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About Harrison press-journal. (Harrison, Nebraska) 1899-1905 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 29, 1901)
Mm.. ( 7 -''lMWiWr . - aWh.5l a piec ftc f SXm . . - ' 'mr "i . The Hunter De feller dat lent me 1 guess she does all right, 'cause dere ujnjnj-uTTj-u-u-uTj-LTijfru - ON THE STREET. "Now. if I had a million dollars," be gan the Wall street ghost, "you know " "Come "down out of the clouds," snarled an unwilling listener to the air castle builder. "What would you do If " you had a quarter?" ' "Go and get a drink." "Here's the cash, then; drop romance and try reality." New York Times. THOUOHTLE8H WOM AX. Mr. Krusty Well, it's too late now. Why didn't you come to my office when you were down town to-day and tell me ail this? Mrs. Krusty Why, I didn't think to atop at your office. " Mr. Krusty That's Just like you. If you'd only stop to think occasionally perhaps you would have thought to top. Philadelphia Times. AT THE The Lion What's the matter with the sebra? The Wildcat He's sore because someone said he looked like a convict HOW IT HArrESiED. "Our lecturer," said the advance - agent to the theatrical manager, "is . an able, conservative thinker of the day, and the subject upon whieh he talks is a new one In the world of let ters." "Good; I'll take him. What's his mibjeetr "In the Field with the Boer Army." A few minutes later there was a call for the ambulance, and, as they gath ered ap the remains of the advance agent, the managed sighed. Denver - : Times."" A TOUCHIXO APPEAL. "Hey, you feller, get off' 'this train!" shout the angry conductor at the.Wboes. .;. .. ,1Tr, certainly, boas but, say, did ysu ever live in a boardln' house?" "Yea. an' what of Itr "Nothln', ceptin' yon might please the beets." Denver Times. WATER AT A DWCWSfT. . "la It not beautiful to see the noon ahlae across the water?" Inquired the . romantic young woman. "Well, miss." answered Col. SUIlwell, "nsooaahln Is very acceptable In an saaergsary. But I don't know as I ' especially care about the water." ' Washington Star. AGAINST VIVMECTIOH. Mr. Wood wed: "Tour papa la such Jofesr." KtaWCSta: "Wajrr s. aata lor your hand he refused km. ajrtel fee) iMat want any mutilated r-arrWs kt Ma rnaallv " Rr itrsafctv hi Ms family.' -doscob post. v f A Pictorial BgiiBBor Time u mrr dis gun said she'd shoot good an' bard. wuz Ave boids in de flock I Just shot at. - - - - - - - - - - - -- -- -- -- - -- -- -- -- -- WORLD WITK8UT Little Dorothy Mamma, why do they sing in church "World without men ah me"? m. A CASE OF SELF Mrs. Jenks I don't think much of this reference. Maggie (apologetically) Snre, mum, an' Ol do write a poor band, mum! HI rOEWlXA. "Do yon think the three R's are all a man needs In dis life?" asked Plod ding Per. "What's de three R's?" asked Meandering Mike. "Why, readln, 'ritln', and 'rtthme Uc." "No; dey don't count. What a man wants to look out for Is de three B's bed, board, as' booze." Washing ton Star. Why can a man never starve In the desert?" "Because be can eat the sand which Is there.' "But what brought the sandwiches there?" "Noah seat Ham, and bis descendants mastered and bred." ------- a rct n en icr. I AN AFFBBCLATIYB r AT BOX. "tid you annoy my predecessor on the bench as much you have an noyed me?" inquired the Judge of the frequent offender. "No. Judge," said toe tough one. "I always thought so much of you that Just as soon as I heard you was elect ed I made up my mind to give you all my legal business and I've done it" Cleveland Plain Dealer. BAID LIXM. Dm miser "It U pretty hard to get a drink in this town. Isn't It?" Landlord (Kansas hotel) "You bet! Wby, you can't even work the snake bite racket any more unless you carry the snake to the drug store and let him bite you In the presence of a com mittee!" Puck. Miss Keys "Are you fond of music?"- Mr. Chump "Very- Won't you play something?" (And there she had been banging all sorts of classical se lections out of the piano for the last half hour.) -- ERD AH HEI. CABKLESS MAN. "BJingle Is about the most careless fellow I have ever known." "What's he done now?" "Why, he passed the butcher's down the street whistling, O Where Has My Little Dog Gone?' and a sausage jumped from the hook and followed him home." "Was careless, wasn't It?" "Yes, but that's not the worst of it Half an hour later he was arrested on a warrant charging him with kidnaping the sausage." Denver Times. THE KINMIMi Bill. "What was that?" asked the old gentleman, suddenly appearing in ths doorway. "I I guess It was a kissing bug." she answered hesitatingly, while the young man tried hU best to look at ease. The old gentleman looked at them both sharply. "Does the kissing bug make people blush?" he demanded. Chicago Post COIYICTIOR. I SILAS BCT DrPFEBEHT. "? "." Tom "Have a smoke, old man?" Jack "Thanks. Don't care If I da Tom "You'll find that Is something like a cigar." ' Jack (after a few puffs) "By George, there is a slight resemblance. What is itr "Where's your master?" inquired the wife of the rich city contractor. "Busy in the library," was the butler's reply, "Then go wake him up. Some body wants to see him." "How do you tike her fatberf "Don't Use him at all. He turned out a rascal." (But he forgot to specify ha was the rascal he turned out) - inr - i - M - ii - Lnri - rvvvvinj"ij'trijTj W i-VU Otir WlldCSt Account of the Seri 5 5 Tribe by pro,eMor Mcce Physically, the Serl are cast In heroic mold. The mean adult stature la feet for malM arul R fmmt t4 lneha for females, L e., with the possible ex ception of one or two Patagonlan peo ple, the Serl are the tallest aborigines of America. Both sexes are notable for robustltude of chest and slender ness of limb, though the extremities are large. The great chests and buge haunches of the Seri bear witness to their own naive descriptions of the chase, in which three or Ave striplings partly surround and partly run down Jack rabbits, and Ave hunters habitu ally capture deer In similar fashion; aad these recitals are corroborated in turn by dosens of vaqueros who have seen small bands spring on the with ers of full-grown horses, break their necks by Jaguar-like twists, rend them Into quarters with teeth and nails, and then shoulder these and flee over the and wastes so swiftly as to escape pursuing horsemen. The Serl inhabit a region of hunters, yet they are so far the fleetest of all and so distinguished by a peculiar "collected" or up-step-plng gait (like that of a thoroughbred racer or prowling coyotte) as to have gained their tribal sobriquet they are "spry" par excellence, even among the light-footed Tarahumarl and Otoml and Papago. In their own view, the glory of the Serl tribe is in their hair; it is black and luxuriant, and Is worn long by both sexes, who brush and cultivate it with tireless assiduity; it is not merely admired, but revered nearly or quite unto worship and In terwoven with a faith in a Samsonlan cult which throws light on many ob scure customs of various peoples In the several stages of culture. The tresses are treasured as symbols of vigor and of fecundity; the combings are kept scrupulously smoothed and twisted into slender strands, wound on skew ers and eventuafly worked into neck laces and belts; Indeed, the' locks symbolise shield as well as strength, even to the engendering of Ideas of ap pareling along those lines of associa tive and emblematic development by which the! primitive mind is swayed. The chief occupations of the Serl are food getting and fighting. Their fore most food source Is the green turtle, which Is taken by means of a light-lip-head harpoon, broken up with cob blestones, and promptly gorged from entrails to flipper bones and sinew and even to plastron if the family is large and the chelonlan smalL Pell cans and other water fowl yield quotas of food, as do all manner of fish and shellfish; and during the season of cac tus fruits the younger folk and even the elders fatten Inordinately on tunas Immense quantities of arsenic are consumed by the peasants of Styria and the Tyrol. An Austrian doctor who examined into this matter found that arsenic was kept in most of the houses In upper Styria under the name of "hydrach," evidently a corruption of "buttenrauch," or furnace smoke. Ar senic is principally eaten by hunters and woodcutters, with the object of warding off fatigue and improving their staying powers. Owing to the fact that the sale of arsenic is Illegal in Austria without a doctor's certificate it Is difficult to obtain definite Informa tion of a habit which is kept as secret as possible. According to a Dr. Lo renzo, In that district the arsenic is taken fasting, usually In a cup of cof fee, the first dose being minute, but Increased day by day, until It some times amounts to the enormous dose of 12 or 15 grains. He found that the arsenic eaters were usually long-lived, though liable to sudden death. They bare a very fresh, youthful appearance and are seldom attacked by infectious dUeases. After the first dose the usual symp Arsenic I Eotters j ssssssssssssssseessessesssessssssessessssesseeesssess s JH INCREASING essssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssesssssssst Ths pension list la larger by 2.000 names than It was a year ago In spite of the death losses, and the appropria tion of $145,000,000 for pension pay ments during the year will fall abort of the amount needed to meet all de- nands by at least 1160,000, saya Les lie's Weekly. But the most significant thing is that 43,874 claims bave been filed at the department on account of the war with Spain. These figures seem almost Incredible when It la re membered that Ute war actually lasted only thirty days, aad that the Dumber of men engaged la hostile actio on land and sea was only a tew thou sand. It doss not follow, of course, that all ths claims filed will be grant ed, and probably a large pro port loa or them will tail tor good and tufficisnt rsasona. During ths eleven months ending Juas K, tMt pensions were granted to invalids coming out of the war, and to 1,14 Isanloh war widows aad orphans. Bat ths saormotu num ber of dalsas (led show as inclination os ths part of tas psrsoss who garrsd thsrr assmtry la that war period not ahscsOsr pleasiag to eoatsarplats. It fcMfcs Tory mash as taoaga yatrwdsai was aot aa Urrlag motira la easy eases as kmA aa a assirs to c ft and their seeds the latter eaten twice In ancient Californlan fashion. The miirh-fnMtd onaatinn of cannibalism must be left open; the affirmative is favored by the blood craze of battle and presumption that It ends like the chase It mimics In gluttonous gorging of raw flesh, and also by other anal ogles; but the negative may rest pro- vlslonslly on the dearth of direct evi dence and the consistent denials en' tered by the tribesmen themselves. Throughout Seriland as Implied, in deed, by the proper designation "our-great-mother-folk-here' the matron holds higher rank than even the doughtiest warrior. The tribal law is founded on faith and expressed in terms of kinship and relative age, the kinship Is traced only In the maternal line In fact, It Is questionable wheth er paternity is recognised the female has no word for father, and the term used by the male to denote his sire seems of doubtful meaning, and there are no old men in the tribe. So the matron la priestess, lawgiver and Judge, while her brothers in order of age are the appellate executives, and her spouse merely a perpetual guest from another clan without voice In do mestic matters, save perchance In so- cU! tumults attending war. The worn an ! the prepotent factor in tribal ex istence. she is the shaman who brews tfc'j magic arrow poison, the wlsi one who casts protecting charms over out going warriors and lays spells on enemies, she is the shaper of the life preserving olla, the maker of ths nacre! halrcorn, she Is the lady of the feast, sharing the portions and keep ing alive the distributive tabus by which the rights of the weak are pro tected; she is the blood carrier and the facemark bearer of the clan; and at death she Is burled with ceremony and mourned long and loud as a lli;k in the tribai lineage, while her war rior spouse rots where he falls. Noah's Ark Not tho Pint Ship. Noah's ark Is generally supposed to be the earliest ship of which we have records, but there exists paintings of Egyptian vessels Immensely older than the date 2840 B. C, usually assigned to the ark, being. Indeed, probably be tween 70 and 80 centuries old. More over, there are now in existence, in Egypt, boats which were built about the period the ark was constructed. These are, however, small craft, about 32 feet long, seven feet or eight feet wide and two and a half feet to three feet deep. They were discovered six years ago by the eminent French Egyptologist, M. J. De Morgan, In brick vaults near Cairo. Austrian Peasants Vao It So Froely It Preserves Thslr Deevd Bodies toms of slight arsenic poisoning are evident, but these soon disappear on continuing the treatment. In the arsenic factories in Salzberg It is stated that workingmen who are noi arsenic caters soon succumb to the fumes. The manager of one of these works says that he had been medically advised to eat arsenic before taking up h s position. He considered that no one should begin the practice before 12 years old nor after 30, and that in any case after 50 years of age the dally dose should be gradually reduced,since otnerwise sudden death would ensue. If a confirmed arsenic eater suddenly attempts to do altogether without the drug be Immediately succumbs to the effects of arsenic poisoning. The only way to obviate this is gradually to ac climatize the system by reducing the dose from day to day. As another evi dence of the cumulative properties of arsenic It Is Interesting to note that when the graveyards In upper Styria are opened the bodies of the arsenic eaters can be distinguished by their al most perfect state of preservation, due to ths gradually accumulated arsenic. PEHSIOfi IISL chance for a steady pull at the cash drawer of Uncle Sam. Paer Mae PrUad. The pipe is the poor man's friend, and it Is low down and contemptible for fellows la comfortable circumstan ces to make play of It Puffing at a pipe la neither a fashionable nor aa agreeable diversion. Cynics, hypo chondriacs, dlssppqiateea, cranks, pes simists and lunatics smoke pipes be cause they like to be stared at. Phil osophers past ths age of M amoks pipes because their contents are seda tive. Bat take tbsm all-la-all pipes ars filthy nuisances. You can easily detect pips smoker by ths skin of hla teeth, green-brown with nicotine lodged there, aad by hla ' personal smell to heaven. But, after all. what la mors calculated to amuse than a good old Irishman Widi hla dadeen? Let me quote: "It Is aot the dsaoead ante of the Mayflower, la short, who ars ths rspressntatlTt Asrlcsai of tas prsseat day; it ta the Kicks aad ths Pats, ths Haass aad tas wil hstau. rodoisat still of ths daises aad ths aoasrkraat harrsL" Orsat Scott! Maw Tor The BUS Mat lata. Ths municipal council of ths llttk) French town of Court eull Is dlssuastaf aa ordinance forbidding ths wearlag' of tall silk bats wltbla Its borders. The "stovepipe" Is condemned la tas argument of the advocates of ths ordi nance as s "ridiculous headgear" which) by reason of lis costliness constitutes a badge of social superiority, sad la. thMwfnra. humiliatinc to tbOSS who never wear it The tall bat, reformers declare, "is used only by anisocrais who live snd grow fat on the sweat of ths poor." A Oatarj'a Orawta IltaatrateS. Only 100 years ago ths other day the Thames, saw a curious little scene which the newspapers reported aa fol lows: "An experiment took place oa tbs river Thames for ths purpose of working a barge or any other heavy craft against the tide by mesas of a . steam engine of a very simple con struction. The moment the saalaa was set to work the barge was brought about, answering her helm quickly, and she made her way against a strong current at the rats of two muss and a half an hour." Most of us would rather watch others than work ourselves. A man does not possess what ha baa but what he Is. Time Is like a verb that can only bs f use in the' present tense. SITS rmiw tT nm aoeaiori n i tnrt iter a in of Or. UUmrn m UfMl Kro IWna. Sna for PRKB St.OO trial tertii o4 wua IB. K. B. IlM. Ud.. Ml Alt SC. llaBaW. a The best praise of the sermon Is Its practice. Lame back makes a young man feel old. Wizard Oil makes sn old man feel young. See your druggist. Boiling anger scalds nobody's fingers but our own. t am ton Plao's Core for Coamnptlaa saved mj life three rears at. Mr. Tho. ItoUIH, tuple Street, Norwich. K Y., tk IT, US. There are 11,700 hotels in Paris. CBEATLT BEOCCBD BATES vta - - WAHASH It. at. I1J.0O Buffalo and return 813.00. 831.00 New York and return 131.00 The Wabash from Chicago will sell tickets at the above rates dally. Aside from these rates, the Wabash mn through trains over Its own raits frcm Kansas City, St Louis and Chicago sad offer many special rates during the summer months, allowing stopovers at Niagara Palls and Buffalo. I Ask your nearest Ticket Agent or ta rt r ma Harry E. Moo res. General Agent Pass. Dept., Omaha, Neb., or C.i 8. Crane, O. P. st T. A., St Louis. M. i The best things will be but stuff to the man who only seeks the stuff. Ca tark Caaaot Be CSMS with LOCAL APPLICATIONS, at they oaoaot men the arat of lao dtxeaae. Catarrh la a blood or eonatltutlonal dUeaae. and in Order to cum It jou mut take Internal ranedle. Hail's ( at.jrrh Cum la taken internally, and acts directly on tho blood and mucous aurfaooa. Hall wum cure la not a Quack medlolaav : It wan proacrlbed by one of the boat phytic laa'1 in tnia country I or vearn. ana la a mniar oroaa acrlptioa. It U eompoHod of the beat tflwsa known. romDinea witn me oet Dlooa punnera, acting directly on the mucous turfaora. The perfect combination of tna two liurredleoM IS what nroduco nucta wonderful reaulta ta curia Catarrh. Snd for text! mon lata. frea. r. j, t HfcJiKY cu.. frops., loieo.0, u Sold by drucirlu. price fle. UaU'i Family Mils are the best, 4 HO at.n.O VIUKB UiV V. ail and opens that of glory. aklag Hhm Happy. Anything that contributes to ths happiness of the home Is a blessing to the human race. The thoughtful house wife, who understands her responsi bilities in the great problem of mak ing tbe home all that the word Implies Is ever on tbe look out for that which will lighten tbe burdens of the house hold without lessening the merits of the work done. That Is why nearly every well regulated household la us ing Defiance starch. It costs less and goes farthest Slxteen-oz package for 10c If your grocer hasu't got It clip this out and give It to him and ask him to send for it Made by Magnetic SUrcb Co., Omaha, Neb. Goodness may win gold but gold will never win goodness. Clear white clothe ant a ales that the boutrfikeeper ue lUsd Crow Ball Blue iMrg x os. package, a centa. Life's commonplaces fit us for Its un common places. S0ZC::3TitTEETa2Cw HartlPV'V't PriGfAflM BwMRavV Dfco.rMtxnBBowirs Bkaaflaa I Carat Msi afrstt mm: irk ana aofaall M,aaaS laanaiDt.C Btwva.sSB-wap, m jr. r7r:inffc;riD is - if f . I -mm- - a- .., eelf -