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Darrioon Journal
BO. P. CAUV. MMm Tnp.
B1SBI80N,
NEB.
A French astronomer asserts that
"the sun la rapidly losing it heat." It
Is pretty easy to guess who U getting it
nowadays.
A New York donkey drank a half
kef of beer the other day, and it af
(acted him Just the same as if he were
a two-legged donkey.
Mr. 'langtry is hopping about and
Jumping up and down precisely like a
fellow who feels that he is being cheat
ad out of bis share of the gate receipts.
Great Britain may yet find it neces
sary to shoot a few East Indians to
smooth off the ragged edge of the pop
ulation which has survived the fam
ine, pestilence and earthquake.
A New Jersey minister haa stirred up
a lively row in his congregation by
the assertion that "there are
bo female angels." A visit to this town
would do that clergyman a word of
food.
Advices from New York state that
"Mrs. Nack, who Is held for the mur
der of William Guldensuppe, now haa
religion." It is strongly suspected,
however, that she hasn't worked it
overtime heretofore.
A Kansas City man has sued for di
vorce because his wife went in bathing
"clad in a little dinky bathing suit
I bout as big as a pocket handkerchief."
Borne husband are inclined to make a
fuss about the least little thing.
"When you think of a whole lot of
men flying around In nightshirts," re
marks the Atchison Globe, "heaven
ioesn't seem so attractive as it to paint
ed." Don't worry; it neiver has been
proved that men will fit Into that pic
ture at all.
Mrs. Nack, the New York murderess,
Bbjects because some of her fellow pris
oners smoke cigarettes and "seem to
be persons of degraded habits." It
would be too bad, of course, if through
uch associations the morals of a mur
deress should become contaminated.
Five Minnesota Indians died from
the effects of drinking a patent medi
cine which they mistook for whisky,
and not a single Minnesota paper will
publish the brand of medicine for fear
probably of giving it free ad. for those
who wish a sure cure for all the ills
Df life.
Chicago is laying plans for more ex
tensive public improvements this year
than have been undertaken there be
fore. In sewers, street paring, bridges
and elevation of tracks, and the ad
justment of grades in various parts of
the city her budget already calls for
eight millions of dollars.
A Kansas clergyman sweetly, re
marks: "If a hare-brained, silly, mim
icking, foolish, sleek, well-groomed
dancing man should waltz around a
ballroom with my wife I would hunt
him up the next morning and kick him
around the public square." Ie there
any law In Kansas to compel a min
ister's wife to dance with anyone
against her will?
When a child swallows a large ar
ticle in these times the X ray is called
In, and if the object Is located in the
itomach it Is usually recovered with
out difficulty or danger. A 3-year-old
girl in New York last week swallowed
her mother's chain bracelet, set with
diamonds and rubles, and the X ray
followed Its alimentary Journey with
ease.
Paris housekeepers in apartments
have been accustomed to hang small
wire safes containing food outside the
kitchen windows overlooking court
yards where carpets are beaten. A
dentist who has been looking Into
the matter says that millions of mi
crobes find their way to the food thus
exposed. He has published a paper
which will probably lead to the aban
donment of the old custom.
Tourists returning from Europe here
after will limit their baggage to a val
uation of $1U0 unless they are willing
to pay duty on all beyond that amount
The average allowed has been about
f 1.000 to each person. A man and his
wife who arrived in New York a few
days ago passed through free with 2(10
articles of wearing apparel. Including
about 1,200 yards of silk and toilet ap
pliances, many bought for presents,
Oiled a large chest. v
Mnstapha Bey, the Turkish minister
t Washington, will have another
chance to score off American sym
; pathlaers with th victims of the Sul
tan. He referred the other day to the
Urbana lynching, when asked about
Turkish outrages, and an even more
brutal and shocking affair which oc
curred In Maryland, when a negro
art aa fry tinder sentence of death was
torn front the sOrcrs of the law and
kJc&eJaad strangled to death In brand
Uytt t? an Infuriated mob.
, ataasBan9SMnv3B
; fa IZuCm Oouraat toCji a story of
tJbfia old days. Too toys aasd to
,t- rrtotars' "tartar to rat
i. trw us t , csaarz ?
- my. c ;C-J taw i
and at noon to .It down on th. "form"
In which were locked tne precious
questions. The Inky teat of that pair
of trotiHera sold for a deal mora than
the clothe were worth.
A Tennessee contemporary, whuw
motto evidently Is, "All the news al."
the time," says: "Miss Tlshle Mur
phree I all sniiles this week. No won
der whom did she see Sunday? We
J gue8 Miss Atha coukl tell us the rea
i son Art Milliard doesn't spend his Sun
' days at home. Wonder what was tlve
matter with Josle and Jim Riley this
; week?' "Mr, Riley saya he doesn't like
to have an engagement and some one
else All it. Good for Riley!" How la
the world does that paper manage to
get along without issuing extra edi
tion every day?
vne 01 me transatlantic steamers There lg a fortuIH!. awating the
which arrived in New York from Ham- gen,ug wno devlses some way to bottle
burg, recently, had undergone a re- tnIg weatht,r for use Jn thawing out
markable transformation since she was triyiMU water-pipes next December,
last on this side. She was formerly mmmmmmm
the shortest and slowest vessel of the A Texa8 uVderersays the Wash-Hamburg-American
twin-screw express mon pmt tQ have a bra8JJ
fleet, and now she Is the longest She h,g Mecut, te Bnou,d go to tDe
was taken to a Belfast ship-yard and . wno,e , tn an(1 haye flrework8 In the
new boilers were put In, increasing her '
horse-power from twelve thousand to
thirteen thousand. She was divided In
the middle, and the forward half was
extended ahead sixty-four feet. This,
was accomplished in seven minutes, to
the thirty-second of an inch The gap
noa uiivti ttiiu uirw uri, iin iiuiuvr 1
w a Bimruru, ami lur -iui trtr muic
state-rooms were added. In her new
form the vessel is almost two knots
faster than she used to be.
-- - -
The good results of warring agalnM
adulterated foods and drugs is well
illustrated In the report of the State
Board of Health of Massachusetts for
185. Whereas, in the year 1884, out
of one hundred and twenty-three sam-
pies of butter, cheese, tea, coffee and
confectionery, no less than twelve per
cent were in some way sophisticated;
of eighty-two samples collected
in July, lSiXi, under similar con
ditions, none were adulterated.
Massachusetts enacted a well-devised
food and drug statute in 18S4, and soon
after made liberal provision for its en-
forcement, and the prosecutions have
fallen off nearly one-half, and many
have come to an untimely end by the
departure of the accused offenders.
Naturally, milk is the great tempter.
Among samples tested was one con
taining water, colored with caramel
and salted. It was thought worth
while to follow the wagon from which
the specimen c-anie,
It was found that
the dealer had an eiKlit-quart can, near- coolness ani pity on poor superneateo
ly full of this liquid, and that he put a Chicago." Kansas City should sit up
portion into each of the small cans . now and "behave herself."
which he delivered. Just before leav- r
ing them, so if an inspector looked at j Ella Wheeler Wilcox says: "I once
a can, as he naturally .would, he would beard of a young man who kept mem
find it all right; nothing but the thor- orandu of the girls he had kissed. At
ough search that looked at all the cans j t reports the number had reached
showed the fraud. Nlnetv-seven per "V- Tue m!ia k 81111 luit oun "
cent of butter samples proved to be ? evidently is as Inexperienced, too.
genuine. Another phase of injurious be is young. The scalps at his belt
manufacture and traffic is revealed in do Dot represent one good season's
the make-up of the widely advertised work at tbe seashore.
blood-purifiers and nerve tonics. The " """"
vivifying effects so graphically set A Jersey City idiot who habitually
forth in the glowing advertisements Is smoked 200 cigarettes a day was finally
the result of alcohol, of which they ! A"01 try'nK to make a record. He
contain from eight to twenty-six per
cent Daily used, the alcohol habit will '
soon be hopelessly established.
The great discoveries of gold in the
Kkwvdyke region are too well authen
ticated by returning miners to be longer
doubted. According to their state
ments the region is richer than Califor
nia in its palmiest days. Although the
gold reaches this country from Alaska
it comes from the Northwest Territory
under the Dominion of Canada. The
Yukon River has lbs rUe In the North-
west Territory, and flows westward
through Alaska to the sea. It is upon
of the tributaries of the Yukon.
some
near Its head, that the gold has been
found. These streams have their rise
on the western slope of the Rocky
Vfnnntalns This terrltnrv has been
less explored than Alaska itself, and !s He 19 tlred of 1elnK "nown a deceived
doubtless rich in mineral deposits, husband killing his wife, a woman pol-
Alaska Itself promises to become a very onluK br lover- a 800 "venglng his
valuable possession. Oil and coal fields atfler- murdered kings, and outraged
-more valuable perhaps than the gold prisoners. "It is a strange fact that
mtnes-have leen found In Southeast- tDe P,ot8 of VT are even darker and
era Alaska. The account of location v terrible than those of plays."
Is not very good. The dispatch savs one should explain this affinity
that the oil fields are 350 miles west between music and murder.
of Juneau, which is a city almost due I B!g5gg
north of Sitka. A point 350 miles west ' A recreation pier has been opened on
of Juneau Is well out in the ocean. It the east side of New York this season
is not Improbable, however, that the by the city authorities. It Is at the
location has been purposely mlsrepre- foot of East Third street near the tene-
sented. Preparations are being made ment . quarters of 250,000 persons,
to develop the coal and oil which will Three more will be ready by next year,
be of very great value on -the Pacific The lower story is left open for trade,
coast If they are as described. There Steel arches support the floor above,
will be no difficulty about transports- which Is exposed to the sea on three
tkn in the navigable season as soon as aides and affords room for 3,000 peo-
the products of Alaska hare been de- pie. Harmless refreshments are al-
veloped In quantities warranting the lowed, and the city supplies music sev-
estaWU-hment of numerous lines of eral times a week,
steamships. The water ways are nu- j -merous
and there would be no great j weird tale comes from the expedl-
obstacle to short route to the gold tw, 0f young Jesse Grant, who obtaln-
country of the'itofthwest Territory
through Sooth
Old Not Miss fire, I
eaaCVAlaska.
A flreeuwburg, Pa., mother whUe group It Is said that the Hert Indlans
cAiaarltjfng her . 12 year old son. the came down from the mountains and
otlieT'dny, exploded several packages threatened to eat the intruders If tbey
of toy pistol caps which were concealed did not leave. Not being desirous of
In the-yowth's Up pocket When the furnishing a meal for the alortglnea.
smoke had doared a way she discovered the whites sailed away. This Is the
that the family was oat one suit of first Intimation that cannibalism ex
boys oiotfitog and had a badly kvcer-1 hrts w the western herolsp!ere. The
aied yotrtb to can for. This is another cannibals evidently were not hungry
warnsng, to aaotbara to make sure or else they were particular as to their
their aona art not loaded before apply- food. It was at least considerate of
taf the paddse. Yon an liable to find
almost aayttftaf hi a hoy's pockets.
ThfWsrsf
H truth foa woaM help me with this
ttr.Hmnf" r
Ta, daar, whafa tat e&ewkjr
"f tmt laav what to pat la the
j TOPICS OF THE TIMES.
A CHOICE SELECTION OF INTER
ESTING ITEMS.
Co Meats and Criticiaasa Baaed Uaoa
aa Happaaiaga ot the Day Hla
torical and Nti Note.
A Boston paper asserts that "the ex
treme torrldlty has been ameliorated.'
Translated into American this means
"cooler."
A Boston man advertises that he will
teach Journalism by mafl. Why doesn't
be run over to New York and do it in
person.
I If you start for Alaska to earn $50
a day, remember before you start that
yellow dog meat will cost you $5 a
j pound up there.
evening." Probably he will have them.
The Warren (Pa.) Chronicle asserts
that "three catfish were caught below
Hi, niranl A a in H f 1 1 rtn v rnnrnLtur hr
(wo wel(rhlni? ether fifty-four
poundj They mmt h Tfry
njall boV!
Chicago Times-Herald: 'The Salt
lAke Herald says that 'Chicago U now
a livliur heL' and a San Francisco
'clergyman claims that 'hell is utterly
devoid of beat.' We submit that this
establishes au alibi for Chicago."
A Georgia wife has aked for a di
vorce because her husband knocked her
a0WUi blackened ber eyes, Jumped upon
her with hobnailed boot and broke
' everal ribs. Some of those Southern
! wonan are terribly setwiUve and take
offense eaniiv.
The author of "Silver Threads
Among the Gold" is reported to have
been arrested in New York on a charge
of abandoning his wife. He no longer
agrees with the fellow who said, "Give
me the "right to make the songs of a
nation and I care not who makes the
laws."
The Kansas City Times says: "Kan
sas Ctty holds one foot in the pellucid
Missouri, wriggles the other In the rip
pling Kaw, and while the breeze from
the Gulf toy with her treetops gazes In
' smoked 170 within three hours. The
dispatches Mild a physician was called
and despaired of saving the fiend's life;
though why anybody should wnnt to
save a life devoted to such senseless
and disgusting alms Is beyond ken.
j Women In Maryland are permitted
to wear men's apparel. In a test case
In Baltimore the authorities decided
that there Is no law that forbids the
wearlngs of men's garments by worn-
cn' Prided no offense is committed
a.alnrt PDbllc "J- ln onf
therefore, women have the right of
free and unlimited trousers, cutaways
nd bell-crowned hats without asking
the aid or consent of anyltody.
Ilerr Materllnck complains that there
too much tragic action on the Stage.
concession from the Mexican Gov
ernment and has been exploring some
latands In the Gulf of California. When
the ntuty lauded upon the Tlburuti
them to give Mr. Grant fair waning of
toeif Intentions and docMedly politic
of hUn to withdraw,
Word oomoa from Nsrraganaatt Plar
that Ed wand Parfear Dsaooo la on the
pstai of IghtVz doaaa wttt Ursa dpb
gaaahavt wtw tata4 haczM
the ice out of a plU'her of drinking wa
ter the other day and put It on his
head. We trust this unfortunate af
fair may be arranged satisfactorily
without bloodshed. Tin? set complain
ed of may have left the otber thirsty
clubmen in the lurch, it is true, but it
must be remembered that Mr. Deacon
is a hot-headed man. a very hot -beaded
man at times.
The hot-air garbage cremation n
paratus which was used to destroy
waste matter at the World s Fair in
Chicago was so successful that it is
now used In many cities and villages.
One of the most valuable points of
these furnaces 'Is the complete incin
eration of all substances placed upon
their grate-bars by the passage of heat
over, under, and through the material,
and the destruction of the results of
this combustion by means of a second
fire, the ultimate product being car
bonic acid gas. In a highly heated
state, which Is discharged and dissi
pated by the chimney." In one place
where the cremator Is used the ex
penses of operating are now thirty
eight per cent, less than they were four
years ago.
Elisabeth Bisland, inveighing against
the selfishness of American parents,
says that it is the general custom in
America for parents to spend upon the
luxuries and pleasures of the family
life the whole Income. The children
are educated according to this stand
ard of expenditure, and are accustomed
to all Its privileges. No thought is
taken of the time when they must set
up households for themselves almost
Invariably upon a very different scale
from the one to which they have been
used. To the American parent this
seems only a natural downfall. They
remark cheerfully that they themselves
began In a small way, and it will do
the young people no harm to acquire a
similar experience forgetting that in
most cases their children have been
educated to a much higher standard of
ease than that of their own early life.
They do not consider It obligatory to
leave anything to their children at
death. They have used all they could
accumulate during their own life-time
let their children do the same. The
results of the system are crystallized
in the American saying: "There are
but three generations from shirt
sleeves to shirt-sleeves." The man who
acquires wealth spends what he makes.
Ills children, brought up in luxury,
struggle unsuccessfully against con
ditions to which they are unused, and
the grandchildren begin in their shirt
sleeves to toil for the wealth dissipated
by the two preceding generations.
Alaska would doubtless le overrun
with gold diggers In a few weeks if It
was only a little more accessible, for
the stories of the wealth of the pre
cious metal that lies along the valley
of the Yukon River rival the lest liter
ature of the '49 days. The latest from
this cold gold clime consists of speci
mens which were sent down to Cali
fornia for testing, and they show
enormous returns of gold. The gold
find, however, In this territory is not
new, although the facts are Just be
ginning to be appreciated by the pub
lic. The unanimous verdict of Investi
gators In this northern country has al
ways leen that gold abounded in great
quantities, but the difficulty has been
to get it out and away with any de
gree of profit. Mining on a small scale
has been practically impossible. The
adventurer without money would have
no chance to strike It rich, even if he
could manage to raise the sum neces
sary to take him to the country. The
rigors of the winter preclude any work
in that season, and the absence of any
commercial facilities in the new min
ing districts previts any digging that
Is not couuectedvlth some large or
ganized plan. But for the company or
individuals with capital and enterprise
the prosect seems to be of the best.
The introduction of Improved machin
ery which has already begun and the
enlargement of the transportation fa
cilities on the long Yukon River will
soon bring these golden riches within
t-asy reach of the States. The stories
of the finds, however, must be taken
with the usual reservations. There
will be natural exaggerations not only
of the richness of the gold but of the
character of the hardships that must
lie endured. Alaska is no balmy Cali
fornia. There Is no comforting warmth
roost of the year to sustain the spirits
of the wearied seeker after wealth.
The battle for gold there Includes a
battle with a hostile nature which ha
guarded ber treasure house with Icy
blasts for all these centuries. It is no
place for the laggard, If all reports be
true, but for the man of courage and
determination It seems to be a land
of great promise.
Air From the Upper Regions.
The curiosity of modern man of
science knows no bounds. One of hit
latest exploits is trapping and bringitib;
down to the ground, with the aid of an
automatic apparatus attached to a bal
Vxm, specimens of the upper air from
tlie height of almost ten mile.. The ap
paratus and the experiment were of
French invention, and at a mcent meet
ing of the Academy of HcJouces lo
Paris Mr. Oailtatet reported tike rvnvM
of the analysts of the captured air,
It simply showed lli.-t nt the height of
51.000 feet above c:i level f!w 'omiwa.
itioti of the atmoHpliere in practically
the sain as at the surface of the earth,
although Its density, of course, Is corn
parativeiy Kght London Tld-Blta.
octal aTaraatlfi.
At a social gathering the other nlghl
Miss Aureola Smith said to Amlnldab
Jones: "Don't yon think lira. Robert.
sod gowns herself dreadruHyr
"Well, ate to a Mttls howane-yo
o," anawensd Mr, Joasa, "hot Mr.
Robertson panta himself la acqaMu
toata." BvCafta Oonriac,
tot a a Worthy Example.
Marshall County, Iowa, has the dis
tinction of possessing the first organl
tatlon In the State that has for Its ul
timate object the betterment of coun
ty roads.
The call Issued for a meeting of the
road supervisors of the country some
time ago has met with a hearty re
sponse, and at the meeting at least
two-thirds of the 124 road supervisors
in the county were present. The coun
ty association is now a fact and should
be an Instrument of good. The attend
ince was very flattering to those who
were Instrumental In bringing about
the organization.
For Good Hoaris.
Good roads, good country roads, are
becoming more and more a necessity
at the day and age. The advent of the
bicycle has created a demand for good
roads among a class which before Its
advent had little care for country
roads. The probable early advent of
horseless carriages will tend to em
phasize that demand and will add to
the fast growing good-roads army. To
the farmer good roads ever have been
a necessity, which, alas, be has had
In too many Instances to get along
without In 18H3 the agricultural de
partment of the Federal government
made an Investigation Into the road
questjon. The object of that Investi
gation was to secure some reliable In
formation concerning the cost of mo
tive power to farmers and how affect
ed by country roads. The first thing
learned was that there were on United
States farms 53,393.888 draught ani
mals, of which 14,213,83" were horses,
2,331,027 mules and 30.840,021 oxen,
having a total vnlue of $1,721,535,708.
In other words,.to do their hauling the
farmers of the United States had In
vested In round numbers 1,750 mil
lions of dollars. That Is a pretty large
sum; If invested at 5 per cent. Interest
It would produce nearly $1,750,000
each week. Of these draught uuiiuals
more than 1G,5(),000 are horses and
mules, worth at a modest estimate
more than $100,000,000. Now, It costs
to feed them on an average, one year
with another, about $4,000,000 a day,
but what Is of greater Interest, is the
estimate that bad roads cost the farm
ers $15 a year for each horse and mule
In his service. Taking this estimate
as a basis it will be seen that the farm
ers pay each year for bad roads $248,
182,4iO. That Is, If Prof. Latfs, of
Perdue University, estimated cost of
reconstructing bad roads over Into good
roads be taken as a basis, the bad roads
of the country cost the farmers enough
each year to build 210,504 miles of
good roads. If built In a straight line
that number of miles of road would
encircle the world nearly nine times,
and would cross and recross the Uni
ted States altout fifty times. Bicyclists
must have good roads If they would
have the full emjoyuient of their
wheels, the horseless carriages must
have good roads, and over and above
all the farmer more than either must
have good roads, therefore if these ele
ments would unite as one insistent and
Intcltik'n'.t vholc fnr gooj mid, no
Stat' La ;.'.l.in..v would i:ar.' i ignore
so universal a request Herald (Grand
Rapids. Mich.).
The Voices or Bullet.
From 11:30 onward for two hours
the Turks did their very best. Their
fire was Incessant, like the "indepen
dent firing" which Is so comforting a
business Just before the enjoyable
charge on a big Aldershoi field day.
We kept a constant watch, and fired
when possible, but as we were against
the skyline, the enemy had a much
better sight of us than we had of them.
However, from behind our little wall
we could lutigh and say "Kale oral"
("Good morning to you") as the bullets
howled past
By the way, the voice of a bullet
varies. Tltere Is the thin high whistle,
to which no one pays any attention
after the first half hour. There is the
prolonged moan, "the cry of a lost
spirit" as a novelist might say. There
is the wolfish howl, which for some
reason always seems to be taking one
on the flank instead of fairly In front;
and last of all there is the low, Ill-tempered
buzz, as though the nasty thing
bad got out of bed the wrong side, as
children say. It is far the most terrify
ing, especially If it suddenly stops aa
the bullets strikes something close at
hand. It was to those bullets only that
we politely wLshed "Good morning."
War Correspondence of the London
Chronicle.
Iabor Cure for Insane.
The managers of St Elizabeth's In
sane asylum In Washington, D. C, are
engaged In an experiment that will be
watched with great curiosity by those
who are Interested In the care of that
class of unfortunates. A farm has
been rented near Oxen Hill, Md., which
contains fifty acres of good garden soil,
twenty acres of hillside, sixty acres of
corn and wheat land, 'with about 100
acres of woodland and pasturage. New
bulldlugi have been erected, and skilled
farmers bare been . employed, who
have the patience and Judgment to deal
with men and women who are mentally
distracted. Under these conditions an
attempt will be made to solve the
problem of the labor cure for the in
sane. Bach patient will be Intrusted
with a certain degree of responsibility,
and persuaded bat not compelled to
undertake a certain amount of labor,
which, with a diet carefully regulated
and ragular haara of atoap aad racrea
tfeav wtt fatsUi an axparlmaot uadar
the bt condition possible. As Ir.
Godding, the superintendent of St.
Elizabeth's, put it: "It Is the inleution
to establish a pioneer colony of hwane
men, carefully selected from the quiet
class of Inmates, to whom a borne
where tbey can sit under their own
vine and fig tree, enjoying the fruit of
tbolr lalors, will be something hitherto
unknown to their hospital life. A mod
erate outlay for Inexpensive farm cot
tages, a little patience in the develop
ment of the work, and an abiding faith
in tlie result, is all that is necled
to take them away from the hospital
atmosphere, and out of the new farm
vistas to open wider horizons to th
every-day life of the Insane."
Too Aspiring.
It is a popular fallacy that the lower
walks of life are oien to any who can
not succeed In the upper walks. A
different view of tlie subject la sug
gested by a story which comes from
Birmingham, England. Even the
humblest profession demands certain
qualities, If it Is to be prosecuted with
success.
It was one of those drizzling, dispirit
ing evenings, when a superabundance
of luternal comfort is necessary to bal
ance tlie outward dreariness. The
shops in Corporation street had Just
been lighted for the evening, and from
the doorway of one of them a clean,
well-dressed little boy lookd with
longing eyes at the gutter urchins, with
their damp bundles of nowsimpcrs and
matches. To that small victim of
respectability and refined surroundings
the free life of these street aralm pres
ented au irresistible charm. Presently
the lsy overcame his diffidence, and
leaving tlie shelter of the doorway,
sought one of the newsboys.
"Do you think," he humbly asked,
after a few preliminary words, "that I
Bhould be able to earn money as you
do, If I bought some papers and came
to this corner to sell them'"
The newsboy looked him over critical
ly. "What docs the likes of you want
selling papers?" be asked.
"I in tln-d of being Idle at home,"
replied the small aspirant
"Well," said the other, with th
serious air of an authority on the sub
ject In question, "d yer think yer could
'old a bundle o' paiH-rs In one 'and,
race like the mischief, lick three or
four boys blgger'n ycrself with the
other 'ujkI, while yer keeps two more
off with yer feet, and takes a toff's
ha'iK'tuiy, an' yells yer papers ail the
timer
"N-o, I don't," replied the well
dressed little boy.
"Then y're no good In the Corpora
tion street news agency l!" replied
the ragged authority. "You'd better
git yer people to 'prentice yer to tho
clergy, or something light"
Fireball Freaks.
On July 1, 1801, a Are ball entered a
carpenter's cabin iuar Scbliclxm. The
carpenter was sitting on tlie edge of a
led, on which a child was sleeping. A
ball of fire sprang suddenly and with a
loud nole from the fireplace to tlie ited.
which was Immediately shattered.
Tli"n the ball rolled very slowly to the
opposite wall of the room, through
which, or the floor. It apparently van
ished with another fearful crai)i with
out setting fire to anything. The man's
wife and another child were sleeping
in a second bed, and the Imby tn a
cradle, all In the same room, but now;
of the live persons was wounded or
even stunned. All complained of head
:;' ;r.:;l ib ,ifn- n i n jiec.-iirst of l!:
l.....y siilj ,:..r.... r w n.N I
the room, but they soon recovered.
S.::c fractures were discovered about
the stove and chimney.
Less fortunate were the children in a
schoolhouse In Hoiilu, France, who
were visited by a fireball while at their
afternoon prayers. It wa precede! by
a shower of llino, wood and stones.
The ball, which was small, rolled along
under the benches, killing thrive of the
children, and went out through a wlu
dowpanc, In which It merely made a
round hole, whereas all the other panes
were shattered. M. Ilagenau In Ap
plotou's Popular Science Monthly.
The Door Npring.
"In no one single Utile thing," said
tlie middle-aged man, "has there beu
a greater advance since I was a boy
than In tlie Introduction of the door
spring into comparatively common use.
1 supHMte there must be now hundreds
of itftteut on door springs. Some of
the springs are well nigh perfect It
Is difficult to see In what respect they
could be improved. But the main fact
is the door spring Itself and Its com moo
use in buildings of a more or less pub
lic character, and in many others as
welL
"We don't shut doors now nearly as
much as we used to; we don't stop to
shut them. We are spared Uiat trouble
and we save time. We open the door
ami push on through and leave Ui
door to take care of Itself, In the time
that It would have taken us to close
it we are six, eight, ten fit off; but
tlie door is not neglected; it shuts
Itself, calmly, quietly, and with cer
tainty as the man inarches away.
There Is less slamming of doors now
than ever, and fewer doors are left
open; and the saving of time effected
by the use of the self-closing door Is
in the aggregate tremendous.
"Truly It no minor feature is Urn
progress of cll!izatlon more apiwrent
than In the present common 0f
door spring." New York Hun.
Paralrsla? Coolnraa.
"Your pocketbook, young woman,"
demanded the footpad, as be reached
forward.
"Haven't any," said the young wom
an, "this Is a hand book."
And ahe walked away leaving him
paralysed by ber coolness.
Look out for a maa who aaya ha Is a
cynic; ha la aura to ha tha moat trast
laf craaturt aa atria.
ft-.
'it ' .f