AS IT SHOULD BS.
Ben and Ann the parson (ought
And oon were much elated;
For Bene-flted was the groom,
And the bride waa Anna-mated.
PRISCILLA MULL1NS
The sweetest love tale In American
history is that of Prisellla Mulllns the
Puritan maiden. Myles Standlsh, a
tern old soldier man, who had no fear
of the deadly peril of war, was afraid
to speak of his love to this slip of a
girl and trot John Alden to go and woo
her for him. The result was that she
advised John to speak for himself, and
John married her. This is the story
written for the St. Louts Post-Dispatch
by Prank H. Perkins of Plymouth, a
direct descendant of Prlscilla:
Plymouth in the year 1621 was not a
particularly desirable place of resi
dence. The savage, who abounded on
very hand, was picturesque, but un
pleasant as a neighbor. No man could
step around the corner to borrow a
mijg of strong drink for medicinal pur
poses without having his skin stuffed
with arrows. The red man had an un
comfortable habit of surprising you
when you least expected to be surpris
ed. Accordingly the white settlers
built their seven first dwellings close
together on the bank of Town brook,
and upon the hill, which Is now a hill
of graves, they constructed a building
of logs which served them both as a
fort and a meeting house. The church
militant waa a power in the land In
those days. There was no going to
sleep of a Sabbath under the soporific
Influence of a warm day and a dry
preacher. Erect at one end of the rude
bench sat the husbandman, one ear
taking in the eternal damnation of the
non-elect, the other alert for the
stealthy footfall of the dusky foe. The
situation was. to say the least, strain
d. Then it was thnt Myles Standi.-h came
to the fore. He was a Hunter by pro
fession, having been engaged In a num
ber of scraps on the other side of the
water. He was In reality the original
"Jingo" in America, He believed in
fighting first and explaining afterward.
When an Indian twanged his bowstring
or flourished his tomahawk, or indulged
In other like pleasantries, Captain
Blandish thought the most effective
repartee a charge of powder and lead.
It didn't take him long to recruit a
military company, of which he natur
ally became commander, and soon the
name of "Standlsh" struck terorr to the
heart of the enemy. 1
It is not at all to be wondered at
that the pilgrim captain should get
silphtly "stuck on himself." He had
downed almost everything he had tack
led. That he was a man of wonderful
prowess goes without saying, when we
remember that he wielded the huge
Damascus blade which today hang In
Pilgrim Hall. When he had this, and
about seven tons of brass and leather
in the way of breastplate and corselet,
attached to him he must have been In
deed an awe-Inspiring object. In the
eyes of the people Blandish waa cer
tainly all right.
Now It chanced that this warrior waa
a widower. His wife had not been
dead very long. It Is true, but It had
been long enough for Myles to miss
the wifely attention to buttons on his
doublet and the stiff, clear-starching of
his broad collars. He wanted a neip- I
mntH. and what mattered It wnemer
' months or years hod elapsed since Rose
StandlRh was laid at rest on the hill-1
side? So, In casting his eye about for j
a suitable person to fill Mrs. Standlsh's
place, his glance fell on one Prlscilla
Mulllns.
In a community where young women,
an particularly attractive young wo-
men, were scarce. Miss Prlscilla was
easily the belle. Not only waa she ex- i
tremely pretty, with that demure,
dronplng-of-the-laah sort of prettlness
that has captivated the sterner sex In
eveiy age, but she was a most capable
housekeeper as well. She could wash
and Iron, bake and brew, spin and
weave, and have time before supper to
lay out a golf link if golf links had
been fashionable irt I'riscllla's day..
Moreover, she had a good level head on
her shoulders, as events will show.
Myles Standlsh looked her over and
decided, "she'd do;" and Just because
other folks were given to admiration of
his valor and brass buttons he thought
all that was necessary was for him to
signify the desire, when the maiden ls interesting to watch the shops, es
would betfln to throw bouquets at him pecaiy in the public markets, to see
at once. That was mistake No. 1. Un- j tne avidity with which every article of
fortunately for the would-be suitor, j
however, he dared not face the woman ;
of his choice, brave as he was In the j
matter of "Injuns," and, contrary to
the advice he had previously given "If j
you wish a thing to be well done you
must do It yourself" ne conciuoeu io
leave his love making to a proxy. Mis
take No. 1 As luck would have It, he
elected as this proxy his friend and
secretary, John Alden. Mistake No, 3,
and the most fatal blunder of all.
For, be It known, this same John Al
den was himself In love with the fair
Prls-llla.
He and Standlsh were In the same
boat-both were afraid to step up to
the band stand. But John was one of
those fellows with fair, long hair and
languishing eyes, who can hold a girl's
hand for fifteen minutes and whisper a
few commonplace remarks and make
her think that every word Is the epi
tomised wisdom of the ages. John waa
not much of a fighter. But be waa a
good deal of a diplomat.
Well, Myles Blandish goes to blm and
talks to him something In this wise:
"John, me boy. I've made up my mind
that I want Prlscilla for my wife. Now,
you know I'm all right on war, but
whan It comet to afternoon to talk,
imm. I'm not Is row OlMS. Mow I
want you to go and propose to Prls
cilla for me; tell her what sort of a
man I am brave, and all that sort of
thing don't be afraid of laying It on
too thick!"
If John had been a real square chap
on this occasion he would have stood
up in his boots and said: "Old man, I
love that girl, too, and I'll be hanged
If I do your courting for you! Do your
own courtlng.and I'll do mine, and may
the best man win!" He didn't say It,
though. He hemmed and hawed, and
finally consented to undertake the Job.
John Alden found Prlscilla seated at
her spinning wheel, singing out of a
hymn book and looking just as if she
wasn't expecting company. And with
out the least tact he blurted out that
Myles Standlsh wanted to marry her!
No wonder, Myles, that you grew so
angry over the miscarriage of your
plans. Whether your friend was work
ing In his Interest or not, he did mis
manage things for you most awfully.
Prlscilla got on her high horse In a
moment. "If Captain Standlsh wanted
her he might have the politeness to
come and tell her himself!"
And then John went on, offering ex
cuses for the captain, telling her she
mustn't mind his hot temper and his
small stuture, and steadily making a
bad matter worse. Finally the maiden,
tired of this waste of words, looked up
archly and uttered the words that have
rung down through the centurles,"Why
don't you speak for yourself, John?"
Had John been half a man he would
have gathered her In then and there.
But he didn't; he rushed off somewhere
down by the water to "cool Is fevered
brow," and then he sought out Myles
Standlsh and told him of the iallure
of his mission, and just what Prlscilla
had said. And Myles grew hot under
his brass collar and said that John had
played him a low-down trick. He even
made threats against his person. Just
at this moment word was received of
an Indian uprising, and Standlsh, who
was nothing If not an Imperialist, start
ed at once on the warpath, refusing to
parley with the dusky emissary who
had brought the message and sending
back to the tribe of red men a saucy
answer of defiance. Standlsh was al
ways somewhat Impetuous, and In thla
matter he won in the first round, and
merely to show that he was no back
number as a warrior. If he had failed
as a lover, he cut off the head of the
chief, Watawamet, and Bent It to Ply
mouth, where it was exhibited on a
pole. Prlscilla didn't fancy It. She
thought It in bad taste which It cer
tainly was.
After all, It was Prlscilla who did
the wooing. She sought out John Alden,
and found him, as usual, mooning by
the waterside. She explained matters
so sensibly that John, after a time,
saw the case exactly as she did. It
was not long before their wedding took
place. Mr. Longfellow has It that the
bridegroom conveyed his bride home
on a "snow white steer." As cattle were
not Imported into the colony until soma
time later it looks as If there must be
a discrepancy somewhere. The state
ment Is probably one of those poetic li
censes that are allowed in the no-li-cense
towns of New England. Mr.
Longfellow was giving us a steer.
Again, the poetic version says that
Myles Standlsh forgave the couple on
their wedldng day. In the folk-lore of
the settlement the forgiveness did not
1 come until a later day. John Alden
and nl wlfe moved t(J Duj,bury( where
they reared a numer0UB faroiiy. Myles
Standlsh found him a wife, presumably
suited to him, and they too moved to
Duxbury and saw the olive plants
grow up around their table. It Is likely
that Prlscilla made more of a man of
John than he ever would have been
without her; and It Is also likely that
Mrs. Standlsh did much to soften the
character of her warlike spouse.
It chanced in time that the children
of these two marriages should them'
selves wed, and when Alexander Stand
ish led Sarah Alden to the altar the
feud between the two families was dead
forever. From this marriage, In the
sixth generation, comes the writer, and
of course he knows the tales be has
told to be strictly true.
CARNIVAL TIME IN RUSSIA
Shopping, shoplpng, shopping, goes
on without Intermission, says Good
Words. Those who can prepare to
adorn their bodies with one or more
articles of new clothing, but all make
preparations for a sumptuous feast. It
f(XKj g bought up. The butchers come
(n perhaps, for the largest share of
CUBtom, flesh, especially smoked
nanli ( , universal demand. Ham
among all classes of the community
Is Indispensable for the breaking of
the fast and the due celebration of the
feast Dyed eggs are in universal re
quest. The exchange of eggs, accom
nan led with kissing on the Hps and
cheeks In the form of the cross, ac
companies all gifts or exchange. The
"koolltch" and "paaka" have also to be
bought. The koolltch Is a sweet kind
of wheaten bread, circular in form,
In which there are raisins. It Is orna
mented with candled sugar and usually
has the Easter salutation on It: "Chris
tos vlskress" ("Christ Is risen"), the
whole surmounted with a large, gaudy
red-paper rose.
The paaka la made of curds, pyramid
al in shape, and contain a few raisins,
and, like the former, haa also a paper
rose inserted on th top. These are
sine qua non for th due observance
of Eaater, but what relations they may
have. If any, to the Jewish feast of th
Passover It I difficult to sss, although
In many other respect there la a strik
ing resemblance to th rvlo sf tat
tempi In Jerusalem In th ritual of tht
Russo -Greek church.
PERSONAL AND OTHE8WI8E.
The Windsor hotel. New York
be rebuilt and bear a new name,
hotel men dislike hoodoos.
Is to
Even
The price of milk has gone up with
beef in New York. The coal barons
will be obliged to divide the spoils next
winter.
The bullet of a highwayman flattened
out on the bulging brow of an Indiana
man. Road agents in that region should
carry an axe.
"Go on!" says the New York sub
committee to Captain Evans. "What do
you know about running a naval show,
anyway?"
You can't lose 'em. A man of Irish
descent has been elected chief of the
Winnebago tribe of Indians, to succeed
Black Hawk.
If the shooting ability of old Oom
Paul's burghers Is as good as In 1881,
a war In that section will fatten sev
eral new cemeteries.
John Morley Is called a "traitor" by
the Jingoes of England because he said:
"We do not wish to be a private em
pire. War with the Transvaal would
mean deep dishonor."
Sir Tommy Upton's yacht bears an
Irish name, was designed by a Scotch
man, built In England, and is manned
by Scotchmen and Englishmen. But
Yankee luck and pluck, skill and also
shrewdness, are equal to any combi
nation or emergency.
It is proposed that the souvenir badge
to be used at the Washington reception
of Admiral Dewey shall have upon it
a reproduction of the original flag of
freedom that was flnown by John Paul
Jones when he sailed In the Bon Horn
me Richard. This flag was made In
Philadelphia by Misses Mary and Sa
rah Austin, under the supervision of
General George Washington.
James N. Hill, the eldest son of Pres
ident James J. Hill of the Great North
ern railway company, has been elected
third vice president of the road. Louis
W. Hill, another son, has been made
vice president of the Eastern railway of
Minnesota. The title of general man
ager is not attached to that of the new
office of third vice president, although
J. N. Hill will perform most of the
functions of a general manager. He
will have control of all operating mat
ters, Including construction and engi
neerlng, and to him will be referred all
matters from these departments
SECULAR SHOTS.
Washington Post: A Montreal congre
gation walked out of church when i
visiting minister declared, In the course
of his sermon, that he did not believe
the bible was inspired. Ministers with
advanced views should confine their
experiments to their own congrega
tions.
Chicago News: Pope Saphronius.head
of the orthodox Greek church of Alex
andria, Lybla and Ethiopia, Is dead at
the age of 103. In connection with the
fact that Pope Leo XIII bids fair to be-
ome a centenarian, the "length of
lays" promised In the scriptures as the
reward of the religious life seems to
be verified.
Washington Dispatch to the Chicago
Record: A decieion was rendered by
the commissioner of Internal revenue
that will be Interesting to the members
of the religious denominations. The
bishop of the Roman Catholic church
it Harrisburg, Pa., recently died. Un
der the practice of the church, title to
all Its property ls vested In the bishops
of the different dioceses. When the
lelection of the late bishop's successor
was pending the question of the oper
ltion of the war-revenue law came up.
The new bishop, upon assuming office,
prepared a will under which his exec
utors must transfer the church prop
erty to his successors. The commis
sioner of Internal revenue holds that
uch transactions are liable to a stamp
tax of Jl per $1,000 of property trans
ferred. Unless this decision ls recon
sidered or overruled all transfers of
church property will hereafter be sub
ject to the tax until the war revenue
law ls repealed or amended. The total
value of the church property In the
United States is placed in the last cen
sus at over 679, 000,000, of which the
Roman Catholic church holds 1118,069,
746. This ls the first time within the
knowledge of the revenue officials when
church property has been subjected to
a federal tax.
RELIGIOUS NOTES.
The conversions of Mormons to Ca
thollclsm in Boise, Idaho, have been so
numerous aa to necessitate the erec
tion of a new Catholic church In that
city.
The remarkable statement Is made
that Rev. R. H. Conwell has, during
hi pastorate at the Temple Baptist
church in Philadelphia, baptized 3,785
convert.
Eight section at the Pari Universal
exhibition In 1900 will be devoted to
the history of the religion of the
world, with the belief of all the known
race of men, past and present"
The Outlook give a on reason for
an oversupply of clergymen in any
church that many theological students
are too laiy or too unwilling to under
take any kind of work and that some
are unfit for most work.
Rev. Dr. Lawrence M. Colfet, pastot
of an aristocratic Presbyterian church
In Philadelphia, I the owner of on of
the finest farms In Bedford county,
Pennsylvania, and spend the greater
part of hi summer vacation behind the
plow.
Th Reformed church In Newburg, N.
Y., Is trying to get rid of Its pastor,
Rev. William Burton, a new arrival
from South Dakota, because h de
nounced Governor Roosevelt and stroke
slightingly of th Spanish war. Mr.
Burton also stutter slightly, tut the
objection to him Is based on th abovi
mentioned (round
SHORT STORIES.
A WAR LOVE STORY.
A pretty little war romance Is being
vorked out at Grand Rapids, Mich. The
lero is George Martin, and the heroine,
lis wife, was formerly Senorlta Mer
:edes Gensana of Ponce, Porto Rico.
Three years ago, before the war with
Spain was even looked upon as a pos
ilbility, George Martin, then working
it his trade as a barber in Grand ( but he had the blood of the people in
HapldB, grew tired of civil life and ( his veins, and tis descendant of several
leclded to become a soldier. He en- who fought under Bonaparte was firm
isted and was assigned to the Nine-1 In his intention to follow the dlstates of
eenth infantry, then stationed at De- his heart.
j-oit. When the war broke out the j His family were distressed and an
?lneteenth was hurried south. While gry, but the prince calmly pursued his
vaitlng for orders to advance where way, and the marriage took place,
lostlllties were active, Martin was And It has turned out to be one of
itiicken with typhoid fever and was the most beautiful of all marriages.
aken to a division hospital. His regi
nent was dispatched to Porto Rico '
vith General Miles, and Martin, still a
Mttlent, but eager to Join his com
nand, sailed soon after.
When active hostilities In the island when they will, with a beautiful little
leased through the surrendering habit palace of their own, simple and home
nto which the islanders early fell, time j like in comparison with other royal res
egan to hang heavy upon the hands idences. What is more, the people idol
f the soldier. Martin decided to re- ize them.
lume his trade. He opened a little bar- j The princess Epends much time In
er shop In Ponce and soon prospered.
Ibout this time Martin discovered that
nany of the Porto Ricans were anxious
o learn the language of the conquerors,
le started a class in English, which
tecame so popular that the soldier rap-
dly advanced from barber to an in
fractor, and some of the best families
n Ponce furnished the pupils.
All went well until one day he was
ummoned to the home of the alcalde,
t was a beautiful residence of atone
ind marble, luxuriously furnished and
ontainlng evidences of good taste and
efinement. The alcalde Introduced his
laughter ,a pretty, dark-eyed senorlta,
tnd it was to teach the Senorlta Mer-
edes Gensana the English language
hat the soldier had been summoned.
rhe American was tall, stalwart and
rood looking. He fell in love with his
upil while she was conning her les-
ons. She had a susceptible heart, and
arly It became manifest that his af- j
ections were returned. The courtship
vas pursued under difficulties, with
nembers of the family always In at-
endance when the tutor was present,
n the course of time the American
i
jiked the venerable alcalde for the i
tand of his daughter, and the prize was
eadlly bestowed upon the young cltl-
n of the rich and powerful country .
vhose flae floated over Porto Rico. i
The wedding which soon followed was
ne of the most brilliant whicli the city
f Ponce ever witnessed, as befitted the
avorlte daughter of a citizen so prom-
nent and so wealthy. It was attended
y the elite of the city. Martin's com-
ades were there to the number of
00 or more. The festivities continued
everal days, and when the bells ceased
lnging the senorlta had become an
kmerlcan bride.
Soon after Martin and his bride sailed
or the United States and went directly
o Grand Rapids. The soldier's term
f enlistment had expired. He was of-
ered a commission In a new volunteer
egiment recruiting for the Philippine
ervice, but declined. He is now work
ng as a sandpaperer in a furniture fac
ory, and his southern bride is adapting
terself as best she can and most he To
tally to her new station in life as a
Kor man's wife. She and her husband
ire living on West Division street, a
ectlon of the city that ls close to the
a 11 road tracks and amid numerous
actorles. His family, honest and kind-
are poor. They know little of luxury
nd the home furnishings are of the
uost common. In such surrounding
he dainty gowns, the laces and satin
vhlch graced the bride upon her wed
ling day, Beern strangely out of place,
ind bravely has she laid them aside to
ion a kitchen apron while she helps
are the potatoes for the family meal or
vash the dishes. Under the tuition of
ler husband's mother she ls learning
he mysteries of housekeeping and du
ng the work wnicn at nome was per
brmed by the servants which she had
it command.
She bear up under it with fortitude,
ind to visitors who call seems pleased
o show the wardrobe she brought from
tome, and tries in a soft, gentle tone
vhlch tell of education and culture, to
explain the different articles. Her wed
llng gown waa of rich white satin,
vlth yards of costly lace and pearl
rlmmlngs. The gowns for ordinary
wear are light, fiuffffy affairs suitable
'or tropical wear, but against the rigors
if a northern winter she is already pre- j
ting In making dresses of woolen
lerge, a material she never before
mew.
rRUE STORY OF A ROYAL LOVE.
This Is one of the most beautiful love
itorlea ever written. It ia the story of
i man, now living, who gave up a klng
lom for his sweet heart
Now his father, the King of Sweden,
ho haa threatened to resign the throne
;o Prince Oscar, has set the whole
world thinking of that other son who
might have been king. It was Prince
Bernadotte, who loved a poor girl more
than greatness and majesty and Im
mortal fame. Indeed no character ever
appeared In romance that did more for
the love of his heart than this man.
Certainly the historian has never had
to chronicle a more remarkable tale
than that of Prince Bernadotte.
The object of his lovs was a sweet-
fared Swedish girl, on of th attend
ants of his royal mother, a girl of the
people, but of good family.
The crown prince in his first youth
fell ardently and deeply In lovs with
her and realised that lit without her
under any ctrcumstanoss would ha torture.
When be confessed hi love and hi
intention to marry to the king, hi ma
jesty was greatly concerned and strove
to bring his son to a sense of his duty
as a member of royalty. He begged
his son to reconsider his purpose and
to marry the girl morganatlcally, thus
enabling him to retain hi title and
his rights.
Had the prince come of a long line of
royal rulers the ties of place might
have been stronger than those of love.
The two after all these years are per
fectly happy and ardently devoted to
each other. They lead a charming, Ideal
life, exempt from the cares and duties
of state. They are free to go and come
doing good, and her charities are far
reaching and generous. In her sweet
face she shows how happy her life haa
been.
The prince Is Intellectual, literature
being his chief study,
The Crown Princess Oscar, who is to
be the future queen of Sweden, has
never received her sister-in-law on the
footing of equality, and has always
compelled the Princess Bernadotte to
stand in her presence and has never
allowed her to dine at the same table.
This, naturally, Is a grief to the
princess, but she Is consoled for every
thing by the devoted love of her hus
band. The queen, however, love sher
daughter-in-law, and there is a close
friendship between them.
Prince and Princess Bernadotte are
always compelled by royal etiquette to
come in at every function after all the
other members of the royal family, the
little princesses taking precedence over
the disinherited prince.
The prince has never regretted In
any degree the step he took, and his
life has been one of great happiness
and contentment.
f
DUEL WITH LASSOES.
Between a Mexican and an Ameri-
can, yes. It happened some time ago, !
but was about as exciting a piece of
worn as l ever saw. i waa iuiema.ii n.i
the time for the Seven Up (7 U P)
horse ranch in Wyoming, and we were
on our way from Sidney, Neb., with
a band of mares that had been shipped
from Missouri to Sidney, Neb. We had
to drive the animals overland to the
home ranch.
Well, I picked up an outfit of men
around Sidney, seven Americans and
three Mexicans a tough lot. We start
ed out, and when we got to the Big
Cheyenne river, south of the Black
Hills, we stopped to let the horses rest
for a few days. There was one Mexi
can, Pedro Gonzales, about the most
ill-natured and most quarrelsome man
I ever saw. He fell out with an
American by the name of Dick McAll,
an all-around bad man. I knew Dick
by reputation and he had a bad record.
Well, one day at dinner time Dick
made some remark about roping a
"greaser" down In Texas and hauling
him across the prairie until he was
worn out. The Mexican answered by
saying that the man must have been
asleep or dead, for you could not rope
a live man and do that Dick Jumped
to his feet and pulled his gun, and Pe
dro did the same. I rushed between
them and ordered them to put up their
guns. The Mexican's black eyes shone
like a rattlesnake's when about to
strike, but he put the gun back in his
belt and Dick did the same.
I knew there would be trouble, and
how to avoid It was a question net eas
ily solved. I ordered the horse wran
gler to fetch up the saddle horses, for
I Intended to move on that afternoon.
The Mexican spoke to Dick and they
walked off to one side and talked in a
tow tone for a few minutes. When the
horses came up I noticed both men
saddled up their best horses. They
both unwound their lasso ropes and
stretched them out side by side.
Dick's rope was about forty-five feet
long and Pedro's about sixty feet.
Pedro drew his knife from his belt and
cut his rope the exact size of Dick's.
They coiled up their ropes carefully
and each man led his horse in opposite
dlrectOBB until they were about a hun
dred yards apart. Then they mounted
like a flash and road toward each other.
I stood holding my horse by the bridle
and watched every move. I will never
forget the look of hate and murder on
the Mexican's face. Hi lip were wide
j apart, showing his white teeth, and a
j wicked smile seemed to play about his
mouth. Dick's Jaw were et tight,
and a lok of mingled fear and rage
combined on his savage face.
They rode slowly toward each oth
er for about fifty yards, watching each
other like a pair of caged panthers.
Then they made a dash and both ropes
shot, out like a streak of lfghtnlng.
Both men dodged and escaped. In an
Instant they had gathered up their
ropes and began to circle around and
aroun. I could hear the swish of
their ropes as they swung them around
their heads, each man trying to get
some advantage. They charged back
and forth and Anally both threw their
ropes again. It was a close call for
Dick, for the Mexican got hi rope
over Dick's head, but Dick threw it
off before he could pull up the slack. In
an Instant Pedro had gathered up his
rope and threw It sgaln and caught
Dick around th bsad and on arm.
H dm kla spurs (tost his hors and
started across th pralrt. but Ilk)
flash Dick's hand went to hi pistol,
and before the Mexican could pull him
from hi horse Dick sent a bullet
through his head and the Mexican fell
to the ground dead.,
But Dick was Jerked from hi hors
with terrible force, for the Mexican
had made the end of hi rope fast to
the saddle horn. The Mexican' horss
ran a short distance and then stopped,
and before I could get to him the other
Mexican had ridden up and emptied
his six shooter Into Dick's body. H
then put spurs to his horse and soon
disappeared across the prairie, and
that was the last I ever saw of him.
The other Mexican told me that waa
the third duel of the kind Pedro bad
fought, and always got his man.
A SEA SERPENT STORY,
A good Instance of the manner In
which sea serpent myths originate ls
afforded by certain paragraphs which
have recently appeared in the Aus
tralian papers. In its issue of Febru
ary 23 the Melbourne "Argus" an
nounced the discovery at Suwanaw Is
land by the officer of a local steamer of
the remains of a sea monster that had
been been stranded there some two
months previously. The creature wa
said to be in such a bad condition that
collecting Its remains was a most try'
Ing task; but "two heads, the two back
bones and part of the ribs" were se
cured. It was stated that there waa
"but one body, which had a doubl
spine, and two distinct heads;" while
the approximate weight of the animal
was estimated at not less than seventy
tons, and its length fully sixty feet!
In the issue of the following day the
skulls were said to be about three feet
long, and to carry a pair of tusks at th
tip of the lower Jaw. On March 2, th
same paper published an announce
ment that E. Waite of the Australian
Museum had identified the remains a
those of a "zlthold" obviously a mis
print for "ziphioid." It would thus ap
pear that the alleged double-headed
monster of seventy tons weight and
sixty feet length was based on two
carcasses of one of the species, of beak
ed whales, which are of such compara
tively common occurrence on the Aus
tralian coasts, and the largest of which
it .not known to exceed thirty feet In
length ! Nature.
VANCOUVER'S PRIZE STORY.
Every newspaper office loks at every
story from Vancouver if a trifle out of
the ordinary, with a certain degree of
distruct. They have cultivated the art
of the long bow in Vancouver.and have
cultivated it well. Here is the latest,
but you needn't believe it unless you
want to:
Joseph Moody, once of New York,
went to Alaska to hunt gold in 1891.
He is now on his way home, having
been recognized by a missionary at
Dawson, under mose ministrations he
was converted years before.
Moody was carried off from his dig
gings by Swahner Indians eight years
ago. They took him two hundred
miles into the Interior of Alaska. For
two years he was a slave to the chief
and their married the chiefs daughter.
On his royal father-in-law's death ho
became chief. He combined four tribes
under his leadership and converted
them all.
His wife died a year ago, and now he
is coming home laden with gold.
Thla is rather above the usual flight
of Vancouver Imagination, but It will
serve as a specimen.
THE TRAMP WON THE BET.
"There's a queer story connected
with that chair," said an old caterer
of this city, pointing to a substantial
piece of furniture in his private office.
"I had it originally in my bar for my
own use, but I never got a chance. It
was always occupied by some visitor or
other who couldn't resist the tempta
tion to sit down. It looked so com
fortable. I got exasperated about the
thing, and one day I was expressing
myself pretty freely when a tramp
wandered in to beg a drink.
" 'Whafll you give me if I fix that
chair so nobody 11 use It but you?' hs
asked.
" 'Flee dollars,' I replied, never up
posing he was in earnest.
"He went down to the telegraph office
stole a small piece of Insulated wir
and wrapped it around the arm of th
chair. 'There you are,' said he, 'now
watch what happens.' In a few mo
ments a customer sauntered In, edged
over to the chair and was about to alt
down when he saw the wire. 'No, you
don't,' he exclaimed, ' backing away.
'You can't catch me!' He got his drink
and went out, chuckling over his
cleverness. In half an hour five or six
others approached the chair, with th
evident Intention of camping there, but
noticed the wire and beat a retreat
"In the course of the day only on
man really seated himself. He waa a
fat old fellow, and didn't observe ths
attachment until he had settled down.
Instantly hs began to struggle to his
feet 'Don't you turn on that current f
he yelled, 'don't you dare do It or I'll
have you arrested!' As soon as h
could get up he shot out. I gave ths
tramp his $5 and enjoyed undisputed
possession a long as th chair re
mained In the bar. Everybody sup
posed it was rigged tip for a practical
Joke." New Orleans Times-Democrat
MUST HAVE A GOOD HJBAD. '
"And Is your son going to b a good
business man?"
"I guess so. They mo t Ulna:
pretty well of him down at ths aftno
any way. Thy haven't said .a t4
about discharging him, in spits of tM
fact that his handwriting it ths
aa It waa whan ha earn sat c i