OPINIONS OF GREAT PAPERS ON IMPORTANT SUBJECTS
Activity in Church Building.
IT is often asserted that the churches are losing their hold
upas the people because the revelations of wienie, an in
creasing liberty of thought and act, and a destructive criti
cism have undermined their authority, but their growth ii
one of the most remarkable phenomena of the times. At
tention is called to it now by various news items concerning
church buildings- NV long afpi L w bsd descriptions, ot. the
trreat Ionian Catholic Cathedral in London, a magnificent
specimen of church architecture that might almo.ft suggest a
rivalry with some of the splendid medieval monuments to re
ligion. The other day it was reported fhat the Methodists had
fiaid $1,050,000 for a site in the same city on which to erect
a central headquarters that will be constructed on a grand
It ale.
Id New York plans have been completed for the new Itroad-
Church of St. John the Divine has cost million!, and the fine
Roman Catholic Cathedral which belongs to the same epoch,
though it la souiewat older, is another very imposing ami costly
tract ure.
These are but a few instances out of many which indicate
tlie continuing power and purpose of the churches to erect
elaborate and imposing" edifices. And the power is evidence
of vitality, for the contributions to these immense building
funds are more than ever voluntary. They can be explained
only by a large measure of popular approval and by an in
tense popular desire for extraordinary manifestations of church
loyalty.
But the cathedrals and other costly buildings tell only part
f the atory. It is said of the Methodists of this country that
they erect a church every day in the year, and if the assertion
Is not strictly true it is a fair as well as a vivid way of sug
gesting their activity in building. And as other churches ore
active also and effective according to their membership we
nave each year new churches enough to cover the site of a
good-sized town. Persons who proclaim the decline of the
churches should pause a moment to reflect upon these inter
rating and significant facts'. Chicago Beeord-Herald.
The Habit of Worrying.
T II ERIC was once a man who kept account of his worries
for a given length of tunc, and then reviewed the record
to see how these anxieties looked in the light of subse
quent developments. He said that out of all the worries
in which he had indulged himself during several years
n)y two bad any substantial basis, and these were trivial.
The experiment mlirht be a good one for some other folk to
try. There is no reason to suppose that worrying ever did a
Ingle human being one bit of good, and it has done an Im
mense amount of harm. In the Brut place, there is the time
ipent in this uncomfortable occupation which should have been
given to rest, recreation or actiinl work. Then there is the
vitality lost by it, which is often more than would suffice to
remove the cause of the worry, if properly applied. Third,
nd not by any means least, there is Die discomfort caused by
the recital of the anxious person's worries to other people.
Most of us have enough reason for irritation in our own
(flairs and in the real perplexities and griefs of our neighbors,
without troubling our heads over something which would be
Uncomfortable if it were to happen, but which has not hap
pened yet and may never coine to pass.
The habit of worrying is one which can be easily devel
ped, and almost as easily checked If taken in time. It is a
good plan, when one is made aware of a possibility of evil, to
ronaider first whether anything can be done to ward it oft at
the moment, and if so, to do it. If there is nothing to do but
wait then it Is the duty of any reasonable person to put that
worry resolutely aside and think of the pleaiautest or the most
absorbing topic within reach. Washington Times.
Use Care When Picking a Husband.
EVERY mother having a daughter of marriageable or
approaching marriageable age meditates now and then
on the sort of man she would be willing to have her
daughter marry, and young men who call at the house
are instinctively classified as eligible or not eligible. No
matter how firmly mothers may deny this impeachment, it is
the truth.
It would be interesting, however, and, perhaps, astounding,
to knew what sort of a man most mothers would pick out to be
their son-in-law. In this matter, strange to say, pride and vanity
sometime play a stronger part than love. Two things ought
to weigh most in making this choice; first, the charai-ter, and
second, the worldly proipecU of the man. Unhappily many
mothers and many daughters, too-allow a man's wealth nnd
ocial position to count for more than the man himself, livery
day oue sees fine girls given to dusulute, worthless fellows who
aappen to have inherited a fortune and a family name. A true
mother would rather see her child the wife of a decent boot
black than bound to a drunkard and a rake whatever bis wealth
and lineage, for a girl mated to a man whom she does not love
v.ill be unhappy, and what is the use of glory and splendor
If one has not happiness?
The man who is most likely to be a good huslp;uid is a
cleanly, positive man of the girl's own class. He need not be
"uandsome or rich or too good. He ought to be human and to
tiave had some experience with the world, for that 'pinlity
a.akes a man liberal and charitable. It will be well if he is
COLORADO MINING KING DEAD.
eut 7,(M)),()()() in hcarrhlnic for
Mother Lode at Cripple Creek.
Search for the world's greatest More
of gold was cut short by the death at
Colorado HpriiiKH of Wlnfleld Scott
Stratum, Colorado's bonanza king. Up
to the tlruc of his death Mr. Ktrattou
was spending $7),000 a month In sink
ing a shaft Into the heart of Battle
Mountain, In order to lny bare the
mother lode of precious tnetnl from
which all tlio fabulously rich veins of
Cripple Creek diverge. Hud this work
tiecu successfully consummated, the
on of a poverty-stricken boat-builder,
himself for ninny years a carpenter,
would have dlod unquestionably the
richest muii In the world. It would
have been a fitting climax to a life Unit
reads like a boy's story book of adven
tures. Wlnfleld Scott Stratton was born at
Jeffersonvllle, Ind., on July 22, IS-tH, be
lug the only son of Myron Ktriition, a
boat builder of tlint town. Hard work
at his father's craft occupied the boy's
curly youth, but his own roving dlspn
sltlon nml the lurid talcs of returning
'-titer from California soon made him
leave his home and drift rapidly out
Info the golden West, as thousands of
other young men were doing at that
time. Unlike most other young men,
however, Miration let mines and mining
strictly alone until he had earned by
tcadjr application to his work at a cur
neuter's bench a small capital of $.'1,000.
The latter portion of this sum was
amassed at Colorado Springs, where in
1873 the young blinking man made his
flriit venture Into the mining world. He
put all of his little fortune Into the
YrelabH mine In the Cunningham
Gulch, and never received one cent of It
back again. The experience Rave him
the mining fever, however, and fierce
determination to get back from the
bowela of the earth the money that be
Bid seen swallowed up there.
, i-i, n i, iituiisuiiu ; Aim can you
afford the one you want?" What a revolution in the world of
economics and finance were every one honestly to ask and
answer himself that question! Harper's Weekly.
It was the turning; point In Stratum's
career. He now felt mi Irresistible de
Hlrc to prospect for gold. Carpentering
lie pursued long enough each year to
secure money for an outfit, and the rest
of the time was spent in Investigating
every mining settlement In Colorado.
For almost twenty years Wlnfleld
Stratton sternly pursued this profitless
life of treasure-seeking, and at last he
"struck It rich." The Fourth of July,
1801, gave the tireless prospector his re-
W. B. BTIUTTOS.
ward in tbo staking out of the famous
Independence mine at Cripple Creek.
From this property Stratum 1ms been
drawing gold at the rate of $100,000 a
month ever since that time. Indeed,
for many years he gave Hlrlct orders
that Ills mine should not produce more
than tills Income, as be considered that
gold Inside a granite mountain was In
a much safer place than nny bunk or
safety deposit vault could offer him. It
Is even recorded that be sternly repri
manded bis entire mine crew because
during one mouth they Inadvertently
sent out 10,000 too much.
The Immense fortune gained from tbe
thoughtful of little thing, for the man who thinks of small
courtesies and kindnesses is unselfish. Let him have enough
to support a liome without pinching and let him have prospects
of improving his fortune. This is very important, for lore and
poverty do not always get on well together. A girl is a fool to
sell herself for an establishment, but she is no less a fool to
give herself away for nothing. Men and women love better
on a full stomach and affection must be ardent indeed to make
up for a "lean pantry and a cold stove, Girls should use their
beads in the game of love. The marriage of reason, fortunately,
is not an institution in this country, but the marriage of unrea
son is only too common, as the divorce records prove.
The mother who encourages her daughter to seek a good
match instead of merely a good husband is unworthy of exer
cising the privileges of motherhood. San Francisco Bulletin.
Is Success a True Test?
ONE of tie gravest problems confronting the reiigioui
leaders of the twentieth century is the idolization of that
magical word "success." American business and social
life has become thoroughly permeated with the religion
of the man who succeeds in lauding certain prizes for
which he has striven with every ounce of energy and intelli
gence he possesses. In fact, the man who succeeds, as the
world calls it, does so nine times out of ten at the cost of many
sentiments that he should cherish.
It Is the undoubted province of religion and of the sincere
believers in Christianity as it was founded by its Divine Leader
to attempt to make some headway against the gross material
ism that is sweeping over the breadth and length of the land.
One of the most distressing signs of the times is the ever ready
and apparently final "dollar gauge" that modern society ap
pears to have adopted as its one criterion of a man and his
works. The query, Does it pay? is but too often the sole ques
tion demanded when some proposal is made. The fellow query,
where it is an individual, follows pally, Does he make money?
Any sensible being understands that these questions have
their legitimate and most important sphere, but they hava
overrun these properly narrowed bounds and crept into the
very home and every social function of American society. A
very slight study of the teachings of Christ will reveal clearly
that such a condition is intrinsically opposed to a favored
growth of true religion and forms the dominant obstacle to
that religious revival so eagerly sought and so long delayed.
Baltimore Herald.
Good Roads.
GOOD roads are among the evidences of high civilization
or national necessity or an advance in prosperity. They
are certainly a luxury. At a more primitive period of
our own development, that told about the whole story of
their place in public estimation. If a city or smallei
community could afford them, well and good; their construc
tion was justifiable, like the erection of statues and fountains.
If it could not, why, it didn't lose much. We were a rugged
people and jounses and jolts were accepted as a part of our
discipline. We didn't need the roads for military purposes,
as did the old Koreans or as the Spaniards thought they did
When they built the splendid highway from Ponce to Kan Juan
in the island of Porto Itico, and we never dreamed that good
roads were among the most powerful levers in industrial and
commercial development.
There has at last been an awakening to the value of smooth
and hard highways. A new conviction has dawned upon us.
We are still stretching ourselves and struggling with it, but it
has fuund lodgment and will in time work its way. Most of us
are longing for the day wtien instead of enjoying a mile or two
of Improved highway, which only emphasizes the discomfort
and wretchedness of the ten miles which we may strike later
on, we can start out on a half day's or a day's ride over coun
try roads that shall continue from start to finish as good as
any of the samples. Boston Transcript.
What Can We Afford ?
HOW many times in the course of a year we use the kittle
sentence "I can't afford it," usually with a complaining
note In voice or mind as we realize the difference be
tween what we ca pay for and what we desire. Yet
people usually, if not always, afford whut they want
most. Even a millionaire can't buy everything on earth; he has
to take his choice, like other men, but, like other men, he Man
ages to afford what be wants most.
By what we can or cannot afford we usually mean what the
utmost living we are able to make will or will not suffer us to
buy. But here is another way to calculate. "The cost of a
, iiing," said Thorenu, "is the amount of what I will call in;
nhieh is required to be exchanged for it immediately, or in the
long run." .Stevenson says, "1 have been accustomed to put
it to myself, perhaps more clearly, that the price we have to
pay for money is paid in liberty." Here is a new measure of
what wc can afford not how many purchasable things we can
manage to barter our life and liberty for, but what amount of
life or liberty we can afford to exchange for any purchasable
commodity; in a word, what kind of a living we can afford to
earn. "Do you want a thousand-dollar income?" says Ste-
Independence gave the former carpen
ter ample menus to attempt the execu
tion of his life dream nnd to strike Into
the heart of the mountain for the moth
er lode of the radiating gold veins of
Cripple Creek. It was bis often de
clared Intention never to stop work on
bis shaft till lie had reached his goal,
and lie was absolutely convinced thnt
such a goal existed. "I have spent,''
said Mr. Stratton lust year, "$7,000,000
on this plan already. I Intend to go down
Into the Interior of the enrth till I find
the limitless deposits of gold that I
know to be there or until human In
genuity and modern machinery full me.
I set no other limits to my quest."
Heported Him Literally.
Fault was found with the way In
which tha shorthand writers reported
the speeches In a legislative body. They
retaliated by giving tbo speech of one
of the members exactly as he made It,
with the following result:
"The reporters ought not to-the re
porters ought not to lo the ones to
Judge what Is Important not to Vny
what .should bo left out but-the
member can only Judge of what is iui
portant. As I as my speeches - ns the
reports-as what I sny Is reported s nne
times, no olio nobody can understand
from the reports whnt It Is-w but I
mean. So It strikes me It has si nick
me certain miilters-thlng that appear
of Imiwrtanee fire sometimes left oul
omitted. The reporters the papers
points are reported I mean -to make
a brief statement what the paper
thinks of Interest Is reported." -.Cleveland
Lender.
It must make, an actress In n sting,
gllng company feel wretched been use
she can't wear her good clothes (iff the
stage.
When some people feel particularly
vicious they nil their pockets full of
rice and go to a wedding.
TOPICS OF THE TIMES.
A CHOICE SELECTION OF INTER
ESTING ITEMS.
Comments and Criticisms Based Upoa
tbe HnppenliiBTS of the Day Histori
cal and New Note.
Peace Is the penalty of silence and
inaction.
Some men become sadder without be
coming any wiser.
Song for the new harvester trust:
'Bringing In the Sheaves."
There is not a present-day pessimist
that Is any real improvement on Jere
miah, There Is no bore quite like the one
who does his dying through a set of sta
tistics. Tbe more dollars some people put into
iholr clothes, tbe less sense tbey put
into their heads.
The average reign of English mon
rchs has been twenty-three years; of
Russian only sixteen.
The Indian la rapidly becoming civ
ilized. At a recent Choctaw election a
ballot box was stolen.
The Massachusetts Bed Men want the
rod fish as their totem. What will the
irlstoeracy have to say about it?
The United States will not annex
Haytl. This country doesn't have to go
bunting for trouble at the present time.
Emma Goldman has not committed
lulclde. Emma never did believe much
In making the world brighter and bet
ter. "It Is better," says a penitentiary
warden, "to give a discharged convict
a Job tha-. a Bible." Anything wrong
;vith giving him both?
An Eastern paper Is trying to find out
what Is the happiest time of life. How
about the time when the children have
been put to bed for the night?
We have read a good deal of poetry
ibout the wooing of the goddess Sleep,
ind suppose that when a man snores
hut means that he has won her.
A Taris physician has discovered a
lew remedy for bolls. What's the use?
losh Billings years ago simply said
xansfer tbern to some other fellow.
The dressmakers have decided that
eady-made corsets are bad form. If the
nig corset factories have to close It will
be a terrible blow to some of the maga
zines. A Kentucky undertaker became in
mne after conducting thirty-six funer
tls In thirty-one days. He Is probably
me of those men who cannot stand
prosperity.
Some of the 4,000-year-old manu
scripts found recently in the Egyptian
pyramids nnd taken to the University
f California will probably appear thlH
icason in the form of light opera.
Ir. Gunsaulus once said that he knew
)f ten ?10,(KK churches looking for pns
mrs, and 10,hh) ?1,000 pastors looking
'or churches. A recent list of vacant
mlplts In New York proves his first
tatement.
Before the Invention of railways, pco
ile who traveled from Boston to I'liilu
lelphln went either by boat or by stage
.oa ch. Nowadays all the pleasure of a
"oucblng trip between the two cities
an be enjoyed wllh a few of Its Incon
.en"nces by traveling on tbe trolley
ars. Many parties have taken the trip
his season, and more will take It next,
'or It has been discovered that It Is a
lellghtful way to see the country.
The American people will never lay a
lespolllng band on any man's money,
vbether the savings of the wage-earner
ir the Investments of the capitalist.
Private property Is sacred In their eyes.
But public power belongs to them, who
tro tbe constitutional sovereigns of the
lonntry, and they will not long suffer
t to be wielded by private and Irrespon
sible persons. Broad as the land Is,
I here Is not room enough In it for two
ioverelgnties, and In the end the people
done will rule.
The Public Health department of
he city of London has Issued a circular
isklng for co-operation "In preventing
o far as possible the growing habit of
ipittlng In the streets and other places
of public resort." The best authorities
agree thnt the spread of consumption
hrough Infection by the sputum of
.uberculouK persons Is a menace of
rent gravity. If considerations of pro-
rlctjir do not constrain Individuals to
i void Indiscriminate expectoration, the
knowledge Unit tuberculosis may be
traced to such u cause may deter them.
The nntl-splttlng crusade Is among the
Important reform movements of the
world.
So long as this loose public morality
ontliiucs there will lie exposures like
lint In St. louls. The only thing which
will eradicate tbe evil Is a growth In
Ivlc virtue, a greater sensd of public
ind iM-rsomil honesty. There can be no
U'-llon that In many cites the chief
object of tint a few candidates Is the
hope of participation lu the spoils.
They have been brought up In a school
"t practical politic which has taught
insistently that public olllce Is private
i tin p. They do not consider It sny more
llsbonest to rob the taxpayers or to Join
n a hold up combine than the average
nnn might to bent a railroad. In fact,
it the one rose as In th other thara Is
apparently often a disposition to self
conceit over having been so sharp.
The Honolulu Star remarks that the
"Insidious penny" has made a landing
on Hawaiian shores. The stores havt
not yet ntroduced It. The postofflc
work is mainly responsible for the cir
culatlon. The pennies are Issued chiefly
by the money order department, or by
the registry division, and after a short
circuit come back again to the stamp
window. The Star says that pocket
books which a year ago were nevei
shamed by carrying any meaner metal
than gold or silver often contain now
the copper cent of commerce, "little
known and less valued this side of the
Rockies, but dear to tbe heart of every
New England housewife:" Already, It
Is sad to relate, pennies are put in the
collection boxes, and are "only shamed
by an open plate."
You don't have to approve of John
W. Gates to find good things in hi
character. He is a gambler, one of th
most persistent and strenuous in the
country, and he has no delicate sense
of honor that would keep him from
ruining one man or a hundred in a busi
ness deal. He doesn't believe In senti
ment in connection with the gathering
of dollars, and he drives hard bap
gain. That Is one side of John W,
Gates' character. There is another,
which reveals his love for his boy.
John W. Gates says that real fleeh and
blood men make chums of their sons,
and that the great happiness of hit
life Is found in the fact that his boy
Is his best friend. Happy Is the man
who can truthfully Bay that The
are two ways of bringing up boys. Thi
one always keeps a gulf between fa
ther and son. The parent forgets thai
there was a time when he, too, was
care-free; when laughter came at com
mand and the days were not long
enough to contain all the pleasure that
offered. He forgets that orders hurt
and that kindly counsel Is better than
harshness. He forgets that a boy'a
world Is not a man's world, and so a
man and a boy drift farther apart
They are almost strangers. They don'l
understand each other, and doubt and
distrusri help to harden the life of a
boy who often wonders why "father"
Isn't as good to him as "mother." If
Is the man's fault. There Is not ou
boy In a hundred who cannot be won
by kindness. You spend weeks learn
ing the moods and feelings of a $200
colt, and are too busy to look Into the
heart of a boy who Is worth more than
all the horseflesh in the world. Then
there is the John W. Gates kind of
man, the chum of a boy. He goes
swimming with the lud. They hunt
together. You can And them at th
minstrel show in front seats, and
laughing together. The "old man" gets
out in the road and plays catch till his
bones protest, because it pleases hit
chum. They take long rides and walks
together and the boy finds new interest
In life and loves his father deeply,
Does it pay? Don't forget that It is
the only way to live. It means daily
happiness. It means the knitting to
gother of families. It Increases lovt
for youth and respect for old age. The
boys who have been their fathers'
chums are also his champions to tha
day of his death, and the memory of
the man who was good to them is their
guiding star through life. John W,
Gates Is right. Happy is the man who
is his lniy's best friend.
Ia WaNhinictofi.
r
Senator Sorghum (milking a speech)
As Dante! Webster says in his groal
dictionary
Colleague (In a whisper) Noah wrott
the dictionary.
Senator Sorghum Not on your llfej
Noah built the ark.
llcrhs In Medicine.
Among the many ancient country
customs that are dying out or being
drlveu Into utter obscurity by the pro
gress of the times, none Is more deca
dent than the popular use of herbs as a
medicine. Fifty years ago a knowledge
of the curative properties of "roots
an' yerbs" cut no small figure In the
list of a good farm wife's accomplish
ments, and every thrifty farm house
garret whs redolent of endless vegeta
ble cure-alls, hanging lu dry hunches
from the rafters. To-day, except In
remote places, the iimliit old remedies
are without honor and their benefits
forgotten, while even the memory of
their nature Is fast falling Into the
realm of folk lore.
Useful In Hummer.
A recent Invention Is a refrigerating
egg, ns It might be culled. It Is an ovoid
capsule of nickel plated copper about
the sl.o of a hen's egg, hollow and
nearly tilled wllh water. For use It
Is fror.cn, so that lis contents becoiru
Ice.' If you have a glass of milk thai
Is not cold enough, you do not like U
put Ice Into It, because dilution will)
water spoils the beverage, but If yotl
have one of these eggs handy you tuny
drop It Into the glass, and In a few mo
ments the Ihjuld Is roducad to the del
aired tamnoratnra. i
EVOLUTION OF A CODFISH CAKC
RenlnUcencea of tha Orand Baakst
and Old Gloucester.'
It Is all interesting to the last degree
jo watch and see how the ingenious
:od, which a few weeks ago swam
lapplly In his native waters off tha
9anks of Newfoundland, is' trans
formed before your very eyes some of
aim into codfish cakes (they call tbe
it tie squares which are cut to fit tbe
jruall boxes "cakes", and the reat C
bim carefully preserved to make oO,
slue and fish guano. Verily, as a wlt
:y summer boarder remarked, "Brery
part of the cod Is used except the
imell," says Leslie's Weekly.
Certainly, after a visit to Gloucester
jfou have an -Increased- respect for the -5sb
cake. You realize the part It baa
played In the world's history; how It
Qas brought about treaties between
great nations for American fishermen
Qad to get from England the right to
Ish off the banks how it has erected
lighthouses and placed buoys all alone
the cruel shore. You realize, too, the
tragedies It has caused, the widows
and orphans it has made, the loving
aearts it has broken for the cruel reef
f Norman's Woe, where the wreck of
the Hesperus occurred, lies In plant
sight Just at the entrance to the hap
aor; and you hear heartbreaking arte
ries of boats that have gone down with
all on board, in the very harbor it
self, before the eyes of loving ones on
jhore. Truly, the romance of the codv
fish cake is no idle sound after yon
Uave been to Gloucester. But all the
mine, after you have made the ae
ijuttlntanee of the cod In the processea
of evolution, and with the recollection
of its odor still in your memory, yon
are quite, quite sure that you wiH not
svant any codfish cakes for a very long
rime.
An Embarrassing Moment.
The author of "Collections and Itec
Dllectlons" relates a personal experi
ence of having said a "thing one would
rather have left unsaid." Even after
:he lapse of twenty years, he adds, the
recollection of the sensations of the
moment turns him hot with chagrin.
A remarkably pompous clergyman,
diocesan inspector of schools, onca ,
showed me a theme on a scriptural sub
ject, written by a girl who was trying
to pass from the rank of a pupil-teacher
to the rank of schoolmistress. The
theme was full of absurd mistakes,
over which the inspector laughed up
roariously. "Well, what do you think of that?"
tie Inquired, when I handed back the
paper.
"Oh," said I, in perfectly good faith,
"the mistakes are bad enough, but the
writing is far worse. It really is a dis
grace." "The writing? What, my writing!"
said the inspector. "I copied the thema
Dut myself."
A Reason for Patronage.
"People have strange reasons some
limes for patronizing particular gro
;ery stores, steamboat lines and rall
ivay lines," said the vice president.
"When I was a ticket agent, back in
;he '50s, I heard all sorts of them. One
lay an old lady came to the window
and asked for a ticket up the line a
short distance.
" 'I thought I'd take this road 'stead
)f the other,' she said, ' 'cause I felt
ike I lied an interest in this road.'
" 'How's that'' I asked, thinking sh
night have a son connected with tha
otid in some capacity. I knew a lot
)f clerks at various stations, and if this
was a friend's mother I wished to helj
her If It were In my power. So I in
quired, 'How's that?'
" 'Why,' said she, 'my niece's little
boy, John, before he got a job in tha
messenger service was office boy dows
lere.' "
All He Was Paid For.
The leader of the band frowned as ha
srougbt the music to a staudstill In tha
Middle of a liar.
"Say, Pumpernickel," he demanded,
n a loud whisper, "what do you mean
oy playing a lot of half notes where
.here should be whole?"
Pumpernickel took the horn off bit
jeck.
"Veil," said he, "I make explanation
mgs by you. You remember dot yon
:ud down my vages to balluf, don'd
rou?"
The leader stared In amazement. He
lad done so, but
"Und so I gontlnulngs to make dor
nodes out mid dls horn, balluf nodes,
mtll der vages vos rcstoreded unto
vliole vnges. Alnd It, yes?"
Sometimes a comedian can produce a
rrent crisis. Cincinnati Cemmercial.
Tribune.
Original View ol an Old Tar.
Few persons who take out life Insnr
ince postpone thnt action so long ns did
in old English sailor who recently ap
plied for a policy. When he presented
almself at the Insurance office he was
Jiiturnlly asked lils age. Ills reply was
W. "Why, my good man, we cannot In
mre you," said the agent of the com
laiiy: "Why not?" demanded the nppll
fint. "Why, you sny you arc 04 years
if age." "What of that?" the old man
.Tied. "Look nt the statistics and tbey
vlll tell you tlittt fewer men die at 94
ban nt any other age."
llml a Oreot Time.
Parent Did you have a nice time in
lie park?
Boy Yes.
Parent What did you do?
HoyOh, lots of things. Itun on the
cross an' made faces at the pleeoe
non, au' dodged the horses, an' throw
tones at the "Keep off the Grass" ne
ieea, an' everytblngr Exchange.
If the average man could climb out
f his grave and road his epitaph has
tgotlstn would experience a. boom.