STAIRS OF SAND
A TALE OF A MYSTERY
ST
ERNEST DE LANCEY PIERSON
Al'THOBOP
"THE SECRET OF THF. MARIONETTES," "A DANGEROUS QUEST," ETC.
Copj. -
T BtSTKKKTAsMITH I
t
CHAPTEK XVII.
James Ellison stojd before an open safe
built in tbe wall cf the study iu Lis c'-ty
house. lie was examining its cou'.ents,
and occasionally comparm what h
fn;ml with a list written down iu a lit
tle book be held in one haul. Now and
then be allied, bile a worried look
came over j.j face. Sudiuuly at tj
sound of a door being opened be c!, -4
the safe hurriedly and turned the kn"'j,
"Ob, it's you, is it?" with a weary air,
ax hia brother e-.tcred the room, looki-r.;
light-hearted and deboniir. He went b:i"k
to hia Evat by tbe desk, and feat there
with hia head resting on one hand in an
attitude of deep dejection.
"Yes, it's only me," replied the broth
er. "Why, you started, Jimmy, when I
came in, aa if you had been a burglar
surprised in the act of rifling that safe."
"You have an unpleasant way of plung
ing in cm people when you are not ex
pected "
"Or wanted," pontine. J the other, with
a malicious smile, as be himself
down Into a chair and lit a cigarette.
"I thought I bad locked the door; 1
was busy with accounts."
"Preparing to give an account of your
stewardship, I suppose," and Frank,
watching hia brother's face, saw a faint
flush gather at the woids.
"That is my own concern," Qe UM
testily. "I hope yon did not come here
to be quarrelsome. You know we never
could get along well together."
"That was not my faalt, for I am nat
urally of a mild disposition," replied the
other, with mock earnestness. "Yon hap
pened to marry a fortune, and then be-came-so
airy that it was no longer possi
ble for os to pull together in harness.
Now, as I said before, I am glad to see
that you are preparing to give an ac
count of your stewardship." James look
ed at his brother in surprise.
"I don't know what you are driving at,
nor do I see what possible business it la
of yours."
"A great deal my business. Your
daughter, when she marries, will natural
ly want the bulk of the fortune. Well,
as I intend to marry her, I am interested
that my wife should receive her fortune
intact."
James Ellison laughed, but there was
little heartiness in it.
"You still cling to that absurd idea. 1
thought the other day yoo were merely
joking."
"I never joke on such a serious sub
ject. Apart from the fortune, I find the
young woman charming, and I am not
too old to appreciate the charms, mental
end physical, of so attractive a person
age. I know you will find it bard to
urrender tbe fortune, or the biggest part
of it, to me, but you will have it in the
family, ami that should be a satisfac
tion," with a grin.
"Oh, a great satisfaction," replied
James, grimly, as he looked at his broth
er keenly, to make sure that he was
really in earnest. "And Grace, does she
consider your attentions in any light but
that of ridicule?"
"Oh, I hove not been precipitate. 1
mean to win her by kindness. Since that
erer unfortunate tragedy she is in
sympathetic mood, and I can do much
to comfort and console her." Frank El
lison reeled off this speech with apparent
satisfaction, as if he was quite sure of
bis gronnd.
"And the school teacher, what of bim?"
"I don't think I need fear him any
he is as good as done for."
"You evidently are nut aware of what
has taken place," said James Ellison,
with a pleasure that he could not dis
guise. "What do you mean?"
"Why, the police have made an arrest.
It is in this morning's paper." Frank El
lison allowed the cigarette to fall from
his fingers, and the air of smiling com
placency disappeared from bis face.
"The police have found an earring, one
of those my poor wife was robbed of on
the night of the murder, in a pawnbrok
er's shop in this city. They have found
the man who pawned it, and, though he
denies that he had anything to do with
the crime, they have still hopes of get
ting him to confess. Why, you seem
very much disturbed over tbe news," as
Frank flung himself out of tbe chair
when he was seated, and walked back
and forth with a nervous air, as if unable
to keep still in one place.
"And what might this fellow call blm
aelf," he asked, ai he paused by his
brother's chair.
'. "He rejoice in the name of 'Beddy.'
ts tbe police know him. What bis real
name is do one knows."
Frank Ellison looked relieved, and
went bark quietly to hia seat.
"Well, perhaps they will find that the
poor fellow's story is true. That need
Dot interfere with my plans."
"But she will never forget Barnett.
Ton don't know what a will that little
woman possesses," said James. "To tell
tbe truth, I would rather see bar bit wife
than yours."
It was well that be did not notice the
expression of anger that came over his
brother's face as be said this, for It was
: not pieaaant, but Frank eon Id control
bis features, sad tk doad was but a
passing one. .
"I thank yon for your food opinion.
Perhaps If I bad bora favored by fortou
la eaptnrlag an helrsee I might kavt
ted as vtrtaotm a lite as yoa," with a
Misting latoaattoa la has vote.
"Not, that roa art frank enoagh In
aaylac that yea aretwr tk eefcaot taarher
nas, 1 will givs sm a ataaa ef latateat
1fnww." . Jaaasa regarded tk other wirk a ear
fia aatawlaasa, weaAsHat if tt wet wall
V a ahoald aaaw Ms.
-f-kav saasVs artaagasaaate tkat eaa-
' r 1 fid art M tat agritanat"
i tt la is m I 1 stail
t fi r zZU fCjaatt taiaa, Tan
v i t l-trzl to trj at k C
leht.iai1,
! marriage, because otherwise I should be
teti.pted to make the paper public, and
; tl'e'i every penny you have in the world
will go to your wife's relatives."
J.itues Et'iaon was silent, wishing that
. lie had n.t provoked Lis brother. Hut,
. aft-r all, this might be mere bravado.
, "When you c-; p-ov beyond doubt
that the juper iu your iKJSession." he
i said, cautiously, "v. may be able to
; coi:.e to an arra sgettetit."
"We!!. I ex;K- t in a few days to show
yo'i that I em not building a hou-w? of
ear ls." And then, going ovsr to his
brother, he laid bis hand on his unn.
"In the meaiitinij. JiiMny, I am sure t'iat
you will not resort tJ any double dealing
that world prejudice my case."
For a second their eyes met. but it waa
James Ellison who first looked away.
"I will do nothing for a week," be
said. "Then I will art as I wish."
"A week he it," replied Frank. "And
where is Grace now f
"I think jou will Cud ber in tie gar
den. Now, don't make yourself absurd.
You know the poor child has bad enough
trouble of late."
"Don't fear that I shall do anything to
make her unhappy. 1 tan be very agree
able when I wish." And be went out
and leff his brother alone.
"If he really could get hold of the pa
per he might have the upper hand of me,"
said James Ellison to himself. "Unless,"
and he cast an anxious look in the direc
tion of the safe, "unless tbe fortune could
le placed out of bis reach. Without
that he would never care to marry. It
is the money he wants, and nothing
more. Bab!" with an angry gesture.
"Kather than throw her Into the arms
of such a rascal, I I But, pshaw!
What am I talking about? She love
the other, and this cunning rogue could
never win her 1a a century." And, com
forted by this thought, he went to work
again at his accounts,
Frank Ellison was smiling to himself
as he made his way down the stairs, as
if something amused him greatly.
"Birds In their little nesta agree," he
quoted, "but not birds of prey! How
James would like to show me the door,
if be was not afraid of what I might do.
It is pleasant to think that I shall soon
have a weapon in hand that w-il keep
him, if rightly used, in subjection. It
i mighty unfortunate that man should
have been captured. I hope he will be
able to keep silent. It complicates mat
ters and makes my work doubly hard."
He entered the garden, which, though
small, contained some fine old trees, and
under the shadow of one of these a young
girl was seated. She had a book in her
lap, but did not appear to be reading. A
somber and pathetic figure in ber dull,
black dres.
"Now, then, please look pleasant." he
said to himself as. at the sound of his
steps on the gravel, she arose and came
toward bim.
"I can see that you have heard the
good news," she said. "You show it in
your face."
"I must have a very speaking face,
then, my dear." as he took her hand and
pressed it warmly. "What is this good
news that you refer to'"
"Why. surely, papa must have told
you?" Then, as he did not seem to un
derstand, "why they have found the reai
criminal, and now it will be impossible
for them to hold poor Pick any longer."
"The deuce! She can think of nothing
but that fellow," murmured Ellison, un
der his breath, but he took care that
she should not see that the subject was
unpleasant to him.
"Your father certainly did mention that
a suspect bad been captured by the po
lice, but it seems the fellow strenuously
denies his guilt, and, for all we know,
may be able to prove an alibi. So your
friend, the school teacher, la far from
being a free man as yet."
"Oh, ilear. and I thought that tbe worst
was over," he eyes growing dim.
"Well, we can only hope for the Ix-st."
he said, soothingly, for he saw that to
keep in her good graces it would not do
to show any antagonism toward Barnett.
"I am afraid, though, that in their eag
erness the police have seized upon a poor
mnn who has only his previous bad rec
ord against him. If young Barnett is
Innocent, he will get free. The law sel
dom makes a mistake. In tbe meantime
I would not brood so much on tbe subject.
You ought to get away from yourself
and your thoughts more. Come, what
do you say to a drive this afternoon. I'm
sure It would do yon good!"
"Ob, as If I could enjoy anything when
I know that poor Wck is deprived of ev
ery comfort, it would "only serve to re
mind me of hia miserable position."
Frank bit bis Up, for a good round oatb
was on bis tongue.
"But, my dear," gently, "yoo owe it to
your father to me not to give way In
this manner. Yon are getting more pale
and ghostly day by day, and will end by
collapsing completely. Yon mast make
an effort fight against living such a
moody life, take some interest In things,
or yon will go mad through melancholy."
"I can't take Interest In anything but
Dick's fate." sba replied, tesrfully. "If
yon want to sew nas sny different, why,
yoo most set him free; that Is the only
thing tkat will make mt wish to change
my ways of living."
"What an I do to Mil this Infatua
tion T Frank was thinking. "The child
baa become a perfect monomaniac on
the abject" Just aa this was passing
(knag kts mind aba snddenly seised kis
ana and pointed towarj the badge that
ran arovad the gardea.
"Look that. De yoa see KT
"Wnatr atarlnf at the place pointed
n
-A faae! Tk face at that strange lit'
tla awa who and to have taken an eh
aa mtereet la Dick's ease. It seen that
I saw kta faca Bearing la at aa thiMgh
tWksslan."
rami aa aaar aa aaara, am
ran over to the gate set in the hedge, and
dashed out of the grounds, staring up and
down the rosd. There was no one in
sight but a butcher boy pushing a hand
cart, and a man with a load of btioki
passing. So to satisfy himself, he went
round the garden, examining every cor
ner, and did not find bis man. "It must
have been your fancy, my dear," he said,
when he returned to her side. "You tee.
you brood so much on this matter that
you are getting to have ballm-iuations."
"No, no," shaking her bead decidedly,
"I saw the man there, as plain aa I see
you."
"So we are hunting eitra other," i.PtLai
said to himself as they returned to the
house. "Well, be will soon be where be
can worry us no more," for be believed
that it really wss Job whose face she
had seen watching thera through the
hedge, and he marveled at the man's au
dacity. He looked forward to be rid of
such a persistent enemy, and the hour
seemed near at hand.
(To or continued.
WEBSTER'S SPELLER.
Wisconsin Pirector Thoucht It the
Rest lntructi:n Book on Kerth.
At a tut1injf of the Wisconsin State
Teachers' Association a -Mr. Porter told
stories of hi personal experience In
ht'ilinjj clxl Ixioks. He had been ii'
tbe busims for twenty-five years, and
some of the incident which be le
scTibexi were not only aiiitialiiK but pa
thetic. The Milwaukee Flee Press
gives the follovtins:
Twenty- five years afro, when I first
started in the book business, I wen I
Into Dane County and bunted up the
president of the m-hmA board, an old
farmer who had come here from Ver
mont
I drove down the road toward bis
place, and overtook him driving a load
of hay from tbe fields. He was away
up on top of Hie load, and I hailwl him
In a loud voice, any lug 1 wanted to have
a little talk with him.
"Wall," paid he. "talk right ahead.
You're an agent of some kind. "What
la it?"
I told b!m I was selling aohool books,
and wanted him to look at my line.
"Nope," said he, "you can't sell mc
any of these yere new-fangled school
books. I wouldn't give a pound o'
shucks for all the new-fangled rlg-a-mer-Jigs
In the world compared to one
of thoBe old Webster spelling lHVks."
"Well," said I, "tbe old Webster spell
ing book la just exactly tbe book I'm
selling."
"What?" said he. "That there old
book with the pictures in It? The one
with the picture of the boy up the apple
tree, an' the old man throwing stones at
hint? The picture of the girl milking
the cow, an' the picture of the squirrels
in the tree?"
"That's the one," I said.
"Well, the old farmer couldn't get
down from his load of hay quick
enough to see tuat old spelling book.
He had come from Vermont thirty-five
or forty yenm before, and hadn't seen
one Rince he left I opened my satchel
and let him look at the look, and as be
glanced over the old, familiar pngi the
tears camp Into hia eyes.
lie insisted on my coming up fr) the
house so that he could show the old
blue-backed took to bis wife; and as I
wanted dinner I connntel, arranging
to buy dinner from, bim, aa was tbe
custom of all agents traveling through
the country.
At tbe house his wife was nparly as
excited aa he. She dropped her work of
getting dinner, and together they look
ed through every page of the look,
spelling over a few of the old familiar
"hard ones" and laughing as beartlly
as In the days gone by.
Before I left the house that evening
the old gentleman had got tbe school
board together and bought a whole tine
of my books. Including enough of those
old blne-liacked Webster's spelling
books to last five year! or more. To
this day you'll find those books In Dune
County.
Two Ways of linking at It
A steam shovel bad attracted a large
numlwr of spectators. Including two
Irishmen, who, Judging by their ap
pearance, were tKitti temporarily ont of
employment. A New York daily paper
give tlielr opinion of machinery:
As the big shovel at one lick swiped
up half a ton of dirt and dumped ;t on
a cart, one of tbe Irishmen remarked:
"What a ahame to think of them dig
ging up dirt in that way!"
"What do you mean?" asked his com
panion. "Well," said the other, "that machine
Is taking the bread out of the mouths
of hundreds of laborers who could do
the work with their picks and shovels."
"Bight you are, Barney," said tbe oth
er fellow.
Just then a man who had been look
ing on and who had overheard tbe con
versation remarked:
"See here, yoo fellows, If that dig
ging would give work to a hundred men
with shovels and picks, why not get
a thousand men and give them tea
spoons to do the Job?"
The Irishmen, with the quick wit of
tlylr race, saw the force of the remark
and the bumor of the situation. Tbey
Joined heartily In the laugh that fol
lowed, and one of them added:
"You're dead right mate! The ma
chine's the thing, after all."
A Loss.
The Plutocrat I am $100,000 richer
than I was yesterday.
Hia Wife Yon don't seem happy
over It
"No. I'm two days older,"
Aaeeatral.
Father Tall me why yoo want to gat
married T
Daughter I expect It's one of tbe
traits I Inherited from mj mother.
Now York Ban.
Latbar bad a moat exalted opinion of
mother and motberhood and repeated
ly elofUM both la hia wrltlafa.
doinqs orwra t
wz-sm - sas-' rii ' a iaij . r- n ami . ' j r, rta
GIRLS, HELP YOUR MOTHERS.
VERY girl, If she be not tlmr
J oughly Hellish, is anxious to lift
some uf the burden of household
management fr m h. r mother's shoul
ders on to ber own; but, unfortunately,
many girls wait to be asked to do things
Instead of In'iiig constantly on the look
out for little duties which t'uey are ca
pable of doing.
If you would be of any real use In the
home yon luu be quick to notice what
is wanted tbe room that need dust
ing, the Howcrx which require rearrang
ing, the curtain which hits lost a ring
and Is therefore drooping. And then
you iniiKt not only be w illing to do what
Is needed, but willing to do it pleasant
ly, without making people fed that you
are being martyred.
It Is almost useless to take up any
li'iiiaehold duties unless you do ibeiii
regularly. If you do a thing one day
and not the next, you can never be de
pended on, and If some one else has
to be constantly reminding you of and
supervising your work. It probably
gives that person mure trouble than do
ing It herself would cause.
Have a definite day and a definite
time for all you do the flower vases
will need attention every other day.
There should be one day kept for mend
ing and putting away the household
linen. Begin, too, directly after break
fast, anil keep on steadily till your work
Is done.
If you begin by sitting down "Just for
a minute" with a book, or think you
will "just arrange the trimming" on
your new bat, the morning will behalf
gone before you know where you are.
A girl who has brothers may spare
her mother all those tiresome little Jobs
which boys ore always requesting to
have done for them, If she will only do
them kindly.
But a boy will not come and ask his
sister to repair frayod-out buttonholes
If she snaps and says he Is "always
bothering."
It Is not easy work, but It Is quite
possible for the daughter at home to
make up a good deal of Its sunshine,
and It is only when she baa learned this
that she Is fit to go away and be the
sunshine of a home of her own.
Thonehtlea Marrlairea.
It Is a pity not only that so many
young women are allowed by their eld
ers to be exposed to the danger of un
suitable attachments, but that so many
of them also are not trained to a ra
tional and Intensely serious under
standing of the meaning of the mar
riage obligation. There was a line ex
ample, the other day, in Washington,
of courageous good sense on the part
of a promised bride, through the exer
cise of the quality was rather belated.
Miss Theodora H. Van Wyck. daughter
of a former Nebraska n, now deceased,
and having, It Is said, a large Income
in ber own right, went with a young
man before a clergyman to be mar
ried, but In the mldxt of tbe ceremony
responded to the usual question on
which depended her fate with an em
phatic "No." The astonished clergy
man asked the reason of the sudden
change of mind. "Because," she an
swered, "this Is too serious; I have got
to think It over."
Tbe eleventh hour Is not tbe best at
which to tb'nk It over; but better then
than later. If every girl ami every
young man, for that matter, thought It
well over before seeking the minister
or the law's representative to tie tbe
knot, there would be less frequent ef
forts to untie It, with their attendant
heart-burnings ami recrimination and
exposure of petty weaknesses, which
4o often Inspire a momentary disgust
aith human nature. Philadelphia
rimes.
Motherhood.
o little a soul! scarce a cry
Or a name!
Hedge it in lest it fly
To tbe heaven whence it came,
For the soul knows its wing
And earth's night
Ho bemild'ring
May fright the small thing!
So little a soul, scarce a breath,
Lost its way, drifted far.
Like a rose petal whirled
To the world '
From a star.
On tbe crest of a ware balancing
Between life nd death, night and dswn,
(Heaven linger so near)
Lest it tremble with fear,
Lest It open Its wings
And be gone!
-Nellie H. Wordworth in Boston Jour
nal. Managing a Ilnabanil.
There Is a positive exhilaration to he
derived from bringing all one's efforts
to bear upon a husband whose busl.
neas worries have pursued him from
the office. There Is a genuine delight
to fight with the unknown anxieties
wblcb hia love will not permit him to
unburden at home. It brings out all
tbe tact and patience and diplomacy,
all tbe charms and graces of a worn
tn's character, to transform a cross,
tired, wornout husband Into a new
man Just by a good dinner and a little
tact
Bat to manage a husband when there
ire so many kinds of husbands re
quires, mora than any other one thing,
i thorough study of your subject. To
"meat your husband with a smile."
which la tbe old-fashioned rule for aJJ
'. Ills, Is enough to make "a nervous, Ir
ritable man frantic. Look blin over be
, fore you even sinlle. You ought to
know bow to treat him. Don't sing or
' hum If he lias a headache or begin to
tell him the news before you have fed
him. If there Is one rule to lay down
I which there is not or If 1 were giving
! automatic advice which I am not- I
should say that most men come home
Mike hungry animals and require first
;of all to be fed. Lillian Bell. In Har
per's Bazar.
1" I I '
f LA
it,'
The dress of two linelia, n plnlded
ami u plain one, is a novelty of the sea
son. A blue plaid or a sprigged flower
pattern with plain creiuu (jounces, a
collar and turned up cuffs show ing soft
lawn ones beneath, or n coral scheme
with paler pink emlMdlishinoiits are at
tractive models. With these colored
linens the embroidery on the white or
creamy collars Is In a contrasting
shade of the color of the gown, or of
the same tone as the collar. A white
linen dress, with collar, cults and belt
of cream color, embroidered in the
same creamy tint, is exceedingly cool
and pretty In appearance.
While the moire cloaks are Raid to be
the most modish of the great family of
black silk wraps, It Is undeniable that
they also show dust the most. This Is
especially true of that great favorite,
the heavy mo're velour, which seems
to have handsome ridges for no other
purpose than tbe making of peaceful
reposing places for dust ami microbes
generally. It Is. however, not so prone
to wrinkles as Is tbe daintier taffeta,
which Is made rather mussy by too
much sitting on. These coats range
from the tiny plaited blouses to the
long affairs with circular flounces.
Tremendous!; ultra are the plaited
boleros of black cloth or sillt when
worn with skirts of black and white
checks. These skirts are mostly In
tiny checks, though some broken plaids
are seen, and the kilL the plaits stitch
ed down to the knees. Is n favored
model. In some Instances the blouse Is
of the checked silk, but more often It is
of cream iac, which shows only as a
vest and big umlcrsleevcs once the
jacket Is on. The jacket, by t lie w ay,
has plaited sleeves In flowing effect.
A Table Decoration.
llaud-palnted ribbons make a pretty
table decoration for a change. A wld ;
white satin riblsm is plant all along
the tabic at cither side, bearing band
painted designs at Intervals. Hunting
scenes make tbe most effective designs,
with all the scenes placed In proper or
der from start to finish. But I have also
seen designs from the seasons very
effectively arranged lu this way, so
that it was spring at one end of tbe
table and w inter at the other.
I'oiiuce Corset a.
The pongee corsets rival the white
net styles In favor for summer wear.
Tbe French corset of pongee la light,
cool, and graceful In outline Kilk
corset-lacings should always bo used,
even ou coutille or Jean corsets. A cot
tot! or linen lacing Invariably shows
beneath a closely-tlttiug summer waist,
and round clastic lacings are worst
of all. as they leave a distinct mark on
the back of the bodice.
Health ami lieantr Hints.
Ion't moisten your food with tlrn
Idea of saving your teeth. It sisjIIs
the teeth and you will mmu lose them.
Don't keep the suu out of your living
and sleeping rooms. Sunlight !s abso
lutely necessary for a right condition
of the atmosphere that we breathe aud
for our bodily well being.
There are some skins to which local
ly applied fat of any kind acts as an
Irritant. I am not referring to cases of
oily selwirrhoea. Quite often, when the
skin is not greasy, fat gives rise to a
crop of red, Itching spots.
Those who have their hands rough
ened will find tbeui greatly Improved
by using an oatmeal ball, made by
washing half a pound of lard thorough
ly then putting It In a basin and mixing
It with fine oatmeal, until no gr easi
ness be felt If used regularly It la
said to tie very successful In restoring
the bsnds to a soft condition.
Tender feet are often made so by tba
use of much-darned stockings. Wear
light woolen stockings and let them be
of the cheap bind, that you will not
mind discarding directly they becoma
worn. To harden tbe akta It la goo1
plan to rub tbe soles at tka feat wlt
methylated spirits avery itay at ta
wash them over with aal
mi
Aaotber Oood Way.
Chlmmy Wot's de best way to teach
I girl to swim?
Johnny WelL yw want to take ber
Tetitly by de hand, lead her gently
1 iwn to de w ater, put yer arm gently
round her waist and
Chlmmy Oh, cut It out. It's me sta
ler !
Johnny Oh! Push ber off de dock!
Puck.
Knd.
I think I have beard." said the ten-
j rfst, "that the man you called Bat-
;le;tstke Sam cnap to an unrortunaio
nd hanged for horse-stealing, or
ionietlilng of that kind."
"Wus than that, pard." replied the
owb.jy. shaking bis head with ineffa
bb" sadness. "He was killed by beiu'
tlirowi-d fr'in a boss." Chicago Trib
une. Haw Him Unt,
Mrs. Dlmplctoii I am to see the doc-tot-
to-day, and I know be will Insist
upon tny go'ng abroad.
The lien. John No. he won't. I met
him yesterday and to!d Mm if he will
you ubn.nd I couldn't pay his bill.
l-'aitiiinil.
"Hey, Where's that valise I gave you
-r quarter ti r carry fer me?"
"It's all right, mister. Me little brud-h-r's
cumin' wld it Just as fast aa he
can."
How Cruel of Him.
Mrs. Mann William, why do yon
ace off to the club every evening right
sfter dinner?
Mr. Maim I want to make tip for a!l
b' evenings I lost while I was court
ng. Chelsea f lazette.
Neighborly Advice.
Mrs. Nexdore My daughter's getting
10 be quite an enthusiastic piano
olayer.
Mrs. IVppivy Yes; why don't you
ret her to Join a union?
Mrs. Nexdore -Join a union?
Mrs. Pepprev Yes; she wouldn't
work nior,- I linn eight hours a day at It
hen. Philadelphia Press.
Answer tbe Door.
MrR. Tliroop (excitedly) Bridget,
here's a policeman ringing at the front
loor bell.
Bridget (coolly) Well, ma'am, ye
i'an tell him (H'm not in.
I'olite.
Mrs. Jones John, there are burglars
down stairs!
Mr. , lorn s (sleepily) You go down,
lenr. They wouldn't dare strike a
woman.
The Onlr Way,
Wilson Yes, sir; this summer I ex
pect to own my own home.
Kidder How long do you think your
wife will be away?
the Wasn't Thrre.
Woman (to dry goods clerk who bna
been showing blanketH for half no
hour-1 thank you for your trouble,
but I really didn't Intend to buy any
thing. I'm looking for a friend.
Clerk- Well, If you think she's In
these blankets. Til go through then;
again.
No Chance to Talk.
Wlgg-No. I can't say that Talkalot
is a friend of mine. 1 merely have a
speaking acquaintance with him.
Wagg Most people only have a lis
tening acquaintance. Philadelphia
Hecord.
Kt ill on Kurth,
"You are an angel," asserted the
love-htrlckcn youth. "That's no reason
why you should keep ber up to un
earthly hours." remarked the old man
from the bead of the stairs,-Philadelphia
Itecord.
Not f upcmtltloiia,
Tesa-Don't you really believe In
dreams?
Jesse No, Indeed. It's superstitious
to believe lu dreams, and besides It's
a bad sign when you believe In them,
fur It usually brings you bad luck.
Philadelphia Press.
Did Bhr Mens Anything! t'nktnd?
Mother (exhibiting lirst born) Don'l
you see a resemblance? Look at out
faces side by side.
Visitor Nothing could be plainer.
Punch.
A Timely Affair.
"You are charged with loitering,"
said the lepalrcr to the tired watch.
"What have you to say for yourself?"
"Nothing," replied tbe watch. "You
should Judge me by my works."
"WelL I will look Into your oasc,
said the repairer, "and If I find you
guilty "
"What will you dor queried the
watch.
"Set you to work doing time, prob
ably," replied the repairer, who had a
license to pose aa a Judge.
aveaae.
Tbe Bride There's only one thing
needed to complete osir happiness.
Tbe Groom What Is that, deareat ?
Tba Bride-I do wish my first hus
band and your first wlfo would meet
nd get married.
Mo Cfeaace to Repeat.
Bllder You say you married Is
hasto. Then I suppose yon are repent
lug at leisure?
UUder No; I'm kept so buy buatllnf
that I bar do leisure.