixrh that tht bron will not stick to tbs
elotbea If the March used hag boaa
mixed with soapy water.
I
I
80CIAL INSTINCT OF ANTS.
Ioect Who Preferred Inty to ihi
tall of I'leaaure.
A swarm of formica pratensls wai
closely pressed in Its nest by an armj
of the aaine species, and crowds ol
alarmed defenders issued from the en
trance to the nest and flew to tak
part in the fight Like fiatan, th
tempter of old, I placed near tbetn I
drop of honey on a piece of paper, aayi
a writer in the International World.
At any other time the honey would
have been covered In a few Instant
with ants gorging themselves, but thii
time numerous working ants cam
upon it tasted it for scarcely a second
and returned to It restlessly three o
four times. Conscientiousness, th
feeling of duty, invariably prevailed
over gormandlsm, and they left tht
honey to go and be killed while defend
ing the community. I am bound U
own, however, that there are ants le
social in whom gormandism does pre
vail. Compared to the manner of other so
ciable animals, and especially to tfeos
of man, the manner of ants exhibits
profound and fundamental aggregation
of facts of convergence duo to their so
clal life. Let me mention devotion, tin
Instinctive sentiment of duty, slavery,
torture, war, alliances, the ral.slng ol
cattle, gardening, harvesting, and even
social degenerescence through the at
traction of certain harmful means oi
enjoyment It would be ridiculous and
erroneous to see in the fulfillment ol
this scries of acts individual reason
ing, the result of calculated reflectios
analogous to ours. The fact that eact
Is fixed and circumscribed within on
species, as well as the fatalistic char
acter It has In that species, prove tlili
superabundantly. But it would be ai
grave a mistake to refuse to recognize
the deep natural laws that are conceal
ed under this convergence, is the cas
different as regards our actions, tbongt
they are infinitely more plastic and
Uiore compieX itiuiViuiiaiiy 7 i uu Qui
believe it
I have been unable to give more thae
a short sketch of the social life of ants
Let each one study it for himself and
be will experience In doing so the deci
enjoyment that comes from soundini
the secrets and laws of nature, whll
at the same time he will enjoy the most
lellghtful satire njon human wretched
ness, and will perceive at least th
main lines of a social example that w
ought to be able to Imitate, though w
cannot do so on accourt of the too !arg
dose of egotistical and ferocious In
stincts that we have Inherited from oui
ancestors.
DOCTOR WAS TOO CLlVIR. j
n anonymous physician who hni
written some "confessions" for the In
dependent tells this story about him
self: "I received a request to call
from nn old patient who was afraid hIh
was taking scarlet fever. I responded
t once. The patient was one of tw
Iderly sislers whom I bad attended foi
many years. 1 greeted her In the sli
ng room and noted her pulse while Ic
he act of blinking minds with her. Itj
some witty remarks I contrived tt
make her laugh, which enabled me t
see her tongue. Then I said in a piny
ful tone; 'If you will get me a glass I
;ill treat you to mum- of iny pal em
soda water.' Hhe did so. I put a tab
t lu the water, and she drunk it. 1
want you to ksow that 1 take pride ir
my original methods. I try to edutati
my putlcnts to like, and not to dread
the visits of the doctor. In this caw
all of my work had been done without
the direct knowledge of the pntlent
and I felt very good over It. So I bad
my patient good -by with extreuu
cheerfulness. She looked surprised an
then said: 'Of course, you will conn
upstairs and see my sister?' "Not to
day,' I said. 'Give her my respects.
'Why,' she said, looking mystified nn
startled, 'how strangely you talk!
'Strangelyr I echoed. 'Whyr 'Be
cause I sent for you to prescribe fm
my sister and you decline to see her.
It flashed over my mind In an Instant
I had prescribed for the wrong sister
I was entirely too clever."
"Humorous Yankee Thief."
An American thief named Artliu.
Robinson has set Purls laughing by lib
repartee when arraigned for trlaL At
the paper 'publish pictures of "thi
humorous Yankee." Koblnson up
pcared in the criminal court and aske
that the trial be positioned because hli
attorney was HI snd unable to be pres
ent The Judge said be couldn't gram
the request because two postpone
ments had already been allowed.
"Have you confessed repeatedly thai
you were sentenced In the Unite
States for petit larceny; that you atoli
this man's pocketbook and struck thi
officer who arrested your" queried tin
magistrate,
"Yes, your Tlonor," Itoblnaon replied
"Then what could your lawyers snj
ln your defenser demanded the court
"That's Just wbst I'm curious t
know," the Yankee ssld, grinning. Hi
got six months In Jail.
Plainly Mtated.
Mr. ernlng-If you will only mar
ry me, I promise you I'll make you t
good hnsband.
Miss De Tsrmlnd Never fear! If I
decide to marry you I'll make you that
-Philadelphia Press.
"Bros e Board" Probably a Fiction
The first fourteen Ilomsn einperon
all snared their faces clean. There Is i
portrait boat representing Nora with I
beard, bat It la not believed to be aa
thcnfle.
A mtw toaralac oftoa
mat
