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mtH MOHAUMEDAN.
There It a living curiosity in the City
Priwm In the person of Henry Moore,
a eelf-Btyled Irish Mohammedan, who
lella a story of his adventures In Orien
ts! lads scarcely lens wonderful than
ar "Arabian Nlghu" tale. Moore was
arrested Sunday night on Montgomery
street for begging, and appeared yes
terday In Police Judge Morgan's court
to answer to a charge of vagrancy. He
Is 74 years of age and wears overall
a frayed and faded coat of broadcloth
and a silk hat. also much the worse
for wear.
In 1842, according- to his narrative,
Moore left County Clare, Ireland, and
nettled with his parents in Maine. He
Trttgrated to TTitr-sTateln 149, Tleaned4
up some dust, and three years later
took ship for Australia, where be mln-
. ed in the Forest Cheek diggings, eighty
miles out of Melbourne. After a stay
of four and a half years, Moore set out
for a trip around the world, going by
way of Ceylon to India. He had 25,
K to his credit then.
Arriving- In Hlndostan, Moore says,
a spirit of adventure prompted him to
loin the Mohammedan faith and be.
come a dervish. In this guise he wan
dered all over India, made his way in
to Afghanistan through the Khyber
Pass, and finally visited Teheran, Per
ils. The Journey consumed several
years, during which time Moore learn
ed the languages of the lands through
which he had passed and familiarized
himself with the duties and manners of
a dervish. After a short stay In Teher
an adventures as well as good fortune
were fairly poured upon the Celtic fol
lower of Mohammed.
Being the only European dervish
ever seen in the kingdom of the Shah,
Uoore's fame sonn reached the royal
palace. He was sent for by the favor
ite wife of the Persian ruler, who talk
ed with him and then recommended
to the Shah that be be engaged as
M&ulum Makahsus, or chief tutor to the
royat family. This exalted job, Henry
Moore says, he held for a period of five
years. He was also given the title of
lertlb, or colonel. In the perslan army,
and other favors were heaped upon
him by the shah.
. One day, upon finding that the young
princess could read and write English,
the shah gave Sertlb Moore an order
sn hi minister, Instructing that officer
to confer upon the white man an estate
ind a pension for life. The minister
refused to give him either estate or
pension., and Moore told one of his roy
al pupils about his reception, whereup
on the young prince told his father.
The haughty minister, Moore declares,
was packed off at once to a remote part
tf Persia under sealed orders to drink
Hemlock when he reached his destina
tion. tmemles then sprang up about hln,
teeklng his life, he says. He obtained
permission to go on a pilgrimage to
Mecca as a substitute for. the shah, and
having converted 'his wealth into 08,000
worth of diamonds, he set out on the
trip. Intending never to return to Te
heran. From Mecca he made hla way
iack to the United States In 1882, and
joon lost most of his money in Rocky
mountain mining. Then he tried Aus
tralia again, met with more bad luck,
tnd turned up here a year ago, olA and
with but little cash. He has none now.
Moore seems to believe his own story.
Ian Francisco Chronicle.
,Tr New Honey.
Honey Is enjoying renewed favor.
Men of wealth and leisure are testing
tnd experimenting with the different
kinds of honey, and wrinkling their
brows over the problem .of producing
what seemB to them the most desirable
Bnvor during the coming summer.
For . the bee Is no longer allowed to
pursue his own sweet peregrinations
nd sip the nectar of flowers wher
fver he chooses. Honey made In this
promiscuous way is much too ordinary.
Ills actions are restricted and guided.
As a result, such honey as never was
lasted before Is tickling the palates of
many. It Is the white sweet clover
flavor that has gained favor with the
picure, he goes systematically to work
to produce It; and plants a large pint
if ground, perhaps half an acre, with
this particular kind of clover. He has
It carefully kept from weeds, or any
sther variety of clover that might en
2evor to find a footing there. The
whote bed Is Inclosed and roofed with
t One wire netting, and the beehives are
Ihen placed within the IncloBure. From
the. bee's life, therefore, the spice of
. variety Is plucked, and try as he will
he can produce none other than white
iweet clover honey. In flavor It Is very
lelicate and almost white in color.
Yellow sweet clover honey Is pre
ferred by others. The flavor Is slightly
Itronger than that made from the
white variety and Its color Is a deep
yellow. Then there Is the honey that
Is made from thistles and milkweeds;
It Is amusing to hear producers of such
flavors tell of their tribulations In mak
ing these wayward plants grow within
their restriction. Home of the wild flow
er honey Is almost black In color and
the flavor Is certainly very different
from what It was In the days when
honey was honey and that fact settled
the question. It la almost verging on
the Indiscreet to mention buckwheat
honey nowadays, although It Is still ac
knowledged to have wonderful "staying
properties,"
Acetylene fas, as la generally known.
Is produced by moistening calcium car
bide with water. Home Idea of Its at
tentive us will be gathered when It ,1a
la learned that there la being erected
a! Niagara Falls a plant for the manu
facture of calcium carbide, which will
- have an output of 100 tona a day. Elec
trical energy equivalent to 15,000 horse
power will bt required to operate It,
A TROPICAL CUBAN CAVB.
A correspondent writing from Ha
vana says: "We who are here In Cuba
for a short time feel that we wish to
see all that we can before returning to
the states, and this all would scarcely
be complete without visiting Montserrat
and the cave at Bellamar, at Matan
sas, a natural formation, which the Cu
bans consider one of the wonders of
the Island. To spend only one day
there Involves the loss of considerable
sleep, for the ferry connecting with the
train leaves Havana at ( o'clock in the
morning, and the train with which it
connects leaves Regla at 6:20. It means
pretty early rising if one lives in Ha
van a, but if one lives in the suburbs.
ati mosliLjj& arnii jieoj do, luaeans
rising at 2 or half past.
On board we found a number of
American officers on their way to Ma-
tansas. Indeed, one might have almost
thought one's self in the states, there
were so many Americans on the train.
As we neared Matanzas the country
oecame mucn nigtier, and we had a
near view of the mountains the first
land one sees on approuching Havana
irom me united slates. They are
very high and stand out In bold relief
from the surrounding country. We
passed a number of cemeteries, in each
of which was a little chapel, and a cor
ner of each cemetery was a boneplt, or
as the Cubans call it, an osario. One
village of considerable size was com
posed entirely of stacks of one story
each, and of probably not more than
two rooms each. This village presented
a very odd apnea ranee.
In Havana one can usually And a
cab without any trouble, and we ex
pected that It would be the same in
Matanzas, but it was not, and we had
to walk several blocks before finding
one. The driver agreed to take us to
the cave and back for the Bum of $3,
American money. For the first part of
the distance the road was excellent
leading along the bay, a broad drive
not unlike the famous Ocean Drive at
Newport. Then It turns and goes up a
hill, rather gradual in slope at first,
but becoming steeper 'and steeper and
very rocky. When the summit was
reached a beautiful view greeted us
across the harbor and out to the open
sea beyond two points of lard, which
seem to almost form a gate.
The entrance to the cave Is reached
through a little house of one room,
perched on the summit of a hill. On
the door of the house is a placard tell
ing the rates of admission for soldiers,
50 cents; for officers and all other per
sons, $1, all of which is in American
money. This placard Is printed In both
Spanish and English. In the register
we found the names of many Ameri
cans from all sections of the states. A
small boy of eleven was detailed to act
as guide for us and several others who
were waiting. We came to the con
clusion that If this child could pilot
us the cave could not be as extensive
as had been said, and so we found It;
instead of being several miles in length
it was not more than half a one.
We entered the cave from the office
by means of several flights of wooden
steps, guided by the boy, who carried
two long candles of wax, which, he,
told us, had come from America. In
stead of finding cold air, as one does
In Mammoth cave, we found the tem
perature much higher within than
without. The , formations are very j
much the same as in other caves.
Names which imaginative minds have
suggested cling to various parts; there
are the Kobe ot coiumDUS, tne
"Twelve Apostles," the "Ballroom,"
the "Organ," and half a dozen other
names equally as appropriate or other
wise. Our guide showed us the place
where a Spanish captain had met
death, whether by accident or other
wise we could not make out; at all
events he had gone over the cliff and
his body had never been recovered.
No one Is allowed to carry away any
specimen from that cave, and for that
very reason all of us were anxious to
do so; the little boy had no objections;
indeed, helped us by showing us where
we could find the prettiest ones.
The cave was discovered by a Chinese
in searching for some stone, for his
house. Whether he owned the cave or
not I do not know, but for a long time
he acted as guide. Later It was bought
by an enterprising American, by whom
It Is still owned, If I mistake not. It
takes only a short time to walk thro'
It half an hour being ample unless on
wishes to linger along the way to study
the formations, All of the rocks are
not of pure whte; In some places they
are shell pink in others a delicate shade
of yellow. There are two springs, but
the waters from both are so warm
that there is no pleasure in drinking
them.
The air Inside of the cave is so warm
that when one gets back above ground
once more Its seems very much as
though It were a change to a colder
sone.
Several people were waiting In the
office, and as we went down the hill
we met others coming up, and there l
little doubt that the cave has Its full
share of Visitors. The trip to and from
town, Including the time spent In the
cave, took only about two hours, leav
Ing ample time to drive to Montserrat
and yet. catch the train back to Ha
vana at 3:30.
The Japanese are preparing to con
vert their copper ore Into wire for do
mestic and foreign use. Instead of ship
ping It out of the country as before.
The Furakawa Smelting Works have
for some time employed clectrollclt re
fining, producing In the past year duo
tona, but they are now to be enlarged
to four times their present size, and Ii
Is aaid that when the enlargement If
completed their output will so far ex
ceed the domestic demand as to permit
a considerable export. As the govern
ment uses several hundred tons of wire
a year, It may be Inferred that the
new work will kava a large capacity.
BRAIN WITH TWO OWNERS
Recently John Sterning, Jr., cf New
Tork was found almost asphyxiated
in his room.
The next day Intelligence gradually
left him, Eight days afterward he was
taken to any asylum. The morning fol
lowing he was quiet and sane. But
mentally he was not John Sterning, Jr.
An attendant entered and addressed
him. The young man looked perplexed.
He had actually forgotten speech and
the meaning of words.
His parents came to see him. The
proffered caress of his mother was met
coldly, and he took refuge behind a
chair.
Miss Freda Nelson, to whom Stern
-troy-was engaged, was sent to hitn.
was hoped that the sight of his sweet
heart would bring him to his senses,
He looked at her inquiringly.
"Don't you remember me?" Miss Nel
son cried. Sterning understood her
words no more than a baby could have
done.'
Some one handed him a newspaper.
He held it upside down.
The work of developing Sternlng"s
mind was begun with an A B C prim
er and kindergarten methods. Progress
was very rapid, and soon the young
man could converse with the fluency
of a ten-year-old boy. Everything
marriage, filial relations, government
sun, moon stars had to be explained.
The first sight of a piano amazed him,
John Sterning No. 1 had been a dis
gracefully bad billiard player. John
Sterning No. 2 quickly learned to han
die a cue like a professional. Before
his mental mix-up he disliked mechan
ics. Now he had the muscle sense
of an artist. He sang and played the
piano and banjo.
Under his sweetheart's tuition he
had become a devout Christian. The
new Sterning was an Atheist.
Now comes a curious feature. Al
though he did not recognize Miss Nel
son, his fiancee, yet, after her frequent
visits to him In the asylum, he learned
to love her again.
There was no reason why he should
be confined, so he was given his liber
ty. "It's strange," he said, three months
laici, "my head feels numb and
prickling Just like a foot asleep."
Drowsier and drowsier he felt, and
finally he had to be carried to bed. He
refused to cat anything. About 11
o'clock he awoke. His father was In
the room.
"Hello, father," he said. "What are
you doing here? What time Is It?"
"Eleven o'clock."
"Guess your watch Is slow," said
Sterning. "It was after 12 when I
came home." Then he glanced around
the room.
"What's the matter. The whole room
Is changed. This Isn't my room, at all.
This Is queer. I go to bed In one room
after midnight and wake up In another
room an hour before I went to bed.
How did It happen?"
A great hope filled the father's breast.
He trembled as he put the question:
"What date Is this?"
"Think It's the twentieth," was the
doubting answer.
Twentieth of what?" The old man
could scarcely contain himself.
"November, of course," exclaimed
the young man Impatiently.
"What did you do last night?"
"Called on Freda, had supper at the
club and came home. But what's the
matter?"
7',; matter cf course, was that the
original John Sterning had come to life
again,, while the second John Sterning
was as dead as the first had recently
been.
Why Hair Does Not Curl.
That the curly wool of the African
race Is extremely fine hair, Instead of
coarse, as has been supposed from the
reputation given It in former times, is
one of the statements made by Arthur
Thompson. He claims to have discov
ered the mystery of why hair curls or
does not curl. On this subject he Is
quoted In the New Orleans Picayune as
saying:
"Each hair follicle Is provided with
a gland and muscle. The size of the
gland varies considerably In different
Individuals, and from my observations
appear larger and better developed in
the negro races. The muscle, I may
stale, has an Influence on the position
of the hair, thus converting the shaft
Into a lever.
"In pursuing my Investigations I dis
covered that straight hair Is always
circular In section and Is usually thick
er thmi.L-uriy hair, r.-hlch Is r!bb"n-IUe
and fine, the finest human hair being
that met with In the Bush and Anda
man races. These facts have a most
Important bearing on the subject. In
order that the muscle that I have de.
scribed to you, may act as an erector
of the hair, It Is necessary thnt the hnlr
must be sufficiently strong to resist
the tendency to bend. If the hair Is so
weak as to bend before the action of
the muscle, the lever-like tendency Is
nullified. When the halt Is fine and rib.
hnn-llke, the action of the muscle bends
it Into a curve, and this Is the reason
why the hair assumes the curly form
In the Hush scalp. .-
At Ast. In California, last year, a
cistern ln feet long by 34 feet wide
and 24 feet deep was formed In the hill
side for tnesto rage of wine. The Im
mense tank was lined with concrete 1
fept thick, and coaled Inside with a
ttlaze' as Impermeable as glnss. The
capacity of the tank Is 500,000 gallons.
"Come here, Johnny! I'm going to
give you a piece of" "Oh, mamma, Is
it lemon or custard pie?" "How dare I
you Interrupt me, Johnny? Come here!
I'm going to give you a piece of ad
vice 1"
I
SHORT STORIES.
THE CAPTAIN'S SIDE OF IT.
"There's another side to this question
of the criminal carelessness of the com
tnander, which we hear so much talk
about whenever a liner la lost," said
the captain of a big ocean steamer the
other day. "It's not the captain who
Is really to blame in one case out of
ten, even when he is running his ship
at full speed through a fog. It's the
public that's to blame, and I'll tell you
how It is.
"To begin wlti, everybody knows of
the Jlvairy between the different lines.
F.verybody knows what a ''difference
re is, In the estimation of the pub
1c, between the rival boats of the
same grade which start at the same
time and come in twenty-four hours
apart. The man who has traveled by
the boat that comes in twenty-four
hours behind is going to say to himself
that next time he will go on the So
and So, which must be a better boat,
for didn't she come in a day ahead
of the one he came on? The captain
of boat No. 1 is a hero for the time
being, and the company he works for
smiles on him. That he has run all
the way at full speed, through heavy
sea.1 and fogs, and has taken all kinds
of risks, he knows, but he doesn't say
anything about that, and the company
doesn't either. They have beaten the
other line, and that Is enough. The
captain of boat No. 2 which came in a
day behind the other knows Just what
Is in store for him before he reports
at the office of his company. This is
about what he hears:
"'Why, how is this, Mr. Blank! You
came In twenty-four hours behind the
So and So. What was the matter, any
how?'
' 'Well, you see,' says the ' Captain
'we had storms part of the way, and
when we got td the Banks we struck a
fog so thick you couldn't see your hand
before your face, and we had to run at
half speed all day.'
" 'Ahem!' one of the owners will say.
Ahem! It's a bad thing, Mr. Blank
for us to be beaten twenty-four hours
by the So and So.
"Capt. Blank says no more, but feels
that he has been reproved, and he re
members it on the next trip. The sea
may be running 'mountains high' and
the fog may be so thick you can't see
the funnel from the bridge, but he Is
bound to get In on time this trip, and
he does. The owners of the line smile
on him. So he knows what he is re
quired to do and goes on making rec
ord trips. It is the public, you see,
which the company has got to please
if It Is to exist, and the captain has
to please the company. Some day he
does this once too often. He collides
with another ship In a fog, maybe, or
runs on the rocks. Perhaps the nat
ural love of life or the thought of a
helpless family keeps him from delib
erately going to the bottom with the
ship, but he knows that his career is
at an end. The board sits on the
case, and if there is any evidence to
show that the accident was due to the
carelessness of the commander in run
ning at full speed In thick weather, or
whatever the case may be, he is repri
manded and his certificate suspended
for some months at least. When at last,
he gets the certificate back it has a
hole punched in it.
"Now let us suppose he has been a
faithful servant of the company for a
gouu i..iu, alia j - r ." " " .
cide to transfer him to another ship
and give him a chance for existence.
This new ship has to be Insured, of
course, before she goes to sea. The
underwriters make their Inquiries;
there comes up the question as to who
Is the captain of the ship. When they
hear the name they will probably pay,
'Why, let us see:' Isn't he the man who
sunk the So-and-So? Yes? Oh, we can't
take any risks on a ship commanded by
Capt. Blank. Put another commander
In his place and it will be all right.'
"The company Is obliged to dismiss
Captain Blank. Then he starts out to
find another situation. His certificate,
you remember, has a hole in it. " He
goes to see the owners of another line.
As soon as they hear his name they
say:
"'Oh, yes. Didn't you command the
So-and-So?
" 'Yes. I commanded that boat.'
"'Humph! Very sorry, captain, but
we haven't anything Just now. If we
should have anything we will let you
know.'
"This scene Is repeated at one steam
er office after another on both sides
of the water."
The captain leaned his elbows on
the table. "Do you wonder," he said,
after a pause, "that generally when a
liner is lost at sea her commander Isn't
among the saved? But mark my
words," he added, rising, "In almost
every disaster, when the cry of negli
gence Is loudest, it's the public that's
to blame, and not the captain, ' who
only does what he Is obliged to do."
HE BOOMED BUSINESS.
"Speaking of oysters," said the m
lor. "puts me In mind of the time I
went into the patent oyster business.
It was when I was with Smith & Cole
man, formerly proprietors of the St.
... .1 a-.... L a Vail) VnrL'
ZectWely but at he ime running '
respectively, but at tne time running
the Metropolitan In Washington. Bum-
left It to me. 1 concluded to try a
plan that would either make or break "The addition of side wnisxers tern
business. ' pers the mustache with a solid sugges-
"There were some old rubber mats tlon of business acumen, and if gray
In the store room, and I had the boys
wsih them thoroughly and then cut
them up In pieces about the slse of
a domlna. Taking about two tunarea
of theae pieces. I went to De Mar, the
chef of the hotel, and famed for hit
fried oysters, and asked him If he
could cover the chunks of rubber with
butter and brown It without getting
the rubber so hot It would smell. He
tried it and succeeded beautiully and
when I had placed the patent oysters
In a chafing dish behind the bar they
looked as appetizing as the real bi
valve ever looked when properly fried.
"My first customer was Smith, one
of the proprietors. He saw the oysters
and said, 'Good heavens, major, we
can't stand that. Fried oysters will
break us. Why, I know fellows who
will stand here and eat a dozen.'
"I told him I didn't think they
would, and as he wanted to try one
I passed it out on a plate with the
regulation forte. H-chwed on It
while and then took it out of his
mouth and looked at It. Just what he
said doesn't matter, but he went out
and sent Coleman in for an oyster. In
an hour or two the . run had com
menced, every fellow that got an
oyster went out to get a victim. Gen.
O'Burns brought in Frank Turk, John
Chamberlain Introduced Chester A.
Arthur to the dish, Sunset Cox, Sam
Randall, Allen G. Thurman and a host
of others were brought in only to say,
Don't give me away. I want so and
so ta have an oyster,' and they'd go
and get them.
'Teddy Quinn came to me, and says
he, 'Major, I want a dozen of your
oysters put up in a box for my frien
Flannigan of Troy. N. Y., to take with
him for lunch on his Journey home to
morrow. Flannigan had his wife with
him, and they did not open the oysters
until they got to Wilmington, and
there Flannigan went out to get some
coffee while his wife opened the lunch,
"She, good kind soul, asked several
ladies sitting near to help her eat the
oysters, and in truth she needed help
to eat them. When Flannigan came
back with the coffee there was a coach
load of about as angry women as can
be imagined. Flannigan tried one of
the oysters, to see what the trouble
was, and when he got home he wrote
me a letter. But the patent oysters
boomed the business, and I was known
for many a day as the rubber oyster
man."
SILENT BILL. STROTHERS. -"Don't
you believe that all the cow
boys of the west waste their breath
in yelling or talking," said the major,
as he was telling of life on a ranch
"I've got a man named Bill Strothers
who hasn't wasted a word since he was
old enough to speak. Men who have
chummed with him have told me that
he would go three or four days with
out uttering a word. I'd been trying
to find him for a year. One day I heard
that he was over at Red Hill, and
rode over and found htm sitting in the
shade of a tree. He nodded to me as I
got out of the saddle and I sat .down
beside him and said:
"Well, Bill, I'll give you $50 a month
to come over to the C. P. ranch. I've
got a dozen herders who need a hard
boss for a, few months. I suppose
you've got some private affairs to
straighten up, and I'll give you a week
to do It In. What do you say?"
'I said all that an perhaps more.
Bill gave me a look of reproach, and
slowly got up and mounted his cayuse.
Ithought Id lost him, and In some
anxiety I asked where he was going.
1 'Ranch, of course,' he grudgingly
replied, and he rode alongside of me
for thirteen miles without opening his
mouth again.
I'About eight months after he came
to me I took a two days' ride in his
company. In those two days I uttered
Just ten words, as duly recorded In my
notebook, and thoBe ten words were In
regard to the body of a man we found
hanging to a limb. I was mighty lone
some for a talk. I can tell you, but 1
started out with the intention to pre
serve my dignity. Bill muttered a
'Humph!' over the corpse, but let out
no word. When we got back home I
prided myself that I had won a . medal,
but in the midst of' my self -congratulations
in walks old Bill and says:
" 'Major, I'm goln'.'
" 'But what's the trouble?' I asked;
'Anything wrong with the work?'
"He shook his head.
" 'Want a raise of wages?' "
"He shook It again.
" 'You are not taking up a herd of
your own?'
"There was a third shake, and, draw
ing a long breath, aa If about to do
some desperate thing. Bill replied:
" 'See hyar. Major, I was out with
you for two days and you talked too
dam muchl
"I promised to better my record,"
laughed the Major, "and I'm sure I've
done it. I've spoken to him only twice
in the last eleven years, and I know
he thinks I ought to be president of the
United States." (
" " j
HOW TO WEAR WHISKERS.
"The first thing a young man should i
do In starting out In life," said an old
timer, oracularly, "Is to decide how he ,
wants to wear his whiskers. Then he
can choose his vocation accordingly.
The matter may be reduced to an exact i
science," he continued, "taking the
mustache as a basis. A mustache Is
essentially romantic and convivial, and
Is Important to any calling In which j
,..i fellnushln cuts a (Inure. If very
heavy and drooping It lends in air of '
'
sagacuy iu u . -
deau. !
and wel kept proclaim their wearer
an old-school gentleman whose palate
may be trusted on the question of vin-
tages. A mustacne ana imperial are en-
signs of determination and are valuable
for lawyers and doctor They luapiif
confidence. Up to middle age ama!
aide-whiskers of the mutton-chop braa4
are chiefly useful as Indicating aeiiou
ness of purpose.
"When they begin to whiten they art
indispensable to financial magnates ol
the first class symbols, so to speak, ol
austerity and haughty reserve. The
theory might be expanded indefinitely
but I am sure you catch its drift.
ought to add, by the way, that lone
chin whiskers are an excellent stimu
lant to thought. A friend of mine hai
an Immensely long goatee, without
which he would be as helpless as a
babe.
'Ordinarily his brain is in a state ol
complete repose, and when asked a
ftueRtioflJjrejpondgjwith a fishy stare.
Then his hand steals slowly up to hit
goatee and he gives, it a slight tug
That tug releases some sort of a catcb
in his mental machinery, and it pro
ceeds to grind out one think, where
upon he immediately gives you an in
telligent answer. If his chin whiskers
were shaved off he would be reduced
to a condition approaching coma."-
New Orleans Times-Democrat,
RODE IN ICE WAGON.
If you had happened to be near one
of the largest apartment houses in the
northwest quarter of the town one
hot summer's day you might have seen
a strange sight, for a gayly painted ice
wagon lumbered up to the door and
the iceman handed out, not a cake ot
ice, but a real live woman, and a pretty
woman at that. Great was the aston
ishment of everybody who saw, but
the woman herself wasn't in the slight
est degree embarrassed. She had been
hurrying all over town since morning,
making ready to go away for the sum
mer, and when at last she stepped into
a small shop in a side street to attend
to the very last errand on her list she
was beginning to be dizzy, and her
head ached with the terrific heat till
she was on the verge of collapse, saya
the Washington Post. The shopkeeper
suggested calling a carriage, but she
was afraid to wait. Just at that mo
ment an ice wagon drew up to the curb
and the woman well, a moment latel
she was sitting on a borrowed stool
between two blocks of ice in that wa
gon. She simply had herself delivered
at her own door, and she firmly believe
that if she had waited for a carriage
she'd have succumbed to the heat. Th
ice wagon, she says, and she doesn'l
forget to add her own common sense
saved her life.
BROKE UP THE MEETING.
In the recent political campaign, h
Baltimore the campaign was particu
larly hot in the Sixth ward. In thai
ward, though no longer a fashionable
section, there dwell many substantial
citizens, the younger members of whos4
families may have married and moved
to more desirable sections of the city,
but the parents remain in the old home
stead. A mass meeting was called la
Market House Hall, in this ward, and
special committee was appointed U
wait upon the oldest residents and te
invite some of them to a place of hon
or upon the platform, and to induce
some of them to say a word or two aa
to the great blessings to be enjoyed un
der our form of government, most of
which were ascribed to the party hold
ing the meeting, and to give a little
advice to the younger men to vote ear
ly, if not often.
The hall was crowded, and great en
thusiasm prevailed. The old citizens
of the ward were prominently In evi
dence and filled the platform. The old
est, the wealthiest, and, as it was
maintained by many, the meanest man.
of the number, was a retired hog
rover and land owner. He was Intro
duced with a great flourish by the
chairman, bowed profoundly when the
applause had ceased, and said In bro-i
ken English:
"My Fellow Citizens Sixty years ago
come to dis country a poor poy
what am I now? .
In the pause that followed a deep
bass voice in the rear of the hall called
out:
A damned old hog!"
POLLY AT THE 'PHONE.
One West Madison street druggist lost
customer on Monday through hla
fondness for pets, says the Chicago
News. He had a large green parrot and
the cage is hung near the telephone,
with the result that Polly has become
quite proficient in "telephone talk," and
furnishes much amusement to the cus
tomers who have time to stop and lis
ten. On Monday a stylishly dressed youn
lady came rustling Into the store and
asked permission to u?e the phone.
Tne druggist pointed to the rear of the
tare and she started in that direction.
The store was rather dark, and when
she heard someone apparently talklnf
Into the receiver she seated herself or
a chair to wait.
"Hello, central hello, hello yes.
give me rour-flouoie-eifcni expresn.
Yes. hello; who Is that? Oh, yes;
what, yes; hello, I say; no; I didn't get
that; Is that so ;well, goodby, ring off;
hollo, central; hello, hello; give me"
and so on, and so on through several
repetitions.
Then she rn?e snd ndvnnced with It
stately air to the clerk and asked If h.
.h,,ht thnt "nerson" Intended to use
"Which do you love most ynur pnpa
or your mamma?" Little' Charlie f
love papa mont. Charlie's Mother
Why, Charlie, I am surprised at you. 1
thought you loved me most. Charlie-
Can't help It, mamma; we men have t
hold together.
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