NEURASTHENIA'S
MANY VICTIMS
New York. Special.) In the death
of former Governor Hoswell P.
Flower, many persona contend that an
other Illustration Is afforded In support
of the ascertlon that Americans go
through life under too great a nervous
tension, forcing upon themselves a
mental strain that Is In time bound to
affect health. If not the life of the indi
vidual. As was aptly said by Doctor Oeorge
P. Shrady today In discussing this sub
lect, "the average American constantly
ourns an electric light In his body above
the eyes while the dynamo below, rep
resented by his nervous system. Is also
kept going without Intermission. The
result of this Is that sooner or later the
electric light is bound to go out as
result of the dynamo not having had
time to rest and gain adldtional power,
Among the persons known to New
Yorkers whose deaths within the last
few years have been laid directly or In.
directly to the fact that they lived ct
too high a nervous tension may be men
tloned:
Henry George, candidate for mayor of
New York In 1887. who died suddenly in
October of that year as a result of the
constant excitement and mental strain
to which he subjected himself almost
without relaxation, although his death
was attributed directly to apoplexy
George M. Pullman of Chicago, who
died from heart disease In 1897; former
Senator Calvin 8. Brice, who died from
pneumonia In December, 1838; Ethel
Marlowe, whose tragic end from heart
ilsease on the stage of the Empire the
ater In this city In November, 1898, will
Oe recalled; Armand Castlemary, cele-
Srated as a singer, who died from heart
Ilsease on the stage of the Metropoli
an opera house during a performance,
in February, 1897; the Rev. Doctor John
Hall of the Fifth Avenue Presbyterian
:hurch, who died suddenly while on a
visit to Ireland in September, 1898;
Prof. William Pepper, one of Philadel
phia's most famous physicians, who
lied In July, 1898, heart disease being
given as the direct cause of death;
Colonel S. Van Rensselear Cruger, who
lied last year; Edouard Remenyl, vio
linist, whose end came on the stage of
i San Francisco theater In May of last
fear, heart disease having killed him,
the effect of excitement attending his
enthusiastic reception having brought
in a fatal attack of the disease; Al
phonse Daudet, novelist, whose death
was charged as being due to paresis
ind heart trouble, the result of excite
ment and the nervous tension under
which he lived; George E. Waring, for
ner superintendent of the street clean
Jig department, whose death was caus
sd by yellow fever, his vitality having
seen undermined by the mental strain
to which he had subjected himself for
feara; Prof. Henry Dressier of Colum-
ola college, whose death in December,
1897, was said to be due to fatty degen
ration of- the heart; Judge Asa W
Tenney, who died in December, 1897.
Doctor Shrady today mentioned these
aames at random as Illustrative of his
meaning that the deaths of so many
persons, particularly In the United
Kates, are da to the fact that they live
it such a high tension, never giving
themselves an opportunity to obtain
mental rest.
This Is peculiar to the American peo
ple, he declared, and does not exist to
in equal extent among the inhabitants
f the other countries, where the same
break-neck speed to amass wealth,
fame, business success, or whatever
may be the goal sought, is not fol
lowed. Neurasthenia Is the term which has
oeen given to the complaint which is
mown as the "American disease," and
which twenty years ago was laughed at
y many learned persons, who declared
(hat It existed chiefly In the' Imagina
tion. The scientific discoveries and Im
provements which have taken place
within the last few years have done
much to make the disease more wide
spread and universal. Doctor Shrady
asserted. The almost universal use of
the telephone, the telegraph and elec
tricity In other forms, which tend to
Influence people to think more rapidly,
keep their minds more constantly en
gaged, and add In a general way to the
Intense strain on the nerves and sys
tem and directly on the mental powers,
Is largely responsible for this, Doctor
Shrady holds.
There Is nothing more exciting than
life In' Wall street, he declared. The
desire for gain Is so great In man's na
ture that he will risk his health and his
life In satisfying It. The worst of it is
that those who are engaged In Wall
street speculation pay no heed to the
warning: which nature gives that the
rtl.r reached The I
danger-line k Mni The
fatal ending which follows the strain I
on the nervous system Is so Insidious In j
its approach that the victim pays no
heed to It, or deludes himself with the
belief that the end Is yet far off. He
decides upon one more operation In
stocks; he has one more restless night,
while his brain Is engaged In planning
a movement In Wall street for the next "
day. and then, like a flash, the end
comes. He has forced nature once too i
often, and the end comes with a sud-i
denness which shocks his friends, who
did not Imagine that death was so near
er that It came bv res son cf the un- tH0p of profane character,
ceasing demands made upon nature's, x,tvne Rome will Inspire you. Jesui
forces. Ihd chosen Rome as the renter of thi
.. . ., ,. highest action. Here, under his will, If
This result, Doctor Shrady said. I ,mmovabl(, ,Pat of his vicar or
brought about In different ways. Men- ,,arth. Here is guarded the truth. Fron
tal strain wil Isomeilines cause Indlges. here spreads Hitht to all the world,
tlon. The heart becomes affected and Whosoever removes hlm-elf fmrr
there I a general Inclination toward J?T r'm"vbL7rHL?3iiMilm?Jl'
V ... .. . . . Ilglous monuments)' majestic temp'ea
disease, which Increases and attacks a th, ,omhi 0f the apostles, the cata
man fatally when his system Is not In combs of the martyrs, all add to tht
proper condition to resist It. If he sanctity of Horn.
supplements this condition by moklni
black cigars or by using liquor, bt
helps to weaken his constitution.
"It Is easy to tell a man to 'go slow,'
said Dr. Shrady, "but we each think thi
lesson is not for ourselves, but for thi
other fellows. The only way to ob'ali
rest is to take a trip or an ocean voy
age, where the suflerer cannot bi
reached by cablegrams and let'rs.
"But even this relief probably will b
overcome by science before long, bj
means of a cable which will In t.m(
way be attached to the ship and alio
a passenger to know within a few see
onds how stocks are selling In Wall
street, or how his business Is going
home. It Is all very regretable and out
people should stop and consider th
penalty exacted for undue diligence
any sphere of life."
POPE LEO'S
JUBILEE BULL
Rome. (Special.) This Is a transla
tlon of the pope's bull, ordering a yeai
cf jubilee to celebrate the close of th
nineteenth century;
"Leo, to the Bishops and servants ol
uoo, to all faithful Christians, saluta.
tions and benedictions:
"To proximity of the end of the cen
tury which, through the grace of God,
we have nearly passed, has decided ui
to order action which will serve toward
the salvation of Christian people and
pernaps ie tne last act of our ministry
We wish to declare that grand jubilee,
instituted since ancient time, and whic
has come to us under the name of hoi
year, whether because it ought to be
accompanied by numerous holy cere
monies, or, above all, because It fur
nisnes a greater means ror corercting
morals and leading souls to holiness.
We have seen many benefits arising
irom tne last juntlee, under I he pontifl
cate of Leo XII. At that epoch re
ugious manifestations occurred I
Rome, making the city the veritable
ground of God.
In spirit let us recall the crowd of
pilgrims, the multitude of the faithful
visiting the temples in processions, the
sacred orators who spoke to the public,
tne pontiff himself, surrounded by Car.
ainais, giving examples of piety an
charity
Alas! These thoughts carry with
them grief, seeing the present time so
different. The former solemnities can
not be renpwed today, because the con
dltlon in Rome is so changed.
Let us hope, however, that God will
grant success for this our celebration
undertaken only for His glory, where!
we desire nothing other than to facili
tate that eternal salvation provided for
the diseases of the soul In the remedies
JeBua has placed In our hands. That I
the duty of our office and the necessity
of the times.
One cannot say this century has been
sterile In good works and Christian vlr
tues. Cm the contrary, by the grace of
Gad, we have an abundance of lllustrl
ous examples. There are no exalted
virtues In which many men have not
signalized themselves, because the
Christian religion has obtained from
God continued fruition of these vlr
lues.
At the same time, what blind errors
have prevailed! How many people are
running toward eternal ruin! What
grief for our hearts to see how many
Christians, seduced by license of
thought, are losing every day the great
gift of faith!
It la difficult to express what Injury
these habits of thought have Inflicted
upon the foundations of society.
Religious souls, full of bad tendencies
and cupidities, are taking part In a dan
gerous and dreadful struggle, without
law, aiming to seize the goods of the
world.
It l necessary then to recall to men
their duties, to succor perishing souls,
to recall the thought of eternal salva
tlon to all those who at every hour run
the danger of losing the heavenly por
tlon offered to them. This Is the aim
of the Holy Year, as the mother church
will try during this period to discipline
souls, to teach them expiation through
penance.
With this principle she will multiply
her prayer to the calm outraged ma
jority of heaven to obtain the abund
ance of heavenly gifts. In opening the
treasures of Indulgences whereof It Is
the dispenser, the church Invites the
whole of Christendom to the hope of
pardon. Why ought we not to hope for
good results If the people prepare them
selves spontaneously to honor Christ by
celebrating the end of the century?
We cannot propose anything holler or
more salutarv for them, or what we
ought to desire, aspire and hope for.
than to ask Jesus -througnout mis noiy
year for that salvation found In his
resurrection, and In abandoning wnicn
men go to perdition
Alas, many men refuse with contempt
this saving mercy. We have seen in
these latter times a renewal of the
Arlan heresy regarding the divinity of
Jesus
Rut have courage and let us to our
work!
Let all Christians contribute to these
proposals by examples of piety, joining
In teaching to the people wnat is neces
sary, detesting every form of Impiety
against the divine majesty or Jesus.
Raising our eyes to Ood. with his help
and with the approbation of the Cardi
nals, we order a universal Jubilee, to
commence In this sacred city of Rome
with the first vespers of Christmas, 1899,
and to cease on the same day in lw.
During the Jubilee year we concede
full Indulgence and pardon of sins to
all Christians truly repentant, who con
fess their sins and partake of commun
Ion. and who will visit the Basallras of
St. Peters, St. Pauls, St. Johns or that
Mar,e M or- n Rorne at ,eaB,
onpe B dav durtn(r twenty days. If hav-
ng domicile In Rome, or, for pilgrims,
during ten days. All ought to pray for
tne exauaiion Ol ine vnurcn i"r nit
extirpation of heresies, for the concert
of Catholic principles, and for the sal
vation of Catholic peoples.
Those who through sickness, or other
legitimate causes, cannot visit th
Roman Basallras, If they confess and
communicate, may also benefit In th
Individual.
To Rome we Invite you, with love,
sons of
the church throughout th
world.
At the same time good Catholics oughl
iii.rini thia norlnrl In renounce all snec-
A CALIFORNIA GIRL
Mrs. Mowbray did nothing but weep,
and Evangeline, who was feeling more
miserable every rroment, w is glad to
hear Lilac's step outside and to have
the tete-a-tete interrupted.
Lilac came In with a face like sun
shine. It seemed as if she had washed
away with her tears all her doubts and
misgivings, and thought now of noth
ing but the new, wonderful fact that
Roy loved her after all as she loved
him, and that Evangeline's happiness
did not depend upon the sacrifice of her
own. For a moment she had forgotten
Mark; but the sight of his mother's
grief recalled him, and her beautiful
eyes clouded over at once.
"You have told her?" she asked
Evangeline in an undertone; and her
friend nodded she could not trust her
self to speak. Lilac glanced once more
at the old lady, who was trying In vain
to repress her sobs, then threw herself
Impulsively upon her knees beside her.
"Dear Mrs. Mowbray, I am so sorry for
your disappointment and Mark's! I am
really not worth It. He will find a
much better wife than I should have
made him; and I could not it would
not be right to marry him, would it
when Roy Is 111 for love of me, and I
care so much for him?"
Mrs. Mowbray stroked her hair ca
resslngly.
"You are bound in honor to Mark,
Lilac, dar.
"But he will release me, I know. He
is so Just and generous!" said Lilac
confidently.
"And If he does not?" asked the old
lady, as Evangeline had done.
Lilac answered solemnly.
"Then I will keep my promise. But
I am sure that he will release me when
he knows. Mark! What Is that?"
It was the sound of a cab stopping be
fore the house.
"It cannot be Mark yet," said Mrs.
Mowbray. "He said that he could not
be home till after dinner."
But as Bhe spoke the novelist's voice
was heard In the hall. He had finished
his business In town a little earlier
than he expected, and had hastened to
get back to his bride-elect.
Evangeline was very glad that he
had come. She was anxious to have
everything settled and take Lilac back
with her to Delverton, where she would
telegraph to Roy at Westwood to meet
them.
"You had better go to him and tell
him all before he sees us together,"
said Evangeline, who felt that It would
be very unpleasant for her to meet and
have to speak to this Mr. Mowbray
before he knew the object of her visit;
and Lilac bjwed her head In silence
and opened the door.
Evangeline would have given a last
word of advice and encouragement, but
she caught the old lady's pathetic eyes
fixed upon her face and the words froze
upon her lips. She listened to Lilac's
retreating footsteps as she ran down
the half-dozen steps Into the hall, and
then to the sound of Mark Mowbray's
olce. Then a door closed.
"They are gone Into the study," said
Mrs. Mowbray. "Oh, my poor boy, my
poor boy!"
She began to sob again, and, as
Evangeline was too anxious to speak,
the two sat quietly, both wondering
with widely-differing hopes what was
passing between the two people In the
study, who, but for Evangeline's visit,
would have been husband and wife on
the morrow.
An hour went by without a word be
ing exchanged between them. Then
the old lady broke the long silence.
"He will not release her," she said,
"or they would not have spent such a
time discussing the matter. 1 am un
able to see how anybody can expect
him to do so."
Evangeline had already become very
anxious on the point. She as about
to reply rather hotly, when Mrs. Mow
bray held up a warning finger.
"Hush! That was the opening of the
study door. Now we shall know."
Truy both listened eagerly; but they
hear no voices, only the sweep of a
dress as Lilac passed the door and
went on upstairs. The old lady wait
ed until the sound had ceased and then
arose.
"She has gone to her room," she said.
I will go and see my boy, If you will
excuse me.
Lilac bowed.
"And I will go to Lilac. Is her room
on the floor above?"
Yes the first door that you come
to."
Evangeline had expected lo see her
friend In tears, but, when, after a pre
liminary tap, she opened the door of
her room, she found the girl dry-
eyed, but with a look of hopeless mis
ery upon her white face which was
far more expressive of grief than any
tears could have been.
Lilac crossed the room as her friend
entered and spoke In a dull, despairing
voice:
"He refuses to release me."
"Then you must release yourself," j
said the heiress indignantly "nothing
could be more dishonorable than mar.
rlage In such circumstances! Mr. Mow
bray has sunk In my estimation. You
must not marry him!"
"I must. If he will not release me."
"Then I shall have to see him at
once and make him release you!" suld
F.vangeline, her temper ralBed to while
heat by the unexpected refusal; and,
on the spur of the moment she ran
down stairs and Into the study.
She had expected to find Mrs. Mow
bray and her son; but the old lady had
been met at the study door with the
Information that Mark wished to be
alone, and, when Evangeline entered,
she found him by himself.
Hhs Introduced hetself breathlessly
and, before Mark had any time to pro
test, launched into an appeal to bis bet
ter nature, accompanied by a review
of the whole situation from her point
of view.
Mark, standing by the mantelpiece,
with a white drawn face and tighten
ed lips, listened without a word till she
had finished. His face looked very dif
ferent from the bright almost boyish
one with sunny blue eyes which Lilac
had first seen on the Gemini, for Lilac's
appeal had come as a great shock to
him when he was congratulating him
self that all danger of losing her was
past.
Evangeline, however, was far too In
dignant with him to feel any pity for
the evident signs of suffering upon his
handsome face.
"Your love must be a selfish one,"
she said, "since you think about it
rather than of Lilac's happiness." f
Mark answered at last.
"Pardon me, Miss Garth," he said
gravely "you misjudge me. My re
fusal to release Miss Marvel from her
engagement arises from the deep in
terest I take in her happiness. I have
never met Sir. Roy don Garth; but from
all that I have heard I do not think
that Miss Marvel's future would be
safe in his hands. Although he pre
tended to be In love with her in San
Francisco, he did not marrv her there,
or even allow her the privilege of ton
sldering herself definitely engaged to
him, but sent her instead to endure the
ordeal of a visit to his relatives while
her position was undetermined. He
believed unquestlonlngly an absurd
charge made against her by a jealous
woman and her fatuous father; and
the Instant that she had released him
from the shadow of an engagement
existing between them, he proposed
marriage to yourself. These do not
appear to me to be the actions of
man who Is really In love, or who Is
likely to make any woman who cares
for him happy. I think that Miss Mar
vel's happiness Is safer in my own
hands.
"But you do not know Roy or you
could not speak like that!" cried Evan
geline, In distress at this formidable
array of charges against her cousin
"If you knew him, you would be sure
that he Is one of the best and most un
selfish and devoted men In the world,
and that he loves Lilac even more than
you can do.'
"I question the last possibility," said
Mark, with a grave smile. "If Sir
Roydon Garth could fhow me that he
Is all that you say, cr could even sat
isfy me with regard to the charges I
have made against him, I should recon
sider my step; but, If he himself takes
no step, 1 shall make Miss Marvel my
wife at the appointed time tomorrow.'
"Then tomorrow Sir Roydon Garth
shall certainly satisfy you," said Evan
geline, Jumping at the chance which
the novelist himself suggested; "I will
telegraph to him at once. At present
he Is thinking that Lilac left the hall
simply because she. preferred you to
himself; and he has not yet recovered
from the Illness which her departure
caused."
She paused only to run to tell Lilac
of the result of her Interview before
setting out at once for the telegraph
office. Lilac's attitude annoyed her,
But what If he does not come?" she
said despairingly. "He still thinks
that I cared for Mark."
"I am coin to explain all that," said
Evangeline confidently; and Lilac re
joined doubtfully
How can you explain in a tele
gram?"
'Trust me!" said the heiress; and
the next moment she was out In the
street composing the text of the tele
gram as she walked to the nearest post-
office.
CHAPTER XXIX.
Miss Emmott felt that she was pro
gressing very well. Lady Bettaby and
the Major took every opportunity of
throwing her and Sir Roydon together;
and, although the baronet was more
Irritated than anything else by the
girl's chatter, he was too indifferent
and apathetic to struggle against their
Joint efforts. Consequently Sabina her
self was able to play the part of the
shy and demure little maiden without
losing anything by It; and she played
It very nicely.
One day Sablna, who had been study
ing a guide-book to the neighborhood,
expressed some eagerness to see n
certain famous rocking-stone on the
moors, six miles away from the house
by road, and took care to express the
wish when Lady Bettaby and Sir Roy
don were present. As It happened, her
father was also present, and he almost
spoiled her plans by saying that he
himself would like to drive over with
her and see it.
"But, papa," said the girl, "you know
that It gave you neuralgia the last
time you drove with me across the
moors, and you said that you would
not do It again."
The major did not remember saying
to, but he was pleased as usual with
his daughter's care of him.
It would be a pity for you to miss
seeing It If you wish to have a look at
it." he said. "Of course you cannot go '
alone." I
I would much rather not see It than
that you should make yourself III, 1
papa," said Miss Sablna, with nplr-niarch
It, "although It Is said to be very re-
markable. Would you like a drive,
Lady Bettaby? I will promise to go
very slowly." Her ladyship professed to
feel nervous because of Sabina's reck
less driving.
As usual Lady Bettaby came to the
girl's assistance by making an appeal
to the young baronet.
"You have not seen the Chicken
Stone, have you, Roy?" she asked In
nocently. "Then you would like to see It again."
remarked her ladyship. "You might
drive Sablna over after tea. The sir
will do you good, and you will get back
In time for dinner."
"But, dear Lady Bettaby," said Sabl
na, In shy protest, "I am sure that Bi
Roydon will not like to be troubled
by my chatter all that time. I nev
er know what to talk about to clevei
men."
"Then Roy cannot be clever," said
her ladyship, "for I notice that you
have always plenty to say to him."
The discussion ended in Sabina . and
Sir Roydon driving off together in
the dog-cart. During the drive Miss
Emmott made herself as agreeable as
possible.
"If I have only time, I will make him
marry me yet," she said to herself
dally. "But I wonder what has be
come of the Calif ornlan girl?"
Miss Emmott's ignorance with re
gard to Lilac's fate was the only dls
turbing element In the situation. Sa
bina was far too shrewd a judge of
character to believe that Sir Roydon'
fiancee had proved unstable or that the
affection which she undoubtedly had
for him had Changed, and she was puz
zled to think what had come between
the lovers and prevented Lilac from
giving her own truthful account of
her conduct on board the Gemini.
"I suppose It Is her high-and-mlghty
ladyship's doing," she said to herself,
having formed an equally shrewd est!
mate of Lady Garth; and the fear that
the misunderstanding between the lov
ers which had caused the baronet's 111
ness might be a temporary one, liable
at any moment to be removed, render
ed her uneasy.
As she started on her drive to the
Chicken-Stone, she determined at all
costs to question her companion, and
draw from him In some manner all
that she wanted to know; but, as It
was a matter of considerable delicacy,
she wisely put It off till the return
Journey. It was not till they had vis.
lted the curiously-shaped stone, climb
ed It, and were returning home, that
Miss Emmott ventured to begin. They
were already nearing the village of
Westwood, and Sablna had been talk
Ing about her travels with her father,
and, In speaking of the voyage home
across the Atlantic, she Incidentally
mentioned Lilac's name. She stopped
awkwardly as she did so.
"I beg your pardon I" she said has
tlly.
"Why?" asked Hoy gravely; and tha
girl turned her head to take a peep
at his Inscrutable face.
"I thought that you did not like me
to mention her," she said.
The baronet's voice sounded cold and
stern.
"It Is immaterial to me whether you
do to or not," he said.
Sabina shivered, frightened a little
by his tone. But she kept on boldly
"I am so glad that you will allow
me!" she remarked warmly. "I have
been anxious to hear about her. You
see 1 was very fond of her, in spite ol
her conduct, and I fhould like to know
whether she is well."
"I cannot tell you." said Roy. "Miss
Marvel left Delverton before my re
turn, and I' have no knowledge of ber
subsequent movements."
"Dear me!" cried Sablna Incredulous
ly. "It seems impossible that a girl
could be so foolish as to undervalue
love like yours!" She ended 1he sen
tence with a shy hesitation. "I wish
that you would stop at the rostofflce
as we pass." she 'said when they en
tered the village; I have a purchase to
make."
"Can I get It for you?" he asked, as
he pulled up the mare; but Sabina
shook her head, smiling.
'I know that you can do almost
everything, Sir Roydon, but I do not
think that you can match wool."
"Will you try me?"
"I should not like to tax your ener
gles so much before we have made you
quite strong again; besides, it Is get
ting too dark for anybody but an ex
pert not a mining expert " She broke
off, smiling again, and jumped down
lightly, passing through the long gar
den that led to the curious little village
shop where two old spinsters sold a
marvelous variety of small articles, be
sides ministering to the postal needs
of the neighborhood.
CTo be continued.)
Bands On the Battlefield.
The utility of music In matters per
taining to war is probably one of the
greatest forces. At the present day, in
all the armies of the world, musical war
signals are considered not only useful,
but absolutely Indispensable. The In
fantry drill regulations of many coun
tries give the music and significance
of more than sixty trumpet signals
calls of naming, of assembling, of
alarm, of service and so on besides a
dozen or more drum and fife signals,
all of which is a definite language to
soldiers.
But Its use is not merely confined to
signalling, for music is used In other
ways for purposes of war. In the way
of dispelling weariness on the march,
nothing is equal to the music of a brass
band. Lord Wolseley. says Pearson's,
hal remarKed that "troops that sing as
ihPV march will not only reach their
d(..'tlnat0.n more quickly and In better
fighting condition than those who
n silence, but, inspired U.y the
mus0 and words of the national song,
wm feei that self-confidence which Is
tne mother of victory."
Probably savages are the most sus
ceptible to the warlike feelings Inspired
' by certain class music. It arouses their
anger, Incites their fanaticism, and by
accompanying their war dances In time
of peace It arouses their lust of war.
For this reason It Is among warlike na
tions that early music was most devel
oped. The German army Includes more than
10.000 military musicians. Otbr pow
erful nations on the continent employ
rather less numbers In mllltsfy bands
DOMESTIC IDYLS.
Chicago Record: "My wife Is treat
with a pistol." "She Is?" "Yes; she
5 red at a burglar the other night and
tilt the electric button, which set an
alarm going all over the house."
Chicago Tribune: "You disgusting
creature!" exclaimed the pink and
white young woman who met him at
the door. "You are as repulsive as
as a cabbage worm!" "Yes'm," replied
Tuffold Knutt, who was on his journey
westward. "An' I'm a good deal like a
cabbage worm, b'sides. I'm eattn' mjr
way Into the interior, ma'am."
New York Weekly: Paterfamilias
(furiously) You scoundrel! You villain!
Why did you elope with my daughter?
New Son-in-law To avoid the Insuffer
ible fuss and nonsense of a society
wedding. Paterfamilias (beamingly).
Thank heaven! my daughter got a sen
sible husband.
Detroit Free Press: "Is it true, dar
ling, that you gave the minister $20 for
marrying us?" "Yea, but keep It to
yourself. I was never so swindled in
my life."
Indianapolis Journal: "When ona
oreaks an engagement," suggested the
bud, "I suppose it is the proper thins;
to return the engagement ring." "If it
were not," replied the girl who had
been out three seasons, "some girls
would have to have their engagement-
ring fingers lengthened."
Chicago Post: "How Is it that your
wife is so tractable?" "Why, I told her
when we were married that she could
do Just exactly as she pleased, and so
3f course she finds no pleasure In doing
It."
Detroit Journal: "I haven't had a
square meal since I was married," he
protested angrily. His wife contemplat
ed him with horror, not unmlngled with
scorn. "Of course not! she exclaimed.
The truly artistic taste recoils from
mgular figures! Square! Ugh!"
Chicago Record: "Oh, Harry, listen to
'.his: In Siberia they chain convicts
;o thetr wheelbarrows." "Well, Har
riet, you know very well you'd chain
me to the lawn mower If you weren't
ifrald the neighbors would blow about
t."
Somervllle Journal: You never can
please a girl hen she shows you her
photograph by exclaiming: "Oh, what
pretty picture!" and then saying.
:houghtfully, a minute afterward: "And
it really looks a good deal like you,
oo."
TOLD OUT OF COURT.
In a criminal prosecution recently
.rled In York, Neb., relates Law Notes,
.he Jury, after a brief deliberation, re
amed the following remarkable ver-'
liet: "We, the Jury In the above named,
ase, do not believe one word that th
witnesses have sworn to, neither do wa
pelieve that any of the attorneys have'
spoken the truth, nor that either of
hem could do so, even if he should care
o take the trouble to try." The hu
mor In remarks casting doubt upon tha'
veracity of the legal profession has lost
(he freshness of early youth, and a
food, stiff penalty for contempt In a
ase of this kind would probably re-
lound to the benefit of mankind in gen
eral.
In deciding the divorce suit of Kraus
against Kraus at Cincinnati on March
t5. Judge Davis rendered excellent ser
vice to those of the fair sex who seek
py artificial means to remedy such de
eds in face and figure as unkind na
ure has dealt out to them. He held
hat the concealment by a prospective
pride that 'she had a glass eye was not
ground for divorce. He said: "It Is
not necessary for a woman, during
ourtshlp, to inform her intended hus-
sand of any device or attachment used
io Improve the work of nature in the
onstructlon of her face, form or flg-
re. If a glass eye, purposely con-
ealed before marriage, be fraudulent
representation and a ground for di
vorce, why are not false teeth( false
hair or any other false article peculiar
to the fair Bex also a ground for di
vorce? Judge Alonzo G. Meyers was sitting;
under a big tree In Brandon, Miss., one
fine day, exchanging experiences with
Dr. Hart, the minister, and some more
of the folks of Brandon. Judge Meyers
has a circuit which Includes twenty-
seven counties, and nineteen of them
are off the railroad lines. On that ac.
ount things happen to him once In a
while which he thinks are worth re
counting. This day It chanced that Dr.
Hart's attention was attracted to Judge
Meyer's feet. There was something
peculiar about them, to tell the truth.
They were quite long, but they wers
wide, and the' Judge made no attempt
to conceal the fact. Dr. Hart had very
small feet, and he was Just as proud
of them aa if he deserved any credit.
He had his boots made to order and
kept them nicely polished, and other-
lse sought to direct attention to his
cute little feet.
This particular day, while the group
was sitting out under the tree at Bran
don, Dr. Hart said:
Judge, that's a pretty fair under
standing you have there, isn't it?"
The court looked at the foot rather
admiringly and said:
"Yes, that Is a pretty big foot. That
was remarked to me by a horseman
that rode dow"n from Nashville wtth me
a month ago. He said I had a big foot
and I said: "Don't you always find
that good horses, you know always have
big feet?
"He says, 'Oh, yes; that's the rule.'
" 'Well,' says I, 'Isn't it true that
Jackasses always have small feet?'
"And he says, 'Oh, yea, that's true,
too.' "
After that Dr. Hart changed tha sub
ect to the prospects for a good cotton)
rop, which wars not encouraging.