Pictorial lfitiroor
SOMETHING WRONG.
Midair Apprhnalnn.
Pinching bug Say, it is silly for you
to wear your headlight on behind.
Lightning bug Not at all. I'm aw
fully nervous about rear-end collisions.
Vroal rietara la Jmlf.
Ia this hot office, at high noon, I close
my eye and see
Again upon the window pane deft win
ter's tracery.
Mrs. Jasper "Mrs. Subbuba is too
mean for anything."
Jasper "Why do you tay bo?"
"I hinted and hinted for a month
that she let us have her baby chair
which her boy has outgrown and aba
didn't notice, but as soon as I went and
and bought one, she Bald: 'Why, you
might have had mine." "Life.
MolP of the
Soils
To Teach rarror What
II Ought to Plant.
. COMFESUO.f.
' Policy Agent Ise sorry, Ben, but yo 's lost ag'in. Seven wasn't in It.
Ben Easy Well, dat's funny. I dun dreamed dem on de seventh flo ob
sky-gcraphah de sebenth day at seben o'clock.
F1GCRAT1VFXY SPEAKING.
Mrs. Newlywed You told me ws would have to give up luxuries and only
allow ourselves necessities.
Mr. Newlywed That's right.
Mrs. Newlywed But you came homo in a hack last night, that was a luxury.
Mr. Newlywed Er er that was a necessity, my love.
SHE ItE-MEMBERKl,
Mias Teacher Now, boys, never put off until to-morrow what can be done
to-day; to-morrow never comes.
Little Bobby How did Fourth of Jul y get here, then?
CIRCCM8TAHCES ALTER CASES.
Mr. Pushway We seem to be old fri ends already. I've seen you before I
think.
Miss Cutting Yea, you saw me hang lng on a strap In a street tar lat
Thursday while you were sitting down.
Mrs. Newlywed Charles, dear, before you married me you never smoked In
any presence.
Mr. Newlywed I know it, darling, but you never wore curl papers in mine.
' ?i(li Tim (soliloqulxing) la he a farmer with a satchel full o' dough
ar a preacher from Umpvlll. wld a sate bel full o' tracts?
. Balda. aa Ksaaeaara,
The customer who had found the col
Ian oe kid bought the day before two
tlaes too small, and had returned them
, Ma1 asked for ail eschange, had gtrra
Cis mm aad address and obserred all
Oa farma! (ties, Including a walk from
' asi of the big store to the other,
rt fc was atni raWag.
"3," ha aaid, metteg at Us watch,
1 r ea Vst trathraa aad
Jttt ftsrtariaa Cini la leas
M taa at ca Cia."-CU-rut
Upgardson (after the visitor had
gone) "You call me down for being
uncivil to a stranger, do you? Why,
confound your hide, you Jackanapes!
I've forgotten more good manners than
yon ever knew!"
vAtfml'1 buT m hare, old
ehap."-Chlcago Tribune.
for futheoa Ml take wait a ml.
1st me.ee- ,
Mr. Skin I thought you were tick a nd wanted to go home?
Tim (noting the rain aad the post do ned ball game) I'll stay home to-morrow.
Instead.
AflttMra?.
Two horses met The one was a sorub
And the other a thoroughbred.
And the horse that wore the panama
hat
- Cat the horse with the chip hat dead.
"Boston ought to fcagf her saggars
at home, I think."
. "Whet do yaw mmV
Wtf, that toner asked tar U
rrlcblfal lamalty.
"Tou seem to bare a great' many
boys In your neighborhood," said the
reporter, who was out on a statistical
assignment "How many of them were
killed or fatally injured by toy pistols
on the fourth T"
1 am sorry to say," snapped Old
Hanks, "there wasn't one I"
Washington correspondence of the
Boston Herald: Uncle Sam is coin to
have a soil map that will be a wonder.
It will be something of a kind entirely
new, and will enable the fanner, wher
ever he Is located, to determine Just
what crops will bring him the largest
returns in money. Printed in colors. It
will convey information Id the clearest
and most easily comprehended manner
imaginable. The map is to cover the
whole of the United States, and will
be on such a scale that every ten-acre
path will be represented by one-eighth
of an Inch square. But each farmer
wiil be able to procure a chart of his
own neighborhood on a larger scale,
so that he can arrange his planting In
accordance with the suggestions which
It conveys. The work Is done by town
ships to start with, and these are put
together to make counties, which are
finally assembled to form complete
maps of states. Hitherto the business
of farming has been to some extent
guess work; the agriculturist formed
a surmise as to what crops were best
for him to try, and did this planting
accordingly. Henceforth he will study
the government map, and from it will
obtain advice, based on the highest
scientific knowledge, as to what will
be best for him to try to grow. Then
he will go ahead with a reasonable
certainty of satisfactory results. .
In the first plajip, the soil map will
show what klndof agricultural In
dustry any given locality is best adapt
ed for whether fruit raising, vege
table growing, dairying or general
farming. It will make clear to the
farmer in North Carolina, for instance,
that he has the same soil that is used
advantageously for certain purposes In
Georgia, and that, if climatic condi
tions are not unfavorable, the same
crops may be expected. A wonderful
strip of light sandy soil, not over four
or five miles wide, extends along the
Atlantic coast from Massachusetts to
Florida, with occasional interruptions,
bordering the ocean and its embay
ments 1. e., the rivers and bays. It is
a natural truck patch, adapted for the
production of early vegetables, which
ripen much sooner In that ribbon of
land than anywhere else In correspond
ing latitudes, owing to the nearness of
the sea. The nearer the water, the
earlier the planting may be done.
Along that strip In spring the climate
moves north at an average rate of 13
miles a day. The crops of vegetables
which It produces comes to market at
a corresponding rate. But backward
weather In the South and forward
weather In the ;Orth will disarrange
things sometimes, causing a ripening
of the same kinds of produce at the
same period In different latitudes of
the strip, and thus brisglng about a
glut disastrous to growers. Under or
dinary conditions, however, the pota
toes, tomatoes, peas and other garden
stuff, arrive first from Flor'a, then
from Georgia, next from the Carolinas
and so one. This interesting strip Is
conspicuously shown on the soil map,
owing to its great commercial Impor
tance. It has so lengthened the season
for fresh vegetables that now it may
be said that there is no longer any sea
son; such products are obtainable all
the year round. In southern Florida
there is a limited area below reacU of
frost where vegetables can be grown,
all winter, and the yield of this region
tides over the cold months, until the
spring season begins its march up the
coast It is the strip next to the beach,
a mile wide, that Is best for trucking
purposes, and these sandy lands, when
near to cities and with good transpor
tation available, are worth from $50
to $500 an acre, though only a few
years ago they were valued at 11 an
acre. As shown by the map, even along
the strip the soils vary, so as to bo
adapted to different kinds of truck, the
lightest and sandiest being best for
early peas, the medium suitable for to
matoes and the heaviest Just right for
growing cabbage. The map will call at
tention to certain troubles of soils,
which have been Investigated through
chemical analyses. One of these is
acidity, which has an Important influ
ence upon farming over large areas;
another is excess or deficiency of cer
tain elements of plant growth, which
can be supplied by fertilizers, and yet
another Is alkali. As for alkali,
science hag ascertained both the
source and the remedy. It comes usu
ally from wash from the mountains
from salts carried onto the land by ir
rigation, or from deposits laid down
at a period whpn the land was sea bot
tom. The remedy is to underdrain the
land and wash out the alkali, and to
prevent accumulation of seepage water
In the subsoil.
Giant Mexican Spider.
WBUag to WaltlUsnma "Yor-ll
be good ntU I some baek. wont roar
Uel-"Cna i be bag Ota. mamma r
A New York professor has Just re
turned home after spending the win
ter in exploring the mountains near
Buena Vista and Investigating the
habits of a species of monster spiders
found In the middle Cottonwood pass.
Little definite is known of these spi
ders, but around them has been gath
ered a mass of Indian legend and
prospectors' yarns that rival those of
Munchausen.
Many years ago these spiders lived
in a cave easily reached by tourists. It
was in a valley two miles northeast
from Harvard City, then a thriving
mining camp eight miles west of
Htiena Vista. In 1880 a man named
Sbultz cut his way into the spiders'
den. He did not return, and a week
later a searching party found his body
partly buried In the spiders' cave un
der a mass of fallen rock. As it would
have required timbering at an expense
of several hundred dollars to recover
the body, and as the man had no
known relatives it was left undis
turbed. The spiders have found an
other home farther back In the moun
tains. Some of the tales told about
these spiders are given In an old let
ter which has Just been found In
Buena Vista. It says:
"A short distance out of Buena Vis
ta there Is a cave swarming with spi
ders of Immense size, some of them
having legs four Inches In length and
bodies as large as that of a canary
bird. The cave was discovered in 1868,
and was often visited by pioneers on
their way to California, who obtained
their webs for use In the place of
thread. Early and late the cave re
sounds with a buzzing sound emitted
by the spiders as they weave their
webs. The webs were tested In 11 I
and found to be composed of silk of
the finest quality. The skins of the
spiders make good gloves, as they are
pliable and require no tanning.
"A number were captured and
tamed, and manifested great affec
tion for all members of the family.
They were far superior to a cat for
exterminating rats and mice, follow
ing their prey Into the holes In the
walls and ceilings. One spider, kept
as a pet by a Buena Visla lady, used
to stay all night at the head of her
bed, acting as sentinel."
risking Fnwrfcr HUrnlt.
Measure a quart of sifted flour Into
a mixing bowl, add to this four level
tcaspoonfuls of baking powder and a
teaspoonful of salt. Sift again; add to
flour two Ublespoonfuls of butter, and
rub In thoroughly with a spoon or
flexible knife; do not use the hands.
Moisten the flour with enough milk to
make a soft dough. Do not handle
much, but roll the dough out about aa
inch thick; cut Into small round bis
cuits, placed In greased biscuit tins
and bake in a quick oven for fifteen or
twenty minutes.
Eotllta Champion T Hrlakvra.
The British people consume nearly
six pounds of tea per head of the
population, or an Increase of one
pound per capita In sixteen years.
There Is no other country which, in
any way, approaches this. Holland is
the only country In Europe where the
consumption of tea exceeds one pound
per head. In Russia and In the United
States, which are the other two large
tea consumers, the consumption
amounts to under one pound per
head.
OETTVSBURG'5 HEROINE.
A monument to the memory of Jen
nie Wade, the brave Pennsylvania
girl who was killed at the battle of
Gettysburg, July 2, 183, will soon be
dedicated, the fund .for the same hav
ing been raised by the Woman's Re
lief Corps of Iowa. Jsnnle Wade was
one of the heroines of the civil war,
aa well known in her bumble way and
as loved as Barbara frletchie. 8he it
wss who was killed by a stray mlnle
bait of the Confederates while making
bread for the Union soldiers, right In
the stormiest and moat dangerous part
of the three days' battleground.
Jennie Wade was then only a young
girl, but her sacrifice will always be
remembered and perpetuated In the
history of that sublime struggle. The
first day of the battle the drew and
carried water from the windlass wall,
aad ailed too oaatotna of the Union
soldiers, amid the shrieking of shells
and the awfal din of the battle, foe
over swerved from her willing teak
by giving the cap oi cold water to those
brave asaa.
Early, area Mora it was llgkL oa
In wood to heat the brick oven to bake
bread for the soldlera, wearied with
tb two days of Titanic struggle.. Very
tM""e.WM caJI ' door for
mother, saying: r
r.M".,Kmak. btMCU,ta ,f Prepare
Si! . ,t0V' "a turned to go
about her new work with a will w
before .he had don. uJLNMS
enemy a mn rn.k.j . . "
,nA t,.. --- -" wrouga me door
and killed the brave girl la her ,lmvZ
bome. o the morning of July
waa buried th. ...- J . .m
arsa?--'Ji3i:
le Ucalalaa Mm4.
The largest lightning conductor la
tt. i world 1. In Bavarta. The Z
f" above the meteor?
togtcal station oa the ZagspltsTthl
highest aoiat of land lithe Oaraau
taair. it mat down the aUa of th
rnntala to a body of raaatag vauV
mi Cm at me ana.
to teet gst tig cantata
Oa CJSH day, aha waa astir, getting