THE BATTLE-FIELDS.
OLD SOLDIERS TALK OVER
ARMY EXPERIENCES.
Tba Rio Hd tha Graf RTtsw InrldaaU
of Ifaa lt W ar, and la ft Oraphlo aod
lairaattf Manner Tell of Imp, March
aad BaMlo Thrill ln lav la xi la.
Matcha in WirTlmen.
The lali; war caused the Southern
people to realize tlitf ulter helpless
ness of a purely agricultural eommii
nity when thrown uimui it own re
source ami iiit oil from communica
tion Willi the outside world.
As tin' month rolled on it became
more tlitlirlilt for the Inhabitant of
the Confederacy to supply themselves
w lth many of the necessaries ami eon
veiiieues of every day life. Matches,
for instance, were used by millions of
people, luit It was impossible to run
them through the blockade In sufficient
quantities. It soon became evident
that they must lie manufactured at
home, but how was il lo be done? The
machinery wan lacking, and also the
materials.
James Mcpherson, a public-spirited
book Keller in Atlanta, was one of the
first to attempt to solve the problem.
At considerable expense lie succeeded
In getting some iiiaeiiinery, phosphor
us and sulphur through the blockade,
end iu a short time his match factory
wax In operation.
The factory was situated a few miles
from tiie city, and the matches were
dorcd In McPherson's book store and
Bold there by wholesale and retail.
They were made of poplar ami sold lu
tiquare blocks, the factory not being
provided with a machine that would
ncparate the matches.
Inexperienced workmen found It a
hard matter to turn out matches that
would light. At Hrst about the only
way to make them available was to
bring them in contact with the dying
embers In a fireplace, but this was
Inconvenient, and efforts were made
to Improve their quality. Finally, the
composition was changed, and the
matches blazed up at the lightest
touch.
It was not necessary to strike them.
They were self-acting, and unexpected
ly broke out at odd hours of the day
and night The clerks in the bonk store
had double work in those exciting
days. When they were selling books
they had to watch the bin boxes con
taining the matches, and roll them out
Into the street the moment they began
to smoke. Once In the street, the boxes
would be emptied and the contents left
until they were reduced to ashes.
There was not much profit In an ar
ticle containing the elements of self
destruction, ami n night watchman had
to be employed to remain In the store
and drag out the boxes as soon as they
showed Indications of spontaneous
combustion. Hut the factory was an
Atlanta enterprise, and the people were
proud of It. At least. It was a begin
ning. It was a sign of promise, and
ehowed that in spite of the blockade
there were enterprising men In the
South who had the pluck and energy
to risk their fortunes and go to work
to build up the Industries of the coun
try. it was not long before the discovery
was made that the composition used
for the matches was a first-class rat
poison. Here was a new source of rev
enue for the manufacturer. The stuff
was put up In little tin boxes and ad
vertised as a rat, pxtermltmtor. If Me-rh'-rson
could not boast of the superior
quality of his matches, he could at
b ast feel proud of his rat poison. The
compound sold rapidly, for the sup
plies of grain stored In the city by the
Confederates caused the place to swarm
w ith fierce rodents of. the largest size.
I'.ut there was one difficulty In the
way, and an unfortunate Incident soon
destroyed the popularity of the poison,
and there was a sudden, falling off In
the demand for It, At that time there
was a hat store nearly opposite the
book store. Holbrook, the owner, had
no end of trouble with rats, and one
day in his wrath he determined to
make a clean sweep of them. Pur
chasing several boxes of the extermin
ator, he laid some" big slices of stale
bread on his counter ami covered them
with the poison. He spread the mix
ture on the bread with a case knife
and rubbed It In vigorously.
The merchant was a tine-looking
man, with a big blonde beard reach
ing nearly to his waist. Just as he
w hs giving about a quarter of a pound
of the stuff one of his most energetic
rubs on a hard slice of bread it sud
denly blazed up like gunpowder. The
flames set fire to Holbrook's handsome
whiskers, anil when his clerks had
thrown a bucket of water over him
the astonished and frightened hatler
would hardly have been recognized by
bis best friend. Helzlng the half con
sumed piece of bread he rushed across
the street to the book store.
"Where's McPherson?" the singed
and blackened visitor shouted.
"Out at the factory," replied a clerk.
"What Is the matter, Mr. Holbrook?"
"Matter enough!" yelled the other,
"fcfee what this Infernal rat poison has
done! It has almost killed nie, ruined
;my whiskers, and It came near burn
ling down my store. Tell MePherson
(that 1 want to see blin right away.
1 would rather fight a million rats than
fool with this blasted old poison!"
And the angry man darted back to
his store without giving any further
details of his misadventure. A visit
to his barber, however, made him moro
presentable, and he was soon In a hel
ler humor.
"I'll be dashed If I know what to
do," said MePherson. "We must have
Tat poison, you know, and matches.
People should be more careful. If
they will stand around and have plen
ty of water bandy when they use my
good tkay will get along all right"
A newspaper ul:in siiggeMel tliaf It
would be a g 1 Id'-.l to store 1 lot
of the liiatclie in ';ue pia.-e where
tln-y would be cap tared by the Fedor
a's. "They mi'ht blaze up some night
and d'-stmy their supplies." he stid.
"or they might be shipped to oii.e of
the Nor; hern cities."
"No," replied a Confederate officer,
with a sly glance at the bystander,
'that would be barbarous. We must
all bear our crosses, and we must put
up with our home-made matches ami
rat poison until we can do better."
Then everybody laughed ami the
clerks proceeded to drag Into the stnvt
a large box from which a white smoke
was Just beginning to lt.ue.
Sherman's cavalry destroyed the fac
tory just before the siege of Atlanta,
and thus perished a great Confederate
Industry. Wallace Putnam Heed, In
Chicago Times-Herald.
Lived on Crackera and Water,
The first conspicuous victim of the
civil war. Colonel Kllsworth. of the
New York Fire Zouaves, was killed at
Alexandria May 24. ISf.l. Il.n ing oc
cupied the town without resistance,
and seeing a Confederate Hag floating
from the summit of the Marshall
House, he ran Into the hotel, went up
stairs to the roof, and tore down the
flag. On his way down he was met by
the hotel keeper ami shot dead. His
assassin perished at the same moment,
killiil with a bayonet thrust by Frank
E. Hiownoll. Ellsworth's friend, John
Hay, gives in McClure's Magazine such
personal reminiscences of the young
hero -he was but twenty-four as may
show his simple, kindly heart, and the
struggles he went through to gain a le
gal education.
Poverty drove the boy early out
Into the world to make a living. He
drifted to Chicago, where he entered
a law-office, and lived on a pittance
earned by copying papers. Ills food
and drink for months were dry biscuits
and water; his bed was the hard floor
of the office. He would not accept
even an apple from any one because
he could not return the courtesy.
(Joing on an errand Into an eating
house, he met a friend and several
companions, who Insisted on his hav
ing an oyster stew. He refused; his
friend pressed; the waller brought on
the oysters for the party, and Ells
worth sat down. The stew was the
first morsel of food he had tasted for
three days and three nights. Subse
quently lie had money; he went to his
friend aud told him that he, Klls
worth, owed him half a dollar. The
man said no. but Kllsworth Insisted
that his memory was better than his
friends, and made him take the money
the price of the oysters.
In a diary which Kllsworth kept for
a 1 1 1 tic while are such entries as these:
"Have written four hours this even
ing; two pounds of crackers; sleep on
office floor tonight," "ltead one hun
dred and fifty pates of Hlackstone
slept on floor." "I have contracted a
cold by sleeping on the floor. Then
there Is the gnawing sensation which
prevents my long-continued applica
tion." "1 spent my last ten cents for
crackers to-day." "Nothing whatever
to eat. I am very tired and hungry
to-night. Onward."
At the first gun that fired on Sumter-Kllsworth
raised with Incredible
celerity the New York Zouaves, a regi
ment eleven hundred strong, and
brought It to Washington. His friends,
knowing his military talents, thought
that his first battle would make him
a brigadier-general, and that the sec
ond would give hltn a division. Presi
dent Lincoln thought so highly of him
that lie called him to Washington to
place him In charge of a bureau of mi
litia. Hut "Man proposes, Cod dis
poses." (rant's Orii titinle.
General Grant's kindness of heart
aud deep sense of obligation are seen
In a pleasing light In a story told by
the St. Louis Kcpubllc. While the
General was President he visited St.
liOttls, and Mr. Garrison. President of a
railroad, took him out for a drive On
the way they met a shabby old man,
In his shlrt-slifves.
Grant recognized the man, and stop
ped the buggy. He got out, extended
Ids hand and said:
"Hello, I'ncle Hen! How are you and
your wife gutting along?"
The old man greeted the President
and said that they were getting along
very well; they were happy If they
had enough to eat, and If he could
get a little tobacco for his pipe.
"I'ncle Hen, wouldn't you like to be
postmaster of Meramec township?"
asked the President. -
I'ncle Hen said he would not object,
and Grant shook him by the hand and
said: "God bless you and your wife,
I'ncle Hen. I thluk of you often."
When Grant got back In the buggy
he was much moved, and said to Mr.
Garrison: "Poor old I'ncle Hen! He
has a big heart. I remember when I
aud my wife, living In that house" over
there, did not have any more to eat
that) we needed, and Uncle Hen would
come around to the house at night, and
leave a basket of provisions on the
do irstep. He was afraid to come and
give them to us, thinking that he might
possibly hurt our feelings. God bless
his memory!"
The President did not forget his
promise. I'ncle Ren was soon made
postmaster. The payment of personal
debts by means of public office Is not
to be defended, but the public con
science was not then aroused as It Is
now.
Cold llarhnr.
' Senator ttengon, of Texas, who was
present at the battle of Cold Harbor,
any that if Grant had succeeded In
breaking Lee's lines the Confederate'
commander had not a regiment of re
serves to put Into the fight. Grant In
curred heavy losses nt Cold Harbor, but
it seems that he tried to end the war
a that field. .. . . . ,
TOriCOFEJlMES.
A CHOICE SELECTION Or INTER
ESTING ITEMS.
Comuieottf and Criticiauia Unwed L'pou
the HappeuinKa ot the l)ay liia
torical and Newa JSotio.
Man is like a plant, which require a
fvo;able soil for the full expansion of
its natural or Innate powers.
In most people tastes grow earlier
than principles, and, as they are well
or 111 formed. Intimacies are made
wlhch, more than anything else, deten
miue the character of the after-life.
None but those who keep up appear
ances against heavy odds can under
stand what servitude pretence Imposes
upon the sensitive soul. The sting of
confessed poverty Is not nearly so
burning as is the reality of being poor
while seeming to be rich.
He courteous of gesture, and affable
to all men, with diversity of reverence
according to the dignity of the person.
There is nothing that wiuneth so much
with so little cost. He who endeavors
to please must appear pleased, and he
who would not provoke rudeness must
not practice it.
To feel with and for others what a
glorious widening out ami enriching of
one's life that is! How It Increases our
Joys because of the pleasure that we
take in the joys of others! How It ren
ders selfish brooding over our own
woes impossible because of the sym
pathy we must give to the sorrows of
others!
There are many "jsTsons who neglect
tnelr bodies In their absorption lu other
things. Hi times it Is their business,
sometimes n devotion to science or art
or philanthropy, which exhausts their
energies and saps the foundation of
character by weakening the vital pow
ers. A great Joy, or more often a pro
found sorrow, is sometimes allowed
to do this. There are sincere mourners,
full of self-reproach because they can
not rise alsive a selfish grief to a higher
and nobler life, when the real cause
Ilea In a total neglect of the bodily
claims, which has resulted In enfee
bling the entire system and depriving
the will of Its power to act.
One of the Important results of the
Indian appropriation bill, passed by the
last Congress, Is contained In the dec
laration that It Is the settled policy of
the government "to make no appropria
tion of money or property for the pur
pose of founding, maintaining, or aid
ing by payment for services, expenses,
or other wise, any church, religious de
nomination, or religions society, or any
Institution, society, or undertaking
which Is wholly or In part under sec
tarian or ecclesiastical control." The
bill enacts that from and after June 30,
1HD7, "no money appropriated for char
itable purposes shall be paid to any
church or religious denomination or to
any Institution or society which Is un
der sectarian or ecclesiastical control."
The funeral of Col. John A. Cocker
ill, the widely-known newspaper man,
who died lu Kgypt, was held a few
weeks ago In St. Louis, and the mar
riage of his widow to Walter Louis
Linen u, of Hrooklyn, followed two
weeks later. A justice of the peace offi
ciated at the latter ceremony In Ho
boken, N. J., shortly before midnight,
and It was the retoilt of nil engagement
that was contracted twenty minutes
before in a cat. Mrs. Llneau, formerly
Mrs. Cockerlll, once a chorus girl, ueo
Miss Lenora Harnes, explains she want
ed to keep the fact of her marriage a
secret for a time, thinking it would not
look well coming so soon after Col.
Cockerill's death. This supersensitive
ness on the part of Mrs. Llneau is lu
keeping with the poignant grief ex
pressed by Mrs. Cockerlll and Just as
sini-ere, undoubtedly.
The Illinois penitentiary at Jollet is
about to Introduce some radical dress
reforms. Instead of all convicts being
compelled to array themselves In the
ugly black and white stripes there will
be three styles of dress from which to
choose. Hut the choice is not altogctl er
voluntary. Each style represents a mm
clal grade. Cadet gray Is to be worn by
the highest grade. Trusties and con
victs expecting to be Ubermed In a
short time will don this costume.
Green will be the color worn by Un
doubtful class, or those on probation,
For the lowest grade red will be the
color and stripes will distinguish the
wea rers a s bad men. The adopt Ion of the
parole system has made It a wise move
to grade the prisoners and It Is belle ed
that the Tlistlnction In garments will
do much to foster self-respect and to
encourage the men to try to win the
privilege of wearing the gray. This
dress reform movement calls a ftentlon
to the fact that, while clothes do not
make the man, they have a great effect
upon his mind. It Is no use denying
that the Influence of flue npparcl is felt
by the most Indifferent person. A coat
that Is new will give a man more con
fidence In himself and his fellow mc'.i
than any number of carefully conned'
precepts. There Is no doubt that the
striped clothing Is a terrible humilia
tion to a man. The garb of the convict
places him on a level with the lowest.
It sinks his Individuality and does
much to retard his moral regeneration.
The utmost excellence at which hu
manity can arrive, Is a constant and de
termined pursuit of virtue, with re
gard to present dangers and advan
tages. A "co-operative matrimonial snap"
Was explained to a New York Sun re
porter a few days ago by a veracious
Chicago drummer who had escaped
uncaptured from a section In Massa
chusetts where the fair sei predom
inates to an unusual silent. It sterna
that there were twenty marriagioie
young women 'S a certain town, and
only one man. aod he was so poor that
he was afraid to venture upon matri
mony. "The gir's were worth four or
live thousand dollars apiece," the drum
mer said, ' but that was hardly t-uough
for the thrifty eligible, so he proposed
that all the girls chip in -o a for
a ciiam-e at him. no subset ipl ion to be
less than live hundred dollars, ar.d each
subscription of thai amount einitliuj
the subscriber to oiie ticket, with addi
tional tickets at one hundred dollars
each. The enthusiasm soon became in
i.'iise. ' One girl blew in a thousand dol
lars on six tickets, and several of them
had more than one chance. On the day
of the drawing there was something
over twelve thousand dollars In th
1"oI. The drawing took place In the
town hall, where an admission of ten
cents was charged, the sum to go to a
consolation fund to be distributed
among tin? nineteen unsuccessful ones.
The young man's name came out with
that of a girl who had only one chance,
and, of course, she was declared the
winner. The wedding took place two
months later. The unsuccessful ticket
holders take a proprietary Interest In
the collide, and they have a reunion
every year and call for an accounting,
though they never ask for dividends
on their Investment. The lucky niau
has made money enough to agree to
pay to each of the contributors a thou
sand dollars on her marriage, and up
to date he had paid three thousand dol
lars. Three or four of them are In
maiden graves, however, and the
chances are he will never have to give
up as much as they gave him."
A woman committed suicide in a New
York hotel recently, aud her remains
lay In the morgue for a week before
her Identity was established. Mean
while, hundreds of visitors had gone
to gaze on the dead face, some doubt
less attracted by curiosity, but so many
in search of a missing friend or rela
tive that attention has been-drawn to
those sinister mysteries of modern life
known as strange disappear
ances. Apropos of this, a New
Y'ork paper tells of an in
cident saiil to have occurred on the
Pennsylvania Railroad, between that
city and Trenton. Near Trenton, there
Is a well-known lunatic asylum. The
heroine of the affair boarded the train
at Jersey City. Presently a man en
tered the car, and after courteously In
quiring whether the seat beside her
was taken, sat down In It. Suddenly,
In ordinary conversational tones, he
turned to the woman, and said: "In
a short time we shall reach Trenton,
end you will get off there with me.
Yes, I see your ticket says that you're
to go to Philadelphia, but you won't
reach there until I have first secured
the money and Jewelry that I see you
have about you. It's no use for you
to make the slightest outcry" which
outcry the woman, of course, made at
once, but the man was as good as his
word, and at every appeal she mat' to
the passengers aud conductor, hd cut
her short with a "Don't pay the slight
est attention to her, she's my sister,
and she's suffering with a terrible hal
lucination as to ner Identity, and mine,
and everything else. I'm taking her to
the Insane asylum near Trenton just as
quickly as I can get her there. I have
the warrant right here. You needn't
mind what she says, as she may be
come violent." Whereupon, so the
story goes, both conductor and passen
gers were deaf to the woman's appeals,
and at Trenton she was hustled into
a chised carriage, taken to a lonely
wood, denuded of her diamonds and
ducats, aud at a bite hour returned to
the station.
Twenty-six Great Men.
A contributor to the Companion his
been amusing himself by trying to an
swer the question or series of ques
tionsWhat man In the history of the
world whose name began with A and
after that every other letter of the
nlphalxt in order exerted the greatest
Influence upon the thought and conduct
of mankind? Of course there are some
letters whlHi are not very prolific In the
names of great men; but we think most
of our renders will be surprised to see
how many of the most illustrious mums
In history are Included, ami how few
are excluded.
Our friend's list Is not submitted as a
perfect one, nor Is he altogether certain
that he has chosen the right names.
In some awes be seems to have selected
names quite os much with a view to
comprehending In the list men of many
countries, as bemuse he was sure, that
the name given was really that of the
greatest man. Indeed, he explains that
he hesitated lx-tweeu Moses and Mo
hammed, and bet ween Shakspeare and
Solomon, but decided as he did because
Jewish thought was well represented
by other names. Perhaps the weakest
name is that of the poet, Edward
Young, who wrote "Night Thoughts;"
but It has been the fortune or misfor
tune of great men to have names which
begin with some other letter than ".
The list Is as follows:
Aristotle, Ha eon, Confucius, Itarwln,
Ezra, Fmuklin, Goethe, Homer, Isnlaii,
Jesus, Kant, Luther, Mohammed, New
ton, OHsIan, Plato, Quliitlllan, Hons
seau, Shakspeare, Tasso, I'liluml, Vir
gil, Washington, Xavler, Young, Zoro
aster. Y'oufh's Companion.
Composition of the Watch.
The watch carried by the average
man Is composed of ninety-eight pieces,
and Its manufacture embraces more
than 2,000 distinct and separate opera
tions. Some of the small screws are
so minute that the unaided eye cannot
distinguish them from steel filings or
specks of dirt.
' Every good husband Is what Is
known among women as "a great
baby."
Only those who don't believe In live
can talk about It without becomlnj
, i
I AMERICAN SADDLES.
Pome Cema of Art Turned Out in tha
j ' Far N ret.
' All over North America for many
years Cheyenne saddles have been fa
mous, aud every equestrian outside of
the United States cavalry and of the
North went mounted police of Canada,
iia., either bad his horse tricked out
with Cheyeuue leather, or has wished
he had. The fancy work on saddles,
hosiers and stirrup hoods, that once
made Mexicau saddlery famous and ex
pensive, long ago was copied by the
Clieyenue makers, who kept up the
fame and beauty of American horse
trappings, but made them so cheap
as to le within the meaus of moat
horsemen. In the old days when West
ern cattle ranged all over the plains
and the cowboy was in his glory, that
queer citizen would rather have a
Cheyenne saddle than a best girl. In
fact, to be without a Cheyenne saddle
and a first-class revolver was to be no
better than the sheep herders of that
era.
When the writer was in Cheyenne
the other day the first places he looked
for were the saddle-maker' sho. H.i
was sunrised to find only one showy,
flnt-clasM store of the kind, and, instead
of there being a crowd iu front of it,
there was no sign of more busings
than was going on at the druggist's
near by, or the stationer's over the
way. The goods displayed in the win
dows were lwautiful anil extraordinary.
There were the glorious, heavy, hnud
stamped saddles; there were the huge,
cumbrous tapaderos; there were riie
lariats or roites; the magnificent bits
that looked like Moorish art outdone,
and there were mule skinners and the
fanciful spurs, and. in short, the win
dows formed a museum of things that
a cowboy would have pawned his soul
for. The metal work was all such :us a
cavalryman once divlared It, 'The most
elegant horse Jewelry in creation."
Englishmen find (rermans now buy
the fanciest and liest trappings to send
abroad to their homes. Hand-stamped
saddles cost from S13 to $H, but 35
buys in 'good one a.s a modest man who
knows a good thing will care to us.
Cowgirl fuddles were on view seven
of them with rigging for side seats
and with stirrups made in sllppar
shapes. It Is not that there are really
luilf a dozen cowgirl In the world, or
half a dozen women like the Colorado
cattle queen, or the lady horse breeder
of Wyoming, but there are Western
girls who have to ride a great deal,
and they have fond fathers and broth
ers, and still fonder lovers; hence the
manufacture of magnificent side-saddles,
all decked with hand-stamped pat
terns, aud looklug as rich as the rich
est Bedouin ever dreamed a horeegear
being made. There Is still a good trade
in cowboy outfits that are ordered from
Montana, the Dnkotas, Wyoming, Col
orado and Texa, and similar goods go
to the horse ranches of Nevada, Idaho
and Oregon. Moreover, as long as
men ride horses there will be a trade
in fancy outtrts for them. Denver
I'ield and Farm.
A New UiSi'Hsc.
A coroner In Georgia, while examin
ing witnesses In a case of sudden death,
learned of a new disease. Says the
Cblcago Times-Herald.
'Did you ever hear the diseased com
plain of any ailment?" he awked of one.
"The who, nub'.'"
"The deceased."
The old fellow scratched his head,
looked thoughtful, then cnUed his wlf;1,
daughter and son-in-law aside, and held
a whispered consultation. Then he
faced the coroner again.
"I never knowed no 'decease,' suii,"
he said. " 'ccppln' you means dem folks
what done cea.se ter plant cotton."
"The 'deceased' is the man lying dead
there," exclaimed the coroner.
"Oh!" exclaimed the witness, "of you
means ile dead man I'm right 'long wid
you! En now, ef I don't disremember,
I did henh dat he had rattlin' er de
brain." --
"liattling of the brain?"
"Yes, suit. "
"And what's that?"
"Well, sub, hit 'taint 'zac'ly a misery
er do stomach, but hit ain't fur fruin
it, en hit's des 'botit ez painful ez flint
ln' at de heart, or ketchln' er de J'lnts, or
settlln' er de bones; en ef I makes no
mistakes, hit ain't so powerful fur frum
rlngin' in de yea's en twitchin' er de
skull, en dat's all I knows 'bout It."
The Temple of Serpents.
The small town of Werda, in the
kingdom of Dahomey, Is celebrated for
a loathsome den called the Temple of
Serpents. It Is a long building dedi
cated to the priests and mystery men
of the kingdom, and In It they keep
thousands of snakes of all kinds and
sizes. These slimy, crawling creatures
literally own the village, as well as the
temple, which has been erected for
their special accommodation, and may
be seen hanging from the rafters and
door posts of any house In the town.
In Werda to kill a serpent is a crime
punishable by death. The serpents In
the sacred temple are fed by a regular
corps of hunters, who are paid for their
services out of the public exchequer.
Homo Idiot Archdukes.
nismarck's" epithet, "Austria's Idiot
archduke," seems not undeserved. Carl
Lndwlg, apparently Austria's future
emperor, Is so parsimonious that he al
lows his cook only 2 florins (02 cents)
a day for each member of his house
hold, and on this the cook must provide
four meals a day. His daughter-in-law,
wife of Archduke Otto, pays her board
from her husband's allowance when
she visits him. Carl Ludwlg Is also
fond of embroidering beautiful vest
ments for his clergy. His younger
brother, Ludwlg Victor, Is a confirmed
woman hater. Indianapolis News.
The only hypnotism we believe In Is
that exercised by tne man who makes
you buy a book you do not want.
WANTED THE USUAL FEE,
Witneea Would Not Interpret Chinook
to I'leiisj tha Lawyer.
A good story :iS told lately of Com
modore March, of Man h's Point, FiiUl
go Island, whose ready wit is well
knowu to the iiabitt'.i-s of the Hotel J!tit
Ier, an i. i:i.b-c i. all over the Suu.l.
The ComiiKsioie was called as a wiS
Uess in the Point Ilolwi'ls dispute iii
tweeu the cairn ry men and the In liuis,
and the lawyer on the other side, with
a wliat-cau-you-know-alMjut-it ar.',"
put the question to him:
"How long have you been In this part
of the country, Mr. March?"
Mr. March linn a pretty chin, and be
shaves his white whiskers to each side
to show it off. When the question was
so suddenly put, he softly caressed the
pretty chin and slowly and meditative
ly said, as to himself:
"Forty, forty-live, fifty," aud at
length answered: "Tit'ty-five years."
Kilty-five years!" said the lawyer,
and then, as if he were addressing
Christopher Columbia, asked:
"And what did you discover, Mr.
March?"
"A dark-visaged savage."
"A diirk-visaged savage, eh? Yen;
and what did you say to him?"
-i said it was a fine day."
"I'ine day? Yes, and what did he say
to you?"
Mr. March rattled off a whole yarn
In Chinook, and kept on, to the milth
of the whole courtroom, until peremp
torily cut off by the gavel of the Judge.
"I asked you what reply the savage
made to you, Mr. March. Please an
swer the question," said the irate cross
examiner. "I was answering."
"Tell us what the savage said."
"That was what he said."
"Then tell it to us In English."
"Not unless I am commissioned by
the Court to act as interpreter and paid
the customary fee."
The lawyer thought a moment, looked
at the Judge, who could not resist a
smile, and said severely, "Mr. March,,
you may stand down." Seattle Post
Iutelligeucer. The Kickaway Boat.
Mowt striking among the many
glimpses of Chinese people, places and
customs given by Julian Ralph in a re
cent article In Harper's, Is perbaps his
description of the passing of a Chinese
passenger-vessel worked by man-power
through the agency of a treadmill.
This extraordinary craft went by at
night, close enough to afford the Amer
ican observer an excellent opportunity
for observation. "It came throbbing
and drumming up to and beyond us,"
he writes, "a great yellow box ou ;i
low, broad hull. Huge beams of yel
low lamplight shot out of its many
square windows upon the murky water
beside It.
"Through the windows we saw the
coolie passengers lying on bed-shelves,
and next leyond tlmin the long-coated
gentry in rotitul, button-topped skull
caps, smirking aud gambling and loung
ing about. And then came a fair third
of the broad boat, open at the sides,
lighted by a smoky lamp, and filled
with the ghost-like figures of many
men, all walking, walking, walking,
and yet standing in one place, as they
clamlsred incessantly upon a tread
mill that worked a great naked stern
paddle-wheel, toward which they walk
ed, yet which they never reached.
"The trunks of the spectral men
dripped with perspiration. The feeble
rays of the lamp were caught upon
their sweating sides and shoulders, and
reflected hack. And when two or three
turned their heads to look at our boat,
the light leoped into their eyes, and
made them coals of fire.
"There were twelve or fifteen men
on the treadmill, though there migtit
have been fifty, or none at all, but In
their place a shapeless monster, all
heads and legs and shadows, prisoned
In a dark celi, and condemned to walk
without rest to Sooehow and back, and
back again forever."
The appea ranee of this strange boat
was, to the American writer and the
artist accompanying him, something
frightful, and the toll of the tread-mill
men a thing to shudder at; but to the
Chinese passengers It seems quite
natural and simple, as indeed no doubt
It 1s. The coolies who kick these "kick
away boats," as they are called, over
their route have certainly a hard task;
but It is a question If it Is harder, or as
hard, as that of the stokers In the terri
ble hot depths of an ocean-going steam
ship, and If they are not, according to
the stnixUrd of their country, equally
well paid.
Paradise for Tramps.
A correspondent says that Australia
is a paradise for tramps. They com
prise about one-quarter of the popula
tion, and spend their' life in traveling
from one little colony or station, as It
Is called, to another. The name sun
downer is applied to them for the rea
son that the sun's setting is a signal for
their coming. The stations being so far
apart twenty or thirty miles, or even
more the people have not the heart to
send them adrift to the bush to go
hungry for the night, and they are
recognized as a necessary evil. The
well-to-do farmers have usually a
"traveler's hut," and regular rations
are served out to these wayfarers, a
pound of the inevitable mutton, a pan
nikin or dipper of flour, the water bag
refilled and a bunk for the night.
Chicago Chronicle.
Australian Habblt Plague.
' Australia has found It Impossible to
abate the rabbit plague. In New South
Wales alone, 7,000,000 acres of land
have been abandoned 1,000,000 baa
been spent and the only plan that baa
any good effect la wire netting, and ot
this 15,000 miles have been used.
No girl with a pretty mouth should
ever iay, "I just satted bus rla3
back."