VOUNQ WOMEN READ THI9.
To B In Thi Vir You Must Own
an Old-Fashioned btoc.k.
To be considered a thoroughly up-to-date
young woman it Is necessary u
wu tbU season (in old-fashioned Block,
witn a genuine Empire ruilie. It must
look as if It had been made for George
Washington instead of the f?ohloiiu.Ma
girl of "Jl.
The stock must le very high, and
the ruflie most conspicuous. It can
La bought in plaid, silk or sheer lawn,
and is considered one of the special
novelties of the autumn. The stock,
after being wound round the neck, is
then tied in a smart bow in front. This
novelty not only forms a collar, but a
chemisette, and Is worn by the tailor
made girl as well as the young woman
who is partial to quaint poko bonnets
and big old-faRhioned muffs. It is one
of James McCreery's latest creations.
But it Is not only this high stock
with the Empire ruilie that the fashion
able girl must wear this autumn. It is
required of her that she own a large
collection of neck-ties and collars. And
great is the variety for her to select
from.
If she wishes to be Just a little the
atrical there is the Vesta Tllley scarf,
fresh from London. All the Johnnies
will wear it. as well as the tailor-made
girls. The most remarkable thing about
It Js that It 13 made from a piece of
old Paisley shawl. This was Vesta Til
ley's own Idea. However, It can be
made from silk in the Paisley design
and colors If one so wishes.
Then it must be remembered that
there is a special way of wearing the
Vesta Tllley scarf that gives it an add
ed touch of novelty. It is In a four-in-hand,
but the ends are left so long
that they reach way below the waist
line. The linen collar worn with this
carf must be unusually high.
But it Is not only Vesta Tilley that
the fashionable young woman Is Imi
tating so far as her neckwear is con
cerned this season, but the venerable
Mr. Gladstone. For among the latest
novelties there Is the Gladstone collar,
with its high cut points and an exact
copy of the stock which he wears dally.
It can be bough ready made In black
satin, but can be made to order in any
of the new fashioned Bhades.
The gay colored Roman scarf is per
haps the most popular necktie of the
fall. It comes in a four-in-hand, to be
tied the new way, and also in a string
tie. The Roman silk four-ln-hands are
most gorgeous affairs. They give Just
the right touch of color to a sombre
gown. They are made with a straight
stiff collar of the silk, and the knot of
the four-in-hand is tied just over the
bust. The ends are long and flowing
and through one of them a jeweled pin
Is caught.
This idea of pinning one end of the
necktie to the bod Ire of the gown is a
special fad of the hour. It is not so
long ago that the pin which adorned
a necktie was always thrust through
the knot. Hut now that Is considered
particularly bad form. The pin must
never lie worn unless it holds one end
of the scarf to the bodice.
The Roman string tics look well with
any shaped linen collar, but just at
present they are being worn the most
with the collar which has a turned over
edge all the way round.
With ninny of the handsome cos
tumes tMs Hcaoon and with alrst all
of the fashionable coats there are col
lars so high at the back that they aro
startlingly conspicuous. There are vel
vet collar In an exaggerated Medici
shape, which are covered with Jeweled
lace and edged with fur. and then there
are other collars reaching half way up
the head at the back and made entirely
of feathers.
Many of these collars hide the ears
from view, but they are all considered
extremely fashionable.
The broad mull necktie which made
Its appearance late in the summer Is
growing more and more popular. If
ran lie bought this fall In soft llbertv
silk and In moussellne de sole, with
borders of lace applique. The bow is
tied In the direct front and the ends
pre unusually long.
The jewelpd dog collar Is also In fa
vor this season In cut steel and pearls
If Is most effective over a high, smooth
fitting collar of bright satin.
Monopolies In Cermany.
Among the odd things about official
life in Germany are the monopolies
that are granted for all sorts of busi
ness. People have the exclusive priv
ilege of doing things here that every
body else has the right to do without
permission in other countries. For ex
ample, chimney sweeping Is a mo
nopoly, and the man who controls it
has to be paid for sweeping your
chimney twice a year whether he
sweeps it or not. You may employ
somebody else, or you may not have
your chimney swtpt at all, but he and
he alone has the legal right to do the
business, and he will call upon you
eveiy spring and every autumn for his
fees. He never does any work him
self. He is an important and usually
a wealthy individual, and in Nurem
burg is said to enjoy a revenue of
JT.noO a year from his privilege, Cut
out of this total he is compelled to
pay a gang of boys who do the sweep
ing for him.
The number of drug stores Is lim
ited by law one to every 1,000 of pop
ulationand they have to pay a heavy
license to the city. Therefore they
charge high prices for prescriptions
and get rich.
Oneofthe restrictions upon the drug
business and It Is tin excellent provi
sionrequires all durgs and medicines
Intended for use Internally to be put
up In round bottles. All drugs and
rhemleals which are not used internally
ns medicines must lie placed in hex
agonal bottles. Thus It Is Impossible
for any man who Is In his right; mind
to poison himself by mistake.
Origin of the Term Spinster.
There arc few persons that have not
looked Into the dictionary especial'
who know how the term "spinster" or
iginated. We often find It In Shakes
peare and other of the English classics,
but It Is not always used to define a
spinner. This Is Its specific meaning.
Its general significance is wider. There
was an old practice, In the years agone,
(hat a woman ihould never be marled
until she had spun herself t sot of
body, table and bed linen. It Is not
difficult to use how easy the term be
came applicable to all unmarried wo
men, and finally became a law term
nil dyed.
K H W'Ft'-i AKHFS IN A TIN CAN
Wantd to Sljuci i mm toth Four
Wmd of Heavon,
General John M. Wilson, thief of en
pineirs, United States Army, whs sit
ting In his office In the War Depart
ment the other day when a person of
very dubious aspect appeared In the
doorway. It was a man, with clothing
tattered and torn, a two weeks' beard,
and carrying an ordinary tomota can
In his hand. A tramp, obviously; the
tomato can, accepted as the emblem
of Weary Willie in the comic papers,
leemed to settle It. But the general
Is accessible to people of all ranks and
conditions, and he bade the stranger
walk in and tell his business.
"I'm in hard luck,"said theman, sit
ting down on the edge of a chair. As
he did so he placed the tomato can on
a corner of General Wilson's desk.
The general assented, as much as to
say that the confession was no sur
prise to him.
"I've been carrying thi 3 here can
around for two weeks," added the
stranger, indicalingthe receptacle with
his thumb.
"Indeed," said the general, raising
his eyebrows slightly.
"It contains the remains of my de
ceased wife," the man continued, wip
ing one eye with the frayed tail of his
coat. "She was cremated a fortnight
back."
"You don't say so!" said the general,
this' time really surprised, and looking
doubtfully at the tomato can, as if he
wished it somewhere else than on his
desk.
"Fact sir," replied the stranger. "And
her last request was that the remains
should be disposed of In some genteel
manner. I couldn't afford an urn. You
know, one can hire an urn at the cem
etery, but Its awfully expensive. So I
brought 'em around for two weeks for
want of knowin' what to do with 'em.
Now, I've decided, and I've come to
ask for a permit."
"A permit for what?" asked the gen
eral. "To chuck 'em from the top of
Washington Moritiment." said the man.
"and scatter 'rm to the four winds of
hpaven. That would be rather genteel,
don't you think?"
"I supose it would," assented the
general, with a gasp.
"They told me I'd have to come to
yon for a permit," explained the
stranger.
"No. sir." responded General Wil
son, decidedly. "You can get no such
permit, here. The Washington Monu
ment Is not intended for burial pur
poses. Good day. sir '
The general said afterward: "Why,
there was nothing In the world to pre
vent the man from scattering a bucket
ful as ashes from the monument if he
wanted to do so. Hut if T granted a
permit for such a thing, cranks from
all over the counrty would lie coming
hero to distribute the remains of their
relatives from the fop of the marble
shaft. It would never do, indeed."
Flourishing Underground City.
In Gallcia, In Austrian Poland, there
is a remarkable underground city,
which has a population of over 1,000
men, women and children, scores of
whom have never seen the light of day
It is known as the City of the Rait
Mines, and is situated several hundred
feet below the earth's surface. It has
its town hall, theatre and assembly
room, as well as a btautifulchurch, dec
orated with statues, all being fashioned
from the pure, crystallized rock salt.
It has well graded streets and spacious
squares, lighted with electricity. There
are numerous Instances in this under
ground city where not a single Individ
ual in three or four successive genera
tions has ever seen the sun or has any
Idea of how people live In the light of
day.
Fashions For Little Glrle.
Much gay Roman striped ribbon, ac
cordion plaited. Is used on the various
frocks for little girls. Besides the
plaids the materials most in favor are
the wool novelty goods and the pop
lins, which are noted for their ex
cellent wearing capacity.
For young ladies of four and five
there are very gorgeous silk coats this
fall.
One of the daintiest is made of
cream white figured silk with a deep
Bilk cape tr'ninied with grebe breasts.
The dancing school dresses are of
Liberty satin or white moussellne de
sole over taffeta silk. They are trimm
ed with dainty frills of Valenciennes
lace, accordion plaited white gauze rib
bon and insertion.
Cedar Forests Being Used Up.
Havoc Is being mado of the best
cedar swamps in ttie country to supply
the increasing demand of the long
distance electric transmission plants
and the po wr and lighting llnea, for
poles. One firm handled 150.010 poles
last vear, and has been making largo
consignments to Buenos Ayres, South
America and Canada, as well as ship
ments to Texas. Utah and Colorado.
The poles are rafted from the forest
lakes In lots of 20,000, and lifted from
the water by steam elevators. They
are then sorted and placed In separate
piles. Those which are not of high
Etandard are used for fence posts,
shingles, railroad tiest and paving
blocks.
Oldest Ensrllsh Business.
Probably the oldest business In Eng
land Is an ancient linen drapery con
cern, which has been In existence since
1000. I'nder the title of the Sign of
tihe C'roune, the Industry hun been
carried on In the old town of Shefford
in Bedfordshire, upward of 300 years,
for more than half of which time it has
been In the hands of a single family
In an almost direct line. Since 1750
thlg ancient drapery shop has been un
der the con'rol of Cator & Rons, who
occupy the original buildings.
Chinese Cotton Milt.
An American manufactory his been
Introduced into China In the form of
the International cotton mill, recently
established at Puotuug, a small town
near Shanghai, under the auspices of
the American Trading Company of
New York. It is the third cotton mill
erected In China. It ha 45,000 spin
dle and two engines of 1,(100 horse
power now In motion, and a number of
loom will be added soon.
AN ARMt.FSS F DITOrt.
Writes With Hi I o and Sln
Document with His Teeth.
There U an editor iu Texas who
writes with liis ticn and signs ins name
to checks and utlier documents with
a n held in his mouth, lie was botu
without arms, but Inn substituted im
feet for hands and his toe tor lingers,
and has learned to ct along very well
under the handicap set upon him by
Dame Nature. His name is Aaron
Smith, and he is editor and proprietor
cf tha Times-Review at Mount Pitas
ant, in the Ixjne Star state.
Mr. Smith was born in Arkansas
twenty-nine years ago, but was raised
in Texas. He is tt;e second of ten
children, and the only one that is de
formed. At the time when other
children were using their hands this
baby was using his toes. As he grew
older the ability to handle things with
his toes became moie pronounced. His
toes have never been cramped in tight
hoes, but have been used as fingers.
They resemble fingers more than they
do the average toe. They are no longer
than other people's toes, but they are
straighter and are free from big joints
and corns.
When he wa3 seven years old young
Smith learned to write. He attended
school, and was always at the head of
his class. On the playground be could
shoot a marble as skillfully a3 any boy
of his age, and he learned to play a
good game of croquet.
During his boyhood he learned to
play on the guitar and the piano, but
he never became particularly proficient,
not having a good deal of musical
talent. At that time he was offered a
large salary to travel and exhibit bim
Eelf. The offer has been repeated at
various times, but he has never paid
any attention to the propositions.
When looking about for a profession
he decided to study law. His friends
and relatives dissuaded him, urging his
physical disadvantage. This only spur
red the young man on, and he was
admitted to the bar when but twenty
years old. He was successful as a
lawyer, and was especially convincing
In addressing a jury. He followed the
law for some years, during which time
he became interested in politics and
was a candidate for district Judge.
That year happened to be a bad year
for the Democrats in Texas and he
was defated. He was a delegate to the
state convention that selected delegates
to the last national democratic conven
tion. Mr. Smith has always had a liking
for the newspaper business. A few
year6 ago he purchased the Times-Review
in his home town and has con
ducted it successfully ever since. It Is
one of the most influential county
weeklies In the state. The armless
editor uses a typewriter, though he
can write easily and rapidly with a
pen or a pencil held in his mouth. But
when he sits down and begins pound
ing the typewriter keys with his toes
copy is turned out at a surprising
rate.
Mr. Rmlth Is married and has a baby
girl that he thinks is the prettiest baby
in the state. His wife Is a woman of
more than average Intelligence, and
Mr. Rmith says that he owes much of
his success to her. She assists. in his
newspaper labors, though Mr Smith
Is the editor and business manaerer and
attends to all the details. He has used
his feet In place of his hands for such
a long time that he Is surprised that
anyone thinks his accomplishment at
all wonderful.
How Flies Walk Upside Down.
In our youth wo were taught that
flieg adhered to the ceiling or to the
window pane because their feet were
provided with suckers from which they
had the power of exhausting the air.
This was disproved from the fact that
a fly could run up the side of an ex
hausted glass receiver when a vacuum
under his feet would do him no good
even if he had the power of creating It,
and by the further fact that a micro
scope examination showed that his fest
were not provided with suckers, but
with multitudes of hairs from which
exuded a fluid in minute drops. It was
then suggested that this fluid was vis
cous or gummy, so that the fly adhered
by a sort of mucilage. This too, was
disproved, as it was shown that the
fluid possessed no adhesive properties.
By a series of careful experiments de
tailed In Our Animal Friends for Sep
temebr Dr. Drerhold proves that cap
illary attraction, the adhesion of water
to a surface, is enough to support a
fly even if he were 50 per cent, heavier
than he Is. The hairs give out an ir
finlieslmal drop of water, and as ther"
are a great number of them the fly is
enabled to hang on the ceiling and to
tickle any sensatlve surface on which
he alights In a highly scientific manner.
Curlou3 Foster Mother.
Alexis Drouad, gardener at Bouln, La
Vendee, In France, found some days
ago in a hole four Infant rabbits that
seemed deserted. Taking pity on them
he turned over in his mind how to rear
them. The thought strurk him that a
cat which had recently been deprived
of three out of a litter of four kittens
would have no objection to bringing
them up. He first took a little white
thing resembling the kitten she was
nursing. She received the foundling
In the kindest way and set It on to a
teat. The others were brought one bv
one and treated In the seme way, hut
the cat does not see the young rabbits
bouncing about, and corrects them for
so doing. She evidently thinks their
manners bad. and tries to make them
smoother. Theslngle kitten and young
rabbits play, but they do not knnv
what to make of the youthful felln
when It thinks It fun to strike their
tioses with Its paw, The cat's anxlet"
about the adopted family makeg her
quite feverish.
Paving blocks made of meadow
grass are now manufactured. Thflir
Inventor was a clergyman, and the
meadow grass. Impregnated with oil,
tar and rosin. Is pressed into blocks
and finely bound Iron straps. The ad
vantages claimed for these blocks are
that they are noiseless and elastic re
sist the wear well and are Impervious
to heat and cold.
The father of a lawyer now well
known In Kan Francisco was In his
ImI Illness talking with a clergyman,
when the latter asked him if he had
made his peace with God. "Sir," replied
the old tienlleman, "the Ijord and I
have never had any trouble."
THE U f J I I H OTTAKA'S bOUHCK.
Heturni-d Missionary ft-H of tli
StrariKU Country.
An Indian missionary, the Rev.
Father LanlH of the Oblat Order, lias
I'l'turm d lately to civilization Irom the
longest trip yet made by any of his
older to minister to the aboriginal in
habitants of the wild and little known
country wattered by the sources
of the upper Ottawa liver. From
the outer confines of civiliza
tion at Mattawa, the missionary
traveled no less than 800 miles
through this rough north country, the
greater part of his journey being made
in a birch bark canoe. He passed by
the head waters of the Gatineau, the
Desert, the Culonge, the Damoine and
iake Keepewa visiting also the Indi
ans of the post of Barriere, Grand
Lake Victoria and Grassy Lake. At
Barriere the missionary found 150 In
dians congregated to trade with the
factor of the Hudson Bay company.
Their method of bartering with the
company is quite ingenious. For the
first day or two after their appearance
at the post they say nothing of their
hunt and make no offer to sell anthing
to the factor. Finally their discretion
is overcome by their want of tobacco,
or Hour, or trinkets, and they cau
tiously advance with a few skins,
which they dispose of for the means of
supplying their immediate wants. To
all inquiries they reply that the hunt
has been a poor one, and that they
have secured but few trophies ot their
chase.
Gradually more and more peltriesare
produced, and soon the entire season's
hunt is disposed of, immediate use
being made of the goods obtained iu
exchange, with no regard for future
necessities. Nominally, these Indiana
are Christians, but practically they live
in the grossest immorality. Father
Laniel in his last trip persuaded five
couples to pass through the ceremony
of matrimony, and other missionaries
testify to the difficulty which they ex
perience in preventing polygamy and
in inducing some of the leading men
of the tribe to put aside their super
fluous wives. These Indians are still
exceedingly superstitious, and the
killing of a bear is the occasion of a
remarkable festival among them. The
bear's head is placed upon a pole vah
a piece of tobaccoc iu the mouth.
While some contend that this is sim
ply to show other Indians that neara
have been found there, or to keep the
skull beyond the reach of dogs, oth
ers say that it is to honor the animal
and propitiate the spirit of its kind.
At times many bears' skulls may be
seen upon the same pole. Occasional
ly the skulls of beavers are treated
thus. But this season beavers have
been exceedingly rare, and but few
have been killed, and now the animal
is to be protected by law until 1900
Apart from the skulls, the bones of
animals killed in the chase are buried
in the ground, thrown into deep water
or consumed with fire. The painted
skin of a bear cub forms an essential
part of the outfit of the conjurers or
medicine men. One of the Indians met
tiy Father Liiniel kill ;,1 lie b irs m on.
month. These animals are ;o re
ported to be very plentiful. The moose,
the red deer, and the caribou are plen
tiful in die country luin-e I over by
these Indians, who sr. consequently
much more fortunate than those whose
! hunting grounds are in the interior of
! Labrador. Immense fish are taken
iin the Grand Lake Vkuoiia and other
waters over which these Inlians pad
dle their birch bark canoes, including
sturgeon weighing up to fifty p unds
each. Pike and lake trout are caught
up to forty pounds each.
Advantages of Bare Feet.
Visitors to Scotland used to be hor
rified on seeing so many children run
ning about barefooted. Bare feet aro
less common now than they were a
generation ago, and perhaps the
change, while showing a growing pros
perity in the nation, is not altogether
to be commended. Children's feet grow
so fast that to keep them always prop
erly shod is a matter that requires con
siderable care and some expenditure.
It matters very little to a child's fu
ture wellbeing that at some period of
Its childhood the sleeves of a jacket
have been too short or the skirt of a
frock too scant; but the compression
of feet in boots too tight, or, even
worse, too short, may be a cause of
torment in future years. Infinitely
better are bare feet than clumsy, 111
shapen boots. In winter the feet may
indeed want some protection from cold
and wet, but during a great part of
the year children may safely go bare
footed. Some mothers, by no means of the
poorest cUihs, are convinced that the
comfort and symmetry of the feet in
maturer years are largely to be gained
by giving them freedom during the
time of growth. At a very fashion
able marriage some time ago a child
bridesmaid was seen silk-robed, but
shoeless. Where shoes to fit every
stage of growth can be easily ob
tained, it may seem an excess of care,
almost an affectation, to dispense with
the conventional foot covering, hut if
it makes It easier for the wife of a
small tradesman with whom the shoo
problem is a difficult one, never solved
in a comfortable or hygienic way to
let her children go barefooted if she
sees the, heir of the dukedom enjoying
the full ease of his uncramped ties, we
should, says the Hospital, beseech the
diuheKs to take away his shoes. No
doubt the young hope of the peerage
would take his emancipation gladly.
And If shoes are undesirable, how
much more so are gloves. Except the
thick woolen ones for winter warmth,
gloves should be banfuhed from a
child's Wardrobe. How many young
sters "dressed to death," or near It,
would echo the complaint of a West
India negro soldier when for the first
time ho donned full uniform: "Bar
racks for de feet bad miff; barracks
for de hands too bad too bad!"
- ..
Mr. Garmoyle How Is your brother
now?
Miss Woodruff He Isn't any better,
hut wo are greatly encouraged,
Mr. Garmoyle It Beems rather sin
gular that you should be encouraged
when he Isn't any better.
Miss Woodruff You see, we've Just
found a doctor who admits that ho
doesn't know what Is the matter with
the poor boy, and this lends us to be
lieve that at Inst Will is In the hands
of a than who knows his business."
ABSENT-MINDED JONES.
liyt tirlM H levin
Jones couldn't help It. He was born
that way. As a baby he couldn't re
member his nursing bottle or rattle
box five minutes after they were out
of Ljs Laud. Sometimes tie remem
bered that his mother was a woman
he had seen around the house before,
and sometimes he looked upon her as
an utter stranger. On rare occasions
he recognized his father, and there
were times when he seemed to feel at
home in the bouse.
As a baby Jones was a side-show. He
was named Henry, but if you called
him George or Jake or Hanna, it was
all the same to him. He was as bright
as the average boy, but he simply
eouldn't rinember. Every page or
lesson in school was new to him next
day, and it wasn't half the time he
could remember the name of the
teacher. His mother fretted and
worried, and his father scolded and
thrashed, but the boy did not improve.
They finally got a phrenologist to ex
amine his bumps, and his verdict was:
"He was horn that way, and you
can't do anything with him. Just let
him make the best of it"
The "best" was to let him go his
way and do as he pleased, and he
grew up into a fairly good man. To
the wonder of all he turned to busi
ness and displayed an aptitude for it.
His real troubles began when he got
old enough to escort the girls about.
If introduced to a strange girl he would
Invariably lead off with:
"Very happy, indeed; but havn't we
met before?"
"I think not."
"Perhaps not; but I was thinking I
asked you to marry me."
"No, 6ir."
"I must be mista.ken, of course. Did
n't we ever court?"
"No, sir."
"I thought we had. Just excuse me,
will you?"
And half an hour later he would be
likely to stare at her for a moment
with troubled countenance, and then
say:
"Let's see? Didn't I ask you to mar
ry me a little while ago?"
"No, sir."
"I thought I did. Excuse me, and I'll
try to remember you better."
One day he came home with a very
serious look on his face, and when
asked what was troubling him, he re
plied: "Have we got a cook named
'Mary?'"
"No; her name Is Jane," replied his
mother.
"Does she expect me to marry her?"
"Of course not. Who put that notion
Into your head?"
"Why, I'm almost sure I asked some
body's cook, named Mary or Jane or
something, to marry me. Please go
and ask our cook if she is the one."
His grandmother came on a visit,
and the day after her arrival young
Jones called her into another room and
confidentially observed:
"It comes a little hard for me to re
nrember everything, you know. In
talking with you yesterday did I ask
you to marry me?"
"Why, mercy, no!" grasped the eld
lady.
"Are you sure?"
"Of course I am! The idea qf your
asking your grandmother to marry
you!"
"Well, maybe I didn't," he sighed,
"but I was talking with you and one
or two other women, and it
seems to me I proposed to one at least.
If it wasn't you it was one of the
others."
It was a nine-days wonder when he
got married, and later on it was as
certained that he had been engaged to
twenty-two different girls. That is, he
had popped the question to that many,
and whether all had accepted or re
jected him he could not remember. One
day he overtook a girl on the village
street, and after walking a block or so
he suddenly asked:
"Miss Angell, I don't remember some
things very celarly. For instance, did
I ever tell you that I loved you?"
"You never did." she replied.
"Well, I wish to tell you so now. Per
haps I never asked you to marry me?"
"Never."
"Then I ask you now."
"Yes, I will marry you," replied the
girl, who knew Jones to be a very wor
thy young man, and who was in every
way worthy herself.
"I thank you very much. When shall
it come off tomorrow?"
"No; the day after."
"Very well. We will have a quiet
marriage at your house the day after
tomorrow. 1 must try and remember
that. Just excuse me, will you?"
And he left her to run across the
street and Into a grocery aud say to the
proprietor:
"Say, Billings, do me a favor, will
you?"
"Of course what is it?"
"I'm going to marry Sadie Angell
Thursday evening. Please hilp me to
remember It."
Billings agreed and about every two
hours he had a boy hunt tip young
Jones and Jog his memory. Tho Jones
family also helped him to remember,
and altogether the bridegroom-elect did
go off fishing on the marriage day they
got him back in time for the marriage.
Two hours after the ceremony, how
ever, while he was circulating among;
the guests, he met the bride and smil
ingly said:
"Miss Angell, did we or did we not
get married this evening?"
"Why of course we did!"
"I thought so, but wasn't quite sure
about It. All right I'll remember that
we did."
As a family man Jones had a house
In the center of the block. For every
time he stopped at his own gate h
passed It ten times. He was Just as
apt to walk Into any other house se Ins
own, and people used to gather to se
him do It. When the baby appeared he
said he would try to remember that it
was a girl and his. Ills wife put a re
headed baby Into the crib she bor
rowed wins amd even triplets, and he
never noticed the difference. One day
he left a six-months' Infant In the crib
and went to business. At noon time
he found a two year old k'ckln up its
heels In the seme plact. nnd he made
no remarks whatever.
Jones bought and shipped produce.
He wasn't quite so absent-minded when
doing business, but It was hard work
to keep track of things. If he bought
fifty dozen eggs of Brown he had to
write It dewn In four or five different
place, and ern then he m llk1y to
gt the Iteu tnUid up with ln bml
of apples bought of Greon, He would
try to colic, t a debt I,ve or r i t time
over, but us an cifTxH would always
pay over und over again, If demanded.
He et out for the country otm day with
1500 in cash in Lis pocket to buy pro
duce, but after one or two nurrhuse
be lost himself and was not found for
two weeks. It was sn actual fact that
be forgot his town and Lis name, nnd
be had about concluded :he purchase
of an old saw mill when an acquain
tance happened ak ng ard told him who
be was and where he belonged.
"Then I am Jones?" -:u2rleJ the absent-minded
and anstonisbed man,
"Of course you are!" , r
"And I live at Greenville?"
"Certainly. I have known you for
years."
"Well, if I'm Jones, and live at
Greenville, I guess I'd better be jog
ging along home."
There were times when Jones forgot
that he was married, and it was one of
these lapses which brought his death.
If he wasn't bothered with business he
remembered that he had a wife and
two children. It business matters
vexed him he might say to any woman
who entered his store:
"A dozen eggs, eh? Certainly, Mad
am, I do not remember little details as
wall as I wish I did. Were we ever
married.
"No, sir!"
"I don't know, you know. Didn't I
ever ask you to marry me?"
"No, sirl"
"Didn't I ever sit up with you Sun
day nights?"
"Never, sir!"
"Well, I'm' probably mistaken, and
you'll please excuse me.
The woman was likely to go home
and tell her husband, and the latter
would rush over to Jones to exclaim:
"See here, now, but you'll get your
head knocked off if you talk to my
wife that way again!"
"Your wife! But I don't even know
your wife!" the astonished Jones
would reply.
"But she was just in here after
eggs."
"Was that your wife? Well, well!
And all I said to her was to ask her
if she liked boiled eggs."
As a sort of public test of Jones'
absent-mindedness, he was told one
morning that five men had been killed
at the railroad depot. He expressed
his sympathies, and ten minutes later
he was told the same thing over again.
This was continued until he had been
told fifteen times. Then a man drop
ped in and carelessly Inquired:
"Well, Jones, any news today?"
"Not a bit," replied Jones.
"Wasn't there an accident some
where around town this morning?"
"Haven't heard of any."
"What was Griggs telling you half
an hour ago?"
"Griggs? Griggs? Oh, yes, I remem
ber Griggs, the carpenter. Let's see.
Let's see. Why, he was saying some
thing about an earthquake in Japan, I
believe, but I didn't pay much atten
tion." A few weeks after that Jones had to
go to Indianapolis on business. He
had his errand written down in four
different note books, a.nd there was
hope that he would accomplish it. At
the hotel in Indianapolis he met a wid
ow who was traveling and had lost her
money by theft. His sympathies went
out at once, and in his mental excite
ment he forgot his past particularily
the fact that he was a married man.
He betran to talk tenderly and kindly,
and within five hours had offered him
self in marriage. The widow sized
him up for a good man and accepted
him, and the marriage ceremony took
place in the hotel parlor next morn
ing. An hour later Jones was rec
ognized by a fellow townsman and of
course he was in hot water. They tried
to make the widow understand that he
was an absent-minded man and meant
no wrong, but excuses didn't go down
with her. He had committed bigamy,
and she felt so wronged and Insulted
that she caused his arrest at once.
When Jones was arraigned, all he could
say was:
"Dear, dear me, but I'd clean for
got that I ever married. I'm not sur
if I really ever did, but If they say so,
I shall have to believe it."
The judge said that matrimony was
too sacred to be trifled with that way,
and Jones was sent to jail until he
could get bail. There was a delay of
two or three weeks, and he caught a
heavy cold in his damp cell and died
of pneumonia before the case came to
trial. When his wife came to see him
she upbraided him, as was natural, and
he replied:
"How was I to remember when I
had forgotten all about it? You ought
to have tied a string around my finger
or put it down in the books."
If Jones had lived the bigamy case
might have gone hard with him, but
the widow couldn't get revenge on a
dead man. An hour before he died,
and when they told him that death
was near, he quietly replied:
"So I'm going to die, eh? It sort of
seems as if I had died before, but
mebbe not. I'll try and remember
about it this time, however."
What Causes a Cold.
Nothing Is more common than to
hear the cold accused of having pro
voked the disease known by the same
name, an inflammation of the lungs,
an attack or even an epidemic of
diphtheria or grippe. How has It been
able to do this? Surely it has not
caused to spring up, ready armed, the
microbes of these different maladies.
It has only been able to favor their
intervention or their action. The cold
dooe not give rise to the microbe, but
It benumbs and paralyzes ttie leucocyte
charged with contending against It.
Various other causes may hinder the
action of the leucocytes. It Is suf
ficient to bruise the member near the
point where an Inoculation has been
made, to break a bone In the vicinity,
In short, to give other work to the
leucocytes, who are at the same tlms
the police force and tho street sweep
ers of the organism, charged with mak
ing disappear all the dead or deter
iorated elements. But they cannot do
everything at once, and, while they
are working to repair the material dis
orders caused by the coatuston or the
fracture, the microbes, that they easily
englobe In a healthy member, get the
upper hand, because they have free
course. B. Duclaui, In Chautauqua
for September.