icon Journal , CASUS, liin ,m Twp. f rroa. IM. to broke it 1117 bare re- kto falling on hard times. grass widow will toon be hy the newer "Klondike the Chinese have no friends. to eaty one way the powers are part. li to escape punishment In at Ike United States can't Gn aw haekliy; to cumins over Wrappers of gam are out on a strike If t&e chewera of cum go sot on a sympathetic strike mU wiM be forgiven. The laventor of the telectroscope is Mr. gcaacapanlk. The whole of hi aasse to enough to give almost anyone tow teat Ave letters of It la practically Inviting Uncle Sam to Jfcaocfc n chip off Its shoulder, Spain ssaj be unaware of the proximity of tne shoulder to the neck. while thst of anthracite baa declined. Brsdsrree-t's Mates that the total an thracite marketed in 1S amounted to 43.177,485 tons, and ia 1807 to 41,037,. 844 tons. From this k would appear that anthracite coal, while, perhaps. not exf ftly disappearing, wss never theless 1:0 ring short in quantity. One reason for this may be found In the fact that practically all of the antiira cite mines in the country are now own ed or controlled by a single monetary mtereat or combination and as com pletely aa though they were all open tied under one name. Around this season eggs are In such waand en thus las tic farmers wouldn't lad seeing the ben made the national and egg-plants the national flower. Originally the curfew meant the put ting oat of lights. Nowadays when It catches Its victim on the street at a forbidden hour it signifies: Light out! bfl ponding In the Ohio Legislature tnrbioa the marriage of "insane per son or parsons of unsound judgment." Xos the Buckeye State Intend to pro Mbat morrlage altogether? Twenty Boston spinsters are en route as the Klondike. Of coarse, they have Omthlng to fear from the climate, since othing that to colder than a Boston ever has been discovered. man who had been refused three by his best girl In anger slapped face. She Immediately collapsed accepted him. It seems that men oetnetimes waste lots of good time. It is said that Brooklyn bridge to ow losing about $1,500 per day. It la eUflicust to understand bow this can be aw. Greater New York should see to it that the great enterprise Is made self- , at least. "Her march to o'er the mountain wavea, her home is on the deep." John Ml sings the same old song, and then cheerfully dips into his pocket for fU8.000.000 to keep up the "march" aid the "home" for another year. Japan seems likely to drive the Swedes out of the match trade, and her asportation, which was 8.000 gross of Who In 1884, rose to 9,000,000 gross in UK and 18,000.000 gross in 1S-.XS. The Japs are getting to be a match for al femet anything. L Every advance in war engines is a Vwlft advisee toward universal peace. Ian 0000 as the mastery of mind over force and matter becomes so complete that annihilation can be speedily and wanly visited upon hostile armies or Posts the human race will be under an toahreakable bond to keep the peace. 1 - verdict of guilty without punish son to la the nature of an indorsement ly the government of the general belief .the the trial of Zola was a Judicial fniMu It will simply deepen and widen he conviction that Captain Dreyfus . was the victim of a conspiracy, and that vto disgrace and imprisonment on !Dvra Inland to a great crime, for the swan mission of which, sooner or latet, Trance wml suffer. UblMaAta liaa. a law 4a mmmmm Ism planting. A bounty of $2.50 an to offered, and at least one acre be planted, while no person can easts ct for more than ten acres in a year or for more than six years. Any ran bat the Mack loo net may he plant ed. Last year bounties were paid to twenty-five counties for planting 9, 84 acres. The law has been in oper ttoa sixteen years. In that time more 1 100,000 acres have been planted in One of the curious problems that baa attracted specialists Is to ascertain In what quarter of the globe men attain the greatest age. The censuses of the various nations give, with much exact noes, the average of human life among the people, but unfortunately all na on no not make enumerations of their population and so there remains some doubt where men reach the great- em age. me attempt has been maae to find where the largest number of men have pawed the century mark and generally it bas been ascertained that mild climates are more conducive to longevity than those which have ex tremes of either high or low tempera tures. The last census of Germany showed that in a population of 55,0tiO, 000 seventy-eight persons In that coun try were more than 100 years of ace France, with a population of 40,000,000, bad 213 centenarians; England, with a population of 27,490.000, had 140 cen tenarians; Ireland had 578 among 4. 706,000 people; but Scotland bad only 56, with a population a little leas than that of Ireland. Sweden had only 10 among a people nominally like those of Ireland and Scotland, while Spain with a population of 17,550.000, had 401 persons over a century old. The oldest person in the world is an African residing in Rio de Janeiro, who is ! years old, and next to him Is a Russian coachman living In Moscow, who U 140 years of age. A study of the statistics of our for eign trade for the past year shows that while the united Kingdom is our largest customer H does not take so large a proportion of our exports as for merly. Ten years ago the total value of our exports to the United Kingdom was $359,734,531, or over 50 per cent of our total exports; whereas In lM.t7 the proportion had fallen to about 41 per cent. Though k bas decreased rel atively, It stili reaches the great valua oi s4sz,utM,u, an increase or over $120,000,000 in the nine years umier consideration. The total increas in our exports to all countries during the saji.e period bas been 50 per cent. Our exports to Germany have risen from about 8 per cent of tbe total to about 12 per cent.; our exports to France have remained stationary at about i per cent, while those to the Nether lands have risen from 2 to S3 per cent. Tbe large Increase In our exports, amounting to $94,000,000 over tbe pre vlous year was, of course, chiefly due to the Increased demand for oar wheat and corn, tbe increased export of all cereals amounting In value to some $70,000,000. Tbe increase In exports of iron and steel was $14,000,000; In bi cycles it was $3,000,000; in cop;er. f.1, 000,000; and in lumber and manu factured articles In wood, $5,500, 000. The excess of our exports over our Imports amounts to $1, 281,741,351 for the past five years; and there to special significance In the figures when wo bear In mind that tbe period bas been marked by depression and various Influences which h.nv tended to disturb business confidence. The treaty for tbe annexation of Ha araH has been virtually abandoned In Abo United State Senate. In its place a joaat resolution na been Introduced which to latsmded to effect tbe same re- Tbo treaty required for ratlflca- tho support of two-thirds of the i; bat the joint resolution may i law by the rote of a majority of of Congress. There to a st for this proceeding, as It was ' joint resolution that Texas was in to Bin, after the treaty negotl- fZXk cy Mr. Calhoun had bora summer- Cy njaatos by the Senate. loth booses ty la Oa eonouo year 17 the produc er t sMmtrtto osal wm lSJTMOO .Ttrai Co fndaadoa of bttamjaout coal zi XZ7kin toon. Tea yean later T trm won 3S72,100 tons and (rr:Urj too. respectively. The aa JJ c"3eal report of the AjMricsn ' 2 a m aooociatton a ubto t 'f-rlatCSs of aatbfacMe trJ 12 n osal for each eatoe3r,ywr H3 to Inclusive. Tht pro ItfsCTncUa laerssa to 81.- r ti T aa httominoua 1 L-trJ t aatk tergor vf Ttt Cii year.- In a recent address In New Tork Dr. Iavld James Burrell very fittlnrlr characterized tbe Spanish people and pointed out the difference between them and ourselves. "The effect," be said, "of indolence upon a nation finds an apt Illustration In Spain. No conn try on earth bas a richer soil. They say, 'If you tickle It with a boe It wU) laugh with a harvest' But unfortun ately for tbe Castllian race they have a prejudice against tbe boe. They art given to bun fighting and fan flirttnz ana love making. Once there were 12. 000 villages along the Ouadalqulver; now there are but 800. The land bas fallen Into Innocuous desuetude. The people are a race of beggars more or less respectable. There Is no greatwM In Spain. If the kingdom were to per ibu iraa me earui ii wouia leave no laws, no literature, nothing as a legacy to posterity. The pride of the Span lards to vast and ludicrous. Their strength has been bluster for centuries. Ltttle Holland, with less than 3,000,000 of people, fought Spain, one generation taking up tbe fight where tbe last had left it until Philip III. begged for an armistice. Tbey are unable even to subdue Cuba. Poor, famished Cuba' What a pathetic farce to this, that the grandees of Spain, with their armies, should be successfully resisted by a few brave Islanders whose rank art decimated by slaughter, famine and plague! We, on tbe contrary, have been derided aa a nettoa of shopkeep ers and artisans.' Our glory Is In the truth of that Imputation. Alas! for ns, when wo consent to look on labor wKh Bpaatota eyes! Lot as rejoice that a call for volunteers would bo answered as it was who Lmcoto made bis his toric appeal for 'a hundred thousand nsore. not by volunteer from the street corners and the drawing-rooms, bat from the fields and the workshops. Her Is the source of oar greatness; Iter Is the hope of oar perpetuity. Tn trae American to neither tbe aim taker nor to gentleman of leisure." aHroagtaj of the ftpidrr. Naturalists any that, In proportion of their atot, aoiflors are seven times at strong as BONDS NOT REQUIRED WAR FUNDS CAN BE OBTAINED IN OTHER WAYS. Actaal Workings of ths Villainous War Bond Byateat Kixr(l - Whr Not Pax in Greenbacks the Kipcom Incnrrad in Carrying; on the Conflict, Bonds and Bondage. Secretary Gage bas been In Wall street begging tbe bsnkocracy to ac cept a 3 per cent mortgage upon the industries of this and future genera tions to the extent of a $.jUO,Umi,ooo war loan, with more to follow wlieu the contractors hare eaten up that vast sum. And of course the bankers of Wall street are willing to buy the bonds, since under their manipulation of the finance the three dollars which they will receive as annual interest upon each hundred dollar bond will buy more labor and labor products than ten dollars did thirty years ago. The people must try to i-sialilisb a blockade against the scheme, and ibt y can succeed if they will show enough energy in upholding the allied free silver senators and representatives who are fighting it and retiring those who have connived at it. As long as the war lasts this bond proposition will come up again and again, and or ganization In opposition to it should be kept up by the I'opullsts and their free silver allies. The alternative propositions, an In come tax, the free coinage of sliver, and tbe Issuance of greenbacks, will certainly rally a majority at the polls next November. "We propose," says Mr. Bailey, "to tax the rich men now rather than mortgage the energies of poor men for future generations." That is .very well put. "Interest bear lug bonds," said Thomas Jefferson, "are a robbery of posterity." They rob tbe present generation, also, to the extent that Interest payments fall due, and as tbe war can easily be conducted without tbe payment of s dollar In In terest It Is a crime to saddle an Interest burden upon the people. Tbe Cleveland Recorder says: "The proper way for the government of tbe United States to raise money is to issue greenbacks. There has never been a better plan than that which was invented by Secretary Chase in the last war. It is a crime for tbe United States government to pay Interest on Its loans from the people. It Is little less than criminal for citizens to accept Interest from the government In times of Its necessity. The trouble with the whole money problem in these latter days comes from tbe bond business in the time of the slaveholders' war. Tbe bonds were bought at 40 cents on the dollar and were bought with green backs. Now It Is Insisted that thejt made bankrupt and worthless by that law of legal teuder. Positively, If peo ple would study this subject In the light of common sense, tbe system could not eilst one day longer. It Is robbery, piracy, fraud and tbe sum of all tbe vll lalules enthroned by law and compel, lug tbe admiration, wonder, worship snd tribute of tbe whole world at the beck of a few supernal urally avaricious men." - Am AtctJaoa shotU m to bottoveo that If bt sag bo shot la the kacft shall be paid at par and with gold. Sti ver is not good enough for your shark. lie must buy with the poorest money and must have bis febylock's pound of flesh back In the best money. If tbe. government needs money, let the print ing presses be started. Iet the ex penses be paid lu greenbacks." Following are some reflections by uoit on tne workings or tne war bond system: "Tbe debts of nations are alwut thlr- ty-flve billion dollars. Tbey are all payable In gold alone. Their interest also Is payable In gold alone. "The gold stock of the world is about four billion dollars. Notwithstanding tbe increased product of gold It Is un likely the stock will ever increase very much above five billions, if so much. as It is a perishable metal, easily wast ed in tbe handling and has to be care fully boarded to prevent this waste. Yearly the arts demand more of the product ip wasteful ways. Tt.e debts of the world, especially national debts, are Increasing as never liefore, and without some fearful revolution, under present methods of administration, tbey must continue to increase, if banks or Individuals had their awn obligations out In the same proposition, all payable In gold only, and It wa known that they had but one ninth of their promised gold, and that It would he impossible to procure enough gold to pay them, what would that condition be called? Bankruptcy, total and irre trievable. "But here is something worse. Cer tainly some of these national Itouds must be good for their entire principal In the very nature of things. Some of them, like mortgages, nre older tbsn others. Some are eveu older than are several of the most hopelessly Indebted governments. When the tlrst bonds were Issued, tbe gold was delivered for them, and that gold has all been return ed as Interest Tbe owner of some of these oldest bonds bold all tbe gold stock of tbe world. Tbey have tbe bonds, and time has delivered back to them, through usury, tbe gold also. Tbey bsve taken care that the gold shall never be found In tbe possession of those who own tbe thirty billions or so of later bonds. Suppose aa Im possibility. Suppose that tbe old bonds of tbe British government should be redeemed. Then by a natural proces tne next best secured bonds would take tbelr place and fall Into tbe bands of this one bouse of Rothschilds. What an absurd system Is this which really bankrupts all tbe bonds but those held as first lien on all the gold. and which cornels tbe financial sys tem of all nations to revolve around that British national debt aa the golden sun of tbe wbole. and virtually compels tbe labor, and toll, and gen I as of the world to pay Infinite tribute to that one house! It Is the outcome of the golden basis system by which all the real money of the nations, the paper and silver, to declared no money and gold to msde tbe sole legal teador-gold that never docs any work aa money, hat effects It through Its ao-csiled ropre-(oataares-all of which are la roaKtv Levy an Income Tax. Congressman Benton McMlllln. oi Tennessee. In advocating an Incora" tax as a means of raislug revenue, said, we are resorting to that method of tax which Is extensively adopted by most of the leading nations of the world. England hns an Income tax of 7 pence in the pound. The exemption Is a bun died and fifty pounds. She bas bad an Income tax all the time for fifty years, and most of the time for a hundred years. There Is no power In the British Kmplre to break down this tax. Most of the states constituting tbe ijerniaii empire have an income tax. Tbe exemption in Prussia is WW marks. The income tax Is 1 per cent, on all Incomes between WW and 1.200 marks; 2 per cent, on incomes over 1.200 and under 3.(W0 marks; 3 per cent, on all In comes from 3.x tu to 10.000 marks, and on Incomes above lOO.Ouu marks, 4 per cent Itavaria imitoges an Income tax of 1 per cent, and collected, in 12. there from 2.U0.(j(i0 marks. Baden has an Income tax of 2 per cent Bremen has an Income tax of 4 per cent Austria has a graduated Income tax ranging front to 20 per cent, and collects a l...'ye part of her taxes from this source. Italy in "i s an Income tax of from 13 to 20 i,..- cent, and collects there from $45,000,000. Switzerland Imposes an Income tat also. Iu all of the countries Imposing an Income tax. so far as I know, perma nent resident foreigners hsve to pay tbe tax; and It Is said that In England not even permanent residence of citi zens of other countries is required to lay the foundation for the tax, but so journers, after a certain amy, are as sessed their Incomes. It Is sometimes urged that It will not be wise to impose an Income tax. be cause some American ciiizens would leave their country and settle abroad to escape it. carrying their wealth with them, and we would thereby lose. This is not probable, because they would most likely subject themselves to simi lar or heavier Impositions in the coun try of their adoption. But even If they did, those citizens who would give up tbe free institutions of their own coun try and deliberately become the sub jects of monarchy rather tlxtn contrib ute their fair share to support the gov ernment whose freedom nnd fertility have enabled them to accumulate their fortunes would not be au irreparable loss to any country. The Empty Meev. The empty sleeve of a veteran old Little Brii-ht Kyea was peeoitir in, Seeking In vsin through Its every fold, And wondering ever the void withis. Moat strange coincidence, far away The thoughts of the veteran sadly bong Over events of s memoried dsy When heads bent low and hearts were wrong. Once again he feels the patriot fire Which a Lincoln stirred snd a Grant upbore. To throttle the power of relwllious ire Bred from a "cause" which is cause no more. Only he and his comrades know (Like a never-to-be-forgotten dirge) Of the horrors of war and tbe seed tbey ww Of tbe prison pen and its lasting scourge. Once again In danger, bis nstire land, Oppression braves snd its baneful harm Now crippled sod old, yet he'd raise bis hand And for liberty's sake she the other arm! Cleveland Leader. Bight and Wrong- Methods, When you want to convert a neighbor to Populism, don't go to him and shake your fist under his nose and call him a ! lop-carwl. gimlet-eyed, whopper-Jawed sou or sin. The average of all parties la an hon est man. He believes that be Is right and that you are wrong. Tbe beat way to convince a Republican is to place Populist literature in his bands, and ask of him as a personal favor to your self that he should open your eyes to the truth or falsity of your political principles, and when be comes to you after reading, and enters a protest do not then try to argue with him; let blm have bis say, but Just keep loading blm up with tbe truth as you see It, and if he Is not too narrow between tbe eyes you may expect results inside of a year. Your victim cannot get up a wordy war with a Populist paper; he may at first curse tbe Infernal rag as an anarchist publication, but right down In bis gls zard be will be digesting the solid truths of Populism, sgalust wblcb bo can bring no logical argument to prove their falsity. Just baudle the convert gently, and he will aoon become (ac cording to his temperament) a holy white-eyed terror to his former party aasocla tes. Exchange. Reanlta of Class I-catalatlon. Is It not strange that a free countn like the United States bas more tenant farmers than England, Ireland, Scot land and Wales? Texas alone bas 80,- 245, while the remainder of tbe States combined have 6.0CO.75S. Class legis lation and tbe rule of the money power have produced these results In nbe past J 00 years. How long will K be till the people will sll be slaves? South ern Mercury. Herein Lie tbe lllffrrencs. Bimetalllsts believe that In a wa emergency the government should sav every dollar pwllle and use paper money. The gold lies believe that war Is their field for plunder, and are doing all In their jxtwer to burden the coun try with $4HW.O00.(XW of bonds, upon which they can feast while tbe common people fight the enemy. IXaboneaty la Kvldcnt. It shows that this administration Is dishonest wheu It uses sll Its Influ ence to get authority to Issue Interest bearing bonds and put the nation ia debt when United state treasury notes would answer all purpose and cost nothlng.-Sllver Kuigbt-Watch. man. Printed for Kick Loafer. The metropolitan dallies have become to voluminous, so stuffed and Inflated with wind and wortblesaness, that none bat professional loafers have time to wad through them. Bodto Miner-Index. Bonds Are Mill with Da. Booms are past, bonds fn'nr. Man KraavUn atar Cnpld in War Tlmea. SUPPOSE tbls gen eration thinks that war was grim-vls-aged all of tbe time. Not so. More love letters were exchanged during those four years, it Is safe to say, than during any previous four years of the country's history. At least tbree-fourtus of both armies blue and gray were composed of unmarried men. Probably nine-tenths of them had best girls up North and down South; maybe some of them had more than one. Showers of love letters were scattered from the armies erery week while the men were In camp. Thou sands of matches were concluded by these going and coming messages of lovexof brave boys and hopeful, hap py girls'. A handsome young fellow In a little Mississippi town was devotlnu Sunday evenings to an equally handsome young lady. Their Joyful hours were Inter rupted by the call for troops. The young man wanted to volunteer, and the young lady said volunteer the day the message reached tbelr town. A week later he was In a camp of Instruc tion. His regiment went to Virginia and became a part of Bea ureirard's force at Manassas. It played a promi nent part In the first great battle of the war. (It was called great then, but was only a skirmish compared with many that followed.) The Mlsslsslpplan was slightly wounded, but lu getting the scar bad shown such bravery that be was promoted to lieutenant. At the end of the Peninsula campaign, in 1802, at Malvern Hill, be was In command of bis company, a captain. At Antletam be was again wounded, and this time fell Into tbe bands of tbe Federals, re maining a prisoner until be was well enough to return to duty. One night, when the nurses and guards were not very watchful, be slipped away from the hospital at Frederick City, Md., found bia way to tbe Potomac River! broke tbe lock of a boat and rowed to the Virginia side, and two days later was with his regiment After Chsncellorsvllle and Gettys burg be was called borne to accept a commission as lieutenant colonel of an other regiment and given a five-day leave of absence. I supjiose that the young folks who read this story will be disappointed be- cause I do not go Into details In describ ing the meeting between these two Mississippi lovers. I can Imagine about how matters went with tbem and might tell a pretty story, but that Is not al lowable in a strictly matter of fact a true story. It can be said that tbe three or four days were all too few of hours to suit these young people, and that the parting was more difficult than that of over two years before. Then, m Hepterber, ly, they and the civilized world knew that a war between Amer bans was no play-spell; knew that It meant better fighting than bad ever before been seen on battlefields; knew tbe chances of life were few. With this knowledge stsring them In tbe face the young Isdy realized that her soldier lover might be parting with her for the last time, and be felt that be might be looking into ber lustrous brown eyes as he would never do again. But they parted, sbe waving ber handkerchief and smiling through tears; be looking tbe love be felt and the dauntless soldier that he was. If (Sod spares ray life until St Vsl- ptitlne'a day I shall be with you and we will lie married," wrote tbe roune- col. onH the week that Qea. Hood's army started bsck from Atlanta and Sher man started for tbe son. The Mississippi's command was In the actions from Atlanta to Nashville. At rrsngnn one or tbe most remarka ble battles of tbe whole war, where thirteen Confederate generals were klljed or wounded lx of them killed), Including that Intrepid soldier and lead er, r( Cleburne, the colonel was placed ia command of a brigade, tmi a rew nays later rommaaosd It at ths battle of Nashville. la too mtmsrsMi retreat from Nashville he was agafat slightly wounded and made a prisoner. A few days before bis capture be hsd received a commission as brigadier general. , Tbe General with other prisoners, wss taken to Nashville. Gen. John O. Parkhurst, who bad commanded t he Ninth Michigan and won promotion by getting close enough to tbe Oonfeder-1' ates to see and feel tbelr fighting quail-' ties, was provost marshal at that thaw,; and consequently bad charge of the4 prisoners. Some of tbe Confederate! officers wbo were taken before him bei bad met In battle, lie desired to makef It as pleasnt for tbem as possible; did not want to confine them-between the) walls. Tbe second dsy the prisoners were there Gen. Parkhurst Informed tbe general and field officers that ho would parole tbem give tbem an op-j portunlty to enjoy themselves wlthlai the city limits. All be wsnted la fJ turn wss that they report to blm every) evening. Each evening after that (lea.. Pnrkburst's headquarters were visited by a choice collection of .Southern gea-1 tlemen In uniform. When tbe provostj marshal was not too busy there would be an early day blue and gray camp-) fire. On more than one occasion a num., ber of Federal officers were Invited laj and the men wbo bad often tried to! demolish each other In battle sat at, card tables and enjoyed themselves la perfect peace "and safety. Such was: war sometimes. , After a pleasant game of cards onoj night a young fellow wearing tbe unl-j form of a Confederate brigadier gen eral lingered after tbe others had goaoj Gen. Parkhurst saw that something! was on his mind thst be was In trooy ble, and asked: "What's the matter. General? Is there anything I can do for your then tbe Confederate told Gen. Part hurst tbe story I have told you. i "This Is tbe beginning of February. General," said tbe Southerner. "St. Valen!ne's day Is not fsr away. That little woman at my home Is fondly loolw lng forward to that day. So am I, and wondering, all of tbe time, bow I can) avoid disappointing her. Up to the! present I bare not solved tbe problenu Can you and will you help roe out?" "Well, well, really I would delight to do so, but can't Just now see bow It caa be done without transgressing tbe rules; and regulations. General, we will bothj sleep over It to-night Call hero toj morrow afternoon. In tbe meantime I will bunt for a chance to prevent thai little woman and a certain Confederato general from a sorrowful disappoint ment." . , The next afternoon tbe two generate) had another meeting. 'I believe I can trust you implicitly. General," said Parkburst "You can, sir." v Then be handed the Confederate two passea. One read: "Pass Gen. Blank through tbe Union lines." Tbe other1 read: "Permit (Jen. Blank and wife) to pass the Union lines." There was a quiet wedding at the young lady's home on St. Valentine's day. and a week later the Confederato' and his bride came throngh the lines a few miles from Nashville. Gen. Park-' hurst gave the young couple a recep tion. As Gen. Blank and wife entered) the room tbe groom exclaimed: "Here we are, Gen. Parkhurst oa' time according to promise." t "I congratulate both of you with all my heart" "And I thank you, Gen. Parkbursty with all my heart ' said the bride, and: then made tbe Michigan soldier a pris oner long enough to plump a klca on his1 lips. Gen. Blank has served bis district la Congress several times. J. A. Watrooa,' In Chicago Times-Herald. Troabls Is His Specialty. "I tblnk I will enlist even If I am too old,," taM a Missouri man who wag, In a crowd that was waiting for to a Cuban news. "I never could keep out, of trouble. As my wife used to aa if J my specialty. When tbe dvU war broke out I was a Constitutional Union many until we came to the conclusion that tbe Constitution wasn't worth a cent Then I sidled over to tbe Confederato side, put up some money for tbe boys ' and helped them to the front About a year after, when we beard tbe South was calling for men, my wife said an reckoned I ought to go, and I got ready The night before I was to go a squad of Federals arrested me and I was taken' to tbe guardhouse and kept there a' week. I was finaly paroled, but In or-( der to get my liberty I bad to furnish, bonds and to take the oath of .11 glance, as well as ths Drake-Rodman oath, which no man could take without perjury. "I Wed to attend to business, but somehow I devoted more time reading Pomeroy's Democrat and Pat Donan's Caucasian than I did to my own af fairs. "Along toward tbe close of the war' tbe Government ordered a draft and nearly every man in tbe town suddenly became nearsighted or had some In- capacitating ailment One day I rW celved notification to call at the Cap tarn's office, ami there I was Informed that I bad been drafted and wan ro-f quired to report for examination. Out of six men In my end of tbe town I waa tbe only one that pleased tbe examln-r lng surgeon. He aald I was ths floss specimen of physical manhood h beheld. For the first Urns la my life envied crosa-eyed men and bunohbacksj "I explained that I was not sufflcleaM ly loyal to make a good Union soldier.. But I waa Informed that I could And a substitute who would be. Itwasa tlms when substitutes were active and la demand. And when I at last found otW wbo waa acceptable It coat mo g800. i "Aalde from wanting to fight, aari way, I shall enlist If they wUl tako mtj tor If I don't tb.yil gat mo later, if not one aide, oa the other." If man has hone knew whsa to say