The Sioux County journal. (Harrison, Nebraska) 1888-1899, October 14, 1897, Image 3
VOUNQ WOMEN READ THI9. To B In Thi Vir You Must Own an Old-Fashioned btoc.k. To be considered a thoroughly up-to-date young woman it Is necessary u wu tbU season (in old-fashioned Block, witn a genuine Empire ruilie. It must look as if It had been made for George Washington instead of the f?ohloiiu.Ma girl of "Jl. The stock must le very high, and the ruflie most conspicuous. It can La bought in plaid, silk or sheer lawn, and is considered one of the special novelties of the autumn. The stock, after being wound round the neck, is then tied in a smart bow in front. This novelty not only forms a collar, but a chemisette, and Is worn by the tailor made girl as well as the young woman who is partial to quaint poko bonnets and big old-faRhioned muffs. It is one of James McCreery's latest creations. But it Is not only this high stock with the Empire ruilie that the fashion able girl must wear this autumn. It is required of her that she own a large collection of neck-ties and collars. And great is the variety for her to select from. If she wishes to be Just a little the atrical there is the Vesta Tllley scarf, fresh from London. All the Johnnies will wear it. as well as the tailor-made girls. The most remarkable thing about It Js that It 13 made from a piece of old Paisley shawl. This was Vesta Til ley's own Idea. However, It can be made from silk in the Paisley design and colors If one so wishes. Then it must be remembered that there is a special way of wearing the Vesta Tllley scarf that gives it an add ed touch of novelty. It is In a four-in-hand, but the ends are left so long that they reach way below the waist line. The linen collar worn with this carf must be unusually high. But it Is not only Vesta Tilley that the fashionable young woman Is Imi tating so far as her neckwear is con cerned this season, but the venerable Mr. Gladstone. For among the latest novelties there Is the Gladstone collar, with its high cut points and an exact copy of the stock which he wears dally. It can be bough ready made In black satin, but can be made to order in any of the new fashioned Bhades. The gay colored Roman scarf is per haps the most popular necktie of the fall. It comes in a four-in-hand, to be tied the new way, and also in a string tie. The Roman silk four-ln-hands are most gorgeous affairs. They give Just the right touch of color to a sombre gown. They are made with a straight stiff collar of the silk, and the knot of the four-in-hand is tied just over the bust. The ends are long and flowing and through one of them a jeweled pin Is caught. This idea of pinning one end of the necktie to the bod Ire of the gown is a special fad of the hour. It is not so long ago that the pin which adorned a necktie was always thrust through the knot. Hut now that Is considered particularly bad form. The pin must never lie worn unless it holds one end of the scarf to the bodice. The Roman string tics look well with any shaped linen collar, but just at present they are being worn the most with the collar which has a turned over edge all the way round. With ninny of the handsome cos tumes tMs Hcaoon and with alrst all of the fashionable coats there are col lars so high at the back that they aro startlingly conspicuous. There are vel vet collar In an exaggerated Medici shape, which are covered with Jeweled lace and edged with fur. and then there are other collars reaching half way up the head at the back and made entirely of feathers. Many of these collars hide the ears from view, but they are all considered extremely fashionable. The broad mull necktie which made Its appearance late in the summer Is growing more and more popular. If ran lie bought this fall In soft llbertv silk and In moussellne de sole, with borders of lace applique. The bow is tied In the direct front and the ends pre unusually long. The jewelpd dog collar Is also In fa vor this season In cut steel and pearls If Is most effective over a high, smooth fitting collar of bright satin. Monopolies In Cermany. Among the odd things about official life in Germany are the monopolies that are granted for all sorts of busi ness. People have the exclusive priv ilege of doing things here that every body else has the right to do without permission in other countries. For ex ample, chimney sweeping Is a mo nopoly, and the man who controls it has to be paid for sweeping your chimney twice a year whether he sweeps it or not. You may employ somebody else, or you may not have your chimney swtpt at all, but he and he alone has the legal right to do the business, and he will call upon you eveiy spring and every autumn for his fees. He never does any work him self. He is an important and usually a wealthy individual, and in Nurem burg is said to enjoy a revenue of JT.noO a year from his privilege, Cut out of this total he is compelled to pay a gang of boys who do the sweep ing for him. The number of drug stores Is lim ited by law one to every 1,000 of pop ulationand they have to pay a heavy license to the city. Therefore they charge high prices for prescriptions and get rich. Oneofthe restrictions upon the drug business and It Is tin excellent provi sionrequires all durgs and medicines Intended for use Internally to be put up In round bottles. All drugs and rhemleals which are not used internally ns medicines must lie placed in hex agonal bottles. Thus It Is Impossible for any man who Is In his right; mind to poison himself by mistake. Origin of the Term Spinster. There arc few persons that have not looked Into the dictionary especial' who know how the term "spinster" or iginated. We often find It In Shakes peare and other of the English classics, but It Is not always used to define a spinner. This Is Its specific meaning. Its general significance is wider. There was an old practice, In the years agone, (hat a woman ihould never be marled until she had spun herself t sot of body, table and bed linen. It Is not difficult to use how easy the term be came applicable to all unmarried wo men, and finally became a law term nil dyed. K H W'Ft'-i AKHFS IN A TIN CAN Wantd to Sljuci i mm toth Four Wmd of Heavon, General John M. Wilson, thief of en pineirs, United States Army, whs sit ting In his office In the War Depart ment the other day when a person of very dubious aspect appeared In the doorway. It was a man, with clothing tattered and torn, a two weeks' beard, and carrying an ordinary tomota can In his hand. A tramp, obviously; the tomato can, accepted as the emblem of Weary Willie in the comic papers, leemed to settle It. But the general Is accessible to people of all ranks and conditions, and he bade the stranger walk in and tell his business. "I'm in hard luck,"said theman, sit ting down on the edge of a chair. As he did so he placed the tomato can on a corner of General Wilson's desk. The general assented, as much as to say that the confession was no sur prise to him. "I've been carrying thi 3 here can around for two weeks," added the stranger, indicalingthe receptacle with his thumb. "Indeed," said the general, raising his eyebrows slightly. "It contains the remains of my de ceased wife," the man continued, wip ing one eye with the frayed tail of his coat. "She was cremated a fortnight back." "You don't say so!" said the general, this' time really surprised, and looking doubtfully at the tomato can, as if he wished it somewhere else than on his desk. "Fact sir," replied the stranger. "And her last request was that the remains should be disposed of In some genteel manner. I couldn't afford an urn. You know, one can hire an urn at the cem etery, but Its awfully expensive. So I brought 'em around for two weeks for want of knowin' what to do with 'em. Now, I've decided, and I've come to ask for a permit." "A permit for what?" asked the gen eral. "To chuck 'em from the top of Washington Moritiment." said the man. "and scatter 'rm to the four winds of hpaven. That would be rather genteel, don't you think?" "I supose it would," assented the general, with a gasp. "They told me I'd have to come to yon for a permit," explained the stranger. "No. sir." responded General Wil son, decidedly. "You can get no such permit, here. The Washington Monu ment Is not intended for burial pur poses. Good day. sir ' The general said afterward: "Why, there was nothing In the world to pre vent the man from scattering a bucket ful as ashes from the monument if he wanted to do so. Hut if T granted a permit for such a thing, cranks from all over the counrty would lie coming hero to distribute the remains of their relatives from the fop of the marble shaft. It would never do, indeed." Flourishing Underground City. In Gallcia, In Austrian Poland, there is a remarkable underground city, which has a population of over 1,000 men, women and children, scores of whom have never seen the light of day It is known as the City of the Rait Mines, and is situated several hundred feet below the earth's surface. It has its town hall, theatre and assembly room, as well as a btautifulchurch, dec orated with statues, all being fashioned from the pure, crystallized rock salt. It has well graded streets and spacious squares, lighted with electricity. There are numerous Instances in this under ground city where not a single Individ ual in three or four successive genera tions has ever seen the sun or has any Idea of how people live In the light of day. Fashions For Little Glrle. Much gay Roman striped ribbon, ac cordion plaited. Is used on the various frocks for little girls. Besides the plaids the materials most in favor are the wool novelty goods and the pop lins, which are noted for their ex cellent wearing capacity. For young ladies of four and five there are very gorgeous silk coats this fall. One of the daintiest is made of cream white figured silk with a deep Bilk cape tr'ninied with grebe breasts. The dancing school dresses are of Liberty satin or white moussellne de sole over taffeta silk. They are trimm ed with dainty frills of Valenciennes lace, accordion plaited white gauze rib bon and insertion. Cedar Forests Being Used Up. Havoc Is being mado of the best cedar swamps in ttie country to supply the increasing demand of the long distance electric transmission plants and the po wr and lighting llnea, for poles. One firm handled 150.010 poles last vear, and has been making largo consignments to Buenos Ayres, South America and Canada, as well as ship ments to Texas. Utah and Colorado. The poles are rafted from the forest lakes In lots of 20,000, and lifted from the water by steam elevators. They are then sorted and placed In separate piles. Those which are not of high Etandard are used for fence posts, shingles, railroad tiest and paving blocks. Oldest Ensrllsh Business. Probably the oldest business In Eng land Is an ancient linen drapery con cern, which has been In existence since 1000. I'nder the title of the Sign of tihe C'roune, the Industry hun been carried on In the old town of Shefford in Bedfordshire, upward of 300 years, for more than half of which time it has been In the hands of a single family In an almost direct line. Since 1750 thlg ancient drapery shop has been un der the con'rol of Cator & Rons, who occupy the original buildings. Chinese Cotton Milt. An American manufactory his been Introduced into China In the form of the International cotton mill, recently established at Puotuug, a small town near Shanghai, under the auspices of the American Trading Company of New York. It is the third cotton mill erected In China. It ha 45,000 spin dle and two engines of 1,(100 horse power now In motion, and a number of loom will be added soon. AN ARMt.FSS F DITOrt. Writes With Hi I o and Sln Document with His Teeth. There U an editor iu Texas who writes with liis ticn and signs ins name to checks and utlier documents with a n held in his mouth, lie was botu without arms, but Inn substituted im feet for hands and his toe tor lingers, and has learned to ct along very well under the handicap set upon him by Dame Nature. His name is Aaron Smith, and he is editor and proprietor cf tha Times-Review at Mount Pitas ant, in the Ixjne Star state. Mr. Smith was born in Arkansas twenty-nine years ago, but was raised in Texas. He is tt;e second of ten children, and the only one that is de formed. At the time when other children were using their hands this baby was using his toes. As he grew older the ability to handle things with his toes became moie pronounced. His toes have never been cramped in tight hoes, but have been used as fingers. They resemble fingers more than they do the average toe. They are no longer than other people's toes, but they are straighter and are free from big joints and corns. When he wa3 seven years old young Smith learned to write. He attended school, and was always at the head of his class. On the playground be could shoot a marble as skillfully a3 any boy of his age, and he learned to play a good game of croquet. During his boyhood he learned to play on the guitar and the piano, but he never became particularly proficient, not having a good deal of musical talent. At that time he was offered a large salary to travel and exhibit bim Eelf. The offer has been repeated at various times, but he has never paid any attention to the propositions. When looking about for a profession he decided to study law. His friends and relatives dissuaded him, urging his physical disadvantage. This only spur red the young man on, and he was admitted to the bar when but twenty years old. He was successful as a lawyer, and was especially convincing In addressing a jury. He followed the law for some years, during which time he became interested in politics and was a candidate for district Judge. That year happened to be a bad year for the Democrats in Texas and he was defated. He was a delegate to the state convention that selected delegates to the last national democratic conven tion. Mr. Smith has always had a liking for the newspaper business. A few year6 ago he purchased the Times-Review in his home town and has con ducted it successfully ever since. It Is one of the most influential county weeklies In the state. The armless editor uses a typewriter, though he can write easily and rapidly with a pen or a pencil held in his mouth. But when he sits down and begins pound ing the typewriter keys with his toes copy is turned out at a surprising rate. Mr. Rmlth Is married and has a baby girl that he thinks is the prettiest baby in the state. His wife Is a woman of more than average Intelligence, and Mr. Rmith says that he owes much of his success to her. She assists. in his newspaper labors, though Mr Smith Is the editor and business manaerer and attends to all the details. He has used his feet In place of his hands for such a long time that he Is surprised that anyone thinks his accomplishment at all wonderful. How Flies Walk Upside Down. In our youth wo were taught that flieg adhered to the ceiling or to the window pane because their feet were provided with suckers from which they had the power of exhausting the air. This was disproved from the fact that a fly could run up the side of an ex hausted glass receiver when a vacuum under his feet would do him no good even if he had the power of creating It, and by the further fact that a micro scope examination showed that his fest were not provided with suckers, but with multitudes of hairs from which exuded a fluid in minute drops. It was then suggested that this fluid was vis cous or gummy, so that the fly adhered by a sort of mucilage. This too, was disproved, as it was shown that the fluid possessed no adhesive properties. By a series of careful experiments de tailed In Our Animal Friends for Sep temebr Dr. Drerhold proves that cap illary attraction, the adhesion of water to a surface, is enough to support a fly even if he were 50 per cent, heavier than he Is. The hairs give out an ir finlieslmal drop of water, and as ther" are a great number of them the fly is enabled to hang on the ceiling and to tickle any sensatlve surface on which he alights In a highly scientific manner. Curlou3 Foster Mother. Alexis Drouad, gardener at Bouln, La Vendee, In France, found some days ago in a hole four Infant rabbits that seemed deserted. Taking pity on them he turned over in his mind how to rear them. The thought strurk him that a cat which had recently been deprived of three out of a litter of four kittens would have no objection to bringing them up. He first took a little white thing resembling the kitten she was nursing. She received the foundling In the kindest way and set It on to a teat. The others were brought one bv one and treated In the seme way, hut the cat does not see the young rabbits bouncing about, and corrects them for so doing. She evidently thinks their manners bad. and tries to make them smoother. Theslngle kitten and young rabbits play, but they do not knnv what to make of the youthful felln when It thinks It fun to strike their tioses with Its paw, The cat's anxlet" about the adopted family makeg her quite feverish. Paving blocks made of meadow grass are now manufactured. Thflir Inventor was a clergyman, and the meadow grass. Impregnated with oil, tar and rosin. Is pressed into blocks and finely bound Iron straps. The ad vantages claimed for these blocks are that they are noiseless and elastic re sist the wear well and are Impervious to heat and cold. The father of a lawyer now well known In Kan Francisco was In his ImI Illness talking with a clergyman, when the latter asked him if he had made his peace with God. "Sir," replied the old tienlleman, "the Ijord and I have never had any trouble." THE U f J I I H OTTAKA'S bOUHCK. Heturni-d Missionary ft-H of tli StrariKU Country. An Indian missionary, the Rev. Father LanlH of the Oblat Order, lias I'l'turm d lately to civilization Irom the longest trip yet made by any of his older to minister to the aboriginal in habitants of the wild and little known country wattered by the sources of the upper Ottawa liver. From the outer confines of civiliza tion at Mattawa, the missionary traveled no less than 800 miles through this rough north country, the greater part of his journey being made in a birch bark canoe. He passed by the head waters of the Gatineau, the Desert, the Culonge, the Damoine and iake Keepewa visiting also the Indi ans of the post of Barriere, Grand Lake Victoria and Grassy Lake. At Barriere the missionary found 150 In dians congregated to trade with the factor of the Hudson Bay company. Their method of bartering with the company is quite ingenious. For the first day or two after their appearance at the post they say nothing of their hunt and make no offer to sell anthing to the factor. Finally their discretion is overcome by their want of tobacco, or Hour, or trinkets, and they cau tiously advance with a few skins, which they dispose of for the means of supplying their immediate wants. To all inquiries they reply that the hunt has been a poor one, and that they have secured but few trophies ot their chase. Gradually more and more peltriesare produced, and soon the entire season's hunt is disposed of, immediate use being made of the goods obtained iu exchange, with no regard for future necessities. Nominally, these Indiana are Christians, but practically they live in the grossest immorality. Father Laniel in his last trip persuaded five couples to pass through the ceremony of matrimony, and other missionaries testify to the difficulty which they ex perience in preventing polygamy and in inducing some of the leading men of the tribe to put aside their super fluous wives. These Indians are still exceedingly superstitious, and the killing of a bear is the occasion of a remarkable festival among them. The bear's head is placed upon a pole vah a piece of tobaccoc iu the mouth. While some contend that this is sim ply to show other Indians that neara have been found there, or to keep the skull beyond the reach of dogs, oth ers say that it is to honor the animal and propitiate the spirit of its kind. At times many bears' skulls may be seen upon the same pole. Occasional ly the skulls of beavers are treated thus. But this season beavers have been exceedingly rare, and but few have been killed, and now the animal is to be protected by law until 1900 Apart from the skulls, the bones of animals killed in the chase are buried in the ground, thrown into deep water or consumed with fire. The painted skin of a bear cub forms an essential part of the outfit of the conjurers or medicine men. One of the Indians met tiy Father Liiniel kill ;,1 lie b irs m on. month. These animals are ;o re ported to be very plentiful. The moose, the red deer, and the caribou are plen tiful in die country luin-e I over by these Indians, who sr. consequently much more fortunate than those whose ! hunting grounds are in the interior of ! Labrador. Immense fish are taken iin the Grand Lake Vkuoiia and other waters over which these Inlians pad dle their birch bark canoes, including sturgeon weighing up to fifty p unds each. Pike and lake trout are caught up to forty pounds each. Advantages of Bare Feet. Visitors to Scotland used to be hor rified on seeing so many children run ning about barefooted. Bare feet aro less common now than they were a generation ago, and perhaps the change, while showing a growing pros perity in the nation, is not altogether to be commended. Children's feet grow so fast that to keep them always prop erly shod is a matter that requires con siderable care and some expenditure. It matters very little to a child's fu ture wellbeing that at some period of Its childhood the sleeves of a jacket have been too short or the skirt of a frock too scant; but the compression of feet in boots too tight, or, even worse, too short, may be a cause of torment in future years. Infinitely better are bare feet than clumsy, 111 shapen boots. In winter the feet may indeed want some protection from cold and wet, but during a great part of the year children may safely go bare footed. Some mothers, by no means of the poorest cUihs, are convinced that the comfort and symmetry of the feet in maturer years are largely to be gained by giving them freedom during the time of growth. At a very fashion able marriage some time ago a child bridesmaid was seen silk-robed, but shoeless. Where shoes to fit every stage of growth can be easily ob tained, it may seem an excess of care, almost an affectation, to dispense with the conventional foot covering, hut if it makes It easier for the wife of a small tradesman with whom the shoo problem is a difficult one, never solved in a comfortable or hygienic way to let her children go barefooted if she sees the, heir of the dukedom enjoying the full ease of his uncramped ties, we should, says the Hospital, beseech the diuheKs to take away his shoes. No doubt the young hope of the peerage would take his emancipation gladly. And If shoes are undesirable, how much more so are gloves. Except the thick woolen ones for winter warmth, gloves should be banfuhed from a child's Wardrobe. How many young sters "dressed to death," or near It, would echo the complaint of a West India negro soldier when for the first time ho donned full uniform: "Bar racks for de feet bad miff; barracks for de hands too bad too bad!" - .. Mr. Garmoyle How Is your brother now? Miss Woodruff He Isn't any better, hut wo are greatly encouraged, Mr. Garmoyle It Beems rather sin gular that you should be encouraged when he Isn't any better. Miss Woodruff You see, we've Just found a doctor who admits that ho doesn't know what Is the matter with the poor boy, and this lends us to be lieve that at Inst Will is In the hands of a than who knows his business." ABSENT-MINDED JONES. liyt tirlM H levin Jones couldn't help It. He was born that way. As a baby he couldn't re member his nursing bottle or rattle box five minutes after they were out of Ljs Laud. Sometimes tie remem bered that his mother was a woman he had seen around the house before, and sometimes he looked upon her as an utter stranger. On rare occasions he recognized his father, and there were times when he seemed to feel at home in the bouse. As a baby Jones was a side-show. He was named Henry, but if you called him George or Jake or Hanna, it was all the same to him. He was as bright as the average boy, but he simply eouldn't rinember. Every page or lesson in school was new to him next day, and it wasn't half the time he could remember the name of the teacher. His mother fretted and worried, and his father scolded and thrashed, but the boy did not improve. They finally got a phrenologist to ex amine his bumps, and his verdict was: "He was horn that way, and you can't do anything with him. Just let him make the best of it" The "best" was to let him go his way and do as he pleased, and he grew up into a fairly good man. To the wonder of all he turned to busi ness and displayed an aptitude for it. His real troubles began when he got old enough to escort the girls about. If introduced to a strange girl he would Invariably lead off with: "Very happy, indeed; but havn't we met before?" "I think not." "Perhaps not; but I was thinking I asked you to marry me." "No, 6ir." "I must be mista.ken, of course. Did n't we ever court?" "No, sir." "I thought we had. Just excuse me, will you?" And half an hour later he would be likely to stare at her for a moment with troubled countenance, and then say: "Let's see? Didn't I ask you to mar ry me a little while ago?" "No, sir." "I thought I did. Excuse me, and I'll try to remember you better." One day he came home with a very serious look on his face, and when asked what was troubling him, he re plied: "Have we got a cook named 'Mary?'" "No; her name Is Jane," replied his mother. "Does she expect me to marry her?" "Of course not. Who put that notion Into your head?" "Why, I'm almost sure I asked some body's cook, named Mary or Jane or something, to marry me. Please go and ask our cook if she is the one." His grandmother came on a visit, and the day after her arrival young Jones called her into another room and confidentially observed: "It comes a little hard for me to re nrember everything, you know. In talking with you yesterday did I ask you to marry me?" "Why, mercy, no!" grasped the eld lady. "Are you sure?" "Of course I am! The idea qf your asking your grandmother to marry you!" "Well, maybe I didn't," he sighed, "but I was talking with you and one or two other women, and it seems to me I proposed to one at least. If it wasn't you it was one of the others." It was a nine-days wonder when he got married, and later on it was as certained that he had been engaged to twenty-two different girls. That is, he had popped the question to that many, and whether all had accepted or re jected him he could not remember. One day he overtook a girl on the village street, and after walking a block or so he suddenly asked: "Miss Angell, I don't remember some things very celarly. For instance, did I ever tell you that I loved you?" "You never did." she replied. "Well, I wish to tell you so now. Per haps I never asked you to marry me?" "Never." "Then I ask you now." "Yes, I will marry you," replied the girl, who knew Jones to be a very wor thy young man, and who was in every way worthy herself. "I thank you very much. When shall it come off tomorrow?" "No; the day after." "Very well. We will have a quiet marriage at your house the day after tomorrow. 1 must try and remember that. Just excuse me, will you?" And he left her to run across the street and Into a grocery aud say to the proprietor: "Say, Billings, do me a favor, will you?" "Of course what is it?" "I'm going to marry Sadie Angell Thursday evening. Please hilp me to remember It." Billings agreed and about every two hours he had a boy hunt tip young Jones and Jog his memory. Tho Jones family also helped him to remember, and altogether the bridegroom-elect did go off fishing on the marriage day they got him back in time for the marriage. Two hours after the ceremony, how ever, while he was circulating among; the guests, he met the bride and smil ingly said: "Miss Angell, did we or did we not get married this evening?" "Why of course we did!" "I thought so, but wasn't quite sure about It. All right I'll remember that we did." As a family man Jones had a house In the center of the block. For every time he stopped at his own gate h passed It ten times. He was Just as apt to walk Into any other house se Ins own, and people used to gather to se him do It. When the baby appeared he said he would try to remember that it was a girl and his. Ills wife put a re headed baby Into the crib she bor rowed wins amd even triplets, and he never noticed the difference. One day he left a six-months' Infant In the crib and went to business. At noon time he found a two year old k'ckln up its heels In the seme plact. nnd he made no remarks whatever. Jones bought and shipped produce. He wasn't quite so absent-minded when doing business, but It was hard work to keep track of things. If he bought fifty dozen eggs of Brown he had to write It dewn In four or five different place, and ern then he m llk1y to gt the Iteu tnUid up with ln bml of apples bought of Greon, He would try to colic, t a debt I,ve or r i t time over, but us an cifTxH would always pay over und over again, If demanded. He et out for the country otm day with 1500 in cash in Lis pocket to buy pro duce, but after one or two nurrhuse be lost himself and was not found for two weeks. It was sn actual fact that be forgot his town and Lis name, nnd be had about concluded :he purchase of an old saw mill when an acquain tance happened ak ng ard told him who be was and where he belonged. "Then I am Jones?" -:u2rleJ the absent-minded and anstonisbed man, "Of course you are!" , r "And I live at Greenville?" "Certainly. I have known you for years." "Well, if I'm Jones, and live at Greenville, I guess I'd better be jog ging along home." There were times when Jones forgot that he was married, and it was one of these lapses which brought his death. If he wasn't bothered with business he remembered that he had a wife and two children. It business matters vexed him he might say to any woman who entered his store: "A dozen eggs, eh? Certainly, Mad am, I do not remember little details as wall as I wish I did. Were we ever married. "No, sir!" "I don't know, you know. Didn't I ever ask you to marry me?" "No, sirl" "Didn't I ever sit up with you Sun day nights?" "Never, sir!" "Well, I'm' probably mistaken, and you'll please excuse me. The woman was likely to go home and tell her husband, and the latter would rush over to Jones to exclaim: "See here, now, but you'll get your head knocked off if you talk to my wife that way again!" "Your wife! But I don't even know your wife!" the astonished Jones would reply. "But she was just in here after eggs." "Was that your wife? Well, well! And all I said to her was to ask her if she liked boiled eggs." As a sort of public test of Jones' absent-mindedness, he was told one morning that five men had been killed at the railroad depot. He expressed his sympathies, and ten minutes later he was told the same thing over again. This was continued until he had been told fifteen times. Then a man drop ped in and carelessly Inquired: "Well, Jones, any news today?" "Not a bit," replied Jones. "Wasn't there an accident some where around town this morning?" "Haven't heard of any." "What was Griggs telling you half an hour ago?" "Griggs? Griggs? Oh, yes, I remem ber Griggs, the carpenter. Let's see. Let's see. Why, he was saying some thing about an earthquake in Japan, I believe, but I didn't pay much atten tion." A few weeks after that Jones had to go to Indianapolis on business. He had his errand written down in four different note books, a.nd there was hope that he would accomplish it. At the hotel in Indianapolis he met a wid ow who was traveling and had lost her money by theft. His sympathies went out at once, and in his mental excite ment he forgot his past particularily the fact that he was a married man. He betran to talk tenderly and kindly, and within five hours had offered him self in marriage. The widow sized him up for a good man and accepted him, and the marriage ceremony took place in the hotel parlor next morn ing. An hour later Jones was rec ognized by a fellow townsman and of course he was in hot water. They tried to make the widow understand that he was an absent-minded man and meant no wrong, but excuses didn't go down with her. He had committed bigamy, and she felt so wronged and Insulted that she caused his arrest at once. When Jones was arraigned, all he could say was: "Dear, dear me, but I'd clean for got that I ever married. I'm not sur if I really ever did, but If they say so, I shall have to believe it." The judge said that matrimony was too sacred to be trifled with that way, and Jones was sent to jail until he could get bail. There was a delay of two or three weeks, and he caught a heavy cold in his damp cell and died of pneumonia before the case came to trial. When his wife came to see him she upbraided him, as was natural, and he replied: "How was I to remember when I had forgotten all about it? You ought to have tied a string around my finger or put it down in the books." If Jones had lived the bigamy case might have gone hard with him, but the widow couldn't get revenge on a dead man. An hour before he died, and when they told him that death was near, he quietly replied: "So I'm going to die, eh? It sort of seems as if I had died before, but mebbe not. I'll try and remember about it this time, however." What Causes a Cold. Nothing Is more common than to hear the cold accused of having pro voked the disease known by the same name, an inflammation of the lungs, an attack or even an epidemic of diphtheria or grippe. How has It been able to do this? Surely it has not caused to spring up, ready armed, the microbes of these different maladies. It has only been able to favor their intervention or their action. The cold dooe not give rise to the microbe, but It benumbs and paralyzes ttie leucocyte charged with contending against It. Various other causes may hinder the action of the leucocytes. It Is suf ficient to bruise the member near the point where an Inoculation has been made, to break a bone In the vicinity, In short, to give other work to the leucocytes, who are at the same tlms the police force and tho street sweep ers of the organism, charged with mak ing disappear all the dead or deter iorated elements. But they cannot do everything at once, and, while they are working to repair the material dis orders caused by the coatuston or the fracture, the microbes, that they easily englobe In a healthy member, get the upper hand, because they have free course. B. Duclaui, In Chautauqua for September.