A ROMANCE OF MANY LIVES' ERRORS.
BY ERNEST DE LANCEY PIERSON.
Author "A Slave of Curcumstances," "A Bargain In Boula," "Tlie Clack
Ball," "The Cruel City," "A Woman's Will," "At the World'B Mercy,"
"The Scarlet Cypher, "The Secret of the Marlonuttes." &c.
(Copyright, 1902, by De Lancey Plerson)
CHAPTER VII.
Hendricks loft the park In a thought
ful mood. He had much to ruminate
on. It was strange how his thoughts
ran on that ragged individual he had
M-n for a moment out of the window,
the man who seemed to worry Ellison bo
much, more than anything else that
harif happened during the vlst
"Why was he worried lest the fel
low should he seen?" be asked himself
on the way back to the town. "Can it
be that the person Is in any way con
certed with the tragedy? Well, time
will tell." It was only when he enter
ed the town that he remembered his
brief Interview with the blind man. He
felt BO sure that his fancies had mls
ld him that he wax delighted to see
that worthy seated on the steps of the
meeting house, soliciting In a quavering
voice charity from passers-by.
"It must have been a fancy, after all
that man could not be here," mutter
ed Job, as he approached the blind man
again.
The patriarch was seated on the stone
t"ps of the church, hie hat was ofT, and
r.e seemed to be trying to get a breatti
of air, a modicum of the faint breeze
that had sprung up just then.
"Here is a little to help you along,
friend," and Hendricks dropped a dime
In the tin cup he wore about his wrist
The blind man uttered his thanks,
and then, taking off bis glasse. pro
ceeded to rub them carefully.
Job turned away, shaking his head,
aftir looking the beggar over slowly
and carefully,
"Well. I am certainly getting foolish
In my old age. There I fancied, when I
first saw the fellow, that he was look
ing for me. He rubbed his ryes for a
moment, and then: "Job. you are ga
ting to be an old fool! How is It pos
sible that he could have followed you
here?"
He resumed his road, and yet he did
not feel wholly at ease, as he made his
war to the Bluebell.
The landlord was delighted to see
him at such an early hour.
"I thought you would not come until
tonight," ventured Mr. Bowersox.
- .. J I n ...... 4m, f
V LI CM, tJUtV, II. tlactvt a lJ wu -
ctjme so long as I pay for what I gPt,"
nald Job. In a moody voice, though he
had no Intention of offending the Inn
keener. "You would like to see your room,
perhaps?"
"Well, yes, and go to It, If it is the
same to you."
As he spoke Hendricks plumped down
on a chair in the cafe. Ho was plainly
in no good-natured mood.
I wish you would send to the depot
for my baggage, as I Intend to pcnd
hott days here," he remarked' after a
moment's silence.
"You shall have your stuff In ten
mlnntes. sir," he said. Then, going to
the back of the hotel, he summoned up
a small darkey and Instructed him to
proceed to the station with a wagon in
eenrcli of Uio Kcnt'cri'ian's
i In the meantime, the landlord, study
ing his guest, who was seated half
asleep at a table, wondered what man
ner of man he had to deal with. Cer
tainly the stranger comported himself
In a quiet way, and Mr. Bowersox had
about decided that for all his question
ing he could not be connected with the
police.
His opinions of the stranger who had
paid so well In the first instance were
farther marred when the guest's lug
page appeared from the depot.
It consisted of a rery small valise
that might have contained a doll's
wardrobe.
"I should like to have It taken to
my room," said Hendricks.
"Ye might manage to carry It up
yerself." was the testy remark of the
landlord, as visions of a defaulting
boarder rose before bim.
Hendricks snatrhed the satchel out
of the hand of the little darkey and
turned toward the stairs.
"You can find your way up. I hopes,"
said Ilowersox, who was beginning to
think that he had treated his guest in a
very unfriendly manner.
"Well, I know the number, and you
nay that the room Is open," retorted
Hendricks.
"pnt let me show you "
1 don't want to take you away from
yonr business," and the ono guest of
the bouse disappeared.
Peter returned to his work of polish
ing glasses, not quite able to make out
wt ether be bad been Insulted or not
lob Hendricks, when be found hlm
Mtf alone la the ball, laughed softly to
Oaorge L. Llttlefleld's gift of $500,000
to Brown nulverslty Is another case of
tie practical man who appreciates the
value of a college education, although
having never proved that value In his
wn wiperlenee, for Mr. Llttlefleld was
ot himself a college graduate. Such
an act as his ought fairly to be cited
M tne set-off to the deprecatory attitude
of ft Andrew Carnegie,
Tba gold medal offered by the Paris
council for tae most numerous and best
hohaved family of children has been
m by a couple named Oalles, parents
rf IS rouffun.
himself and wagged his gray head sagely-
I
"They are all alike the world over," i
be muttered: "The sight of my money
tickled bim, but when the baggage ar
rived' he Bings another ng. Well, it
Is rather scant provision for a traveler."
looking at the. little valise as he held it
at arm's length. "But then I shall not
have so much to lose In case of being
compelled to make a quick flit."
He found his room without any trou-
ble, but before he entered it he walked
through the corridor until he came to
another flight of stairs which he could
see communicated with the yard.
"That's good. I may have need of
you, but I hope not. At least It is well
to provide for being in a corner."
Ho went back to his room, and then
opening his scanty luggage on the ta
ble, took from the bag a collar and a
couple ot gaudy neckties, one a vivid
blue and the other a plaid of red and
green.
"It Is so long since I made a call on
a young lady," as If trying to decide
which one he should wear. "Pshaw,
what does it matter? It ain't likely
she'll notice what I have on. Now for
a little nap. I'd rattuT see her In the
evening, anyway. Might appear a
strange acting man In broad daylight;
and I need all my wits about me, any
way." He flung the neckties In the drawer of
the little bureau, saw to the fastening
of the door and "examined a handsome
pistol which he brought out of an In
ner pocket. This he placed under the
pillow of the bed and then flung himself
down with the air of a man who Is ut
terly exhausted.
But it was a long Ime before he could
compose himself to sleep. He lay there
on his back with his eyes fixed on the
ceiling. Hi:; thoughts, however, could
not all have been unpleasant, for the
stern face now and again relaxed and
he srriled. He took the parchment
out of his pocket which he had gone
through so much trouble to procure that
day, and read it over and over. There
was a softened expression in his eyes as
folded It slowly and placed it carefully
back in an Inner pocket of his vest
After that ho fell into a peaceful sleep.
He must have slept lightly, for to
ward evening a faint sound in the hall
roused him. He slipped to the floor
r5ci"e!ess!w sind looked sro'!Td I1 ! m inn
frightened way. Only for a moment,
and then a quiet smile came over hi
rough lips.
Still he maintained an attitude of at
tention, for the faint rustling sound in
the half continued as If some one was
moving about there, anxious not to be
heard. He almost imagined that he
saw a bright eye at the keyhole regard
ing him.
At last, after a moment, unable to
bear the suspense, and yet blaming him
self for what be believed to be foolish
fears he stepped to th door, turned the
knob without noise, and flung it wide.
There was no ono there. Off in the
gathering shadows at the further end
of the corridor he thought he saw a
dark figure glide away.
"Hah! I'm full of fancies," he mut
tered, shaking h!s he&d,nd returner!
to his room. "When there Is danger
to face that's different, but to be fright
ened cf every pairing shadow Is non
sense." Nevertheless, be was anxious, as he
made his simple toilet hastily and went
down stairs In the main room.
"Well, I hope yer satisfied with your
quarters," said: the landlord, who was
smoking a pipe by the bar. He seemed
to have made up his mind to treat his
guest iwlltely for the present. Guesu
were too scarce In town to treat ono dis
courteously until there was a reason
for It.
"Oh, the room Is all right," mutter 1
Hendricks, "There's another lodger
near me, 1 believe,"
Mr. Bowerwox. he thought, seemed to
be a little embarrassed and regarded his
pipe a moment before answering.
"Oh, there's a cbap that works on the
railroad has a room near you but he's
away now."
"Indeed." eyeing him keenly. "I cer
tainly thought I heard a man's step
near my door."
"Did you see him?"
"No,"
"Then you must have been mlatook.
Ho don't come la until late at night
I meant to tell ye before, so's ye
wouldn't be skeered."
"I am not easily frightened," replied
Hendricks, at the same time casting an
Inquisitorial look at bis landlord. Af
ter all, It was not worth making a fuss
about Ho was beginning to feel asham
ed of hU own foolish fears that bad
such a slight foundation. Hearing the
rattle of dishes In the dining room be-
8lr William McDonald, who has been
a generous benefactor of McOIII, has
Just given the university 120,000 for the
purchase of books needed for the re
search work of students In arts, snd
baa also presented to the physics build
ing a liquid air plant, and to the roologl
ral department equipment for the teach
ing of embryology.
Dr. William J. Tut er Is about finish
ing the first decsde of his presidency of
Dartmouth college. When he took
charge there were tR students, and at
present the number Is over 1,400. Over
f 1,600,000 ha been received In endowment.
yond, be changed the subject by asking
for tome gupp;-r. He made a poor meal
and then, having Inquired the way to
the lawyer. Jared Hcnslow's house, be
went out In the gathering nlfrbt.
Declare. I feel a excited as a school
girl going to her first ball." he aid to
himself. "I haven't the nerve I was
once celebrated for. Job, you'll have
soon to confess that you are getting old
and useless."
At some distance from the Inn he
paused to look back. Was It one more
of big fooli.sh fancier that the shutteri
of a room on the first floor moved as
if someone was taking a view of him?
He drew himself up with a laugh, as
he strode through the gathering dnsk
down the village Btreet.
"And 1 am trying to save another
roan." he muttered. "It would be fun
ny, if It washt so "melancholy a fact,
that I'm perhaps hunted for at this mo
ment myself.
(To be continued).
STYLISH SPRING COSTUMES
GOWN OF DARK BLUE ZIBELINE.
The New Hip Yoke.
For early spring wear the tailor-made
idea still prevails, the gowns on the
whole showing a far greater siijplicity
than has been the case for the last few
season. Our illustration shows a gown
of dark blue zib?line, the Eton showing
a very novel effect in the way of stitch
ins:. The jacket is cut without a collar
an l the revers may be either of striped
silk or trimmed with straps. The skirt
is cut with a yoke below which are wide
tucks stitched down with white Corti
celli stitching silk.
Quite a new material is the double
faced linen which will undoubtedly ar
rive at thft hght of popularity during
the summer and will be employed to
evolve some very fetching gowns. Very
little trimming is required on them as
the reverse side of the linen will answer
admirably for this purpose. A wide lat
itude is given the skirts, although the
fundamental principle flaring at the
hem is still adhered to. This effect is
gained in different ways, either with
curved seams or with a flounce, and is
Bometimes still further increased with
clusters of tucks, or with small inset
panels at the hem of contrasting mater
ial and color. It stands to reason that
heavy goods li'te homespun, tweed and
mixed fabrics in general will make up
much more satisfactorily in a plain,
gored skirt
Had Fun With Mr. Shaw.
The other day a magician, who Is
astonishing Washington with exhibi
tions of the black art, paid a visit to
Secretary of the Treasury Shaw, and
turned a neat trick on the master of
the nation's money chest.
"Now Mr. Secretary," Bald the mag
ician, "please take this $10 bill and
see If It is all right."
"Yes sir," said Secretary Shaw, "1
stake my reputation that this Is a
fcc-naiun bill sad give it official recog
nition." "All right." said the magician,
"please crush It up and hold It tightly
in your hand." Tho secretary follow
ed the directions and held on to the
bill like a miser.
You're quite sure its there now, Mr.
Secretary?"
"Sure; sure's you're born."
"Open your hand." said the magi
clan. The bill bad disappeared.
"Well, that beats all!" said the sec
retary very much mystified.
"And a nice man for secretary of the
treasury of the United States, In
deed." salu Mrs. Shaw, who was
standing by. Washington Star.
A Rainmaker.
A Colorado genius named Whitney
has offered to cause one Inch of rain
to fall throughout the state of Ne
braska for tho small sum of $1,000
and to repeat the operation when
ever needed for $1,000 per soak. Ne
braska might except the offer with
out running much risk of a dlsastrons
flood. But unless the state has money
to throw away It would do wisely not
to pay In advance. Chicago Chroni
cle, Traffic ready for It
Eighty-two vessels are engaged In
carrying wheat from an Oregon port
to Europe, and this is hut one Item
In hundreds that could be cited of
business ready for an Isthmaln canal.
St. IOtiis Globe-Democrat.
The legislature of Newfoundland has
provided liberally for the Installation
of a cold storage system for the fisher
ies of the colony. All the fish now
caught there are cured and salted for
the market, found principally In the
Mediterranean porta and Braxll, and It
Is hoped to open op new markets for
the codfish, salmon and other fish and
lobsters In ft fresh state.
IifSpsndsti, near Berlin, great mil
itary center, a tai has been put on auto
matic orchestrions, which are becom
ing an Intolerable nuisance, as nearly
every restaurant has one. It Is hoped
hat will red ice tit plague.
The Spade and the Shotgun;
4 True Story of Oklahoma.
When the territory of Oklahoma was
opened to settlement in April, 1889,
Henry McNeil of Kansas was one of
the thousands who Joined in the race
for a claim. More fortunate than some,
he secured a choice bit of land, and
joyfully set to work to build his dug
out. That necessary labor done, the ques
tion arose where he should conceal his
provisions and other belongings while
he took the unavoidable trip to the land
office to get hls "papers." .
Neighbors, in the usual sense, he had
none, the nearest settler being almost a
mile away. The region was infested
with straggling desperadoes gam
blers, claim-jumpers, horse thieves
and to leave his property exposed
would be to Invite any rascal to take it.
McNeill dug a sort of cave behind bis
sodhouse, making the pit deep enough
so that some time in the future he
could" connect it with his cellar. In this
hole be placed his few household goods.
Then be boarded over the top, cover
ed the boards with sod and brush, and
started away feeling sure that all
would be safe.
McNeill was but one of many settlers
before he received his papers. Then,
happy in their possession, he hurried
back to his new houue only to find
that it was occupied by two rough
looking men, who eyed birn in a way
tbat promised anything but a friendly
reception.
Now, McNeill was a Scotchman, and
cautious, and he began by asking mild
ly if they knew where there was any
vacant land in the neighborhood. They
did not- But they volunteered the in
formation that finding this place de
serted, and being told that the man
who made the improvements had got
discouraged and abandoned the claim,
they had taken it up.
Were they claim-jumpers, or honest
men who had been misled? McNeill
resolved to give them the benefit of the
doubt
"Gentlemen," he said, "I built this
house and made these improvements.
This is my claim. I have not aban
doned it, and never thought of doing
so."
The two men stared at him for a mo
ment in silence. Then one of them
laughed contemptuously.
"That won't go down, young feller!"
he cried. "I don't believe you ever saw
this claim 'fore today. And If you di.
'twas 'bandoned clear enough no grub
or tools in sight to show that who
ever'd been here meant ever to come
back. Anyway, folks 'round about, tell
me the feller that was Here was a 'soon
er,' come into the country before the
gov'ment give the word and If he hadn't
got out the military would 'a run him
out."
"But," McNeill protested, "I can
prove that I am the rightful owner.
See, here Is my receipt from the land
office, and it describes this claim:
"The S. W. U. sec. 17'
Here one of the Intruders reached for
the paper in McNeill's hand, as if to
examine it; but no sooner had he se
cured possession than he threw it to
ward the other end of the room- In
the next instant he leveled a revolver
at the young man's head.
"Now you travel, sonny," the rascal
roared, "and don't you ever set foot
on this claim again, unless you want
the sun to shine clear through ye!"
McNeill traveled; there was nothing
else for him to do. But there was a
,Cu!u ts his eyes ?.'hlch suggested tbt
the matter would not end there.
Naturally he went for help first to
the men who had taken up adjoining
Claims. They sympathized with hira,
vet they would not Interfere. Their
advice was that McNeill should begin
legal proceedings to expel the intru
ders. But the young man objected that
tbat would take time, and he wantcl to
be at work on his claim, s'ice the sea
eon fjr planting would soon be past.
Filially, ending the wearisome and
fruitless argument, McNeill resolved to
try to regain possepsion single-handed.
He borrowed a spade and a shotgun
from the nearest neighbor, and after
darkness had fallen crept cautiously up
tne "draw" or ravine fiat crossed his
claim. Undetected, he made his way to
the pile of brush that marked the en
trance Us his 'jndcrgrcand storeroom,
and cautiously removing some of the
sods and boards, dropped down into the
hole.
Eut he did not dare to begin at once
to dig. Not until he thought the ras
cals must be asleep did he start to bur
row through the three or four tet of
earth between his blding-placi and the
room beyond.
Very slowly he worked, feeling with,
his hands for any stone tbat mlg't fall
and betray him and laying each careful
ly down. Hours he tolled, It seemed,
much cramped for space and sometimes
straightened for breath, before ha felt
sure that he was almost through the
wall.
Then he took out his knife. Piece
by piece, bit by bit, he shaved away the
thin partition, directly under the bed.
He could hear the deep breathing of
his enemies as they slept
It was no part of McNeill's design to
assault the "Jumpers," although he be
lieved they would not hesitate to kill
him. He hoped to dlsposses them by
strategy. He must wait patiently for
an opening.
Hardly daring to stretch a muscle
now that ho was so near, afraid to done,
lest he might dream and cry out, Mc
Neill placed himself as restfully as he
could, and prayed for the long night to
wear away.
At last he heard sounds that told him
the claim-Jumpers were astir. One pre
pared breakfast, the other guarded the
door. McNeill, In his hiding-place, lis
tened Intently.
"Wondee f we goln' to be bothered
today with the youngster as claimed
this yer place?" one of them growled.
"We'd ought to be a-movin' that ar
team we picked up as noon's we can.
If the feller that used to own It should
come along Jest now, look In' for his
horses, he'd be mighty apt to find 'em."
"That's so,' responded the other.
"Guess you'd better take the bosses and
elope for the Panhandle today, hadn't
ye? If the little tenderfoot does come
back I can manage him. Sorry I didn't
fix him yesterday when I had the
chance."
Well, McNeill reflected, If It must be
"kill or be killed." he knew which
would suit him better.
"Hadn't we ought to be goln' op the
draw to water them ar h oases before
anybody does get around?" one of the
ruffians said presently.
"Reckon we had. I'm ready."
"Better take the Winchester?"
"Oh, guess not It's kind of onbandy,
and we ain't likely to be bothered by
anybody so early in the mornin'. j
Buckle on your six-shooter; that'll be j
enough."
As the sound of their footsteps died
away McNeill jumped for his spade. :
With the desperate energy of an honest
man who fights for his own he drove
at the thin crust of earth overhead.
Down it fell; up be clambered Into the
dugout
He ran for the Winchester. Then on
second thought he laid it aside and
took up his shotgun, the surer weapon
at close range. Swinging the door al
must shut, but leaving a crack through
which to watch the approach, he wait
ed expectantly.
Twenty minutes later the claim-jumpers
came back. They bad started an ar
gument while they had been gone. Tbat
was the only thing in their minds.
Wrangling violently about the price
they should ask for the stolen horses,
tbey approached the dugout.
Then suddenly, in their very faces,
the door flew open, they looked down
the barrels of a shotgun, and heard a
stern voice say:
"Throw up your hands quick!"
Only an instant of hesitation a
eard 'round th world,
glance at the face of the speaker and
four brown hands went high in the air.
"Now. about face! March! Side by
side six feet apart, there! Gang as I
tell ye. an 'dinna stop to look back, gin
ye wad keep whole heids!"
Thus commanded McNeill, in his ex
citement dropping into the speech most
familiar to his boyhood. And It was
In the same tongue that the young man
responded when, after they had covered
half a mile, the rescals complained of
the fatigue of holding up their hands
fo long, and begged most piteously to
be allowed to let them down to rest-
"Ye can clasp them atop your heids
an' ye 11 do weel enouch," McNeill said,
grimly. "Long will they rest, I'm
thlnk'n, or e'er again ye lay them on an
ither mon's gear!"
The young man was a true prophet
When he and his next neighbor had
disarmed and tied the desperadoes and
taken them to Guthrie, it proved that
they were "wanted" not only for the
theft of the horses they had hidden in
the ravine, but for various crimes eom
mited in Kansas. In the Kansas peni
tentiary they remain to this day.
Thus well rid of the claim-Jumpers,
McNeill took part of the reward the
state of Kansas paid for their capture,
and bought the spade and the shot
gun. The rich farmer would be deeply
offended if any one should call him a
sentimental man; but he never allows
the tool and the weapon to be mishan
dled, and I have a notion that If his
handsome house caught fire he would
save the spade and the shotgun first
Youth's Companion.
TO CURE HYDROPHOBIA.
A Kentuckian Freely Offers an Infalli
ble Remedy.
In view of the general alarm felt
from the hyprophobia furor of last week
in this community, and the further fact
that instances of mad-dog bites al
ready numerous will increase as
warm weather advances, the Times
publishes what is declared to be an
infallible cure for rabies. Judge R. J.
Breckinridge, the eminent lawyer of
Danville, says:
"The time between the biting of an
animal by a mad dog and the showing
signs of hydrophobia is not less than
nine days, but may be nine months.
Alter the animal has become rabid, a
scratch of the tooth upon a person, or
slobber coming in contact with a sore
or raw place, will produce hydrophobia
just the same as if bitten by a mad
dog. Hydrophobia can be prevented,
and I will give what Is well known to
be an infallible remedy for man and
beast if properly administered. A dose
for a horso or a cow should be four
times as much as for a person. It is
not. too late to give the medicine any
time before the spasms come on. The
dose for a person is one and one-half
ounces of elecampane root bruised,
put in a pint of new milk, reduced one
half by boiling; take all at once in the
morning, fasting until the afternoon,
or at least a very small diet until sev
eral hours are past. The second dose
same as first except take two ounces
of the root. Third, same as second.
Three doses are all that are needed,
and there need be no fear, as I know
from my own experience, and know of
a number of cases where It was en
tirely successful. This Is no guess
work. The persons alluded to had
been bitten by their own dogs, which
were then tied up to see if they were
really mad, and the remedy was suc
cessful. A physician told me he knew
of the use of this remedy for over 30
years, and never knew It to fall when
properly administered. He related a
case where a number of cows were
bitten and ponned half in one pen and
half In another; to half the remedy
was given and they were saved. The
other half died from the dread hydro
phobia." This remedy is printed for what It
Is worth. But In every instance of
mad-dog bite, a physician should be at
once called and the patient sent as
quickly as possible to a Pasteur Insti
tute. In meantime, as above prescrip
tion is entirely harmless and simple,
It might be also tried. If ft mad-stone
is at hand apply that also. Leave no
measure oi preventive against this
most horrible of all fates untried. But
the Pasteur treatment has the endorse
ment of science that It Is Infallible.
Glasgow, Ky., Times,
A new and practical arrangement for
providing masons and other building
laborers, coachmen, errand boys, police
men and others with cheep food and
non-alcoholic drinks has been called
Into being by the Berlin section of the
German Society for Popular Hygiene.
At stated hours special carta pus
through the streets and dispense sand
wiches, bread and butter, the sausages
so dear to the German palate, tea,
cocoa, coffee and soup, all at Jx lowest
possible prices.
UNCLE BILL
riNtfo
i npHE scientific fellers have been
I havin' an explanation uv late
1 'bout tears. Some think they
are hypocritical in all cases,
an' some are uv the opinion that they
are all genuine," said Uncle Bill, as he
wiped his eyes with his handkerchief.
"What Is your opinion?" asked tbo
editor.
"Tears in the human family are like
the sap from the trees uv of the forest.
When tipped at the right time yer git
a good flow," remarked Uncle Bill.
"Why do you liken the human family
to trees?" inquired the editor.
"Guess I'll have ter modiiv my state
ment a leetle." said Uncle Bill, "A tree
will weep when it's hurt, but some
times the humaa tree will weep 'cause
it wants ter hurt someone else."
"I don't quite catch your meaning,"
said the editor.
"Oh, I believe that tears are the dew
drops uv the human soul, that are
drawn by the buckets uv sorrow, an'
sometimes, joy. Uv course there are
people who can cry at the drop uv of
the hat ter their own convenience, but
they make up a small portion av the
real genuine soul searchers. Mankind
Is like a bucket; when yer tips it ter
one side It's apt ter slop over, if there's
cnything in it ter slop, and' I've been
observin' uv late, that it's hard ter
'pill enything out uv a bucket what
s"'Vt got enything in, 'cause if it's done
i' hrt ter be actin' whr.t does it. Now
the: s Deacon Whipple; he's fixed him
self up, so'st he can cry every time ha
goes ter prayer meetin', an' talks 'bout
salvation bein' free. He never gits be
yond that, 'thout sheddin' tears. He
pays fur his 'pew' an' hates ter think
enyon eelse is goin' ter git it free, an
I've seen him cry "bout it a dozen times.
Now, I believe that his tears are gen
uine, 'cause he's so gosh durn selfish
that it breaks him all up when he
thinks enyone Is gittin' a bargain on
salvation while he's payin' fur his.
Now there's Lem Lewis; he's different.
He always gits up an' talks 'bout the
street bein' paved with gold an' smiles
an' laughs 'bont it, an' acts as though
he wanted ter grub stake everybody ter
help 'em git there."
"Everyone does not see things alike,"
suggested the editor.
"Course they don't, but when theee
scientists argue that tears are hypocriti
cal It makes me sweat 'cause they cite
a few actor folks, as proof. When peo
ple cry genuine tears it's like a river
washin' over it's banks; it affects ad
jacent territory." said Uncle Bill.
"Now I was In Chicago some years ago
an' a young lady come up ter me an'
said she had missed her train an' com
menced ter cry. She leaned her head
over my shoulder an' wept profusely.
I tried ter peacefy her an' finally quieted
her down Hn' when the flood was over,
I found that my watch had been washed
away. That's what I call havin' timo
ter git away with."
"Did you shed anv tears over the loss
of your watch?" asked the editor.
"No, I jest let ole Shakesneare have
his way, 'cause that lady must uv been
one uv his schollars. She was takin'
the nich uv time, that leads ter fortune.
I'll bet she wept real tears when she
found it was a waterbury," said Uncle
Bill. "Now a little child don't know
much 'bout the meanln' uv tears, but It
can beat all the scientists' theories
'bout sheddin' uv 'em."
"Yes. a child's untutored philosophy
will baffle a scientist's reasoning every
time," asserted the editor.
"Memory's burryin' ground Is wa
tered with tears, an' that causes
the flowers uv hope ter spring up in
everyone's garden nv thought," solilo
quized Uncle Bill. "When I recall the
Rcenes uv childhood, with the dear old
mother wiping her tear-stained eyes at
all my little sorrows, an' then when I
come ter say 'good-bye, ole home,' with
the tears tricklin' down my cheeks, as
I started out with a youngster's energy
an' a mother's love, ter cheer me on,
ter fight life's battles, I wonder it
these scientists can't recall like scenes
in their boyhood days, an' I oft'tlmes
wonder If their science has stopped up
the gates of mother-love, which is ever
ajar fur the weary mind that has found
all else vanity."
And as he dozed in his chair, he said,
"Yes, Ma. make me a turn-over, with
'Willie' pricked In the crust"
PRINCE HENRT.
How He Was Bored by Long1-Winded
Speakers at Boston.
Boston Herald: Admiral Bob Evans'
story of how Prince Henry was bored
by the postprandial eloquence of one
of the speakers at the banquet tender
ed him by th city of Boston Is by no
means the first Intimation that the ef
forts of the Boston orators were not
appreciated by the prince's party. The
writer was one of a group of newspaper
men who were waiting with the police
detailed at the Hotel Somerset for the
final departure of tho prince, who was
scheduled to leave for the lesldence or
J. Montgomery Sears at 11 o'clock.
Newspaper men and police were alike
tired out after a tedious day, when Col
onel T. A. Bingham, U. 8. A., personal
aid to the president of the United
8tatcs, who accompanied Prlnoe Hi-nry
on his tour of tbls country, appeared
In the entry smoking a cigar. After
Colonel Bingham had ones or twice
looked at his watch Impatiently, some
one ventured to say:
"Why don't you hustle him out, col
onel? We want to get home."
"I guess you sren't Any mora tired
than he is," replied the colonel, "and
If you could get some one to ahnt off
some of your long-winded speak en la
there ha would be only too (4 ta ct
UrtasV
