Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About Harrison press-journal. (Harrison, Nebraska) 1899-1905 | View Entire Issue (June 19, 1902)
33 I IM 'iib Bf rup. Tims GkL rM in im. !)1 l rtniuii.i Yankee Method Gall Europe. Pragu-At the annual Bohemian agricultural und implement fair nrv open In thiH city the methods of Amer ican exhibitors, especially those of the; Mccormick Harvesting Machine com pany of Chicago, lingered their German and AuHtrian competitors. The McCormick company showed rcapen, mowers and blndets in opera tion and monopolized the attention of the visitor. The German and Austrian firms appealed against these "under hand methods," but the police refused to Interfere. The Americans secured 80 per cent of the orders, and for a time It looked as though the Kuropeans .would provoke a riot. Hamlin's Wizard fill battles success fully against pain from any cause whatever; why should you be without lt7 Dr. C. M. Headthk. 303 New Toik Life Building. Omaha, has an estab lished reputation for successfully treat ins nervous, kidney and liver, stomach and other diseas.-s, including rheuma tism, by electricity. You do not have to leave home to Ret the benefits of his treatment, rice his advertisement elsewhere. The way the Texas oil men right th.; octopus Is by organizing a trust of their own. Mothers will find Mrs. WInslow'n Soothing r-'yrup the l. st remedy to u. for their children during the teething period. Notwithstanding the extraordinary efforts of the railroads to furnish iiirk and luxurious transit out of the city, fifty disquieted Chicago. took thel, departure vU th" suicide route during the month of May. It la mighty hard to please some peop. Hamlin's Blood and Liver pills cu;e rnnMlpalton and all the ills due to i!, i'oc at your druggist's. A Place To Spend the Summer. On the lines of the Milwaukee Hall way In Wisconsin, Minnesota, and Iowa are some of the most beautiful places In the world to upend a summer vacation, ramping out or at the el Kant summer hotels. Boating, fishing, beautiful lakes and streams and cool weather. Okobojl is the nearest of these re sorts, but all are eunily rem tied from Omaha, and the round trip rates this summer ere lower than ever before. Full information .ti application. !' A. NAHM, Gen. Western Atft. '. M, & St. 1'. Ry., ir04 1'arnam St., omuha. ELECTRICITY AT HOME. Our Omaha rullo-p. SOS New York Life P.uMdlliK. a!-'-' fully -iUlpp' d with costly and elaborate instruments lor clfctrlrnl treatments, but to people who cannot come to our oi'ice lor treat ments, we furnl-iii an cln-irlr.il battery to be used under o tr dlicrilotis by the patient at home. It Is not a bell, but a scientific Invention of great value. Hcores of paii'-ntH testify to its cura tive power. It is prescribed with or without niedklne, as each ca.se de mands. This electrical battery Is invaluable in the treat ment of ll-axci of women, nervous diseases, weaknesses of men, IterLl t uimari.ij, rt i diri.'.iS- ""'" and kidney dlsi-aw, rle-uniatism, deaf ness, etc. We also furnish our patients our new Ozone Atomler for home use In the treutmcnt of lunK and catarrhal diseases. Free consultation at offloe or by mall. Fend for a symptom blank and litera ture pertaining to your disease. C, M. lieadrick, M. D. S'Ji New York Life nulldlnfr, OMAHA. NEB. to i'Weter Janlcr" 0 Pumpery ".Vl..t -J rtt4, all omi4 u.-t (a ppflm It, Krttf CM f '.arar.tal, Olbf B,.e Li, w !' II t. Knut t ,t et-j-kg, rttTGa f.lil''- JUlm C.l;, )U THE IMPROVED r-. Ml v t. -- Mi( i miw i flii fM Ih n ( P 'i t' '-.-Jr : MY twer Jirjjtx. :. .. jxiiu KIMBALL. BROS. CO., Mf. 1051 th ft. - - - Council lilufTs, la. Omaha Oltlce. - - 1'JlO Hth Kt. FOR M FN ONLY. i,. , tu lt on who Is ifflicied s:ia Is r. tqf.n jrnar: w. . - lie SiK-M lS c.( III" lornl . . ( irrji t. to ny ens mn'iiiil ir'aiiiiiit or net. -br p.il not ut Usurr- lion. Ovr hook it t fvsr iDbiitia Bud hethr t nd et wt Head Ihs lvk Write fur It IMiajr- Addrtif DCS. I 321 W. Walnut When writing, tLLOWS H1L0WS, 5U Des Molnos, la. mention this paper. Th WEBEH U R. P. twllnt Csglaci mining om a c.e. ii.i Country Pubtlahera Co., Omaha, Neb. Vol. S, No. 25, 1902 When part of his residence collapsec at Montreull, near Paris, a man went mat with rlKhl under the Impression that tho Inst day had come. If the skirt dancer never had ' chance to kick, she would kltk harder tban ever. Even a short switch of hair can 'fall gracefully to tho floor." If little pitchers have blf ears.what bout their mouths? ALFRED BEIT, PLUTOCRAT; HE OUTRANKS ROCKEFELLER. Now that Cecil Rhodes Is dead the richest millionaire In Europe', and, perhaps. In the world is coming out Irom tinder cover. His name Is scarcely known to tae general reader, and his remarkable personality has been quite oversnudowed by that of the Colossus, although he Is far rich er than Rhodes. But he will be In many respects Rhodes's successor, and the fierce light that beats upon a throne will roon make him one of tbe most talked-about men of the time. His name Is Airred Belt. Short and tiRly as it is, that name could make an otherwise worthless bit of papet Into a check that might be used to thake Wall street and lx)mbard street to their foundations. Whether he Is really richer than John D. Rockefeller Is a question Belt himself probably couldn't answer, says the Chicago Tribune. Two men who have been closely associated with him In widely different ways have told me In the last few days that this financier prob ably could not scrap together more than $100,000,000 or so Just now, al thottght It has been stated In print that he has that many pounds or half a billion of dollars. Both of these authorities agreed, however, that the end of the war in South Af rica, where this vast fortune has Its roots, would assuredly bring a pro digious Increase in the Belt wealth. If lie keeps on at the rate of the last ten years the world will not have to wait much longer before get ting Its first sight of a billionaire. Belt made money as a diamond merchant at Klmherlcy and Invested It In diamond mines which brought Mm in touch with yotin Rhodes, who v.as laying the foundation of his por tion by his scheme for consolidating the diamond interests a scheme that proved to be a lucky one to Belt. In fact. Belt seems to have been Rhodes's chief helper in the business. Belt branched out Into the banking business, becoming a partner In the firm of Jules Porges & Co., prede cessors of the present great firm of Wernher, rieit & Co. When gold was discovered In the Transvaal, Belt was on the ground floor again, and with his Johannesberg partner Hermann Eckstein, soon became one of the great captains of tho Smith African gold Industry. He Is credited with having transformed South Africa gold mining from a speculation into a steady, well organized, conservative business, lie had the wit to Import the highest quality of American ma chinery, and to pay prodigious sal aries to such mining engineers as .John Hays Hammond, Hennan Jen nings and I.ottls Seymour to advise and superintend this huge enterprise, which before the war was putting out $'.10,000,000 worth of precious metal a year, and which, besides paying heavy taxes to Kruger. turned $20, 0oo.';00 a year of profit over to its shareholders. fills lucky son of Hamburg was grubbing along with onlv a meager $2,000,(00 or $3,000,000 In ISiio. Most of the stream of wealth that has pour ed Into his coffers ever since came from the gold of Johannesburg and the diamonds of Klmherlcy. Some of the diamond fortune was pure luck. When Rhodes, Belt and prior Barney Baruato became life gov ernors tinder the original De Beers charter they stipulated without dreaming that much would come of It beyond making an impression on tne shareholders, that they should have a fourth part of the profits after the company had paid 30 per cent to the shareholders. But the dia monds were so astoundlngly plentiful that this fourth of the surplus turned out for the ten years before the war about $1,000,000 a year. When It Is considered that Rhodes and Belt were likewise the chief shareholders, with their 30 per cent and their three fourths of the surplus profit, one can understand how It Is thnt they didn't run short of pin money. Of course the war cut off most, of this Income and Mr. Beit doubtless feels the pinch of poverty severely. It is hard to have to lie on the In t rents of $100,000,000 or r,o when you have hftii formerly ait aiidii ioiin! iu rome of maybe $1.0oo,0oo or more a year for current expenses. The Beit interests are not limited, however, to Johannenburir and Klin berley. He helped to originate the British South Africa company, and has huge interests In the chartered company, paying his share of the company's annual deficits with a steady confidence that showed his loyalty to Rhodes. The. Do Beers company got a grant of 400 square miles In Rhodesia, too. In return for their help at the time of the Matabele war. Belt Is a director in the Rhode r.l a railways, limited, and was so much In sympathy with Rhodes that he had a hind In the Jameson raid. Through his firms he controls com panies having a nominal capital of $IOo.oeO,000, and as most of the stock Is listed at high premiums it may bo imagined how great Is the influence ho exercises. Like Rhodes again, he doesn't speculate, and tho confidence In his Judgment and financial Integ rity arc so great that there Is ft whole rvann of Httlo fellows with only $10. OOO.OOO or $20,000,000 apiece ready to put as much as ho asks for into any b( heme he has on hand. What manner of man Is It who has a grip on more power over human for tunes than even the autocrat of all the Russlas? He seems to be chiefly remarkable for negative qualities. He has none of the slapdash, devil-may-care ways that distinguished Barney Barnato, none of the taste for bluffing that made Hooley celebrated, none of Rhodes's commanding Individuality, no fads, no taste or ostentation, and no niggardliness. Yott could not find a better example of polished, court eous, reticent, well-balanced man of the world. A man who has dined occasionally In Belt's Tark I.ane house says he Is an admirable host; not efftiBlve, cer tainly, but simple and cordial and Pennine. The house Itself has been furnished with an eye to the avoid ance of display, l'erhaps Its most striking feature la a rockery Just ofT the dlnlnf room, which, with tho pres sure of a button, becomes a beautiful rlu of water falli, delighting tba eye and cooling the air. Choice din ners are given there occasionally, and high and mighty folk are often amour; the guests, but mont of them are busi ness connections of the host in one way or another, and women are rare ly Included. It la dramatic to picture a multi millionaire as working harder than any of his employes, and as being obliged to live like Rockefeller on crackers and milk providing one can't go to the other extreme and have him light his cigars with $1,000 bills and have his pet poodle's teeth filled with gold which last manifes tation Is a matter of record in the his tory of Hooley. But, unfortunately, this quiet, courteous little German Jew does not come up to any of these requirements. He does not even work hard nowadays, and spends a good deal of time riding, a recrea tion of which he is as fond as Sir Charles DUlte. He has succumbed to fascinations of golf, too, and although by no means a bon vivtnt, he seems to get a good deal of quiet enjoyment out of life. Reticence seems to be tho Belt motto. It Is harder to get into his business offices In Bishopgate street tbe finest business offices in the city than It is to get Into the sanc tum Banctorium of the Bank of Eng land; and as for seeing the man him self on any business abort of a mil lion or for some personal reason, you cannot even approach his private sec retary without an introduction. The clerks iii his employ Include several members of. the aristocracy, and nearly all of them are Oxford or Cam- j bridge men. Even the office boy 13 cultured. Although this South African poten tate is not as lavish in his gifts as Andrew Carnegie and Pierpont Mor gan and has even got the credit for being rather cold toward charity, I am told by a man who ought to know that his personal gifts In the name of his firm have exceeded those of the Rothschilds in the last ten years. An Intimate associate credits him with having given $500,000 to broken down South African friends since the war began. It is also said that he pays the best salaries of any employer in London. Almost the only unusual thing about this plutocrat Is his passionate fondness for the theater. He has no country house and never leaves Lon don except on business trips. A FIVE MILLION SALE. Thos. F. Walsh Lets the Camp Bird Mine go to London Purchasers. Something more than $5,000,000 is the amount that Thomas F. Walsh re ceives for the Camp Bird mine in Ouray county. The sale was actually completed In New York city last Mon day and word ot It was received In Denver yesterday. The property will go into the hands of the Camp Bird company, limited, at once, and the deeds have been filed In Ouray coun tv. ! The term, nf the anln lire aa fol lows: Thomas F. Walsh receives $3, 100,000 in cash, which was paid him through the bank of J. Pierpont Mor gan, as soon as the deal was com pleted, the money being cabled to New York city by the purchasers In London. Mr. Walsh will later receive $2,000,000 in cash from the purchas ers, and about $100,000 In stock in the new company. The exact amount of stock he will receive is not known by persona in Denver concerned in the deal. It Is understood, however, that Mr Walsh still retains a substantial Interest In the Camp Bird mine, and that he has by no means gone out of the mining business. The property transferred is about 90 acres of mining land in Ouray and Han Miguel counties, Including several mill sites and lots In the city of Ouray. The camp Bird company, limited, takes over the patented claims of the Walsh property, as It is not legal for foreign corporations to hold unpatented claims in this coun try. A subordinate company known an iiit: i.aii of citizens of the United States, has been formed to take possession of the unpatented property but is prac tically one with the English com pany, the Camp Bird company. Unit ed. The latter takes about 75 per cent of the Camp Bird claims. The English corporation still exists under the Incorporation that was perfected over a year ago, and the filing of these old papers Is explained by this fact. It Is stated by members of the law firm of Thomas, Bryant & Lee that tharps of the new company will be placed at .C5 or $25 a Rhare, and the total capitalization, as shown In the articles of Incorporation, Is $8,000,000 It Is stated that this margin of about i S3 (Kin (Kill nliovn thn nnrehnun r,i-!. a Is allowed In order to take new claims that may be found available, but. that there will be absolutely no profit to the public In the saie; as all the stock Is to bo underwritten by tho parties to the transaction. The value that was placed upon the mine at the time of its proposed sale in 1900 was about $10,000,000, while the sale Is made for a little more than $3,000,000. It Is explained that the decrease does not represent an actual fall In tbe value. It has been nearly two years since these terms were agreed to, and during all that time valuable ore has been taken out of the mine. The difference be tween tho original price and the realized price represents a rough es timate of the value of the extracted ore. Denver Republican. ber Mother Was There. Conklcy So you've gone to house keeping, eh? How do you liko your house? Joaklpy Oh, there's too much mother-of-pearl about It. . Coakley You don't mean to say that the house Is ornamented with It? Joakley Ornamented? I should say not. My wife's name Is Pearl, that's all. Philadelphia Press. The attorney general of Minnesota has ruled that the use of the Lord's prayer In public schools Is prohibited by the state constitution. THE MODERN WARFARE. Full thick and fast the battle raged; The balls Hew swift and hot, And no one's ardor wus assuaged 'Till he'd received a hot. Erstwhile the shot came In the breast, Or erstwhile In the eye, But still each hero stretched his vest, liesworn to do or die. So man such battle ever viewed And keep his nerves Intact The adversaries' eyes fast rlued t'pon the balls they whacked The watchers of the tournament In deep and srrlri array, Their prayers (and bets) to heaven sent For the winner o' the fray. The strife Is o'er, the battle done; The victor takes his Kfltre: The cheers ring out for vict'ry won. 1 he loser champs in rage. Th .floor Is .straight with posies strewn, - In honor of the strong! Now would It not make strong men swoon? The game was well. PIng-Pong. H. R. V. in Inter-Ocean. To Err is Human. BY JEANNETTE HADF.RMANM WAL WORTH. (Copyright, 1901, by Authors' Syndicate.) "0 F course their trousers will bag at the knees and their sieves be miles too short, and they will be surnerior to such ef fete requirements as fresh handker chiefs and look askance at table napkins." "Anything Is conceivable of two Ver mont farm-reared boys, but I do wish, Betty, you would not itemize the hor rors of the situation. Betty Vance, you are abominable." This because Betty tmpcrturbably pursued the itemizing process. "Of cottrr.e, they will say 'yos, mam.' and 'no, s-ir,' with a down East drawl, and will be deeply embarrassed by their own legs and hands, which are sure to be huge and hairy. And their hair will have that unmistakable air of having been cut at home with a dull par of shears, or chewed off by predatory calves." "Oh, Betty, don't. I shall die of hys terics. Why should papa inflict them on us?" "Because in remote ages of antiquity their mother's step-aunt married our father's brother's nephew. Papa comes out strong on consanguinity." "Of course, they will Insist on cous Inlng us." "Once, perhaps," said Miss Alice Vance, with a dangerous gleam in her fine eyes. "They will never repeat the offense. I shall insist upon papa's in troducing us as 'Mies Vance' and 'Miss Betty Vance.' " "Much good that will do us." The Misses Vance, of West Eighty fourth street, had always been vague ly conscious of certain obnoxious con nections In Vermont, but it had never occurred to them that these undesirable connections would ever have to be reck oned with personally. That morning their father had read aloud to them a letter from the mother of the two Imminent invaders in which se asked naively that. Cousin George would steer her two good laddies through the dark labyrinths of Greater New York." From the reading of the let ter, Bank-j er Vance had looked appealingly at his two elegant daughters. "I guess these McMaster boys haven't seen much of the world you have moved in, my dears. Doubt if they would know a golf stick from a hoe handle, but for my sake I ask you to be good to them. When I was a struggling youngster the woman who writes this appeal to me was good to me. I should like to pay my debt to her. But I can't if you won't help me." Of course they would help him. And !t was only after he had driven from thn door in his smart coupe that they allowed themselves the freedom of crit icism and prophecy. "The very fact that their mother says the boys want to see their first Fourth of July In New York, shows how fright fully crude they all are, when every sane person tries to get out of town at that, very time. I thank heaven that most of our friends will be gone." Father says they have been edu cated, Allie." "To know a book from a wheelbar row, perhaps." "I am going after little Blake," said Miss Vance, with decision, as she left the lunch table. "What for'" "She is as near kin to these gawks as we are, and I'm going to compel her to hare our responsibilities and our hu miliations." "But the strike is on, Allie, along the very line you will have to take to get to Letty. And papa says they are grow ing bidder and more intractable every day." "If we are to stop using the cars be cause there is a tie-up on a few line we may as well give up going out of the house at all. Somebody Is always strik ing about, something or other. I'll go alone if you are afraid." "As If I would let you Incur any risk without me, even Vermont cousins. It would be a comfort to have Lettle here to dinner. We'll fetch her at all haz zanls.' "You see, my dear," Miss Vance re marked In continuance of a conversa tion begun while she and Miss illake waited on a street corner for a car, "it. Is as much your duty to see us through this ordeal as it is ours. They are your kin as much as ours. I know I shall ex pire ot mortification before the week is out. If you bear of my sudden de mise, please see to It. that 'Died of the McMasletB' la Inscribed on my head ctone." "She was talking across Betty to Let tie, A tall young man. Irreproachably dressed, who had given up his seat when the trio looked as if they needed It, and who was reading his limtine under some difficulty as ho swung by a trap. glanced at her over tho top of his paper, and moved a few steps far ther away. Betty, who as a rule was more ob servant than her Sier, rebuked Allie for her mention of names. "How d you know his name Is not McMaRters, Allie? Our family havo not patent rights to it?" "Who, that man behind tho pape,-? He Is a gentleman from the very looks of his pink finger-nails down to his polished shoes." WhlM whlM whizz! In quick suc cession three well-nlmed missiles fell upon the front platform of the car, The motorman reeled. His firm hold upon the brake relaxed and he sank to tbe floor In a senseless heap. With blanched cheeks the conductor Bi3d swlft'y from tali p-nt on the rear platform to take his comrade's place. A rain of bats, sticks and gravel reward ed his adherence to duty. He groaned and turning a pale face towards the frightened pasengers, said nervously: "I guess they've got .'f. in for us. They've broke a wrist frr we. I can't manage the brakes at all. I wanted to run her straight for the stables, making no stops by the way." The man behind tbe Tribune flung down his paper and beckoned with his eyce to a pasenger near the rear door. "Fred, can't you and I run her through? I believe I can tackle the brakes. If they floor me, as they have those two brave fellows, take it in hand conductor long enough to call a carr.ag3 yourself. Between us all we ought to be able to care for this crowd. You women get down on the floors. That's the safest place." He was out on the front platform. The car jumped forward under his en ergetic if unpractleed touch. He scarcely looked official with the tails of his cutaway streaming out behind, and his hat, which had received the imprint of one missile before he got the car un der way, adhering to one side of his head in a rakish position. But his sin ewy figure and the fire in his eyes as he glanced savagely to right and left at the hooting, running mob, he was rapidly leaving in the rear, inspired the trightened passengers with absolute confidence. No one was more relieved than the amateur motorman when a knot of blue-coated officials standing on the sidewalk located the car stables for him. . ' Here we are," he said, bringing the ear to a stop with an awkward suddpn nef.s, "and I'm glad of it, for these two poor fellows need attention." The crowd was surrounded by a ques tioning, clamoring, exclamatory group of officials. "how did you .manage it, if you never had a job before?" somebody asi;ed of the tall hero, who was vigorously mop piug his perspiring brow. "It had to be done, and somebody had to do it," he answered, quietly; and before anyone could express thanks or appreciation he had disappeared in tht crowd and vanished from sight. The man he had called to help jim in cafi? of being stricken, acted the role of for three badly frightened young ladies, and then he, too was lost to sight. Later on the same three damsels, ar rayed in faultless dinner garb, discussed the morning's adventure and the cow ing of the "gawks." "I'm glad we have something to talk to the creatures about. Wasn't he splended? He ordered us all around as if he were a general on the field." "Napoleon could not have been more autocratic. And did anybody ever see finer eyes?" "I like Fred's best," said Betsy. "There come the gawks now. I hear papa's latch key." Mr. Vance entered, followed by two tall young men. Alice gave a smoth ered scream. Betty groaned. Ot course he had heard every word they had said about him before he became a hero! Lettie Blake proved herself Invaluable. She seized McMaster's hand and asked, eaperly: "How did you do it?" He smiled down upon her quietly. "It had to be done, and somebody had to do it. That's about all there is to it. But I'm afraid Fred didn't take in many nickels for the company during the run." And Alice thanked him almost as much for relieving the situation of its gravity as she had for his running the car into safety. But there came a day when Mr. Artie Mc.Masters lost all semblaiuM of hero ism When he stood stammering and F.Tint terinir before beftiitifnl Alice Vance like the veriest coward in existence. "In fact." he said, forcing a smile to his agonized face, "if you say no to me, Cousin Allie, I shall try hard to die v ilhin a wsel:, and If I do, please see to it that you have inscribed on my headstone: 'Died of the Vances.' " ' "There, I knew you heard it, but yon have been behaving so beautifully I be gan to hope for the best" "I am still hoping for the best," he said, earnestly, "and the best this world can afford me is this dear little hand." "Oh. but Alfred. I'm not half good enough to marry a hero " "And Ferd and I have been scouring the city for the best patent trousers stretcher, and he has promised Betty to have al his coat sleeves touch his second knuckles. And and " "Want, to know?" Alice drawled, vith dovT. Ea::t intonation, liftir.g demure eyes to his, full of contagious fun. "I've always school myself to a graceful ac ceptance of the tnevitable " "That's me," the ex-motorman Inter rupted, with a radiant smile, and took entire possession of her, as masterfully as he had taken the ar brakes in hand. Alice drew herself out of his arms, to f.-uten sincere eyes on his. "But, Alfred, how can you forgive me?" "Tc err is human," he laughed. "To forgive divine," she sighed, nestling close to him in perfect content. BEATING THE MAIL. Many years ago, when Queen Victor la first began to reign, if. cost nine pence to send a letter from one English city to another. In those days, the postage was not paid by the sender of the letter as is now customary, but by the receiver. So of course there were many poor people who could no afford to pay nlnenenco when their mnil ar rived, and it often happened that they were obliged to forfeit the letters. One day a man named Rowland Hill was riding on the outskirts of a city, and he saw a postman bring a letter to a young girl, and demanded ninepence for It. The girl took the letter, scrutin ized It carefully, and then handed It back to the man saying she could not afford to pay thn postage. Thereupon Rowland Hill, being a kind-hearted tnan, rode up and Insisted upon paying It himself. When the postman had gone, the girl confessed to her bene factor that the letter was from her lov er, and to avoid paying ninepence on every letter, he made certain marks on the envelope which she alone could de cipher. "But," said Roland Hill, "don't you know you are doing something very dis honest, in thus cheating the govern ment?" The girl admitted sho did, but there was no other way to do. Hill rode nway, and meditated over this little incident, and his far-famed Idea of "penny postage" was the re sult. At first ho was laughed at by everyone, but be fought bravely and finally was rewarded by seeing bis idea In practice all over tbe land. 'UNCLE BILL AND !,. . .wn 4.1 "Y E3. I've been hypnertized," said Uncle Bill In reply to a ques tion by the editor, w-io had just returned from a court session, where a case of hypnotic sug gestion had been on trial. "How does a person feel when under the influence of hypnotism?" asked thf editor. "Feels like a fool what's afraid he's goin' ter have some sense that he won't know how ter use when he gits it," re plied Uncle Bill, who had got his feet fixed so that his tongue could wag. "When were you hypnotized?" again asked the editor. "Why, gee whiz, hain't yer heerd 'bout that yit?" queried Uncle Bill. "Some one was in and said that you had become a convert to hypnotism," replied the editor, "but I want my in formation from the proper source." "Wall, yer got it straight enough," replied Uncle Bill, who seemed a will ing convert, for some reason. "I would like to know why you be came a believer in hypnotism?" replied the editor. "You used to be one of the citizens who were opposed to it and claimed it to be a fraud." "When a feller steps inter a hole an' the water runs over his boot tops, there's mighty apt ter be water there whether he believes it or not," said Uncle Bill, "an' that's jest what I done with this hypnotism bizness. I stepped inter a hull pond uv the influence an' was lookin' 'round fur a fool an' found one in myself 'thouht stirrin' out uv my tracks, an' there's one advantage 'bout it a feller what's been hypner tized '11 own up ter bein' a fool" "How were you placed under the In fluence?" asked the editor. "Wall, yer see, it was like this: A feller come along an' stopped at my place an' wanted ter put lightnin' rods on the house an' barn an' I had made up my mind that no one could work me on that racket, but this feller hung 'round an' said he jest wanted ter put the rods up fur advertisin' pur poses, as he had ter have some place ter demonstrate, practically ter the peo ple, an' then he turned a crank, an' the gosh tiurnedest lot uv crackin' an' sparkin' I ever see went ter jumping 'round a box he had with him, ontil he got me ter thinkin' mebby I'd git struck by ilghtnin' myself. Wall, I no ticed that he was swing-in' his arms 'round a good deal an' finally he said he would put me up 75 feet fur nothin' an' jest charge me fur joints an' braces, an' if it would take more'n 75 feet which uv course it wouldn't he would jest charge 75 cents a foot fur it, but he knew 60 feet would do the work an' I would have a credit ter draw on ter offset the points and braces. So, aftei he made a few more passes an' motions he drew up a contract, which I needn't sign, but he would. I said go ahead. Gosh durn my buttons, he had me fixed then." "Do you mean hypnotized?" asked the editor. "Sure thing. Yer see, I got so'st 1 could nee the lightnin' comin' out uv the clouds an' makin' fur my barn, an' I got in an aJIfired big hurry ter have the rods on. Jest thing uv me havin' a lightnin' railroad, fur nothin' an' have ter wait fur it. Next day a feller come 'round an' put up the safety valves fur lishtnin' an' then I come to," said Uncle Bill. "What brought you to?'" asked the editor. "Wall, yer see this feller had a bill agin me fur $300.75 an I had ter pay it. Say. that was enough ter make the brass nubs fall off uv ole 'Brindle's' horns, an' mebby yer think I didn't sweat. Did yer ever take a turkey bath, Mr. Editor?" "Turkish hath you mean, don't yon" corrected the editor. "I mean somethln' as makes yer sweat like thunder." replied Uncle Bill. "And you mean that you were hypnotized by that agent," asked the editor. "Sartin I was. Didn't I tell yer I could see lightnin' comin' right out uv the clouds." said Uncle Bill nervously. "Oh, bosh! You was a great big sucker and wanted to lay it on to some one, so picked out a hynnotist," dis gustedly remarked the editor. "Say, do yer think I've got money ter throw away?" asked Uncle Bill. "Don't yers'pose I know when I'm hyp nertized? I can tell when I'm hypner tized an' that's more'n you can do. Any one can come In an' throw a light r.in' story at yer an' yer set there an' lif.ten with yer mouth wide open jest ns though yer never heerd 'bout light nin' afore. Say. but yer easy ter throw a story at. I didn't bring yer eny sub scribtions ter yer paper, but I had yer hypnertized. all right. Next time I'm in town call mo in tor see if I know enything 'bout it, will yer?" And as he passed out the door, the editor slowly recovered, rubbed his eyes, yawned and said to himself: "Guess I must have been dreaming." Insurance. Sweet Girl I am loved by two men, and I cannot make up my mind which to marry. What yould you advise? Old Lady Get both to Insure their lives in your favor and then wait until one of them dies. That will Insure the constancy of the other. New York Weekly. To secure prompt dispatch of busi ness the Japanese war offico has dona away with tbe chairs used by the Junior officials at the accountant's donarfmon att well as those provided In the waiting- rooms, i ne result is itaiea to M I successful. I t 3 f ii f '.V 1 k -y V- ,- t St