A " " . . .at . n. V tm1
TO THE STORE CLERK
:NCOURACMENT for sales
men mid SALESWOMEN.
let. Ttlmmge Preaches to a Mighty
Hoata of Toilers-lie Gives Good Ad
v.ce for the Life that Now la aa
Well aa for the life to Come.
Ou- Washington Pnlpit.
This sen.. on of Dr. Talmage addressed
b the pv;it host of clerks in stores aud
ttiice and : ..dories will inspire such per
aitist with healthful ambition and allay
uauy of their annoyances. Text, Acts
:vi 14. ' And a certain woman named
i-ydiu, a seller of purple, of the city of
I'hyath-a, which worshiped God, heard
w hose heart the Lord opened." Pro
verbs sxii., 2t): "Seest thon a man dili
;eDt in bin business? He shall stand be
ore kings."
The first passage introduces to you Lyd
a, a Christian inert-nantess. Her busi
iess is to deal in purple cloths or silks.
She is not a giggling noneutity, but a
jruetieal woman, not ashamed to work
'or her living. All the other women of
Philippi and Thyatira have been forgot
en, but God has made immortal in our
:ext Lydia, the Christian saleswoman.
The other text shows you a man with
lead and hand and heart and foot all
may toiling on up until he gains a prince
y success. '"Seest thou a man diligent
n his business? He shall stand before
sings."
Great encouragement in these two pas
lages for men and women who- will be
ntsy, but no solace for those who are
waiting for good luck to show them at the
'oot of the rainbow a casket of buried
fold. It is foliy for anybody in this
world to wait for something to turn up.
!t will turn down. The law of thrift is as
nexoraMe as the law of the tides. For
tune, the magician, may wave her wand
n that direction until castles and p-t'nces
.ouie, but she will after awhile iuvcri the
same w.tnd, and all the splendors will
vanish into thin air.
There are certain styles of behavior
jvhich lead to usefulness, honor and per
aianent success, ami there are certain
styles of behavior which lead to dust. dis
honor and moral default. I would like to
ire the ambition of young people. I have
ao sympathy with those who would pre
pare young folks for life by whittling
Iowa their expectations. That man or
aoman will be worth nothing to church
ir state ho begins life con ed down. The
business of Christianity is not to quench
but to direct human ambition. Therefore
t is that I utter words of encouragement
Iu those who are occupied as clerks in the
stores and shops ami bauking houses of
.he country. Ihey are not an exceptional
.'lass. They belong to a great company of
'ens of thousands who are in this country,
amid circumstances which will either
mike or break theui for time and for
jteruity. Many of these people have al
ready achieved a Christian manliness and
i Christian womanliness which will be
their passport to any position. 1 have seen
their trials. I have watched their per
plexities. There are evils abroad which
need to be hunted down aud dragged out
into the noonday light.
Only a Schoolrnom.
Jn the first place, I counsel clerks to re
member that for the most part their clerk
ship is only a school from which they are
to be graduated. It takes about eight
years to get into one of the learned profes
sion!. It takes aliout cipht years to get to
be a merchant. Some of you will be clerks
It 11 your lives, but the vast majority of
you ore only in a transient )osition. Af
ter awhile some I)eceinlier day the head
men of the firm will call you into the back
office, and they will say to you: "Now, you
have done well by u.s. We are going to do
well by you. We invite you to have an in
terest in our concern." You will bow to
that, edict very gracefully. Getting into a
street car to go home an old comrade will
meet you and say, "What makes you look
so happy to-night?" "Oh," you will say,
"nothing, nothing!" Hut in a few days
your name will blossom on the sign.
Either in the store or bank where you are
now, or in some other store or bank, yon
will take a higher position than that
which you now oeupy. So I feel I am
now addressing people '.;o will yet have
their hand on the helm of the world's
commerce and you will turn it this way or
that. Now clerks, but to be bankers, im
porters, insurance company directors,
shippers, contractors, superintendent of
railroads--your voice mighty "on 'change"
standing foieniost in the great, financial
Hid religious enterprises of the day. For,
though we who are in the professions may
4in the ijnt form plead for the philanthro
pies, after all, the merchants must come
. forward with their millions to sustain the
movement.
Be therefore patient and diligent in this
tiansient position. You are now where
you can learn things you can never learn
in any other place. What you consider
your disadvantages are your grand oppor
tunity. You see an affluent father some
Jay come down a prominent street with
bis son who has just graduated from the
university and establishing him in busi
ness, putting rti,i)K) of capital in the
tore. Well, you are envious. You say,
'Oh, if I only had a chance like that:
young man if I only hair a father to put
loO.OW in a business for me, then I would
have some chance in the world." Ke not
envious. You have advantages over that
young man which he has not over you.
As well might I come down to the docks
ahen a vessel is about to sail for Val
paraiso and say, "Let me pilot this ship
at to sea." Why, I would sink crew
lid cargo In-fore I got out of the harbor
imply because I know nothing about
pilotage. Wealthy sea captains put their
aons before the mast for the reason that
they know it is the only place where they
. can learn to be successful sailors. It is
Mly under drill that people get to under
stand pilotage nnd navigation, and I want
jpov to understand that it takes no more
: afcill to conduct vessel out of the harbor
and aeroa the sea than to steer a com
Bierritri establishment clear of the rocks.
Tm tie every day the folly of people go
lag lata a bnsiness they know nothing
boat. A man make fortune in one
aaaaVita. thlaka there ia another occtipa
sfea man comfortable, goes into it and
ftaka aJL ' Many of the commercial estab
Ka&acata of onr cities are firing their
' eSrrfes a mercantile education as thorough
." Taw or Harvard or Princeton arc giv-
- "Tf-I. The reason there are aa
jrirsadtrtag w kaaiacas from
' vt-tytl'tzsvm tlartr early mn-
-j-- -- ,r i - fii. Aak tfaa
- - V ni tkey
-
You can afford to endure wilderness
nii.rch if it is going to end iu tne vine
yards and orchards of the promised land.
But you say, "Will the womanly clerks
in our stoics have promotion?" Y'es.
Time is coming when wome. will lie as
well paid for their toil in mercantile cir
cles as rr.en are now paid for their toil
Time is coming when a woman will be
allowed to do anything she can do well.
It is only a little while ago when women
knew nothing of telegraphy, and they
were kept out of a great many commer
cial circles where they are now welcome,
and the time will go on until the woman
who at one counter in a store sells $.i,(mh)
worth of goods in a year will get as high
a salary as the man who at the other
counter of the same store sells $5,HM(
worth of goods. All honor to Lydia, the
Christian saleswoman!
Disci pline.
The second counsel I have to give to
clerks is that you seek out what are the
lawful regulations of your establishment
and then submit to them. Every well or
dered bouse has its usages. In military
life, ou ship's deck, in commercial life,
there must he order and discipline. Those
itoople who do not learn how to obey will
never know how to command. 1 will tell
you what young man will make ruin,
financial and moral. It is the young man
who thrusts his thumb into his vest and
says: "Nobody shall dictate to me. I am
my own master. I will not submit to the
regulations of this house." Between an
establishment in which all the employes
are under thorough discipline and the es
tablishment in which the employes do
about as they choose is the difference be
tween success and failure, between rapid
accumulation and utter Bankruptcy, Ho
not come to the store ten minutes after
the time. Be there within two seconds,
and let. it be two seconds before instead
of two seconds after. Io no think any
thing too insignificant to do wel'.. 'sot
say. "It's only just once." From the
most important transaction in commerce
down to the particular style in w hich you
tie a string around a bundle obey orders.
I .to not yet easily disgusted. While others
in the store may lounge or fret or com
plain, you go with ready hands and cheer
ful face and contented spirit to your
work. When the bugle sounds, the good
soldier asks no questions, but shoulders
his knapsack, tills his canteen and listens
for the omiii.-im! of "March!"
Io not get the idea that your interests
and those of your employer arc antago
nistic. His success will he your honor. His
embarrassment will be your dismay. Ex
pose none of the frailties of the firm. Tell
no store secrets. Do not blab. Itchtiff
those persons who come to lind out from
clerks what ought never to be known out
side the sloro. Do not !e among those
young men who take on a mysterious air
when something is said against the firm
that employs them, as much as to say, "1
could tell you something if I would, but I
won't." I to not 1h' among those w ho im
agine they can build themselves up by
pulling somebody else down. Be not
ashamed to be a subaltern.
Again. I counsel clerks to search out
what, are the unlawful and dishonest de
mands of an establishment nnd resist
them. In the ti.lMHt years that have pass
ed there has never been an occasion when
it was one's duty to sin against God. It
is never light to do wrong. If the head
men of the firm expect of you dishonesty,
disappoint them. "Oh." you say. "1 should
lose my place then." Better lose your
place than lose your soul. But you will
not lose your place. Christian heroism
is always honored. Y'ou go to the bead
man of your store anil say: "Sir, I want
to serve you. I want to oblige you. It. is
from no lack of industry on my part, but
this thing seems to me to 1m- wrong, and
it is a sin against my conscience, it is a
sin against God, anil I beg you, sir, to ex
cuse mo." He may flush up and swear,
but he will eoj .down, and he will have
more admiration for yon than for those
who submit to his evil "dictation, and
while they sink you will rise. Do not be
cause of seeming temporary advantage
give up your character.
A nnoyances.
Again. I counsel all clerks to compter
the trials of their particular position. One
great trial for clerks is the inconsidera
tion of customers. There are people who
are "entirely polite everywhere else, but
gruff and dictatorial and contemptible
when they come into a store to buy any
thing. There are thousands of men and
women who go from store to store to price
things without any idea of purchase.
They are not satisfied until every roll of
goods is brought down and they have
pointed out all 1he real or imaginary de
fects. They try on all kinds of kid gloves
and stretch them out of shape, and they
put on all styles of cloak ami walk to the
mirror to see how they look, and then they
sail out of the store, saying, "I will not
tke it to-day," which means, "I don't
want it at all," leaving the clerk umid a
wreck of ribbons and laces and cloths to
smooth out $1.MH) worth of goods, not a
cent of which did lhat man or woman buy
or expect to buy. Now. I call that a dis
honesty on the part of the customer. If
a boy runs into a store and takes a roll
of cloth off the counter and sneaks out
into the street, you nil join in the cry
pellioell, "Slop li.ief!" When 1 si-e you
go into a store not expecting to buy any
thing, but to price things, stealing the
time of the clerk and stealing the time
of his employer. I say, too, "Stop thief!"
If I were asked which class of persons
most need the grace of God amid their
annoyances, I would say, "Dry goods
clerks." All the indignation of customers
about the high prices conies on the clerk.
For instance, a great war comes. The
manufactories are closed. 'Jlie people go
off to battle. The price of goods runs up.
A customer conies into a store. Good
have gone up. "How much is that
worth?" "A dollar." "A dollar? Out
rageous! A dollar!" Why, who is to
blame for the fact that it has got to lie a
dollar? Does the indignation go out to
the manufacturers on the banks of the
Merrimac because they have closed up?
No. Does the indignation go out toward
the employer who is out at his country
sent? No. It comes on the clerk. He
got up the war. He levied the taxes. He
puts up the rents. ()f course the clerk!
Then a great trial come to clerk in the
fact that they see the parsimonious side of
human nature. You talk about lies be
hind the counter there are just hn many
lies before the counter.
Had Kiu-lorera.
.Then there are nil the trial which come
t4 clerk from the trefsiment of inconsid
erate employers. There are professed
C hrlstlsn men who have no more regard
f ,r their clerk than they have for the
.,-ales on which the augara are weighed.
j clerk I no more than ao much, store
f araitare. No consideration for their
rtrhta ar Intereata. Not one word f en
rajpaaent from annriae to annaet, aar
f;m Sunmty ta December, bat wkea
anything goes wrong-a streak of 4o" oa
the counter or a box with tin cover off
thunder showers of scolding. Men imperi
ous, capricious, cranky toward their
clerks, their whole manner as much as to
say, "All the interest I have in you ia ta
see what I can get out of you." Then
there are all the trials of incompetent
wages, r.ot in such times as these, when
if a man gets half a salary for his ser
vices he ought to be thankful, but I mean
in prosperous times. Some of you remem
ber when the war broke out and all mer
chandise went up aud merchants were
made millionaires in six months by the
simple tise in the value of goods. Did the
clerks get advantage of that rise? Some
times; not always. I saw estate gather
ed in those times over which the curse of
God has hung ever since. The cry of un
paid men aud women in those stores
reached the Lord of Sabaoth, and the in
dignation of God has been around those
establishments ever since, flashing in the
chandeliers, glowing from the crimson up
holstery, rumbling in the long roll of the
tenpiu alley. Such men may build up
palaces of merchandise heaven high, but
after awhile a disaster will come along
and will put one hand on this pillar and
another hand on that pillar aud throw it
self forward until down will come the
whole structure, crushing the worshijMTs
as grapes are mashed iu the wine press.
Then there are boys ruined by lack of
compensation. In how many prosperous
stores it has been for the last twenty
years that Itoys were given just enough
money to teach them how to steal. Some
were seized upon by the police. The vast
majority of instances were not known. A
lad might better starve to death on a
blastiil heath than take one farthing from
his employer. Woe be to that employer
who unnecessarily puts a temptation iu
a boy's way.
Good tniptoverw.
h, w hat a contrast between those men
and Christian merchants who to-day are
sympathetic with their clerks, when they
pay the salary, acting in this way: "This
salary that I give you is not till my inter
est in you. You are an immortal niau;
you are an immortal woman. I am inter
ested in jour present and your everlasting
welfare. I want you to undei stand that
if 1 ai;i a little higher up in this store I
am beside you in Christian sympathy."
Co bit' k forty or fifty years to Arthur
Tappuu's store iu New York, a man who-e
worst enemies net it (jueslioned his hon
esty. Every morning he brought all the
clerks, and the accountants, and the
weighers into a room for devotion. They
sang, they prayed, they exhorted. (Jn
Monday morning the clerks were asked
where they had attended church on the
previous day and what the sermons were
about. It must have sounded strangely,
that voice of praise along the streets
where the devotees of Mammon were
conn ing their goldeu bends, ion say
Arthur Tnppan failed. Yes, he was un
fortunate, like a great many good men.
but I understand he met all his obliga
tions before he left this world, and I know
that be died iu the peace of the gospel,
and that he is before the throne of God
to-day. forever blessed. If that be fail
ing. I wish you might all fail.
There are a great many young men and
young women who want a word of en
couragement, Christian encouragement.
One smile tf good cheer w ould be worth
more to them to-morrow morning in their
places of business than a present of $15,
ISKl ten years hence.
The KimhI Leason.
My word is to all clerks 1m- mightier
than your temptations. A Sandwich Isl
ander used to think when he slew an ene
my all the strength of that enemy cam
into his own right arm. And I have tt
tell you that every misfortune you cou
iiuer is so much added to your own moral
power. With oiimisiteuce for a lever and
the throne of God for, a fulcrum you can
move earth and heaven. While there are
other young men putting the cup of sin to
their lips, you stoop down and drink out
of the fountains of God and you will rise
up strong to thrash the mountains. O
young man, while you have goods to sell,
remember you iiave a soul to save!
After the last store has been closed, af
ter the li st bank has gone down, after the
shullle of the puick feet oti the custom
house steps hijs stopped, after the long
line of ti.erchatilinen on the sea have tak
en sail of flame, after Washington and
New York and London and Yicniia have
gone down into the grave where Thebes
and l' ibylon and Tyre lie buried, after
the great fire bells of the judgment day
have tolled at the burning of a world on
that day nil the affairs of banking houses
and stores will come up for inspection. Oh,
what an opening of account books! Side
by side Ihe clerks and the men who em
ployed them. Every invoice made out,
all the labels of goods, all certificates of
slock, all the lists of prices, all private
marks of the firm, now explained so every
body can understand them. All the maps
of cities that were never built, but iu
which lots were soK. All bargains, nil
gouging, all snap judgments, all false
entries, all adulteration of liquor with
copM-ras and strychnine. AH mixing of
teas and sugars and coffees and syrups
with cheaper material. All embezzle
ment of trust funds. AH swindles in coal
ami iron and oil and silver and stock. On
that day, when the cities of this world are
smoking In the last conflagration, the
trial will go on, and down in an ava
lanche of destruction will go those who
wronged man or woman, insulted God and
deiicil the judgment. Oh, that will be a
great day lor you, honest Christian clerk)
No getting up early, no retiring late, no
walking around with weary limbs, but a
mansion iu which to live and a realm ol
light ami love and joy over which to hold
everlasting dominion. Hoist him up from
glory to glory, nnd from song to song, and
froir. throne to throne, for, while other
go dowa ktto the sen with their gold like
a millstone hanging to their neck, thit
one shall come up the heights of nme
thyst and alabaster, holding in bis right
hand the pearl of great price in a spark
ling, glittering, flaming casket.
IMvine Justice. The very moment
that the majority of the citizens of a
community choose to j?-t their living
by sidling shoddy good, by lying ad
vertlsements, and skllloiiy transfer
ring to their isx kets the wealth that
other people have produced, and pre
fer wealth even of tainted money rath
er than a crust with n mimiMkm Integ
rity, that moment, If there Is a divine
Justice in the world, that Justice It
pledged to accomplish Industrial over
throw. Rev, W. I). Hlllla, Independ
ent. Chicago, III.
The vforthteat people, are the
Injured by aoadai, aa we nauafly tM
that to ba Um bait fnilt wMcb tM
bina hart btf packing at
FASTEST HORSE
Bl'CK I'ATTEltSON, owner of
many cuttle and niatiy acre
down in the Coast country,
spent several days in San Antonio, tak
ing lu the races and other things, with
myself as chaperon. The chief attrac
tion at the races w as the black pacing
wonder, Joe Pntchen, 1 have tiot, of
late years, kept up with the horses, ami
my last impression of juicers was of
the days when Sleepy Tom, Howdy
I'.oy, Matt If Hunter mid Lucy used to
travel around the country, juittliig hi
miles from 2:12 tijiwards. Thinking;
nauglit of the future, we thought such
records marvelous.
Hence, when I saw rutehen slip easi
ly around the hulf-inile track twice and
the time for the mile was hung out.
2:"S, I was jironu to utter sundry yells,
indicative of admiration and enthusi
asm. Hut Kuek was strangely silent
n:id seemingly Indifferent. I knew his
love and appreciation for a gissl borne,
his pruneness to express himself very
vociferously, aud, wondcriug, asked
him why he was as he was. lietweoii
heats of a slow class trot lie told me:
"I've sjH-n a horse that could pace a
heap faster and kfK'j) It up a heap long
er. I'm not yelling: nor tearing my
clothes over no second grades. I've rid
this horse I'm talking alsmt, and I
DHkon I'm the only man what ever
did. It was nigh about twe-jily-five
years ago. and I was working: for old
Calico Ferguaon, down cloe to wIktc
SehulenlsTg Is now. What's the rea
son they culled him Calico? Why, he
always rode a kjhvUkI pony. There
wiui't no town around there, nor no
railroad. The Dutch hadn't come in
and took up the country. It whs all
clear, open range and no fences. We
always had Hue riders out, so's to keep
the cattle In, and stoji them from drift
ing off to now heres. 1 w as a stout fel-1
ler then, stuck on myself, and didn't
believe there was anything with hair
and hoofs on what I couldn't ride. If
there was any pony around what had
a name of being: un ridable, I went over '
there, if it was luo miles, and rid him. j
"The more pitchful he was the more i
fuu it was for inc. There were lots of
wild mustangs running around there
then, mighty hard to catch and mighty
bad nuisances. We couldn't let our
own js mle.s out on the range loose but
SUICIDE OF THE
what these wild one would come
around and call them off. When a
broke !ny takes up with a wild bunch
he's sure to 1m; hwrt forever more. Now
there was one bunch what everybody
knowed, for It waa led by a stallion as
white as milk. It made no difference
how lmd this bunch wa skwrcd or
how fal they wan rauuiug, tills wliXte
pony was always In the b-nd, nnd al
ways a inelu'. Nolsxly ever see him
break a pace, no matter what was do
lag. Everj'lxly noticed him bjii! hotted
for him, but nobody could ever gtM.
clone cmough to rope him. Fellers come
from everywhere after him, but all
they ever got was a see.
"ft'eld, one settMoa, okl Ferguson ha1
a big corral built of upright jtosts to do
his branding In. It was ail dotie but a
gate, and for that an opon sjtace bad
Iteen left with a cross bar over It, from
post U post, about nine or ten feet
from the ground. One night we tied a
lot of jxjoiea Ui there to have 'can han
dy next morning. We waa all eatijig'
broakfast early, when here cornea a nig
ger cook running down from toe corral,
his eyes Just a-tuattag right oat front
his black (ace.
" 'Dat u white pacer's up dar Id de
pen a-flgbta' an' a-taaaao' wld de
pooiea.'
"We all slippad op a ttttJe draw what
rtm back of tfce corral. I ran round and
got b) UM tyaa ftfWMf. Tfca pMr Ma
arfB
EVER FOALED.
tne fiht away, and broke straight at
me, ears back HJid teeth a-showillg. I
took a skeer, turned round and jumped
for that bur. I got a boJt, and wits
a-dniwitig myself up, when Le come a
flying and jiacin' right under mo. 1
never knowed till theu the: quickness of
a man's thinking;. The horse went tin
der me so fast no split timer ever sutulc
could a-cmighf it. Yet in that frazzle
of a sv-eolld, thinks I. 'I'll tide you now,
d n yon.' I droppi-d, and lit right
.straddle of htm, sor.er back toward
his ruinj). I flattened out right for
ward, stuck my heels in bis flanks and
got a saving holt with my anus round
his lieeli, for I oNpeotoil to feel the most
toplil'th-al, joltlful pitching ever felt b.v
niau. He pitched a pit'-b. Just sorter
sqiuttod, give a sorter squeal and took
out straight north, paciu' ;ke the wind,
lie was a-going sj fast It would a took
two men, a quarter mile apart, to tell
alstut. One to say, 'Here he comes'
and t'other, 'There he goes.' I heard a
yell back to me, and turned my head a
little to look. Here cotnes the lsys
after us on their jstnies. a-givlng them
the quirt and spur every jump. The j.on
ios' necks was stretched mid 4hcy was
running their duriuh-st, but, Ixird,
Lord, Whltey wns jiuclif ten feet while
they was running five. I dasn't look
round no more. If the wind had caugh
my face, I'd Iteen strangled. The lniys'
yells growed fainter and fainter, until
right soon I heard nothing but a
lng and a huiiunlu-g In my ears. It was
the easiest rldin' I ever rid, nnd the
swiftest. It was like riding a straight
streak of lightning, sitting in a ris-k-ing
chair. He was so easy gal ted you
would a-jiut a marble in the hollow 'of
bis back, and It wouldn't n-boen Jostles!
off. Hi' was the smoothest juicer iu the
world, and if old Jehu had a-seeu him
be wouldn't a-bragged about his team
no more. I Is-gun to think it was near
time for him to soiier slacken," but the
further la- went the faster he went. We
jtHssed what I knowed was bunches iif
gra.ing cattle, but they looked like fly
ing rod and white streaks. We juissed
birds a-tlyln' the way we was goiu.
went tight past them, mid I never wa.-i
on a railroad train what could even
keep ,it with them. We Jinnse,! two or
three lliK' riders. They give a yell and
put their ponies after us. but It was
WHITE PACEU.
like a three-legged terrapin trying to
run down u skeered Jiu-k rubliit. When
we come to a ditch or low place he'd
rise In the. air and light a ;;acln' ou the
other side. I never heard hun breathe
bard once, or show the least sign of
quitting. If he sweat any, he cut the
air so fast the wind drU! It up, but the
foam flew like whip lashes. I bi-glu to
think of all thewe here ski-cry stories
about ghost horses, and witch horses,
and a queer kind of sick feeling begun
to sjinead around down m me some
where. I lifti-d up my head, caught
Uok of where we was, aim then you
bet I was sure skenml, and It was sol
id, Kiire-emoutfh tiling to ge rattled
alKtut, too. We wns twenty mlhw away,
and right In front of us, alxml a mile,
was the Colorado River. I wouldn't
a-enned a cuss few Just water, but we
was Just a bulging straight for a tace
where I knowed the upland prairie
broke right off abort, ami there was a
straight fail down over o bluff of 2(M
foot. It wasn't no distance for Uin
flying critter to i-ww, The lB-e -ei-ed
to be coming up Itjwlf right at us.
I loosened all bolts, said a prayer and
rolled off-kcr-hUm. I waa tough In
them days or aotnetntng would a-broke
when I bit the ground I waa a heap
Jarred, but I staggered up In time to
aac the borac pee right into the air off
that Muff. Then there waa nothing bat
tPw Una sky, tne graaa and tb acat.
j terI tre- whirling In n mad dntu-e all
' l ..... MM... lAt.kut lioro, ercr
UIOIJIl'l li:". lilt- 1U-1--" . - --
foaled had suicided. I fell down in a
faint right where I was. The boys
never found me till late in the day and
they brttng me to. If Vd a-stuck ou
well, did you ever bust a red. ripe U
nvito against a rsk wall that's the
way I'd a-Iooked at the bottom of them
bluff. This I'Htrbcn's padn" looks
tame nrul slow to tne. Fnct Is. Ct.it ride
has spiled nie for sihmI. I've never rUl
nothing since so fast but what it seem
ed to sorter have a slowness alxut It"
GIolic-Democrat.
Kxpensive Good Fortune.
The following story of a "great And"
a five-dollar bill and its greater con
sequences Is rvjiriutexl from the New
Y'ork World. It ltoars very iilainly the
marks of exaggeration, but there must
be. many of our readers who will know
by their owu exiierience that it is ltased
on one of the facts of human nature.
I'axtoii found a five-dollar bill on the
sidewalk the other day, and if he
should find another it would probably
bring lii in to the jxsirhouse.
"Hooray!" he said, as he janniwsl the
bill iuto his vest jiocket. "Now I'll get
that derby hat I've wanted so long. I
saw one yesterday that this bill will
Just jtay for."
The bill did pay for the hat, but not
for the two-dollar jair of gloves that
went with it.
When he went home to dinner he laid
a two-pound box of Iluyler's is-st catt
ily on his wife's hip, mid said, with a
kiss such as he bad not given her since
ihe days of their honeymoon:
(Ip-'ss what I found t inlay?" v
"I couldn't, ii;y dear."
''No, I ilou't siipitose you could. Well,
I found a livi-d.illar bill, and I thought
I could afford to lw a Utile extravagant
on the sti-eii'th of It. I jt.-i id two dollars
for tliar candy. l"ix Included. Then I
gut two of the l t seats for Hie thea
ter to-u'chl. nnd couldn't we afford a
little sin jter afterward? Bought nie an
elegant li. -w v 'tile silk necktie and the
cniest mid m.'i.-st little pi-arl j!n, and
if you want a new jalr of evening
gloves you may have them. It isn't
every day I find a five-dollar bill."
"No, thank heaven. It isn't." said his
wife to herself, mid she said stlJl more
fervently when he added:
"I bought the loveliest bit of bric-a-brac
at. an auction sale I hajijtencd to
run Into. It was a big luirtraln at five
dollars. I'd had to pay at least eight
dollars for it at a regular sale. I found
that five dollars just in time."
"How did you hairnet) to buy that lit
tle sew! tig-chair you sent homo to
day T
"Oh, that? Well. I heard you say the
other day that you wanted one when
we could afford it, and when I saw that
In a window to-day with a card on It
saying that it was only live dollars, I
thought if we couldn't afford it when
I'd Just found five dollars we never
could afford It, so I mn Iu and bought
It."
And when he had Isttiglit ninety
throe dollars aiul sixty-four cents'
worth of things with that five dollars,
bis anxious wife brought him to a halt
by saying one evening:
"Where did you tlnd that live-dollar
bill. Oeorge?"
"t tn K street."
"Well, here's nn advertisement In tho
evening jtajter stating that n jxstr wid
ow lost live dollars on K street Tues
day morning. I haven't a doubt that
the bill you found was hers, and the,
poor woman must have it back again,"
And she got it. to I'axton's disgust.
Itarbarlc ('Mnewo Musk:.
Chinese music Ls described by a
writer In Llppini-ott's Magazine as
composed of almost unheard of sounds
to I'liropeaii ears, ('hinesc! music has a
sort of Hoftm-is and melancholy In Itjt
tom-s that sometimes, pleases, but it Is
so Intolerably monotonous that If pro
longs! It iMs-oinox cxcccdiiily Irritating
to the nerves. They have no semitones;
indeed, they sooni only to blow Into the
instrument or twang strings at ran
dom from the Inspiration of the mo
ment. However, li appears they have
tioies, though their coiujmisIi ions are.
not of much sciotitifle value. You
sometimes hear something like simple
measly, not unlike that which ruiw
through the chants of snvnges.
Kcoinit by Nlbl.
Nocturnal creatures asunie night
activity for some other reitson than
that Uicy cannot see by day or that
they see better by night. The bat sees
admirably In the brightest sunlight, as
any one knows who has ever te-u.ssl one
by jsiklng a stick at It. It will open
its mouth and make an tuigry grab at
the stick, wIkmi It Is several luchea dis
tant from It. Prof. Bollea says It ls the
same with the owl. Tlny see perfectly
Iu bright sunlight, and beater at night
than most on-ntun-.
Of Course.
The master was u.skliig question
musters are ajt to ak questions, and
sftiiM-tlmes, too, ihe answers are n,jt.
This qiiesiiiii waa oa follows:
"Now, boy, bow many months have
twenty-tiht days?"
"All of then, sVr," reviled a boy la
front. Kan Francisco ExamAneir.
Hhlrt-Collar Holder.
X dovlce to keep In jtosltlou the potota
of flannel or unhiundcred shirts a
slsta of a circular wire passing under
the turn-down collar, and provided at
the front ends with V-shaped loops,
whh clasp and retain the cornera to
JtOltil.t).
Uivyclea on Ktree-t Cars.
The stxe cars of Kan Francisco are
provided with a liolder on the rr
platform on which blcyde can be
bung.
There Is one thing about man and
women that you can always depend
upon: they are all fickle.
A girl should never marry a inau
wboae mother waa a good cook.
' i.w', ,yv ; .
jo-j .lit, 4 ,
