Ttt Harrises Press-Jwul
o. o. bcux, raoraOTom
LLK&IS05, - - . VXBRASEA
la Important criminal trials, it seems
Mat difficult to prove the best-knSwn
tact.
Anybody can write a book and every
body appears to be doing that very
thing.
The man arho Invented postal card
Is dead. Tbe postmistresses ought to
give him a monument
We infer trvm his prospectus that
Rantoa-Dumont has adopted a "No
money, no fly" motto.
Perhaps a woman can't lead a band,
but it to highly probable that a band
would follow a woman.
Instead of being invented by Mar
xnl it la now claimed that wireless
telegraphy Is of macaroni origin.
Japan seems to have come to the con
clusion that women have rights, which
considered a great discovery In the
lowery kingdom. ,
The water in Great Salt Lake has
fallen alx feet during the past eight
rears. There must be a hole In the
bottom of the old thing.
Now that a train robber has been
tilled and Tracy is no more, perhaps
sir. Pat Crowe will have the kindness
feel a trifle worried.
TJncle Sam may have to become step
iather to Haiti. The time for him to
Jtep in, armed with a good birchen rod,
perhaps not very far distant
A Chicago barber says his wife and
mother lady talked him out of his
nra house. They might do well now
Jo exhibit themselves or lecture.
: A New York woman was found to
Vre hatpin through her heart Wo
oes should be careful how they set
their hearts on other women's hats.
The historical novel is to be tbe llt
frary topllner for another season. As
there Is no law against this particular
Time, the public will have to stand for
It we suppose.
This new explosive tbe war depart
Bemt la talking about that will pene
trate fourteen inches of steel armor.
Might to be able to complete tbe exca
rstion of tbe Panama canal in two or
three well directed shots.
The Treasury Department has Just
thKorered that tbe typewriter Is su
perior to longhand writing in the mak
ing of records. If this thing continues
the government will soon be within a
sentury of catching up with the ordi
nary business world.
In Its determination to support any
legislation having for its purpose the
boHshmg of child labor In States
here such laws do not exist the
American Federation of Labor is not
nly helping on Its own ends, but is
Sghtlng In a good cause for the better
ment of all mankind.
Patriotic women and all women are
patriotic are beginning to ask what
they can adopt as a gesture of salu
tation and respect to the national air
and the flag. A correspondent suggests
the placing of the hand over the heart.
In want of something better that might
do; bnt does not tbe gesture savor too
much of sentimentality? "Schools of
Expression" and "Colleges of Ora
tory" have so long associate! that ges
ture with tbe receipt of bad news from
borne or a false accusation of crime
that little real dignity Is left to it
One of tbe most cheering of current
statements Is that of a man who leaves
Sing Sing prison after eleven years' con
Inement to the effect that "a man there
lets a good chance to reform if he
rants to." The superintendent the
warden and tbe principal keeper stand
ready to meet him half-way, and the
Volunteers' Prisoners' League will
take care of him when he comes out,
ind stick to blm as long as there Is a
possibility of helping blm. Instead of
"a yearly output of 200 to 300 rascals
ripe for lawlessness and crime," this ex
WDTJct thinks that at least half the men
ling Blng now sends out are "anxious
ind able to be useful In tbe world."
rhat is the truly Ideal prison which
Mnflnes men in order to free tbem from
rone places.
Of those who visit California every
fear, many are Eastern people suffer
kig from nervous prostration and seek
ng to regain their heal. it by tbe trip
Kress the continent It Is a curious
(act that not a few of them owe their
Etta to nnsnspected errors of vision,
tad that the trip benefits tbem by dls
tTating the cans of their trouble. 'A
Saltforaia physician, writing In Ameri
can MsalcbM, says that the bright light
at the "Land of aashlne" so qnlckly
facta eyes la which there are errors
f refraction that tbe patient la driven
. as us alt the local oculist. The doc
tor naWfaa tbo yo strain, and la so do
fcj faawraa also the headache, lnsom
gla, lipraaaliB aal other Ills from
gt tho patient has suffered. la
Cfctara i'tym the tasting of the eyas
ga a tn? art
TtZ5 a Cmm- Pleas
rrrt tf CrtT Caaty, OMa, as-
- -, 7 rtiTTjs far tkt
taken respecting tbe naturalisation .
alien immigrants. He declares that he
will Issue naturalization papers to no
.man who falls to answer plain ques
tions he may ask with respect to our
form of government and the Constitu
tion. He says he believes that persons
who desire to become citizens should be
qualllied to vote intelligently, not only
to protect their own Interests, but those
of their fellow citizens as well Fur
ther dilution of our citizenship Is a dan
ger that should be avoided. Let the bal
lot go to all who are qualified to handle
It but put an end to the naturalization
of men who are to be utilized as voting
cattle.
Some learned clergymen who are not
out In the fields and woods gathering
inspiration and religion are. rushing in
to print with their ideas of marriage
on the limited salary of I5 per week.
"Go ahead and get spliced if you want
to, and think about the bread after
wards," the most of them say to young
people who are in love and poverty at
itie same time. They may be right,
but Love is a mighty fine thing, but
when it conies to the test It's the most
material thing in tho world. You can
keep the body without food for a week
and not be more than a few pounds the
worse for it but did you ever try to
keep love on a starvation basis? Next
time you see Sue and put your arm
around her and tell her you could do
it forever, try it for twenty-four hours.
See if you don't get mighty tired in the
arms and empty in the stomach before
the time is up. If you are good for the
test and at the end of the twenty-four
hours still have no desire to break your
affectionate hold, marry the girl, no mat
ter what you are making. You'll get
along some way. But if you do grow
tired and have Just the faintest wish
to dodge 8ue for a moment and go to
the larder, don't have the knot tied for
awhile yet. You'll save yourself lots
of trouble and worry. Most of the ro
mance of married life on 6 per week
disappears the first time you see that
fairy creature, your bride, who used to
be too delicate to hold her own parasol,
leaning over a washtub with her hair
flying loose and her dress decollete all
the way around, scrubbing, nothing but
scrubbing. Walt awhile until the $0
grows to something more substantial
It will grow If you keep at It
Any man having a large one hundred
acre fruit farm with no children on It
should get In touch with Mr. and Mrs.
John Shandrow, of South Haven,
Mlcb., and learn how to make It blos
som with juvenile gladness. This
worthy couple came to tbe conclusion
that a fruit farm of such dimensions
should raise something else besides
peaches and grapes. Here was a large
farm going to waste so far as child cul
ture was concerned.. Not an urchin
roamed Its broad acres or climbed Its
green trees, or thrust his bare toes In its
fertile soil. In tbe matter of children
tbe fruit farm was barren as Sahara,
while city tenements and orphan
asylums teemed with youngsters
whose natures were being dwarfed and
perverted by lack of contact with
green fields and country air. Instead
of kidnaping the children of neighbor
ing farmers Mr. and Mrs. Shandrow
bit upon the sensible idea of applying
to tbe Smith Foundling Hospital at
Minneapolis, asking It to send them
several children for a summer's out
ing, with tbe privilege of choosing
from them a bey for adoption. In re
sponse there came a consignment of
twenty-two bright, rosy-cheeked
youngsters, the entire visible supply of
children over 3 years old. Of course
this was more than the farmer bar
gained for, but the more be saw of tbe
children the more undecided he was as
to which one to adopt Tbe more he
saw of them the better he liked the
Idea of children on the farm. He and
his good wife finally solved tbe prob
lem by adopting tbe entire collection
of youngsters, and the Smith Found
lings' Home is thus bereft of nearly Its
entire Juvenile population. There's
plenty of room and plenty to eat for
twenty-two children on a hundred-acre
fruit farm. Tbey don't bring as much
In the market as chickens and calves
and peaches, but their value to society
and the State after a few years on tbe
fruit farm will be hard to measure.
We commend tbe example of this
thrifty fruit farmer to tbe owners of
hundreds of acres that never resound
wltb tbe shouts of youngsters.
Makina; Burglars' Tools.
There Is a rich business man of Pbh
adelpbla who got bis start In life
through tbe manufacture of burglars'
tools. He aald tbe other day, confi
dentially: "In my youth I was a machinist but
the business didn't pa? at all. A thick
set man came to me one morning and
showed me a Jimmy. "I'll give you ten
dollars for a duplicate of this,' he said,
and I took him up Joyfully, for In my
Innocence I didn't know what a Jim
my was and, besides, I foresaw a 90
per cent profit In tbe Job. So I made
tbe burglar's tool, and afterward 1
made tho thick-set man some other
Implements, and after that again 1
fixed up an outfit for a friend of his.
"Thus, In a year," continued the
man, according to tbo Philadelphia
Record, 1 had more work than I could
do; eight or ten vlllalnoos-looking la
dl vidua Is brought mo In big orders ev
ery da, and In four years I hare sared
919,000. Then I quit I pulled out and
went Into my present line, which pays
mo well enough, though Its profits art
nothing to those that you wUI find In
burglar tool making. I often wonder
who Inherited my old time trade."
OostorLtTtag lacrosse M Par Coat.
la five years tbe cost of foodstuff
aacaatary to sustain lift has adaaced
i ptr coat la Now Tori ofty, and oa
gstSar aeala ttoaaghoat tat eoaatrf.
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUM0R0U8 SAYINGS AND DO
INQ8 HERE AND THERE.
Joke aad Jokelete that Arc Supposed
to Have Been Recently Bora Hayiaas
aad Doings that Are Old, Carioua and
Laughable Tbe Week's Unmor.
"So yeou be an artist?" Interrogated
the old farmer at the station.
"Yes," responded the dapper young
chap with the? easel, "and I paint still
life."
"Yeou do? Well, come out an' sketch
my farm hands during working hours."
Chicago Dally News.
TV on Their Hearts.
Sandy Pikes So yer got de kids'
sympathy an' dey give yer two pies.
IMd yer tell dem yer lost yer fingers
in de war?
Pellucid IVte Naw, I sed I lost dera
shootln' off firecrackers.
An Admitiitieii.
Father Iorothy, has this young man
any failings?
Iai:shter Well, papa, he p-plays
ping-pong.
Convnlescinv.
Patient Doctor, thanks to you and
your medicine, I feel like a new man
already.
Doctor Never mind, you'll soon be
yourself again.
' The Critic
Ida Yes, it was a case of love at
first sight on his part.
May Hm! What a pity he didn't
take a second sight.
An Innocent Tip.
She It's awfully silly in a young
man to rock the boat when he takes a
girl out for a row.
He Yes; but I suppose he likes to
hear the girl scream.
She But she would scream Just as
loud If be attempted to kiss her and it's
ever so much safer.'
An Unbiased View.
Younghub There's nothing like mat
rimony for teaching a young man the
value of money.
Oldwed That's right. A dollar a
man gives to his wife looks twice as
big as tbe dollar he blew in on her
during courtship.
Rather Evasive.
She (to her fiance) I am sure you
think that Smith girl pretty.
He Yes, I think she Is pretty er
tall.
Comparison.
The Boarder I don't believe I eat
enough to feed a bird.
The Landlady What kind of a bird?
An owtricb?
Her Excuse.
Friend But are you going to Jump
right Into colors? Why not wear half
mourning for awhile?
Widow Because you know some
great sage advised us never to do
things by halves.
Quite Suitable.
Stone Cutter What Inscription do
you wish on the monument?
Widow Well, as he was my seventh
husband, Just put a band on It pointing
like this, and underneath tbe line "Sev
en Up."
The Limit.
Parson So yo consider Bruddnh
Smlff to be very skeptical?
Deacon Skeptical? Why, pawson,
ef be wah allowed to reach de pearly
gates he'd cblp off a piece to see If the
pearl wab genuine.
Delicate Insinuation.
Miss New York I thought so much
of our old yacht that I had a pair of
canvas shoes made out of the sail.
Miss Oh lea go Gracious! Was It large
enough for that?
Is AD, IMS.
Mrs. Uptodate (to mald Maria, you
need not set outthe capsules for Mr.
Uptodato'a dinner. I hare received
Marconlgram that bo will not be borne
until 10 o'clock, as his lantos-Dvimont
blle has had a breakdown. Jadge.
Secret Oat.
flmltb Brown hi certainly a good
man. He always speaks well of bla
oeigbbore.
Jones That Isn't due to bar goodnesj.
Bo Is aaxloas to sou his bouse and lot.
-Calcafa Mows.
i
Bowing Wild Oats.
"Sence them city boarders got to
comin' here our Johnny has been goln'
to the bad," said Mrs. Hayaeede to
Mrs. Clovertopp.
"You don't say!"
"Yes, Indeed! He's got to stayln' out
late at night. Why, last Sat'day night
he went off down town and never came
home until after after 9. I've got a
mind to ask the preacher to talk to him
on the error of his way." Baltimore
American.
Needy Indeed.
"Can't yer help a poor man dat Is
widout money?" whined the nisty In
dividual on the sidewalk.
"But how dj I know that you are
without money?" demanded the pros
perous citizen.
"How do yer know? Why, can't yet
sec I don't wear a Panama hat?"
Chicago News.
Tbe Wild Chauffeur.
"Isn't lie satisfied with an automobile
that will smash records?"
"No; he wants one that will smash
trees und telegraph ikjIcs."
II is Opinion.
Mrs. De Style How do I look in my
new bathing suit, dear?
M'. Dc' StyleOh. what little there Is
of you In It looks all right.
He Was Wise.
Tonchley Say, Coiner, I'd like to
hijve a short talk with you.
Coiner It's no use, Touehley. I
haven't got a dollar in my clothes.
Wise Precaution.
I'.ixby I see young DeColn carries a
footman perched on the rear of his
automobile.
Nixly Huh! That innocent-looking
footman Is a coroner In disguise.
tost and Wou.
Green Jones tells me you lost your
job by staying a week longer on your
vacation than the firm gave you?
Brown Yes, but that one boosted my
financial prospects out of sight
(Jreeii How's that?
Brown I married the only daughter
of a man worth $100,000.
Pair of Them.
Canvasser (entering office) I would
like to see the manager.
Proprietor Which one the office boy
or the typewriter?
Only the Truth.
Employer So you went to the ball
game, eh? Thought you were going
to the cemetery?
Office Boy (who saw home team lose)
Well, I just as well had. I saw no
many 'dead ones. "
Just Home from School.
Mrs. Retired Well, Bridget, now
what's the matter? Isn't my daughter
Esther In the kitchen to help you?
Bridget That's Just It mum. If I've
got to eat her cooking, I'll quit
Had to Decide.
Two Jolly sons of Erin halted at a
wayside Inn.
"Phwat does tbe solgn say, Pat?"
asked one.
" 'Accommodation for mon an' baste,'
read the other.
"Thin litis go In."
"Hould on."
"Phwat for?"
"Which av us will be th" mon an'
which th' baBte?" Chicago Dally
News.
Another General.
"Any letters for me. Pomp?" de
manded the pompous old general as he
hobbled out to the gate.
"No, sal)!" reajtouded tbe colored mall
carrier.
"No letters addressed 'General?"'
"One, snh."
"Then it must be for me. I am the
only general In town."
"Ah doan think no, tujti."
"What general Is It?"
"General delivery."
His Belief.
She Do you believe that people
should marry their opposlteg?
He Certainly. That's why I am
looking for a girl with money.
Lons-Winded.
Tess Mr. Gayley's stories are rathei
broad, don't you think?
Jess Perhaps, but fortunately they
are not as brood as tbey are long.
Philadelphia Press.
Both Useful and Ornamental.
Mother I don't see that you learned
anything either useful or ornamental at
that school last year.
Pretty Daughter Ob, but you don't
know. For one thing, I learned bow to
make my shoelace come untied when
ever I wish. New York Weekly,
ailaht Variation.
Stubb When you proposed I suppose
she sprung that old gag, "This Is so
sodden!"
Penn Nothing of tbe kind. She aald :
"You allly thing! Why didn't you ssy
the word sooner and save gas bills?
The Wise Fir.
Once foolish fly said to the Phre
nologlst Fly: "Come and let ua make
baste and alight on yonder bald bead."
"Not so,'1 aald the Phrenologist Fly.
"Con you not see tbat the bald bead
possesses an enormous bump of com
batlvenesa?" This teaches us that a Misfortune may
at "lrnes Possess Advantages. BslU
more American.
t GOOD I
iSbortQtorleJi
nt
Ad Inquisitive woman once asked
frofessor Andre, before he left cm bla
il-fated balloon trip: ' How will you
mow when you have really crossed
rbe North Pole, professor?" "Oh, that
will be simple enough madame," re
plied Andre. with his well-known dry
iiimor; "a north wind will become a
wuth one."
A gushing younit woman stood before
:he portrait of Thomas Jefferson in
ne of the lobbies of the national Ca
tol, the other day, the plate on which
ears simply the name, "Jefferson."
'Oh," she railed to her companions,
'come here quick, girls, and see 'Joe'
fefferson's picture. It's In the cos
:ume of Bob Acres, and it's Just grand;
Mit I do wish they had painted him as
!i!p Van Winkle."
A beginner in newspaper work in a
outhcrn town, who o-casionally "sent
rtuff" to one of the Xew York d.tilic,
picked up last summer what seemed
him a "big story." Hurrying to the
;elejrruph office, he "queried" the tel
egraph editor: "Column story on so
ind so. Shall I send it?" The reply
a-as brief and prompt, but, to the en
thusiast, unsatisfactory. "Send six
aundred words," was all It said.
'Can't 1k told In lens than twelve bun
Ired," he wired back. Before long the
eply came: "Story of creation of
world told in six hundred. Try It."
Rev. M. Greene, a preacher at Flwl
oy's Iake, Ia., took his congregation
:o task a few Sundays ago, because
'.he members were not. In his opinion,
riving suitable supisirt to church work.
The reverend gentleman mentioned by
Jame several of those whom he regard
id as at fault, but was Injudicious
enough to include Editor Boerman
Lmong the lot. "Why," said the
preacher, "Mr. Boerman only paid a
Jollar toward my support" The editor
etorted: "It was dear at the price,"
uid Mr. Greene thereupon learned that
Is dangerous to monsey witn a mizz
aw. lieutenant-General Miles declares
that once a delegation of rebellious In
liang visited his camp in the West for
i powwow. Among other things, they
s-ere shown a telephone, and allowed
talk over it. Much interested, tbey
lemanded to know whence came the
roices they heard, and why they Bhould
?ome through the little black instru
ment It was, of course, Impossible to
Bake them understand the principles
f electricity, so the general told them
:hat the (ireat Spirit had lent his
jghtning to the white men, and that
forced the human rolces Into the little
box they sow. So Impressed were
Oiey by this wonder and the under
standing with the Great Spirit which
,t Implied, that they returned to their
Doiivw and became such advocates for
eace that their tribe surrendered.
AUSTRALIA'S DROUGHT.
io Copiou Rain Since 1HIM, Sheep
Dead, Bettlers Knitted.
Apart from the general engagement
)f forces in the tariff struggle, a eon
.est is now going on In Australia
ver the duties on cereals and fod
ler. In consequence of the ter
ible desolation caused by the con
:iuuance of the drought, a jtowcrful
igltation has sprung up for the susjm'u
don of these duties. The government
s on the horns of a dilemma. If It
fields to the pastorallsts It alienates the
'armers and plays Into the bands of
(peculators In grain and cattle food. If
t refuses, and the drought does not
!reak, a miniature revolution may oc
:ur In the Interior. It will probably
Ither make a money grant to the dis
tressed districts or allow rebates to
:hose In charge of starving cattle. The
iverage Englishman can scarcely real
ise the horrors of the drought In this
freat country, three-quarters of whose
turface Is always barren and hateful
:o the human race.
Let the mind first take In a few grim
'acts, 7..: (1) That the drought has
dnee WM killed off 30.000,000 sheep In
Queensland and New South Walels; (2j
.hat with brief spells of rain the
lrought has lasted In Central and North
iustralla for seven long years; (,'Jj that
n many wldespreadlng districts the
rainfall has fallen from 22 Inches In
18!)4 to 1.70 Inches last year, and (4)
hat thousands of settlers are absolutely
ulned and have nothing but bank
ruptcy and starvation before them.
Then, let the Imagination bestir itself
ind try to conjure up vistas of wide
itretcbes of grassless plains whitened
with the skeletons of dead sheep. Let
he Londoner endeavor to Imagine him
lelf tall, loose-lltnbed, dry-skinned,
lollow-eyed settler, with a dirty wlde
iwake bat and dull, torn, colorless
rlothes, riding ninety miles on the back
f a half -starred, bony horse for a gal
'on of water and pcrluiii:: he will at
ast ttcgin to realize what the drought
nesns to his Australian cousin. The
tutlook Is Indeed a gloomy oik. If the
emporsry removal of the duties on
train and fodder will brighten It, then,
D the name of God, the step should be
aken. Melbourne Correondent of
he Ixmdon Chronicle.
ON CUPPING EVERGREENS.
Ipruce uad Norway Pines Reqalre At
tentloa Periodically.
There Is a great variance In garden
tig tastes. Some persons abhor any
Alag formal, stiff or In tbe slightest de
cree abnormal; a few will go utterly to
!ho extreme; the remainder bare bal
laced Ideas, admitting both where tbey
Dam tttlng aad proper.
However tastes will disagree, some
plants must have a little attention from
the pruning shears to make them at all
desirable. Many evergreens msy be
thus classified, but necessity only de
mands very slight attention. Retlnia
poras and pines are usually much ben
efited by a slight shearing every two
years. Hemlock and Norway spruce
may also be so treated to their advan
tage, and yews as well.
To accomplish the desired end, which
Is that of preventing bareness of the
lower limbs and to encourage a degree
of compactness without absolute for
mality, the occasional shearing Bhould
take place after new growth has ad
vanced several Inches, about half being
cut sway, says a writer in Median's
Monthly. This check to natural ad
vancement causes the growth of lateral
buds and consequently a more com
pact appearance.
The spruce and any otht r evergreens
of rapid growth and that form larger
trees should be trimmed to ;'rnw some
what conical. If allowed to become
broader above than below the stronger
upper branches will eventually rob the
lower of nourishment and make them
weak and more or lens bar of foliage.
If shearing be neglected at the time
designated It may be done late In the
growing season, If before growth Is
quite completed. Then strong buds will
be formed for another season's growth.
The pruning of pipes should be done
by pinching back the young growth
while it Is soft and brittle.
Old News 1 No News.
A good newspaper tries to give the
people fresh news and to "dress up"
old news In an attractive form. Most
people like to hear again what they
already know, but readers are few In
deed who would approve the novel at
titude of the editor of a German paper
published In America. He was very
matter-of-fact, says the Washington
Tost, but a faithful, hard worker.
One night there was a great fire
which destroyed the entire block oppo
site the newspaper office. The whole
town turned out to see it, and the
streets were crowded. The proprietor
of the paper did not go out, but lay In
bed dreaming of the fine display the
story of the fire would make on the
first page of his Journal the next morn
ing. But when he opened the sheet at
breakfast, there was not a word about
the fire. With wrath In his eye he
went to the office and burst Into the
sanctum of his German editor.
"Why," he thundered, "is there no
mention In this morning's Issue of the
fire across the street last night?"
"Ach. meln lleber Herr," said the edi
tor, calmly, "for vy vaste s,o much gut
paper? Kfrybody vas In de street, und
see de fire himself. Vy should re tell
de t'ings vat de people seen already?
Shall ve de news print or rat efrybody
knows? I)ey haf seen de fire, but do
dey know dat Schleler has lost his dog?
No. So I have dat printed."
An Old One Recalled.
The fact that an Irish story, though
trite. Is always pat, was Illustrated
yesterday, when District Attorney
Beeves told this anecdote:
"Some people object to releasing pris
oners on a floater because of the fact
that the renegades are turned loose
upon other communities. That re
minds me of the Irishman who, after
reaching America, was full of home
sick brag, In which nothing in America
even approached things of a similar
variety In Ireland. In speaking of the
bees of the ould sod he grew especially
roseate and said:
"Whoy, th' baie in that counthry Is
twice as big as In'thls. Indade, they're
bigger than that. They're as big as
th' shape ye have In this counthry!"
"Bees as big as sheep!" said his In
credulous listener. "Why, what kind
of hives do they have to keep them
inr
"No bigger than th' ones In this coun
thry," was the reply.
"Then how do the bees get Into the
hives?" he was asked.
"Well," replied the Irishman, "thot's
their own dom lookout." Los Angeles
Herald.
Tennyson's Tactlessness.
Several stories are told of Tennyson's
thoughtless speeches. "What fish Is
this?" he once asked bis hostess when
be was dining. "Whiting," she replied.
"The meanest fisb there Is," he remark
ed, quite unconscious that he could
have wounded any one's feelings.
Yet bis kindness of heart wus such
that when his partridge was afterward
given him almost raw he ate steadily
through It, for fear his hostess might
be vexed.
On one occasion Tennyson wss very
rude to Mrs. Brotherton, a neighbor at
Freshwater. The next day be came to
her bouse with a great cabbage under
each arm.
"1 beard you liked these, so I brought
them," be said, genially. It was bis
Idea of a peace offering.
Pretty Much the (tame.
Tbe shades of night were apward dnwo
Just si s youth of brains and brawn
Unto the breakfast table Died
And to tbe waiter loudly cried,
"One shredded wheat!"
The waiter bronght It on a plate
And watrbed the young man while be
ate
And when there was not left a shred
Of all thst shredded wheat be aald,
"Excelsior!"
Th young man never cracked a smile,
Rat after pondering a while
The aptness of the waiter's jeat
Arose and thus himself expressed,
"1 think you're right"
Judge,
After a man has been disappointed In
krvo be develops Into a flrst-claas cynic.
All Is not gold tbat shows op la a
gllttorlDi mining prospattm