Image provided by: University of Nebraska-Lincoln Libraries, Lincoln, NE
About Harrison press-journal. (Harrison, Nebraska) 1899-1905 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 15, 1901)
Green were the leaves upon the tree
That saw me bend to her my knee
Green are my eye bow that I see
Her with some fellow constantly;
1 hear he aaya when asked of me:
Great Editor That new society re
ports wont do. He has not mastered
the first principles of modern journal-
Maaager Eh? What's the matter?
Groat Editor He says "handsomely
dressed" instead of "smartly gowned."
Hewitt Figures wont lie.
Jewett Thats what I tell the people
I meet in business, but they won't be
Hewitt What Is your business?
Jewett I'm collector for a gas com
pany. . "Would you be. kind enough to re
turn my photograph?" she wrote, "t
gave it to you in a moment of girlish
folly, and I have since, had occasion to
regret that I was so thoughtless in
such matters." Of course, she pictured
that photograph framed and hung up
to his room, and was inclined to think
that he would part with it with deep
regret Just why she wanted it return
ad ie immaterial.
Of course, he had offended her in
ansa wav. but it is naimrMurv tn in.
ajoire how. The reply to her note cam I
the following day:
"I regret." H read, "that I am unable
t this late date to pick out your pho
tograph. Ho waver, I send you my en
tire collection, numbering over 600.
and would request that you return all
except your own by express messenger
at my expense." Tit-Bits.
tke tks::ei xm.
fx. TyTm Mr. Worm. He has
; l . ClMCrvtT-wkat'a tha santter?
- L. rSrChy. aosaeoto trod an mm
: ;.Ttte that ho eonlda't tarn.
1 rl-Tw. tow assay waska
.w. . :. T.- '
Xa tw gcasr wseta
' r?-. fctra' la
Old Skynnint How much will you charge to take me home in your
Cabby Twenty-five cents, sir.
Old Skynfiynt Humph! It's an outrage to think that I can only save
such a paltry sum by walking.
violated all the traditions.
sad he was m crippled up with
- rnj-Liv-uxjuuTArLanririi-! -
. . .' 9Je CMUtst Umm Ibeta.
Mrs. Naggs "I uadersUad row bne
bamd Is waahte to seat his creditor."
klr. Wao "Doa't ywheitert It
Ho aaa asd does ssast them -rack of
taaar thaa ha earss to."
TiaJr tiwrt ttaa faU tmU
teirra how trjV err;
tjx ttm Prm
n Ma nana ai
Mr. Manhattan "The Pan- Amerinaa
postage-stamps are rather artistic,
don't you think?"
Mr. Isolate (of I.oaelyville) "So I
bear. Ton see. our postmaster bonght
$10 worth of the ordinary -tamps about
Christmas time, and we have got to
use then up before we can expect to
hare any of the new ones on aale in
Myer "Blfkina writes me that he
sustained a broken leg in a railway
accident one day last week "
Geyer "Well, that U certainly con
siderate on the part of Bifkins."
Myer "How s that?"
Gyer "The leg helped to sustain
him before it was broken, therefore, H
is no more than right that he should
sustain it now."
In the year 1871. when the govern
ment of Monsieur Thiers was at Ver
sailles, and before the national assem
bly had decided whether the new con
stitution of France was to be mon
archical or republican, the late Comte
de Paris visited the palace at Ver
Just as he was about to enter M.
Jules Simon met and recognized him.
Bowing low. Monsieur Simon said with
'If we are a republic, count, you
are in my house, and I shall be de
lighted to do the honors; but if we are
a monarchy, then I am in your houw,
and cannot play the host." -
The Comte de Paris laughed and
took M. Simon's arm. .
"Ah, monsieur." he said gayly, "let
us go in together!"
A Ularary Wata. hlln-
"Vour majesty," said tbe'lias been
iter. "this is the p' '
remiss in nis QMed the King, "we'll
"Ahal'-vng him to book."
ha," he!" laughed the page. "t
noble Jest. I'll be bound."
Thereupon the King's heart soft
ened. for he marveled that a man so
young could make so old a Joke.
fcaeli WsS Afalaat Htaa.
Pat "Arrah, now, but railways are
a moighty folne invlntlon. anyway."
Friend I shouldn't have thought
you could see much to admire In them,
Pat. seeing that you lost your leg in
a railway accident"
Pat I'Falth, an' didn't Of get 200
damages? Begorra, If it had only been
my head Ol d have owned the lolne
Dundee (Scotland) News.
"Womep are curious creatures,
marked glopay; "always asking
"What's the matter now?" queried
the party of the second part.
"Well, there's my landlady, for ex
ample." replied Hlopay. "She's contin
ually asking me when I Intend to
"When a man baa a million,
millionaire Arthur Bait, of London,
"he Is la a poaltloa to toll any om
to go to the devlL"
- i -n-Lnj-LT.i-Ln.i.Tuu-
"Yes. your honor." explained tha
prisoner, "I did hit him, but it wasn't
"Whose fault was It, tb.r
; "It was the fault of the thraKme
tr, yoar homor. what to dM to bm
wM have ton a joto at aay ottor
UflM, tot yoa kaow tow It to wtoa
C thsTsasMotor roach as lt$."
''Rattorcai." said tto YmKim, wto
tod itn acalMt medml joton a g
tot Atf Mswca
'BOARD OP QRCCN CLOTH."
haM M4 Oaaxt
lu England all tha members of the
royal household and the officials of
the royal court, no matter what ibtlr
degree, an tnbject ha a special tri
bunal, hnown as the board of green
cloth, which has likewise exclusive
Jurisdiction In the case of all offenses
committed within the precincts of tke
royal palaces and the gardens, grounds
and parks connected therewith. The
board of green cloth, composed of sev
eral high dignitaries of the household,
is presided over by the lord steward
of the household, who has the power
to delegate to any judge or magistrate
his authority to deal, In the name of
the board, with offenses that would
legally come before the latter. It is
as the representatives of the board ol
green cloth, and as our deputy of the
lord steward, that the senior police
magistrate of the metropolis holds
court in a room underneath the grand
stand at Ascot during the Ascot race
meet each year, the Ascot racecourse
forming a part of the royal domain of
Windsor. Besides the board of green
cloth there Is the House of Lords,
which is called upon to serve as a tri
bunal In a number of specific cases.
Strictly speaking, there are two sep
arate tribunals known as the Houses
of Lords. There is, for instance, the
tribunal to which cases may be carried
on appeal from the Supreme court,
and which Is composed of what are
knos-n as the law lords, that is to say,
of peers who have occupied seats on
the bench, or who are still regular
members of the high court of Judica
ture. But no lay or spiritual peers
have anything to do with this tribunal,
which has Jurisdiction only in the
United Kingdom, the Judicial commit
tee or the privy council serving as
court of final appeal for the British
empire. Ex-Attache in New York
COLD DRINKS INJURIOUS.
Lew Taaaparstara ar Drtaka Caaaea KM
ay Dtaeasa. Bay Daalora.
Americans drink far too much ol
cold beverages and consume too much
frocen condiments, says physicians,
And beauty doctors aver that woman
will never have a lovely complexion
while she looks into the soda water
glass when It froths or lingers too long
at the Ice-water cooler. The low tem
perature, say doctors, at which water
and l'auors are so largely consumed
undoubtedly had as much, if not more,
to do with disease of the kidneys than
any other single cause. A writer In s
hygienic contemporary calls attention
to the fact that It is a great mistake
to imagine that cold drinks are neces
sary to relieve thirst He says: "Very
cold drinks, as a rule, Increase the fev
erish condition of the mouth and stom
ach, and so create thirst Experience
shows It to be a fact that hot drinks
relieve the thirst and cool off the body
when it Is in an abnormally heated
condition better than Ice-cold drinks.
It Is far better and safer to avoid the
use of drinks below sixty degrees. In
fact, a higher temperature is to be
preferred, and those who are much
troubled with thirst will do well to try
the advantages to be derived from hot
drinks, to which they have been accus
tomed. Hot drinks also have the ad
vantage of aiding digestion instead of
causing debility of the stomach and
rtiiaiaa Hau toe way of mas
ine cooiesi iniren in these parts
culine headans Is the Filipino hat.
la man are the most recent of the
Tboru from our new possessions.
The head is made of what closely re
sembles the cane used In chair seats,
but is mucn .Ighter in weight. The
material Is closely plaited and the hat
looks like a cross between a chopping
howl and a Soudan helmet, without
the helmet's front piece.
The hat is so constructed that the
headgear proper does not touch the
head at alL It Is lined with a light
fabric, sea green In color, and to the
crown is attached a steel band cov
ered with oiled silk, which band rests
upon the head and supports the hat
The result Is that the hat proper ex
tends some Inches beyond the fore
head and beyond the back of the head,
so that all the air there Is stirring may
have full play at one's cranium. At
the back the hat tapers off like a fire
Mw nail Into raaaasgafa.
Tto vast difference between the mall
service and the passenger la well Illus
trated by the following fact: One of
the Pacific railroads hauls a combina
tion train, null aad passenger, over
tto mountains. When tbe level coun
try reached the mail cars are cut off
and seat oa ahead. A passenger leav
ing tto coast auy nail a letter ia one
of thsaa ears oa his owa train, and by
tto time to has reached Cklcago to
will and that tto lettar has already
gone through tto Chicago sostoflke,
been aeiirwrasl aad Is watstag far hist
at Ma toteL-Otartosrs tlaaaataa.
Tto Dactoss of Cornwall is b!
vttk a Users! aasortaant of ChrtoUaa
aaaaaa, EtoaM she eveataally share
tto British throne she aaa select from
ttoao; AHfMtias, Lnalae, Otga, Faal-
fa thirty can raatMljr tto gifts to
oSasaa, art ataaaaaa aad libraries la
tto Utsa ata aaaaaaaa IXjtajm.
Tto roar Kl troches a total of over
tUSt la lao twaettoaa ft)
.he United States, how many people
could be supported: and how many
more People cculd be prtsrided for
an increase in invention?" It Is not
possible to say how much land would
be required to support a single Indi
vidual anywhere. The census of the
United gtateg for 1900 shows in New
York state 152 persons to a square
mile, or about one to four acres; in
Massachusetts there are about 348 to
a square mile, or about one to two
M?!a. - !b Ohio 10! o a ("SMsr wile;
and so on down to Nevada, which
has two square miles for every In
habitantor over 1,200 acres for each
man, woman and child in the state.
In the whole United Htates there are
22 inhabitants to a square mile, or
over 30 acres to each. The New York
avwape, covering the whole country,
would raise this number about seven
times that is, would establish a pop
ulation of about Cfffl.OOO.OOO. This
would Include New York city. The
Ohio average would probably be a fair
one; and that would raise the popula
tion of the United States to about 400,
000,000. It does not seem to be an un
warranted assumption that the United
States can, by proper attention to In
tensive, or scientific farming of the
soil, and by conformity to such laws
as sustain equability of temperature
and .moisture, reach a population of
from 400.000,000 to 500,000,000. China
remains an object lesson to demon
strate an increase quite beyond these
figures. Under the best existing con
ditions in the United States, two acres
are required for each individual; ten
acres for the family of five. In China
we h.Ve found that under best condi
tions two people can subsist -to the
acre. SViil a wiser conservatism of
nature's forces jnot slowly increase our
chancrj, until, with vastly greater
knowle0-e of the earth's resources
than our Turanian neighbors, and
multifold easier scceas to them, we
shall be able to sustain a population
even 1'irger to the acre, or mile, than
they are now doing? Among the more
civilised races there Is a constantly de
creasing ratio of lands to families. At
present the United States, especially
the eastern states, furnish a fine lllus-
B Electrical Enterprise.
One of the great electrical enter
prises of the nineteenth century Is
nearing Its completion. Seven years
have been spent at this business. Three
thousand miles of wire are in position,
and 1.200 more will be necessary to
carry the line to its terminus In the
land of the Pharaohs. This will cover
the entire length of Africa. The cost
of the line as so far completed has
been $5,000,000, and its completion will.
add $1,000,000 more to the total. TT
work done has been under, almoe
palling difficulties. Swamps b',;MMi
bridged, mountain cnasr,, Dirba
fioods waded, the 110' poDt 0f
rian faced frequence, of an alnl0flt
death, and tha,fe endured. The ant
unbearable of ;ne poi. ,nd mogt
maS material used had to be carried
fifough primeval forests on the shoul
ders of aboriginals. The copper wire
was sometimes made Into bullets to
shoot down the white intruders, and
pilea of human bones have been left
to whiten in the sun, where the can
nibal or the beast of prey had gorged
on the remains. The cost aas been
heavy, but the results will In the long
run be the transformation of Africa,
as the railway will follow the tele
graph line, and the products of all na
tions find one of the great markets In
the future between tbe Cape of Good
Hope and the Egyptian end of the Nile,
As an engineering enterprise and as a
heroic effort to carry out a magnificent
Idea, there are but few chapters In
modern enterprise to tell a more thrill
ing or wonderful story.
III af rivlllBBtlaa.
The civilized man has softened his
feet, crushed his bones together and
diminished their efficiency by com-
All Are yanKjse floticn.
American products have forced their
way into every avenue of trade in
England and a tandon newspaper
mourns the fact In this fashion: "Tbe
average nun rises in tbe Morning from
his New England folding bed, shaves
with American soap and a Yankee
safety rator, pulls on his Boston boots
over his socks from North Carolina,
fastens his Connecticut braces, slips
his Walt ham or Waterbury watcb In
his pocket aad alts down to breakfast
There to congratulates bis wits oa tto
way tor Illinois strsigbt-front eorset
seta oft tor Massachusetts blouse aad
to tackles his breakfast, where to eats
bread made from prairie four, tinned
oysters from tto Pacific coast aad a
slloe of Kansas City bacon, while bis
wife plays with a slice of Chicago ox
tonga. Tto ehlldrea are given Assert
earn aatav At tto same time to reads
aaoraiag paper printed by' Ameri
can ssacblnai aad possibly oa Amerl
aaa paper. He rashes oat. catches aa
atettrte tram (New York) to Ihep
torn'a Bush, where be gets la a
Taakas elevator to take hiss oa to tto
Ansrl can-fitted electric rtilwsy to the
dtr. At loach ttea to hastily iwal-
Mate eota ranat boat that eotus
a cow ta Iowa, mU Cavora It
Ka tto lataat Kw Cstaa4 ateklaa,
tvwa via a taw rtortts Utaed
tion of the
i tnilM nf thla law nt eivtlisattsssw. JaV .
tensive farming is displacing extensive
farming, and that means that, by Im
proved methods at culture, a family
may get better crops and larger profits
from ten acres than from one hundred
acres by the older and less scientific
culture. Not only Is population in
creasing In this wsy, but the comforts
are multiplying. Soiling has taken
the place of pasturing, and the growth
of mixed crops has supplanted the cul
tivation of one or two crops on a large
pl Tb advantages are keeping
the land at its best, and decreasing
waste. With intenser culture, and
"brains, we believe a family of five can
get a good living from five acres; or
about 130 families from a square mile.
This, of course. Is not up to the Chi
nese standard; for at the best few
American farmers fail to waste a good
deal in manures, in harvesting, and In
storage; while the standard of living
requires .larger income. A family of
five requires In the United States for
food, for clothing, for comforts, for
repairs of vehicles and toots, and
wages of help, not lewi than 11,000. If
you wish to get at the requirements
of a single Individual yon will find
that he must be taken strictly as a
factor In a family. Following the
above line of argument, we find that
the state of New York, with 30.000.000
acres, can support 6,000,000 families,
including 30,000,000 Individuals, dis
tributed over the whole area. The
United States with 1,800,000,000 acres,
can sustain by the same estimate
1,800,000,000 Individuals, or 360,000,000
families. But this not taking into our
reckoning arid lands, mining lands,
irreclaimable swamps, very rocky or
mountainous land; lands robbed of fer
tility by bad tilth; and sections too
rough or otherwise unfit for homes:
We shall probably not go far astray
if we reckon under these one-fourth of
the whole land; although more con
servative estimates are 600.000,000, or
one-third. If this be so, we once
more come to the conviction that the
possible population of the United
Stetes Is, under present conditions.
450,000,000 of individuals, or 90,000,000
of families. New York Indepen
dent. pressing them in tight, hot sboe,
weakened his ankles by Platner "tight
them bandages of thick 'eBOlg, tJ
ly drawn with laces aho5nullle
hang him. We owj MkUm Qur Jn.
therefore, our rCorn(I and boI1,ojn,
grown toeani an(J plaJ)terl, Tbe
our bi,l."a" nothing of these things.
ava? e the b(SrlUre 0f civilization.
Jf&r as athletic sports are concerned.
1 t-ontesta of strength and endurance, the
civilised athlete Is the equal, perhaps
the superior, of the savage, but this is
not due to his civilisation, but to the
fact that, In a sense, he combines tbe
best and most healthful feature of
both savage and civilised life. St.
Balartas af Scbaal Taarhaar
In making special inducements In
the wsy of salary to the school teach
ers in the islands which have come in
to our possession this government Is
managing to call attention to the very
poor pay that our school teachers re
ceive at home, and it is not surprising
to know that a protest is forming all
over the country. Several of our rep
resentatives in Cuba and the Philip
pines declare that the salaries there
are too. high, but sui-h is really not
the case. Compared with the pay of
the political positions, they are ex
tremely moderate. They are only
high when compared with the pay the
school teachers receive In the United
States, and the opinion of the gentle
men are based largely on the fact that
the protest at home has Justice
The average girl will get down to
breakfast earlier if there Is no mirror
In her room.
peaches end then soothe his mind
with a couple of Virginia cigarettes.
To follow his course all day woald be
wearisome. Qut when evening comes
he seeks relaxation at the latest Ameri
can musical comedy and finishes up
with a couple of 'little liver pills'
'made In America.' "
teaaaees Tfcraafa garth-, uwt.
Messages may come through tbe vary
center of the globe as well as around
It. Tbe earth Is never stilL Treason
pulsations, rises, and falls af level are
always In progress. After a proiena1
lavestlgation of these pheaomena la
J spas Prof. John Milne aas esUb
llstod aa observatory at Newport, la
tha Isle of Wight. .
Maae aa Tea Cheeks.
It Is stated oa the authority of a
Chinese tea merchant that the glace
on tbe paper, coverings of tea cheats
la daa to a preparation composed prin
cipally m me recuse of sharks'
toils nad skins.
Aad old bachelor says tto friendship
rf'" W0"M " Iwsys a plot against
tars yon are right ttoa aauaa
aeat for raZartt,
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