Ro Conger Wild and Woollp
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We are cultured to the limit In the fa
mous Western land.
Christianity upon us has a cinch.
And refinement In our action always
plays a winning hand
We are getting there, dead certain, Inch
by inch.
As an ornament the pistol is completely
out of date.
Very rarely do we have a shutenfest.
We are up with the procession and we
mean to hold our gait
It no longer id the wild and woolly
West.
We are short of desperadoes, scarcely
ever see a tough
With a yearning crax? for shooting up
the town.
And the tenderfoot from Jersey wlK-n hs
tries to run a bluff
Undergoes a rither hasty calling down.
We are drinking Letter liquor than we
did In days of yore.
And we go about more fashionably
dressed;
The advance wave of prosreas quenched
our burning thirst for gore
It no longer Is the wild and woolly
West.
Not a Christian man among ug wears his
breeches In his boots.
And the old wool shirt Is but a mem
ory now.
And we look with disapproval on the ten
derfoot galoots
Who are sporting big sombreros on the
brow.
We are seen at church on Sunday ere the
trout begin to bite
With a holy flame alight In every
breast.
And we're always In our couches at the
stroke of 12 at night
It no longer i the wild and woolly
West.
And our ladies, heaven bless 'em, are so
modest, nice and aweet,
Tou would think them truant angels
from the skies:
Never see them dash astraddle on their
bronchos through the street,
Making hosiery displays for staring
eyes.
Not a slangy word or sentence ever rip
ples from their lips,
For a high old time they never go In
quest;
Not a gun Is ever peeping from the
pocket on their hips
It no longer is the wild and woolly
West.
Oh, you bet your filthy lucre, we're re
fined to beat the band,
We have culture to distribute to the
birds.
And the brand of fresh morality we al
ways keep on hand
Couldn't be described in common rhvmy
words.
We in every moral attribute are strictly
recherche.
And that same's no plpey visionary Jest,
And we love the rugged country into
which we've come to stay
It no longer Is the wild and woolly
West.
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Two WorldsandTheirChildren. ;
BY ETHEL M. COLSON.
(Copyright. 1001. by Daily Story Pub. Co.)
The trolley car which had been dash
ing along toward Chicago stopped sud
denly, held upon a suburban street
corner by the inevitable coal wagon
with a tendency to break down. Frank
lin Atherton gazed Idly at the earnest
group of Salvation Army workers on
the other side of the street. Suddenly
in a momentary cessation of the pon
derous drum-beats a clear, sweet, femi
nine voice faltered out softly:
"Ah! I have sighed to rest me
Deep in the quiet grave."
The rest of the words were surpris
ing Salvation Army adaptations of the
most characteristic type. But Frank
lin Atherton never heard them. With
bound be bad reached the side of the
singer the girl whom he would nave
asked to become his wife long ago
but that he feared to face poverty with
her. He had not seen her for nearly
two yearg.
"Margaret! How came you with
these people?"
The girl looked at him gravely.
"When your world the world which
was mine also until my father died
and left me penniless found no time
or space or attention for me I turned
to the world in which men and women
work instead of play. Not knowing
how to work I went hungry. When I
was homeless and seeking death be
cause no other course seemed open ths
Salvation Army workers found me.
They saved my life and soul. Now I
am trying to save others."
The gong of the trolley clanged out
at the moment It seemed like a sum
mono to another world.
"Margaret!" The words seemed
drawn from him. "Leave this life, for
Cod's sake! Come with me."
after him as he sprang aboard the
trolley, "we may meet again, some
time. When we do, perhaps "
But he wag gone.
Three years later Franklin Atherton
had also disappeared from the world
which had once known him. Exces
sive haste to be rich, the gambling
fever, an unlucky speculation, these
were the successive steps by which he
had reached starvation and despair.
For a man of his temperament all
things seemed ended. He was heading
for the river when there smote upon
his Jaded ear the sound of a flagellated
drum, the clear note of a silver trum-
-Cam mm yon wttt tWs poopwr
"Am ywar 1te, Franklin"
XU EsSut of dcK and VBcortafaty
. tx fcJ tJM stort-ttwi that tew
rcJ tan mm It tot too girl
tml wjr M those aha had swf-
cr7. Tw tm sow oacc. to
What is the matter, my brother?"
pet. Then, as he listened instinctively:
"Ah! I have sighed to rest me
Deep in the quiet grave."
It was no dream. It was not the
result of a fevered Imagination. The
voice was unmistakable, the intonation
quite beyond question. His manhood
left him suddenly, and be tank down
upon the curbstone, sobbing. The
clear, sweet voice came nearer. A
gentle hand was laid upon bis arm.
"What Is the matter, my brother?
What can we do to help you?"
Soft, hurrying footsteps followed him
into the shadowy, darkened sldestreet
to which he hastened. Aga'.n the gentle
hand was laid upon bis arm.
' "It's no use, Margaret. Do yon sap
pose I'll be cad enough to let you help
me, after the treatment you hive re
ceived at my band? 04 bless you
good-by."
The girl made no immediate answer
in words.
Turning, she beckoned to tbe blue
coated co-worker who had followed
her from the lighter street
"This It a very dear friend of mine,
"Lieutenant Caldwell," she told bin.
with a voice which shook a little from
varied emotions, but with eyes which
hone and sparkled, "and he is la
trouble, in need of assistance. I know
1 can trust yon to do all that yon can
for hint, for my sake as veil as for the
sake of the aua who Is going to he
mr hatband sob day."
"Kara!!"
The asaa was haaMod at neither
MTtrtr. aUghts. huagtr, cold, nor rag
Ctatas haO host yotatt to kaafeta
him. But there was no bitterness 1b
the humility with which he kissed hei
fingers, there In the darkened street.
"Margaret, you are an angel, and I
will be worthy of you yet I swear it
I will be your husband some day II
the good Lord and yourself w'.'.l allow
it but I'll be a man first, by Ood!"
And the quiet stars, looking down
impressively on the flagellated drum
and the throbbing hearts of ths mea
and women around it, saw and knew,
somehow, that a new soul had been
born.
EGYPT A3 A WINTER RESORT.
Africa More Interesting to nritUh Tour
ists Than Southern Europe.
Every indication i3 forthcoming that
the approaching season In Cairo
and on the Nl'e will be a prosperous
one, and visitors will probably exceed
the record of last year, when so many
English people deserted the Riviera
for Egypt A!l the hotels promise to
be full, and the newer health resorts
will not lack for patrenage. There now
include Helouan, within half an hour's
railway ride of Cairo, which has sul
phur baths, recommended for rheuma
tism, and several first-class hotels and
pensions, whi'e furnished villas may
be hire! Assouan, which is described
as the driest accessible health resort In
the world, has two large hotels and an
English church, and Is growing In
popularity year by year, rivaling Lux
or, so well known to invalids and
others who dare not face an English
winter. At Luxor, also, hotel exten
sions have tiken place, and no modern
improvements are wanting. Assousan
is the starting po'nt for the further
voyage to Wady-Holfa. Sportsmen in
search of big game are making up par
ties for fchooting buffalo, giraffe, rhino
cerous, hlppotamus and elephant in
the district lying between Khartoum
and Fashoda. The regulations are
now somewhat more stringent, owing
to the Increase In the number of guns
Dahabeahs, steam and sailing, and
modernized for the type of craft goes
back to the days of the Pharoahs
provide the most luxurious and neces
sarily costly means of conveyance, and
the fleet available is always in keen
demand for families making applica
tion a long time In advance. London
Telegraph.
Qnren Alexander.
Love for children is a prominent
trait of the character of the queen con
sort She was passionately devoted to
her own children, and she has never
wholly recovered from the death of
her eldest born, the Duke of Clarence.
Several months after her bereavement
she was walking in tbe lanes near her
home, when she met an old woman
staggering under the weight of bur
dens too heavy for her. The princess
stopped her to speak a few words of
sympathy, and learned that she per
formed the duties of a carrier, execut
ing commissions between two villages.
"The bundles are too heavy for me!"
she lamented, bursting into tears. "I
never carried them when Jack was
here." "Who is Jack and where is he
now?" kindly inquired the princess.
"Jack's my boy, and he's dead dead!"
wildly exclaimed the old woman. With
another sympathetic word Alexandra
turned away, hurriedly lowering her
veil to hide her emotion. She could
understand the sorrow of a mother who
had lost ber boy. The next day there
was sent to the woman a cart drawn
by a stout donkey. In this cart the
old carrier made her Journeys In com
fort for tbe rest of her life.
Willing to Oblige.
An Englishman at a dinner once told
a tale of a tiger he had shot which
measured twenty-four feot from snout
to tail-tip. Everyone wag astonished,
but no one ventured to Insinuate a
doubt of the truth of the story. Pres
ently a Scotsman told his tale. He had
once caught a fish which ho said he
was unable to pull in alone, managing
only to land it at last with the aid of
six friends. "It was a skate, and it
covered two acres." Silence followed
this recital, during which the offended
Englishman left the table. The host
followed. After returning he said to
the Scotsman: "Sir, you have Insulted
my friend. You must apologize." "1
dlnna Insoolt him," said the Scot.
"Yes you did, with your two-acre Hen
story. You must apologize." "Well,
said the offender, slowly, with the air
of one making a great concession, "tell
him If he will take ten feet off that
tiger I will see what I can do with the
fish." London Tit-Bits.
A Lesson on Lobsters.
The methods of public school In
struction, as applied in New York city,
do not always meet the approbation of
the parents of the pupils, as was evi
denced the other day when a German
woman of commanding figure strode
into the school, and, approaching the
principal, demanded: "What it Is, a
lobster?" Tbe principal politely ex
plained that a lobster was a species of
shellfish. "Veil, bow many legs has It
dls lobster?" Tbe number of legs
was stated. "Veil, I work me for a
hurry. Bd Tour teacher cannot flno
better dings than to ask my boy Jakey
how many legs has it, a lobster, and
make blm come home to bodder his
fadder mit questions, 'What It Is. a lob'
sterr It Is pad peesness." Youth's
Companion.
FIlatorT of the Stank.
Tho stank first sppssrs la history la
the year ItM, whan be was described
la Theodat's History of Canada. Ha
had been a long time on earth before
species of fossil skunks. Tho skunk
of the genius cninca rang over the
greater part of North America aad af
far sooth as Mexico. Other akanka art
fovaf ta Cf 'rsl and South America,
Htrt Tor tou
fHI Pictorial Bumor p
SHgaiB
FOOTBALL TKOUSHTS.
Miss Cutting Do you play Offenbach?
Cholly Hotalr No, not often; I have played
but I usually play "end.'
JOKES FROM JUDGE.
Mrs. Waggles I met the doctor to
day and told him about vour miHiiu.
lie said you were to take some v.'hisky
avery time you had the chills.
Waggles All right, my dear. I'll
bakj lor tho drinks.
First chorus girl What do you sup
pose persuaded Sadie to marry that
young brewer? He hasn't much
aioney.
Second cnorus girl Maybe not. But,
rou know, one has to begin at the
bottom of the ladder.
"An" did O'Brien hav a good wake?"
lsked Rafferty of Mulligan.
"Did ha?" replied Mulligan. "Shure,
n' if he'd been alolve to enjoy It he'd
a thought ho was havin' the toime of
tils life."
Mrs. Well ment Ain't you ashamed
to be begging for a living?
Weary Willie Not a bit. mum, I
wuz educated fer de ministry.
Miss Vaaaar Do you chew gum?
MIbs Wellesley Yes, I eschew It.
'fullback" once or twice,
BADLY ILLUSTRATED.
He was giving the young msn enrol
good advice ss they hung on two
straps in the trolley car and rode
downtown together.
"You must plant your feet care
fully," he said, "and know Just r.hers
you are going to step. Do nothing bj
Impulse. Be calm and deliberate
Don't hurry, and always be sure you
are right before going ahead."
Just then the car started with a vio
lent Jerk and the man of good advlct
lost his grip on the strap and plunged
up the aisle, stumbling on half a doz
en pairs of outstretched feet as he ad
vanced, and finally sitting down with
s heavy thump In the middle of th
aisle. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Tommy Sister got a pearl from an
oyster.
Willie My sister got a whole string
o' pearls an' a bokay from a lobster
If a man has Insomnia he Is seldom
troubled with nightmare.
If a baby is a well-spring of plcas-
jre twins must be a deluge.
SHE LOVED FICTION.
Agent Madam, I have here a complete history of
Housewiae No, 1 don't think
Agent And the Memoirs of Moses comes
Housewife Never mind, I say, I
Agent Or I can let you have this beautiful story entitled "Spilby," por
traying tbe life of a faithful domestic who dwelt for 15 days In the home ol
a New Jersey family, and
Housewife (eagi-rly) I'll take that; I just love fiction.
WOULDN'T SEE HIM.
He Dedbroke la a mean chap.
She Why?
He The doctor told him he was losing his eyesight, so he came around
tnd asked me for 20 until he saw me again.
IT WAS THE LANGl'ACE.
"I had heard about the beggars of
Rome long enough before I went
abroad," said the tourist, "and I bad
also made up my mind that they
should not profit by me. When I got
to the holy city at last and found my
self surrounded as I walked out In
the morning, I gave the crowd tbe
cold shoulder. One of them and he
was the frowsiest and raggedest of
the lot stuck to me till I lost my pa
tience and swore at him, and an hour
later I was arrested and taken into
court The charge was using profane
language In public, and after I had
been fined the equivalent of two dol
lars and was free to go I said to the
judge:
" 'You Italians are a curious people.
There are plenty of you who must
swear in pubiic.1
" 'That Is certainly true, glgnor,' he
replied.
" 'Then why line me for doing It?'
'Because you swore in English and
not In our beautiful Italian tongue.' "
Stranger Are. the farmers thrifty
down here?
Crawfoot Thrifty ain't no name for
It! Why, they put tbelr scarecrows on
the railroad track, Bwear they are hir
ed men an'' then recover damages for
loss of service.
hardly
young
glt,tln"
In the Sannjr Mouth.
'Why, Brother Dickey, I
knew you, you're looking so
and spry! What's up now?"
"Well, suh, I studyln" 'bout
married ergln dat's all?"
"Getting married?"
"Yes, suh, I made de 'qualntance er
a young gal t er day, en she lowed
dat ef I'd shave off my gray whiskers,
en chop off de hair what on my head,
en. stop llmptn' wld de rheumatism,
en wear cloze what come out de
to', en smoke se-gars 'stidder pipe,
en stop preachln' 'gin danein', en se
cure my life In her favor fer one hun
dred dollars, she'd marry me. Dat
how come I look so young!"
A Hlad Opinion.
"I sm very much Inclined," saM
?ol. Stllwcl), to the belief that total
abstinence ought to be encouraged."
"I am surprised to hear you say
.hat."
"Welt, It bss just occurred to pie
:bst If the demand for spirituous bev
i rages were not so targe the cost
night become a little more reasons
ile." Washington Btar.
EXPECTED TO EXCHANGE IT.
jm (Mm
Cn.tnmA. f mi ,. . i . t - Kitw an iimhrAlla
rion 1 V ,.B nmtkitl fttr khnitt Am 4 nl 1 a r. ?
Customer No; something about one dollar. I'm going to a party.
Sto-vUg the Mnalo.
"Yes," said young Mrs. Torklns,
'Charley used to come and serensde
ne for hours every night. So at last 1
narried him." "Dear me!" rejoined
diss Cayenne, "did he sing so badly
alt that?" Washington Btar.
Ooae Again.
'Where arc you going, my pretty
maid?" . .
I'm going milking, sir," she said.
'May I go long?" hs asksd of her,
Chora's on calf there already, sir."
FUNNVGHAPHS.
Guest Whs t a splendid dinner! 1
don't often get as good a meal as this.
Little Willie (son of tbe host) We
don't cither.
The camel can go two weeks with
out taking a drink, but It would make
some men bump themselves to abstain
for two days.
Kind Lady Why are you crying,
little boy? Little Boy Cos maw jls
made a examplo out o' me fer my
llttla brother's take
Information Wanton.
Miss Cltybred-Whst are those quest
looking animals? Parmer Hayrli
They are the cows that supply us wltt
milk and cream. Miss City bred Oh
are they? And where are tbs cows thai
give the beef tea? Chicago News.
No Srnipntnotis,
Seldum Pedd Honestly, boas,
don't know where me nest meal Is
comln' from, Cltlseo (gruffly)
Nelther dn If li la o.r.i.i
Ing from me!