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About The Sioux County journal. (Harrison, Nebraska) 1888-1899 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 3, 1896)
THE SIOLX COLNTY JOURNAL.
t j. smaofta, rrm.
"Ou what do Chicago business men
lunch T a skB a New York paner. Most
of them lunch on stools.
Knowledge in said to Ik? power; and it
is power iu the same sense that wood Ig
fueL Wood ou fire U fueL Knowledge
on fire is iower.
Now. if Emrland doesn't fiirht tt will
be due to abject cowardice; the new
American rams and toriedo boats are
to be painted green.
The taste of beauty and the relish of
what Is decent, Just and amiable, per
fect the character of the gentleman
and the philosopher.
True freedom consists with the oli
servauce of law. Adam was as free
In paradise as in the wilds to which he
was batiUhed for hi transgression.
To hear always, to think always, to
learn always, it is thus that we live
truly: ke who aspires to nothing, and
learns nothing is not worthy of living. ;
The Duke of Veragua says: "The l"ni-;
ted States should reuiemlier what she i
owes to Spain." After this gentle hint '
we hope Tom Palmer will turn over
that relief fund of tM. '
King Menelek has asked Italy for
40,0(K),XX) lires. If Humbert isn't too
particular about the pronunciation we
presume he can pick that number of
campaign lires over here almost any
A Euroioan ktter says that Dr. Carl
Peters, the African explorer, who is to
be tried for crimes committed in the
dark continent, is very bowlegged. It
seems, then, that he is crooked from the
A South Dakota divorcee explained
to the court that on the eve of her mar
riage she held her prospective husband
under a pump to soler him up suffici
ently to permit the ceremony to be per
formed. Afterward, she added, she had
viuru icm inai hue uiiini souse
mm into a watering trougn and anchor chewing gum; yet I. Cvrus W. Kdson
him there head foremost over night, who has studied the subject profound
ttomeu often lack thoroughness In ly, do. not consider this an over-estl-
A statistician has learned that the
annual aggregate circulation of the pa
pers of the world Is calculated. to te 12.
(XOOO,000 copies. To grasp an idea of
this magnitude let the reader fully real
ize that It would cover no fewer than
10,450 square miles of surface, that
it is printed on 781,2r0 tons of paper,
and, further, that if the nu.Tiber of
12,000,000,000 represented, instead of
copies, seconds, it would take over 333
years for them to elapse. In lieu of this !
arrangement we might press and pile
them vertically upward to gradually
reach our highest mountains. Topping
all these and even the highest Alps, the
pile would reach the magnificent alti
tude of 400 or, In round numbers, 500
miles. Calculating that the average
man spends five minutes reading his
paper in the day (this is a very low esti
mate), we find that the people of the
world altogether annually occupy time
equivalent to 100,000 years reading the
The friends of Oscar Wilde are pre
paring a petition to the Home Secre
tary, praying for hi release at the end
of eighteen months' imprisonment. The
pi-tanner has been visited in Jail by his
wife, and it la aaid that a complete
reconciliation has taken place. When
his term Is completed he will accom
pany Mrs. Wilde and hto children to the
Continent, where he will permanently
reside. During the last few months,
in the time allowed by prison regula
tions for recreation, be hag been read
ing the works of St. Augustine and
Walter Pater. To a gentleman, who
recently visited him, be said: "I bare
erred throughout my life In leaving out
all consideration of the moral element"
He Is said to be affected In mental
vigor by the Incarceration, though not
In physical health. If his release is
secured, be will hare no difficulty in
earning an adequate Income by bis pen,
t bough probably tinder an assumed
Dame or anonymously.
Cuba may b congratulated upon the
fact that it Is not threatened with a
presidential campaign, but it is not
otherwise open to felicitations. Rav
aged by war, hardened with a debt
which will curse ita people for a quar
ter or a century, the Island suffers In
addition to all Its other woes an epi
demic of yellow fever, the worst ever
known. The disease recurs regularly
as the wet season begins, but this year
It la working unprecedented ravages.
The death rate la said to exceed 30 per
cent of all those seised. The military
forces along the trocba are decimated
by the plague. Several general offl
eeaa are among the victims. In the
Havana hospital the number of wound
ed sad sick soldiers Is orer 2,000. It Is
'mot wonderful that military operations
aboold be suspended and that officers
aboold seek a furlough from this cam
paign against an unseen and remorse
laaa enemy. The Cuban ally, yellow
Jack, baa coma to the rescue with a
Toafaaaca. His death roll will be larger
than any the machetes and rifle of
Uaceo'a men can pkee to their credit
It ssakaa a difference whether It la
far ban that gores my ox, or my bull
Cat la axaeadaaf bis enrplas energy
trj Caaostdon to fight en your ox.
maker a formal protect against
tzj remtatory actiea la patting an
fui-ainu i iiui'U raiui-. A t-a I tw
it raw from Havre lately anrounced
t!it our consul ha I refused to permit
a shipment of five Frenb caittle i ii.e
I'nit-d State. This rigid enforcement
I of the prohibition of iuiHiriatiu of
neat can le ami their bides from coun
tries infected with c-utle disease, in
cluding France, (Jermauy, and Switzer
land, which is provided for in the ul I
tariff act of 1M4. but not iuvoked un
til some mouth ago, when a irx-biua-tion
ou the lubiwt w as issued, is direct
ly due to the aggressive isjliey of coun
tries like France and Cermany in en
deavoring on one pretext or another to
exclude Amerh-an cattle and meats.
' Repeated representations and waru-
ings have been made to Isith countries
through the State Department, but to
Under a system of treaties which
were exacted from Japan by the civil
ized nations when Its ports were forci
bly opened to commerce duties upon all
forms of lmiorted merchandise nre
limited to 5 per cent, ad valorem, and
this has prevailed for more than
quarter of a century, although Japan
hag continually complained of the in
justice. The government has for years
contended for the right to regulate her
own revenues, tlx her own tariff and
manage her own custom houses and
ports, ami the United Slates has repeat
edly expressed Its willingness to con
cede those rights. Hut Oreat Itritaiu
has stubbornly declined until last year,
when new treatlm were negotiated
with our government and with France.
Oreat Britain, Oermauy. Russia, and
other countries, in which iiii.oitant
concessions were made. These treaties
are nearly uniform and recognize Japan
as a civilized nation. Ou and after
July 17, lxjiy, Japan may regulate her
own tariff and exercise Jurisdiction
over all persons residing wi-.'iiu her
territory. She agrees that all her ports
and cities and towns shall 1m- open to
foreign commerce, and that foreigners
may come and go and enjoy the same
treatment as citizens of Japan so long
as they oliey the laws ami reg-i'ations
of the country. It will be difficult, how
ever, for the I'nlted States to negotiate
a reciprocity treaty with Japan for the
reason that the "favored-nation" clause
appears with unusual breadth in all her
Twenty million dollars sounds like a
! pretty big sum to exoend nnnmillv t,.r
the satisfaction to be derived from
umte. There are at least live Immense
I chewing gum factories, a dozen of mini-1
erate size, and innumerable itislgnifi
cam nrms in me L nited States. One
company alone sells $3,000,000 worth
every year including, of course, the
quantity exported This Is as much
money as the United States furnishes
one year for the supiHirt of her home
and foreign mission. As a nation of
churches, we are still further humiliat
ed to learn that we expend $.S.Ott0.0O0
a year more to purchase rum than we
gve for the maintenance of clergy of
all denominations. The entire revenue
received by the Government from tax
ing fermented liquors only exceeds the
chewing gum limit by a paltry $3,000,
CM), while the cost of the chewing gum
craze Is greater by !). m.000 than the
entire expense of running the prisons,
courts, hospitals, police force, etc., of
the city of New York. The habit Is in
creasing at such a rate that Americans
bid fair to become a race of enormous
facial development Chewing gum will
be a national characteristic, as base
ball is the national game, and clever
slang Is our native speech. Twenty -five
per cent of the 70,1100,000 people In the
United States are already addicted to
the habit And not only do an ever-increasing
multitude chew, but they
chew openly, defiantly, on the public
highways, at places of amusements,
and at the clubs.
"Say, Mime," said Maud, as she
bit off a tiny piece of chewing gum,
"I've been Improving my mind again."
"Go 'way! You haven't!"
"Yes, I have. I have been reading all
about the convention. It's perfectly
"Can you understand It?"
"Most of it. I -used to think a conven
tion was stupid, but it isn't a bit. It's
Just like a gymnasium or riding a goat
at an Initiation, or something of that
kind, you know."
-How do they dor
"Why, they bring out a plank."
"And It's very wide; and the candi
dates try to straddle It, and other peo
ple try to keep them from doing so; and
the side that wins gets the nomination.
I don't know what It means, hut that's
the way lt'a done, for I saw it In the
paper." Washington Star.
According to Good Housekeeping, the
latest health fad is paper pillows. The
paper Is torn into tiny pieces and put
Into a pillow aack of light ticking or
drilling. The pillows are said to bo
much better than feather ones, aud
certainly very cooling In hot weather.
On account of the disagreeable odor
of printer's Ink, newspapers are not
nice to use, but brown or white paper,
old envelopes and letters are the besr.
The liner the paper Is torn or cut the
lighter It makes the pillow.
"Brown Is a good shot Isn't her j
very gooa. we were practicing with
our guns at my country place the other
day, and be hit the bull's eye the first
time." "Very clever." "Yes; but he
had to pay for the bull." Harper'
"Do yon have many frunds In
school. T.aatyi' "No'm." 'By t!
Is very otd. Ia t Itr No'm. You ee,
the boys I lick hates me and the boy
that licks me bater- ",'cago Record-
TO A v'lLT.
Whfn first we i-onvjiid, you
Wrote "Sir," aud 1 wrote "Madam"
Hoi thitt ii t hell you kj-vr no' uie,
Nov I knew you, from Adam.
Yoa signed yourself "Moot faithfully."
1 thought it illeXJdieut
1 Tu auwer you more warmly then,
And euiied "Your ots-dieiit."
; Hut toon you found you knew my aunt's
Half-brother t German sister.
And o we strut k the golden mean
With "Ih ar," aud "Mis," and "Mr."
One day I wro'e iu erm that neeiued
To you t.i billct-douxly;
lou straigntw) took me down a peg
By aigniiig Sir, your truly."
Next day. you feigned compunction and
I sed phrase almost fervent.
I paid you bai t, ami wrote "Your most
Obedient, buuJde servant."
"Yours always" once I tried; lmt you
I'roved more unkind than clever,
Hy riding roughshod o'er my heart
With "I'ard n me. youra never."
This outrage tote my soul, ami drove
Me almost fn m my sense.
My answer wai typewritten by
My girl ania-iuensig.
Once more you grew "Affectionate,
And I replied "Sincerely":
You pocketed Jour pride, and signed
Your next one "Alice" merely.
And then I gave myself away
With -'Aiifcd." "Sweetheart," "God
And little dreumed the heart was false
That Istit bei eath your Issliee.
But when at last I sign myoelf
"Your destined euro poo,"
You calmly wr te and nay you nov
Kr M nie to tnpitose so.
I ask you what did "Alice" mean?
Why, when I called you Venus
A month ago, jou did not say
That there was nought Is-tween us?
Y'es. e'en the irm will turn, and free
His linilw from silken fetters.
I sign myself "et cetera."
I. S. Herewith your letters.
Chandlers' J mnial.
"AFTER THE TWI
On IsKinl Eastern Express Just out
from San Kranclo, Aug. 27. My Dear
Malicl: This Is a queer place to write
from a shaky. Jolty railway car, but I
tun determined to-day that you shall
lie fieglocted no longer. It Is really Uki
first time I have been allowed to write
at all since I was ill, but for several
days they would ask me, each morning.
if I had any word to send pajxi. IVsir
papa, away off In Russia, having such
a splendid time and now they have
cabled hint to come home! I cm n't thliili
why they should have done It. ImxhuA'
I am almost well again, and it isn't too
late even yet to stop him at Ixindon.
I spoke to I'ncle John about It this
morning, and he only said. "Never mind.
my dear, he will Is? ready to come now,
I think; besides, I need him here.
What In the world he can ueed him for
is more than I can see, for he and papa
have hardly spoken to each other In
Aud, Mabel. Just fancy Uncle John-
stiff old I'ncle John calling me "my
deer!" Why, I think the world must lie
coming to an end. Oh! that
sound of the sea; how I loathe It! Night
and day, for nine weeks, it has been
In my ears, and now I am flying from
It up Into the mountains as fast as this
train can run.
Lncie Jonn said I was not strong
enough to take the trip aloue. and iu
slated ou accotnimuyiug me, and I nev
er saw anyone more attentive, lie In
troduced a Dr. Farnsworth, of Phila
delphia, to me Just as we started off,
and It seems that he Is to tie our travel
ing companion. But uncle has lieen so
kind. 1 think ray widow's cup 1ms ap
pealed to him, for during all my slck-
nene he visited me every day and
brought quantities of doctors to see me,
This Dr. Farnsworth is very gentle
manly, but a little too observing at
times, I think. For Instance, as we
paused a little lake tbls morning and
stopped close to the beach the noise of
the ripple upon the sand brought lisck
that dreadful sound of the sea, and
then a boat glided suddenly by, which
put me Into almost a terror. I suppose
I showed It, for uncle Instantly crossed
to my seat and put his arm around me.
as If to reassure me, while the doctor
watched me with the eye of a hawk,
ami then wrote something In a little
notebook professional act, no doubt,
but not an over-poIHe one.
It seems as though they could not do
enough for me and I atn never left
alone. On one pretext or another, uncle
or the doctor Is always with me, and
once, when we stopped for luncheon
and they liorh left the car, the Pullman
conductor came and seated himself
opposite me for a chat which lasted un
til the others returned. He was not In
the least familiar, even refusing. In a
roost polite way, to raise the windows
which I had been unable to do, because
of some peculiar fastening upon them
saying the dust would "make It un
bea ra ble." I wlah uncle hadn't ta ken t h Is
stateroom for me. one seems so much
freer In the outer car. Janet, my maid
uncle engaged her during my Illness
Is with me, and I can hardly drive her
out of my sight.
We are to wsK at a pretty, retired llt-
tie village near the summit of the
mountains until papa returns, lie will
meet us there aud go home with I
I wish you could see the traveling
areas I bare on It Is dark brown and
with such queer figures on It like little
boats about two Inches long, with a
raised pattern running In bars amies
It At first I hated the sight of the
little ImmiU. but I am getting used to
I'ncle could not see how the figures
resembled Iswts, but I cut one out of
u:y sleeve and made him bsik cUfcely at
It, He put his hand to bis eyes a mo
ment as he took it to i-oneeal a laugh,
I uppM and theu I remem tiered
that I had torn off a part of the kirt
the day liefore to show Janet, and this
probably is why he went to her at once.
But not to please Janet, nor
uncle either, will I change this dress
brown lecome me so. y0u
should see how gracefully the sts sail
up aud down my arms. jjy
two !- were In a little lsrat.
How glassy green the water looked as
It poured over.
I got ahead of Janet a few minutes
ago and rau out ou to the platform.
Oh it was so ciKii: One of my slioes as
I flung it away, nearly struck a nmu
standing by a crossing. Janet laughed
and gave me some light slipicrs to put
on. The doctor told me some gay storlew.
lie is very amusing. I'tn le has not Ist'ii
with me since he carried me iu from the
Little Vlrglnle Ilofmann brought me
a pink conclmhell she Is carry ing l'me
"to listen to," she s:iid. She used to
le with me so much at the Is-ach, and
I like her, but she must not torment me
by wanting me to listen to that awful
sea sound, so I smash. -d the shell
against the steam-beating pipes, and
uncle came IsiuiKling In. No (me said
anything, but Virginle cried, so I gath
ered the pieces Into my lap and carried
them in my dress to her seat and threw
them upon the car flsir. Some of the
pieces are very pretty, and she and I
played with them quite a while.
It frightens me to watch the Isiats run
around on my dress! When they strike
that nilsinl jmttern they tip so horribly
that I can hardly keep from screaming
out and then I push them back where
they can sal! alsmt with h-ss danger.
Old you ever see a boat capsize
and hear the wild crv for heln. or
watch the stiff fingers raking the wa-
ter? and then those dreadful bubbles
ftlsive the sweet lijis. Some of
the Ismts are tsi heavily loaded. I al
ways knew It, and so I watch them.
Aug. 31. Our destination at last!
Such a time as we had on leaving the
train. Janet Insisted on my wearing
my gray duster, but It was so silly to
put It on at the very end of the Journey.
I tore it in pieces. She slipped a sort
of canvas Jacket on me that was tight
aud hurt my anus whenever I moved
them, but uncle got me into a carriage
at once, and we were ssin at our Jour
ney's end. ,.
Keit. S. I have a funny room here flt
Or. Holden's strange how many doc
tors I run against! I'ncle has nsiins
across the street. Although we have
iH-en nere nearly a weeK. lie lias not yet
lieen here to see me. No doubt be thinks
he lias done his duty In getting me safe
ly hen-, and possibly has gone back to
San Francirtco. Janet brings mv meals
to me, for they all say I am not strong
enough to go downstairs yet. I have
neverseen such dishes -plates, cups and
saucers, ami even the spoons, of paper!
My meat is cut in pieces for me. Not
a sign of a knife or fork, not even a
glass. Twice Janet una tried to
steal my brown dress, but she shall not
have It. I push it through one of the
windows at night now, and hung It by
a fine strUig to a nail In the sill. It
makes me shriek with laughter to see
her hunting for It. My rHm
has no dopr except the one that leads
Into hers a queer arrangement and
mine seems so liare. The bed Is simply
three ma tresses, one upon the other,
but quite comfortable. Janet has the
rest of the furniture In her room.
Whether this lounge upon which I am
flttlngforwantof a chair Is Immensely
heavy or Is nailed to the tlisir, 1 cannot
tell but I mlsa my table more than
Yesterday, you see, I stood up on It
a minute to get a Iik out of these
absurdly hlgh.narrow windows-1 could
not possibly squeeze through them. On
the north side Is a horizontal slit look
ing Into a narrow hall two stories high
and roofed with glass. Well, as I stood
there, the table gave way a little and I
Jumped to the floor, twisted the legs off
the craiy tiling and flung them Into the
hall. I laughed till I cried to hear rbem
go crashing through that glans roof.
The boats keep darting around
my shoulders! How they rock, and
how the faces of the children upon them
drip. drip. I have sat here all
day long, keeping them away from that
raised pattern. It Is wicked to
load them so and no llfebehs.
I shall soon have all these boats torn
off my dress. I pick and pick around
each one until It falls out then put them
on the floor and get down on my hands
and knees to blow then) along.
I blow very gently that they may not
15 driven far from snore; then the chil
dren can sail right to the pier without
being carried out to drip and drv upon
the sand. 1
Papa came yesterday. I have forgot
ten what day It Is. I was blow
ing the boats about when he came, and
was so arraiu one would pitch over
that I did not get up to speak to hlia,
but crawled along the floor to where
he was standing, holding the lioat level
as I went, and rested It against bis
shoe. He did not speak nor move, but
kept staring at me as If be saw a ghost.
My dress was so torn and ragged ! '
See, papa," I said,
" 'My boat, my bonny boat!
My boat, you shall not find none fairer
In river or jsirt.' "
They have cut my hair quite close to
If they try to tie my bands again to
night, I shall scream, and scream, and
scream. And the boats sail on.
Han Francisco Argonaut.
The women do not admire a woman
Who works, but the men do.
ConicrtM hhoalct Act.
The St. Joseph. Mo.. News snys that
If Congress would turn Its attention to
country roads instead of streams and
, make these great appropriations lor
their building, it would answer the pur-
; Isse of the iMilitlciims lietter because
: every district could call for help In
mads, while not every one can find a
stream that even by Congressional
courtesy can lie called navigable. I he
appropriation, if made for country
roads. Would do some good to others
beside those employed, whereas, the
money ient on harliorB and rivers, in
nine cases out of ten, are of no other
, twnetit. It lieliig consiuneH in piming
. out smigs and dredging bars on streams
that are not navigable
by any craft
larger than a row Ismt.
Value of Good Koadn.
An exchange says: "Io you know a
goisl road sermon when you hear It?
If you do, here Is one In a nutshell, tin
the sxirest of earth roads, not muddy,
but sandy, a horse can drag twice as
much as be can carry on his buck: on
a fair road, three ami a half tl s as
much; on a good macadamized mail,
nine times as much; ou a smooth plank
road, twenty-live times as much; on a
stone trackway, thirty-five times as
much; and on metal rails, fifty-four
times as much. Those who use mads
can therefore make money by Improv
ing the roads rather than buying new
horses every year."
Yes. and further. If you have sandy
mads you may possibly get one new
settler per year; If you have fair roads
two; gisid smooth stone or shell, lift y
or more! One little city in this State
has recently completed miles of beau
tiful mads alsiut the city, and the num
ber of ten thousand-dollar homes go
ing up In that town this year is amaz
ing. Go! roads work all around, and
for the iM-nefit of all. News, St. Au
Good Roads and I'utrlotlsm.
It has been suggested, apropos of the
ceremonies of Flag Oay, that the L. A.
W. should lie required to salute the
flag. The league will never prove It
self wanting In respect to the Hag, but'
It Is quite fair to ask that In return the
flag shall have some significance In
particular for the wheelman.
The roads of the I'nlted States are
almost as great a source of wonder to
European travelers as our munlclpnl
politics, and their mire Is about as deep.
Patriotism is a plant which grows best
in emergencies. For the common hum
drum of every-day life It needs culti
vation. The wheelman is a power Iu
our midst. If he realized it sufficiently
to exert his power. He is asked to
bear certain burdens, and show cer
tain tokens of respect not exacted from
his fellows. In return It Is not asking
too much when he Insists that the I'nlt
ed Suites ought to furnish at least as
good roads as those constructed by
Caesar's legions 2,HX) years ago. The
wheelman pays a tax ou his wheel, ami
gets next to nothing In return. He
docs more than his share In providing
good roads, and works out a tax during
the course of the year quite as effec
tively as the fanner who "scours" his
plow Iu spring by plowing up the mid
dle of the road, and then reporting to
the commissioner that he has "worked
out his road tax." Nearly every day
Intheyearthe wheelman dismounts and
removes wires, cans and debris from
the road. Sometimes he does more
than this, and no one Is more careful
to do all that Is iosslhle to aid fn keep
ing the mads, bridges, etc.. In good re
pair. News, Denver, Col.
Tweaking the Tsar's Wig.
Paul, the eccentric Tsar of Russia
assassinated In 1801, was very particu
lar as to his dress, and considered tri
fling matters as of supreme Importance.
This peculiarity was once taken ad
vantage of by an officer of the guards.
Major Vaksel, to win a bet. The major,
the wildest Joker In the army, wagered
several hundred rubles that he would
"tweak" the tall of the emperor's wig
on parade. Hays Temple Bar:
The very next day the enicror hap
pened to be present at early parade
and as destiny ruled It, took a position
for a moment Immediately in fropt of
the daring major. Breathless wltb ex
citement and terror, Vaksel's compan
ions beheld that rash officer's right'
band steal slowly from his sir!?, rise
to the level of the tsar's neck, and give
the' wig's hanging tall a most decided
In an Instant the emperor's face, pale
with fury, was turned ujsiti Vaksel's
countenance, which, however, only re
flected an expression of childlike In
nocence, mingled with the most defer
"Who dared to do that?" asked the
enraged tsnr, Ids eyes giving flashing
evidence that his most dangerous mood
was upon him.
"I did, yo'ir majesty," said Vaksel,
who, however Ills heart may have flut
tered, managed to preserve outwardly
an unruffled calm, together with an ex
pression of Innocent surprise. "It was
crooked, your majesty," be added, In
a confidential undertone. "I straight
ened It for far the younger officers
Paul's countenanca cleared at aaim
lie stared fixedly, however, at Vaksel' a
Innocent Iisiklng fice f'r nonie -ords.
Vaksel ndmitti-H afterward ti.-a this
was the trying moment, but be liii
said to himself. "If I waver. I'm lost"
Then the tsar sM.ke. and spoke so that
all might hear.
"I thank you, colonel." he said.
If ever s step in rank was gained by
the purest effrontery, it was o acquir
ed on this occasion, and Vaksel left the
field, not only promoted to a coveted
Hitlon In the guards, but richer by
many hundred rubles as the remit of
Home Fearful Moments.
During the late war l-twei-u China
and Japan we heard often of wonder
ful acts of bravery performed by the
Japanese, but tales of Chinese bravery
were few and far Is-tweeii. The fol
lowing story, however, which appears
to be told by an eye-witness, is enough
to show that the Chines had at 1
one officer w '"' vu" "" coward. '
The deposed viceroy. I.I Hung Chang,
and the committee iipioit'ed by the
government to investigate the reasons
of defeat at the battle of Port Arthur,
met ill the city of l'eliill nil Septem
ber "h. Among the charges was one
of "jMior gunnery." brought against'
('apt. I-e I'lieii File, who bad com
ma n led tiie Yen Tse Chang, one of the
largest battle ships that cHCaied from
the action w ithout great damage.
After I.I Hung Chang had read the
charges in full, the accused captain
rose and requested thai a dozen shells
In' brought from his vessel. This was
done, and the shells were set in a row
before till- committee.
I.e Chen File then stepped forward,
and drawing his sword, said: "Can you
wonder that we were defeated when
our shells were like these?"
As he spoke, and before any one could
stop hlin, he raised his sword and
brought if down on the shell iu front of
him. The shell was split in two and
sawdust and red-brick dust flew ull
Then Iu rapid succession he struck
shell after shell. Nobody moved, we
were so surprised and frightened. I
remember thinking that if the last one
proved a good one there would be none
of us left to tell the tale; lmt no, that
was like all the others- a sham.
As he finished, I.e Chen File laid his
sword at the feet of I.I Hung Chang,
and as soon as that statesman could
speak he dismissed the charges.
F.iploslon in a Morse's Moiilh.
The driver of one of II. It. Schnr
mann's brewery wagons sloped Iu Molt
struct this morning to deliver n k"g of
beer. While he was Inside be and Hip
people at the bar were startled by the
report as of a pistol In the street. They
all ran out to see what had happened,
rpand dow n the street lliey looked for
murder or suicide, or al leas! some one
running. There was nothing of the
sort, one of the brewery horses was
prancing madly, however, mid the driv
er hurried to seize him. As he grasped
the reins he saw, to his amazement that
smoke was coming out of the horse's
mouth. The tongue also hung out, and
was cm and bleeding. In flic gutter at
the horse's fis-t was the empty shell of
a cartridge. It Is supposed th.it the ani
mal, nosing about In the street, had
picked up the cartridge, chewed It. and
thus set It off. A veterinary surgeon,
two or thriH- doors away, was sum
moned, and he discovered that the bit
was broken. The tongue would have to
be cut off to save the horse. New- York
A New Industry.
Restaurants In New York have grown
so numerous In the last few years that
what may Is-called a whobwale restau
rant has Is-eu evolved. In these estnli
llshmeiits meat Is bought by the carcass
and vegetables by the barrel. In this
wise the proprietor can sell a great
piece of roast beef or a shoulder of mut
ton, thoroughly cooked, to a small res
taurant keeper for lens than the latter
would pay for the material If purchased
at retail. There are three Institutions of
similar character here. Close on to
these people are the three or four men
who make a living In buying up the
remnants from big dinners, wedding re
ceptions and similar sm1-iI affairs, as
sorting them so as to lie presentable
and then selling them to cheap restau
rants, boarding houses and saloons.
This new Industry whs started only
four years ago, but has prospered so
well that It has probably come to stay.
War Over so "Mc,"
In KLM a Polish nobleman liecame ob
noxious to the laws of the country. He
fled to Sweden, whereupon John Cassl
mlr. King of Poland, wrote to Charles
Custavus. King of Sweden, demanding
the extradition of the criminal.
The King of Sweden, on reading the
dispatch, noticed that his own name
and title were followed by only two et
celenia, while the name of the King
of Poland was followed hy three.
The missing etcetra so enraged the
King of Sweden that he at ence de
clared war against Poland. This war
was carried on with great bitterness
until lWiO, when a peace treaty was
signed at Ollva, near antxlg.
In article 3 of the tleaty it was ex
plicitly laid down that the custom of
shortening titles by "eteeteratlon"
should still hold good, but that for the
future each of the two parties should
give the other three etceteras. Odds
She We were so disappointed, doc
tor, that you did not call Tuesday even
ing. He I was dlsapiKiInlcd, also. The
fact Is I was suddenly ca'led to visit a
8he-Ah! That was It. Nobodv
could think of any reason for your ab-
sence.-New York World.
No woman can make the crust of tha
pie aa good as the Lord makes the
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