THE IDOL MOO.
sua target hi ideal a mar
fcene far happimss. but not till tWn.
Ma Oliver Hobbea.
The t drr, love-sick youth believes
Tbat lovely woman ne'er deceives
He earaea cynic prod.
Alack lor bolle! alack for bean!
It east ine day he come to know
The idol sometimes nods.
may, indeed, be passing fair,
With sparkling eyes and x olden hair
That charm him. What's the odds
If he should ever get a hint
That lovely tresses change their tint?
Ah, me, the idol nods!
Again, the merry maiden's feet
Look very small, divinely sweet.
In glossy leather shod.
What praise he'll lavish, goodness knows;
Bat if he saw her tortured toes
The idol then would nod.
For him her face is wreathed In smiles
Miaogyaists would call them wiles
There's joy where she has trod;
Bat then one day he sees her frown,
Bis airy castles tumble down.
Why does the idol nod ?
Ah, well for him who comes to think
That life has drab as well as pink.
That man Is not a god;
Aad happiness he'll only find
As soon as be makes up his mind
That idols always nod.
-Sketch.
A HUSBAND
TAKEN BACK.
The bed stood In the middle of the
room, It foot In the open window. From
fax beneath came the night bum of
Chicago, but it was quieted by the dis
tance to a mere luliuhy. So high waa
the top of the great hotel that the gar
lab blue-white of the electric lights,
which so lavishly do: ted the city, was
tossed down to a gentle luminous haze.
The man on the bed tossed from side
U aide uneasily, rolled on bis bark, lay
with his mouth upon :be pillow. In his
right hand be held crunched a letter
written In a woman's writing, and as
certain ware of dream crept over bim
h rumpled the letter savagely and
mumbled through bis clinched teeth
wards of Inarticulate fury. At last bis
dream seemed to culminate, and be
broke Into a paroxysm of coughing,
which awoke him. Ills senses, dim at
first, drew rapidly to the aletC H!s
eyes, so recently glued with sleep, op
ened quickly to their fullest stretch.
. Hia nostrils worked like the nostrils of
a dog on a trail.
"Smoke! Tobacco smoke? I don't
think so. It smells to me like the reek
of burning wood."
His eyea were beginning to open
wider, with the unnatural expausion
'of-terror. George: Carr had been in
America before, and knew what these
thlngfcrf ended. Quickly dropping
hia feet on to the boards of the floor,
be walked across thein, unlocked bis
door, and. opening It, looked into the
passage. He bad no doubt then as to
what bad occurred. Not far below him
was the crisp crackling of flames, and
with It came the cries of badly frighten
ed women and men.
"My God! the hotel Is on fire,' he ex
claimed. "It is built of wood from cel
lar roof tree; it is crammed with
people, and I am close under the shin
gles an the eleventh floor!"
Be irant out on the landing in his
night gear as be was, and attempted to
descend. Columns of gray vapor which
atnng the eyes and nostrils rolled up the
haft of the stairway, and, looking over
the balusters, he saw through the
moke arms of tawny flame which shot
greedily up toward him. The beat was
terrific; It drove him back to hia room
i even before the smoke forced a retreat.
Baked by the continued heat of sum
mer, the great wooden hotel wag burn
ing as though it bad been anointed with
tar.
Carr ran back to bis bedroom and
atood In the midst of the floor, trem
bling like a leaf. He still held In his
tegen the crumpled letter In a woman's
handwriting his wife's, but, remember
ing It. broke oat Into new fury, and
tore It into tiny squares, which flut
tered like white butterflies before the
rising draught
"Grasping, heartless wretch that she
la," he cried. "If It bad not been for
letter, goading me to make more
and still more money, I should
oe catching thia morning's borne boat
from New York harbor. As it Is. I'm
bere to barn slowly to death unless I
, choose to make a quicker ending of it
by jnaipihg oat on to the road 200 feet
Wow." He gare a fierce snort of a
laagh. "Suicide la wrong, we are told.
I wonder tf it would be sinful for me to
eawTmy miseries quickly, Instead of re
naathiag' lUl life l tediously roasted
ant of me here. It la a nice point, but
f'JBtaU not argue it out now. I'm going
t shut my eyes and Jump into eter-
: Xkt walked steadily across to the win-,,-dow.
pot one leg over the sill, and look-
a Jm fnun iUzct haAtrht wtifh nA
3ra escaiie on earth could span. Flames
'wa beginning to Jet through many of
tSr Windows below. In the street two
team Bre engines were already at
other were coining up with
at a furious gallop. The black
of people In the vacant apace
t'U curious white mottling of upturn
l farm Carr threw the other leg over
tit aill, and, stooping over, wondered
rarc he should drop. He wanted to
, J daw, and the ghastly thought
TJk oomeb did not wmat to splash
. V . y Iwmstag roar of the flames in the
C .3 f the atalra draw nearer aad
' t ,-Zkmm a m ta wait. Of
IT mm eeU come. He
I J ClzJ CM he weald jump
l.cfZSlr. Bat.
,t t tveSl tea hb
T .J llk, C aerav
d physically unable to leave hia seat
on the ledge.
"Bah! what a coward I am!" he cried,
"fearing to leap into necessary death
with my face toward it I suppose I
have a woman's nerve jsst now; I must
humor myself like a woman."
He turned about breasting the sill
and lowering himself steadily down till
all hia body bung down against the
wooden wall suspended only by the
finger tips. And, then be saw some
thing which caused such a revulsion of
feeling that he was within an ace of
relaxing bis old and being daabed to
rags In the street below.
Gradually, however, hia muscles stif
fened again, and be drew himself up
and fell faint and trembling on the
board floor of his bedroom. Screwed
t the Jamb of the window was a atout
eyebolt; fastened to this was a long coil
of rope. These things are the ordinary
accompaniment of American hotel bed
rooms anywhere above the first floor,
and Carr had seen tbem scores of times
before. Still feeling sick and dizzy,
Carr gathered himself up from the
floor, and with trembling Angers set
about casting the rope from Its colL
The sniff tangled, and In bla hasty
clumsiness be tied it into bard knots.
Time waa wasted.
At last, however, the long, snaky
length of rope was nnng oat of the
window; and gripping It with bla hands
and legs, the fugitive started hU de
scent He was no practiced climber,
and the rough hemp ate the skin from
his hands as It passed through them,
but such an Inconvenience waa only
of alight moment A far greater dan
ger encompassed him. During bis
delay the Are had gained in strength
and fierceness, and torrents of yellow
blaze were pouring from dozens of the
windows.
He had to pass through two of rbeae,
and emerged at each lower end stifled
and blackened. But the rope remained.
hanging like a tbln, black snake In the
heart of the licking tongue of fire, get
ting deeper and deeper charred every
moment. How long would It continue
to hold him?
Fully conscious of his new peril, he
let the cord slip past htm still more rap
idly, till It felt as though hia hand
were being cut through to the very
bene by a red-hot saw; and then it
broke.
He felt a numbing rash through the
air, a Jarring thud as 01 ten thousand
earthquakes, suns shooting lefore his
eye and that was all. oblivion held
Win entirely.
Later on the doctor presented the
patient, over whom there had been
some controversy, with a paper which
contained a lengthy account of the fire,
and the patient marveled at the inven
tive powers of Chicago Journalists.
When, however, he came to the lint of
the killed, about which there could not
well be any sentimental romancing, be
put the paper down with a start. For
awhile he lay still with bis eyee on
the celling. Then hi glance descended
again and roved round the ward rather
guiltily. Finding that no one was no
ticing him, be once more picked up the
paper. Ye, there it was. In uncom
promising black and white, dewrlbed
with gruesome adjectives and Carr of
Wlngford. England. Curiosity made
blm search further among the column,
and he found the method of bis death
described with gruesome adjectives and
startling headlines. This last owned
to being imaginative, as It mentioned
that be had never been seen alive after
retiring for the night.
Yet it was a bad conjecture of what
might have occurred to a man who wan
slowly suffocated to death.
Again the paper fluttered to the floor,
and again Carr's eyes sought the wil
ing. He trm thinking very bard In
deed, and couldn't quite make up his
mind to something. A course seemed
open before him, a course which bad
some drawbacks, but a multitude of
good points. For ooe thing, It would
ease him forever of h-a wife, who has
tormented his love Into something akin
to hatred ; for another
The doctor came and broke into bis
reverie.
"Say, friend, I want to know your
name. The hotel registers are burned,
and the papers wish to print a Hat of
survivors, so that we may tot up with
more accuracy how many poor wretches
are m!sMug. It's been a aad business,
this, all around; a mighty sad business.
Many deaths, and what did you say
your name was, sir?"
It wa now or never. The choice bad
to be made or the chance missed.
"Carey."
The doctor noted it down on bis cuff.
"Initials, please?"
"Henry G."
"Where of? You're English, I guess
isn't that so?"
"Yes, a Londoner."
"Thanks. I won't ask you how you
like our city, because, erhap. you've
got rather a bad first Impression. Kilt
that'll wear off. sir. You'll like it be
fore you've done." ' .
"I hope so," said the patient dream
ily. "I'm here In America to stay. I
hojie I shall get on."
"Hope so. I'm sure." said the doctor,
briskly. "Wish you every kind of
luck."
An outcast, ragged, tient and prema
turely aged, slotted along beside a high
park wall. The slushy snow of an Eng
lish spring eltbed and flowed across
the soles of Ills bursting boot; (be chill
Of the wind bit savagely through his
rags of clothe. Presently the wall gave
place to a sank fence, gad the tramp
stepped and gated at the view. Over
aa expanse of park aad lawn and ter
ra ra rfese the timbered walla aad ga
Mea of aa Kllaabadiaa country bouse ,
arias, aolSd, graceful. Aa ha watched.
raao-w oeer came oat nt in
gaaed at him for a massiat la haughty
Impudence, and then trotted lata cov
ert. The tramp, with a sigh, started wear
fly on his way. "It seems even grander
than I was told of," he murmured to
himself. "Wealth, comfort, happiness
everywhere. And It might all have
been mine. Every stick and every
shrub left to the wife and me between
us. It fell to ns by will the day be
fore I I died; the day before I wa
burned to ashes In the Chicago fire.
Fancy the Irony of that! The day be
fore! Why didn't tht news reach roe?
I'd a fine fund of selfishness about me
then.
"And Louise was right after all. It
was her duty to urge me to business. I
waa a lazy as the day waa long then,
and she told me of It, and I hated her
for speaking. I've thought since over
that letter, and the pain it must have
caused her to write.
"Eh, well, that's all past and done
with. I died. I wa full of conceit In
myself, and thought an American for
tune wa easily made, even If it was
sometimes lost with suddenness. Tab!
I never reached the first rung of the lad
der. I never roue above laboring with
my hands at unskilled trades, and it
wa being constantly shown me bow 1
was an Indifferent laborer at that
"No, I've missed It badly, and all
through my own short-sighted fault I
might have bad a wife, children and a
stately home. What I do have Is my
share of the queen's wet highway and
weary ache to lie down upon. Of my
self I shall never now be more than
what I am a broken waster. But
there la one thing I won't do, and that's
aak help from her. She'd give It. If
I sought for it; she'd call me back as
her huslmnd if she knew me to be alive;
she'd share with me willingly what is.
perhaps, after all, legally mine to share.
But no, I'm blamed If 1 do. She's a
good woman, and I'm what they call in
the States a mean man. Yes, mighty
mean and down at the heel, uot at all
white; but I've made my bed, anil 1
won't remake h even If I have the
chance. Things are uncomfortable,
but 1 guess they won't drag out much
longer."
He sat heavily down on the wet way
side turf, his legs dangling over the
ditch. "Ten years; ten terrors for nie.
Ten years of her thinking herself a
widow. She's had the chance to marry
again: I beard all about It. Icslle
asked her. the only man I was Jealous
of before I won her for myself. She
likes blm. I kuow; she always did; and
for him she's the only woman in the
world. But she wouldn't marry him
for all that, though he could have
given tier love, title, more wealth, yes.
everything a woman could want."
A crunching noise made the tramp
turn his glance. A stnnrt carriage with
a pair of imnies was coming up round a
turn of the west road. A woman was
driving; a man In livery sat behind.
The tramp gazed for a mlnuie with
starting eyes, then turned away and,
with bowed bead, faced the ditch. "Oh.
my God," he murmured, and clinched
bis hands till the nails drew blood.
The noise of the wheels ceased, and
there was the sound of rustling skirt.
The tramp also noticed the faint smell
of sealskin, but be kept his back reso
lutely Immovable.
"George."
The tramp did not stir. A trembling
band wa placed on his wet shoulder.
"George, look up. I know It is you."
"Woman, go away. You are making
a mistake."
"Look nie In the face and repeat that."
"1-1 will not. I can't."
She s!lited don I) to a seat beside hint
oil the sodden turf, and the groom at
the ponies beads felt bis Jaw drop
down through wonder.
"Oh. Ijoulsc. why cau't you pass me
by? I only came for a peep. I didn't
intend you to see nie God knows 1
didn't. It's all yours now, and I'll not
Uke a fraction away from you. I have
chosen my path like the scoundrel that
I was, and 1 mum keep along It. It
Isn't fit tbat 1 should turn bn-k now."
"Yet you must stay, now that I have
found you."
"I tell you I cannot. You would uot j
ask me if you knew what I have been,
how vilely I have sinned against you.
Don't shake your bead; It Is true. If
you won't credit that, listen."
- She threw her anus around his shoul
ders, pressing him fiercely to ber breaet.
"Iear," ahe said, "yon have come
back to me. I know tbat; I do not want
to know any more."
The tramp tried to pluck himself from
the embrace without avail. Then he
lay against ber furs and shuddered, but
made no more resistance.
Louise Carr had taken back her hus-band.-Blaek
and White.
The Obstacle Overcome,
They are telling the story In lxndon
tbat the impossible American In Paris
alighted at a hotel to find it absolutely
full. "I have nothing," expostulated
the host, almost tearfully, "nothing.
The first floor is. taken by the King of
the Ostenders; the Queen of Monte
garia occupies the second; the Duke of
Cottonoplis Is sharing the third floor
with the Caliph of Port Said; and the
Crown Prince of Nova Ksperanza is
sleeping on the blllard table. As for
myself, I have to make up a bed In the
office, and there only remains the
chamber of my daughter. Of course
" "Is that your daughter?" Inter
rupted the American, polntlug to the
young lady at the desk. "Yes, sir."
"All right; I'll marry her after lunch."
And, giving hia valise to the speechless
Boniface, lie added, "Now, you ran
take my baggage up to our room."
Camel Cannot awls.
Camel are perhaps the on! animate
that cannot swim. ,
A lira man akoald sot want the earth
-he should aa abate It
WIDOW MUGGINS OPPOSITION,
MEH1TABEL MUGGINS, wid
ow of Jethro Muggins, of Cod
fish Haven, was violently op
posed to the very idea of ber daut'hfn
marrying the red-faced, long legged son
of Thomas Jefferson Bigg; first be
cause she wanted to see ber Angellne
the wife of a rich nian, and. secondly,
because Thomas Jefferson, Jr., was not
a rich man.
Aa an offset to this violent opposition
on the part of the Window Muggins,
Thomaa Jefferson Biggs was ready at
any moment to bless tbe union of the
two loving hearts of Ang dine and
Thomaa Jefferson, Jr., and Angellne
and Thomaa Jefferson, Jr., were al
ready one In their hearty harmony with
the vlewa of Thomas Jefferaou Biggs.
Thus do we find odds of three to one
against tbe Widow Muggins.
"Tbe very Idee, Angellne," tbe Wid
ow Muggins was aaytng, a she washed
tbe dishes which Angellne wled, "the
very idee of your marrying Thomas
Jefferson, Jr., Is prepost'rous. Why,
you ain't got a thing In the world to go
on but a few clo'a and a good constitu
tion, and Thomas Jefferson, Jr., ain't
much better off."
"Thomas JeflVrwon, Jr.'s, father owns
the farm they live on, and it will come
to bim some day, mother." ventured
the rosy -cheeked Angellne.
"And so do 1 own tbe farm we live
on." said tbe Widow Muggins, with an
air of aggressive pride; "and It will
come to you some day; but what have
you both got to go on now? Nothing
under the blue canopy, and If you get
married you'll have to go to the poor
bouse or the orphan asylum, or, more
like, to the lunatic asylum."
"Couldn't we marry acd wait, moth
err "Walt! Walt, for what? Walt till
me and Thomas Jefferson Biggs dies?
No, you can't Who'd support you
while you waited?
"I can work, mother, and so can
Thomas Jefferson, Jr."
"I see you working. You can work
In my house, and Tlionins Jefferson, Jr.,
can work on his father's farm; but do
you think I want to tuke u son In law to
raise and do you think I'm going to let
you go over there atfd slave your life
out for tbem Blggses! Indeed, I'm not,
and If you get married at all, Angellne,
with my cousent you'll, marry a man
that Is able to support you and me,
too, If I take n notion that I want to
live with you."
"Maybe be wouldn't want you to live
with us. mother," said Angellne, hesi
tatingly. "Wouldn't?" sniffed the widow.
"Well, I'd show blm very sn whether
be wanted me or not"
"Thomaa Jefferson, Jr., likes you,
mother," Insinuated Angellne.
"And Thomas Jefferson, Jr., would
like to lire in my house. If be likes
me so well, why doesn't be have a
house where I might go If 1 wanted
tor
"He will have, some day, mother."
"Yes, and I'll be In my grave by that
time."
"Oh, no, you won't," coaxed Angellne.
"Don't get to palaverln now,"
snapped the Widow Muggins. "You
can't wheedle me into glvin' my consent
to your marrying Thomas Jefferson,
Jr., now, henceforth or forever. My
mind's made up and will stay made
up."
Angellne might have argued further,
but all at once she glanced out of th.e
door, dropped the teacup she was pol
ishing, and, with a small scream, darted
out of the kitchen iuto the bouse. It
was Thomas Jefferson, Jr., within a
dozen feet of tbe open door, and Atl
gelne wouldn't have bad hlui see ber
looking such sight for anything in the
world
Mebltabcl Muggins looked hurriedly
toward the door through which An
gellne bad vanished, and then toward
the one which Thomas Jefferson, Jr.,
was approm-biiig.
"Oh. It's you. Is It?" she said. In a
tone of welcome that Tbouias Jefferson,
Jr., was accustomed to.
"Yes'm," he responded, meekly,
"How do you do? Where's Angellne?"
"That's more than I know. She went
out of here without telling me where
she was going." '
Thomas Jefferson, Jr., stood In tbe
kitchen door without tbe slightest ex
iectaton of bring Invited to come any
farther.
"I'd like to see Angellne If I could,"
hesitated Thomas Jefferson, Jr.
"Didn't I say I didn't know where
she was?"
"I guess that don't make any great
difference in my liking to see her;
would you think It did?" said Thomas
Jefferson. Jr., tumbling awkwardly
over tbe words.
"I wa talking alxiut you just Iwfore
you come up," remarked tbe widow,
veering from the subject in hand to a
light extent.
"I hoH- you was saying something
good, ma'am."
"I was saying the best thing I could,
which wssn't saying that yon could
marry Angellne."
"Pap said be hoped I would marry
her." said Thomas Jefferson, Jr., throw
ing the burden on bla father' shoul
ders. "I'd like to know what you pap's got
to do with Itr eiclalmed tbe widow,
"la be running my family nowT aha
added, with Intense Irony.
- "No'tn." replied Thomaa Jefferson,
Jr., with nteeknese; "but be said be
might aa well begin now aa any time."
"Ob, he dldr and the widow banged
a saucer down on the table and broke
It In two. "He did, did be? Well, you
can go back and tell him that when I
ain't able to attend to my own business
I'll hire blm as a band to do the rough
work. And you might as well tell him
at the same time that If be thinks you
are going to marry Angellne, you are
very much mistaken.'
"Why can't I marry herr asked
Thomas Jefferson, Jr., with more cour
age than be thought he had.
Tbe Widow Muggins looked blm all
over very slowly, very critically, very
contemptuously, and with ber nose
turned up.
"You're a pretty looking thing to
talk about marrying, ain't you?" sbe
asked. "You are Just like Angeline.
All you've got Is clo's and a constitu
tion and no place to put 'em. You
haven't got enough to pay for the li
cense." "But pap has," argued Thomas Jef
ferson, Jr.
"And so have I," asserted the widow,
with the same old aggressive pride, for
to ber comparisons were odious, "but
that's no sign you are going to get It
I won't have you In my bouse nud "
"I'll take Angeline home to pap's
house," interrupted Thomas Jefferson,
Jr.
"No you won't, either. I won't have
my daughter slaving her life out for
you and your pap, as you call bim."
Over by the gate through which
Thomaa Jefferson, Jr., had come stood
Angellne In a cool, white muslin anil
pink ribbons, as sweet as an apple bios
aoin. She hud arrayed berselt and come
out of tbe house by another door, and
Thomas Jefferson, Jr., was to take her
to a picnic down in the Haven woods.
"Good morning, ma'am," said Thomas
Jefferson, Jr., when be saw ber, and
the abruptness of his parting almost
made tbe cold chills run down the back
of tbe Widow Muggins, for she had
done what she could to avert this pic
nic In a ladylike way. Her efforts had
proven all In vain, and as tbe two
walked away she almost pawed the
floor In ber disappointment and anger,
and there is no telling what would
have happened before the day bad fin
ished If a vent to ber surcharged feel
ings bad not been sent to ber by a kind
Providence. It came about 3 o'clock
In the afternoon In the comfortable per
son of Thomas Jefferson Biggs.
Thomas Jefferson Biggs, as may be
Inferred from the use of the word
"comfortable" In describing him. was
just tbe sort of a person that sort of
an adjective would descrlte. He was
comfortable; he had a comfortable
farm, a comfortable house, a comfort
able gig, a comfortable old horse to pull
It, a comfortable appetite, a comforta
ble digestion, a comfortable conscience,
a comfortable temper, and, unlike Wid
ow Muggins, his life-long neighbor and
friend, he had a comfortable time, for
he took things ns they came and gave
tbem up as they went. He was a wid
ower with no one to look after except
"on, it's vol-, is it?
bis son, Tbouias Jefferson, Jr., and be
felt t tut t he had ample cause to be satis
fied and thankful.
Tbe Widow Muggins sat on the stoop
as be approached, but be did not notice
tbe fire in ber eye, and tbe red ring
around her nose.
"Good day. Mehltiibel," he said,
cheerily, as be came up.
"It's anything but a good day to me."
be replied, like a great dump of gray
sky Into a heaven full of blue.
"My, my, what's tbe matter? You
and I ought to be the happiest people
In the world."
"Spenk for yourself, Thomas Jeffer
son Blggs,""she said, with an effort to
maintain ber good manners.
"Tut, tut," laughed Thomas Jeffer
son. "You need a tonic, Mehltabel.
I'll send Thomas Jefferson, Jr., over
with some tbat I have just bad made
by the herb doctor. It's guaranteed to
make tbe sun shine on the cloudiest
day of the year."
"Well, don't send It by that boy
Thomas Jefferson, Jr.," sbe snapped.
"Why. MehiialH-l. what Is tbe mat
ter with Thomas Jefferson, Jr.r
"Yon know well enough, Thomas
Jefferson," she half whimpered, and
then she iMH-ame strong and went on.
"And right here I want to tell you,
Thomas Jefferson Biggs, that that
Thomas Jefferson, Jr., of yours shall
never marry my Angellne. I have
something higher for her, and I will
nerer consent to ber marrying agamst
my will,"
Mehltabel Muggins was tangling up
ber language, and Thomas Jefferson
Biggs laughed.
"Oh, you may laugh," ahe went on,
letting redder In the fare, "but I mean
Jut what I nay. Angelina hasn't got
anything to marry on, and Thomaa
Jefferson, Jr.. baaa't, and I'd Ilka to
know what In the nana of good nee
they are going to do to make a llvtagf,
"Work, Mebltsbri," suggested Tboas-
as Jefferson Biggs. I
"Wbere'll they workT she retorted.
"I won't take no son-in-law to
and Angellne sha'n't go to your
to slave her life out for the Bigg
"We might rent a small place far
them, or buy It and set tbem up cafls
fortably," said Thomas Jefferson Bigg.
"Then I'd like to know what s to be
come of me." almost sobtied Mehltabel
Muggins. "I'm sure I can't live all by
myself and let my only child go out In
the world without my help and advice,"
The widow was actually sobbing now,
and Tboma Jefferson Biggs pulled a
big red silk handkerchief out of hi
pocket and stuck bis nose Into It sym
pathetically. "And think of me, Mebltabcl," be
said. "I, too, will be all alone, with
my only child gone out Into tbe world
without my help and advice."
"I don't know wbat'a going to hap
pen," sobbed the widow, without any
particular aproposness to anything.
Thomas Jefferson Biggs laughed and
laughed so heartily tbat tbe widow
loked at him In amazement through her
tears.
' "If I tell you bow to arrange It all, no
that Angeline and Thomas Jefferson,
Jr., will bare a borne of their own, yoa
will have a home of your own, and I
OOon-nAT, MKHITABKL, HB SAIB.
will have a borne of my own, and none
of us will have to live alone, will yen
be satisfied T' be naked her.
"Indeed, Thomaa Jefferson, I would,"
sbe said, after tbe manner of belptea
women when relief Is promised.
"'Well, then, let Tbomaa Jefferson,
Jr., move Into your "
"Didn't I tell you I wouldn't Uke any
son-lii law to raise?" aud sbe became
aggressive again.
"Well, theu, let Angellne come te
my "
"Didn't I tell you Angellne shouldn't
slave her life "
Thomas Jefferson Biggs laaghed
again, Interrupting her.
"Very well, madam," said Thomas
Jefferson Biggs, with great dignity,
"there Is but one course to pursue. You
must come to my house and take''
"Whn-wha-what do," tbe Wid
ow Muggins legan to splutter.
"Charge of me," continued Thomas
Jefferson Biggs, "and let the children
take your house and farm. Then yea
won't have any son-ln law, and I won't
have any daughter-in-law, bnt will all
!) one family, with Mr. and Mr. Thom
as Jefferson Biggs In charge of every
thing and Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Jef
ferson, Jr., as tenants."
Then Thomas Jefferson Biggs stooped
down and kissed Mehltabel Muggins
with a loud explosion, and as strange
as It may seem to those who expected
something more of a temper such as
Mebitaliel Muggins' she actually put
her bead down on tbe shoulder of
Thomas Jefferson Biggs and felt com
fortable for tbe first time since the de
parture of the late lamented Jetbre
Muggins, of Codfish Haven. Washing
ton Star.
Whiskers Under tbe Vest.
"Are beards lucrative, or, In ulliei
words, can ne make any money by
wearing fhem long?" said a young man
about town. "I'pon the first thought
and terhaps even after one has evolved
the question carefully In bis mind, he
would reply no. But they are wrong,
a die following case of an old artist
will show. By 'old artist' is not meant
a genius like Ilarnet, Angek, or men of
that clans, but a (winter who, beside
being noted for his superior work la
portraits, is consitcuwus for the quan
tity of hair which sprouts from hi cbiu.
This gentleman, it Is said, has wou
many a wager on bis Is-ard, wblch is of
such length tbat be Is compelled to wear
it underneath bis vest. No one ever aees
the hirsute growth, except when be
exhibit It to settle a bet. To saunte
into a saloon and get into conversatlou
with some of the customers there has
become a hobby wlUi blm, for In doing
so he has an object. He frequently
gets a drink In consequence of betting
with some other fellow who litis a fairly
long beard as to whose la tbe longest,
and It Is seldom that he loses a wager
of this kind, for his whiskers extend to
the bottom of bis wwlaicoat." Iluladeb
..i.i. ,-..11 - '"
pbla Call.
Singular Umm of Memory.
A curious Instance of sudden loss of
memory Is reported from Brighton, En
gland. While aittlng on tbe sea front
a woman felt something break In her
head. She thereupon became unable
to tell her name, address, or anything
connected with her past life. Rha la
at present In tbe Brighton worknouae,
ber continual cry being: "Ob, shall I
get my memory agalnr Her clothing
doe not contain a single mark erni
tlul whereby ahe might be IdenflCd.
A Merer Criticism.
Probably do 4 two artleta ever criti
cised each other more severely thai did
Fusel I and Nortbcote, yet they remain
ed fast friends. At one time Kuaeil was
looking at Northoote's pa hating of the
angel meeting Balaam and Ms ass.
"How do you like Itr asked Worth
cot e, after a long alienee, "htoftheate,"
replied Fnaell, promptly, "yon are an
angel at an as, bnt aa ass at an aafeir
Tbe man carried away by anaraam
Is frequently brought back by CakM,
4