ALL GRAIN RATES CO UP.
AN ADVANCE OF TWO AND ONE
HALF CENTS.
j
Morgan and U. P. Affair--Lottery
Mail Under the Ban Chinese
Must Show Papers Englishmen
Want the Union Pacific.
I
Chicago, 111., Oct. 19. AH rail rates
from Chicago to the Atlantic seaboard
on grain and grain products have been
advanced 2V4 cents. It was the Inten
tion of the eastern roads to advance the
lake and rail rates also, but the Soo line
refused to participate in the advance,
and therefore the lake and rail rates
will remain as they are until the close
Of navigation.
It was reported here that the action
Of the Hoo In refusing to advance the
rates was due to the resentment over
the fact that the roads east of Chicago
declined to participate In the recent ad
vance on flour from St Louis and Min
neapolis to Chicago.
MORGAN AND U. P. AFFAIRS.
The Railroad Company Executed a
Deed to His Firm.
New York, Oct. 19. The report of W.
D. Cornish, who was appointed as
special master to take the testimony in
the suit of J. Pierpont Morgan and
others, as trustees, against the Union
Pacific Kallroad company, Frederick
Coudert and others, as receivers, was
confirmed Friday by Judge Laeombe of
thhe United States circuit court.
The report of Special Master Cornish
States that on September 4. 1891, the
Union Pacific Kallroad company exe
cuted a deed of trust to the firm of
Drexel, Morgan & Co., as trustees, to
provide for the payment of the prin
cipal and Interest notes, and deposited
with that firm certain bonds, stocks amd
other securities.
Collateral notes to the amount of
118,719,000 were issued, payable August
1, 1894, with Interest at 6 per cent.
Drexel, Morgan & Co., it is stated In the
report, sold from time to time certain
of these securities, and with the moneys
received redeemed collateral notes to
the aggregate value of 115,527,000.
LOTTERY WAIL DON'T CO.
Postofflce Department to Prevent
Its Delivery.
"Washington, D. C, Oct. 19. In con
junction with the treasury department,
Postmaster Gary has taken steps to en
force the prohibition In the tariff act
against the importation of obscene and
lottery matter.
The attorney general has Issued In
structions to postmasters that where
mich matter Is found in the mall un
sealed It should be treated as unmail
able, and sent to the dead letter office.
When It Is under seal, and the post
master suspects lottery or obscene mat
ter, he Is directed to label the packages
"supposed to contain matter In viola
tion of the act of July 16, 1895," and to
forward the packages to the ofllces of
destination.
If dutiable matter is found It will be
confla?ated by the treasury; If other ob
jectionable matter Is contained, the
postofllce department will confiscate it.
A CELESTIAL ROUND-UP.
Kansas City Chinese Must Show
Their Papers.
Kansas City, Mo., Oct. 39 All the
Chinese In the city who could be found
were rounded up and brought to the
federal building at the instance of W.
H. Chamberlain, a special employe of
the treasury department, who arrived
In Kansas City recently.
The desire was to ascertain If any of
the celestials were here In violation of
the exclusion act of 1893. The police
brought In between ninety and 100 of
the foreigners.
All save elevon produced papers
showing that they had been In tlx?
country before the act was enacted
and they were released. The eleven
were held for further examination.
The recent shipment through Seattle
cf a large crowd of Chinese laborers
was the direct cause of the Investiga
tions, says Mr. Chamberlain.
TO BID FOR THE U. P.
English Capitalists will Try to Se
cure the Road.
Chicago, Til., Oct. 19. It Is reported
that a syndicate of English capitalists
will file next week a $5,000,000 bond with
the master In chancery who has charge
of the Union Pacific foreclosure sale,
with the view of becoming a bidder for
the property at that sale. This syndi
cate. It Is further stated, is ready to
show the reorganization committee a
keen contest for the property.
Arrangements have been made by the
Kansas City, Pittsburg Oulf road
with the Atlantic and Mexican Gulf
Steamship company for two steamers
each month between Port Arthur, Tarn
pIco. Vera Cruz and Progresso. Ne
gotiations are In progress for the estab
lishment of regular service between
Port Arthur and Europe.
The Fever Scare.
New Orleans, La., Oct. 19. The early
morning fever reports are rather of an
encouraging nature. There had been no
deaths during the night and the new
cases were fewer.
Several of the parishes have quaran
tined St. Mary parish, because there
have been two or three cases there. No
more certificates, for the present, will
be Issued for Camp Muton. The camp
Is not yet entirely finished and until Its
facilities are increased It cannot handle
a larger colony than It has at present.
The civil district courts here are not
to open until the 2d of November, owlng
to the prevalence of fever.
Student Injured by Hazers.
Boulder, Colo., Oct. 19. DeCalb Well
man, a new student In the preparatory
school of the Boulder university, has
been seriously Injured by being tossed
in a blanket by older students.
Wellman struck on the back of his
bead and shoulders with great force on
the ground, paralysing the upper part of
his body. Physicians think he will live,
but say he will have a serious curva
ture of the spine.
The Injured boy Is the son of a mer
chant In this city, Citizens are very In
dignant over the manner In which he
was treated, and demand that hazing at
th university be summarily stopped.
A Fatal Duel.
Macon. Oo., Oct. 19. Constable Will
iam Timba and Barker Amos, colored,
fought a desperate duel yesterday
afternoon at the home of Amos, about
two miles from Powersvllle. As a re
sult both men are dead. Young Tlmbs
was only 27 years of age and was very
popular. There Is much excitement.
Colonel Thomas H. Hanks, sged 74
years, one of the best known and
wealthiest politicians In Kentucky, died
t Lawrenceburg, Ky., of liver trouble,
ftftar lingering Illness.
LEADER OF WASHINGTON'S 4GO
Wlfeof the Vice President Occupies
that Position.
"Washington, P. C, Oct. 17. Social
life at the nation's capital Is supposed
to radiate around the wMte bouse, and
as the largest factor In social Hilars
the women, the woman of the white
bouse is nearly always the directress
of the Washington 400.
Mrs. McKlnley, as Is well known, i
not able to bear the physical fatigues
of these duties, and tbey naturally
fall to the lot of the wife of the vice
president, Mrs. Garret A. Hohart. Mrs.
Hobart's health has not been of the
best during the summer, but her
friends hope to see her able to take her
seat on the social throne when the
president's New Year's reception of
ficially opens the season of balls, re
ceptions dinners, luncheons and teas.
Mrs. Hobart Is a handsome, well
formed woman and is somewhat
younger than he distinguished hus
band. Her New Jersey home has been
a model one in every respect, yet she
has always found time to take an ac
tive part In society. She has that
charm and grace of manner that
springs from the heart and bears no
suggestions of the arts of the profes
sional conversationalist. Women are
very fond of her and she has a coterie
of young lady friends whose admira
tion almost amounts to idolatry.
Mrs. Hobart's young son has already
set the stamp of his approval on bis
mother's approaching social promi
nence by taking first place among
Washington's official youngsters after
a short but decisive contest with the
10-year-old son of John R. McLean,
the newspaper and gas millionaire It
was over the presidency of a small boy
golf club, and young Hobart landed
himself In the executive chair.
PALACE CARS MAKING MONEY.
Pullman Palace Car Company De
clares a Dividend.
Chicago, 111., Oct. 18 The annual
meeting of the stock holders of the
Pullman Palace Car company held
heret represented over 124,000,000 of
the capital stock.
Directors George M. Pullman, Mar
shall Field. J. W. Doane, Norman Wil
liams and O. S. A. Sprague of Chicago;
Henry C. Hulbert of New York and
Henry R. Reed of Boston, were re
elected. The annual quarterly dividend of $2
per share, payable November 15, was
declared.
The income of the company from
earnings of cars was 17,743,344. In
come from other sources swelled the
total receipts of the company during
the last fiscal year to $8,974,888. The
disbursements for this year, Including
$2,800,000 paid In dividends, were $7.
204,037, leaving a surplus for the. year
of $1,770,851. The number of cars
owned and controlled Is 2,428, of which
2,103 are- standard and 325 tourlHt, or
second class cars.
The number of passengers carried
during the year was 4,852,398, and the
number of miles run was 190,562,758.
During the previous year the number
of passengeni carried was 5,112,905,
and the number of miles run was 191,
862,947. The value of the manufactured pro
duots of the car works of the company
for the yar wj $4,205,251, and of
other industries, including rentals,
$476,366, making a total of $4,681,617,
against $7,704,938 for the previous
year.
"GENTLEMAN CEORCE"TOURING
Assistant Secretary of War Takes
a Trip West.
"Washington, D. C, Oct. 18. Assis
tant Secretary of War MelkleJobn left
here Thursday night on a tour of in
spection of military posts in the west.
The assistant goes direct to St.
Louis, where he will inspect the post
of Jefferspn barracks and visit the site
for a rifle range for the Jefferson bar
racks troops, which has been offered
for sale to the government.
The next stop will be at Fort Lea
venworth. Mr. Mejiklejohn will visit
Omaha, where the headquarters of the
Platte are located, and inspect Fort
Crook.
Before returning to Washington he
expects to Inspect the department of
the Dakotas, Columbia, California and
lntwtne:i Ue posts and stations en
route, which can be inspected con
veniently, It being the purpose of the
assistant secretary to familiarize him
self as fully as possible with army life
and some of the more important mat
ters that come before bim for official
action.
Before returning to the war depart
ment Mr. Mellklejohn intends to visit
his home in Nebraska for thepurposeof
attending to some private affairs that
demand his consideration and to cast
his vote at the coming election in that
state.
Still Fixing Up School Lands.
Chadron, Neb., Oct. 18. Hon. J. V.
Wolfe of Lincoln was busy all day
leasing school lands here Thursday,
where the old leases had been cancelled
for non-payment of rent.
By Mr. Wolfe's system of leasing
lands the revenue to the state from this
county will be more than doubled.
Heretofore a speculator would secure a
lease on a large tract of land, make
one payment and then aslgn the lease
to some irresponsible party and while
continuing to use the land, would
ever pay the annual rental.
Mr. Wolfe has cancelled all these
leases and let the land to actual resi
dents, who will not only use the land,
but pay for it. He was advertised to
speak In the court house this evening,
but having received a message from
Lincoln to go at once to Hastings on
official business, the meeting was not
beld.
Senator Allen's Appointments.
Lincoln, Neb., Oct. 18. The follow
ing apoplntmcnts for speeches by Sen
ator W. V. Allen have been made by
the populist state central committee:
Orand Island, October 18, 2 p. in; Al
liance, October 19, 2 p. m.; Hemlng
ford, October 19, 7:80 p. m.; Crawford,
October 20, 2 p. m.; Chadron, October
20, 7:30 p. m.; Rushvllle, October 21,
2 p. m.; Hay Springs, October 21,7:30 p.
m.; Valentine, October 22, 2 p. m.;
Alnsworth, October 22, 8 p. m.; O'Neill,
October 23, I p. m.; B as sett, October
S3, I p. m.; WaAoo, October 25, S p.
m.; Lincoln, October 26, I p. m.
A CONSPIRACY UHEARTHD.
THE WAY BIG CORPORATIONS
GET INTO FEDERAL COURT.
Every Subterfuge Known to Men Is
Being Utilized to Defy the Laws
of Nebraska Seeking Refuge in
the Federal Courts.
Lincoln. Neb., Oct. 11- Attorney
General Smyth has file 1 a.i aiuwar bc
f re Judges Munger in the Unir.l States
ccurt in tue case wherein the South
Omaha stock yards has sue 1 oat an
injunction against ths enforcement f
tbt new lav relating vo the fees to be
charged by the stock yard compani?.
The attorney general charges in his
answer that a conspiracy exists be
tween the South Omaha Stock yar4s
company and the man who is sup
posed to be the plaintiff in the case.
This figurehead plaintiff is a man by the
name of Greenllff W. Simpson, who
claims he is a resident of Massachu
setts, and that he is a non-resident
stockholder in the Union Stock Yards
company. He begun proceedings in
the United States court some time age
wherein he alleged that the Atterney
General of Nebraska and the officers
of the stock yards company were about
to put into force rates for handing,
yarding, loading, unloading and feed
ing stock at those yards In accordance
with the law passed by the last legis
lature. Mr. Simpson submitted as proof
of his claim that the officers of the
stock yards company were going to
obey the law a lot of letters
and copies of proceedings of
the board of directors of the
company. Mr. Simpson alleges
that the rates fixed by the law were In
sufficient to pay a reasonable profit on
the property and investment of the
stockholders, and attacked' the consti
tutionality of the act itself. Simpson
asked for an injunction to restrain the
defendants from putting into force the
act of the legislature and the schedule
of charges fixed therein.
The case came on for hearing be'ore
.Tuc'ga Munger, on the application for
the injunction, and last week he
granted the order and issued a tempor
ary injunction, with the provision that
testimony should be presented on some
points raised before the final determiu
tlon of the case and the dissolution of
the Injunction or making It permanent.
The case stood in this condition
when Attorney General Smyth filed his
answer. He alleges that the man from
Massachusetts and his allegations
about a great Injury is about to be
done to non-resident stockholders in
the Union Stock Yards company, and
that the officers of that company werti
about to put into force the rates as
required by the law passed by the lust
legislature, and that lnter-state com
merce laws were about to be violated
the letter writing and the workings
of the board of directors of the com
pany that it all formed a conspire :y
for the purpose of getting into n
federal court, which would not other
wise have jurisdiction.
The attorney general sets out that
during the session of the last legisla
ture the president and general manag r
of the stock yards company spent sev
eral months at Lincoln endeavoring to
induce the legislature to not pass this
act, and after It was passed the officers
and stockholders endeavored to per
suade the governor to veto It, and af
ter Is was signed and became a law tbs
president of the company, W. A. Pax
ton, repeatedly declared that it would
never be enforced; that it would be
wiped off the statute books and that
the company would do everything In
its power to prevent Its enforcement.
That the Letters of the plaintiff and
the alleged procedlngs of the board of
directors of the stock yards company,
which are set out in the plaintiff's bill
as an evidence that the officers were
going to put the rates in force, were
not written nor done In good faith, but
as a part of a scheme wall understood
between the plaintiff and the company
whereby a fraud was to be perpetrated
upon the court and whereby jurisdic
tion was to be conferred, in violation
of law.
The attorney general denies that the
stock yards company will enforce the
act of the legislature If not restrained
or that it will pay any attention to the
law, but that the suit is a friendly one
between Simpson and the company, In
which the company seeks to transfer
the controversy from the legislature,
where it was beaten, to the federal
court. All of which 4s pleaded and set
up as a reason why the federal court
has no jurisdiction to hear and deter
mine the questions at issue.
The answer in denial of the residence
of Simpson in Massachusetts tnd that
the matter in controversy Is of the
value of $2,000. A specific denial of that
portion of the bill which alleges that
the "yards are now worth more than
$6, 000, 000, and that twice that sum now
expended would not replace the plant
and secure the business Is now has."
The answer alleges that the connection
made by the yards with the ralroads,
as set upln the bill, was for the bene
fit of the railroads tnd a source of
made by the yards with railroads,
hauled large quantities of stock to
these yards.
The statements of the bill as to the
lands In the neighborhood of the
yards; the allegation that the yards
and the railway companies connected
are engaged In inter-state commerce,
are all specifically denied for the pur
pose of compelling the plaintiff to make
proof, It is denied that the act of the
legislature resulting the rates at the
stock yards Interferes with Inter-statu
commerce or that It deprives th plain
tiff and other stockholders of their
property rights without due proceec of
law or that It denies to them equal pro
tection of the law. It Is denied that
the charges fixed by the law are far
below such as will yield Just and
reasonable compensation to the own
ers. On almost every part of every al
legation made by tbe plaintiff the at
torney general enters bis dental, whloh
will compel the plaintiff to Vrore the
same.
FlCHTINC TWENTY-FIVE Y E ARB.
Longest and Strangest War of the
Present Century.
Not long ago the following cable
Item was flashed over the world: "A
despatch from Achin, Sumatra, Dutch
East Indies, says that in a fight at
Segll yesterday a hundred and eleven
Achlnese wer killed. The Dutch lost
one man killed and had twenty-two
wounded." That was all, and very few
who read tbe few lines understood
what the Dutch were fighting about
and who these belligerent Achlnese,
their opponents, are.
As a matter of fact, the war of which
this battle was an Incident is one of
the most remarkable struggles ever
carried on in any part of the world. It
Is the longest war of the century, for
the fighting has been carried on prac
tically without a break for no less than
twenty-five years. It has cost Holland
her best blood, and in money has neces
sitated an expenditure of seventy mil
lion gulden a year nearly ten millions
of dollars and from present appear
ances it bids fair to drag along In
definitely, for the Achlnese simply snap
their fingers at their would-be conquer
ers, and leave the climate to kill those
their weapons leave untouched.
These Achlnese occupy the northern
and most mountainous end of the is
land of Sumatra. They are a dark
pkinned, tall and hardy race, who con
sider that they have a right to retain
possession cf their native country in
spite of treaties made without their
consent, consigning them to the tender
mercies of Europeans; and for a full
quarter of a century they have suc
ceeded in proving themselves entirely
capable of enforcing that right. The
farce of Dutch possession of the terri
tory began in 1872, when Great Britain,
with characteristic shrewdness, suc
ceeded in palming off Sumatra on the
Hollanders In exchange for certain
rather visionary rights claimed by the
Dutch In Ashanti and on the ?old coast
of Africa. John Bull didn't charge the
Dutch very much for Sumatra; but if
the latter nation had paid John a few
hundreds of millions to retain his pre
cious East Indian possession they
would have been considerably in pock
et, and many thousands of their citi
zens might now be alive, insteic" of oc
cupying neglected graves in the deadly
fever jungles of Sumatra.
The Dutch fondly imagined, when
John Bull so generously gave them
these happy hunting grounds, that all
they had to do was to step ashore and
take possession. That was twenty-five
years ago, and they are still stepping
ashore and staying there for the most
part. The fever fiend has no terrors
fot the natives, but proceeds to exter
minate the troops sent from Holland
with a merciless hand. It is a fact that
ir. one campaign recently, seventy out
of one hundred of the Dutch soldiers
were killed by the climate before they
could engage In battle. These twenty
five years of warfare have cost the
Dutch, excluding the untold loss in hu
man lives, a heavy deficit in their
colonial budget every year, the humil
Irtion of having to abandon all hope of
expanding their colonial possessions in
the East Indias, and a loss of prestige
that has made their name a laughing
stock in the east
The Dutch have tried many expe
dients to subjugate the Achlnese, but
neither diplomacy or bullets have been
of the slightest effect. When It wa3 ad
mitted by slow-going Mynheers, after
a score of years of unsuccessful war
fare, that the troops of the Netherlands
were of little use in campaigns against
the islanders, they tried to starve them
lntc submission by establishing a
blockade. But the hardy mountaineers
paid but little heed to the stoppage of
their supplies of tobacco, opium and
spirits. They had played a waiting
game too long to be disturbed by trifles.
They merely retired to the Jungle,
whither they knew well the Dutchmen
would not dare to follow, and left the
climate to do the rest. In the far east,
It may be noted, the climate does not
often disappoint those who rely on it
ae an engine of warfare.
In Holland many excuses have been
made for the length of the campaign.
A Hollander who Is quite unprejudiced
said recenty: "The whole fact of the
matter Is that the Achinese was Is kept
going for political purposes. In the
first place, It provides a means where
by obnoxious members of the military
force can be quietly eliminated. If a mil
itary man Is indiscrete enough to of
fend the party in power in the Nether
lands, he is shipped off to Achln, where,
if he escapes death at the hands of the
natives he is sure to be carried off by
the climate. Another way In which the
Ir.ng war is found useful, at least to
those who stay at home. Is that a con
stant stream of supplies is necessary for
carrying it on, and many thus have an
opportunity to get rich at the expense
of the government. It is ridiculous to
suppose that the war could have con
tinued for twenty-five years, beating all
th war records of the century, had the
Dutch been determined to bring it to
a close. As a matter of fact, the stay-at-homes
do not want It to end. It is
far too useful to them.
"If successes are gained they will not
be followed up. The military comman
ders will be Instructed to leave the rest
to the admirals of the fleets which are
blockading the Island, and the latter
will continue their asinine cotirsa of
keeping from the Achlnese the supplies
which they get along very well without.
The best thing for the Dutch to do
would be to give upthe stupid fight and
lrave the Achlnese alone; but this they
will never do as long as there are ob
noxious men to be gotten rid of at
home and contractors with govern
ments pulls to fatten at the expense of
the Holland soldiers."
So, In all probability, the war In Su
matra will outlast the century, and the
fable will go on recording from time to
time a victory for the Dutch forces or
a fr.rh raid of the daring and appar
ently Invincible Achlnese.
An armed government vessel inside
of St. Andrew's sound, Georgia, sud
denly steamed out to sea under full
speed and shortly afterward came a
report of cannotadlng. The presump
tion is that the cruiser sighted a sup
posed filibuster and fired upon ber.
The mangled remains of William H.
Rtttenhour, a Journeyman tailor, aged
60 years, was found In the Chicago ft
Alton yards at Bloomlngton, III. It Ii
supposed he was killed while trying to
board ft freight train.
A TALE OF TWO JOKERS.
Py Charles H. Lewis.
It used to be tbe firm of Baker &
White, but Baker purchased White
interest in tbe firm, and then the sign
read, "John 11. Haker." it was Just af
ter this change bad taken place that
1 was made head clerk, and that
a stranger named Charlts William
Thompson appeared in the town of
Greendale. Our business was that of
a general store, and Mr. Baker was the
owner of a big woolen mill in tbe town.
The rear end of the store, with an en
trance on a side street, was divided off
and rented to the government as a
postofflce, and there was a door com
municating from the store. Mr. Baker
bad a large safe, and in this the post
master kept his spare funds and
stamps. We had three clerks and a
bookkeeper, and it was rare that any
of us had an idle hour.
Mr. Baker was a jolly, good-natured
man of middle age, who dearly loved
a joke. People used to say that his
bearty laugh was as good as a tonic.
Mr. Thompson arrived in Greendale
one afternoon to search out some
long lost relatives. He was also jolly
and good natured and middle-aged. By
the laws of magnetism it was perfectly
natural for the two to come together
and joke and laugh. This was just
what happened. They liked each so
well at first sight that Mr. Thompson
forgot all about his lost relatives, and
Mr. Baker lost an hour out of the
busiest part of the day. However, as
he got ready to leave the store that
evening he called me Into his private of
fice and said:
"Charles, you saw a Mr. Thompson
in the store this afternoon?"
"Yes, sir."
"He's a stranger in town looking
up some relatives. Very nice man
ha! ha! ha! Tells a very funny
story, and It does me good to hear him
laugh. You heard us laughing, didn't
you, Charles?"
"Yes, sir."
"Yes um. Well, you may like Mr.
Thompson, and you may laugh and
also make him laugh, but you keep
your eye on him just the same. He's
a very jolly man, but I've got an idea
that he can be very serious on occa
sions. There are times when one's
safe holds sums of money, and Mr.
Thompson may covet these greenbacks.
Laugh with him, my boy, but watch
him at the same time."
Mr. Thompson soon began dropping
into the store in an off-hand way and
making small purchases as an excuse
to get a general look about and engage
the different clerks in conversation. He
appeared to "take to" me as much as
he did to Mr. Baker, and to make a
dead set to win my favorable opinion.
As a matter of fact, he could beat any
drummer on the road telling a story,
and all his conundrums were new and
full of surprises. But for Mr. Baker's
words of caution I should have taken
the man as he evidently wanted' me to,
and after a week should not have hes
itated to scat him alone in the office.
As it was, I laughed with him, but
kept my eyes open, and after a few
days I thought his object in dropping
into the store was to get a close look
at our big safe. The safe had a com
bination lock set on four letters and
changed every few weeks, and only
two of us had the word. At this time
the word was "Jose." After a few
days, and one day soon , after Mr.
Thompson had spent half an hour in
the office with Mr. Baker, the latter
called me in to ask:
"Well, Charles, do you find our Mr.
Thompson a very agreeable man?"
"Yes, sir," I replied.
"Tells a very funny story in a very
funny way ha! ha! ha! Never re
peats hiEiaelf, and never gets off any
thing old. Makes you laugh, doesn't
he?"
"Yes, sir."
"Yes, of course ha! ha! ha! How
ever, keep your eye on him just the
same. I think he comes in here to
look at the safe, rather than to joke,
and I'm giving him every change to
inspect it. I think he will invite you
to pass an evening with him pretty
soon, and if so you had better accept.
Laugh with him, Charles laugh as
hard as you can but at the same time
be on your guard. The funny Mr.
Thompson ha! ha! ha!"
Mr. Thompson had the best room at
the best hotel. It came to pass that he
Invited me to spend an evening with
him, and had some cake and wine, and
song ti.nd story, and I never enjoyed
myself better. By and by, as we laugh
ed and joked, Mr. Thompson turned
the conversation to orthography and
its blunders, and it came to pass that
he asked me to write down twenty
words of four letters each. I wrote
"John," "Dash." "Hope," Bill," and
enough others to make up the twenty,
but I did not write "Jose." Mr. Thomp
son knew that the safe was set on
four letters. In asking me to write
down twenty words of four letters
each he might reasonably count on my
writing tbe safe word. I might have
done so, except for Mr. Baker's cau
tion. "Yes, Charles, he was after the
word ha! ha! ha!" laughed my em
ployer next day when I related the in
cident. "Mr. Thompson is a very funny
man, but I think we are funnier than
he is. Feeling quite sure that one of
the twenty words is the word that
he is after, bis next move will be to get
Into the store some night and make a
try for the contents of the safe. We
must laugh, Charles we must keep
on laughing with the funny Mr.
Thompson bu we must also keep
right on watching him ha! ha! ha!"
Our general custom was to keep the
store open until nine o'clock at night,
and the postofflce also held to that
hour. Then the bookkeeper would go,
and he would be followed by the clerks,
and It was my duty to hang on until
about nine, so as to be the last man
rights before leaving. By and by, to
wards the laBt of tbe month, the funny
Mr. Thompson began dropping In
about Inle, so as to be the last man
to go. On two evenings he detained
me till 10 o'clock telling stories, and as
I began to get suspicious of his inten
tions, I sought advice of Mr. Baker.
"Ah! that funny Mr. Thompson ha!
ha! fca!" ! .nghed my employer, as he
leaned back and rubbed his hands.
"His time is drswlag very near. As
near as I can figure it his game will
be this: On the night of the 30th he
will manage to be the last one In the
store with you. As you are ready to
go he will seize and bind and gag you
and then go for the safe. It will be
very funny, Charlea hal ha! bat"
"But I dont see It, sir!" I protest.
"iMm't you ? Well, you go rtajbt
along and lethim carry out bis plan.
If you don't fight Lack be won't hurt
you. We will play a little Joke on th
Jokeful Mr. Thompson."
On the afternoon of the 30th Mr.
Thompson dropped in and passed Jokea
with Mr. Baker for half an hour, and
we beard a great deal of l&ughter la
the private office. At eight o'clock 1
the evening the postmaster bad about
$2,000 in our safe, and the amount al
together was about $22,000. It was av
dark and rainy evening, and there
were so few customers in tbe store
that I let the clerks go home early.
At nine o'clock, as I expected an
counted on, Mr. Thompson arrived. It
was a walk of five blocks from hi
hotel, and he would not have com'
out in the rain except that be was ex
pecting important letters. He got.
none, and the postofflce closed after hi
inquiry. As he came through th
store I was all alone, and there was
no doubt in my mind that he was
pleased to find things thus. He took
a seat on tbe counter and began smok
ing and asking me to guess conun
drums, and at half-past nine o'clock
tbe streets were quiet and the hour
had arrived for bim to show bis hand
I sat in a chair facing him and only
a few feet away. Of a sudden, and?
while he was smiling and laughing, he
put his hands on the counter an
leaped forwards and landed full upon
me. I was carried backwards to the
floor, and be had bis hand on my
throat and his knee on my breast be
fore I could put out a finger.
"Be quiet and sensible, now!" h
cautioned. I am Mr. Thompson. Some
times I am funny sometimes not.
There is no funny business about this.
If you keep uiet I shan't hurt you.
If you don't I'll use you might hough!""
I had no idea of struggling withv
bim. He took from his pocket pieces,
of rope and bound my arms and my
ankles, and when he had finished, said;
"I am after the money in the safe,,
of course, and of course I shall get it
It will save time and trouble, how
ever, if you will give me the word
If you are obstinate about it I may
have to hold a lighted match under
your nose."
I refused him any answer, and af
ter a minute he passed into the pri
vate office and began working at. th
safe. I could hear but not see hlm
He saw that all the doors were locked
before he let me, and on suck a night
as that be had little fear of being;
disturbed. He took the list of twenty
words I bad given bim and started ia.
on the combination. He had tried
eight of them when Mr. Baker and.
two policemen suddenly rose up from,
behind a screen, each with a pistol ins.
hand, and Mr. Baker caleld out in.,
great good nature: ,
"Ah, there, you funny Mr. Thomp
son, but this Is an unexpected pleas
ure! I was just dying to hear one of
your funny stories, but I hardly
thought you'd call at such a late
hour!" Mr. Thompson was Btruck dumbs:
for a moment, but he was a man of"
cheek as well as of humor, and, after
catching his breath, he answered:
"That you, Baker? ha! ha! ha! Did
you ever hear the story of the man
who dreamed he was a horse?"
"No, never did. If you are feeline
well tomorrow cocme around) and telL
it. I knw it must be funny ha! hal
ha! Were you trying to work that
combination?" "Why, yes, I was trying, but hav
had no luck. You seem to bare ex
pected me here tonight."
"Yes, ha! ha! ha! Say, Thompson,
doesn't the situation strike you a
rather funny?"
"Yes, devilish funny ha! ha! ha!"""
"Same here. I shall miss you mor
than I can tell. If you have time be
fore you go to state prison, I wish yon
would write me out a few of your beet.
Jokes. The one you were telling me
yesterday was a regular corfcer be!"
ha! ha!"
And for a quarter of an hour more
the two continued to joke each otherv
while one of the policemen came out:
into the store and released me. E
didn't feel ver mirthful over the af
fair, but Mr. Baker slapped me on th
back and exclaimed:
"Charles, my boy, you mustn't hold?
any spite against Mr. Thompson. He's?
a very funny man, and if he could?
only stay in Greendale a few weeks
longer I'd get fat laughing over hi
Jokes ha! ha! ha! Say, Thompson,
tell him the story of the old maid and.
the goblin ha! ha! ha!"
"I I don't feel as funny as usual,,,
for some reason," replied Thompson.
"The fact is, I think I've got myself"
boxed up."
"Yes, just so," replied Mr. Baker.
"I don't suppose any funny man cub
feel funny when he's boxed up. If yon
haven't any more jokes to relate th
police may walk you over to the cal
aboose." The funny Mr. Thompson took his
dose like a man. He had played his
hand and lost, and he was not the man
to kick about it. He attempted no de
fense, but said he was probably walk
ing in his sleep. He received a sen
tence of seven years, and before he
was taken away Mr. Baker went to thee
Jail to see him and say:
"Well, Thompson, any new Jokes or
conundrums before you are off? haf
hal ha!"
"Nothing today," was the reply.
"Say, we used to swap some mighty
good things, didn't we? ha! ha! bar
Hang it. I wish you were going along:
with me."
"And we'd keep each other laughlngr
from morning till night. Sorry t
can't, but I'll see you seven years laterr
and we'll have lots of fun."
And it is the solemn truth that two
flays after Mr. Thompson left prison
he called at the store and visited wlth
Mr. Baker for two or three hours, and'
they slapped each other on the back
and laughed until their sides aches
with tbe exertion.
In an encounter between Noah Rey
nolds and Jerry Leverett, white, on
one side, and a dozen infuriated ne
groes on the other, at Paris, Tex..
Leverett was probably fatally Injured
and Reynolds was badly used up. Ser-:
eral of the negroes were slightly In
jured. Pour arrests have been mader
and others are to follow. J
The executive committee of the But
ter, Eggs and Poultry Shippers' asso
ciation will be present at the next
meeting of tbe Joint Traffic association ',
to preM their demand for a carload J
rate.